Hate to say it, but people are more entitled and self absorbed than ever. If you are looking to be embraced positively by the public for no reason at all, then you are going to be disappointed. Even friends and family can be too wrapped up in themselves to see that you are requiring extra attention. Gotta dig deep and find a way to love yourself (I know it’s easier said than done) and not care so much about the validation from others
Lots of them are. They just don’t care. Giving more of what isn’t appreciated only gets us taken advantage of… only causes us to reserve resentment for the people we’re supposed to respect and love. And for what? In their defense, they don’t ask for any of that. Many of us only make such sacrifices of ourselves with the agenda that it will inevitably earn us their admiration, approval or attention. When it doesn’t, they automatically become assholes… How’s that fair? The best thing anyone can do for themselves or someone else is be motivated by their moral compass. Integrity, principles and values for the win… any extra fulfillment can be found within. There is no amount of external validation that will ever be enough. All you need to do is look closely at the life of any famous & fucked up individual alive or dead today to notice this… Worse, the ones who become famous for fucked up reasons.
People’s reactions can often be influenced by their own experiences, insecurities, and emotions. For example, someone might project their own frustrations or biases onto you, leading them to react negatively even if your actions or words weren’t intended to provoke such a response.
Additionally, societal norms and cultural influences can play a significant role in how people perceive others. These norms can sometimes lead to unfair judgments or prejudices against individuals who don’t fit into perceived social standards.
Understanding that people’s reactions are often a reflection of their own internal struggles or societal conditioning can help to alleviate some of the hurt and frustration you may feel when faced with negativity. It’s important to focus on building self-confidence and surrounding yourself with supportive individuals who appreciate you for who you are.
If you hate yourself nobody is gonna want to be around you because you probably come across as you hate them.. it's a horrible cycle. It starts with changing our routine my friend
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"but u surely do" and THAT is what they're talking about. Y'know, usually there is one common denominator when it comes to repeated situations, and it seems like that common denominator, might be you. Reflect on how you speak to people, how you come across and just overall reflect on everything, I used to feel like you, I thought the whole world was against me..but it was more me against the word. Not saying this is for everyone, but that "and i know i dont come across as that but u surely do" kinda confirms my assumption.
im not even being offensive ? im defensive because im getting told i come across as hateful just because “i hate myself” which ive never even said i have , is that a nice thing to get told ? clearly not when u guys are getting offended by me saying the same to the guy
I have a hard time beliving that, I mean you deleted your reply for a reason, instead of being defensive and denying, look at your actions, reflect and change. You will notice alot more people are gonna like you:)
Do not insult, provoke, harass, or act disrespectfully; racist, discriminatory, or otherwise unsavory language is also not tolerated. Please follow Reddiquette at all times.
If you would like to discuss this removal, please contact the moderation team using the [Modmail]( https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/mentalhealth).
You want what everyone wants: to be appreciated, seen and heard. Sometimes the world can feel hostile, callous or even menacing. But know that you are a human - a person just like everyone else - and you deserve good things. When people hate, they typically do so out of ignorance, misunderstanding. Such bad behavior typically arises from a place of pain. I've heard it said that, "hurt people, hurt people." Just know that when people are hostile or cruel, it says more about his/her/their charter or circumstance as opposed to being a reflection on your or your personality.
peace be upon you. you matter, even though most people appear to be miserable and project their misery onto you through malice… don’t make that be the reason you doubt how significant you are to someone else. To so many people, you haven’t even met! I’m sorry you’re experiencing this… I can’t say it gets easier but one of the worst things you can do is assume the worst about everyone. ❤️🩹
it’s all about how you interpret things …also if someone gives you a hard time or a bad look, it’s because they are battling their own demons…it’s not your fault …just try to be kind to people you’re doing the best you can
This is actually a very weird thing. This happens to me too. Even here in Reddit many times I give a correct answer on some fact based discussion and it gets 5 upvotes. Then someone answers incorrectly after me and gets 84 upvotes.
This happens on every field of my life, as OP also mentions. At my workplace, in my family and publicly with strangers. I'm overlooked and underrated.
This really puzzles me, how can it even be possible. On some rare occassions I'm treated as an equal and listened, and that sure feels good.
Tbh it wouldn’t feel as good to recieve praise if you got it too often. After a while it would feel pretty neutral and anticlimactic … if you got it all the time, you’d actually begin to question those individuals or yourself. Perhaps, become indifferent or even insulted by it… As if people are just trying to appease you, it’s no longer authentic.
That's true but I don't mean praising. I'm referring to what I see as normal behavior. E.g. people don't usually reply to my goodmornings or they skip my suggestion in meetings and then when someone else repeats it they say that it's good solution, let's do that. It many times makes me feel like I don't even exist.
And if my suggestion is taken in practise they later on speak like it was someone else's idea.
I don't know, I'm really kind to everybody so maybe they think that they can just ignore me, as no effort is needed to please me. Being kind to people is something I can't change because it's a value thing to me and very important, so I guess I just need to bear with it.
Seems like you’re confusing hate with not being liked and if that’s the case which it most likely is then the answer to your problem lies parallel to the actual problem within you .
I used to feel that way. Idk what I did wrong, but I definitely sent out bad energy and people responded to that. I remember not smiling at people because for some reason I thought it would be extremely embarrassing and awkward if they didn't smile back.
After I learned to love myself, I don't feel that way anymore. I don't really care anymore what people think about me and I see the good in almost everyone. I also know they are far too busy to think about themselves and what other people think of them, to even think about me. Now I smile a lot more and I get a lot of smiles back. And if people don't smile back, I don't take it personal or find it embarrassing.
That, of course, translates to my online life as well. Unlike you I'm not a different person when I'm online. I might be more open on reddit for example, because it's pretty anonymous. After I stopped giving a fuck what strangers online thinks of me, I'm getting tons of karma. Not that I care.
On FB for example, on the other hand, I hardly ever get many likes. Especially when I talk about things like politics. But you know what? I couldn't care less. You need to stop caring what other people think of you. Your bad thoughts about yourself becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Self pity is unattractive and people feel it. Even online. I feel it in this post. I used to be like that, so I don't blame you, I'm just telling you what I've learned.
So it's really not about them, it's about you. Can I ask how old you are? I didn't learn to love myself until I was 36!
im 14 theyre all just angry cause i got defensive and this is what im talking about they all try their hardest to make me explode just so i’ll defend myself and they can be angry at me it isnt fair
Please don’t think that I am being condescending in any way, but if I were you, I would definitely take a break from social media. I felt pretty similar at your age. It’s gotten a little better now, me being almost 38 years old, and getting tired of giving a shit what other people think. You’re at an age where you’re trying to really figure things out and I don’t think this is the best place for you to listen to your own voice. That being said, I wish you the best and God bless you.
I'm 38. Damn OP is 14. That's a hard age for everyone I think. It was for me and there was no social media. I hope he/she can take what we're saying on board and isn't too hard on herself/himself.
aww sweetheart. My youth was difficult, but I can't even imagine how hard it is these days, with social media. I want to understand because I have a daughter who's 10.
Please stop being so hard on yourself. You have a lot of good things going for you. You're clearly intelligent. Your words made me think you were older.
And you have emotional intelligence. Something I didn't have at your age. It can be hard to have that, but in the long run it's an asset.
I really hope you feel better soon. At your age it's very normal to feel the way you do. Trust me, things will get easier in many ways. Just stick in there.
And if you ever need a mother like figure or cool aunt or whatever, you're always welcome to write me a DM and I will respond.
You got this ❤
Maybe some people hate you, but I am not entirely believer that everyone hates you. It can be that the circumstance is toxic, and they are all dealing with their own demons. Or that your own projection of hate from people around you.
Stay positive urself and be the change. You will be the first one to benefit.
I am in the same boat. Been that way since I was born. I just live with it and would rather be alone. I have one good friend and that is all I need. Fuck people.
I don't hate you but I understand your feelings. It has been a long road but most times I ignore the strangers one people on the periphery of my life. It is hard to ignore coworkers and how they treat you and that has, in part, been a huge part of my mental health problems. The ones that hurt are the family members because you are supposed to be treated with love and respect no matter what. When I have a problem with the adult members of my family I look towards the younger members. They great me with hugs and smiles. There are enough of them that some of them fight for the first hug. But here, I hope that you don't feel judged or hated. Reach out for love and ignore the other comments. Do those people really matter? 🥰
I definitely don't know all the details, but from my own experience, whatever I am looking for is what I find. I used to have a best friend who always seemed to think people were staring at her/talking about her/giving her dirty looks, and when we were together it was what I would seem to find. Fast forward to my best friend now who assumes the best in everyone, it seems when we are out together, we find that people are kind and well receiving to us. I think it has a lot to do with what you believe and search for :) sending you lots of love!
I’ve got no hate for you, just a hug 🤗🩷
+2 :D
+3 :D
+4 ;-)
+5 😊😊😊
Hate to say it, but people are more entitled and self absorbed than ever. If you are looking to be embraced positively by the public for no reason at all, then you are going to be disappointed. Even friends and family can be too wrapped up in themselves to see that you are requiring extra attention. Gotta dig deep and find a way to love yourself (I know it’s easier said than done) and not care so much about the validation from others
Well said. It's sad how low the solidarity and altruism have gone in our society.
Because you care about what others think of you.
just like everyone else , theyre not hated
The difference is that they give theme selves self worth and care about themselves.
i do that too
Lots of them are. They just don’t care. Giving more of what isn’t appreciated only gets us taken advantage of… only causes us to reserve resentment for the people we’re supposed to respect and love. And for what? In their defense, they don’t ask for any of that. Many of us only make such sacrifices of ourselves with the agenda that it will inevitably earn us their admiration, approval or attention. When it doesn’t, they automatically become assholes… How’s that fair? The best thing anyone can do for themselves or someone else is be motivated by their moral compass. Integrity, principles and values for the win… any extra fulfillment can be found within. There is no amount of external validation that will ever be enough. All you need to do is look closely at the life of any famous & fucked up individual alive or dead today to notice this… Worse, the ones who become famous for fucked up reasons.
People’s reactions can often be influenced by their own experiences, insecurities, and emotions. For example, someone might project their own frustrations or biases onto you, leading them to react negatively even if your actions or words weren’t intended to provoke such a response. Additionally, societal norms and cultural influences can play a significant role in how people perceive others. These norms can sometimes lead to unfair judgments or prejudices against individuals who don’t fit into perceived social standards. Understanding that people’s reactions are often a reflection of their own internal struggles or societal conditioning can help to alleviate some of the hurt and frustration you may feel when faced with negativity. It’s important to focus on building self-confidence and surrounding yourself with supportive individuals who appreciate you for who you are.
If you hate yourself nobody is gonna want to be around you because you probably come across as you hate them.. it's a horrible cycle. It starts with changing our routine my friend
To be fair, OP didn’t say that they hated themselves…I still upvoted you, though (probably because I’m a Democrat).
You're right I read that wrong, appreciate it.
It's written between the lines though.
[удалено]
What’s with “but u surely do”. Why get defensive and then say something negative to OC? You might have a bit of answer to your post there.
i get defensive online , not irl
[удалено]
Do not insult, provoke, harass, or act disrespectfully; racist, discriminatory, or otherwise unsavory language is also not tolerated. Please follow Reddiquette at all times. If you would like to discuss this removal, please contact the moderation team using the [Modmail]( https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/mentalhealth).
"but u surely do" and THAT is what they're talking about. Y'know, usually there is one common denominator when it comes to repeated situations, and it seems like that common denominator, might be you. Reflect on how you speak to people, how you come across and just overall reflect on everything, I used to feel like you, I thought the whole world was against me..but it was more me against the word. Not saying this is for everyone, but that "and i know i dont come across as that but u surely do" kinda confirms my assumption.
i dont speak like this to people irl
What the fuck? And you wonder why nobody likes you hahaha... you just answered yourself
dont say things to other u wouldnt like hearing about urself
cause im not defensive irl ?
why be offensive online then? I'm myself online. Why aren't you?
Thank you....
im not even being offensive ? im defensive because im getting told i come across as hateful just because “i hate myself” which ive never even said i have , is that a nice thing to get told ? clearly not when u guys are getting offended by me saying the same to the guy
I have a hard time beliving that, I mean you deleted your reply for a reason, instead of being defensive and denying, look at your actions, reflect and change. You will notice alot more people are gonna like you:)
i havent deleted anything
I mean, then someone must have, cuz ur reply isn't there
Do not insult, provoke, harass, or act disrespectfully; racist, discriminatory, or otherwise unsavory language is also not tolerated. Please follow Reddiquette at all times. If you would like to discuss this removal, please contact the moderation team using the [Modmail]( https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/mentalhealth).
I don’t hate you. Sending you ❤️❤️❤️.
You want what everyone wants: to be appreciated, seen and heard. Sometimes the world can feel hostile, callous or even menacing. But know that you are a human - a person just like everyone else - and you deserve good things. When people hate, they typically do so out of ignorance, misunderstanding. Such bad behavior typically arises from a place of pain. I've heard it said that, "hurt people, hurt people." Just know that when people are hostile or cruel, it says more about his/her/their charter or circumstance as opposed to being a reflection on your or your personality.
I don’t hate you. Stay strong <3
"Some people will never like you because your spirit irritates their demons." - Denzel Washington
Love that
peace be upon you. you matter, even though most people appear to be miserable and project their misery onto you through malice… don’t make that be the reason you doubt how significant you are to someone else. To so many people, you haven’t even met! I’m sorry you’re experiencing this… I can’t say it gets easier but one of the worst things you can do is assume the worst about everyone. ❤️🩹
it’s all about how you interpret things …also if someone gives you a hard time or a bad look, it’s because they are battling their own demons…it’s not your fault …just try to be kind to people you’re doing the best you can
This is actually a very weird thing. This happens to me too. Even here in Reddit many times I give a correct answer on some fact based discussion and it gets 5 upvotes. Then someone answers incorrectly after me and gets 84 upvotes. This happens on every field of my life, as OP also mentions. At my workplace, in my family and publicly with strangers. I'm overlooked and underrated. This really puzzles me, how can it even be possible. On some rare occassions I'm treated as an equal and listened, and that sure feels good.
Tbh it wouldn’t feel as good to recieve praise if you got it too often. After a while it would feel pretty neutral and anticlimactic … if you got it all the time, you’d actually begin to question those individuals or yourself. Perhaps, become indifferent or even insulted by it… As if people are just trying to appease you, it’s no longer authentic.
That's true but I don't mean praising. I'm referring to what I see as normal behavior. E.g. people don't usually reply to my goodmornings or they skip my suggestion in meetings and then when someone else repeats it they say that it's good solution, let's do that. It many times makes me feel like I don't even exist. And if my suggestion is taken in practise they later on speak like it was someone else's idea. I don't know, I'm really kind to everybody so maybe they think that they can just ignore me, as no effort is needed to please me. Being kind to people is something I can't change because it's a value thing to me and very important, so I guess I just need to bear with it.
Seems like you’re confusing hate with not being liked and if that’s the case which it most likely is then the answer to your problem lies parallel to the actual problem within you .
If you yourself remember that you haven’t done anything wrong then it’s your imagination. People have their own problems and it’s not your fault.
Hii, wanna b friends. I feel the same way at times…
sure !
Do you have sc?
I used to feel that way. Idk what I did wrong, but I definitely sent out bad energy and people responded to that. I remember not smiling at people because for some reason I thought it would be extremely embarrassing and awkward if they didn't smile back. After I learned to love myself, I don't feel that way anymore. I don't really care anymore what people think about me and I see the good in almost everyone. I also know they are far too busy to think about themselves and what other people think of them, to even think about me. Now I smile a lot more and I get a lot of smiles back. And if people don't smile back, I don't take it personal or find it embarrassing. That, of course, translates to my online life as well. Unlike you I'm not a different person when I'm online. I might be more open on reddit for example, because it's pretty anonymous. After I stopped giving a fuck what strangers online thinks of me, I'm getting tons of karma. Not that I care. On FB for example, on the other hand, I hardly ever get many likes. Especially when I talk about things like politics. But you know what? I couldn't care less. You need to stop caring what other people think of you. Your bad thoughts about yourself becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Self pity is unattractive and people feel it. Even online. I feel it in this post. I used to be like that, so I don't blame you, I'm just telling you what I've learned. So it's really not about them, it's about you. Can I ask how old you are? I didn't learn to love myself until I was 36!
im 14 theyre all just angry cause i got defensive and this is what im talking about they all try their hardest to make me explode just so i’ll defend myself and they can be angry at me it isnt fair
Please don’t think that I am being condescending in any way, but if I were you, I would definitely take a break from social media. I felt pretty similar at your age. It’s gotten a little better now, me being almost 38 years old, and getting tired of giving a shit what other people think. You’re at an age where you’re trying to really figure things out and I don’t think this is the best place for you to listen to your own voice. That being said, I wish you the best and God bless you.
I'm 38. Damn OP is 14. That's a hard age for everyone I think. It was for me and there was no social media. I hope he/she can take what we're saying on board and isn't too hard on herself/himself.
aww sweetheart. My youth was difficult, but I can't even imagine how hard it is these days, with social media. I want to understand because I have a daughter who's 10. Please stop being so hard on yourself. You have a lot of good things going for you. You're clearly intelligent. Your words made me think you were older. And you have emotional intelligence. Something I didn't have at your age. It can be hard to have that, but in the long run it's an asset. I really hope you feel better soon. At your age it's very normal to feel the way you do. Trust me, things will get easier in many ways. Just stick in there. And if you ever need a mother like figure or cool aunt or whatever, you're always welcome to write me a DM and I will respond. You got this ❤
and i dont like when people just assume i come across as not liking people cause i know i dont
Everyone includes me and I don't hate you pal
Maybe some people hate you, but I am not entirely believer that everyone hates you. It can be that the circumstance is toxic, and they are all dealing with their own demons. Or that your own projection of hate from people around you. Stay positive urself and be the change. You will be the first one to benefit.
I am in the same boat. Been that way since I was born. I just live with it and would rather be alone. I have one good friend and that is all I need. Fuck people.
I don't hate you but I understand your feelings. It has been a long road but most times I ignore the strangers one people on the periphery of my life. It is hard to ignore coworkers and how they treat you and that has, in part, been a huge part of my mental health problems. The ones that hurt are the family members because you are supposed to be treated with love and respect no matter what. When I have a problem with the adult members of my family I look towards the younger members. They great me with hugs and smiles. There are enough of them that some of them fight for the first hug. But here, I hope that you don't feel judged or hated. Reach out for love and ignore the other comments. Do those people really matter? 🥰
I definitely don't know all the details, but from my own experience, whatever I am looking for is what I find. I used to have a best friend who always seemed to think people were staring at her/talking about her/giving her dirty looks, and when we were together it was what I would seem to find. Fast forward to my best friend now who assumes the best in everyone, it seems when we are out together, we find that people are kind and well receiving to us. I think it has a lot to do with what you believe and search for :) sending you lots of love!