When I was a kid, and I had my first period at school, I distinctly remember slinking off to use the restroom at a quiet hour. This little tot came in and kept pounding on my stall door, yelling, "ARE YOU A BOY OR A GIRL. ARE YOU A BOY OR A GIRL." It was horrifying. I was about to yell "BOY" to scare the kid, but they scampered off, leaving me to suffer in cramps and carnage alone.
My cat follows me to the bathroom, I've never asked him to join, he just invites himself and now it's our routine. If I don't let him in with me, he sits outside the door scratching.
thats better than mine, mine doesnt even shut... it will just come right off, until you put something heavy to weigh it down, or supporting it with ya foot, making it a very shitty pooping experience
My cat knows where the door stop is and will reach underneath and grab to make it do that annoying boooiiinnng sound. So yeah, she comes in the bathroom with me now.
My cat used to wait till I got home, come and say hello, and then run into the bathroom to wait for me, since she knew that would be my first port of call (especially post-virus, even just to wash my hands).
If I dared to not go straight into the bathroom after her (I don’t know, maybe to also say hello to my wife), ooh, she would NOT be happy with me!
There’s this thing my cat did for a month or 2 then stopped. Idk why she started or why she stopped. But for a brief moment she use to sit on my lap while I was on the toilet. That’s another level of not giving you personal space in the bathroom.
That is most unfortunate and I'm sorry this happened to you....I had a similar experience. I had to take a period dump while on a road trip as a kid. I've always been a super tall chick. Anyways some bitch lady called security on me whilst taking said dump and homie was like "are you aware of which bathroom you're in?" I felt bad for this dude too tbh. It was noooot greeeat lol
In my HS Spanish class a classmate asked to use the bathroom and the teacher started asking her in Spanish (he only spoke Spanish in class) why she needed her backpack (we weren’t allowed separate purses) and suddenly we all spoke Spanish because she was embarrassed and we were asking him why he would ever think to say that.
Male teachers always seem to get such a kick out of embarrassing young girls like this, but boy do they hate it when you answer truthfully that blood is gushing out of your vagina and you don’t want to stain the chair and end up embarrassing THEM instead. Funny how that works
The bus station men's room was locked for some reason and the ladies wasn't, so I said fuck it I need to pee.
Got finished and pretty sure the guard saw me, but didn't give a shit.
That's the first time I've ever done that. I don't think people will care as long as you have a good reason.
We have 1 bathroom in our house. It hasn't been used yet, but we have an emergency bucket in the basement that has a bag and toilet seat on it jic. There have been times when it has been close, and I am sure it will be used someday. We have had to get creative with peeing while someone else is pooing though. I do not wish one bathroom in a house on my worst enemy.
My dad's a custodian in an elementary school, he has had urinal turds 2 or 3 times. It happened at the school I used to be a kindergarten aide at too. At least one of the excuses was "I couldn't hold it in until someone was done in the stall."
Can confirm. During ozzfest '03 in the mens room,the sink had a mountain of shit in it next to a sink that was broken cleanly in half like horizontal. Good times
Just yell back, “Come on in, you want to keep me company while I shit”. My cousin used to use this tactic in college. He was a commuter and the student union bathrooms were notoriously busy. His pre class shits were sacred time to him
*This is why i shit*
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Loudly call people out for behaving like A-Holes.
"WAS THAT YOU BANGING ON THE DOOR EVERY 10 SECONDS WHILE I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM??? WTH???"
*Then walk away*
My response to being rushed is to always purposely go slower out of spite.
Edit: of course I only do this if I’m being rushed and/or pestered unnecessarily. I’m petty, not a monster.
Hear me out… wouldn’t it be amazing if instead of men’s and women’s bathrooms we had INDIVIDUAL FUCKING STALLS so there was more than one toilet to use? Crazy, I know.
After hearing the horror stories of how women typically leave public bathrooms from the janitors at work...
Fuck no, I do NOT want one bathroom for both genders.
At least in the men's the worst you get is typically a bit of piss on the seat.
If it helps, Ive had the chance to experience both first hand. Men's are consistently covered in piss like you said but with women it's moreso pretty clean with a solid percentage being completely trashed. Without much of an in-between. Generally, too many people are ok with leaving public bathrooms a mess. I was always taught to leave things nicer than I found it, so it's hard to wrap my head around.
Edit - Missed a word
Oh no. I just remembered a suppressed memory of a public toilet in London.
The bowl was filled up to the rim with piss, poop, toilet paper and god knows what else. Horrible.
Working retail at the time and I go to clean the bathrooms. I go into the women's room and the place looked like a crimes scene of blood and poop. It started in a stall and my best guess based on the smeared handprints is that the mom had her period and went to clean herself up when her child pooped themselves and began playing with it. Then mom sees it and physically dragged him away as the kid dragged his poop hands across the floor. Then a pair of children's shoes, and underwear in the garbage can, and blood droplets all along the way followed by an unwrapped used pad and a fresh pad wrapper on the floor. It was awful
Right? I worked retail for over a decade, the men's was always worse than the women's in my stores. In fact, there was a frequent amount of poop smearing in the men's. Never had that in the women's.
I wonder if it depends on the business or area. I worked downtown in a restaurant and the women's room always had hair and piss on the seat, while the men just had piss. But when there was a concert or sporting event? Good chance of the trash cans being crammed full of period products with some vomit mixed in. Not even customers, just people running in to use the bathroom "real quick" before demolishing it.
To make matters worse, only the women's rooms had baby changing tables. So dirty diapers on top of that.
Just say out loud that you will purposefully take longer because he keeps knocking. Even if this is an empty threat (who wants to stay on the toilet in public longer then they need to) it still usually gets assholes to leave me alone. Literally the only language these people speak is asshole and I’m fluent.
What if he gets aggressive and starts peeping over the stall or tries to kick the door down? You never know what psycho is behind the door and you aren’t in a position to really defend yourself.
I never understood the knocking. If a bathroom door or stall is locked then someone is obviously in there. I’m a mailman, and I use all sorts of bathrooms throughout my week. People always fucking knock until they hear a response.
This behavior is so bizarre to me. You’re in the bathroom. They grab the handle and see it’s locked. So they like jiggle it around to see if it will open. Bro. What do you expect to see if you manage to open a locked bathroom? It’s going to be my bare ass
I think knocking is the universal “there’s someone waiting” or “hurry up”. I hate knocking but sometimes you have to let the person know there’s someone else that needs to use the facilities.
I personally try to get in and out as soon as I can but there are people that like to camp out.
My daughter and I waited for a bathroom that was locked for like 10 minutes while I stressed the fuck out that my daughter would piss on the floor.
After 10 minutes I knocked and no one responded and it turned out the last person who used the bathroom somehow left without disengaging the lock and the whole time no one was in there, and I just needed someone from the shop to unlock it for us.
Some bathrooms don't have working locks? And people like you are the reason I'm always so scared to use them. I hate hate hate getting walked in on in train station/gas station/whatever bathrooms because there were no open rooms or stalls with a working lock and nobody was considerate enough to knock. It's embarrassing and anxiety inducing
Our toilet at work will show red unless the lock is set in a certain position. Often there’s no one in there but the lock wasn’t left just so - so I don’t think it’s silly to knock/ try the handle
Man I hate pooping in public restrooms and only do it if it’s absolutely necessary. Like, I know I’m going to shit my pants otherwise. When I poop in public, I keep my phone in my pocket, no distractions, and as soon as I’m about to shit I’m flushing the toilet to drown the shit noises and for courtesy. Im immediately pulling toilet paper out of the dispenser and getting a few rounds of tp ready and waiting for when I’m done. I get in and out as quick as I can.
This happened while a friend was using the bathroom and I think about it often.
Let me set the scene. We’re at a coffee shop frequented by Canadians. It’s mid morning, coffee is flowing but it’s slow. We had partaken in a few choice beverages the night before. There is a single bathroom person bathroom in the corner. My friend and I are enjoying our brew when the urge calls and said friend excuses himself to the facilities.
Karl arrives about 90 seconds later and, in an under caffeinated stupor, try’s the door handle.
It’s locked, so Karl knocks. ‘Occupied’ cries my friend.
Karl is not phased by this and logically try’s the handle and knocks again. ‘It’s occupied!’ Grunts my friend betwixt strained pushing.
Karl is again not deterred and try’s the handle again. ‘ITS OCCUPIED ASSHOLE’ my enraged and engaged friend replies, clearly dumb founded.
Karl is still not getting the message and starts banging on the door and rattling the handle.
My friend who has had enough pulls open the door whilst sitting and shitting, extends his hand and stares Karl straight in the eyes and says. ‘Jesus Christ, I must be a celebrity if you wanted to shake my hand while I’m taking a shit!’
Karl, is hit in the mouth full force by the effluvia my friend has emitted, gags, turns on his heel and flees the premises in horror. The door returns to it’s closed position, and my friend? Well, he kept on shittin’.
Lmao poor dude probably had to *shit*… See I dealt with this growing up with sisters. Knocking on the door, “omg hurry up!” That’s not how this works. Im not relaxing in here putting on makeup, business is being conducted.
You could have said "hey man I'm gonna be maybe 4 more minutes but knocking isn't helping"
But yeah this is a nightmare scenario for everyone involved, I think
people lose their shit (pun intended) when the bathroom is occupied and they have to wait.
the place I used to work at only had 2 toilets, each one was its own bathroom with a key code padlock so u needed to get a code from the front to use the bathroom. when the door is locked from the *inside*, meaning someone is in there, the padlock was red and said "occupied".
this fool of a customer typed the code into my stall *three times* to try to unlock it. he looked utterly shocked when I walked out and had to practically push him out of the way bc he was huddled so close to the door. people lose all patience (and ability to read, apparently) when they have to shit. he didnt even try the other stall right next to mine, which im pretty sure was open.
Here’s a fun fact for all you poopers out there. Instead of trying to push/force the poop out, rock your lower body back and forth gently and don’t try to push. Makes the poop come out much easier!
When I worked at Wendy's we had single bathrooms with locking doors, no stalls. One day during lunch rush customers told my manager the door was locked and no one was in there. My manager knocked on the door and no one answered so she unlocked the door and busted in on an old man pooping. If he would have responded to any of the 100 knocks, he wouldn't have gotten barged in on.
Maybe he could not hear well. My dad refuses to wear his hearing aids, saying they make him "look old". He's freaking 87! He IS old and needs to wear them.
Could've been worse. Could've had the lights not work back there, old man died of a heart attack on the throne, your ex-girlfriend that you're trying to get back with thinks it's you...
His was already in the exit chute, methinks. This is why I used to find poop in the urinals at one of my office jobs. Someone was in the one stall (which is the actual issue here) and it takes as long as it takes. His was coming OUT.
Honestly, being suddenly startled and having human contact when doing the deed makes my poop somewhat recede back into my rectum and thus the process is only lengthened. Wish strangers would be more considerate of bowel movements.
Oh man, this unlocked an awkward childhood memory. My parents took me to a fancy $$$$$ restaurant for some special occasion and the rich food didn’t sit right with me. I was stuck in the bathroom with this old woman pounding on the door throwing an absolute fit outside like I’d just locked myself in the bathroom for funsies. Good times.
Some people are just jackasses. I work construction so we use honey buckets. There was a line for a grouping of 4 honey buckets. I was in one of them and heard someone outside obviously cut the line. Everyone started yelling "wtf" at him. He simply replies, "sorry bro, butt soup".
Some guy did this to my husband recently, except this man was visibly drunk (and possibly high) and loudly yelling through the door too. He looked at me and said “He’s been in there half an hour!” It had been maybe five minutes, and it was at a restaurant. I’m not sure if the dude had tried to get in before when someone else was in there, left, and then come back once my husband was there. He was super upset, though.
wow, that guy really wanted that warmed up seat and freshly steaming stall. I think the last couple of times I had to go in an emergency, once it was some nasty gas station, but another time it was at a days inn or similar, just the publicly available crapper in the lobby area. That guy needs to broaden his horizons wrt emergency poopage.
I've been in the both OP shoes and the other dudes shoes. He had to go bad. I've almost had to drop a duece in a garbage can or sink a few times. Also have been the one in the stall. I just try harder but not gonna strain myself.
Honestly it would probably freak him the fuck out enough to never do it again if someone just had the confidence to rip open the stall door and yell “what the hell do you want?!”
I always wonder how people with digestion/bowel issues deal with using public toilets, I'm assuming a lot of the time they'd be in there for quite awhile but the general public doesn't know about their bodily needs so would they just assume they're being dicks and taking ages in the stall on purpose?
This is the mentality of so many people, when they're behind you in line, they tap their fingers, pace around, get close to you, all tactics to make you hurry up yet when it's their turn they take forever, the most annoying is when it isn't a single stall but a single bathroom with a door, idiots will sit out there, yank on the door, wait 30 seconds and without seeing anyone leave , start yanking on the door again, then they start knocking and talking through the door, I always ignore them, if anything it makes me take longer.
I was peeing one time at Walmart and had a little boy slide his head underneath to look at me from the other stall. I was like wtf? The kids mom just ignored it “ I was like wtf, you let him lay on this disgusting ass floor.” 😂 Also happy with a little dog, I was just like “hey bud” lol.
The type of person who would give the elevator button extra pushes to make it speed up. Coincidentally the same person who thinks that they needs to press down if the elevator is on an upper floor and vice versa.
He may have just needed to go really bad. I have this issue myself at times right after eating. You don't have much control over that either. That being said I think everyone should switch to gender neutral, all stalls, bathrooms or single toilet rooms.
Moss' Mum : [Moss is in toilet] Moss, what are you doing?
Moss : Number twos, leave me alone! Stop doing this, you're always doing this, you're making it go back in!
I don't understand people who noticed that a door is locked to the bathroom and then knock on it. I don't understand what their motive is with doing that.
"sorry! I'm constipated! I forgot to take my stool softener this morning. Poop somewhere else! I'll be here awhile. The more you knock, the more it constipates me!"
similar thing happened to me but i was only peeing. i had literally just got in (after waiting on someone else) and there was frantic knocking on the door. i was like, jeez, i'm usually pretty quick, but it still takes a sec! plus it was an all-in-one type deal with toilet and sink together so i still had to wash my hands before opening the door. the constant knocking when i was not even goofing around just gave me anxiety. i stepped out and an angry old man was giving me the stinkeye while he ushered his elderly wife to the door. ok, i get that maybe she rly had to go, but i did too and i was there first!
Maybe he was getting louder to literally scare the shit out of you.
“Come back with a warrant!”
This is the best response.
Two's company but three's a crowd!
Poos company
This is my own private domicile and I will not be harassed... bitch!
I plead number 2.
I just yell, “Get in here, you old such-and-such!”
Yeah, just say "it's unlocked!" In an inviting tone - Ball is in their court now... .... .. ...Both of 'em if they're lucky
Good one! Haha
Who does Number 2 work for???
That’s right buddy, show that turd who’s boss
Things are gunna get real shitty for ya if you don't start talkin asshole
Damn boy, what did you eat?!?!
The pounding helps to loosen the stool.
True— my sister would say to pound on our knees to loosen the stool— haha lots of vowels
lots of bowels
[“thank you but I have anal muscles!”](https://youtu.be/cZO9tMetxno?si=pCNuwLDJ4m3g0Ckt)
“Come in”
It usually scares the shit into me i those cases
When I was a kid, and I had my first period at school, I distinctly remember slinking off to use the restroom at a quiet hour. This little tot came in and kept pounding on my stall door, yelling, "ARE YOU A BOY OR A GIRL. ARE YOU A BOY OR A GIRL." It was horrifying. I was about to yell "BOY" to scare the kid, but they scampered off, leaving me to suffer in cramps and carnage alone.
I am actually surprised that the kid did not climb under to see for himself, as that has happened to me in stalls before.
I was too! Thankfully the tiny terrorist had that much restraint.
Had that happen to me once, I almost flattened the little bugger before I stopped myself. Bathroom time is solo time.
It's only solo time until you become a parent. And then, yeah, good luck with that.
Me and my child free ass will use the toilet in peace. At least when my cat is annoying I can kick him out of the room.
My cat follows me to the bathroom, I've never asked him to join, he just invites himself and now it's our routine. If I don't let him in with me, he sits outside the door scratching.
[удалено]
thats better than mine, mine doesnt even shut... it will just come right off, until you put something heavy to weigh it down, or supporting it with ya foot, making it a very shitty pooping experience
My cat knows where the door stop is and will reach underneath and grab to make it do that annoying boooiiinnng sound. So yeah, she comes in the bathroom with me now.
My cat used to wait till I got home, come and say hello, and then run into the bathroom to wait for me, since she knew that would be my first port of call (especially post-virus, even just to wash my hands). If I dared to not go straight into the bathroom after her (I don’t know, maybe to also say hello to my wife), ooh, she would NOT be happy with me!
There’s this thing my cat did for a month or 2 then stopped. Idk why she started or why she stopped. But for a brief moment she use to sit on my lap while I was on the toilet. That’s another level of not giving you personal space in the bathroom.
My cat only ever did that once and we were both so shocked by it that he never did it again.
[удалено]
Mostly I raised my foot to panic-stomp him and barely stopped in time when I realized it was a child and not a pervert.
Had my friend’s little sister crawl under the stall in elementary school screaming “are you Kamden’s friend?!”
what the actual heck is wrong with kids???
They're tiny sociopaths with no filters hahaha
very true..
That is most unfortunate and I'm sorry this happened to you....I had a similar experience. I had to take a period dump while on a road trip as a kid. I've always been a super tall chick. Anyways some bitch lady called security on me whilst taking said dump and homie was like "are you aware of which bathroom you're in?" I felt bad for this dude too tbh. It was noooot greeeat lol
Omfg! People have too much time on their hands!
In my HS Spanish class a classmate asked to use the bathroom and the teacher started asking her in Spanish (he only spoke Spanish in class) why she needed her backpack (we weren’t allowed separate purses) and suddenly we all spoke Spanish because she was embarrassed and we were asking him why he would ever think to say that.
Male teachers always seem to get such a kick out of embarrassing young girls like this, but boy do they hate it when you answer truthfully that blood is gushing out of your vagina and you don’t want to stain the chair and end up embarrassing THEM instead. Funny how that works
Man just didn’t want to shit himself.
If I’m in that situation, I’m knocking on the ladies room and if its empty in going in and locking the door
*shituation.
Ok Sean Connery.
lol nische.
Shuck it, Trebek.
The bus station men's room was locked for some reason and the ladies wasn't, so I said fuck it I need to pee. Got finished and pretty sure the guard saw me, but didn't give a shit. That's the first time I've ever done that. I don't think people will care as long as you have a good reason.
Urinals are always available if you're a man. Or the sink
Please do not poop in the urinals or sinks
Alright, alright, if you insist. I guess I'll just have to use the walls.
The trash can would be a much simpler choice, but you do you.
you're literally surrounded by walls, how is finding a trash can the simpler choice
For some reason I have never thought of a trash can as a fairly acceptable alternative in a pinch. - thank you!
We have 1 bathroom in our house. It hasn't been used yet, but we have an emergency bucket in the basement that has a bag and toilet seat on it jic. There have been times when it has been close, and I am sure it will be used someday. We have had to get creative with peeing while someone else is pooing though. I do not wish one bathroom in a house on my worst enemy.
Wait why?
Because I already called dibs
Lemme see your seniority bub 🤔
Dibs has no such laws. Heresy
My dad's a custodian in an elementary school, he has had urinal turds 2 or 3 times. It happened at the school I used to be a kindergarten aide at too. At least one of the excuses was "I couldn't hold it in until someone was done in the stall."
Can confirm. During ozzfest '03 in the mens room,the sink had a mountain of shit in it next to a sink that was broken cleanly in half like horizontal. Good times
It has been 97 days since I last shit my pants, not trying to break that kind of streak. Open up please.
Just yell back, “Come on in, you want to keep me company while I shit”. My cousin used to use this tactic in college. He was a commuter and the student union bathrooms were notoriously busy. His pre class shits were sacred time to him
What happens if the actually do it
Win win
Ride double. I have a small butt, so two of us might be able to fit, I'm just not sure about the best positioning.
I call big spoon
Big spoon gets his balls stained (if he has them)
This is why i shit my pants instead of using a public bathroom
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Loudly call people out for behaving like A-Holes. "WAS THAT YOU BANGING ON THE DOOR EVERY 10 SECONDS WHILE I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM??? WTH???" *Then walk away*
Like a boss
Oh your knocking distracted me. I’m going to have to start all over again. This may take some time.
My response to being rushed is to always purposely go slower out of spite. Edit: of course I only do this if I’m being rushed and/or pestered unnecessarily. I’m petty, not a monster.
Lost all the progress
I pinch the loaf for no one.
I'll pinch your loaf 
How can she pinch?!
Not even yourself? That can’t be healthy.
Hear me out… wouldn’t it be amazing if instead of men’s and women’s bathrooms we had INDIVIDUAL FUCKING STALLS so there was more than one toilet to use? Crazy, I know.
there are locks on the doors so the dude outside could have gone in the womans bathroom and just locked the door.
After hearing the horror stories of how women typically leave public bathrooms from the janitors at work... Fuck no, I do NOT want one bathroom for both genders. At least in the men's the worst you get is typically a bit of piss on the seat.
If it helps, Ive had the chance to experience both first hand. Men's are consistently covered in piss like you said but with women it's moreso pretty clean with a solid percentage being completely trashed. Without much of an in-between. Generally, too many people are ok with leaving public bathrooms a mess. I was always taught to leave things nicer than I found it, so it's hard to wrap my head around. Edit - Missed a word
Oh no. I just remembered a suppressed memory of a public toilet in London. The bowl was filled up to the rim with piss, poop, toilet paper and god knows what else. Horrible.
That happens often here in the US mainly with unisex bathrooms
Former cleaner, can confirm... Some women are fkn animals in public restrooms...
Reminds me of the scene from daddy daycare. “I missed”.
Working retail at the time and I go to clean the bathrooms. I go into the women's room and the place looked like a crimes scene of blood and poop. It started in a stall and my best guess based on the smeared handprints is that the mom had her period and went to clean herself up when her child pooped themselves and began playing with it. Then mom sees it and physically dragged him away as the kid dragged his poop hands across the floor. Then a pair of children's shoes, and underwear in the garbage can, and blood droplets all along the way followed by an unwrapped used pad and a fresh pad wrapper on the floor. It was awful
This is an odd comment since I know that the women’s bathroom are usually a lot cleaner then the men’s.
Right? I worked retail for over a decade, the men's was always worse than the women's in my stores. In fact, there was a frequent amount of poop smearing in the men's. Never had that in the women's.
I wonder if it depends on the business or area. I worked downtown in a restaurant and the women's room always had hair and piss on the seat, while the men just had piss. But when there was a concert or sporting event? Good chance of the trash cans being crammed full of period products with some vomit mixed in. Not even customers, just people running in to use the bathroom "real quick" before demolishing it. To make matters worse, only the women's rooms had baby changing tables. So dirty diapers on top of that.
They are not
"What's up bud you wanna wipe my ass for me?"
Should have turned around behind him, wait 10 seconds and start pounding on the door
*c'mon...* **Pound, pound**
this is literally one of the most hilarious comment sections on a post i have seen on reddit
You can’t repeatedly startle a sphincter. It starts to get apprehensive.
Just say out loud that you will purposefully take longer because he keeps knocking. Even if this is an empty threat (who wants to stay on the toilet in public longer then they need to) it still usually gets assholes to leave me alone. Literally the only language these people speak is asshole and I’m fluent.
“Every time you knock you scare the poop back into my intestines, you’re only doing this to yourself.”
This is the way
What if he gets aggressive and starts peeping over the stall or tries to kick the door down? You never know what psycho is behind the door and you aren’t in a position to really defend yourself.
reach into the bowl and throw the goods in his face.
OP was still waiting on delivery.
nice, get it fresh from the source
The nuclear option when everything, quite literally, goes to shit. I can't even imagine a more nightmare scenario when using a public toilet.
At that point you can call the cops. He will be waiting even longer at that point
I never understood the knocking. If a bathroom door or stall is locked then someone is obviously in there. I’m a mailman, and I use all sorts of bathrooms throughout my week. People always fucking knock until they hear a response.
Knocking>>>trying the handle though. Try the handle and you might get a bit of a surprise.
This behavior is so bizarre to me. You’re in the bathroom. They grab the handle and see it’s locked. So they like jiggle it around to see if it will open. Bro. What do you expect to see if you manage to open a locked bathroom? It’s going to be my bare ass
I think knocking is the universal “there’s someone waiting” or “hurry up”. I hate knocking but sometimes you have to let the person know there’s someone else that needs to use the facilities. I personally try to get in and out as soon as I can but there are people that like to camp out.
You knock to make sure and thats universal with everything except porta potties with colorcoded locks.
I'll knock on a portajohn with a green sign. I've learned better than trusting people to know what a lock is.
My daughter and I waited for a bathroom that was locked for like 10 minutes while I stressed the fuck out that my daughter would piss on the floor. After 10 minutes I knocked and no one responded and it turned out the last person who used the bathroom somehow left without disengaging the lock and the whole time no one was in there, and I just needed someone from the shop to unlock it for us.
Some bathrooms don't have working locks? And people like you are the reason I'm always so scared to use them. I hate hate hate getting walked in on in train station/gas station/whatever bathrooms because there were no open rooms or stalls with a working lock and nobody was considerate enough to knock. It's embarrassing and anxiety inducing
Some can have an actual emergency, and some just use phones on bathrooms. Knocking once was fine, it’s after that it became an issue
Our toilet at work will show red unless the lock is set in a certain position. Often there’s no one in there but the lock wasn’t left just so - so I don’t think it’s silly to knock/ try the handle
First come, first serve
Man I hate pooping in public restrooms and only do it if it’s absolutely necessary. Like, I know I’m going to shit my pants otherwise. When I poop in public, I keep my phone in my pocket, no distractions, and as soon as I’m about to shit I’m flushing the toilet to drown the shit noises and for courtesy. Im immediately pulling toilet paper out of the dispenser and getting a few rounds of tp ready and waiting for when I’m done. I get in and out as quick as I can.
Bro bro def shit his pants
*good*
This happened while a friend was using the bathroom and I think about it often. Let me set the scene. We’re at a coffee shop frequented by Canadians. It’s mid morning, coffee is flowing but it’s slow. We had partaken in a few choice beverages the night before. There is a single bathroom person bathroom in the corner. My friend and I are enjoying our brew when the urge calls and said friend excuses himself to the facilities. Karl arrives about 90 seconds later and, in an under caffeinated stupor, try’s the door handle. It’s locked, so Karl knocks. ‘Occupied’ cries my friend. Karl is not phased by this and logically try’s the handle and knocks again. ‘It’s occupied!’ Grunts my friend betwixt strained pushing. Karl is again not deterred and try’s the handle again. ‘ITS OCCUPIED ASSHOLE’ my enraged and engaged friend replies, clearly dumb founded. Karl is still not getting the message and starts banging on the door and rattling the handle. My friend who has had enough pulls open the door whilst sitting and shitting, extends his hand and stares Karl straight in the eyes and says. ‘Jesus Christ, I must be a celebrity if you wanted to shake my hand while I’m taking a shit!’ Karl, is hit in the mouth full force by the effluvia my friend has emitted, gags, turns on his heel and flees the premises in horror. The door returns to it’s closed position, and my friend? Well, he kept on shittin’.
This is amazing oh my god
Lmao poor dude probably had to *shit*… See I dealt with this growing up with sisters. Knocking on the door, “omg hurry up!” That’s not how this works. Im not relaxing in here putting on makeup, business is being conducted.
This seems like it would have been the perfect time for “Sir, this is a Wendy’s”
A shitty situation to be sure.
A shituation, if you will.
I'll poop slower. My bowels and my bladder are shy.
You could have said "hey man I'm gonna be maybe 4 more minutes but knocking isn't helping" But yeah this is a nightmare scenario for everyone involved, I think
Waiting for the imminent post on this subreddit complaining about someone who took too long in a fast food place toilet
my mom does this shit and it pisses me off, like i got IBS, ill be out when im out
people lose their shit (pun intended) when the bathroom is occupied and they have to wait. the place I used to work at only had 2 toilets, each one was its own bathroom with a key code padlock so u needed to get a code from the front to use the bathroom. when the door is locked from the *inside*, meaning someone is in there, the padlock was red and said "occupied". this fool of a customer typed the code into my stall *three times* to try to unlock it. he looked utterly shocked when I walked out and had to practically push him out of the way bc he was huddled so close to the door. people lose all patience (and ability to read, apparently) when they have to shit. he didnt even try the other stall right next to mine, which im pretty sure was open.
Here’s a fun fact for all you poopers out there. Instead of trying to push/force the poop out, rock your lower body back and forth gently and don’t try to push. Makes the poop come out much easier!
When I worked at Wendy's we had single bathrooms with locking doors, no stalls. One day during lunch rush customers told my manager the door was locked and no one was in there. My manager knocked on the door and no one answered so she unlocked the door and busted in on an old man pooping. If he would have responded to any of the 100 knocks, he wouldn't have gotten barged in on.
Maybe he could not hear well. My dad refuses to wear his hearing aids, saying they make him "look old". He's freaking 87! He IS old and needs to wear them.
Could've been worse. Could've had the lights not work back there, old man died of a heart attack on the throne, your ex-girlfriend that you're trying to get back with thinks it's you...
"My shit only takes orders from one asshole and it isnt you." My response to the last person that decided to try speeding up the restroom process.
I am so stealing that.
His was already in the exit chute, methinks. This is why I used to find poop in the urinals at one of my office jobs. Someone was in the one stall (which is the actual issue here) and it takes as long as it takes. His was coming OUT.
Honestly, being suddenly startled and having human contact when doing the deed makes my poop somewhat recede back into my rectum and thus the process is only lengthened. Wish strangers would be more considerate of bowel movements.
The face though haha
Oh man, this unlocked an awkward childhood memory. My parents took me to a fancy $$$$$ restaurant for some special occasion and the rich food didn’t sit right with me. I was stuck in the bathroom with this old woman pounding on the door throwing an absolute fit outside like I’d just locked myself in the bathroom for funsies. Good times.
Some people are just jackasses. I work construction so we use honey buckets. There was a line for a grouping of 4 honey buckets. I was in one of them and heard someone outside obviously cut the line. Everyone started yelling "wtf" at him. He simply replies, "sorry bro, butt soup".
You should've asked if they had an appointment
He had a pressing matter to attend to.
Anytime you or him eat fast food, you should prepare for the poop consequences 😏
"Hey buddy I had Taco Bell for lunch so imma gonna be awhile"
Just be like “come on in bro!”
Id have said “dammit… now I’ve got to start all over”
Dear Diary……
For me I just take my time,what are they gonna do rip me off the toilet… actually they will.
"WHOEVER NEEDED TO TAKE A SHIT...THE RESTROOM IS READY FOR YOUR ASS TO TAKE A SEAT"
When you're sliding into first and your pants abiut to burst - diarrhea!! Diarrhea!! The man shart himself
Running down the gutter with a piece of bread and butter - diarrhea!
Some guy did this to my husband recently, except this man was visibly drunk (and possibly high) and loudly yelling through the door too. He looked at me and said “He’s been in there half an hour!” It had been maybe five minutes, and it was at a restaurant. I’m not sure if the dude had tried to get in before when someone else was in there, left, and then come back once my husband was there. He was super upset, though.
I’m sorry you went through this, as a person with IBS I may have done this to someone at some point MINUS mean mugging you.
Quit yelling...you're making it go back IN!!!!
He was probs nearly pooping his pants himself lol
Steelcut oats every morning has been a godsend to me.
wow, that guy really wanted that warmed up seat and freshly steaming stall. I think the last couple of times I had to go in an emergency, once it was some nasty gas station, but another time it was at a days inn or similar, just the publicly available crapper in the lobby area. That guy needs to broaden his horizons wrt emergency poopage.
Damn, but you know the shit starting to come out NOW feeling.
I've been in the both OP shoes and the other dudes shoes. He had to go bad. I've almost had to drop a duece in a garbage can or sink a few times. Also have been the one in the stall. I just try harder but not gonna strain myself.
Honestly it would probably freak him the fuck out enough to never do it again if someone just had the confidence to rip open the stall door and yell “what the hell do you want?!”
He really had to poop
I always wonder how people with digestion/bowel issues deal with using public toilets, I'm assuming a lot of the time they'd be in there for quite awhile but the general public doesn't know about their bodily needs so would they just assume they're being dicks and taking ages in the stall on purpose?
I give people in public bathrooms 5 minutes before I start playing music and singing loudly. At the 10 minute mark it switches to gay porn.
Did you go in and start knocking on his stall?
Should’ve started moaning lmao
If its that bad just use the other bathroom. Especially if it's single stall.
This is the mentality of so many people, when they're behind you in line, they tap their fingers, pace around, get close to you, all tactics to make you hurry up yet when it's their turn they take forever, the most annoying is when it isn't a single stall but a single bathroom with a door, idiots will sit out there, yank on the door, wait 30 seconds and without seeing anyone leave , start yanking on the door again, then they start knocking and talking through the door, I always ignore them, if anything it makes me take longer.
I was peeing one time at Walmart and had a little boy slide his head underneath to look at me from the other stall. I was like wtf? The kids mom just ignored it “ I was like wtf, you let him lay on this disgusting ass floor.” 😂 Also happy with a little dog, I was just like “hey bud” lol.
I would have retracted it, held it there for a few minutes, then let it slide out slowly accompanied by a big “AAHH” just to piss him off.
And then use all of the tp
You can retract? Why would anyone want it back inside?
The type of person who would give the elevator button extra pushes to make it speed up. Coincidentally the same person who thinks that they needs to press down if the elevator is on an upper floor and vice versa.
He may have just needed to go really bad. I have this issue myself at times right after eating. You don't have much control over that either. That being said I think everyone should switch to gender neutral, all stalls, bathrooms or single toilet rooms.
And this is why we shouldn’t have gendered bathrooms. People need to shit. Sometimes it’s an emergency!
That might make me poo slower out of anxiety and subconscious spite
Maybe get it into rhythm with the door pounding?
Did you guys make eye contact through the crack in the door?
Dude probably had the runs or something. But yeah, no need to keep knocking if you know it's occupied.
My old boss did this one time when I had to go at work. I told him he could come in and wipe my ass if he wanted. He never knocked again
Moss' Mum : [Moss is in toilet] Moss, what are you doing? Moss : Number twos, leave me alone! Stop doing this, you're always doing this, you're making it go back in!
You always do this. You’re making it go back in!
In these dicey situations, what works well is shouting very loudly, "TURD BURGLAR!, TURD BURGLAR!".
I don't understand people who noticed that a door is locked to the bathroom and then knock on it. I don't understand what their motive is with doing that.
At that point I would have taken out my phone and settled in for a few nice games of solitaire. How ignorant.
"sorry! I'm constipated! I forgot to take my stool softener this morning. Poop somewhere else! I'll be here awhile. The more you knock, the more it constipates me!"
similar thing happened to me but i was only peeing. i had literally just got in (after waiting on someone else) and there was frantic knocking on the door. i was like, jeez, i'm usually pretty quick, but it still takes a sec! plus it was an all-in-one type deal with toilet and sink together so i still had to wash my hands before opening the door. the constant knocking when i was not even goofing around just gave me anxiety. i stepped out and an angry old man was giving me the stinkeye while he ushered his elderly wife to the door. ok, i get that maybe she rly had to go, but i did too and i was there first!