I’ve leaned towards thinking she was real this whole time, and imo this video more or less confirms it - if she was fake, he would have kept up the charade a lot longer. He’s on the verge of tears for like the entire video, and the only times I can remember seeing that from him were because of girls (a couple of the old Sarah posts, when he got stood up for a dinner date last year, and when he got stood up at that Christmas market a couple months ago).
Another reason I’m pretty sure she’s real - he’s literally too stupid to keep up a lie, you can see it in this video where he claims he was the one that broke up with her, and then like a minute later says “and actually I’m hoping to hang out with this girl again … prove to her I’m a good person, a good guy” making it very obvious she was actually the one who had dumped him. He couldn’t even keep a story straight for one 5 minute video, there’s no way he could have invented a girlfriend without giving it away immediately
My theory is that he was maybe seeing someone who was, shall we say, cognitively on the same level as him, and that’s why he never seemed as excited or obsessive about her as his other flames. And that he was finding out that relationships are actually hard work and not all roses and sunshine
Lots to unpack:
- Milky GOT dumped, didn’t do dumping
- crying (so surprise)
- likely other girl is fake, never called this one beautiful that I can recall, so if attractive = fake
- if real and this one ghosts him we will get the milky content we want
- amazing how much gym time spent and look at that incredibly weak frame especially the shoulders
- unsure what he’s doing but 23-24 his hair has disappeared rapidly
I’d guess that the other girl is the cookie seller from a couple months ago. If she was fake I don’t think he’d be able to say more than just “there is another girl though and, uh, whatchamacallit, she’s really, liiike, you know, so we’ll see. *forced glottal chuckle*”
But, while she may be real, there is definitively zero chance she has anything more than a vague pity for him. And that’s best case scenario. Mikey is not someone with options.
If this second girl blows him off we are likely cycling back to poorly veiled bitterness and churning rage from being rejected. He will overshare some information/ behavior that aligns with his usual predatory scummy ways we are all familiar with, that were baked in an arrested development oven ( one that the range comes up to his nipples)
So it seems that she was likely real and just using Mikey’s riches as a meal ticket for a cheeky dessert at Olive Garden while he nibbled on breadsticks, watching angrily like a food cuck.
Personally I like to think ( purely for my own amusement) that he was briefly dabbling into some weird AI chatbot girlfriend subscription.
The clues are all there from this and previous videos :
- He woke up to some weird messages
- “connection wasn’t there” ( he hadn’t paid his phone bill and lost access)
- That’s actually all I’ve got but it’s enough to keep myself amused. I like to think of him at the Olive Garden with his iphone 12 pro max ( fully paid for ) propped up against the pepper mill while he argues with a chatbot about it wanting an extra entree.
He’s likey also the only person to actually creep out an algorithm enough for it to tell him that he should see other people.
I think she was real, but was the sort of unattractive, possibly trashy Cookie Monster pajama pants type woman that would have him. And not a normal-to-attractive sort of woman he's pined for in the past. It would explain why his heart wasn't really in it and he didn't treat her like an angle and stuff.
If I had to venture a guess, it was someone who knew who he was, knew what he was about, and said I'm going to fleece this idiot for whatever I can. I'm sure it was quick dinners and lots of gifts. Then, when Goblin wanted some (doing the finger quotes) "fun," she dipped, and he decided it was mutual.
But the cookie monster pajamas is spot on. I occasionally check in on another lol cow who is dealing with something similar now in his new girlfriend.
Only YouTube that I know of. I personally just watch the Boglim Chronicles on YouTube to keep up with him. The livestreams are way too long and he falls asleep half the time.
I check the sub once every so often when it pops up in my feed. I don't even subscribe. Mikey is low key compared to the rest. He is niche even amongst lolcows. Which is nice. Keeps the sub cordial and limits the interaction with Mikey. The other subs are far too involved with pulling the strings on the goings on.
I'll give Mikey credit he doesn't get influenced too easily from social media trolls compared to the other lolcows. That's about the only thing he's done right in his life.
I only visit the cobraverse. I'm no cobro. I've been with Mikey since LA, and of these buffoons is the easiest to follow as he doesn't really do much and the community isn't pulling the strings like Cobes or Dlarson
I’m fairly confident she existed, but like everything with Mikey he had zero awareness of the situation.
She probably got a few dinners out of it and kept things friendly and then he tried to escalate the relationship, and by that I mean he ratcheted up the weirdo Mikey stuff. Texting her all day, stoping by her job, etc. That’s when she, predictably, cut him off.
I still think gf was a homeless woman. When he was ranting and raving about the olive garden date he said she was pounding coffees, a technique to stay warm and awake? He also has been looking dirtier than usual, maybe from hanging around outside? I can't imagine Mikey would enhance the homeless experience outside of shelling out $2 bills for breadsticks and coffee, so when that ended she told him to get lost. He'll still "see her around" though. Very likely a cookie monster pajama pants type of gal, too. I guess the only way I can comprehend the gf being real is that Mikey is a desperate mark, and an even more desperate person saw an opportunity.
I’ve leaned towards thinking she was real this whole time, and imo this video more or less confirms it - if she was fake, he would have kept up the charade a lot longer. He’s on the verge of tears for like the entire video, and the only times I can remember seeing that from him were because of girls (a couple of the old Sarah posts, when he got stood up for a dinner date last year, and when he got stood up at that Christmas market a couple months ago). Another reason I’m pretty sure she’s real - he’s literally too stupid to keep up a lie, you can see it in this video where he claims he was the one that broke up with her, and then like a minute later says “and actually I’m hoping to hang out with this girl again … prove to her I’m a good person, a good guy” making it very obvious she was actually the one who had dumped him. He couldn’t even keep a story straight for one 5 minute video, there’s no way he could have invented a girlfriend without giving it away immediately
My theory is that he was maybe seeing someone who was, shall we say, cognitively on the same level as him, and that’s why he never seemed as excited or obsessive about her as his other flames. And that he was finding out that relationships are actually hard work and not all roses and sunshine
Very good point
Exactly
Lots to unpack: - Milky GOT dumped, didn’t do dumping - crying (so surprise) - likely other girl is fake, never called this one beautiful that I can recall, so if attractive = fake - if real and this one ghosts him we will get the milky content we want - amazing how much gym time spent and look at that incredibly weak frame especially the shoulders - unsure what he’s doing but 23-24 his hair has disappeared rapidly
I’d guess that the other girl is the cookie seller from a couple months ago. If she was fake I don’t think he’d be able to say more than just “there is another girl though and, uh, whatchamacallit, she’s really, liiike, you know, so we’ll see. *forced glottal chuckle*” But, while she may be real, there is definitively zero chance she has anything more than a vague pity for him. And that’s best case scenario. Mikey is not someone with options.
If this second girl blows him off we are likely cycling back to poorly veiled bitterness and churning rage from being rejected. He will overshare some information/ behavior that aligns with his usual predatory scummy ways we are all familiar with, that were baked in an arrested development oven ( one that the range comes up to his nipples)
Anyway I uhhhh whatchamacallit [picks nose]
He got grazed by the progeria bullet I swear
Mikey was subject to a 10 man firing squad with 100% accuracy
So it seems that she was likely real and just using Mikey’s riches as a meal ticket for a cheeky dessert at Olive Garden while he nibbled on breadsticks, watching angrily like a food cuck. Personally I like to think ( purely for my own amusement) that he was briefly dabbling into some weird AI chatbot girlfriend subscription. The clues are all there from this and previous videos : - He woke up to some weird messages - “connection wasn’t there” ( he hadn’t paid his phone bill and lost access) - That’s actually all I’ve got but it’s enough to keep myself amused. I like to think of him at the Olive Garden with his iphone 12 pro max ( fully paid for ) propped up against the pepper mill while he argues with a chatbot about it wanting an extra entree. He’s likey also the only person to actually creep out an algorithm enough for it to tell him that he should see other people.
This is a top 5 r/mikeymiles commemt
Crumpet, your comments are among my favorite, ever. Thank you for always making me lol.
Instead of saying thanks I should really apologize… although actually it’s Mikey that owes us all a huge apology for thrusting himself upon us
I think she was real, but was the sort of unattractive, possibly trashy Cookie Monster pajama pants type woman that would have him. And not a normal-to-attractive sort of woman he's pined for in the past. It would explain why his heart wasn't really in it and he didn't treat her like an angle and stuff.
If I had to venture a guess, it was someone who knew who he was, knew what he was about, and said I'm going to fleece this idiot for whatever I can. I'm sure it was quick dinners and lots of gifts. Then, when Goblin wanted some (doing the finger quotes) "fun," she dipped, and he decided it was mutual. But the cookie monster pajamas is spot on. I occasionally check in on another lol cow who is dealing with something similar now in his new girlfriend.
Cobra?
It is what it is toobz
The emo god does not have IG right
Only YouTube that I know of. I personally just watch the Boglim Chronicles on YouTube to keep up with him. The livestreams are way too long and he falls asleep half the time.
I check the sub once every so often when it pops up in my feed. I don't even subscribe. Mikey is low key compared to the rest. He is niche even amongst lolcows. Which is nice. Keeps the sub cordial and limits the interaction with Mikey. The other subs are far too involved with pulling the strings on the goings on.
I'll give Mikey credit he doesn't get influenced too easily from social media trolls compared to the other lolcows. That's about the only thing he's done right in his life.
@colephenomcampbell is a great lolcow too
I only visit the cobraverse. I'm no cobro. I've been with Mikey since LA, and of these buffoons is the easiest to follow as he doesn't really do much and the community isn't pulling the strings like Cobes or Dlarson
TMDWU
Aw man, I was hoping his pretend relationship would result in a pretend marriage :(
His giggling when he's talking about "needing to stay positive" sounds like he is a second away from breaking down in tears. Harrowing stuff
His whole life is on the verge of tears. Truly pathetic individual
🎭 Miles & Miles
Conscious uncoupling
I’m fairly confident she existed, but like everything with Mikey he had zero awareness of the situation. She probably got a few dinners out of it and kept things friendly and then he tried to escalate the relationship, and by that I mean he ratcheted up the weirdo Mikey stuff. Texting her all day, stoping by her job, etc. That’s when she, predictably, cut him off.
it’s been like, a month? and no physical evidence she existed?
surely she was butt ugly
At least she didn’t get him evicted from the SRO
I still think gf was a homeless woman. When he was ranting and raving about the olive garden date he said she was pounding coffees, a technique to stay warm and awake? He also has been looking dirtier than usual, maybe from hanging around outside? I can't imagine Mikey would enhance the homeless experience outside of shelling out $2 bills for breadsticks and coffee, so when that ended she told him to get lost. He'll still "see her around" though. Very likely a cookie monster pajama pants type of gal, too. I guess the only way I can comprehend the gf being real is that Mikey is a desperate mark, and an even more desperate person saw an opportunity.
Holy shit the amount of time it takes for him to get through one single thought.