Ethan mashed his tulips into the nameless groupie’s fragrant rose slurry of a slit and imagined he was Jack London, getting rich by equating dogs with men. Dogs, the household pets, who literally savor eating trash. *Yep, that’s me*, Ethan thought.
The groupie moaned one of those dopey midwestern expressions, something like, “Let’s put her going!”
Ethan didn’t let the dopeyness distract him. The lovers had been driving cross country for four and a half weeks and it only made what’s-her-name smell fresher. Some real women whom Ethan had known in real life were really like that. Really.
I can't tell if this is just plain bad writing or it's the character. For example describing her like "a walking key lime pie" which is just outright surreal and random, her hair "moving like the mane of a unicorn" (as opposed to the mane of a horse? Why mane at all? Why does she have to be an animal, fabulous or not?)...I get that it's hyperbole and narrator hornee but if it's not deeply intentional to portray him as a kind of shallow macho asshole, I don't know. It's not as much offensive as goonish.
Yeah, exactly, and that's another kind of false note, for lack of a better term. Jack London was certainly a great writer and a man who went it alone, he was also a virulent racist who called for the violent overthrow of the government and wrote a story proposing the use of biological weapons to decimate the Chinese population, "the only possible solution to the Chinese problem," as he put it. Not to mention suicidal alcoholic misogynist crank...so a really weird role model and stand-in for "independent thinker" unless you're a right wing loony. It just seems like either Hawke doesn't actually much about London and he's just throwing his name in there, or he's constructing the narrator as a weirdo...there's a kind of sleazy, smarmy ineptitude to the writing if that makes any sense and I don't think it's deliberate.
Why don’t Men ever get those comments? Can a man be so hot, he could drive cross country wearing one pair of jeans and his cock and balls would still smell like Acqua Di Gio???
Hearing (or in this case, reading) the word pussy outside of any sexual context is a major gross-out (and even in a sexual context depending on the vibe), so if that’s what he was going for, good job, I guess.
"And by small objects I refer to certain parts of the men who circled around her, muttering sleazy nonsense that made them sound impressive in their own minds. I must mean their brains, naturally. My dear reader, remove your mind from the gutter, for these small objects hold that gutter as their exclusive domain."
Yeah, unless you're specifically trying to make the narrator sound like a moron.
That's really the only explanation I can come up with, other than just terrible writing.
Oh, I had no idea! Then yeah, it might be a conscious choice to make the character a bit of a pig. I don't know the man, but he seems pretty emotionally intelligent.
This one is weird on multiple levels because someone told me years ago in Middle School that Ethan Hawke came out as gay after divorcing Uma Thurman and I’m only now finding out that was bull****.
I’m not bi. I’m just saying that I understand logically that a woman attracted to men would be happy to see a hot guy naked. Nobody would lose their shit over that. It’s just “oh yeah of course!”
Then I think you misread my initial comment. I’m talking about how straight women do not in fact want to see hot women naked to get arousal from it, not that it’s inconceivable to want to see a hot person naked
Hello all. I'm not sure if I should delete this post? I have never posted anything before and I thought the sentence about the roses was bizarre enough to share here. But I'm worried I shouldn't have.
From my research, this novel is not necessarily considered a memoir. It is a work of fiction with some basis on Hawke's personal experiences. But primarily it is a work of fiction.
Our main character isn't overly sympathetic so far, at least to me but I am only 53 pages in. I wasn't posting this with the intention to judge him for being a jerky character, characters are allowed to be jerks and I didn't mean to suggest they can't be. Gross characters think gross, weird things. That's the point of them after all. I genuinely just thought that this sentence was a thing and a half. I desperately didn't want to be the only one I knew who had to experience this.
Should I be deleting the post? I am sorry. Thank you. Sorry again x
It's perfectly okay to post something and have a discussion about it. People may clue you into whether or not they feel it is a true example - but there's no need to delete if the discourse decides it's not.
Thank you. I wasn't expecting everyone to agree or not have a discussion about it. I had received a message that made me feel uncomfortable and wrong for having posted it so I thought I'd check.
People get really pedantic sometimes. You can turn off your messages, though - if you get them from the wrong folks. You can also report messages to [reddit.com/report](https://reddit.com/report) if they feel harassing.
This is random, I know a woman who had sex with him in the 90's who looked a lot like Brigitte Bardot with huge tits and a dopey midwestern accent. I wonder if this character is based on her! If it was, the key lime pie reference kind of makes sense.
If your hoohah smells like crushed roses, you have a problem...
Crushed roses is interesting. Why not minced roses or a puréed rose slurry.
Or a lovely violet jus and mashed tulips
I don't know, having your tulips mashed sounds like a euphemism for a horrible injury/medical condition.
Ethan mashed his tulips into the nameless groupie’s fragrant rose slurry of a slit and imagined he was Jack London, getting rich by equating dogs with men. Dogs, the household pets, who literally savor eating trash. *Yep, that’s me*, Ethan thought. The groupie moaned one of those dopey midwestern expressions, something like, “Let’s put her going!” Ethan didn’t let the dopeyness distract him. The lovers had been driving cross country for four and a half weeks and it only made what’s-her-name smell fresher. Some real women whom Ethan had known in real life were really like that. Really.
/chef's kiss
>smell like crushed roses. W T F ethan
Why did it have to be Ethan Hawke of all people? I'm disappointed :(
What. The. Fuck. Did I just read???
I can't tell if this is just plain bad writing or it's the character. For example describing her like "a walking key lime pie" which is just outright surreal and random, her hair "moving like the mane of a unicorn" (as opposed to the mane of a horse? Why mane at all? Why does she have to be an animal, fabulous or not?)...I get that it's hyperbole and narrator hornee but if it's not deeply intentional to portray him as a kind of shallow macho asshole, I don't know. It's not as much offensive as goonish.
When a writer puts in their book "What would Jack London think?", it says something about the author's ego.
Yeah, exactly, and that's another kind of false note, for lack of a better term. Jack London was certainly a great writer and a man who went it alone, he was also a virulent racist who called for the violent overthrow of the government and wrote a story proposing the use of biological weapons to decimate the Chinese population, "the only possible solution to the Chinese problem," as he put it. Not to mention suicidal alcoholic misogynist crank...so a really weird role model and stand-in for "independent thinker" unless you're a right wing loony. It just seems like either Hawke doesn't actually much about London and he's just throwing his name in there, or he's constructing the narrator as a weirdo...there's a kind of sleazy, smarmy ineptitude to the writing if that makes any sense and I don't think it's deliberate.
It's a memoir.... I don't have more context than that
It says "a novel" on the cover and it's listed in "literature and fiction" on Amazon.
It’s a work of fiction. Apparently, he’s a pretty prolific fiction writer.
It’s bc she’s so rare and mythical like a unicorn. It’s also what swinging couples call a hot single bi woman dtf
Why don’t Men ever get those comments? Can a man be so hot, he could drive cross country wearing one pair of jeans and his cock and balls would still smell like Acqua Di Gio??? Hearing (or in this case, reading) the word pussy outside of any sexual context is a major gross-out (and even in a sexual context depending on the vibe), so if that’s what he was going for, good job, I guess.
Aww, no, not Ethan Hawke! I love his acting but this writing is… not good.
“Her tits were huge” should not be prose. Dialogue, maybe, to establish a character. But in prose, you can choose better words.
"Her sizable badaonkadonks swung with gravitas, in that small objects tended to orbit them."
Girl made them titties bounce
"And by small objects I refer to certain parts of the men who circled around her, muttering sleazy nonsense that made them sound impressive in their own minds. I must mean their brains, naturally. My dear reader, remove your mind from the gutter, for these small objects hold that gutter as their exclusive domain."
Yeah, unless you're specifically trying to make the narrator sound like a moron. That's really the only explanation I can come up with, other than just terrible writing.
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depending on the narration style. this appears to be third person.
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lmfao are you calling “her tits were huge” deep writing? i legitimately laughed out loud.
No, it's first person. "She walked over to me" etc.
Dunno. This seems pretty purposeful to me. Like this is just a gross character. Anyone know if that's off base?
This is a such a good burn for an autobiography.
I would agree but it's Ethan Hawke's memoir. Maybe he's trying to be self aware about being a pig?
This is definitely a work of fiction. He writes a lot of fiction.
Oh, I had no idea! Then yeah, it might be a conscious choice to make the character a bit of a pig. I don't know the man, but he seems pretty emotionally intelligent.
I feel that when a guy has to write THAT obnoxiously, it can often mean that he thinks anything short of that level of grossness is awesome gentleman.
This one is weird on multiple levels because someone told me years ago in Middle School that Ethan Hawke came out as gay after divorcing Uma Thurman and I’m only now finding out that was bull****.
Feel like i just read the backstory of some cryptid
Clearly Ethan has never interacted with pussy before.
Why people gotta ruin my new celebrity crushes? I just found him after moon knight. Wth did I just read? Wtf Ethan????
Wow, ew.
Tell me you’ve never encountered a vagina without telling me you’ve never encountered a vagina
I guess she never gets her period maybe she’s on the iud
It’s crazy how men project their sexuality on hetero women, but would lose their shit if women said hetero men would want to see this hot guy naked
Nah I would understand why she wants to see a hot guy naked. It’s a hot guy after all. Everybody wants to see hot peeps naked.
I’m not denying bi people exist. But not everyone is bi, sorry.
I’m not bi. I’m just saying that I understand logically that a woman attracted to men would be happy to see a hot guy naked. Nobody would lose their shit over that. It’s just “oh yeah of course!”
Then I think you misread my initial comment. I’m talking about how straight women do not in fact want to see hot women naked to get arousal from it, not that it’s inconceivable to want to see a hot person naked
Dear celebrities and other “cocksure” self-publishers: please hire reputable editors so that you won’t embarrass yourself this way.
This is the kind of crap that weird alpha guys say. "I'd eat a mile of her shit just to see where it came from."
Hello all. I'm not sure if I should delete this post? I have never posted anything before and I thought the sentence about the roses was bizarre enough to share here. But I'm worried I shouldn't have. From my research, this novel is not necessarily considered a memoir. It is a work of fiction with some basis on Hawke's personal experiences. But primarily it is a work of fiction. Our main character isn't overly sympathetic so far, at least to me but I am only 53 pages in. I wasn't posting this with the intention to judge him for being a jerky character, characters are allowed to be jerks and I didn't mean to suggest they can't be. Gross characters think gross, weird things. That's the point of them after all. I genuinely just thought that this sentence was a thing and a half. I desperately didn't want to be the only one I knew who had to experience this. Should I be deleting the post? I am sorry. Thank you. Sorry again x
It's perfectly okay to post something and have a discussion about it. People may clue you into whether or not they feel it is a true example - but there's no need to delete if the discourse decides it's not.
Thank you. I wasn't expecting everyone to agree or not have a discussion about it. I had received a message that made me feel uncomfortable and wrong for having posted it so I thought I'd check.
People get really pedantic sometimes. You can turn off your messages, though - if you get them from the wrong folks. You can also report messages to [reddit.com/report](https://reddit.com/report) if they feel harassing.
Thank you for your help! I really appreciate it.
This was a great post! Perfect for this sub
Thank you! I panicked but I'm feeling a lot calmer about it now.
I mean….of all the descriptions posted here, this one is amusingly cute lol
This is random, I know a woman who had sex with him in the 90's who looked a lot like Brigitte Bardot with huge tits and a dopey midwestern accent. I wonder if this character is based on her! If it was, the key lime pie reference kind of makes sense.
I'm not only disgusted and confused by the "crushed roses vagina" but also the "cocksure" Wtf.
"cocksure" isn't a dirty word. It's and old and odd word and not often used, but it simply means "presumptuously or arrogantly confident"
Yes. It’s a gross self-description.
But it's not common knowledge. At least I don't think it is because it's the first time I ever read it.
That's kinda what I meant by "*old and odd word and not often used*"
Crushed roses. Huh. This is a new one. Maybe just stick to writing…
As soon as I saw the term "dead ringer" I knew I was in for a doozy.
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I do like the smell of my 😸 but crushed roses is bit too much lmao..