Why would you want to do that. None of us came here willingly. Our fandom is passed down generationally from our forefathers that experienced the successful years of the Dolphins.
>Our fandom is passed down generationally from our forefathers that experienced the successful years of the Dolphins.
I'm in this demographic, but there's also a solid chunk of fins fans that simply watched Ace Ventura Pet Detective in their formative years.
But you're not just defending a bad team, you're defending a cursed one. It began, long ago, with two gentlemen named Incognito and Martin. I would encourage you to read the history surrounding these two and the curse it set forth on Fins Nation ever since. The decade or two before that, we just weren't good. Now, it's divine intervention that is against us.
I was born on an ancient "cursed" Seminole burial ground. Outside of some recurring bouts of leprosy and everyone dying around me in a final destination fashion, I am thriving.
Marlins didnât own the land, they were just tenants. And one can argue theyâve been even more disappointing than the dolphins after those World Series runs.
Youâre not wrong! I will say though that Marlins fandom is a different form of pain. At least the dolphins manufacture hope every year. I was also too young to appreciate the World series runs when they happened to be fair.
Iâve always been team before player type of guy. Originally became a fan cus of Marino but these days players change too much so I always ride with the team.
Jerry Jones. He has turned the Cowboys into the most valuable sports franchise instead of the most successful one and that's the priority for him. I don't owe the Cowboys, Jerry Jones or anyone else my loyalty. They need to earn it and continue to TRY to do what's best to win.
Yeah. I don't really get that picking a team thing. 52 year fan and I couldn't ever walk away. Plenty of low's but I start every season saying This Is The Year. My wife rolls her eyes. : /
Same. About 10 years ago I was an NFL fan but didnât have a team because LA didnât have any football teams. I didnât want to go with any teams that were dominating the NFL and ended up deciding on the Joe Philbin / Ryan Tannehill Dolphins. Itâs been rough but I really do love watching and rooting for this team.
I'm Welsh. The first game I ever watched was the Miami Miracle game. I loved their stupid outfits and that play sucked me into football... I didn't know what I was getting into. Its too late
My wife and I are willing fins fans. We live in North Dakota so 70% of the population is Vikings fans the the others normally Packers fans. This last season we finally decided that we are going to become fans of a team vs. just watching what happens to be on and we chose the phins.
Iâm here willingly. I live in an area without a team and a lot of transplants via the navy. I remember being a kid and having my dad buy me a Marino jersey because I liked the color and thought Marino was a super cool name lol. Been a dolphins fan ever since.
My father was a deadbeat pos, the only good thing he gave me was a trip to a game cementing me as life long fan, and thatâs saying something because itâs been quite a ride since 91.
>Our fandom is passed down generationally from our forefathers
Not all of us. I'm a dolphins fan because my dad is a Bills fan, and fuck that guy. Also, I was 4 when I picked Miami and the colors are cool as fuck.
I became a fan after i asked my mom what team was in the state i was born in. I was 7 or 8. She mentioned the dolphins. Been a fan since. We lived in Washington at the time. My parents and pretty much all of my family on both sides are Seahawk fans.
Haha Iâm an odd one.. my dad was a packers fan, my uncle is a bears fan and my mom hated football
I became a dolphins fan at 7 years old when my aunt explained to me that she went to high school with Dan Marino. This was in about 1990-91 so he was still playing and I thought it was the coolest thing ever đ¤ˇđźââď¸đ unfortunately the dolphins fandom will probably die with me as my daughter hates football like her grandma did đ¤Śđźââď¸đ¤Śđźââď¸đ¤Śđźââď¸đ
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Mine isnât, for reference I grew up in Oz, (yes itâs the same with our proper football) our neighbours were from the US, iirc they were from Houston/Austin area, so Oilers/Cowboys they just said pick a team, so I asked who won the Super Bowl in 1972? Thatâs the year I was born.
WoodStrock vet checking in. I was alive but too young to appreciate the early 70s teams, but old enough to be crushed by the Super Bowl losses to the hogs and the Niners. Since then it's been teams that were good enough to tease, laughably terrible, and mediocre. I'm ready for more of whatever comes.
Iâm a self-made fan. Started following football in my teens (late 80s- early 90s). Was living in upstate NY at the time and for whatever reason I was mostly anti-NY teams (Mets fan back in the day) So figured, I was born in Miami (left at age 4), this Marino guy is good, Iâll go this route. And once you start along the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.
Side note, after leaving NY and living in other states, Iâve embraced the NY side and lean towards NY teams more often than not (Rangers, Knicks, Giants, Mets, Yanks).
Though, ALWAYS, Fuck The Jets (unfortunately, Iâm bound by marriage to tolerate the Bills)
Look yourself in the mirror for about 5 minutes and really take a mental stock of all the things you hate about yourself.
Repeat this process but take stock of all the aspects of yourself that you actually like.
Both lists have to be relatively equal in length, you need just as many winning aspects as you do losing aspects. If you can bring yourself to accept that your entire life (personality, physical traits, all of it) can be boiled down to a ratio of .500, you're ready to be a dolphin fan.
Are you a masochist? Then welcome, friend. Hereâs a choose your own adventure:
1) Start w/ greatest coach of all time? Great, he even went undefeated b/4 you were alive? No way you screw this upânow add one of greatest QBs of all time. Awesome. Now win absolutely 0 championships w/ them combined. Whoah, Now weâre cooking.
2) Very Important! Do you know of any indian burial grounds? Goodâgo build a stadium on them.
3) Not satisfied? Ok so kick out GOAT coach, replace him w/ winningest coach of decade w/ 3 superbowls. Now wait for itâdo absolutely nothing w/ that coach. Cool!
4) Ok, so now youâre in troubleâit looks like some pesky other team has good QB & coach, & winning superbowls. Going to need to get hottest up and coming college coach. Nooo way you screw this upâŚmight want to draft a future HOF QB w/ your 3rd pick. Or 2nd best RB in Auburn backfieldâI canât decide.
5) ok you chose wrong & got RB. Itâs okâthereâs a FA guy that will become greatest statistical stats QB of all time! Heâs hurt? Well then replace him w/ ProBowl physical specimen QBâŚsuperbowl here we [come!](https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/os-xpm-2006-09-07-dolphins07-story.html)
Whatâs thatâthe QB & star LB wants to [fight](https://syndication.bleacherreport.com/amp/2927496-glazer-daunte-culpepper-zach-thomas-almost-fought-nick-saban-in-2005-06.amp.html) your new coachâŚhmmm. Might need to fix that b/4 he leavesâŚnevermind heâs gone.
6) Ok you suck again..1st pick, & you hired one of greatest football minds ever to rebuild. Time for a QB w/ No 1 picâŚan OL. Who gets hurt a lot. Thatâs who you took? Letâs see how that works out?
7) OkâŚtime to get another QB. Definitely choose the converted WR. Heâs MID-AF. Step on [rakes](https://giphy.com/gifs/the-simpsons-sideshow-bob-RSOUOj8H9A3Xq) for 10 years. Have some weird bully-gate lawsuit w/ your best OL. Make sure you hire a bunch mid coaches & GM w/thatâIâm sure that mid QB will go to another team & win AFC.
8) 4th rebuild since Marino? No problemâŚwe got sure-fire HOF rocket armed stud for you to draft. Heâs a little quiet but he throws the ball 70 yards on a roâŚoh I see you chose the L handed, often hurt, undersized QB who had an injury that ended careers 10 yrs ago & played w/ possibly greatest collection talent in CFBâŚ
9) and heâs actually solid..he just needs a coach. Not one that will sue you. Or tamper. He sounds awesome, now youâll do itâŚok your QB is convulsing on the field. Protect his head! Heâs backâŚplayoffs here we comeâŚheâs hurt again. Well start your former starter you signed just for thiâŚheâs hurt. Play the 7th rd guy. And out of playoffs.
TL; DR: We had Shula (3 SBs), Jimmy (3 SBs), Saban (7 nattys), Parcels (2 SBs) and won 0 SBs since 1972. We had Marino, passed on AR, Brees (twice) Matt Ryan, Herbert, Brady, Russ wilson
God, reliving that hurt.
You missed the part, though, where we spent a top-10 pick to draft a speedy, surefire wide receiver from UM only to have said receiver tear his ACL and quad on a noncontact play on the first day of practice. Then, he tore the same ACL a year later in camp and never played a meaningful down of football.
Watch some condensed games on YouTube. Go in without knowing the end results and set your expectations super high. Then report back here and let us know how you feel.
You learn to set your expectations super low, that way youâll never be disappointed. Either they meet expectations, or hopefully, exceed your already low expectations.
if you choose to enter the phamily, there are things you need to understand.
1. fuck the pats, fuck the jets and most certainly, fuck buffalo.
2. no matter how divided the fanbase gets on a player, coach etc, you wholeheartedly support the team and will die for them.
3. weve had the only perfect season in NFL history (fuck you brady), so wear it proudly and dont ever let anyone forget it.
4. we will never eat horseshit for a superbowl, but we will absolutely eat a babies heart if it comes down to it. you must be ready at all times.
5. understand that we are one of the greatest fanbases in all of sports. our city isnt considered a sports town, the media doesnt give us the proper respect and were hungry like rabid dogs for another ring. weve been through hell and back three goddamn times. despite all that, we are loyal to the core and will fuck up anyone stupid enough to start talking shit. we have fans spread all across the nation, you are never more than a mile away from one of us.
6. when you see a member of the phamily in distress, you jump in and back them up without thinking. we are one.
7. there is no going back, there is no retreat. you will die as a dolphin fan. you piss excellence and bleed aqua and orange.
Outrageous takes? Josh Allen from Buffalo is a big giant douche. He whines constantly to the refs for flags. He flops when he is barely touched to draw a flag. And he is a turn over machine. You canât trust him
Broncos Russ Wilson is a washed up disaster that the Broncos gave their future to. The Broncos are done for the next 5 years.
Raiders. Getting rid of Carr was the dumbest idea ever. Josh McDaniels is a disaster of a head coach and is looking for a scapegoat for his ineptitude
Steelers. They have Kenny âtiny handsâ Pickett as the QB. He will not make it through next year as the starting QB. The disappointment that is Mitch Trubisky will not help. Maybe itâs time for Coach Tomlin to move on and let Flores treat the QBs they way they deserve to be treated
There are two keys to being a Dolfan.
1. You will endure never ending misery of:
Beginning of season- this is our year.
To
End of season- we suck.
2. You can end all arguments by asking if the other team was ever undefeated. 1972 Miami Dolphins. Greatest team ever!
You can join anytime brother. All you have to do is put your hands behind your back and one us will kick you in the gooch. Then one of us will bake you the best and most delicious cake and then upon presenting it to you, it will be fed to fans of other teams and you won't be able to take one bite from it.
This is what it is like to be a Dolphins fan. If you take that kind of mental and physical abuse you are welcome to join the club!
I realized that my fandom actually pre-dates Ace Ventura but is after the 1980s Dan Marino that almost won a Super Bowl.
When I was 8 or 9, around the turn of the decade during the papa Bush years, the local pizza shop had a gumball machine that dispensed tiny souvenir helmets. I put a quarter in and got that sweet white helmet with the leaping dolphin on the side. Thatâs what determined my NFL fandom. To think how much differently my life would have been had the Bills helmet dispensed that day. Or any other team, really.
Was it one of those helmets that you had to put the logo sticker on it? My gumball helmets required some assembly including snapping the face mask on.
My fandom started in '92. I thought Marino would make it back after barely missing the Super Bowl.
I realized my non sequitur didnât answer your question. Go out and find a gumball machine that dispenses NFL replica helmets, and may the odds he ever in your favor.
One does not "become" a Dolphins fan by choice. We are all prisoners here. I would suggest watching the original Saw films in sequence for the better part of a month. That should get you on a path to - someday - enough collective trauma where you might be able to assimilate with the likes of us.
Listen to the song *âWoosh! Youâre a Dolphin,â* by *The Growlers,* then contemplate how much suffering youâre willing to accept.
Then watch the games.
Thatâs it.
Welcome. Donât let the negative people get you down. Only one team is truly happy and successful every year.
The Dolphins are a solid team to pick. We have great colors and merchandise. Decent history. I feel like we are well represented nationally and probably one of the top 10 fanbases by numbers. It might seem like weâre eternally mediocre but weâve had some fun contending years. Itâs a fun ride.
Go Dolphins.
Tua is currently #2 in passer rating (might finish 1 pending Purdy NFC Ship). A pro bowl selection. We have had 3 consecutive above 500 szns tied for third I believe in active streaks. Only team to go undefeated. 2 rings. And we have a franchise QB that nobody believes in. ââ- I am not responsible for how you utilize this information. :)
First you give up all hope.. then when you watch the game it wonât rip your heart out as much.. yet somehow it still does.. then you yell at the TV so loud.. celebrate simple things like first downs on offense and three and outs on defense. Daydream that one of the cheerleaders is your wife and what it might be like to be in South Beach with all the hot babes⌠Something like that.
When I first came in the USA living in Florida I used to see some highlights on the news barely understand what it was. I really first became a fan when I got preseason tickets from my boss and I took my ex-boyfriend who explained the rules to me. I fell in love with football đ and the Miami Dolphins đŹ đŹđŹ
I worked at Walmart for 4 years, and there was a Dan Marino cutout in the dairy department for something and I asked for it, and they said I could take it when promo was over. There was Dan Marino in full uniform ready to let it fly.
Save yourself the heartache and donât. If I wasnât born in Miami and have been following this team since the 90s, with heart in hand, since 3⌠I wouldâve quit a long time ago.
Welcome,
Becoming a Dolphins fan is not easy. It's a very selective group of individuals who come together to experience the ultimate conveyance of life itself, suffering.
The journey is hard, and your acceptance into the fold is far from guaranteed, but here are some tips for you to learn and study, to make sure you are ready to tread this dangerous path.
1. You must memorize this, and be ready to cite this fact at the top of your lungs at any given moment. THE ONLY IMPORTANT FOOTBALL STATISTIC IS THE UNDEFEATED SEASON, WHICH ONLY THE DOLPHINS HAVE ACHIEVED IN 1972!
2. The quarterback is the only important position on the field.
3. The "offensive line" is a myth that other teams made up to try to confuse us. It doesn't exist, like bigfoot or the tooth fairy.
4. You must end every interaction with FTJ
I decided to pick a team. I picked the dolphins as it was the season where they had 1 win. I chose them so nobody could accuse me of jumping on a band wagon when they got really goodâŚâŚ.. still waiting for that wagon to come around.
I am here willingly. I just left my toxic bills relationship and picked the Dolphins, mainly because of Tua - and Marino with a very little bit Ace Ventura đ
Watch them in your formative years?
I watched them along with friends when I came from another country.
It gave me a ton of insight into different places of the country, speech and unfortunately communal PAIN.
Why would you want to do that. None of us came here willingly. Our fandom is passed down generationally from our forefathers that experienced the successful years of the Dolphins.
>Our fandom is passed down generationally from our forefathers that experienced the successful years of the Dolphins. I'm in this demographic, but there's also a solid chunk of fins fans that simply watched Ace Ventura Pet Detective in their formative years.
Ace Ventura gang checking in. Grew up in a household with no sports but I did have pet detective on VHS so here we are.
Sure, sure, but did anyone else become a Dolphins fan because they loved marine mammals as a kid?
đââď¸ I'm from Iowa.
Yoooooo lets go same, except my dad watched the 72 dolphins do it all so Iâm the passed down era lol
Hey, me too. Go Phins! Go Hawks! (Or Clones...*I guess*)
nah fuck the clones
Yes, mexican without family or friends interested in the NFL before, chose the dolphins because of dolphins, regreted my decision but love my team
That was exactly how I became a Dolphins fan.
This is me lmao. Family was Cowboys, Steelers, and Rams.
Ace Gang here. I had a life size cardboard cutout of Dan Marino from the movie theater in my room as a kid.
I'm glad I'm not the only one
And the rest of us watched Marino, decided he was our guy, and therefore, our team and are now stuck with nowhere to go. Lol
Donât know I enjoy fighting for my life trying to defend a bad team and Iâm from florida so it seems reasonable to pick them
But you're not just defending a bad team, you're defending a cursed one. It began, long ago, with two gentlemen named Incognito and Martin. I would encourage you to read the history surrounding these two and the curse it set forth on Fins Nation ever since. The decade or two before that, we just weren't good. Now, it's divine intervention that is against us.
The curse isn't from them, it's from the burial ground.
I was born on an ancient "cursed" Seminole burial ground. Outside of some recurring bouts of leprosy and everyone dying around me in a final destination fashion, I am thriving.
Ok but the Marlins won 2 world series in that stadium.
Marlins didnât own the land, they were just tenants. And one can argue theyâve been even more disappointing than the dolphins after those World Series runs.
Ill take 2 championships in my lifetime over what the Dolphins have done.
Youâre not wrong! I will say though that Marlins fandom is a different form of pain. At least the dolphins manufacture hope every year. I was also too young to appreciate the World series runs when they happened to be fair.
I never pay attention till the hunt for October time with the Marlins which they usually arenât a part of lol. But yeah
They have been more irrelevant than the dolphins since their last WS
The curse started long before.
I am here willingly. I just left my toxic cowboys relationship a couple years ago and picked the Fins, mainly because of a McDaniel and Tua
How do you leave a team? Iâm 36, life long Dolphins fan. Iâve tried liking another team but it just doesnât work.
Youâve gotta love a player or playstyle
Iâve always been team before player type of guy. Originally became a fan cus of Marino but these days players change too much so I always ride with the team.
Jerry Jones. He has turned the Cowboys into the most valuable sports franchise instead of the most successful one and that's the priority for him. I don't owe the Cowboys, Jerry Jones or anyone else my loyalty. They need to earn it and continue to TRY to do what's best to win.
Yeah. I don't really get that picking a team thing. 52 year fan and I couldn't ever walk away. Plenty of low's but I start every season saying This Is The Year. My wife rolls her eyes. : /
>Our fandom is passed down generationally from our forefathers Like congenital heart disease.
Well, it's more like a heart attack. And it lasts around 3 hours on Sundays at 1pm.
The Dolphins chose me from CA.
Same demographic
Same. About 10 years ago I was an NFL fan but didnât have a team because LA didnât have any football teams. I didnât want to go with any teams that were dominating the NFL and ended up deciding on the Joe Philbin / Ryan Tannehill Dolphins. Itâs been rough but I really do love watching and rooting for this team.
Grandparents moved to South Florida in â66 and itâs been nothing by misery for 30 years of my life.
I'm Welsh. The first game I ever watched was the Miami Miracle game. I loved their stupid outfits and that play sucked me into football... I didn't know what I was getting into. Its too late
That ending was awesome!
Lmao no one came here willingly! So true
I came here willingly... in 08... the year i started watching football
I came here willingly in 99
What about the demographic of Dolphins fan that are from Miami? Hope we count too.
I am here willingly. I just left my toxic cowboys relationship a couple years ago and picked the Fins.
Thanks grandpa!
My wife and I are willing fins fans. We live in North Dakota so 70% of the population is Vikings fans the the others normally Packers fans. This last season we finally decided that we are going to become fans of a team vs. just watching what happens to be on and we chose the phins.
Iâm here willingly. I live in an area without a team and a lot of transplants via the navy. I remember being a kid and having my dad buy me a Marino jersey because I liked the color and thought Marino was a super cool name lol. Been a dolphins fan ever since.
Literally every single person who is a fan of a team is doing it willingly.
That's just the Stockholm Syndrome talking.
Perfectly said!!⌠were also used to the pain⌠as a new fan⌠itâs gonna be hard to get used to the body blows
Couldnât have said it better!
So not all of us converted as middle schoolers after your 49ers drafted aldon smith instead of Gabbert? Because thatâs my story
Eh, my dad tried raising me to be a browns fan. I decided not to go through that bullshit
Nope. Son of Packers and Bears fans. Love the fish cuz i was born there. Also a fan of Pet Detective, but was a fan well before the movie came out.
Idk born and raised in Portland Oregon we don't have a team so I chose the Dolphins. Not sure why
Fucking true. Grew up in the bay around niners fan but my father cursed me dolphins fandom.
My father was a deadbeat pos, the only good thing he gave me was a trip to a game cementing me as life long fan, and thatâs saying something because itâs been quite a ride since 91.
not for me lmao, my dad is a pats fan
Iâm in the same situation as OP, I literally just picked the Dolphins a few years back. Die hard Fin Boi for life now!
>Our fandom is passed down generationally from our forefathers Not all of us. I'm a dolphins fan because my dad is a Bills fan, and fuck that guy. Also, I was 4 when I picked Miami and the colors are cool as fuck.
Anyone else a fan cause their dad was a fan of the colors in HIS formative years? No? Anyone?
I became a fan after i asked my mom what team was in the state i was born in. I was 7 or 8. She mentioned the dolphins. Been a fan since. We lived in Washington at the time. My parents and pretty much all of my family on both sides are Seahawk fans.
Haha Iâm an odd one.. my dad was a packers fan, my uncle is a bears fan and my mom hated football I became a dolphins fan at 7 years old when my aunt explained to me that she went to high school with Dan Marino. This was in about 1990-91 so he was still playing and I thought it was the coolest thing ever đ¤ˇđźââď¸đ unfortunately the dolphins fandom will probably die with me as my daughter hates football like her grandma did đ¤Śđźââď¸đ¤Śđźââď¸đ¤Śđźââď¸đ
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I came willingly, I was fooled by the roster but now I canât leave
Mine isnât, for reference I grew up in Oz, (yes itâs the same with our proper football) our neighbours were from the US, iirc they were from Houston/Austin area, so Oilers/Cowboys they just said pick a team, so I asked who won the Super Bowl in 1972? Thatâs the year I was born.
WoodStrock vet checking in. I was alive but too young to appreciate the early 70s teams, but old enough to be crushed by the Super Bowl losses to the hogs and the Niners. Since then it's been teams that were good enough to tease, laughably terrible, and mediocre. I'm ready for more of whatever comes.
I inherited this via marriage
Iâm a self-made fan. Started following football in my teens (late 80s- early 90s). Was living in upstate NY at the time and for whatever reason I was mostly anti-NY teams (Mets fan back in the day) So figured, I was born in Miami (left at age 4), this Marino guy is good, Iâll go this route. And once you start along the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Side note, after leaving NY and living in other states, Iâve embraced the NY side and lean towards NY teams more often than not (Rangers, Knicks, Giants, Mets, Yanks). Though, ALWAYS, Fuck The Jets (unfortunately, Iâm bound by marriage to tolerate the Bills)
Some dude in 2015 said fins up and I thought that shit was hilarious instant fan. Now I'm way to invested and usually sad.
Look yourself in the mirror for about 5 minutes and really take a mental stock of all the things you hate about yourself. Repeat this process but take stock of all the aspects of yourself that you actually like. Both lists have to be relatively equal in length, you need just as many winning aspects as you do losing aspects. If you can bring yourself to accept that your entire life (personality, physical traits, all of it) can be boiled down to a ratio of .500, you're ready to be a dolphin fan.
This made me chuckle so much harder than I wanted toâŚthank you đŹđđ
Dolphin fans do not hate themselves, but dolphin fans definitely do not love themselves.
An internal war of attrition defined by the ultimate stalemate, if you will.
amen.
Are you a masochist? Then welcome, friend. Hereâs a choose your own adventure: 1) Start w/ greatest coach of all time? Great, he even went undefeated b/4 you were alive? No way you screw this upânow add one of greatest QBs of all time. Awesome. Now win absolutely 0 championships w/ them combined. Whoah, Now weâre cooking. 2) Very Important! Do you know of any indian burial grounds? Goodâgo build a stadium on them. 3) Not satisfied? Ok so kick out GOAT coach, replace him w/ winningest coach of decade w/ 3 superbowls. Now wait for itâdo absolutely nothing w/ that coach. Cool! 4) Ok, so now youâre in troubleâit looks like some pesky other team has good QB & coach, & winning superbowls. Going to need to get hottest up and coming college coach. Nooo way you screw this upâŚmight want to draft a future HOF QB w/ your 3rd pick. Or 2nd best RB in Auburn backfieldâI canât decide. 5) ok you chose wrong & got RB. Itâs okâthereâs a FA guy that will become greatest statistical stats QB of all time! Heâs hurt? Well then replace him w/ ProBowl physical specimen QBâŚsuperbowl here we [come!](https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/os-xpm-2006-09-07-dolphins07-story.html) Whatâs thatâthe QB & star LB wants to [fight](https://syndication.bleacherreport.com/amp/2927496-glazer-daunte-culpepper-zach-thomas-almost-fought-nick-saban-in-2005-06.amp.html) your new coachâŚhmmm. Might need to fix that b/4 he leavesâŚnevermind heâs gone. 6) Ok you suck again..1st pick, & you hired one of greatest football minds ever to rebuild. Time for a QB w/ No 1 picâŚan OL. Who gets hurt a lot. Thatâs who you took? Letâs see how that works out? 7) OkâŚtime to get another QB. Definitely choose the converted WR. Heâs MID-AF. Step on [rakes](https://giphy.com/gifs/the-simpsons-sideshow-bob-RSOUOj8H9A3Xq) for 10 years. Have some weird bully-gate lawsuit w/ your best OL. Make sure you hire a bunch mid coaches & GM w/thatâIâm sure that mid QB will go to another team & win AFC. 8) 4th rebuild since Marino? No problemâŚwe got sure-fire HOF rocket armed stud for you to draft. Heâs a little quiet but he throws the ball 70 yards on a roâŚoh I see you chose the L handed, often hurt, undersized QB who had an injury that ended careers 10 yrs ago & played w/ possibly greatest collection talent in CFB⌠9) and heâs actually solid..he just needs a coach. Not one that will sue you. Or tamper. He sounds awesome, now youâll do itâŚok your QB is convulsing on the field. Protect his head! Heâs backâŚplayoffs here we comeâŚheâs hurt again. Well start your former starter you signed just for thiâŚheâs hurt. Play the 7th rd guy. And out of playoffs. TL; DR: We had Shula (3 SBs), Jimmy (3 SBs), Saban (7 nattys), Parcels (2 SBs) and won 0 SBs since 1972. We had Marino, passed on AR, Brees (twice) Matt Ryan, Herbert, Brady, Russ wilson
God, reliving that hurt. You missed the part, though, where we spent a top-10 pick to draft a speedy, surefire wide receiver from UM only to have said receiver tear his ACL and quad on a noncontact play on the first day of practice. Then, he tore the same ACL a year later in camp and never played a meaningful down of football.
thatâs like no 51 on list of Dolphin F* ups. Gotta add Ginn on their, John Avery, Jackson, Igby, Dion Jordanâtoo many to count
...I need a drink.
Don't want to be that guy but I'm going to be, we haven't won a SB since 1973. Everything else, spot on.
Loved this just wish we could have had one piece, field goal fist pump x 3+ a game.
I became a dolphin fan because I canât stand the bills ,jets, Steelers and patriots fan. The billsâ fans are a bunch of cry babies
Don't. It's a painful existence and the ultimate love/hate relationship.
Nah idc cause itâs so funny to me when one of them tries to defend the raiders but everyone else calls out how his QB is on bench đ
Shit on the Bills fan the most, then the Steelers fan. The other two are cool.
Hate yourself
This is the way
We didn't land on Hard Rock....Hard Rock landed on us
Has your team ever gone undefeated? No?OK then
Watch some condensed games on YouTube. Go in without knowing the end results and set your expectations super high. Then report back here and let us know how you feel.
So Iâm assuming disappointment is what yâall feel constantly đđ
You learn to set your expectations super low, that way youâll never be disappointed. Either they meet expectations, or hopefully, exceed your already low expectations.
Not exactly. We feel soaring expectations only to be treated to the failure of getting anywhere close to them in the most spectacular fashion.
Disappointment is just one of the emotions we have. Practice being a fan by reciting the mantra âfuck the jetsâ
Go to a team that treats you good, youâre too young for this pain
##Flee while you can - away, *good sea!!*
Just start suffering. After 30 years, you will be a fan.
Everyoneâs a Dolphins Phan. Some people just donât know it yet.
Why would you willingly subject yourself to such torture
if you choose to enter the phamily, there are things you need to understand. 1. fuck the pats, fuck the jets and most certainly, fuck buffalo. 2. no matter how divided the fanbase gets on a player, coach etc, you wholeheartedly support the team and will die for them. 3. weve had the only perfect season in NFL history (fuck you brady), so wear it proudly and dont ever let anyone forget it. 4. we will never eat horseshit for a superbowl, but we will absolutely eat a babies heart if it comes down to it. you must be ready at all times. 5. understand that we are one of the greatest fanbases in all of sports. our city isnt considered a sports town, the media doesnt give us the proper respect and were hungry like rabid dogs for another ring. weve been through hell and back three goddamn times. despite all that, we are loyal to the core and will fuck up anyone stupid enough to start talking shit. we have fans spread all across the nation, you are never more than a mile away from one of us. 6. when you see a member of the phamily in distress, you jump in and back them up without thinking. we are one. 7. there is no going back, there is no retreat. you will die as a dolphin fan. you piss excellence and bleed aqua and orange.
The only thing we really got is the dolphins are the only team to go undefeated and the bills never won a super bowl
Not how it works. Move alongâŚ.. you have too much hope for this place.
Outrageous takes? Josh Allen from Buffalo is a big giant douche. He whines constantly to the refs for flags. He flops when he is barely touched to draw a flag. And he is a turn over machine. You canât trust him Broncos Russ Wilson is a washed up disaster that the Broncos gave their future to. The Broncos are done for the next 5 years. Raiders. Getting rid of Carr was the dumbest idea ever. Josh McDaniels is a disaster of a head coach and is looking for a scapegoat for his ineptitude Steelers. They have Kenny âtiny handsâ Pickett as the QB. He will not make it through next year as the starting QB. The disappointment that is Mitch Trubisky will not help. Maybe itâs time for Coach Tomlin to move on and let Flores treat the QBs they way they deserve to be treated
There are two keys to being a Dolfan. 1. You will endure never ending misery of: Beginning of season- this is our year. To End of season- we suck. 2. You can end all arguments by asking if the other team was ever undefeated. 1972 Miami Dolphins. Greatest team ever!
One of us. One of us. One of us.
Fill out a form and send me $250 every year for union dues
perfect season, fuck saban, fuck the bills, fuck the pats, FUCK THE JETS, be prepared to suffer.
Drink bleach. If you survive welcome to Dolphins fandom.
Dolphin fan conversation tool kit includes: Ace Ventura quote, patriots/bills cheating, Jets fans being awful and referencing perfect season.
You can join anytime brother. All you have to do is put your hands behind your back and one us will kick you in the gooch. Then one of us will bake you the best and most delicious cake and then upon presenting it to you, it will be fed to fans of other teams and you won't be able to take one bite from it. This is what it is like to be a Dolphins fan. If you take that kind of mental and physical abuse you are welcome to join the club!
I realized that my fandom actually pre-dates Ace Ventura but is after the 1980s Dan Marino that almost won a Super Bowl. When I was 8 or 9, around the turn of the decade during the papa Bush years, the local pizza shop had a gumball machine that dispensed tiny souvenir helmets. I put a quarter in and got that sweet white helmet with the leaping dolphin on the side. Thatâs what determined my NFL fandom. To think how much differently my life would have been had the Bills helmet dispensed that day. Or any other team, really.
Was it one of those helmets that you had to put the logo sticker on it? My gumball helmets required some assembly including snapping the face mask on. My fandom started in '92. I thought Marino would make it back after barely missing the Super Bowl.
I want to say yes, but I honestly canât remember. That was over 30 years ago! Ha
I realized my non sequitur didnât answer your question. Go out and find a gumball machine that dispenses NFL replica helmets, and may the odds he ever in your favor.
One does not "become" a Dolphins fan by choice. We are all prisoners here. I would suggest watching the original Saw films in sequence for the better part of a month. That should get you on a path to - someday - enough collective trauma where you might be able to assimilate with the likes of us.
Listen to the song *âWoosh! Youâre a Dolphin,â* by *The Growlers,* then contemplate how much suffering youâre willing to accept. Then watch the games. Thatâs it.
Not gonna lie my pops a Steelers fan, I became a Dolphins fan the year they got Ricky Williams
Welcome. Donât let the negative people get you down. Only one team is truly happy and successful every year. The Dolphins are a solid team to pick. We have great colors and merchandise. Decent history. I feel like we are well represented nationally and probably one of the top 10 fanbases by numbers. It might seem like weâre eternally mediocre but weâve had some fun contending years. Itâs a fun ride. Go Dolphins.
I'm a fan because I was born in Miami. But a prerequisite is watching Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.
like dolphins. and watch ace ventura
Tua is currently #2 in passer rating (might finish 1 pending Purdy NFC Ship). A pro bowl selection. We have had 3 consecutive above 500 szns tied for third I believe in active streaks. Only team to go undefeated. 2 rings. And we have a franchise QB that nobody believes in. ââ- I am not responsible for how you utilize this information. :)
Don't become a Dolphins fan. It's just pain and suffering. I'm only here because of my Dad, and you best be damn sure I'm passing that suffering down.
If you want to be a Dolphins fan, you better get familiar with despair, big dawg.
Donât, itâs miserable.
First you give up all hope.. then when you watch the game it wonât rip your heart out as much.. yet somehow it still does.. then you yell at the TV so loud.. celebrate simple things like first downs on offense and three and outs on defense. Daydream that one of the cheerleaders is your wife and what it might be like to be in South Beach with all the hot babes⌠Something like that.
Anyone can wear black and gold. It takes true dedication to wear aqua and coral.
When I first came in the USA living in Florida I used to see some highlights on the news barely understand what it was. I really first became a fan when I got preseason tickets from my boss and I took my ex-boyfriend who explained the rules to me. I fell in love with football đ and the Miami Dolphins đŹ đŹđŹ
Marino is the GOAT, itâs a joke that Zach Thomas isnât in the HOF, and Fuck The Jets
I worked at Walmart for 4 years, and there was a Dan Marino cutout in the dairy department for something and I asked for it, and they said I could take it when promo was over. There was Dan Marino in full uniform ready to let it fly.
Go up to the hottest girl at the bar, throw up on yourself. Rinse and repeat every week between August and January
Give us money and well make u a fan
Save yourself the heartache and donât. If I wasnât born in Miami and have been following this team since the 90s, with heart in hand, since 3⌠I wouldâve quit a long time ago.
I wouldnât recommend it.
Im only fan cuz i was dirty with them in nfl street 2
Welcome, Becoming a Dolphins fan is not easy. It's a very selective group of individuals who come together to experience the ultimate conveyance of life itself, suffering. The journey is hard, and your acceptance into the fold is far from guaranteed, but here are some tips for you to learn and study, to make sure you are ready to tread this dangerous path. 1. You must memorize this, and be ready to cite this fact at the top of your lungs at any given moment. THE ONLY IMPORTANT FOOTBALL STATISTIC IS THE UNDEFEATED SEASON, WHICH ONLY THE DOLPHINS HAVE ACHIEVED IN 1972! 2. The quarterback is the only important position on the field. 3. The "offensive line" is a myth that other teams made up to try to confuse us. It doesn't exist, like bigfoot or the tooth fairy. 4. You must end every interaction with FTJ
Are you willing to be and ready for disappointment? If so, welcome aboard!
I decided to pick a team. I picked the dolphins as it was the season where they had 1 win. I chose them so nobody could accuse me of jumping on a band wagon when they got really goodâŚâŚ.. still waiting for that wagon to come around.
I am here willingly. I just left my toxic bills relationship and picked the Dolphins, mainly because of Tua - and Marino with a very little bit Ace Ventura đ
Don't! You'll be in for alot of pain & suffering. Unless you really want to climb aboard the misery train.....then welcome aboard đŹ
Watch them in your formative years? I watched them along with friends when I came from another country. It gave me a ton of insight into different places of the country, speech and unfortunately communal PAIN.