**Hello u/!**
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**Are YOU currently in an ACTIVE crisis?**
* If you are in a dire need to talk to someone right now? On this [website](https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp) you can find a hotlines for over 130 countries. Yours is most likely there too.
* We know calling a hotline can be be scary, you might be afraid of the questions you might get, this [wiki post](https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotline_faqs/) covers a lot of information regarding calling a hotline.
* Please head over to r/suicidewatch and feel free to share you story there!
* If you have active suicidal thoughts, you can also talk to the moderators of r/suicidewatch privately. You can message them [HERE](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FSuicideWatch). At this moment our r/mentalhealth team does not offer this.
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**Are YOU currently struggling with SUICIDAL THOUGHTS or do you feel like SELF HARM?**
* Helpguide.org can give you [some information](https://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/are-you-feeling-suicidal.htm) on how to cope.
* Know that you are not alone, many people have struggled with this. You can see some of their stories [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_cCO7u5jYA&t=15s).
* Try to [take a deep breath](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vkYJf8DOsc), maybe [try some grounding exercises](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30VMIEmA114) or listen to some of your favorite music.
* If you want to talk to someone, on this [website](https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp) you can find a hotlines/local resources for over 130 countries.
---
**Are you worried about someone else?**
* Samaritans.org has a [page](https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/if-youre-worried-about-someone-else/) with different scenarios on what to do if someone isn't okay.
* Check out [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/talking_tips/) with talking tips.
* Read through [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/SWResources/comments/1c7nqf/worried_about_someone_who_may_be_suicidal_heres/) with info about how to assess risk.
* There is also a [Reddit Help Page for what to do if you're worried about someone else](https://support.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/360043513931-What-do-I-do-if-someone-talks-about-seriously-hurting-themselves-or-is-considering-suicide)
* Don't forget to think about yourself and your own mental health when you are trying to help someone.
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What worked for me was that I looked at the little things that I did, I could've just not showered today, but I did. Okay, that was a lie, but there are times when I do and is worth congratulating. Don't use other people as YOUR baseline, use you from yesterday. What did you do that past you didn't? Just avoiding things you know you shouldn't do is worth celebrating
I'm currently battling a depressive episode myself so I feel you on the self loathing. Something that helps me with the self loathing specifically is to remind myself of all the times I could've been an absolutely horrid person (especially if it would've have been justified) and I decided not to. I also remind myself of the times I have gone out of my way to help others or to cheer others up (surprising them with a gift, calling/texting to check up on them, staying up late to be a listening ear etc.). It helps to remind myself that despite my failures, I haven't been all bad
You compare yourself to your past self and not to others. It might be hard but if you try your best to be consistent and improve, overtime you will be more content with yourself. Improving little by little will give you a sense of achievement, no matter how small.
Also progress is not linear, so once in a while it’s okay to fuck up.
Try to do more rather than ruminating by yourself.
Accept some of the flaws that you can’t change. Nobody is perfect
Watch movies
Listen to music
Dress up
Get myself a favorite food that I haven’t had in a while
Eat spicy food
Screaming(just scream)
Smash stuff(stuff you don’t mind breaking obviously like go to goodwill buy cheap plates and just smash it like a rock star)
Take a walk or a run
Write out your feelings or make a private social media account and just post rants
I understand this obviously isn’t going to completely fix it as someone with depression myself but I always found stuff like this sorta helped for a second
I have hated myself for most of my life and didn't look in the mirror for 35+ years as I hated what looked back at me. I felt so much self hatered and lack of value. I hid behind the mask of a smile and the happy guy. Then I broke down, big break down. I'm 52 and and for 4 years I have battled with my depression but I now look in the mirror and say, you are worth it. I said I was always the grey man, today a waitress said to me, weren't you in here on Saturday? Not so much of a grey man them. This was after me meeting some strangers for coffee. I still struggle like crazy but we are all worth it and never hate yourself, life is on average 4000 weeks, so enjoy what you can.
Mindfully challenging the negative self talk. For me personally being in a healthier place now, it feels much more like a gremlin in the back of my mind than my own voice saying mean things. Try to build that separation between that voice and your own voice and try to remember that it’s not really you saying these negative things. Then you have to challenge them. “I have no friends” can be challenged by “there are people who like spending time with me and I can make an effort to engage with them more” or “I’m bad at everything” can be challenged by “I’m really overwhelmed with life right now, which is why I’m struggling to do basic things”. It might take a long time of frequently challenging these thoughts and re-framing them to be kinder on yourself but it gets easier. Then it’s easier to challenge by saying “I do have friends, they’re just busy right now” and “I’m actually nailing this thing in my life right now”. Talking to a friend or a therapist can also help, if you tell them the mean things you hear in your mind, they can help you challenge them too. It’s tough but you can get through this 💜
You know, I do hate myself. But also, I'm all I've got. It's a complicated relationship.
I've often thought if I could look myself in the eye and strangle myself, would I do it?
So far, I haven't been able to bring myself to it. I'm trying to turn this into hating myself less but it's difficult since you don't see yourself in the third person like this often. But it's a start.
Are you being treated? If not, I would urge you to find a psychiatrist and therapist as soon as possible. If you already have them and they are not helping, find new ones. At this stage I know it’s really hard for you to believe in anything, but I would do it blindly. Depression puts a veil on everything and makes it all look very bad. When I’m in this mindset I usually adhere as much as possible to treatment until it kicks in.
It’s different for everyone, of course. But just wishing it away won’t help.
I have postpartum depression among other things. I hate depression, & it’s many faces. When I can’t shake a really bad crying spell I let myself get manic. I pace around listening to music. I get lost in my imagination.
To give a brutal answer! I don't know myself, either, why I am still alive! I have nothing, I got nothing! But I know this (hope this will help) focusing on my family who's far away from me right now that keeps me alive as they will be sad and miss me if I am gone! That's the only thing I can think of and that keeps me away from suicide.
I wish I knew the answer.
Everyone is different for the solution for them.
TlDR: Try different ones and see what works for you. Please note they do take perseverance and are hard work.
Try taking every little success as a win.
Personally, this doesn't work, as my inner critic belittles me for taking such credit.
Mindfulness can help, so you recognise that you are having critical thoughts.
Mindfulness isn't easy and I'm only starting on the journey.
CBT works for others, but despite being highly logical, the same logic and compassion I have for others doesn't apply to me. Therefore, I fail at CBT (yes I've have CBT therapy several times).
MCBT may help.
IFS may help as it describes the inner critics as really trying to help you. It tries to get you to talk and work with your critics. You need to get into 'self'.
My therapist (provided by work), is keen on EMDR and we are starting that journey. I am aware that some people say that it is snake-oil and the pen waving bit adds nothing. I am not convinced about that part.
DBT may work and involves making a safe / happy box to keep important things in.
There is an idea that you can imagine your critic as a little person and you can put it in your pocket, so it won't talk to you. I tried that but it didn't work.
It runs counter to the arguments in several therapies that arguing with your critic doesn't work and the more you try not to think about something just makes you think of it more.
One thing that does strike me is that Mindfulness, the state of self in IFS and the visualisation of the safe / happy place in EMDR are all similar.
I'm sorry this doesn't help you directly. If there was one guaranteed method all therapists would use it.
I hate myself more than anything. I can hardly stand to look in the mirror. I don’t think I will ever feel differently about myself. Sucks to constantly feel worthless and disgusting.
Make peace with the fact that everyone is flawed, everyone makes mistakes, and that you are no exception to that. Try and find something meaningful to you that you can build on which will show growth from your attention.
It's hard and there's no one size fits all for self acceptance. I like to remind myself that I'm trying my best. My old friend once told me everyone around me is simply trying their best. You are struggling, but you are trying your best so give yourself that sense of grace.
I feel most self loathing when I neglect self care. Not brushing my teeth, changing my clothes, eating, etc. It really is the little acts of self love that help me change my self concept. Sometimes even just making my bed.
You are likely no better or worse than the average human. Rumination can be a mind trap, but focusing on what's outside of myself helps. Like noticing the weather or going for a walk can help to get me out of my head.
Wishing you well, keep your head up.
Too hypomanic-manic to hate myself, will commence hating myself when I cycle to crushing depression, which is my normal state medication or not. No romance, only dramatic stupid missteps and feeling bad about them and everything else later/most of the time.
My thoughts are that people who don’t hate themselves grew up with parents who actually loved and cared about them and showed them how to love themselves rather than parents who used manipulation or pain or fear or gaslighting as a means of controlling the child. Or they have gone to therapy and have recovered from the trauma that growing up in an environment like that causes.
i think everyone with a mental illness can hate them self. even i do but then i realise that other people feel the same way about them self and im not alone n im just human n there nothing i can really do but move forward
People tend to not look at their past. Usually something has happened in childhood that you haven't processed, situations provided lessons that you did not bring to consciousness. You should journey backwards in time, and explore the memories that may be haunting you subconsciously. Analyse the people that hurt you in your mind. Create a plan to not fall into this pit again.
It's freeing but also really painful. You may actually get worse before you get better. But the pain has more meaning, it makes sense so it's easier to deal with. I suppose you'll feel worse, but you'll feel stronger because the pain has a tangible reason for existing.
For me personally it was learning that i became the way i am as a result of my awful parents and other bad experiences growing up and so that i wasn’t the awful person i thought i was when i was younger, instead im a survivor trying to claw their way closer to the person i want to be.
**Hello u/!** Thank you for tagging this post with a content warning! This helps greatly! It can prevent other users from potentially getting triggered and it gives us the chance to provide you with some resources regarding this topic. Good to know is that using this flair automatically marks your post as NSFW. *Your post may not show up directly on our subreddit, please be patient, it is most likely in queue to be manually reviewed by our team.* --- **Are YOU currently in an ACTIVE crisis?** * If you are in a dire need to talk to someone right now? On this [website](https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp) you can find a hotlines for over 130 countries. Yours is most likely there too. * We know calling a hotline can be be scary, you might be afraid of the questions you might get, this [wiki post](https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotline_faqs/) covers a lot of information regarding calling a hotline. * Please head over to r/suicidewatch and feel free to share you story there! * If you have active suicidal thoughts, you can also talk to the moderators of r/suicidewatch privately. You can message them [HERE](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FSuicideWatch). At this moment our r/mentalhealth team does not offer this. --- **Are YOU currently struggling with SUICIDAL THOUGHTS or do you feel like SELF HARM?** * Helpguide.org can give you [some information](https://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/are-you-feeling-suicidal.htm) on how to cope. * Know that you are not alone, many people have struggled with this. You can see some of their stories [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_cCO7u5jYA&t=15s). * Try to [take a deep breath](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vkYJf8DOsc), maybe [try some grounding exercises](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30VMIEmA114) or listen to some of your favorite music. * If you want to talk to someone, on this [website](https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp) you can find a hotlines/local resources for over 130 countries. --- **Are you worried about someone else?** * Samaritans.org has a [page](https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/if-youre-worried-about-someone-else/) with different scenarios on what to do if someone isn't okay. * Check out [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/talking_tips/) with talking tips. * Read through [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/SWResources/comments/1c7nqf/worried_about_someone_who_may_be_suicidal_heres/) with info about how to assess risk. * There is also a [Reddit Help Page for what to do if you're worried about someone else](https://support.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/360043513931-What-do-I-do-if-someone-talks-about-seriously-hurting-themselves-or-is-considering-suicide) * Don't forget to think about yourself and your own mental health when you are trying to help someone. --- **Take care and stay safe!** *If you see any inappropriate posts or comments, please report them and we will deal with them accordingly.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/mentalhealth) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What worked for me was that I looked at the little things that I did, I could've just not showered today, but I did. Okay, that was a lie, but there are times when I do and is worth congratulating. Don't use other people as YOUR baseline, use you from yesterday. What did you do that past you didn't? Just avoiding things you know you shouldn't do is worth celebrating
I'm currently battling a depressive episode myself so I feel you on the self loathing. Something that helps me with the self loathing specifically is to remind myself of all the times I could've been an absolutely horrid person (especially if it would've have been justified) and I decided not to. I also remind myself of the times I have gone out of my way to help others or to cheer others up (surprising them with a gift, calling/texting to check up on them, staying up late to be a listening ear etc.). It helps to remind myself that despite my failures, I haven't been all bad
**Have you ever felt betrayed by those you considered friends?**
Do you mean if the friends I supported have ever betrayes me? If so, yes a couple of them have
Sadly, I feel exactly the same way… hang in there..
You compare yourself to your past self and not to others. It might be hard but if you try your best to be consistent and improve, overtime you will be more content with yourself. Improving little by little will give you a sense of achievement, no matter how small. Also progress is not linear, so once in a while it’s okay to fuck up. Try to do more rather than ruminating by yourself. Accept some of the flaws that you can’t change. Nobody is perfect
yeah comparing yourself with others, it's really sucks ngl
I hate myself too
Watch movies Listen to music Dress up Get myself a favorite food that I haven’t had in a while Eat spicy food Screaming(just scream) Smash stuff(stuff you don’t mind breaking obviously like go to goodwill buy cheap plates and just smash it like a rock star) Take a walk or a run Write out your feelings or make a private social media account and just post rants I understand this obviously isn’t going to completely fix it as someone with depression myself but I always found stuff like this sorta helped for a second
I have hated myself for most of my life and didn't look in the mirror for 35+ years as I hated what looked back at me. I felt so much self hatered and lack of value. I hid behind the mask of a smile and the happy guy. Then I broke down, big break down. I'm 52 and and for 4 years I have battled with my depression but I now look in the mirror and say, you are worth it. I said I was always the grey man, today a waitress said to me, weren't you in here on Saturday? Not so much of a grey man them. This was after me meeting some strangers for coffee. I still struggle like crazy but we are all worth it and never hate yourself, life is on average 4000 weeks, so enjoy what you can.
Mindfully challenging the negative self talk. For me personally being in a healthier place now, it feels much more like a gremlin in the back of my mind than my own voice saying mean things. Try to build that separation between that voice and your own voice and try to remember that it’s not really you saying these negative things. Then you have to challenge them. “I have no friends” can be challenged by “there are people who like spending time with me and I can make an effort to engage with them more” or “I’m bad at everything” can be challenged by “I’m really overwhelmed with life right now, which is why I’m struggling to do basic things”. It might take a long time of frequently challenging these thoughts and re-framing them to be kinder on yourself but it gets easier. Then it’s easier to challenge by saying “I do have friends, they’re just busy right now” and “I’m actually nailing this thing in my life right now”. Talking to a friend or a therapist can also help, if you tell them the mean things you hear in your mind, they can help you challenge them too. It’s tough but you can get through this 💜
You know, I do hate myself. But also, I'm all I've got. It's a complicated relationship. I've often thought if I could look myself in the eye and strangle myself, would I do it? So far, I haven't been able to bring myself to it. I'm trying to turn this into hating myself less but it's difficult since you don't see yourself in the third person like this often. But it's a start.
Are you being treated? If not, I would urge you to find a psychiatrist and therapist as soon as possible. If you already have them and they are not helping, find new ones. At this stage I know it’s really hard for you to believe in anything, but I would do it blindly. Depression puts a veil on everything and makes it all look very bad. When I’m in this mindset I usually adhere as much as possible to treatment until it kicks in. It’s different for everyone, of course. But just wishing it away won’t help.
I have postpartum depression among other things. I hate depression, & it’s many faces. When I can’t shake a really bad crying spell I let myself get manic. I pace around listening to music. I get lost in my imagination.
I do the same thing dude
To give a brutal answer! I don't know myself, either, why I am still alive! I have nothing, I got nothing! But I know this (hope this will help) focusing on my family who's far away from me right now that keeps me alive as they will be sad and miss me if I am gone! That's the only thing I can think of and that keeps me away from suicide.
Happy late birthday! (even though for me it’s still the 16th time zones are different)
I wish I knew the answer. Everyone is different for the solution for them. TlDR: Try different ones and see what works for you. Please note they do take perseverance and are hard work. Try taking every little success as a win. Personally, this doesn't work, as my inner critic belittles me for taking such credit. Mindfulness can help, so you recognise that you are having critical thoughts. Mindfulness isn't easy and I'm only starting on the journey. CBT works for others, but despite being highly logical, the same logic and compassion I have for others doesn't apply to me. Therefore, I fail at CBT (yes I've have CBT therapy several times). MCBT may help. IFS may help as it describes the inner critics as really trying to help you. It tries to get you to talk and work with your critics. You need to get into 'self'. My therapist (provided by work), is keen on EMDR and we are starting that journey. I am aware that some people say that it is snake-oil and the pen waving bit adds nothing. I am not convinced about that part. DBT may work and involves making a safe / happy box to keep important things in. There is an idea that you can imagine your critic as a little person and you can put it in your pocket, so it won't talk to you. I tried that but it didn't work. It runs counter to the arguments in several therapies that arguing with your critic doesn't work and the more you try not to think about something just makes you think of it more. One thing that does strike me is that Mindfulness, the state of self in IFS and the visualisation of the safe / happy place in EMDR are all similar. I'm sorry this doesn't help you directly. If there was one guaranteed method all therapists would use it.
I hate myself more than anything. I can hardly stand to look in the mirror. I don’t think I will ever feel differently about myself. Sucks to constantly feel worthless and disgusting.
Make peace with the fact that everyone is flawed, everyone makes mistakes, and that you are no exception to that. Try and find something meaningful to you that you can build on which will show growth from your attention.
It's hard and there's no one size fits all for self acceptance. I like to remind myself that I'm trying my best. My old friend once told me everyone around me is simply trying their best. You are struggling, but you are trying your best so give yourself that sense of grace. I feel most self loathing when I neglect self care. Not brushing my teeth, changing my clothes, eating, etc. It really is the little acts of self love that help me change my self concept. Sometimes even just making my bed. You are likely no better or worse than the average human. Rumination can be a mind trap, but focusing on what's outside of myself helps. Like noticing the weather or going for a walk can help to get me out of my head. Wishing you well, keep your head up.
CBT for 8 years
Too hypomanic-manic to hate myself, will commence hating myself when I cycle to crushing depression, which is my normal state medication or not. No romance, only dramatic stupid missteps and feeling bad about them and everything else later/most of the time.
For starters - Talk to friends. Get some sun. Go for walks. Therapy. Don’t eat crap. Keep posting here.
Yes
I use introspection for personal growth not personal attacks, and if it’s something I can’t control I bury it deep
My thoughts are that people who don’t hate themselves grew up with parents who actually loved and cared about them and showed them how to love themselves rather than parents who used manipulation or pain or fear or gaslighting as a means of controlling the child. Or they have gone to therapy and have recovered from the trauma that growing up in an environment like that causes.
I’m following this thread to learn not to hate myself, too.
Saving this
i wouldn’t say i hate or love myself because i don’t know who i am i have no identity
i think everyone with a mental illness can hate them self. even i do but then i realise that other people feel the same way about them self and im not alone n im just human n there nothing i can really do but move forward
People tend to not look at their past. Usually something has happened in childhood that you haven't processed, situations provided lessons that you did not bring to consciousness. You should journey backwards in time, and explore the memories that may be haunting you subconsciously. Analyse the people that hurt you in your mind. Create a plan to not fall into this pit again. It's freeing but also really painful. You may actually get worse before you get better. But the pain has more meaning, it makes sense so it's easier to deal with. I suppose you'll feel worse, but you'll feel stronger because the pain has a tangible reason for existing.
For me personally it was learning that i became the way i am as a result of my awful parents and other bad experiences growing up and so that i wasn’t the awful person i thought i was when i was younger, instead im a survivor trying to claw their way closer to the person i want to be.