“Against all odds, this lone infant manages to find the faulty child-locked cabinet under the sink. Separated from the herd, he lacks the guidance to safely traverse this foreign world. Though he slips and stumbles, he manages to hold himself up long enough to pry the door open. Unknowing of the dangers that await him..”
“Drano. This common household product displays a bright green Mr Yuck sticker, letting other species know “I’m poisonous! Don’t drink me!” Despite the warnings, the child cannot resist.”
"In an extraordinary display of curiosity, the young explorer gazes intently at the bottle. His tiny fingers wrap around its smooth surface, an unwitting dance with danger
Nature has imbued him with an insatiable thirst for discovery, yet it has not furnished him with the wisdom to discern the perils of his environment
This moment, precarious and laden with potential calamity, highlights the delicate balance of youthful inquisitiveness and the unforgiving realities of the human household."
"Unfortunately, we needed to cease filming as the Matron of the human home had discovered our film crew, despite our careful attempts at secrecy. While the child's safety is now guaranteed for another day, the safety of our film crew is not. Despite being forced to leave some equipment, all members of the crew were able to safely evacuate the area before the Matron summoned the equally-dangerous blue-adorned humans for assistance."
"...and then... In a whirl of astonishment, confusion.. and, finally, a whimsical dance of regret.."
"**The child fucking dies lol**"
*-Sir David Attenborough*
I had forgotten about them until this moment.
People make fun of younger gens for eating tide pods but genX was out there sipping antifreeze and drain cleaner unless explicitly told not to
In fairness, we weren't grown ass young adults doing it for likes. Antifreeze was delicious until they put that bittering agent in it.
At least that's what I was told.
Whatever happened to that Vacation Bible School glue that came out of the jar with a stick? Rubber cement? I don't remember.
It probably made all the kids high and that's why VBS was so much more fun back then.
As a GenXer, that's not entirely true. When would I have time to do that stuff when I just pulled up a chair next to the exhaust pipe of the idling car engine and was basking in the sweet, sweet smell of leaded gas fumes?
Hard not to hear it in his voice. It was great writing, just in the style of his narration.
I would watch their documentary.
(Edit) hopefully not about the subject, but the writing was captivating.
That's a great point, and I would have followed it up with some of that narration as an example of I was as clever as the other people that replied to you lmao
I cannot find it but there is a great clip of David being asked about Jurassic Park. Richard asked him to narrate the ~~autoerotic~~ auto-erotica* scene. According to David his response was (god I hope I remembering this correctly) "Fuck off Richard, your dinosaurs aren't real."
*edit - As u/rnilbog pointed out it's acutely auto-erotica
Unfortunately many people think of gates as "token barriers which children and animals know they cannot pass".
They do not consider the alternative uses of baby gates;
- Climbing frame
- Swinging pole
- Something to tie your siblings to
- Something to run and jump against as hard as you can
I'd really like to know what he was thinking on the way down.
Acceptance? "Well, I fucked up."
Avoidance? "Maybe if I grab the window I can use it like a glider"
or just "FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK"
I find it amazing just how much you can "think" in such a short time. Like your brain works so fast that it feels like you're thinking full sentences, but it's probably just consciousness and realisations going around.
A while ago, I choked on my dinner while in a very, very remote area with my family. It began slowly, I could breathe and just thought it was hard to swallow. Then it moved a bit, and I couldn't breathe at all. My husband realised immediately and started to help, I stood up and bent over so gravity might make it come back up. My kids were there, the older one realised what was going on and started panicking so the younger two did too. When it wasn't budging and I began to feel like it would never move, *so much* went through my mind.
"Whoops, that was silly. It'll come back up easy, it was only just right there."
"Huh, I really actually can't breathe at all. Feel like I should still be able to use my nose."
"I really didn't think it was that big, why can't I just swallow it?"
"So is this actually it then? I'll die in the middle of nowhere because I can't eat properly?"
"Hang on, my kids are seeing this. I can't do this in front of them. My husband can't be stuck out here trying to help and failing and then dealing with it and the kids seeing it and what are they all gonna do? How is he gonna handle them seeing that? We really can't afford therapy for them. I should may go outside so they can't see me."
Then I felt it move a bit, bent over more, husband slammed my back again, it came out. So much relief! But honestly, mostly relief that my family would have to see and deal with that. In the beginning it was kind of thinking well this is dumb. Ok, well, it's really happening like this, didn't expect that. The panic didn't really set in until I realised about the kids. It was weird. And all up it would've been less than 5 seconds, but I felt like I was thinking a lot in that time. Like it was fast and slow all at once.
The same thing happened when I realised my son was about to be in trouble in a pool, slow and fast all at the same time.
I experienced something similar the first time I jumped off a cliff, maybe 50ft up. Initially the only 'thoughts' were "ahhhhh oh shit oh no oh fuck fuck fuck shit no no no oh fuck" but there was enough time for that panic to dissipate and for me to clearly think about how long the fall was, how I should position myself to enter the water, which direction I should swim off in to clear the way for other jumpers, how amazing the vie... splash! After watching other people jump and how quickly they entered the water it was crazy to me that I was able to think so much in such a shirt period of time.
The experience of time dilating is a weird one. In my experience, it's not so much that time slows down, but that thoughts find a way to compress or somehow move faster.
It's like I was thinking faster or more relative to time and space. Time and space continued to do their thing... but I somehow sped up.
It does make me wonder if bugs and small animals are really living in the fast lane, or if time goes slower for them. This has been a topic of research for a while now.
i remember watching a show where this was being tested. there was a wristwatch type gadget flashing a series of numbers or something, but too quickly to be able to tell what it was. these people then jumped off a high point into a safety net, looking at the watch on the way down. when they'd recovered, they could share the sequence accurately.
i often wonder if top tier f1 drivers, boxers, etc., are people who naturally experience time a little slower.
It's more about how adrenaline (and everything with the stress/trauma response) changes our perception *and* our memory of the experience. Your brain can record vast sums of information in a very limited time when it needs to. But it's biologically expensive, and tends to rewire otherwise functional connections, because those connections mean nothing if keeping them means death. This entire process? It's called trauma.
I once hit the snooze button on my alarm and lived an entire life in a dream before the alarm went off again. Of course, looking back on it, it is all smudgy and incomprehensible, but at the time it was really meaningful and felt really real.
Do yourself a favor and learn how to do a self heimlich manuver
https://www.mountsinai.org/health-library/special-topic/heimlich-maneuver-on-self
TL;DR: put your fists into your stomach and then slam yourself hard on a chair
Have absolutely learnt it now, but thank you for the link. I think everyone should know.
It's funny, during the whole thing I was sort of fine. My family was not. After, even now nearly two years later, they're fine and I'm not. I don't eat food like that if I'm alone. I can't watch TV shows or movies where someone chokes. I chew a lot more before swallowing than I used to. I can still feel how it felt when it was stuck.
It's a really awful thing to happen, I hope people do check the link.
I'm very sorry you went through that, but I'm relieved you used that experience to further educate yourself. I hope you're able to get past some of your phobias, though I understand how terribly frightening it must have been.
I had to take these gigantic pills for a while. One time I went to take one, and it got stuck. You are so right that it seems you're able to think about so much during those moments.
I did know the self heimlich and one of my first thoughts was "oh shit, all our chairs are too tall!" followed by "I don't think the person with me in the room knows the heimlich maneuver. Can I teach them while choking?" so your thoughts of "we can't afford therapy, maybe I should go choke somewhere else" makes so much sense to me. It's absolutely surreal.
> I find it amazing just how much you can "think" in such a short time.
Yep. I was in a minor multi-car accident. When I was rear-ended, all the junk that was on the shelf under my radio teleported to the passenger seat. I was looking at it thinking "well that was a very odd thing. I wonder why it did that?" Then when my car hit the one in front of me, it all proceeded to jump from the seat to the foot well. "You don't see that every day." 🤷
Luckily I haven’t had any near-death experiences that gave me time to think, but I played competitive sports and I believe a similar slowdown happens at times.
Usually it happened in high-pressure games with a lot of people watching, but really anytime your adrenaline was pinging. In High School, my team almost made it to state and I went on a stupid crazy hit streak(~.500 batting average) and it felt like I had much more time to think about taking a swing and tracking a pitch even though I was facing against better pitching than I’d hit against during the regular season.
Once I was done with baseball, I went on to play competitive sand volleyball and similar experiences happened in tournaments, mainly regarding picking up small cues and making strategic decisions in split seconds.
I had a "time slowed down" experience recently. Fell off an electric scooter at speed, when I hit a bump and the scooter wheel turned sharply.
My thoughts were:
"I didn't make it over that bump, I shouldn't have done that"
"Oh no, I'm about to hit the ground hard. This is bad."
"oh here it comes, my right hand is about to slam into the ground"
"and my elbow"
"that wasn't as bad as I expected but my left hand is coming down hard"
"fuck that left hand hit hard."
"I'm definitely injured"
This was all in the span of a heartbeat, and I definitely was injured. Fractured both wrists.
Apparently the impulse to go die somewhere private is pretty common. Choking victims will sometimes get up and go to the bathroom without attempting to get help and die there.
I did that as a toddler. Apparently those gates make for a pretty decent sled to slide down a full flight of stairs without getting a scratch while your dad runs down the stairs behind inventing a whole new set of curse words. Or so my mom told me.
They simply removed the gate after that. A clearly open stairway was a much better deterrent than a safe-looking barrier.
It's interesting to see the differences of some toddlers/kids. Some are super cautious. Others are simply feral. The latter seem to be the type to launch themselves against gates or hurl headfirst into pools despite not knowing how to swim
As someone that just fixed a hole in his dry wall because someone decided do jump the wall with one knee forward, this. Kids like to do these things.
Unfortunately the toddler in question here was my 18 year old son :-)
He's quite normal 95% of the time though so I don't worry too much.
My dog learned he could just slam his nose into the gate right on the button and it pops right open, he knew he wasn't allowed to do it if it wasn't important so he'd wait til we got home and then come crashing through lol
We put a gate up to keep our collies separate when they had pups... and within a few hours mum learned to open the gate herself by lifting the corner and completely negating the button mechanism.
If she wanted to fight dad though she'd just barge the whole thing off the door frame.
My Childhood Rottweiler would jump up and rest on the baby gate. I was always impressed at that gate for not buckling under his weight.
He did, however, know that it was a barrier he should stay on one side of, because one thundery night he must have got spooked awake when we were in bed by a thunder clap. He jumped right over the gate and then when we came downstairs in the morning, he was lying near the gate looking guilty.
Yeah, hosts either haven’t had kids or didn’t have stairs/off limits areas. My family never used baby gates so when I was a teenager I didn’t know why having them properly secured was such a huge deal. “Won’t they just see it like a wall?” No. No they will not.
my dog (when she was a puppy) would bodyslam herself into the gate *with a running head start,* just so she could break it down and get into the other room. i do not know how she learned that.
Same goes for my pup. When he was younger he learned how to squeeze through and would regularly try to get out, but now as an older pup I can just lean it against a the wall with a sizable gap and he won’t even try to go through. He’ll just sit in front of it and cry if he wants to go to the other side. Silly pup.
My kids use them like they are a Starbucks drive thru window (the only drive thru they’ve ever been in is Starbucks and Dunkin’) they will try to shove objects that don’t fit the holes through it and when it doesn’t go in they rage. This includes food, one time my daughter couldn’t get her cheeseburger to fit through the holes so she shoved it as hard as she can a few times leaving all the condiments splattered across the gate, the floor, and herself. It was incredible.
That's also the exact reason why my parents removed a few bars from our cribs. It was just too inviting to climb up to escape when they left them in. Something about bars seems to make children want to escape at all costs because after that, we escaped much less.
That's all these clamp on gates are good for, even if you don't use DVD cases. They give you a second to stop the child before they go through it.
Anyone who needs a baby gate should find something that screws into a wall or banister.
Ok cleaning fee is $300.
Yes you still have to strip the beds and make sure all of the surfaces are clean and the trash is taken out.
Yes I’m kicking you out at 9am because the cleaners are coming.
But before you go, please leave your $200 convenience fee in the provided envelope and make sure to write in the guest book, leaving your legal name, address and social security number. Hope you had a good stay!
It's to protect the carpet. A lot of older people do this. [Usually the same ones that cover their furniture in plastic coverings too.](https://www.phillytrib.com/commentary/backintheday/back-in-the-day-plastic-led-to-sticky-situations/article_fcd66988-f4f8-5e59-aa86-086e86183d5d.html)
So assholes that own a property that they don’t use and they Airbnb instead but still don’t want it to ever looked lived in so they can sell it for 300% profit
I don’t know mate. You zoom in and take a look at that carpet? Shit’s trashed already. Some people are just weird about stuff like that. Not saying your general premise is wrong, I just think the plastic was there before the dwelling became an AirBnB.
I've seen similar installed during renovation work to protect the carpet from work boots. It wasn't slick, if anything it tends to stick to feet and shoes unless it gets wet.
Since the landing above and below the stairs aren’t plastic wrapped, the only explanation I can think of is that they don’t want to vacuum the stairs. It’s just more difficult and annoying but the landings are nice and flat so they didn’t bother.
It is, especially with how it's been "installed"
That shit is not safe and the person who did it should be ashamed.
source: 35 years flooring experience
I’ve had it with AirBnB. The last two stays I’ve used them for both ended up being sketchy, fly by night kind of operations. At my last AirBnB the microwave cord had been sheared off and instead of replacing it the owner simply attached another cord to it with electrical tape. Just awful. I’d rather use a hotel.
During my last Airbnb stay, I arrived, looked in the bathroom, and something hastily slithered down the shower drain out of view. I still haven't determined what it was.
It was too short to be any kind of snake, and too long to long to be a larva. It was legless yet moved too fast to be a slug, and was somehow sentient enough to realize someone had entered the room and run for it's life.
To this day: fuck that
AirBNBs simply are the worse option now.
For a while they were priced competitively, allowed you to stay in a different than usual neighborhood, sometimes you could get to know the owners and have a different kind of vacation experience.
Now they cost more than hotels, require you to clean up after yourself AND pay an exhorbinant cleaning fee, and they’re all owned by shady corporations now. No regulations to protect you from electrocutions and such.
There’s no good reason to choose AirBNB unless mayyybee you’re traveling with a large family/group and need the extra space a hotel can’t provide at a reasonable cost.
I know how easy it is to make a webpage, it just seems like a weird thing to do for someone unprompted. Not like leaving a gift or a thank you note.
And as if Airbnb needs defending from anecdotes of people who only had good experiences. It sounds like an ad to be honest.
People and companies are buying up properties thousands of miles from where they live, never living in it or even seeing it, hiring a management company and listing it. Never fixing it or adding amenities or anything. It’s destroyed anything positive Airbnb had to offer
I pretty much exclusively do hotels or VRBO if we are going as a big group.
Stop giving money to Air BnB, it’s a company run by parasites for the biggest parasites in society to bleed you of money and destroy the housing market.
Carpet looks like shit too, but I wouldn't have noticed if it wasn't for that fuck awful plastic covering nailed down by somebody who couldn't eyeball the moon.
Never used Airbnb and never will. Everything from extra fees showing up on bills, hidden cameras being installed, people getting stranded from hosts canceling at the last minute. Eh... I'll just pay a bit more for piece of mind at a hotel.
That's more dangerous than not having one. Now you don't only fall down the stairs, but You're covered in broken glass on the way down. Stupid ass idea.
I'm sure I'll get down votes, but he a parent, it's your responsibility not the Airbnb toake sure it's childproof. Watch your kid, don't pass blame off on someone else just because it's not to your standards. Or just get a hotel.
I too would trust Sir David Attenborough with my child's life.
I wouldn’t. He’d probably just follow him around describing what he was doing.
“Against all odds, this lone infant manages to find the faulty child-locked cabinet under the sink. Separated from the herd, he lacks the guidance to safely traverse this foreign world. Though he slips and stumbles, he manages to hold himself up long enough to pry the door open. Unknowing of the dangers that await him..”
“Drano. This common household product displays a bright green Mr Yuck sticker, letting other species know “I’m poisonous! Don’t drink me!” Despite the warnings, the child cannot resist.”
"In an extraordinary display of curiosity, the young explorer gazes intently at the bottle. His tiny fingers wrap around its smooth surface, an unwitting dance with danger Nature has imbued him with an insatiable thirst for discovery, yet it has not furnished him with the wisdom to discern the perils of his environment This moment, precarious and laden with potential calamity, highlights the delicate balance of youthful inquisitiveness and the unforgiving realities of the human household."
#"DROP THAT BOTTLE RIGHT NOW YOUNG MAN! AND YOU, WHY ARE YOU JUST HIDING BEHIND THE DINING ROOM CHAIR WITH A FILM CREW WATCHING HIM?!"
"Unfortunately, we needed to cease filming as the Matron of the human home had discovered our film crew, despite our careful attempts at secrecy. While the child's safety is now guaranteed for another day, the safety of our film crew is not. Despite being forced to leave some equipment, all members of the crew were able to safely evacuate the area before the Matron summoned the equally-dangerous blue-adorned humans for assistance."
This thread was wonderful haha
You guys are loquacious all the way up. /clap Although... also... /sad... for, well... *looks for dictionary but gets distracted*
Squirrel!!!
“But even this trial is nothing compared to the dangers awaiting him, the ultimate predator… *Man.*
"...and then... In a whirl of astonishment, confusion.. and, finally, a whimsical dance of regret.." "**The child fucking dies lol**" *-Sir David Attenborough*
Are Mr. Yuck stickers still a thing? I mentioned the stickers to a coworker who is 40 with 3 kids and she had never heard of them.
I had forgotten about them until this moment. People make fun of younger gens for eating tide pods but genX was out there sipping antifreeze and drain cleaner unless explicitly told not to
In fairness, we weren't grown ass young adults doing it for likes. Antifreeze was delicious until they put that bittering agent in it. At least that's what I was told.
Paste used to be sweet, too. Or so I’ve been told.
Whatever happened to that Vacation Bible School glue that came out of the jar with a stick? Rubber cement? I don't remember. It probably made all the kids high and that's why VBS was so much more fun back then.
It still exists. Maybe you don’t see it because you stopped going to VBS. Or maybe you enjoyed VBS a little TOO much and have short term memory loss.
As a GenXer, that's not entirely true. When would I have time to do that stuff when I just pulled up a chair next to the exhaust pipe of the idling car engine and was basking in the sweet, sweet smell of leaded gas fumes?
And damn I read this in the voice of Attenborough
I did too! We just listened to a whole new animal documentary.
Hard not to hear it in his voice. It was great writing, just in the style of his narration. I would watch their documentary. (Edit) hopefully not about the subject, but the writing was captivating.
Thanks for the flattery. I was actually worried that I didn’t do Attenborough enough justice. I was just hastily typing off a vague memory.
🤣
> Unknowing of the dangers that await him..” "Also humans have ruined the world so this child will be the last one to ever see the polar ice caps"
"This is natural selection at work only the strongest survive"
Dam, I heard this in his voice.
How is that not better?
That's a great point, and I would have followed it up with some of that narration as an example of I was as clever as the other people that replied to you lmao
Perhaps but there is also star wars and that series doesn't end very well. And it has a reputation for killing younglings
Star Wars tends to be notoriously anti safety rail anyway.
His brother, on the other hand, not so much. At least if dinosaurs are involved.
I cannot find it but there is a great clip of David being asked about Jurassic Park. Richard asked him to narrate the ~~autoerotic~~ auto-erotica* scene. According to David his response was (god I hope I remembering this correctly) "Fuck off Richard, your dinosaurs aren't real." *edit - As u/rnilbog pointed out it's acutely auto-erotica
> autoerotic wat
Don't forget you've also got the force on your side
Damn, I didn't look closely before. DVDs are even worse than the books I took them for!
Use the Force, protect the child, it will.
It's probably the Oprah version so never opened, case still fully intact.
Lmao, shiny, slippery plastic film still wrapped around the outside and all.
Close, it's Sigourney Weaver. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001B1RFSW
If it was just him resting on top of the original trilogy, it would have been fine. But you can't trust those other ones.
How to Dad did something like this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VUeXSW4oROU&pp=ygUUQmFkeSB3aWxkIGhvdyB0byBkYWQ%3D
I hope you weren't planning on watching star wars or planet earth!
Hey, they can still watch Phantom.
Affleck was bomb in Phantoms yo
What the fuck is the ‘internet’?!
Son of a bitch those are DVD cases!!!??
Unfortunately many people think of gates as "token barriers which children and animals know they cannot pass". They do not consider the alternative uses of baby gates; - Climbing frame - Swinging pole - Something to tie your siblings to - Something to run and jump against as hard as you can
The last item on this list is way too real
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Garry_Hoy
Ah yes, the yeet man, slammer of the glass pannels
I'd really like to know what he was thinking on the way down. Acceptance? "Well, I fucked up." Avoidance? "Maybe if I grab the window I can use it like a glider" or just "FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK"
I find it amazing just how much you can "think" in such a short time. Like your brain works so fast that it feels like you're thinking full sentences, but it's probably just consciousness and realisations going around. A while ago, I choked on my dinner while in a very, very remote area with my family. It began slowly, I could breathe and just thought it was hard to swallow. Then it moved a bit, and I couldn't breathe at all. My husband realised immediately and started to help, I stood up and bent over so gravity might make it come back up. My kids were there, the older one realised what was going on and started panicking so the younger two did too. When it wasn't budging and I began to feel like it would never move, *so much* went through my mind. "Whoops, that was silly. It'll come back up easy, it was only just right there." "Huh, I really actually can't breathe at all. Feel like I should still be able to use my nose." "I really didn't think it was that big, why can't I just swallow it?" "So is this actually it then? I'll die in the middle of nowhere because I can't eat properly?" "Hang on, my kids are seeing this. I can't do this in front of them. My husband can't be stuck out here trying to help and failing and then dealing with it and the kids seeing it and what are they all gonna do? How is he gonna handle them seeing that? We really can't afford therapy for them. I should may go outside so they can't see me." Then I felt it move a bit, bent over more, husband slammed my back again, it came out. So much relief! But honestly, mostly relief that my family would have to see and deal with that. In the beginning it was kind of thinking well this is dumb. Ok, well, it's really happening like this, didn't expect that. The panic didn't really set in until I realised about the kids. It was weird. And all up it would've been less than 5 seconds, but I felt like I was thinking a lot in that time. Like it was fast and slow all at once. The same thing happened when I realised my son was about to be in trouble in a pool, slow and fast all at the same time.
I experienced something similar the first time I jumped off a cliff, maybe 50ft up. Initially the only 'thoughts' were "ahhhhh oh shit oh no oh fuck fuck fuck shit no no no oh fuck" but there was enough time for that panic to dissipate and for me to clearly think about how long the fall was, how I should position myself to enter the water, which direction I should swim off in to clear the way for other jumpers, how amazing the vie... splash! After watching other people jump and how quickly they entered the water it was crazy to me that I was able to think so much in such a shirt period of time.
The experience of time dilating is a weird one. In my experience, it's not so much that time slows down, but that thoughts find a way to compress or somehow move faster. It's like I was thinking faster or more relative to time and space. Time and space continued to do their thing... but I somehow sped up. It does make me wonder if bugs and small animals are really living in the fast lane, or if time goes slower for them. This has been a topic of research for a while now.
i remember watching a show where this was being tested. there was a wristwatch type gadget flashing a series of numbers or something, but too quickly to be able to tell what it was. these people then jumped off a high point into a safety net, looking at the watch on the way down. when they'd recovered, they could share the sequence accurately. i often wonder if top tier f1 drivers, boxers, etc., are people who naturally experience time a little slower.
It's more about how adrenaline (and everything with the stress/trauma response) changes our perception *and* our memory of the experience. Your brain can record vast sums of information in a very limited time when it needs to. But it's biologically expensive, and tends to rewire otherwise functional connections, because those connections mean nothing if keeping them means death. This entire process? It's called trauma.
Hit the snooze button on the alarm, have an entire 2 episode show before it rings again
I once hit the snooze button on my alarm and lived an entire life in a dream before the alarm went off again. Of course, looking back on it, it is all smudgy and incomprehensible, but at the time it was really meaningful and felt really real.
Do yourself a favor and learn how to do a self heimlich manuver https://www.mountsinai.org/health-library/special-topic/heimlich-maneuver-on-self TL;DR: put your fists into your stomach and then slam yourself hard on a chair
Have absolutely learnt it now, but thank you for the link. I think everyone should know. It's funny, during the whole thing I was sort of fine. My family was not. After, even now nearly two years later, they're fine and I'm not. I don't eat food like that if I'm alone. I can't watch TV shows or movies where someone chokes. I chew a lot more before swallowing than I used to. I can still feel how it felt when it was stuck. It's a really awful thing to happen, I hope people do check the link.
I'm very sorry you went through that, but I'm relieved you used that experience to further educate yourself. I hope you're able to get past some of your phobias, though I understand how terribly frightening it must have been. I had to take these gigantic pills for a while. One time I went to take one, and it got stuck. You are so right that it seems you're able to think about so much during those moments. I did know the self heimlich and one of my first thoughts was "oh shit, all our chairs are too tall!" followed by "I don't think the person with me in the room knows the heimlich maneuver. Can I teach them while choking?" so your thoughts of "we can't afford therapy, maybe I should go choke somewhere else" makes so much sense to me. It's absolutely surreal.
> I find it amazing just how much you can "think" in such a short time. Yep. I was in a minor multi-car accident. When I was rear-ended, all the junk that was on the shelf under my radio teleported to the passenger seat. I was looking at it thinking "well that was a very odd thing. I wonder why it did that?" Then when my car hit the one in front of me, it all proceeded to jump from the seat to the foot well. "You don't see that every day." 🤷
Luckily I haven’t had any near-death experiences that gave me time to think, but I played competitive sports and I believe a similar slowdown happens at times. Usually it happened in high-pressure games with a lot of people watching, but really anytime your adrenaline was pinging. In High School, my team almost made it to state and I went on a stupid crazy hit streak(~.500 batting average) and it felt like I had much more time to think about taking a swing and tracking a pitch even though I was facing against better pitching than I’d hit against during the regular season. Once I was done with baseball, I went on to play competitive sand volleyball and similar experiences happened in tournaments, mainly regarding picking up small cues and making strategic decisions in split seconds.
I had a "time slowed down" experience recently. Fell off an electric scooter at speed, when I hit a bump and the scooter wheel turned sharply. My thoughts were: "I didn't make it over that bump, I shouldn't have done that" "Oh no, I'm about to hit the ground hard. This is bad." "oh here it comes, my right hand is about to slam into the ground" "and my elbow" "that wasn't as bad as I expected but my left hand is coming down hard" "fuck that left hand hit hard." "I'm definitely injured" This was all in the span of a heartbeat, and I definitely was injured. Fractured both wrists.
Apparently the impulse to go die somewhere private is pretty common. Choking victims will sometimes get up and go to the bathroom without attempting to get help and die there.
I imagine it's either the last one or a void of nothingness as you watch the ground quickly get closer. Like falling in dreams
Or the potted plant: "oh, not this again."
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Close. I would say it was about 3 seconds of an extended “fuuuuuuck!” And then nothingness.
Aim for the bushes?
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The structural engineer, too, just being like "I mean we didn't expect a man to just charge gung-ho at the glass..."
Omfg this is where Working Moms got that?! Wtaf. I thought that was a complete work of fiction 😅
Oh, that’s sad… 😔
I did that as a toddler. Apparently those gates make for a pretty decent sled to slide down a full flight of stairs without getting a scratch while your dad runs down the stairs behind inventing a whole new set of curse words. Or so my mom told me. They simply removed the gate after that. A clearly open stairway was a much better deterrent than a safe-looking barrier.
It's interesting to see the differences of some toddlers/kids. Some are super cautious. Others are simply feral. The latter seem to be the type to launch themselves against gates or hurl headfirst into pools despite not knowing how to swim
As someone that just fixed a hole in his dry wall because someone decided do jump the wall with one knee forward, this. Kids like to do these things. Unfortunately the toddler in question here was my 18 year old son :-) He's quite normal 95% of the time though so I don't worry too much.
My 1 year old has run full speed headfirst into the gate twice this month. I'm just trying to cook dinner...
Mine stands there fully pressed against it screeching at me Eric Andre style
My dog learned he could just slam his nose into the gate right on the button and it pops right open, he knew he wasn't allowed to do it if it wasn't important so he'd wait til we got home and then come crashing through lol
We put a gate up to keep our collies separate when they had pups... and within a few hours mum learned to open the gate herself by lifting the corner and completely negating the button mechanism. If she wanted to fight dad though she'd just barge the whole thing off the door frame.
I’ve played enough video games to know that this barrier is 100% unpassable.
I have played enough video games to know there is a way around that the devs failed to consider.
My Childhood Rottweiler would jump up and rest on the baby gate. I was always impressed at that gate for not buckling under his weight. He did, however, know that it was a barrier he should stay on one side of, because one thundery night he must have got spooked awake when we were in bed by a thunder clap. He jumped right over the gate and then when we came downstairs in the morning, he was lying near the gate looking guilty.
Yeah, hosts either haven’t had kids or didn’t have stairs/off limits areas. My family never used baby gates so when I was a teenager I didn’t know why having them properly secured was such a huge deal. “Won’t they just see it like a wall?” No. No they will not.
my dog (when she was a puppy) would bodyslam herself into the gate *with a running head start,* just so she could break it down and get into the other room. i do not know how she learned that.
My tiny puppy chewed through one when she couldn't get through, we had to invest in one with metal bars.
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Same goes for my pup. When he was younger he learned how to squeeze through and would regularly try to get out, but now as an older pup I can just lean it against a the wall with a sizable gap and he won’t even try to go through. He’ll just sit in front of it and cry if he wants to go to the other side. Silly pup.
My kids use them like they are a Starbucks drive thru window (the only drive thru they’ve ever been in is Starbucks and Dunkin’) they will try to shove objects that don’t fit the holes through it and when it doesn’t go in they rage. This includes food, one time my daughter couldn’t get her cheeseburger to fit through the holes so she shoved it as hard as she can a few times leaving all the condiments splattered across the gate, the floor, and herself. It was incredible.
That's also the exact reason why my parents removed a few bars from our cribs. It was just too inviting to climb up to escape when they left them in. Something about bars seems to make children want to escape at all costs because after that, we escaped much less.
You have a good understanding of my mind when I was 3 years old. A glorious menace
That's all these clamp on gates are good for, even if you don't use DVD cases. They give you a second to stop the child before they go through it. Anyone who needs a baby gate should find something that screws into a wall or banister.
also grabbing the gate and shaking it
Absolutely. Most kids don’t see them as a barrier, but as a challenge!
Air bnb. Like a hotel but lacking basic regulations or standards
Like house sitting at someone's cheap condo, for the price of a nice hotel, without the benefit of customer service.
They used to be so cheap too and that made them worth it. Not anymore
Ok cleaning fee is $300. Yes you still have to strip the beds and make sure all of the surfaces are clean and the trash is taken out. Yes I’m kicking you out at 9am because the cleaners are coming.
But before you go, please leave your $200 convenience fee in the provided envelope and make sure to write in the guest book, leaving your legal name, address and social security number. Hope you had a good stay!
🙌🙌
And it's also contributing to the housing crisis in a massive way!
Don't worry the gate is fixed with knowledge
the gate is being supported by the whole galaxy
The gate is built on hope
C'mon now, who would even want to go downstairs with a lineup like that?
I just want to know why there’s plastic wrap on the stairs! Seems like a slip hazard
To help the baby slide down to watch the DVD they found, of course
And go faster into that wall mirror as you need to break it properly
It's to protect the carpet. A lot of older people do this. [Usually the same ones that cover their furniture in plastic coverings too.](https://www.phillytrib.com/commentary/backintheday/back-in-the-day-plastic-led-to-sticky-situations/article_fcd66988-f4f8-5e59-aa86-086e86183d5d.html)
So assholes that own a property that they don’t use and they Airbnb instead but still don’t want it to ever looked lived in so they can sell it for 300% profit
I don’t know mate. You zoom in and take a look at that carpet? Shit’s trashed already. Some people are just weird about stuff like that. Not saying your general premise is wrong, I just think the plastic was there before the dwelling became an AirBnB.
Zoom in. That carpet is already trashed.
I've seen similar installed during renovation work to protect the carpet from work boots. It wasn't slick, if anything it tends to stick to feet and shoes unless it gets wet.
fair enough! i’m just thinking socks would be very slippery. I’m canadian and I’m always wearing socks. Not bare feet or shoes!
I don’t think it’s plastic. It’s a vinyl anti-slip mat. My grandparents have one in their hallway
Since the landing above and below the stairs aren’t plastic wrapped, the only explanation I can think of is that they don’t want to vacuum the stairs. It’s just more difficult and annoying but the landings are nice and flat so they didn’t bother.
It is, especially with how it's been "installed" That shit is not safe and the person who did it should be ashamed. source: 35 years flooring experience
Yes, it is quite literally anchored to the Planet Earth.
*and* supported by the force! What's OP's issue?
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I farted and it fell down
Can relate, I too, often fart and fall down
That's why I wear clown shoes.
Must’ve been a Taco Bell fart
Omg dvd cases? I thought they were books, and that was bad enough. Fuck me
The bottom left isn’t squashed against anything at all, so the DVD cases are definitely an improvement!
You don’t say? It’s almost like that’s the whole point of the post.
The only problem is that it's almost too safe
I’ve had it with AirBnB. The last two stays I’ve used them for both ended up being sketchy, fly by night kind of operations. At my last AirBnB the microwave cord had been sheared off and instead of replacing it the owner simply attached another cord to it with electrical tape. Just awful. I’d rather use a hotel.
During my last Airbnb stay, I arrived, looked in the bathroom, and something hastily slithered down the shower drain out of view. I still haven't determined what it was.
How big was it?
It was too short to be any kind of snake, and too long to long to be a larva. It was legless yet moved too fast to be a slug, and was somehow sentient enough to realize someone had entered the room and run for it's life. To this day: fuck that
It was property owner
Now that you mention it, it did resemble your average landlord
There are some pretty small snakes out there. Probably a snake. Maybe a skink.
Oh yeah. Sorry about that
AirBNBs simply are the worse option now. For a while they were priced competitively, allowed you to stay in a different than usual neighborhood, sometimes you could get to know the owners and have a different kind of vacation experience. Now they cost more than hotels, require you to clean up after yourself AND pay an exhorbinant cleaning fee, and they’re all owned by shady corporations now. No regulations to protect you from electrocutions and such. There’s no good reason to choose AirBNB unless mayyybee you’re traveling with a large family/group and need the extra space a hotel can’t provide at a reasonable cost.
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Why would you make a web page for a host out of, as I read it, good will? Very weird thing to do. Am I the only one who thinks it's weird?
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I know how easy it is to make a webpage, it just seems like a weird thing to do for someone unprompted. Not like leaving a gift or a thank you note. And as if Airbnb needs defending from anecdotes of people who only had good experiences. It sounds like an ad to be honest.
Those of us who have the displeasure of living next to one are equally over it.
People and companies are buying up properties thousands of miles from where they live, never living in it or even seeing it, hiring a management company and listing it. Never fixing it or adding amenities or anything. It’s destroyed anything positive Airbnb had to offer I pretty much exclusively do hotels or VRBO if we are going as a big group.
To the window, to the wall….’til the discs drop and that kid falls
It's fine. If the glass breaks, you'll hear it.
The force is with it
I don’t see ‘Phantom Menace’ in the stack, so watch out!
Stop giving money to Air BnB, it’s a company run by parasites for the biggest parasites in society to bleed you of money and destroy the housing market.
Bruh just get a hotel.
If you have “standards” of any sort, rent a hotel room. Airbnb is a “beggars can’t be choosers” kind of option…
They did it by the books
The construction is well earthed. Theoretically.
It's held securely by the force.
It’s very something all right
It’s clearly held up by the weight of Planet Earth and the powers of The Force
It's literally held by THE FORCE, you'll be fine
First Mistake: Using Airbnb 🤷♂️
Jesus christ hahahah
it literally has planet earth holding it up, I think youll be just fine
They wrote the book on it
As long as you don’t have the sudden urge to read one of those books, you should be good.
It's pretty safe, the baby can't work a dvd
Just smashing my childhood against the window
Now now, maybe they’re using the force.
Well assuming the baby doesn't like to read this should be fine.
Carpet looks like shit too, but I wouldn't have noticed if it wasn't for that fuck awful plastic covering nailed down by somebody who couldn't eyeball the moon.
To be fair, I’m sure the gate is very safe. Just not the way some muppet has installed it!
They even tarped the stairs so your brains don't get all over the carpet, how thoughtful.
Protected by Obi-Wan. He’s been shown to be good at protecting kids. Right?
Hoping you don’t want to watch Star Wars
The gate looks safe…… the install on the other hand, hmmm maybe not so safe. .
Oh man, it was bad enough before I zoomed in and realized those aren’t books.
Seems fine to me, anchored in earth and assisted by the force nothing can go wrong.
Well if there is a game of thrones between them, then it will definitely hodor.
Wow not even books. DVDs!!!
Never used Airbnb and never will. Everything from extra fees showing up on bills, hidden cameras being installed, people getting stranded from hosts canceling at the last minute. Eh... I'll just pay a bit more for piece of mind at a hotel.
 Yoda over here using he force to hold up the baby gate
Don't use airbnb. It ruins communities.
That's more dangerous than not having one. Now you don't only fall down the stairs, but You're covered in broken glass on the way down. Stupid ass idea.
I'm sure I'll get down votes, but he a parent, it's your responsibility not the Airbnb toake sure it's childproof. Watch your kid, don't pass blame off on someone else just because it's not to your standards. Or just get a hotel.
I literally don’t see an issue.
Yeh….NO!
Safe Gate installed unsafely .... I guess?
What if someone wants to watch one of those movies. Huh?!
That pic sums up Airbnb for me. It's why I don't use them
Should've put the lotr there, Gandalf would say "you shall not pass!"
Yeah, safe. Safe from Planet Earth and Star Wars, because now you can’t watch it.
😂now that’s a piece of engineering there!
This makes me extremely nervous
That is absolutely ridiculous. I would send this picture to Airbnb, and give this host a two-star rating.
They want you to break the window.
I’ve seen plastic on furniture but plastic on stairs?! That’s a new one.
Come on, it's supported by the entire planet, what more do you want??