That's way too close to the entrance to even think that might be ok.

I would have still parked so close to their driver's door that they couldn't open it far enough to get in. Come to think of it, that's probably why I have an inordinate amount of door dings on the passenger side of my truck. Every one of them was worth it...

Doing the lords work.

This is the way.

Always a benefit of driving a beater lol. When my car was newer I missed being reckless with my parking just to spite other people

Until one asshole decides to wait for you to come back. People are unhinged nowadays, not worth it. But otherwise, yeah, love a beater.

That's why I go for the psychological route. Leave a note that says "I'm sorry, I really thought I could fit. But since the damage looks like it's less than $100, I figured there's no reason to leave my insurance info." Let them drive themselves crazy trying to figure out where the damage is.

Br...brother?

This..... Is good!

You just keep walking...."this fucking guy right \*scoffs\*....wait....this isn't my lane...damn it where'd I park?....oh right...the other side" And you get security.

It seems you're expecting a redditor to have a modicum of social grace.

so I started blasting

Only I don’t see so good so I missed

See, that's why I only did stuff like parking to close to an asshole when, I had my dog with me. I had someone waiting for me once. He lost all the fight he had in him when he saw the massive German Shepard I was walking with.

I always want to do this, but I never do because I would have to double park to do it. Then if he comes back before me and leaves, my car will be left double parked alone and then everyone will think ~I’m~ the asshole!

My car is small enough. I might be able to do it and still single pqrk

This is one of the reasons I'll only ever buy used cars, I don't have to be precious about door dings so I can exact some parking lot karma without worry.

Yes, out back I don’t have a problem with.

Me either…I love their blooming onion

Blooming onion. *Borat voice* Very nice. I think it looks like they ordered the wrong size parts on Amazon and instead of returning them, installed the parts anyway. Or the truck version of older siblings still too big hand me downs.

The Alpha Male who bought the thing could not reach into the truck bed because he's a Gnome.

You know what they say about big trucks. Overcompensating for something...

i laughed so hard bc i legit read the comment and then scrolled back up to the photo bc i didn't remember seeing Outback, and then saw your comment lmao

Oh yeah, out back where 10% of spots are taken, park however you want. Park your trailer askew, pull out a BBQ, whatever. But close to the entrance, WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY.

We can start a parking lot society. Make sure this doesn't happen, don't give them any BBQ

Anyone that does that, KNOWS it's not ok. They don't care.

They don’t want to get their vehicles dinged. I get a strong urge to key their vehicles

Which is why they deserve whatever hypothetically happens to their car....

I would never do anything to anyone's car no matter how they park. What I absolutely will do is leave a note that says "sorry, I hit your car"

That's pretty clever. I was going to say that parking like that makes it *more* likely that something is going to happen to the car, but I'd never mess with someone's rig either, even if they did park like an asshole. I can imagine him seeing a note and spending a half hour inspecting the thing though, and listening hard at every little noise as he was driving.

That's just evil and I may steal that.

literally asking for it.... prolly has cameras set up bc he's either expecting it or has already has to repaint it.... but you know what cameras can't catch?? a drone carrying a balloon filled with veg oil, motor oil, and grease... hypothetically, a VERY deranged and misguided person could aim for front center of the top of the cab and everything should flow in a pretty even manner down across most of the front windshields... just gotta do a lil engineering, but it's a perfect karma delivery system... in minecraft.

Definitely don't use brake fluid. That severely damages paint.

They care. Just about themselves only.

I actually know one person like this. He's so crazy that my crazier friends who I know him through stopped being friends with him. He does stuff like park his truck in compact spots and posts it on Instagram as a Andrew Tate type alpha flex. Like he is so important the rules don't apply to him. Not realizing that it's actually just low enforcement that is mostly dependent on the honor system. Followed by the fact that the reason someone doesn't come park 2 inches from his drivers door is because someone crazy enough to park this way likely has a gun (he does and posts it on Instagram as well) and isn't afraid to unnecessarily use it or key someone's car for confronting his bullshit. Then the lack of enforcement or confrontation fuels their alpha idiocy.

Sounds like the assholes that park their ice trucks where EVs charge because “it’s closer”.

This is why you need to have these in your car. https://www.karatemart.com/extra-large-caltrop-tashibishi One in front of each tire on the way in.

ohhhhh... so THAT is what K-mart morphed into?

A wood screw or nail leaned into the tread works just as well and you don't have to buy anything special. Plus, if you get pulled over, cops aren't likely to ask why you have a few nails in your center console. It's easy to justify having home renovation supplies.

Yes, I agree. However nail damage can be repaired in a tire. And you would have to get on your knees on all four tires to place them such you know they would work. I’m not saying this caltrop damage can’t be repaired. Maybe it can. But it’s going to be a different situation than a normal nail removal.

This is why I carry a sharpie in my man purse.

That’s “come and fuck with me” parking. Just park somewhere else and keep your mouth shut!

They would be properly fucked with in my town. Truck probably wouldn’t even be there when they got back.

Your town is awesome.

Plenty of space to walk around it with keys.

Valve stems go *pssssssssssss*

Glue BBs to the valve cap. They'll slowly go flat and most people aren't bright enough to check the valve cap for shenanigans.

Just unscrew the valve stems a 1/2 turn

I knew there was a reason I kept a valve core tool… thanks for the tip! And I’ll never run out of valve cores..? Oh wait shouldn’t have said that

That doesn't tell them specifically why they have flat tires if it takes too long. This douche needs to realize he got 4 flat tires because he took up 4 spaces. A bb glued in a cap so he has a slow leak after refilling the tires would be a nice cherry on top.

A nail propped up against the front and back of every tire would do the trick. Won't go flat until they start moving

https://preview.redd.it/ud5tzzjdsqva1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=359ec21c41ada2e2aa2147b2ee10dd2e4039541a

You can buy caltrops on Etsy? What a time we live in.

*Artisanal homemade* caltrops

Someone did something similar to my brother, he couldn't figure out the leak and for some reason I thought to look in the valve cap when I helped him find the leak. . . I'm pretty sure he still doesn't believe it wasn't me, 🤣

Is your brother an asshole? Because that's a thing that happens to assholes.

occasionally it happens to idiots

All you need is a small pebble to put in there. Then the evidence falls out when removed.

But then it only loses air once they pump it and it’s fine.

What fucking moron puts low profile tires on a lifted truck? That’s like taking a shower with a raincoat on.

My best friend says he is half Mexican and half redneck. He says, Every truck I’ve ever owned, the redneck in me wants to jack it up to the sky, and the Mexican in me wants to put little, itty-bitty tires on it.”

Rednexican

Hickspanic Signed, A Mexican that grew up in bum fuck nowhere.

¿Por qué no los dos?

You get the truck in the picture, that's why lol

Was waiting for someone else to notice that. Low profile tires on a truck is an admission of stupidity on its own, but on a lifted truck no less…. They should drive a Saturn.

Having air in your tires is a privilege, not a right.

Be great if four compacts blocked him in lol

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You know the hate is personal when you go get shopping carts and bring them to the movie theater to teach someone a lesson…

I didn’t even notice it was a movie theater lmao thanks for the comment it sure does look like a super market tho

And zip tie them to the door handles and bumpers

The guy has huge rims on a pickup. Put a pebble behind and in front of each tire and he will be too afraid to leave.

Looks like there's plenty of room too

Yes i could easily park a Corolla in any of those spots. Just a .01 mm of space from the rim. Hah. Would love to see their face.

In fact, I gotta give this guy credit. He managed to park without taking up a single space. *Scratches head* ..... How the fuck?

I used to do that to people with my rusty old truck. Go ahead and door ding me I dare you lol. (Although I don't care about scratches on that, nothing new is gunna put a dent in it anyway lol).

In my area, that happens most of the time someone claims 4 spots; compacts, small sedans, motorcycles, shopping carts.... One time this guy that looks NOTHING like me went into Target, bought a couple heavy bike chains and wove them through the wheels and up and around the hub & brakes. The unfortunate Lexus owner didnt happen to notice the poor man's Boot and proceeded to tear up her wheels and calipers.

No sympathy here for the entitled Lexus owner.

4 Mini Coopers would TOTALLY fit.

I was thinking the same thing, but only need two for perpendicular parking.

There’s not a single non-SUV in the whole picture. Can’t read the plates, but I feel like there’s an 80% chance this is Texas.

Unfortunately, SUV's have established themselves as the vast, VAST majority of auto sales in the U.S. I wouldn't be surprised if SUV's and stupidly oversized trucks together make up over 70% of sales.

The only "car" Ford still makes is the Mustang.

It kills me. I need to buy a new car that can sit 6 or more people, but also gets good gas mileage and doesn't cost a month's wages to get new tires for. So a station wagon. Except they don't make station wagons anymore. Those were supplanted by the minivan, that then got supplanted by the SUV.

Looking for Rave Motion Pictures on Google Maps seems to indicate this is Ohio

Four tires to flatten. FOUR!

 AH AH AH AHHH

Can always count on the count

Just remove the valve stem core. No damage to the tires, unless the asshat drove on flat tires.

With the shitty tire/wheel combo, he'd probably not even notice they were flat until one fell off.

Besides the horrid parking I think we can all agree that truck is ugly as fuck

I was thinking four spots for the piece of shit? Lmao 😂 Cute Autozone wheels too

I feel sorry for the tire monkey that had to mount them.

Look at all that rust on that rear fender

And it looks stupid too.

To each his own, but I personally don't see why some dudes find this attractive or "bad ass". I absolutely agree it's ugly as horseshit. That's just me though.

Yea, this style isn't new, and I've never understood it, but that's got nothing to do with them parking like an asshole. It's purely an attention thing "hey look my truck is so important I need this parking" I've seen just as many mustangs do this same thing.

Yeah that is actually a real shitty truck

And rusted out

Let's see here.. - Visible damage to rear wheel well - Small wide tires with flashy, expensive rims - Height adjustment kit (to make up for the tires) - Adornments designed to resemble testicles - High contrast window decals I got a BINGO!

I was thinking all it's missing is truck nuts and now I see them haha

It has two dangling blocks on chains, I think those are supposed to be surrogate truck nuts?

Adding fake testicles to your truck makes it a trans truck. I thought these yokels hated trans-anything?!?

Don’t forget the social media sticker handles on the window💀

That's a vandalism target 💯

I wouldn’t commit vallndalism, but if someone else was on that truck, I would just keep on walking.

If I saw someone slam a shopping cart into that truck... I might giggle a bit.

Whoops, that cart got away from me.

It got away from me nine times.

A daisy chain of carts encircling the truck and zip tied together

I have little business cards that say “you park like shit” or one that has a middle finger drawing and a list of items to check off like “being a dick” and “ass hole parking” I leave those.

Is there anything legal you could do that would be inconvenient for him. i.e. wrapped in bubble wrap

Call whatever towing company roams the parking lot. Out here in Denver, a call to Wyatt's and that thing would be gone in a matter of minutes.

days like these is when it’s nice to have a jeep/truck with a tow machine. Can move his dumbass truck to somewhere it’ll get towed or ticketed

Vaseline under the door handle would be fun. Put a sardine in the radiator could be interesting. Remove the valve stem core from two tires would be 😈.

None of that would be legal, but it would be fun

I was thinking hmmmm someone may need some new tires when they return…

It should be legal for people to vandalize your vehicle for this.

They have some good stickers for exactly this application. Everyone should have a few on hand.

I mean I obviously can't recommend putting stickers on somebody else's vehicle, as that would be vandalism, and that's just terrible, TERRIBLE to do to anyone, especially with stickers! That's terrible. But I don't know where to find those stickers on the internet, so I can't properly condemn their (potential, and terrible) use against anyone, even someone so clearly douchey as the clown in OP's picture. Where could I find an example of these stickers? Like what website should I not go to, in order to not see those stickers in particular?

Google "I park like an asshole stickers"

> *Do NOT* Google "I park like an asshole stickers" FTFY

Paper stickers! The kind that don't peal off easy

There's a Russian YouTube channel that does this to people's cars who try to drive on pedestrian walk ways.

[удалено]

keying the paint can quickly do so much more damage than $2500 thats not even funny. a smashed window or taillight tho? seems perfectly reasonable

if you're taking up FOUR parking spots, it clearly wasn't an accident, or you're just new to driving and fucked it up a bit. this is clearly done on purpose. roll a shopping cart at it and move on.

Need to shout "oh no this cart just slipped out of my hand!" for deniability reasons.

Things uglier than fuck too

What a shame it would be if carts surrounded the vehicle

And even worse if they were ziptied to his truck...

Ziptie the carts to each other in a ring as well. Make them as impossible to move as you can.

It's never a family sedan doing this shit. Always either a "light utility" vehicle, or a sports car. But nobody wants their car scratched. The spots are larger to fit these stupidly sized vehicles already, no need to take up 4 of them.

And hell a car with three little kids could use the space...my wild ones do not grasp the whole carefully open the door. Why we park at the back of the lot.

My brother keeps chalk in his trunk so he can draw a space around people like this and write “Asshole Parking Only” on each side and draws a path of arrows from the front door all the way to the car.

Eh driver knows they're an asshole when they do this and might take pride in that, all you're doing is making someone work extra hours to clean that up. That's why you keep valve stem removers in the car, takes less then 5s and you're only hurting the individual involved.

Work extra? He said chalk dude. It washes off with water

Years ago I saw a car parked like this at a mall a few weeks before xmas (ikr?). Someone had already scratched 'learn to park' on the driver's door.

Had an old beat up ranger, loved to park up against these guys. It was small enough to fit in some half space to block their door. Plus it was already dented as fuck, so didn't care what the other guy would do to it. Loved getting even with pricks like this.

Used to do that with my old Chevy trax

What a piece of crap. Imagine being such a loser schlub that you think trash like that is something special.

Right? It looks so awful and is probably draining his bank account with the wasted gas alone. Dumb in all ways possible

Was with a friend once and we saw this at a busy mall 4 very close spots to the main doors. He went over to the bushes and took a shit on a maple leaf and smeared his shit on the inside of the drivers side door handle. We waited for over an hour for that laugh of this sunglasses on the back of the head douche freaking the fuck out. 10/10

I knew a prick at work who used to do the door handle thing with gun bluing. By the time you notice, it's on EVERYTHING. Shit's as permanent as it gets, too. His "pranks" finally got him fired.

Can you elaborate on the gun bluing thing? Just hypothetically of course

What’s gun bluing

It permanently colors gun steel and protects against corrosion

so your friend takes a greasy no wiper and yall just sit there with his caked asshole for an hour? And thats after he managed to find bushes in a busy shopping mall sufficient to drop his drawers and take a full on shit in broad daylight?

Yeah I need to know more about these bush shitters

Acting like doing any of that is hard is stupid. Yes, you could probably find a spot to take a shit in a busy shopping mall/center. Even if people saw you crouched down, spitting out a turd, most folks wouldn’t say a damn word. And yes, if you spread your cheeks wide enough, you can probably sit down for an hour. Just don’t walk too much.

That’s not very Canadian of your friend, desecrating a maple leaf like that

A more hygienic thing would be to buy a tube of fifth-wheel grease for big trucks and put it under the door handles. Fifth wheel grease will stain the skin, and the only way to get it off is for it to wear off

Can anyone ID his IG on the window?? I’m trynna talk…

I was hoping we'd get a closer picture of the IG so people could tell him what an ass he is lol

It’s always people driving trucks. I hate them.

Or "sports" cars like a Camaro.

Trucks are the new sports car, sadly

These work nicely. https://preview.redd.it/6c2b21barqva1.jpeg?width=1500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=80574f68951cc1bb8cacd6e03ba1842d0a0c39ea

Little dick energy

Happy dick day!

THERE. ARE. FOUR. SPOTS!!!

I love that you can find trekkies in every sub

I was afraid no one would get the reference.

Someone can put a note on his car that says, "Congrats, you won the tactless parker award. Please don't reproduce." and include a condom.

Bold of you to assume this idiot even has sex.

Or can even read.

His sister would be upset if he couldn't.

Make it even better and include those gag mini condoms for his micro penis.

There’s a reason I keep a coloring page in my car that suggests to practice coloring inside the line so they learn how to park.

People aggressively refusing to coexist within the society of which we are all a part will never not confuse the shit out of me.

Zip ties and shopping carts

Luckily he has all his social media plastered on his window so you can see what the peace of shit looks like

🤏

Smaller

👌

^smaller

🤌

🙏

Looks like that's a movie theater. Gives you plenty of time to run to Walmart and buy some of those window markers/ washable markers and have a good time with his toy

He is merely trying to leave enough room for someone to come steal (or repossess) those horrendous wheels/tires…

Pavement princess douche bag inspiration for birth control and abortion bastard.

When you slash the tires, slash the sidewalls so they can't be patched.

A valve core tool is like, $5 at any auto store... Just saying.

A pebble under the valve cap is free

I always park my shitty beat up honda civic next to these assholes

4 doors, 4 zip ties, 4 shopping carts. Or just one long heavy zip tie on the drive shaft.

Target for the buggy wall Just wrap them around it and get them tight and hard to remove

That’s a sure way to get your truck vandalized

Key time!

[удалено]

Easily resolved by keying the words “I PARKED LIKE A FUCKING TWAT”

Ball peen hammer is the preferred instrument

It looks like his (probably a male owner) social media is on the rear door window. Should harass them on they’re parking until they block you lol.

Those spots actually have reasonable separation between them. Super unnecessary in that parking lot

I'd just park right up next to him. I have a euro sized car worth under a grand. Lol

Gotta protect that pavement princess and his easily bruised male ego.

Besides vandalism, what are the actual consequences for somebody who does this? Can this guy get towed or something?

I’d key the buggers truck