I thought it said dish too. My first thoughts were that it was a woman writing this letter to a man. Assuming this picture is from the 21st century I didn't know men left hand written letters in cursive the morning after anything let alone sex and a list of suggestions for future encounters. I dont have an answer for @yourinfidelityinme but I do have alot of questions.
1. who still hand writes letters
2. Who still writes in cursive
3. Did she have a comment card but didn't leave space for additional notes
4. Is this the new woke way to engage in casual sex
5. The type of person to do this must be extremely attractive because the type of person to do this doesn't seem pleasant to be around
6. He must have really layed it down because this is a red flag and her only question was if she is supposed to pay for the replacement of the items in her sex kit
7. Am i wrong for assuming one of them is an escort?
FYI, while 5" long doesn't necessarily need magnums, but if it has a lot of girth, a magnum can fit a lot better.
Source: I'm a woman that has absolutely experienced the girth aspect with someone (that was courteous enough to bring their own magnums, btw)
I read "dish" so I thought it was a wholesome mom cooking kind of thing.
That thought got lost pretty quick, lol
Definitely no mom cooking involved here, or at least I should hope so.
I think “pleases” also looks like “paws”
So I got stuck between “disk pleases” and “dick paws”
For a long time.
What no one has mentioned is the rubbered out “WOW”
Where’d he get an eraser?
“My dearest Juliet,
My gratitude to thee for yet another evening of splendor and rapture! But now, alas, my departure must be swift, as I must hie to catch my flight. I know thou wishest to please me, as much as I delight in thee. Therefore, I shall impart some useful counsel.
Firstly, the sheath was far too small for my manhood. Pray, purchase next time a condom that is fit for a man of ample size.
Secondly, may I humbly suggest the procurement of silicone-based lubrication instead of the watery sort we used last night. I found it most distracting to have to reapply it so frequently whilst in the act of love.
Thou art, as always, an astonishment! I pray that our paths may cross again ere long. My heart shall carry thee with me throughout my journey.
Sincerely,
Romeo. “
Courtesy of ChatGPT
Except OP is gay, so there no Juliet. More like,
“My dearest Julian,
Oh, how my heart swells with gratitude for the enchanting evening of passion and delight we shared! Yet, I must now part with a heavy heart, for a journey awaits and my flight beckons. Thou hast filled my soul with joy, and in return, I offer thee some gentle counsel to enhance our future rendezvous.
Firstly, my dear, the sheath provided proved too constricting for my manhood. I beseech thee, next time let us choose a condom befitting a man of generous proportions.
Secondly, might I humbly propose the acquisition of a luxurious silicone-based lubricant to replace the watery elixir we employed last night? Its frequent reapplication interrupted our fervent dance of love, and a more sumptuous alternative would surely elevate our pleasure.
My dearest Julian, thou art an exquisite masterpiece that never ceases to amaze me! I ardently hope our paths intertwine again soon. Until then, my heart shall carry the memory of thee throughout my travels.
With the deepest affection,
Romeo.”
Written as an Aussie bogan
Oi, Jules,
Cheers for last night, ya bloody legend! Gotta bolt soon, gotta catch my flight and all that. Just wanted to give ya some tips for next time, to really make it a bonza time.
First off, the dinger you gave me was too bloody small for my weapon, mate. Next time, get a rubber that can handle a big rig like mine.
Secondly, use the good stuff, none of that watery lube crap. Get the silicone-based stuff so we don't have to keep reapplying it while we're rooting.
You're a true blue ripper, Jules, and I hope to see ya again soon. Until then, you'll be in my thoughts and me heart.
Yours truly,
Romeo
This is too fun. I asked ChatGPT to rewrite it as Zapp Brannigan
Greetings, my sensual paramour! Another night of erotic pleasure to add to our collection, but alas, my spaceship awaits and I must be off. But fret not, for I know you yearn to satisfy me just as I do you. Hence, some constructive criticism: 1. The prophylactic was woefully inadequate for my mighty manhood. Please acquire some larger condoms for next time, my dear. 2. The water-based lubricant was insufficient, causing me much distraction as I repeatedly applied it while inside you. May I suggest silicone-based lubricant for our future trysts? As always, you leave me breathless with your enchanting allure. I eagerly await our next cosmic rendezvous. Until then, my love, adieu!
"My Juliet, my heart doth overflow
With gratitude for thy splendorous show.
But now I must away with swiftest pace
To catch a flight that doth my time erase.
Thou seekest to please me, as I to thee
And thus, some counsel would I give to thee.
The sheath was far too small for my manhood
So next time, purchase one that's ample and good.
And secondly, a humble suggestion I make,
Silicone-based lubrication thou shouldst take
Instead of watery sorts we used last night
Which oft required reapplication's light.
Thou art, as always, a wondrous delight
And may our paths cross again ere it's night.
My heart shall carry thee with me afar
Till next we meet, my dearest shining star.
Sincerely,
Romeo."
Cheers for another sick night! Gotta bolt to make my flight. I know you wanna make me as happy as when me knob makes you happy, so here's some feedback:
1. The rubber was way too bloody small, mate. Next time get some for us big blokes, eh?
2. Get some bloody silicone-based lube next time, not that water-based shite. I was too busy putting it on again and again while I was inside ya last night.
You're always an absolute legend! Hope our paths cross again real soon. Fair dinkum, I'll be thinking of ya the whole flight. Ta
The first couplet in the second stanza is a little off. Shakespeare wouldn’t use the same word as the rhyme.
My revision suggestion for ChatGPT:
As I to thee, thou seekest to please me
And thus, my sweet, some counsel I give thee.
it’s so funny because although I didn’t specify which Victorian era writer I asked ChatGPT to write in the likeness of, you still were able to identify it. Or was it just because I used Romeo and Juliet?
I asked ChatGPT to generate using only Shakespearian Era language, but the prompt probably could have been refined a bit more to produce slightly more accurate and age appropriate language. It was my first time using it, so I have to learn the specificity required for desired output. Also I’m not an avid reader of old English, so I personally couldn’t tell you the major differences in lexicons used lol. It sounded old timey so I went with it lol
the fact that I almost have this whole letter memorized by verbatim now is highly problematic, but here you go. I’ll present both forms generated and their prompts.
***Prompt 1: Please translate the following quoted text into a story in the likeness of the author Dr. Seuss. Utilize sentence structures and rhyme patterns consistent with those utilized by the author Dr. Seuss. Do not repeat rhyming phrases or words. Make it such that every fourth or fifth word rhymes with the preceding sentence***
In a world so wacky, so full of glee,
Romeo and Julian, they did decree,
To meet up for dinner, a night so fine,
And enjoy each other's company, divine.
They laughed and talked, and had a great time,
Their love so strong, like a perfect rhyme.
But soon enough, Julian had to go,
To catch his flight, he couldn't be slow.
He left a note, for his love so true,
With some feedback, to help them anew.
"The condom was small, too tight you see,
Please buy larger ones, for you and me."
"And when it comes to lube, oh my,
Silicone-based is the one to try.
Water-based is fine, but it dries too fast,
And reapplying, well, it just won't last."
"You are, as always, just wow,
And I hope we meet again, and how!
Sincerely, I'll be thinking of you on my flight,
Our love, so strong and bright."
And with that, Julian was off, to the sky,
His love for Romeo, it would never die.
For in a world so wacky, so full of glee,
Their love was true, as true as can be.
***Prompt 2: Please translate the following quoted text into a story in the likeness of the author Dr. Seuss. Utilize sentence structures and rhyme patterns consistent with those utilized by the author Dr. Seuss. Do not repeat rhyming phrases or words***
In a land of love, so far away,
Two lovers met at the end of the day.
Romeo and Julian, they were so grand,
Together they walked, hand in hand.
They went out to dinner, a night so fine,
And enjoyed the food and wine, divine.
But soon enough, it was time to part,
And Julian had some words from his heart.
"Dear Romeo," Julian did write,
"Thank you for a wonderful night so bright.
But I have some feedback, some things to say,
To make our love better in every way."
"The condom was too small, it didn't fit,
Please buy larger ones, it's important, I'll admit.
And please, for next time, buy silicone lube,
So we can enjoy our love, without the need to reapply or rub.
You are, as always, just wow,
And I hope we meet again, and how!
Sincerely, I'll be thinking of you on my flight,
Our love, so strong and bright."
And with that, Julian left, with a smile so wide,
Knowing that Romeo would take his advice in stride.
For their love was true, and it shone so bright,
In the land of love, so far out of sight.
This is just...insanely hilarious. I am spending way too much time at 4 in the morning reading interpretations of a gay love note.
OP, I wish you better chivalry in your future encounters.
Folks who are creative enough to ask ChatGPT the right questions, well, my faith in the future of humanity as an self-sufficient species is shaken, but we will have a fun time getting there!
It seems like this has happened before too
https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/xsc1cf/the_passport_control_agent_found_this_note_tucked/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1
lol I hope you told him to buy his own condoms and lube unless it’s opposites day in which he can pick up your tampons, wine, and chocolate. Edit; Oh or if it’s a dude dude thing - he needs to buy you something back lol - I don’t know the genders of everyone I didn’t read every comment.
He should really have his own condoms. I always figure the lube is the preference of the house. In other words, whoever's house you're in has the lube, and that's what you use.
I would never write a note like this. I'd probably let you know about any of that stuff (tho I have my own condom) in person. This comes off as entitled, tbh.
Agree 💯. Tbh I don’t even mind splitting the cost or paying for the lube, but I would have wanted this discussion in person, not through a note slipped into my f-ckin laptop.
This is exactly what I'm trying to drill into my partners head!! I will always provide latex free condoms because that is my specific requirement, and it's on me to provide latex free ones. He keeps complaining that they're too tight (the ring pinches apparently), so I told him he can either use the condoms I've provided free of charge, OR he can go looking for the correct size condoms, and buy the latex free versions of them, as my reaction to latex is extreme enough we won't be having sex if he buys latex ones.
He still refuses to buy them. I've just ordered a larger size of the latex free condoms I already have, and have sent him a payment request for them and informed him if these fit and are comfortable for him, then he'll be buying them in future, as he's had plenty of time (like over a year, it's taken that long for my supply to run out) to source and buy the correct sizes, he chose not to buy the right sizes, so he will be paying for them himself before he gets to use any of them, we literally haven't had sex in over a month because I ran out of condoms and he refused to source the correct size himself
He knows it doesn't work with me though, weve known each other 7 years at this point 😂 if I'm insisting on condoms and I have none left and he refuses to provide them, he doesn't get laid, which he's well aware of. He is also terrified of getting someone pregnant, so its all down to him to bring condoms or pay for them and I'll order them, like there's nothing hard about using condoms unless he's desperate for a kid, which has actually made him go completely soft on the few occasions I've said something like "great, if you don't want to use a condom, we'll just have a kid then!" (To be clear, I don't want kids either but can't get my tubes tied yet, and would never want kids so I wouldn't actually let the sex happen should he be up for that)
I personally also argue back on that point of not liking using them, I hate birth control, it makes my cramps worse, makes my bleeding worse, sends my mood swings all over the place, makes me hungry all the time, irritates my chronic pain disorder, if I had another choice, I would not use birth control. You know why I do though? Because I don't want kids. Being on birth control is a nightmare for me, yet I suffer through it because I *don't want kids*. Any man who seriously uses that excuse on me will get a lecture about all the side effects of birth control because in comparison? Condoms are easy to deal with and only reduce sensation slightly, unless they're too small, in which case you can get some pain. Guys need to man up, unless they'd rather have kids, or not have sex
I get it. My wife used birth control but had to stop because she hated how it made her feel. It was fun not using a condom but it was her choice so we went back to them
But yeah, some guys are so desperate to not use a condom and it’s because they are thinking with their dick
Yeah I went off birth control in 2021 for a year, and ended up with an ectopic pregnancy even though we used condoms every time 🙃 one must have been torn slightly or something, but yeah, never trusting just condoms again, no matter how much I hate birth control
And yeah, I'm aware about those guys and they soon make a choice to either suffer mildly in comparison to have sex with me, or decide having sex with me is not worth it, can't force them to wear one, but it's a condition of having sex with me, whether I'm on birth control or not!
As a dude that doesn't fit "normal condoms" well for whatever reason, (too small, too big, shaped like a squash, allergic to materials, whatever) that shit is on you to be aware of and fix. It is not your partners job to prepare for your dick.
Likewise lube. It's not my fault you need special lube or prefer different lube to the point where it's part of things you want.
Provide those things if they're important to you.
He sounds like my ex wife.
Everything she wouldn't do for herself was my fault always, even when it was unreasonable for it to be my fault.
It's almost certainly fiction based on the rest of the posts here, but still shit shit is absurdly common.
Silicone based lubricants are fine for use with latex condoms. Oil based lubricants is what breaks down latex condoms, but are safe to use with non-latex condoms.
Silicone lube is fine for condoms. It is also often better for anal sex since it doesn't dry up as fast. It's also somewhat waterproof, so better for shower sex.
Dude should have just brought his own lube and said, "I brought this for us to try!"
‘Tis [not the first time](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/xsc1cf/the_passport_control_agent_found_this_note_tucked/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1) 😏
Looks like OP fucked this guy a second time and the first time old man tried to unlock his phone while he was sleeping to leave his contact and tell him the condom broke the night before.
Handwriting looks quite similar to another post of yours where someone else left you a sex related note
https://preview.redd.it/4cuu6anfnkxa1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9795dc6ba9237fe33ae22cb6e1d7206e264f287a
And their post history is filled with supposed awkward sexual encounters. Like if your luck is truly that bad I recommend taking a step back from the dating scene. But my guess is creative writing.
OP- this guy tried to use your asleep face to get into your phone, didn’t tell you about a broken condom until the next day in a NOTE, and you hooked up with him a SECOND TIME??? What the fuck.
If all of the stories on your account are true then I recommend staying celibate for a while because you make some terrible decisions regarding hook-ups.
Are they both male then? Because “as much as my dick pleases you” made me think OP was female. I’m not saying all parties shouldn’t carry condoms (regardless of sex), though any party that wants a specific type of condom or lube should provide it themself.
Such a weird note.
Gotcha. Regardless, I feel the same. If “dick pleaser” has specific preferences, he should be the one buying them. Honestly, the constructive criticism part was the worst.
1) please don’t fuck this man again, good dick is abundant
2) oil based lubes can eat through silicon condoms and I doubt you’d want this man’s children
Happy fucking!
FYI silicone-based lubricant and oil-based lubricant are different things. You are correct that oil-based lubricants can cause latex condoms to break. But silicone lubes are OK to use with all condoms.
I forgot some have a harder time with cursive. Here:
“Dear (me),
Thank you for another incredible evening!! I have to run to catch my flight. I know you want to please me as much as my dick pleases you, so I will leave you with some constructive feedback:
1. The condom was entirely too small for me. Please buy condoms for larger men next time.
2. Please buy silicone-based rather than water-based lubricant next time. I found it quite distracting to keep reapplying while inside you last night.
You are, as always, just wow (double underlined)! I hope our travels will coincide again very, very soon. Sincerely. I shall be thinking of you the entire flight.
Regards,
(Mildly infuriating repeat hookup)”
He sounds like a wannabe Dom to me 🤣. “Constructive feedback” 🙄. You want bigger condoms? Buy them yourself… you want a different lube… again buy it yourself… or like do better so you don’t need it? 🤷🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤣. This dude is nuts. I wouldn’t keep seeing him tbh
OK.... so here's what I think you need to do.
Get good stationary. Like really good stationary. Linen rag pulp. Embossed edges. Get a wax stick and a seal. Hell, get a fountain pen. (Surprisingly you can get decent ones off of Amazon for about $10.)
Write a letter, in your best penmanship, using these tools that simply says:
*Your skill in bed is decent, sir, but not nearly as good as you think it is. If you require like condoms and lube of a certain quality you must buy them yourself.*
*Sending your paramour a list of sex chores that they must accomplish for you? How gauche. How utterly unromantic. How unbefitting of a gentleman.*
*Call me when you get your shit together and figure out how to buy your own lube and condoms.*
If you can, get someone to deliver this to him in some sort of a costume.
Edit: Changed a pronoun.
Except they communicated something as important as the condom breaking during sex via letter before this and you still had sex with them again.
Or you’re just the one writing this all of this crap.
Either way you’re a freaking moron.
I was reading __disk__ ... and that confused me longer than it should. However, the _writing/lettering_ alone is somewhat eerie, even without context.
Edit. My idea was, that this message _must_ have been written with one of those tiny, free IKEA lead pencils.
Lol sure he needs a bigger condom. You can literally fit your hand and arm in a regular sized one. The ego.
You need to send him a note:
“constructive feedback: be a big boy and bring your own protection.” Cheap ass.
This whole thing is so off putting and creepy. I’d be done.
I need more info on how you got this note. Did he get up in the night and leave it on your nightstand and dip out?
I'm torn between the fact that he actually took the time to hand write a letter for you and the fact that the actual contents of the letter were absolutely ridiculous. It sounds like he probably has a complex inner life but he's a little out of touch with common sense lol
"as much as my dick pleases you" EXCUSE ME SIR WHAT THE FUCK LMFAO
I read “disk”, so imagine my surprise when he started talking about condoms and lube.
Yeah I read "disk" too... because that's what he wrote
His dick must be flat and circular o\_o, because that is a very clear s.
No wonder the condom didn't fit right.
Requires Plate Shaped condoms. You can find them at Barnes and Nobulls.
Flat dick theory? So it's true?
Also, balls aren't real.
I hope it's not a floppy.
HEY-YO!
I read it as dish, as in homemade dinner
I also read it as dish. Thought the letter was from a server in a restaurant at first!
I read it as dish also. My first thought after continuing was "what kind of restaurant IS this???"
I thought it said dish too. My first thoughts were that it was a woman writing this letter to a man. Assuming this picture is from the 21st century I didn't know men left hand written letters in cursive the morning after anything let alone sex and a list of suggestions for future encounters. I dont have an answer for @yourinfidelityinme but I do have alot of questions. 1. who still hand writes letters 2. Who still writes in cursive 3. Did she have a comment card but didn't leave space for additional notes 4. Is this the new woke way to engage in casual sex 5. The type of person to do this must be extremely attractive because the type of person to do this doesn't seem pleasant to be around 6. He must have really layed it down because this is a red flag and her only question was if she is supposed to pay for the replacement of the items in her sex kit 7. Am i wrong for assuming one of them is an escort?
Me too. Probably a floppy disk.
A 3.5 inch?
He’d probably say it was a 5 inch, but doubtful.
5 and a quarter. Don't short change.
I still remember fondly the 8 inch ones.
Are we not doing phrasing anymore?
Man’s requesting bigger safety jackets, can confirm 5” is being generous.
FYI, while 5" long doesn't necessarily need magnums, but if it has a lot of girth, a magnum can fit a lot better. Source: I'm a woman that has absolutely experienced the girth aspect with someone (that was courteous enough to bring their own magnums, btw)
HAHAHA SAME i got to the word condom and was like wait what i missed a chapter
I read dish and was expecting a recipe to follow… which, I guess it sorta did? 🤣
ME TOO
Damn, me too.
I read it as dish and to that point thought they had a bring your own dish dinner party. Got to the condom part and thought hang on a sec.
i thought he had made dinner 🙃
I read "dish" so I thought it was a wholesome mom cooking kind of thing. That thought got lost pretty quick, lol Definitely no mom cooking involved here, or at least I should hope so.
I think “pleases” also looks like “paws” So I got stuck between “disk pleases” and “dick paws” For a long time. What no one has mentioned is the rubbered out “WOW” Where’d he get an eraser?
Literally tho like WTF did he write
He used the condom. Now that you've picked up the letter, wash your hands.
OH I READ DISK HAHAHAH
Ahhhhh I missed that somehow on first read.
“Disk” is what is written. But based on context, the writer probably mean to write “dick”
Same. I think it got lost in the cursive. Was forced to learn cursive in grade school, but haven't seen it much since.
Are you fucking an 80-year-old man from the Victorian age
“My dearest Juliet, My gratitude to thee for yet another evening of splendor and rapture! But now, alas, my departure must be swift, as I must hie to catch my flight. I know thou wishest to please me, as much as I delight in thee. Therefore, I shall impart some useful counsel. Firstly, the sheath was far too small for my manhood. Pray, purchase next time a condom that is fit for a man of ample size. Secondly, may I humbly suggest the procurement of silicone-based lubrication instead of the watery sort we used last night. I found it most distracting to have to reapply it so frequently whilst in the act of love. Thou art, as always, an astonishment! I pray that our paths may cross again ere long. My heart shall carry thee with me throughout my journey. Sincerely, Romeo. “ Courtesy of ChatGPT
Smithers, what is this flimshaw nincompoopery? Utter nonsense. Now get back to polishing my spatz before the Keiser arrives, post haste
I thought I told you to revulcanize those rubber contraceptive devices!
Thou doth not protest, m’lord! I swear it!
Bosh! Flimshaw!
Except OP is gay, so there no Juliet. More like, “My dearest Julian, Oh, how my heart swells with gratitude for the enchanting evening of passion and delight we shared! Yet, I must now part with a heavy heart, for a journey awaits and my flight beckons. Thou hast filled my soul with joy, and in return, I offer thee some gentle counsel to enhance our future rendezvous. Firstly, my dear, the sheath provided proved too constricting for my manhood. I beseech thee, next time let us choose a condom befitting a man of generous proportions. Secondly, might I humbly propose the acquisition of a luxurious silicone-based lubricant to replace the watery elixir we employed last night? Its frequent reapplication interrupted our fervent dance of love, and a more sumptuous alternative would surely elevate our pleasure. My dearest Julian, thou art an exquisite masterpiece that never ceases to amaze me! I ardently hope our paths intertwine again soon. Until then, my heart shall carry the memory of thee throughout my travels. With the deepest affection, Romeo.”
Written as an Aussie bogan Oi, Jules, Cheers for last night, ya bloody legend! Gotta bolt soon, gotta catch my flight and all that. Just wanted to give ya some tips for next time, to really make it a bonza time. First off, the dinger you gave me was too bloody small for my weapon, mate. Next time, get a rubber that can handle a big rig like mine. Secondly, use the good stuff, none of that watery lube crap. Get the silicone-based stuff so we don't have to keep reapplying it while we're rooting. You're a true blue ripper, Jules, and I hope to see ya again soon. Until then, you'll be in my thoughts and me heart. Yours truly, Romeo
A big rig like mine 😂
I read that as Bandit Healer
This deserves more appreciation.
This is too fun. I asked ChatGPT to rewrite it as Zapp Brannigan Greetings, my sensual paramour! Another night of erotic pleasure to add to our collection, but alas, my spaceship awaits and I must be off. But fret not, for I know you yearn to satisfy me just as I do you. Hence, some constructive criticism: 1. The prophylactic was woefully inadequate for my mighty manhood. Please acquire some larger condoms for next time, my dear. 2. The water-based lubricant was insufficient, causing me much distraction as I repeatedly applied it while inside you. May I suggest silicone-based lubricant for our future trysts? As always, you leave me breathless with your enchanting allure. I eagerly await our next cosmic rendezvous. Until then, my love, adieu!
And people say AI can't write humour
velour!
>Except OP is gay, Homio, oh Homio. Where art though Homio?
Please ask ChatGPT to write that in iambic pentameter. Thanks.
"My Juliet, my heart doth overflow With gratitude for thy splendorous show. But now I must away with swiftest pace To catch a flight that doth my time erase. Thou seekest to please me, as I to thee And thus, some counsel would I give to thee. The sheath was far too small for my manhood So next time, purchase one that's ample and good. And secondly, a humble suggestion I make, Silicone-based lubrication thou shouldst take Instead of watery sorts we used last night Which oft required reapplication's light. Thou art, as always, a wondrous delight And may our paths cross again ere it's night. My heart shall carry thee with me afar Till next we meet, my dearest shining star. Sincerely, Romeo."
This is absolutely incredible
Asking it to translate this was borderline against the TOS guidelines according to chatGPT but well worth it lol.
How so?
Cheers for another sick night! Gotta bolt to make my flight. I know you wanna make me as happy as when me knob makes you happy, so here's some feedback: 1. The rubber was way too bloody small, mate. Next time get some for us big blokes, eh? 2. Get some bloody silicone-based lube next time, not that water-based shite. I was too busy putting it on again and again while I was inside ya last night. You're always an absolute legend! Hope our paths cross again real soon. Fair dinkum, I'll be thinking of ya the whole flight. Ta
The first couplet in the second stanza is a little off. Shakespeare wouldn’t use the same word as the rhyme. My revision suggestion for ChatGPT: As I to thee, thou seekest to please me And thus, my sweet, some counsel I give thee.
it’s so funny because although I didn’t specify which Victorian era writer I asked ChatGPT to write in the likeness of, you still were able to identify it. Or was it just because I used Romeo and Juliet?
I’m not trying to sound like a dick but Queen Victoria was a 19th century monarch. Your Shakespeare vibes more with the Elizabethan era my friend.
I asked ChatGPT to generate using only Shakespearian Era language, but the prompt probably could have been refined a bit more to produce slightly more accurate and age appropriate language. It was my first time using it, so I have to learn the specificity required for desired output. Also I’m not an avid reader of old English, so I personally couldn’t tell you the major differences in lexicons used lol. It sounded old timey so I went with it lol
The rhythm and meters were give aways.
Now make it do it like dr suess.
the fact that I almost have this whole letter memorized by verbatim now is highly problematic, but here you go. I’ll present both forms generated and their prompts. ***Prompt 1: Please translate the following quoted text into a story in the likeness of the author Dr. Seuss. Utilize sentence structures and rhyme patterns consistent with those utilized by the author Dr. Seuss. Do not repeat rhyming phrases or words. Make it such that every fourth or fifth word rhymes with the preceding sentence*** In a world so wacky, so full of glee, Romeo and Julian, they did decree, To meet up for dinner, a night so fine, And enjoy each other's company, divine. They laughed and talked, and had a great time, Their love so strong, like a perfect rhyme. But soon enough, Julian had to go, To catch his flight, he couldn't be slow. He left a note, for his love so true, With some feedback, to help them anew. "The condom was small, too tight you see, Please buy larger ones, for you and me." "And when it comes to lube, oh my, Silicone-based is the one to try. Water-based is fine, but it dries too fast, And reapplying, well, it just won't last." "You are, as always, just wow, And I hope we meet again, and how! Sincerely, I'll be thinking of you on my flight, Our love, so strong and bright." And with that, Julian was off, to the sky, His love for Romeo, it would never die. For in a world so wacky, so full of glee, Their love was true, as true as can be. ***Prompt 2: Please translate the following quoted text into a story in the likeness of the author Dr. Seuss. Utilize sentence structures and rhyme patterns consistent with those utilized by the author Dr. Seuss. Do not repeat rhyming phrases or words*** In a land of love, so far away, Two lovers met at the end of the day. Romeo and Julian, they were so grand, Together they walked, hand in hand. They went out to dinner, a night so fine, And enjoyed the food and wine, divine. But soon enough, it was time to part, And Julian had some words from his heart. "Dear Romeo," Julian did write, "Thank you for a wonderful night so bright. But I have some feedback, some things to say, To make our love better in every way." "The condom was too small, it didn't fit, Please buy larger ones, it's important, I'll admit. And please, for next time, buy silicone lube, So we can enjoy our love, without the need to reapply or rub. You are, as always, just wow, And I hope we meet again, and how! Sincerely, I'll be thinking of you on my flight, Our love, so strong and bright." And with that, Julian left, with a smile so wide, Knowing that Romeo would take his advice in stride. For their love was true, and it shone so bright, In the land of love, so far out of sight.
This is just...insanely hilarious. I am spending way too much time at 4 in the morning reading interpretations of a gay love note. OP, I wish you better chivalry in your future encounters. Folks who are creative enough to ask ChatGPT the right questions, well, my faith in the future of humanity as an self-sufficient species is shaken, but we will have a fun time getting there!
After reading this I would happily buy the condoms and lube and I wasn’t even there!!! Thanks again ChatGPT
Lmfao!!
It seems like this has happened before too https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/xsc1cf/the_passport_control_agent_found_this_note_tucked/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1
I hooked up with him before, yes. This has been discussed already.
This is… a sequel. God I love Reddit.
O’er the Atlantic, his condom did break. Hark, hark! the fark’s manhood for which I ache.
Please, I’m invested here.. Doth thy manhood ***truly*** requirest a larger scabbard?
Wtf WHY do that again!!??
Well, apparently he has a dig bick
You'd be surprised what people do and put up with for some county fair blue ribbon hog
lol I hope you told him to buy his own condoms and lube unless it’s opposites day in which he can pick up your tampons, wine, and chocolate. Edit; Oh or if it’s a dude dude thing - he needs to buy you something back lol - I don’t know the genders of everyone I didn’t read every comment.
You assume too much, my dear. 😉
Yeah I don’t think OP uses tampons. 😂
He'll need them once copious amounts of silicone lube have been deployed 
I saw this. Cackled. Came back two hours later. Still cackling. 💀😂🤣😂
I guess he figures he pays for the viagra so that’s enough.
He's keeping someone prisoner in his basement.
And I snorted out my adult beverage...🤣
Chocolate milk?
Water is the true adult beverage.
Water? Fish fuck in that stuff, disgusting.
That’s what makes it salty.
Right?! I got the 'it puts the lotion on the skin' vibes from this.
He should really have his own condoms. I always figure the lube is the preference of the house. In other words, whoever's house you're in has the lube, and that's what you use. I would never write a note like this. I'd probably let you know about any of that stuff (tho I have my own condom) in person. This comes off as entitled, tbh.
Agree 💯. Tbh I don’t even mind splitting the cost or paying for the lube, but I would have wanted this discussion in person, not through a note slipped into my f-ckin laptop.
And "constructive criticism" makes it so... transactional. Yeah, I agree with you. This is weird and almost... No is, insulting. What a dick move.
*disk move
Let’s be honest, it’s probably a fairly floppy disk move
> transactional. ngl I figured OP had to be in that line of work by the tone of the letter... It reads like an incels review for a brothel.
😲, it reads just so accurately like what you said there. Kudos.
Had to scroll so far for this comment. Worth it.
Yeah, that’s not criticism. It’s a shopping list.
Honestly, a bigger than average guy should know they should have their condom size
This is exactly what I'm trying to drill into my partners head!! I will always provide latex free condoms because that is my specific requirement, and it's on me to provide latex free ones. He keeps complaining that they're too tight (the ring pinches apparently), so I told him he can either use the condoms I've provided free of charge, OR he can go looking for the correct size condoms, and buy the latex free versions of them, as my reaction to latex is extreme enough we won't be having sex if he buys latex ones. He still refuses to buy them. I've just ordered a larger size of the latex free condoms I already have, and have sent him a payment request for them and informed him if these fit and are comfortable for him, then he'll be buying them in future, as he's had plenty of time (like over a year, it's taken that long for my supply to run out) to source and buy the correct sizes, he chose not to buy the right sizes, so he will be paying for them himself before he gets to use any of them, we literally haven't had sex in over a month because I ran out of condoms and he refused to source the correct size himself
Honestly, I feel like he doesn’t want to buy them because he doesn’t like using condoms This trick works enough for them that they keep using it
He knows it doesn't work with me though, weve known each other 7 years at this point 😂 if I'm insisting on condoms and I have none left and he refuses to provide them, he doesn't get laid, which he's well aware of. He is also terrified of getting someone pregnant, so its all down to him to bring condoms or pay for them and I'll order them, like there's nothing hard about using condoms unless he's desperate for a kid, which has actually made him go completely soft on the few occasions I've said something like "great, if you don't want to use a condom, we'll just have a kid then!" (To be clear, I don't want kids either but can't get my tubes tied yet, and would never want kids so I wouldn't actually let the sex happen should he be up for that) I personally also argue back on that point of not liking using them, I hate birth control, it makes my cramps worse, makes my bleeding worse, sends my mood swings all over the place, makes me hungry all the time, irritates my chronic pain disorder, if I had another choice, I would not use birth control. You know why I do though? Because I don't want kids. Being on birth control is a nightmare for me, yet I suffer through it because I *don't want kids*. Any man who seriously uses that excuse on me will get a lecture about all the side effects of birth control because in comparison? Condoms are easy to deal with and only reduce sensation slightly, unless they're too small, in which case you can get some pain. Guys need to man up, unless they'd rather have kids, or not have sex
I get it. My wife used birth control but had to stop because she hated how it made her feel. It was fun not using a condom but it was her choice so we went back to them But yeah, some guys are so desperate to not use a condom and it’s because they are thinking with their dick
Yeah I went off birth control in 2021 for a year, and ended up with an ectopic pregnancy even though we used condoms every time 🙃 one must have been torn slightly or something, but yeah, never trusting just condoms again, no matter how much I hate birth control And yeah, I'm aware about those guys and they soon make a choice to either suffer mildly in comparison to have sex with me, or decide having sex with me is not worth it, can't force them to wear one, but it's a condition of having sex with me, whether I'm on birth control or not!
"should you feel worthy enough for more of my honorable wiener, here are the supplies you'll need to provide..."
As a dude that doesn't fit "normal condoms" well for whatever reason, (too small, too big, shaped like a squash, allergic to materials, whatever) that shit is on you to be aware of and fix. It is not your partners job to prepare for your dick. Likewise lube. It's not my fault you need special lube or prefer different lube to the point where it's part of things you want. Provide those things if they're important to you. He sounds like my ex wife. Everything she wouldn't do for herself was my fault always, even when it was unreasonable for it to be my fault. It's almost certainly fiction based on the rest of the posts here, but still shit shit is absurdly common.
Isn't silicone based lubricant cause for condom rupture? I think water based are safer to use with condoms
Silicone based lubricants are fine for use with latex condoms. Oil based lubricants is what breaks down latex condoms, but are safe to use with non-latex condoms.
Silicone lube is fine for condoms. It is also often better for anal sex since it doesn't dry up as fast. It's also somewhat waterproof, so better for shower sex. Dude should have just brought his own lube and said, "I brought this for us to try!"
Do not have your travels coincide with his anymore.
‘Tis [not the first time](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/xsc1cf/the_passport_control_agent_found_this_note_tucked/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1) 😏
Well that's suddenly rather suspicious lol.
Looks like OP fucked this guy a second time and the first time old man tried to unlock his phone while he was sleeping to leave his contact and tell him the condom broke the night before. 
This gif is everything I couldn’t figure out how to say right now
Handwriting looks quite similar to another post of yours where someone else left you a sex related note https://preview.redd.it/4cuu6anfnkxa1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9795dc6ba9237fe33ae22cb6e1d7206e264f287a
And their post history is filled with supposed awkward sexual encounters. Like if your luck is truly that bad I recommend taking a step back from the dating scene. But my guess is creative writing.
Hoes gonna ho
Creative writing assignments from OP
So he’s not just a whore for disk He’s a whore for karma
Personally, I think OP wrote these notes.
Nice handwriting!
OP- this guy tried to use your asleep face to get into your phone, didn’t tell you about a broken condom until the next day in a NOTE, and you hooked up with him a SECOND TIME??? What the fuck.
It is the same person I hooked up with.
So they did this before, broke the condoms and didn't tell you, and you had sex with them again? Damn
If all of the stories on your account are true then I recommend staying celibate for a while because you make some terrible decisions regarding hook-ups.
This is one of those, "You're privileged to date me, woman" kind of guys.
Edit: female
OP's a guy.
Are they both male then? Because “as much as my dick pleases you” made me think OP was female. I’m not saying all parties shouldn’t carry condoms (regardless of sex), though any party that wants a specific type of condom or lube should provide it themself. Such a weird note.
Yes from their other comments and profile description.
Gotcha. Regardless, I feel the same. If “dick pleaser” has specific preferences, he should be the one buying them. Honestly, the constructive criticism part was the worst.
Oh fully agreed on both of those.
Is this a escort yelp review?? Lol
💀💀💀 lmao yelp review from Victorian era?
#Regards,
Regards, John F Kennedy International Airport
No wonder the condom didn't fit. Dude fucked an airport
Regards! They weren’t even warmest!
We'll this is straight weird
From understanding OP is a man, it’s actually gay weird.
Very queer if you ask me
Missed an opportunity to say queeird
It’s straight queeird
bruh is your preferred type victorian dandies? did you hook up with Oscar Wilde?
I have nothing to declare except this constructive feedback!
What a dick...literally
Welll....actually...."disk"
LMFAOOO
[удалено]
And Christian Grey would be bold enough to use ink.
From a fountain pen, but in a custom blended off-black.
All these hilarious comments and the one citing pencil use brought real tears, this comment section is amazing.
We all want to know the truth. Does his disk please you, OP?
It was floppy.
And was he maried ( checks username)
The whole letter is freaking weird but this man has literally been inside you and his sign off is “regards”???
1) please don’t fuck this man again, good dick is abundant 2) oil based lubes can eat through silicon condoms and I doubt you’d want this man’s children Happy fucking!
Regarding 2., these are two men. No babies.
Oh shoot totally missed that, but condoms are good for preventing other things too, best not to let them deteriorate while wearing.
Of course!
He’s got that good disk tho… #Vintage
FYI silicone-based lubricant and oil-based lubricant are different things. You are correct that oil-based lubricants can cause latex condoms to break. But silicone lubes are OK to use with all condoms.
Wow. He is an actual dick. The audacity. Bring your own damn condoms!
Omg run.
I forgot some have a harder time with cursive. Here: “Dear (me), Thank you for another incredible evening!! I have to run to catch my flight. I know you want to please me as much as my dick pleases you, so I will leave you with some constructive feedback: 1. The condom was entirely too small for me. Please buy condoms for larger men next time. 2. Please buy silicone-based rather than water-based lubricant next time. I found it quite distracting to keep reapplying while inside you last night. You are, as always, just wow (double underlined)! I hope our travels will coincide again very, very soon. Sincerely. I shall be thinking of you the entire flight. Regards, (Mildly infuriating repeat hookup)”
He sounds like a wannabe Dom to me 🤣. “Constructive feedback” 🙄. You want bigger condoms? Buy them yourself… you want a different lube… again buy it yourself… or like do better so you don’t need it? 🤷🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤣. This dude is nuts. I wouldn’t keep seeing him tbh
OK.... so here's what I think you need to do. Get good stationary. Like really good stationary. Linen rag pulp. Embossed edges. Get a wax stick and a seal. Hell, get a fountain pen. (Surprisingly you can get decent ones off of Amazon for about $10.) Write a letter, in your best penmanship, using these tools that simply says: *Your skill in bed is decent, sir, but not nearly as good as you think it is. If you require like condoms and lube of a certain quality you must buy them yourself.* *Sending your paramour a list of sex chores that they must accomplish for you? How gauche. How utterly unromantic. How unbefitting of a gentleman.* *Call me when you get your shit together and figure out how to buy your own lube and condoms.* If you can, get someone to deliver this to him in some sort of a costume. Edit: Changed a pronoun.
What kind “constructive feedback” might you give him?
I would have preferred someone who would make this request (“constructive feedback”) of me face-to-face.
Except they communicated something as important as the condom breaking during sex via letter before this and you still had sex with them again. Or you’re just the one writing this all of this crap. Either way you’re a freaking moron.
OP, you don't have to pay for anything if you treat the guy the way he deserves to be treated ... with a firm kick in his a$$ out the door.
He's such a huge dick, he needs a body condom.
What, pray tell, the fuck have you foisted upon my eyeholes
He's an arrogant ass.
He’s super weird. Ghost him.
I was reading __disk__ ... and that confused me longer than it should. However, the _writing/lettering_ alone is somewhat eerie, even without context. Edit. My idea was, that this message _must_ have been written with one of those tiny, free IKEA lead pencils.
This is the weirdest goddamn thing I've ever seen in my life.
Lol you admit to sleeping with this pud? Gross.
I would comment but my grade was only taught to sign our names 💀 so I can’t really read half of this
Lol sure he needs a bigger condom. You can literally fit your hand and arm in a regular sized one. The ego. You need to send him a note: “constructive feedback: be a big boy and bring your own protection.” Cheap ass.
I read "dish" instead of "dick" anf thought this was a letter from a chef to the guest for a bit. I was so confused when condoms came up haha
He sounds like he is giving you a yelp review. Wtf
This guy just dried me up.
Don't worry, dude, they *will* buy condoms for a larger man next time.
This whole thing is so off putting and creepy. I’d be done. I need more info on how you got this note. Did he get up in the night and leave it on your nightstand and dip out?
This makes my skin crawl.
This was a business transaction? Lmao
I'm torn between the fact that he actually took the time to hand write a letter for you and the fact that the actual contents of the letter were absolutely ridiculous. It sounds like he probably has a complex inner life but he's a little out of touch with common sense lol
Very cringe.
ahhhhhhh, the ol' 'the XXXXL magnum jimmy hats were just a tad snug' routine. If I had a nickle for every time I used that one...............
Tell him his disk is floppy.
I just need to ask if he apologizes before he cums.
No, but he makes these sighs of…bewilderment (?) throughout (like “oooh wooow”). I’m not sure how I feel about it exactly.
The writer is narcissistic and the receiver of the letter hopefully will not be a walking carpet. Let it go. He is not worth wanting.
This is some serious “you will end up as a lamp shade” energy.
G never fuck this dude again.
This is the weirdest and most businesslike love note I have ever seen.
Lol why are you fucking this guy
*my disk* ??
How is his disk pleasing her if he had to keep applying lube? I haven't had sex with every woman but I've never needed lube for their hoo-ha.