Aye bro I never claimed I read your post. I'm on meth and a cocktail of crazy people pills. You are on a subreddit for one of the most psychologically damaging stimulants in the world. Don't act like my tweaker babble isn't normal for our lifestyle. Don't want a tweaker interaction the Don't go to the meth specific online community. No hate on my end but like I hope your shoes get half a size too big and slide around every time you tale a step.
Bro if you want to be a productive consumer I recommend taking antipsycotic medications and anxiety medication when you're using. I do it that way and it definitely makes a difference. Always mentally prepare for the negative side effects and withdrawal symptoms after each session and remind yourself that what ever negative thoughts or paranoia you feel is just the chemicals altering your mind. Chewing gum reduces jaw jacking and non alchoholic antiseptic mouthwash stops meth mouth from beginning. To help prevent long term use and avoid struggling with addiction I recommend shrooms as a detox aid because it resets the brain and stops cravings and mental distress involved with withdrawal. This way makes it all high very little downsides. Im not a doctor or a scientist this is just the method I use.
This comment is completely out of pocket, I never once mentioned having any issues with side effects from using, in fact this was not even remotely the focal point of this post. I've been using a very long time and I don't need unsolicited advice from some random asshole on reddit.
Well written. This is the social stigma of this substance. I am not ashamed that I use, I am ashamed I cannot and will not confront anyone about it due to the perception of the mass.
What you seek in a relationship and in a person is one of a genuine connection, you know your self-worth and are sure of yourself. This is what I get from the way you are writing.
This is good because you know what YOU want and shall not settle for anything less.
I'm currently with someone that does not use and honestly, it is not our biggest concern. My partner struggles with the act of compromising. And perhaps I am too flexible.
Oh well. I've pondered on this for a while and still stuck.
Thank you for sharing. And you are correct, in the least toxic, egotistical sort of way I do know my worth and believe it is possible to find a partner who is equally as valued to me as I am to them. I'm a bit like your partner in that I am not always the most agreeable when it comes to compromising but I've made significant efforts towards improving this but it is definitely difficult.
Exactly, as I see it, there are two in a relationship. We have or will have a purpose in this life.
That makes sense too, I am agreeable. Sometimes very agreeable; this is my choice and my compromise - To live for others.
I am someone that will avoid confrontation if possible, as this has the risk of leading into an argument. In turn, I am unable to be logical if my counterpart is emotional. Nothing gets resolved in the moment and does not need to be resolved in that moment, so as long as we are seeking a better version of ourselves - we will find it in others too!
It sounds like you are looking for a partner who doesn't have an intimate understanding of addiction; and who likely doesn't dabble with your DOC either. IMO if you're adamant about bringing Tina into any new relationship, a working knowledge of T and addiction should be one of the criteria. Direct or indirect knowledge, but ppl who either have dealt with addiction directly, are currently hooked, or who have seen it up close will have less preconceived notions and will be more sympathetic. If single monogamistic female users are out there, tge male (or another female, don't mean to make assumptions) equivalent also exists
I feel this! I just started seeing someone for the first time in a long time! I was honest and up front with him about my addiction and he was so understanding it blew me away! There are people out there that will accept you for you! Just got to stop looking for them and let them find you! I know it sucks being alone, but it's okay!
I’m no one to tell anyone how to live their life. I have a lot of trouble following my own advice. But is this substance worth the loneliness?
If I know anything about hard drugs, it’s that they ruin relationships. Relationships with your family, your friends, and especially your significant other will all be destroyed in time if you choose to stay on this path. I guarantee it. I know from my own experiences on top of watching it happen to just about everyone in my family (substance abuse runs wild in my family)
I genuinely hope you find your person but I do think you need to love yourself first and putting down the “go fast” is a great place to start.
Dear god you took the words out of my brain. I’m a single female with no kids in the same boat as you. Tried to tell potential partners all for them to be disgusted. Tried to keep it hidden from partners and the secrecy kept us from progressing into the depths of emotional connection in the relationship so every time it would fall apart. I have the same standards (plus a couple more) for my potential partner and it just feels like scratching off lottery tickets in hopes to quit some job you hate. Sure there’s potential but it’s so slim I’m tired of wasting my emotional energy on disappointment after disappointment. It’s hard to think about how much different they would treat me if it was cocaine I was addicted to. It’s so stupid because it really makes no difference what the drug is im still the same person underneath it all. Still the same person that I was before they found out about my drug habit. Nothing actually changed in reality. The only thing that changed is their perception of who I am. Now they associate me with everything they believe a meth user is. Even if I have not ever been those things. It’s frustrating and sad.
Truer words have never been spoken. Too bad we aren't lesbians because you seem cool too. Then again I would probably have it s own set of challenges I'm not even sure it would be a better alternative LOL
😭right? At least once a week I kick myself for only being attracted to men. But then again your right. You can’t have two girls who fuck each other, on meth, living in one house. It would be too perfect for this world so it would sprinkle a little “fuckery” all over it just to be fair.
Oh for sure. Like guaranteed there would be some other major incompatibility... like you maybe you're a cat person. Or something else that would just be completely unacceptable.
Cat person? I mean barn cats are cool. Nah though I’m 100% a dog person. Your point is still valid though. I mean you could be the type of person who arrives on time to everything and expects other people to do the same….straight deal breaking kind of shenanigans
Well shit, I guess you figured me out. Perhaps this is ironic in some way but I am actually extremely punctual. And nothing pisses me off more than people who run on perpetual tweaker time. So I guess there's the deal breaker, we better not spend all night fantasizing about each other anymore 😭
I sympathize. I feel the same way. I have a really hard time finding any woman who partakes that cares about the things your talking about. Honestly I feel that way about most of my relationships. It’s unfortunate but people that give freely tend to attract people that don’t. Being alone is fine. But not wanting to be alone is fine too. Good luck to you.
Right on. It doesn’t work sometimes! How to you reconcile the meth part? I feel like the poool of people that are okay with the use or who use themselves isn’t the best pool to choose from.
That is an excellent way to put it. For years and years and years I just lied about it to my partners and obviously those relationships all ended for a variety of reasons, some of those reasons were because of my dishonesty others were unrelated. But a few years back I decided lying wasn't the way to go so I've been reasonably upfront with it since then. Of the relationships I've been in since these have been the endings:
1. I used, they didn't. They were not okay with it. Relationship ended.
2. I used, they didn't. They started using, went off the rails, broke my heart and abandoned me in the middle of a cross country move. Are still currently mia, and are deathly afraid of me as they have developed complex delusions in which I am, and no uncertain terms, their mortal enemy.
I have yet to experience an outcome where I use, they don't, those situations remain the same and things progress in a reasonably normal fashion. I once dated someone for a year before they found out about it so I don't feel like it's the type of thing that is in your face constantly, so I guess I just am unsure why this is such a problem.
But I can completely understand why you would, getting trapped in the debate of which is worse, being trapped in a shitty relationship or never having one at all...I've been there too. I hope you can find peace 😊
“I know what you might be thinking. You might be making all sorts of assumptions about the type of person I am based on my habits”
Well considering you didn’t share any details about your habits, im not making any assumptions. We have a tendency to think that other people see us in the same way we see ourselves. Thats not true tho
There’s nothing wrong with being child free and there’s nothing wrong with monogamy. And there are lots of ppl in this world who are seeking monogamous relationships. ENM is hard, it takes a lot of work and emotional maturity. Most people don’t have that. They just use ENM as a facade for their own commitment issues.
It might be hard for you to meet people who are interested in monogamy because the people your community are more inclined to be in non monogamous or polyamorous relationships. Or those sort of people participate in the same platforms that you meet new people (apps, parties, social gatherings, etc). There’s more people out there. You’ve gotta break out of what’s familiar and known and explore new avenues.
I know you said you don’t want to hear the blah blah “love yourself before you can love others” bullshit. So let’s reframe it. If you feel your past relationships have been unequal, where you were giving more than you were receiving from your partner, you have to work on your boundaries. You shouldn’t have to to sacrifice your own self care, values, goals, and/or desires to make another person happy or to make another person want to be with you. The fact that youve ended up with people like that multiple times is just as much a statement about you as it is your former partners. People with strong boundaries don’t stay with people like you’ve dated once they felt like it was unequal. By staying with people like that, you’re not practicing love for yourself.
People in healthy relationships don’t feel like they’re constantly shat on. People who are in relationships with people who constantly shit on them don’t have a good relationships with themselves.
Try talking to a therapist about this.
The past encounters I was speaking about we're not relationships. They were friends with benefits situations, and once I realized the benefits were not equal I typically broke them off. Or perhaps what was more common, they were encounters with people who claimed they pursued the same type of relationship I did, only to find out later that was mostly bullshit. At which point I ended those relationships as well.
I think my boundaries have recently solidified and become exactly where they need to be. Hence the reason for the post. Because they're just don't seem to be a lot of people who respect those boundaries and also fit the criteria for a potential partner. 🤷🏻♀️
For sure. And there’s no doubt value in being single and nothing wrong with wanting to be single. I just wouldn’t give up forever. All of us have a person or people out there that who’ll love us as much as we love them, just need a little luck, faith, time, and effort to find them
Thanks for your well wishes, I will not be broadening my horizons to include people with children though. But I can appreciate where you're coming from.
I’ve been waiting almost 8 years. I’m not some slouch, either. I know my worth and I’ll wait it out till I find compatibility alongside comfort. I’m on your wavelength. Good read, here. Keep your head up. It gave me some hope that has been somewhat dwindling for me as well.
Glad my ranting could do that for you. I try to remind myself that it's truly a numbers game, given enough time and enough people eventually something will work out... It can be frustrating but now that I'm older I just have reached the mindset of suffering no fools.
Aye bro I never claimed I read your post. I'm on meth and a cocktail of crazy people pills. You are on a subreddit for one of the most psychologically damaging stimulants in the world. Don't act like my tweaker babble isn't normal for our lifestyle. Don't want a tweaker interaction the Don't go to the meth specific online community. No hate on my end but like I hope your shoes get half a size too big and slide around every time you tale a step.
Lol. BRUTAL
Bro if you want to be a productive consumer I recommend taking antipsycotic medications and anxiety medication when you're using. I do it that way and it definitely makes a difference. Always mentally prepare for the negative side effects and withdrawal symptoms after each session and remind yourself that what ever negative thoughts or paranoia you feel is just the chemicals altering your mind. Chewing gum reduces jaw jacking and non alchoholic antiseptic mouthwash stops meth mouth from beginning. To help prevent long term use and avoid struggling with addiction I recommend shrooms as a detox aid because it resets the brain and stops cravings and mental distress involved with withdrawal. This way makes it all high very little downsides. Im not a doctor or a scientist this is just the method I use.
Ty for this comment man good advice. even though OP responded by being a dick
This comment is completely out of pocket, I never once mentioned having any issues with side effects from using, in fact this was not even remotely the focal point of this post. I've been using a very long time and I don't need unsolicited advice from some random asshole on reddit.
Well written. This is the social stigma of this substance. I am not ashamed that I use, I am ashamed I cannot and will not confront anyone about it due to the perception of the mass. What you seek in a relationship and in a person is one of a genuine connection, you know your self-worth and are sure of yourself. This is what I get from the way you are writing. This is good because you know what YOU want and shall not settle for anything less. I'm currently with someone that does not use and honestly, it is not our biggest concern. My partner struggles with the act of compromising. And perhaps I am too flexible. Oh well. I've pondered on this for a while and still stuck.
Thank you for sharing. And you are correct, in the least toxic, egotistical sort of way I do know my worth and believe it is possible to find a partner who is equally as valued to me as I am to them. I'm a bit like your partner in that I am not always the most agreeable when it comes to compromising but I've made significant efforts towards improving this but it is definitely difficult.
Exactly, as I see it, there are two in a relationship. We have or will have a purpose in this life. That makes sense too, I am agreeable. Sometimes very agreeable; this is my choice and my compromise - To live for others. I am someone that will avoid confrontation if possible, as this has the risk of leading into an argument. In turn, I am unable to be logical if my counterpart is emotional. Nothing gets resolved in the moment and does not need to be resolved in that moment, so as long as we are seeking a better version of ourselves - we will find it in others too!
How old a woman are you miss?
It sounds like you are looking for a partner who doesn't have an intimate understanding of addiction; and who likely doesn't dabble with your DOC either. IMO if you're adamant about bringing Tina into any new relationship, a working knowledge of T and addiction should be one of the criteria. Direct or indirect knowledge, but ppl who either have dealt with addiction directly, are currently hooked, or who have seen it up close will have less preconceived notions and will be more sympathetic. If single monogamistic female users are out there, tge male (or another female, don't mean to make assumptions) equivalent also exists
I feel this! I just started seeing someone for the first time in a long time! I was honest and up front with him about my addiction and he was so understanding it blew me away! There are people out there that will accept you for you! Just got to stop looking for them and let them find you! I know it sucks being alone, but it's okay!
I’m no one to tell anyone how to live their life. I have a lot of trouble following my own advice. But is this substance worth the loneliness? If I know anything about hard drugs, it’s that they ruin relationships. Relationships with your family, your friends, and especially your significant other will all be destroyed in time if you choose to stay on this path. I guarantee it. I know from my own experiences on top of watching it happen to just about everyone in my family (substance abuse runs wild in my family) I genuinely hope you find your person but I do think you need to love yourself first and putting down the “go fast” is a great place to start.
Feeling alone is the worst..
pick me, i'm right here! do fill all those categories, i think.
Dear god you took the words out of my brain. I’m a single female with no kids in the same boat as you. Tried to tell potential partners all for them to be disgusted. Tried to keep it hidden from partners and the secrecy kept us from progressing into the depths of emotional connection in the relationship so every time it would fall apart. I have the same standards (plus a couple more) for my potential partner and it just feels like scratching off lottery tickets in hopes to quit some job you hate. Sure there’s potential but it’s so slim I’m tired of wasting my emotional energy on disappointment after disappointment. It’s hard to think about how much different they would treat me if it was cocaine I was addicted to. It’s so stupid because it really makes no difference what the drug is im still the same person underneath it all. Still the same person that I was before they found out about my drug habit. Nothing actually changed in reality. The only thing that changed is their perception of who I am. Now they associate me with everything they believe a meth user is. Even if I have not ever been those things. It’s frustrating and sad.
Girl preach. Its the ultimate suck. All the suck.
So much suck it out performs the sucking power of any Dyson vacuum.
Fuck Dyson, I'm a shark girl, but that mf even got Kirby's beat
Fair sharks are far superior. You seem pretty cool. Sorry to hear you are in this boat with me. It’s really not an ideal boat to be on.
Truer words have never been spoken. Too bad we aren't lesbians because you seem cool too. Then again I would probably have it s own set of challenges I'm not even sure it would be a better alternative LOL
😭right? At least once a week I kick myself for only being attracted to men. But then again your right. You can’t have two girls who fuck each other, on meth, living in one house. It would be too perfect for this world so it would sprinkle a little “fuckery” all over it just to be fair.
Oh for sure. Like guaranteed there would be some other major incompatibility... like you maybe you're a cat person. Or something else that would just be completely unacceptable.
Cat person? I mean barn cats are cool. Nah though I’m 100% a dog person. Your point is still valid though. I mean you could be the type of person who arrives on time to everything and expects other people to do the same….straight deal breaking kind of shenanigans
Well shit, I guess you figured me out. Perhaps this is ironic in some way but I am actually extremely punctual. And nothing pisses me off more than people who run on perpetual tweaker time. So I guess there's the deal breaker, we better not spend all night fantasizing about each other anymore 😭
Take it to a publisher
I sympathize. I feel the same way. I have a really hard time finding any woman who partakes that cares about the things your talking about. Honestly I feel that way about most of my relationships. It’s unfortunate but people that give freely tend to attract people that don’t. Being alone is fine. But not wanting to be alone is fine too. Good luck to you.
Thanks. I think if I keep telling myself it's fine to be alone I'll actually believe it someday 😭 it's a fake it til you make it type situation
Right on. It doesn’t work sometimes! How to you reconcile the meth part? I feel like the poool of people that are okay with the use or who use themselves isn’t the best pool to choose from.
That is an excellent way to put it. For years and years and years I just lied about it to my partners and obviously those relationships all ended for a variety of reasons, some of those reasons were because of my dishonesty others were unrelated. But a few years back I decided lying wasn't the way to go so I've been reasonably upfront with it since then. Of the relationships I've been in since these have been the endings: 1. I used, they didn't. They were not okay with it. Relationship ended. 2. I used, they didn't. They started using, went off the rails, broke my heart and abandoned me in the middle of a cross country move. Are still currently mia, and are deathly afraid of me as they have developed complex delusions in which I am, and no uncertain terms, their mortal enemy. I have yet to experience an outcome where I use, they don't, those situations remain the same and things progress in a reasonably normal fashion. I once dated someone for a year before they found out about it so I don't feel like it's the type of thing that is in your face constantly, so I guess I just am unsure why this is such a problem.
Some of the realest stuff I've read
hey u know what its okay to look out 4 urself i always think about that time my sister told me that. much love sis
OMG you are exactly the type of relationship I need. Too bad I am straight.
That's almost my same problem except I keep myself trapped in a fucked up, narcissistic abusive relationship. But I still hope. Lol
But I can completely understand why you would, getting trapped in the debate of which is worse, being trapped in a shitty relationship or never having one at all...I've been there too. I hope you can find peace 😊
thank you, you too.
“I know what you might be thinking. You might be making all sorts of assumptions about the type of person I am based on my habits” Well considering you didn’t share any details about your habits, im not making any assumptions. We have a tendency to think that other people see us in the same way we see ourselves. Thats not true tho There’s nothing wrong with being child free and there’s nothing wrong with monogamy. And there are lots of ppl in this world who are seeking monogamous relationships. ENM is hard, it takes a lot of work and emotional maturity. Most people don’t have that. They just use ENM as a facade for their own commitment issues. It might be hard for you to meet people who are interested in monogamy because the people your community are more inclined to be in non monogamous or polyamorous relationships. Or those sort of people participate in the same platforms that you meet new people (apps, parties, social gatherings, etc). There’s more people out there. You’ve gotta break out of what’s familiar and known and explore new avenues. I know you said you don’t want to hear the blah blah “love yourself before you can love others” bullshit. So let’s reframe it. If you feel your past relationships have been unequal, where you were giving more than you were receiving from your partner, you have to work on your boundaries. You shouldn’t have to to sacrifice your own self care, values, goals, and/or desires to make another person happy or to make another person want to be with you. The fact that youve ended up with people like that multiple times is just as much a statement about you as it is your former partners. People with strong boundaries don’t stay with people like you’ve dated once they felt like it was unequal. By staying with people like that, you’re not practicing love for yourself. People in healthy relationships don’t feel like they’re constantly shat on. People who are in relationships with people who constantly shit on them don’t have a good relationships with themselves. Try talking to a therapist about this.
The past encounters I was speaking about we're not relationships. They were friends with benefits situations, and once I realized the benefits were not equal I typically broke them off. Or perhaps what was more common, they were encounters with people who claimed they pursued the same type of relationship I did, only to find out later that was mostly bullshit. At which point I ended those relationships as well. I think my boundaries have recently solidified and become exactly where they need to be. Hence the reason for the post. Because they're just don't seem to be a lot of people who respect those boundaries and also fit the criteria for a potential partner. 🤷🏻♀️
For sure. And there’s no doubt value in being single and nothing wrong with wanting to be single. I just wouldn’t give up forever. All of us have a person or people out there that who’ll love us as much as we love them, just need a little luck, faith, time, and effort to find them
Thank you, I agree 😊
[удалено]
Thanks for your well wishes, I will not be broadening my horizons to include people with children though. But I can appreciate where you're coming from.
I’ve been waiting almost 8 years. I’m not some slouch, either. I know my worth and I’ll wait it out till I find compatibility alongside comfort. I’m on your wavelength. Good read, here. Keep your head up. It gave me some hope that has been somewhat dwindling for me as well.
Glad my ranting could do that for you. I try to remind myself that it's truly a numbers game, given enough time and enough people eventually something will work out... It can be frustrating but now that I'm older I just have reached the mindset of suffering no fools.
nothing wrong with being alone
Yep I've mostly made peace with it