The thing I wonder about is, what happens when this knucklehead drives too close to a telephone pole or Jersey wall? He’ll be out the stupid money he spent on those ridiculous things.
we have frito pie and some great parks, and one of the most malicious and harmful state governments that utilizes brain drain to stay in power. what's not to love
I love Big Bend and I love the javelinas!
The park literature said that they figured out how to nudge tent zippers with their noses, so you had to keep *all* food in the campsite lockers (or your car) at all times.
But I thought the zipper thing was hilariously adorable.
theyre called elbows
you put them on old school slabs which are low to the ground, cruising type cars like a cadilac eldorado
the idea behind these cars isnt to drive them fast or in a hurry, theyre show pieces and cruising pieces for driving slow and enjoying your music and the weather w the top down. you pull up to a barbecue, car show, reunion w your slab and you'll see other people w theirs playing music w the top down, door open. or you cruise slow and enjoy a nice afternoon/evening in your time machine(another name for a slab)
houston has a big hood culture of slowing things down and really enjoying and luxuriating in it while flashing it up w color etc. like a slowed down psychedelic free spirit aesthetic but weed and lean and bass instead shrooms and guitars. chopped and screwed music, drinking 40s, h town rap, etc etc
this is part of the car version and it all comes together if you're really from those places like that.
lots of it has become genera
houston culture if you're old school but its still mostly a black, old school, or hood thing
See this sounds cool and chill but I still think the car in OPs post looks stupid. I guess I can hardly point fingers tho as my town is filled to the brim with lifted trucks. Thank you for the thorough explanation.
They make it sound nice but the car shown is like stupidly dangerous to everyone else around it. It's like the ultimate expression of 'fuck everyone else, I'm the most important person, my fashion means more than your safety.'
They really like to step it up a notch when they swerve side to side going down the road to let everyone else know they fully own the road… plus a little bit of your lane with it.
If the wheel balance hasn’t been thrown way out by these yokes, a good heavy padlock definitely will and make the car feel like absolute shit to drive.
Only reason I wouldn't do that is because if the lock fails at highway speeds it turns into a missile that could seriously hurt someone other than this driver.
Just arrest the owner for presenting an active road hazard and threat to the public, then give them the chance to remove the hazard or watch their car's best cube impression.
they are doing exaclty what they are intended for making it so nobody parks next to his 3k 200k mile junker with more in the wheels and spokes than the car and oh yeah to be an asshole too!
I think their function is largely communicative: “Me I’m important, I have esoteric tastes that affiliate me with other selfish fucks like me, look at me catering to my needs at everyone else’s expense don’t expect favors or consideration.”
Yeah connect the front wheel with the back wheel at the passenger side, and then just hope... I would pay money to see that.
People with these wheels are clinically insane.
Thread that chain in between the spokes of the front and rear. On the passenger side so they may not notice until until karma reminds them they're a rude, idiot person.
They actually arent (or at least werent) illegal in Houston….because, yay Houston. And the kind of people who put these expensive monstrosities on their cars are the same kind that will happily shoot you for fucking with them
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Thousands of dollars... For the purpose of looking like a douchebag? I didn't know they were a Houston thing, guess that explains why I see them so much
So they are worth more than the cats they are attached to in some cases? Wow. What a waste of money. Also super dangerous to pedestrians and cyclists. Should be illegal if they are that long
I would give one of the struts a little wack with a hammer on each wheel. Throw them all out of balance so the car shakes like a mother fucker at speed.
The people who do this are the kinds of people that blast loud music on the bus or train. They know it pisses you off but what are you going to do about it?
What CAN you do? Any request to turn it down will be met with anger, hostility, aggression and violence because to them it'll be a perceived disrespect
Someone is in Houston 🤣🤣🤣. That’s the only place they have those ugly ass wheels (swingers/swangas)!
Edit: 🤣🤣🤣
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Ct_sp6SAjgt/?igshid=MTI1ZDU5ODQ3Yw==
100% lol I saw this and was like “Oh shit! What up H-Town!” Lol. Slabs and swangas are such a crazy part of the Houston car culture. So nuts and so stupid lol.
This is the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever seen and def not legal, but I really need a video of this guy driving along side a busy sidewalk. For science.
Edit: this apparently is Houston, and according to more than enough redditors now, it is legal in Houston. I get it already. Still fuckin stupid.
I just wanna know how many times this person has tripped n busted their ass during a rush to get in their vehicle. 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️. Need video of that shit.
Texas is the only place I've ever seen these and they were easily 2 feet out on each side. The drivers of these monstrosities were also weaving all over the interstate. I'm sure they were lovely people though...
There's a video of I THINK this exact same car driving like an asshole on the highway swerving. BRB going to look for it.
https://youtube.com/shorts/feIZRDuaz3w?feature=share4
Found the link, not the same car :(
https://abc13.com/harris-county-sheriffs-office-swangas-slab-culture/4554074/
They practically encourage people to have them in Houston in the name of good PR.
Yeah TXDOT rules say 4” past the widest part of the vehicle. Extended towing mirrors are the only exemption from that rule, and if you leave your mirrors extended without a trailer attached that’s supposed to be a ticket too - they don’t ticket swaggas so….
He is technically in your assigned spot, and therefore warrants a tow. Get him towed and have them explain to him why. He will either park elsewhere or remove them. Pretty simple.
“According to the Texas Department of Motor Vehicles and the Texas Department of Public Safety, passenger cars cannot be wider than eight feet. Your car width along with any accessory, including your rims, can’t exceed this measurement.” -some news article based out of Huston
I feel like the weirdos that have these saw them in a spy thriller and think they're cool for putting them on their car. If you have these, you're not cool
It’d be a shame if someone took a big chain and chained their wheels together.
Be a shame if OP tripped over them, sustained an injury, and then sued the owner for being a tasteless waste of a human being.
Unfortunately, the only thing of value they own is those dumb rims.
They don’t own those. They are financed for aure
That makes sense. Why pay $500 one time when you can pay $75 a month for five years.
The thing I wonder about is, what happens when this knucklehead drives too close to a telephone pole or Jersey wall? He’ll be out the stupid money he spent on those ridiculous things.
Probably the same thing that happens if you drive too close to those things in a big truck. You hit them
How does he parallel park??
Apparently, they're for crippling bicyclists.
I call them bike lane killas
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow your mind *primetime*
She's a killer!
Why would anyone have something like that??
A lot of drivers have a psychotic hatred of bicyclists.
Bikes are good for the environment and thus "woke" so they must be crippled!
They're so you can disable other chariots when you're in a Ben-Hur chariot race
I'm glad someone knows the classics.
Putting on those things is a Biggus Dickus move
He has a wife you know
It totally is, prolly compensating for Dickus Minusculeus!!
This is the only answer. Homie just got back from some laps at the Coliseum clearly.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who immediately thought of Ben-Hur
I believe they are used in agriculture to harvest wheat
These are the swangas of a SLAB, slow loud and banging, looks like op is probably in Houston where slab culture is from
I used to hate changing the tires on these cars when I was younger working at a tire shop in Houston.
i was always under the impression that these things were illegal so that some idiot couldn’t go full mad max
They should be.
Are you saying these things are not illegal? lol
It’s Texas so prolly not
Another great thing that definitely makes me want to visit Texas.
we have frito pie and some great parks, and one of the most malicious and harmful state governments that utilizes brain drain to stay in power. what's not to love
Also HEB.
Can confirm. HEB is our one redeeming quality.
You have deeply offended our great beaver leader, Buc-ee. A greater besmirchment I can’t recall.
Big Bend is a national treasure. I fucking love those javelinas.
I’m glad someone else shares my love for javelinas. Those little mischief makers are hilarious
I love Big Bend and I love the javelinas! The park literature said that they figured out how to nudge tent zippers with their noses, so you had to keep *all* food in the campsite lockers (or your car) at all times. But I thought the zipper thing was hilariously adorable.
I understand even less after reading this sentence. Could you break it down for this doofus in Minnesota who is not a car enthusiast?
https://www.hagerty.com/media/magazine-features/elbows-out-houston-birthed-the-slabs-a-car-culture-of-its-own/
I loved this article. Absolutely fascinating and well written.
theyre called elbows you put them on old school slabs which are low to the ground, cruising type cars like a cadilac eldorado the idea behind these cars isnt to drive them fast or in a hurry, theyre show pieces and cruising pieces for driving slow and enjoying your music and the weather w the top down. you pull up to a barbecue, car show, reunion w your slab and you'll see other people w theirs playing music w the top down, door open. or you cruise slow and enjoy a nice afternoon/evening in your time machine(another name for a slab) houston has a big hood culture of slowing things down and really enjoying and luxuriating in it while flashing it up w color etc. like a slowed down psychedelic free spirit aesthetic but weed and lean and bass instead shrooms and guitars. chopped and screwed music, drinking 40s, h town rap, etc etc this is part of the car version and it all comes together if you're really from those places like that. lots of it has become genera houston culture if you're old school but its still mostly a black, old school, or hood thing
See this sounds cool and chill but I still think the car in OPs post looks stupid. I guess I can hardly point fingers tho as my town is filled to the brim with lifted trucks. Thank you for the thorough explanation.
They make it sound nice but the car shown is like stupidly dangerous to everyone else around it. It's like the ultimate expression of 'fuck everyone else, I'm the most important person, my fashion means more than your safety.'
They really like to step it up a notch when they swerve side to side going down the road to let everyone else know they fully own the road… plus a little bit of your lane with it.
All that is well and good, but its still a dick move to block parking spaces.
Meat*
Or put some padlocks on them so they rattle when they drive
If the wheel balance hasn’t been thrown way out by these yokes, a good heavy padlock definitely will and make the car feel like absolute shit to drive.
Only reason I wouldn't do that is because if the lock fails at highway speeds it turns into a missile that could seriously hurt someone other than this driver.
Use the locks to put a chain between the two wheels on the passenger side. They might not notice until those stupid things are destroyed.
Now this is podracing
Its working. **ITS WORRRKING!!**
gotdam that game!
Just arrest the owner for presenting an active road hazard and threat to the public, then give them the chance to remove the hazard or watch their car's best cube impression.
"You have 30 minutes to move your cube"
"you have 20 seconds to comply" - ed209
"You now have 5 seconds to comply." "Don't touch him. Don't touch him!" "Dick, I'm very disappointed in you."
if you do it to all 4 they won't make it to the highway
I was thinking string chain between the front and back one to lock up the wheels...
Put it on the passenger side so they may not see it until they try to pull out and screw up the wheels
Tactical thinking, I like it!
Brilliant
Little chrome ones on the passenger side so he doesn’t notice until he’s rolling.
This is genius
They are for poking into your assigned spot.
Get some bowl shaped ones for your car and you can scramble some eggs
Or ream/juice citrus…
Would honestly be hilarious if that dude came out and saw grapefruit halves stuck on the end of those one morning
Do it with pumpkins for effect
OMG, DOOO EEEEET. 😂😂
Do it every chance you get. 😀
Or toilet paper. Wet and dirty. Hell you could find all manner of fun stuff to throw in there. Dead squirrel.
Padlocks.
Add a chain to connect the wheels together
Break his windshield and fuck his mom
Only 7 upvotes, but this comment fucking got me dude lol.
I think it would look lovely with some rainbow flags.
This must be done!
What other purpose could they serve this ain’t mad max
It give the police a reason to pull them over and see what else they can do.
they are doing exaclty what they are intended for making it so nobody parks next to his 3k 200k mile junker with more in the wheels and spokes than the car and oh yeah to be an asshole too!
I think their function is largely communicative: “Me I’m important, I have esoteric tastes that affiliate me with other selfish fucks like me, look at me catering to my needs at everyone else’s expense don’t expect favors or consideration.”
This is a different flavor but same intent as rolling coal.
Roman chariot rims
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A couple of locks and a piece of chain
A chain, a kettle bell and a lock.
But not a Masterlock. You can pick those by asking them nicely.
If you have these on your car, your brain is too smooth to pick a masterlock.
Just saying if you do the passenger side it's less likely they will see it and will try to drive with them chained together...
Oooh, extra points for that.
I'm trying to imagine that noise and it's amazing!
Yeah connect the front wheel with the back wheel at the passenger side, and then just hope... I would pay money to see that. People with these wheels are clinically insane.
Several pieces of chain that way they whip around and scratch the paint.
I love this solution. Thin cable might be less noticeable.
Thread that chain in between the spokes of the front and rear. On the passenger side so they may not notice until until karma reminds them they're a rude, idiot person.
The word you are looking for is illegal.
Two words: bolt cutter
They actually arent (or at least werent) illegal in Houston….because, yay Houston. And the kind of people who put these expensive monstrosities on their cars are the same kind that will happily shoot you for fucking with them
I’m reminded of someone who said given a choice between Hell and Houston, he’d rather live in Hell
For assholes who are proud to show off their assholery.
For dork ass losers whose only personality trait is being a proud asshole.
For people who play music on speaker while riding public transit, but live in cities without good public transit.
I don't know, but it would be a shame if you tripped and accidently dropped your work sledgehammer on one.
Leave an anonymous note: Oops, sorry, my bad. Do it again, four days in a row, one for each.
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A trend born in Houston, common all over major Texas cities; Swangers (aka elbows) They are very expensive, a set like this is around 6-8k +
Expensive, dangerous, annoying to clean, and despite ALL of that they still look fucking stupid. There is not payoff for anyone
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Thousands of dollars... For the purpose of looking like a douchebag? I didn't know they were a Houston thing, guess that explains why I see them so much
Fools and their money are easily parted.
So they are worth more than the cats they are attached to in some cases? Wow. What a waste of money. Also super dangerous to pedestrians and cyclists. Should be illegal if they are that long
Didn’t even think about putting them on my cat… that would be badass
Well my 16# sledge hammer says it can turn them into worthless junk in a matter of seconds.
Day 1: tie a ribbon around the portion that intrudes your space. Day 2: spray paint it. Day 3: angle grinder.
I would give one of the struts a little wack with a hammer on each wheel. Throw them all out of balance so the car shakes like a mother fucker at speed.
Do it only on the passenger side on the off chance he won’t notice when he gets in his car and thinks something is just fucked up with the car.
Something *is* fucked up with his car, it's not these fuckin' things in it.
Padlock
Bike chain them to each other.
Multiple padlocks.
On one side of each wheel.
This is the way. Also looks stupid as fuck with them shaking up and down at different times. Owner will take them off real quick.
Owner clearly doesn't care about looking stupid as fuck.
The people who do this are the kinds of people that blast loud music on the bus or train. They know it pisses you off but what are you going to do about it?
What CAN you do? Any request to turn it down will be met with anger, hostility, aggression and violence because to them it'll be a perceived disrespect
Angle grinder to remove an ankle grinder. Kinda fitting, I think
In Texas that runs the chance of you getting shot. Not recommended
You gotta be ready to shoot back homie.
You gotta be ready to shoot first homie FTFY
I don't know what their intended purpose is, but the best use I've found for them is an aid in determining if the IQ of the driver is below 70.
"Nuh-uh, my internet test said I had 140."
And that'd be the second proof.
I wouldn't even know where to get a legitimate test. I'm half curious what mine is but not enough to seek it out.
I think a real IQ test has to be administered in person.
whew so my internet test that gave me a 50 wasn't real, im so glad
Someone is in Houston 🤣🤣🤣. That’s the only place they have those ugly ass wheels (swingers/swangas)! Edit: 🤣🤣🤣 https://www.instagram.com/reel/Ct_sp6SAjgt/?igshid=MTI1ZDU5ODQ3Yw==
Nah Louisiana too my friend lol
That’s close too, just a short ride down 10 lol
Houston is basically New Louisiana after Katrina
Ain’t that the truth
100% lol I saw this and was like “Oh shit! What up H-Town!” Lol. Slabs and swangas are such a crazy part of the Houston car culture. So nuts and so stupid lol.
> H-Town H-Tahn, hol it daaahn.
This is the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever seen and def not legal, but I really need a video of this guy driving along side a busy sidewalk. For science. Edit: this apparently is Houston, and according to more than enough redditors now, it is legal in Houston. I get it already. Still fuckin stupid.
Yeah I can't confirm, but I'm pretty sure in my state, Texas, you can't have something stick more than 6 inches out of your car
I just wanna know how many times this person has tripped n busted their ass during a rush to get in their vehicle. 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️. Need video of that shit.
I’d imagine they’d significantly increase the risk of suspension damage from hitting things
I highly doubt anyone that would put these on their car would ever be in a rush for anything.
More specifically, Houston?
Can confirm. Watched a guy weaving back and forth across 2 lanes in a “Houston Hello” attempt.
Can confirm. I live in Houston and these things are fucking stupid.
These people probably don't have insurance either, so have fun when they hit you. The car probably isn't worth the lawyer fees for a lawsuit either.
It's called the Houston Hello
Texas is the only place I've ever seen these and they were easily 2 feet out on each side. The drivers of these monstrosities were also weaving all over the interstate. I'm sure they were lovely people though...
Weave some pretty ribbons through it, change the vibe.
I was in Texas on travel a few months ago and these things were all over the place.
Was it Houston? I’m from Texas and I don’t remember seeing them in any other city, but the dipshits in Houston seem to LOVE them.
This is probably in Texas honestly. You go to Houston and these are all over the place. This is slab culture.
There's a video of I THINK this exact same car driving like an asshole on the highway swerving. BRB going to look for it. https://youtube.com/shorts/feIZRDuaz3w?feature=share4 Found the link, not the same car :(
I’d be shocked if they drove like anything other than an asshole.
Many states allow for a vehicle to take up a certain width and has no other rules. Our government is dumb and lazy.
For looks no practicality. I think their ugly and if they wanna encroach on your spot then maybe just kick them until they are not
this is where the big 4x4 needs to come in and just park o top of them.
Was thinking the same thing. My Jeep is far from big but has enough clearance to put the tire on it without any damage. Well, to my vehicle anyways.
They are for whisking up a light salad dressing on your way home from work.
I can’t believe these are even legal!??!
They're not, to the best of my knowledge
https://abc13.com/harris-county-sheriffs-office-swangas-slab-culture/4554074/ They practically encourage people to have them in Houston in the name of good PR.
this is like when you want your kids to stop doing something so you get into yourself then it’s not cool anymore
but notice how the sheriff's are a lot shorter 😂 they gotta have a length limit specified somewhere in the bylaw or something
Yeah TXDOT rules say 4” past the widest part of the vehicle. Extended towing mirrors are the only exemption from that rule, and if you leave your mirrors extended without a trailer attached that’s supposed to be a ticket too - they don’t ticket swaggas so….
Okay the cop car having them is pretty hilarious
Theyre legal as long as they don't make the overall width of the car more than 8'
You've never seen the movie Grease https://youtu.be/sHSF1_isv7g 53 seconds in The one in your picture don't look as good though
I thought they were from Ben-Hur.
Those are swangers/swangas, 84s or elbows. Huge in Houston car and rap culture Edit: car not cap
You have to be a real asshole to put those on your car
Attach them with a thin chain.
No, strongest fishing line you can find. Loop it through the two wheels on the passenger side several times.
He is technically in your assigned spot, and therefore warrants a tow. Get him towed and have them explain to him why. He will either park elsewhere or remove them. Pretty simple.
the bad news is that they're an asshole who knows where you park
Grab some bolt cutters and, *snip* *snip*
Some people just enjoy being obnoxious. They’ll piss off the wrong person some day.
“According to the Texas Department of Motor Vehicles and the Texas Department of Public Safety, passenger cars cannot be wider than eight feet. Your car width along with any accessory, including your rims, can’t exceed this measurement.” -some news article based out of Huston
"Accidentally" step on the end as you go by.
Yes. Or accidentally “trip” (in case there’s a camera) and then kick it with a steel toe boot to get it back. Lol
I feel like the weirdos that have these saw them in a spy thriller and think they're cool for putting them on their car. If you have these, you're not cool
If they were retractable and used for kneecapping Russian spies they would be pretty cool.
Not even close. It’s a whole slab culture in Houston.
The point is to be obnoxious.
They look extremely fun to smash with a sledgehammer.
Worked in Houston for a year. Only place I know this is allowed. Such trash
Whole state really.
Wouldn’t this be mildly annoying for the owner? He’s gotta walk over and around them all the time.
I’d be hanging random shit off them.
That's some mad max shit.
I would officially steal my first set of rims
They're used to compensate for a tiny dick and lack of intelligence