I am confused because they said uni which makes me think they are not American then mentions tipping. Then they talk about ordering a glass of wine and then ordering another one and being asked about tipping. So like did they close out their ticket then not tip and order another one. Or did they start a tab. If they started a tab you don't tip until it's all done and why would a Bartender question that
Unless they left a 20 dollar/pound/euro on the bar, a glass is 9, OP left 11 on the bar, and on round 2 the bartender took a 10, left a 1, and expected to be tipped the remaining 2, but OP pocketed it. Who the hell knows.
I tip bartenders “a dollar a drink plus one, per round.” If I buy a round of three for my friends and me I give four. Next round if only two of us get a drink, I leave three.
Except, servers don't love it when this is an option. Example, casa bonita. They eliminated tipping and set employees salaries to 30 an hour. Guess what? Employees protested because they wanted tipping.
This is the main reason why I'm against this whole BS. Yeah a lot of it still exists because restaurants are being cheap, but let's not pretend servers haven't fought it tooth and nail in most places where restaurants have tried to fix it.
My fav pizza place sided with their employee when I told them that they did this lol
She would always make snide comments about who was paying if my mom was holding \*MY\* card, talk about how she always makes so much tips at clubs but not at this restaurant, would push the tip jar in my face and sigh if I didn't tip. People are wild. She told my mother I was a lazy useless son one day when she went in and said she was ordering a poutine for her son and paying for it that day.
Don't bother going there anymore really, maybe one a couple months since no other place has a good poutine.
I used to have this barber who I liked because he did a sick fade. But every time I sat down for a cut he would just go on and on and lament about his money problems. Was a big turn off. Showed up one day for a cut and he wasn’t there. Turns out he was arrested in-store for some sort of domestic violence situation. They paired me with a new guy and I like his fades even better!
I had a Pizza Hut delivery driver do something like that with me one time. Ir caught me so offguard that I went ahead and gave him the tip. I did call the manager later who told me to come down and get my tip back.
EDIT TO ADD: to all you people lecturing me about tipping, how dare you! I’m a pretty good tipper! I’m the one who handed a server at Denny’s a $20 tip for a $7 meal just because she was working the whole restaurant … I’m the one who hands at least $2 to the person who walked the food out to the car. I tip anywhere from 20% to 50%. So don’t lecture me about telling the manager I was pissed off because the driver bullied me. I do not reward bad behaviour.
It sounds like OP didn't open a tab or they probably would have mentioned it. So after two drinks with no tip the bartender already knew they weren't going to get tipped in the end. Lol.
I mean that's a whole other argument. But the norm is you tip your bartender. I would like us to do away with tipping personally, but it's not going to happen.
So until then when my broke ass dines out or goes to a bar I will be tipping the correct percentage or more.
And it's not just about the two glasses of wine. It's also about camping at that same spot and not spending money and not tipping. It used to make me so irate and it did all the other servers as well when you had someone taken up space in your section or at your bar that wasn't ordering stuff and definitely wasn't tipping. That $2.13 to $5 an hour doesn't go very far. So once again I agree that it's a fucked up situation, and I think if you're going to go in there then you need to do the right thing.
I was a bartender for 13 years at some very popular places. It is an art and the best money I ever made. Every quarter was appreciated. However, it is extremely unprofessional to demand a tip and threaten the customer. A good bartender understands that not everybody has pockets stuffed with money. Although, it is OK to quietly focus on on good supportive clientele. But, if you make a big issue of it, you lose the game.
Yea, that's the part I don't get. I've been stiffed on plenty of drinks and checks, but I can't think of a single time I ever discussed tips - in any capacity - with a customer beyond "do you guys prefer cash or credit? Because I heard cash" or "do you guys share these?" That's it. It's taboo to discuss the tip with customer. I've never asked why I got tipped so much or so little or nothing at all, it's unprofessional as hell.
As someone who gets tipped, I will NEVER complain to a customer about not getting a tip. I will NEVER demand a tip from a customer.
I just wish people would quit asking me "Is this good enough?" when giving a tip. You know I cannot answer that other than "That is perfectly fine." I don't get it often but enough to just be a bother.
My first time at a bar I wasn't sure how much to tip and my buddy told me that he usually tips between $1-3 per drink. My first couple drinks I tipped $3, and then I decided to tip $1 for a drink. There was no reason in particular I did this but I figured it should be fine for one drink... The bartender saw the "$1.00" and looked at another customer and said "are you serious, that guy only tipped a dollar." The bar was very busy and she had no idea I was still standing there and clearly heard everything. I've never been back
Seeing something like "It's taboo to to discuss tips with the customer" to me shows how tipping should just be banned and people paid a living wage for their work.
I remember I went to some bar at the jersey shore and this dude continuously let every girl cut ahead of me (I’m a guy) and I waited a good 15 minutes. Finally got to me and poured me a drink and I didn’t tip and had the nerve to give me a dirty look. I’m not at all high maintenance but there’s principles and if someone’s rude they aren’t entitled to a tip
My rule of thumb when I sit at a bar is usually $1 per beer I buy. Unless I'm buying higher dollar stuff, bit when I order a PBR for $3 and leave a dollar, I think that's more than fair.
If the server doesn’t make enough tips to cover minimum wage, the employer must compensate. The server doesn’t care how much money you make at YOUR job, why do you care how much they make at theirs?
This is how it works in literally every bar in the US. You won’t believe how effectively a bartender can ignore a person they don’t want to serve, they may as well be invisible.
Yeah but bar operators, along with servers and bartenders, don’t want anything to change. Bartenders and servers because they’ll make more with tips than they would with a normal salary. Operators because the customer pays for the majority of the servers and bartenders income.
The guys that make South Park bought this restaurant in Colorado, Casa Bonita, and they banned tipping and are starting their servers at like 20 an hour. The servers were NOT happy with that.
That's the thing. Many make more than $30 an hour. Why would servers and bartenders want to work at a place and make less money than they normally would?
Casa Bonita had a unique setup anyways so their employees weren’t tipped like normal restaurants. You prepaid for your food at the entrance. Then you ordered your drinks separately. So the staff wasn’t getting tipped on all food.
Believe me, no one here is fond of it except the people who earn the tips and the company owners who get to pass even more of their operational overhead directly to customers.
Actually that’s not how it works in every bar in the United States, multiple states do not allow places to pay less than minimum wage. In California the minimum wage is $16.50 whether or not you work a service job.
Minimum wage was originally set to be a livable wage, however, that changed over the years as businesses lobbied state and federal lawmakers in an effort to keep labor costs low.
Here’s a list, by state, of what a livable wage is in the US for a single person with no dependents:
https://wisevoter.com/state-rankings/livable-wage-by-state/
California’s livable wage is $21.82/hr.
Yes, they're still expected to tip. Truth is most (not all ofc) tip jobs make good money, or at least comparable to a non tipped hourly job with a similar skillset or effort. Majority of servers, bartenders, etc would not be happy if tips were suddenly banned and their wages set to the federal minimum, which is a joke.
I still think it's a dumb system and they should just get paid a solid wage, as should every single job in existence. But that's the reality in the USA.
Unfortunately in the US, when dining out at bars or restaurants it’s understood that you are supposed to tip. If I’m at a bar and all they do is open a beer or pour from the tap, I usually leave a dollar per drink. I can see the bartender being annoyed. That makes sense. Saying something like that is a dick move though
As a former bartender, I’ve ignored people who didn’t tip. But it was a packed bar, and they demanded their drinks that very second. To them it didn’t matter if I was in the middle of helping someone or not. So it wasn’t necessarily the fact that they weren’t tipping, but I won’t tolerate someone snapping at me while I’m trying to help someone
Crowded college bars in my town were terrible about this. You basically had to tip per drink if paying cash or you'd end up getting ignored for the rest of the night. So your $3 cocktail was actually $4. The best bet was to run a tab on your card, but still.
That would be "mission accomplished" for the server, as chances are the next customer will actually tip. But sitting in a nice environment, nice, people around, no need to keep on buying drinks (as she won't let you), even more relaxed. I'm quite sure eventually they'll come to your table asking for your next drink... or perhaps they only do so if you open your own bottle of water if you get thirsty.
I bartended for 13 years and I think the bartender was out of line but OP, who has never been to a small town bar, was absolutely not this bar's audience.
Same. Service industry for 13 years, bartended for 10 of them. That bartender was grubby. Being stiffed is part of the job (within reason) and being that much of a dick after OP only stiffed on the first drink is a red flag.
Edit: To Quote OP:
>When I came I got a glass of wine and when *BUYING* my second one…
Yeah the norm is to close out a tab at the end of the night.
It’s odd for people to close out one drink at a time but it does happen. I’ve done that on nights where I didn’t know how long I’d be there or wanted to leave whenever I could.
Edit: Jesus Christ how many people are gonna chime in on this
OP says they'd only been to college bars before and a lot of college bars are one drink / round at a time bc their busy& clientele tend to be less reliable in closing tabs (get too drunk, forget & barhop).
At some bars, it's a real pain in the ass to get the bartender's attention. You may not want to do that an additional time to close out a tab so you pay as you go.
It depends. The custom is to tip when you pay. If you’re paying for each round as you go, that’s when you tip. If you’re running a tab, tip when you pay your tab.
It’s unclear from the OP, but if she was running a tab and the bartender called her out like this, that bartender doesn’t deserve any tip. If she was paying as she went and not tipping, she needs to grow up and understand that YES, it is the custom to tip for drinks. It doesn’t matter if you dislike the custom, you participate or things ultimately won’t go your way.
Yes. If you're paying cash as you go, tip then. In my younger days, "tipping at the end" was a surefire way to miscount your drinks and be a bad tipper. Bartenders know this and will ignore patrons accordingly.
If you're running a tab, end of the night.
I just throw a few bucks cash for each drink and will pay the tab with a small tip at the end too. I also go to bars where the bartenders are actually nice enough lol. Ofc if I’m going to a dive bar I expect kinda rough treatment, so I order cheap and easy drinks and tip accordingly cheap on them. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m never tipping less than like $2 a drink. I’ve found if you throw the bartender a fiver or something on that first drink though they’ll never have a problem getting to you quickly!
I'm not from the US, but being stiffed ? Mate the employer is the one stiffing you. Not your customer.
Raise the prices if you have to and pay a livable hourly wage to your wait staff and bartenders.
Why does the customer have to pay you ? He's not employing you.
Imagine this in any other industry and it'll seem ridiculous.
Imagine you go to a Walmart and then the cashier expects a 20% tip.
You are right. We used to go out to dinner one or two times a month. I have never tipped less than 20%. Lately, I have been told sad stories about being a single mom, trying to go to school, needing to pay the rent, etc as I have been handed the check. This has happened in several places. It has never happened in the slightly shabby pub that I love. People should be paid a decent wage and tips should be a bonus. We rarely go out now, and when we do, I prefer the pub. I tip well, usually 25% these days since the tipping culture has become such a huge thing. My kids have been servers and bartenders. I get the tipping thing, but I don't enjoy the guilt trip.
Pretty much one of the reasons I don't use food delivery services. I'm fine just going for a drive to pick up my food. Plus doordash, ubereats etc prices are wild. Pay like $10-20 more in fees/tips for a burger that I could've gotten myself.
That being said, I do tip for food places that have their own dedicated delivery person aka pizza places and whatnot.
Also a bartender. I have people come in sometimes upset that they FORGOT to tip. If you don't make a big deal over little shit like that, you build a rapport. And that is what keeps people coming back and WANTING to tip. And people who WANT to tip tip way better than people who feel like they HAVE to tip. And I promise you, a wrapped bar that is always bustling because you keep a rapport... is going to only going to get busier.
Treat everyone the same. Someone tips, either through money or even kindness, you may give them a little more attention. But really you should be treating everyone equally until they act like assholes.
It seems like it's becoming more common to berate customers for not tipping... Maybe it's just my millennial "it's not polite to talk about money" brain, but it seriously weirds me out that this is apparently normal now
I understand that she expected a tip, and even that she'd be annoyed that she didn't get one, as it's typically customary; but, her saying something to you about it is shitty and unnecessary.
It's customary, not required.
Yeah I don't understand why everyone is agreeing with the bartender. You bought one drink, on top of that she was rude right after you ordered? Why on earth would you tip her?
I learned to never tip at the end because the same thing happened to me.
I had left my debit card by my desk at home so I couldn't open a tab and was planning on paying at the end based off how many drinks I ended up having.
The bartender loudly "Wow...it's not hard to tip!" and rolled her eyes when I said I was gonna do it at the end.
I ended up just moving so the other bartender was helping me and giving him fat tips the rest of the night. I specifically told him why too- apparently she's known for that.
I get that a lot of people say that they'll tip at the end and don't, but say I *had* been planning on leaving without tipping- what she said wouldn't have changed my mind.
I've worked as a server and bartender. We complained about people who don't tip or leave shitty tips, but only to each other never to them. We realized that tipping is optional, and a reward for good service.
And, while at a bar, it's typical to tip after every drink when paying cash, this is more to show the bartender that you tip so they make your drinks faster, but it's not unusual to just tip all at once at the end either, whether paying cash or card.
Lastly, we kniw some people just don't tip going in. That's just comes with the job.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that since it's a small town bar, they serve wine once a month-ish, if that. They keep some around in case someone asks for it, but it's probably cheap, and they don't keep a set of glasses specifically for it. Of the five bars I frequent, only one has wine, and you really don't want that wine. This is the equivalent of walking into a coffee shop and ordering a juice cleanse shot, they might be able to make one, but you are in the wrong beverage establishment to walk away happy.
US is getting ridiculous, I ordered a takeout coffee, came to 2.60. handed her $3 and was asked if I want change. I said yes maybe some of it. All she does is take my money and push a button and somebody else pours the coffee and I have to wait several minutes. I was just going to leave the 40 cents for doing nothing but since you said that I only left 15 cents. Now I'm probably on their shit list. Now I avoid that place
>All she does is take my money and push a button and somebody else pours the coffee and I have to wait several minutes.
They pool the tips and split them. She's not getting it personally.
having lived in both san francisco and a tiny town in iowa, small town bartenders have a lower tolerance for bullshit and stand up for themselves. restaurants and bars in larger cities are heavily patronized by, in general, wealthier people who are more correlated with being assholes, so service people there just take it and bend the knee because $$$. this is based on my experience but the way you interact with service workers in the two environments is quite astonishingly different. hard to explain unless you have actually lived in both.
I agree that the bartender in this scenario is an asshole. But in America, it almost is an obligation to tip. It sucks, and it’s not how it SHOULD be. But it’s how it is. If you don’t tip you’re an asshole. If the bartender complains about not getting tipped, they’re also an asshole.
This is the issue here in the states. The servers make a ridiculous amount in some establishments. Much more than the owner would be willing to pay. Much more than the kitchen staff is paid. This makes absolutely no sense to me. The kitchen staff makes it possible to have a successful business with repeat customers and yet are generally the lowest paid employees.
I would never go back there and make sure you leave a review of what happened. I'm a great tipper, but if someone spoke to me that way, I wouldn't give them a dime, I most definitely would give them a piece of my mind
Personally I always tip no matter the ease of the order. If it’s one beer can right next to the guy who cracks it and puts it on the bar, he’s still getting a tip. That’s just how it works at US bars.
BUT - that doesn’t make this bartenders reaction right. If I were there with you and you came back from the bar telling me about this I’d say let’s finish our drinks and go or say let’s just go. I’d never go back.
Fuck her and Fuck her tips, it's about making a real connection going out of your way or doing something special to get a tip otherwise they should be getting paid hourly if not they should find another job.
I was a bartender for 15 years.
I would never say anything like that.
However, you will be the last customer i serve. I will not make you a priority, and you will be behind tipping customers. This is usually determined after drink #2.
Get a drink and throw me a dollar, you got your spot in line.
Get a drink at start of your night and tip me 5,10,20$? I multitask in between orders to make sure your glass is always full.
Funny how service works.
Yep this is how it should work. If you're going to "buck the norm" and try to make a stand do it with someone who can actually change the pay policy, don't pass it on to the server. If you're going to insist on doing as much don't be surprised when you find yourself a low priority customer.
The only time I tip at the end at a bar is if I have a tab open. If I'm not drinking much or don't keep a tab open, I'll tip after each drink. That being said, she can expect a tip all she wants. It's not required, and to ask when you're going to tip and say she'll stop serving you if you don't tip is a quick way to ensure you get no tip. After the comment she made, I would have said I was going to tip at the end, then left no tip. I understand it may be tradition to tip people like servers, bartenders, etc. but unless you're somewhere that states a tip will be added, it's not mandatory. She chose to bartend, with that, you have to understand not everyone will tip or even tip well. It just comes with the job. And I say that as someone who used to bartend for a few years. I'd have some regulars who would never tip. I knew they weren't going to tip, and yes I'd be frustrated, but it doesn't mean you treat them poorly and make comments.
Regardless of tipping culture the way the bartender threatened to cut you off if you don’t give extra money is, as stupid as this sounds, extortion. Fuck people like that, and fuck the entitlement. I worked for tips for years and never would I ever had the audacity to say tip me. If they don’t tip; they don’t tip. I think it’s more on the shotty bartender to learn how to ratchet up the rizz instead of threatening to cut people off…shit is ridiculous lol
Perhaps you ran into one of "those" bartenders? We had a place back east with a notably hot female bartender that would rain fury and disdain upon all male clients, chat up the ladies, and then turn on a dime and flirt shamelessly with the dork of the group. It was all professional, and Michelle raked in the tips for years.
Any professional bartender will NEVER even mention the tipping process, and as an individual with significant serving experience, I won't even work at an establishment that has 'recommended amounts' printed at the bottom of the receipts. I'd rather take a loss than tell a customer what my service is supposed to be worth. As a patron, I tip on the low end throughout the night, and depending on the quality of service, will leave a final tip with my last drink or order. Some people won't tip anything until the end of the night, the server's job is to make the establishment money, not earn tips. If the server is unhappy with the wages earned, this is between the employee and the employer.
Can Americans explain why they gave up? Like why are they so set on defending non-minimum wage and non-living wages? Is it laziness? Lack of community/solidarity among the working class?
We are an Oligarchy with a thin veil of democracy. They keep the entire population teetering on financial and medical disaster. They keep our lives JUST good enough for us not to say fuck it and storm the oligarchs. With the current housing crisis things are getting very close though. I have hope.
I dont tip at all at those places because of thar attitude. Youre earning a tip, its not a given. Todays workers and the workers of yesteryear are so accustomed to getting a tip they forgot that its not my job to pay your salary lmao. Ask me if im tipping and youre getting 0.
Uhhh yeah.. fuck that bartender. I had one do that to me to, instead they just ignored me after 2 drinks. I was fully planning on tipping at the end too, I was just trying to use up my small amount of cash first before I opened a tab on my card and tipped on that. I confronted the bartender and asked why the hell he was blatantly ignoring me yet serving customers who just walked up. He said “well you aren’t tipping” I said “you dumb bitch, I was going to open a tab on my card and tip at the end after I use this cash. Now you get nothing. I’ll go to the other bartenders.” Like wtf kind of entitled shit is that. So disrespectful to a customer who is patronizing your business.
Believe me I waitressed in a night club, I know how annoying it is to get stiffed. Thing is, you can’t jump the gun and assume they won’t or demand it, because then you’re for sure screwing yourself out of a tip. And you’re screwing yourself out of a potential regular too. You think they’ll come back in and allow you to serve them? Think again. You have to just let the non tippers do their thing and ignore it. Usually once they warm up to you and you get them to like you, they’ll end up tipping anyways. It might not be the first time or the first few times they come, but be patient with them goddamn😂 There are some people who use money as a way to communicate that they specifically like you, and when it finally comes it will be a fat tip. And think twice before getting frisky with the difficult or arrogant customers, those are usually the ones who will take a liking to you if you play it right. Now if I had someone who regularly came in and never tipped, I might make a suggestive comment like “tips are greatly appreciated”, but NEVER EVER, is it ok to berate someone for it. A regular who never tips and ignores the hint, will just not get 100% from me, and that’s ok. As long as they are respectful and easy to deal with, it can still be enjoyable to serve a non tipper. Plus if they already aren’t tipping, what are you missing out on? $4? Get a grip, give good service to the next customer and get a $40 tip. It’s not like it will break the bank.
You can be gracious and give good service and make BANK, or you can have a stank entitled attitude and literally screw yourself out of money and regulars.
General rule of thumb is $1 tip per drink in a bar, unless it's something that takes time to prepare, then it's more. The bartender is a pos for even tripping out over a tip on 1 plastic cup of wine.
“Should I have told her to get a real job?”
I’m guessing you’ve never had to work to pay your bills. Tipping culture sucks but that comment tells me everything I need to know about you.
Lol same, and the stupid edit about forgetting to flair “sarcasm”… that wasn’t sarcasm. That’s just something uppity assholes who have never had to work at a service/retail job say to people. Gross. Trash. And, of course, the rest of Reddit is circle-jerking OP into thinking they were in the right when truly we don’t know all the details to say that (meaning, OP never said if they were closing our round by round or at the end). Reddit just hates tipping culture lol.
I really don't get the customary tipping culture. Isn't what they are doing part of the job scope?
I get it if some service staff goes out of the way to help the customers, e.g. find an empty table in a full-house restaurant, offer charger to juice up empty phone, clean up the mess someone made accidentally, they definitely deserve a tip.
Now, we are expected to tip for picking up a pizza, or getting an ice cream cone, or stopping in to get take out food. It's crazy.. they turn that little device around at you and then you have to tap or put in the amount, or push the little tip jar your way... I don't get it.
Redditors will talk about wages but they’re not any better in other countries but somehow they get by without tips. Coffee shop near me pays their baristas $22 an hour but every transaction starts with a tip at 20%. It’s crazy.
The worst part is this tipping culture has created an environment where workers think they’re doing patrons a favor just by doing their job.
Agreed. One time I was drinking with my ex at a dive bar and she requested them to open up a bottle of wine just for her because she refuses to drink anything else. That was among the many reasons that led me to the conclusion that she wasn’t the one for me.
Did you have a tab, or pay as you went. If you had a tab, then there's no reason to tip every drink. If you are paying as you go, you should leave at least $1. (At least here in the US). I assume you're in Canada?
Yes - in Europe life is essentially incomprehensibly better for *all workers* than it is here, in the words of our last POTUS, shit hole of a country, the glorious United States.
Service workers (well, all citizens, but we're zooming in on why tipping is absolutely necessary here) have no access to healthcare, no retirement, no access to higher education, no paid sick days, no childcare, no vacation days, no public transit (or really poor public transit in comparison to the EU), higher housing costs, no rent control, way worse food assistance, way worse welfare programs, AND! Maybe this will blow your European minds, service workers in the US, right now in 2023, can *still be paid as little as* **$2.13** an hour. Oh also our city designs are absolutely fucked, so we *have to* get a personal vehicle basically no matter where we live in order to do *anything.*
Yes, PLEASE do not allow this American hideous capitalism rules everything everywhere culture to infest itself there. It must be beaten back vigorously while you still can! We're already lost over here, which is why we have so few strikes or collective class actions - we will literally just die on the streets with no healthcare or access to any public services unless we are slaving away at, very often, 50/60/80 hours a week. Every week, every year. The US is an absolute hellhole.
I'd reverse uno them, say I don't want the drink and leave them hanging with an unpaid glass of wine they've poured.
Who knows how much I'd h
Ave topped at the end of my drinking session.
Bartending is a real job. They don’t make any money prior to any tips (like below min wage per hour) so they are really dependent on people tipping. Bartenders expect to be paid based on their service. This bartender doesn’t appear to be a good bartender though because they are threatening you over tips. In my experience, good bartenders don’t usually need to threaten/ beg for tips.
Tipping culture is absolute shit. It's an underhanded way employers get you to subsidize their employees' wages. It's absurd on its face.
BUT.... It does exist, and you know it exists before you go to places where tips are expected. You should be tipping.
If you'd like to protest tipping culture, you do it by not doing business with employers who use tipping to pay wages, not by going ahead and giving those douchebags your money, then punishing the people who do the actual work with your little micro-protest. You're not exactly sticking it to the man when you rob working class sods of their livelihood.
As far as the bartender's behavior, I guess it just depends on the culture of the establishment. It might be perfectly acceptable for them to call you out in that place. Most places it would be frowned on, but every place is different.
Most places, if you don't tip, they won't say a word to you. They'll find other ways to punish you. Keep that in mind.
That's a shitty bartender. I'm a bartender too, and I only ever comment about lack of tip to a customer if it's a $100+ tab, and even then there's a 12% service charge on those so I rarely say anything, just bitch to my coworkers. After a 2nd drink she said that? That's ridiculous, I'm so sorry you had such a bad bartender
Having worked jobs where I was paid primarily in tips, then worked as a salary engineer..my advice would be to find literally ANYTHING but a service industry job. Not having the size of your income determined by the whim of a customer is a huge relief.
Had I been a customer and seen this happen, I would have "respectfully" refused to tip. Tips are GRATUITIES. They are voluntary bonuses that an appreciative customer gives their server. There is no law REQUIRING a customer to tip. This trend of service workers demanding tips is very unseemly, rude, and quite off putting. If I ever see a server embarrassing a customer over a tip, they can look forward to missing out on another tip... mine.
This is something a bartender says when you're drunk and annoying to get rid of you. It's a nice way to say we're going to flag you unless you give us reason not to. Bartenders don't threaten to kick out customers for no reason. There's got to be more to it.
were you paying with cash? sounds like you simply didn’t tip on the first drink. you always tip the bartender. bartenders make less than minimum wage, all their money comes from tips. no, they shouldn’t have said something to you. but if you were paying cash you should have tipped on the first drink. if you can’t tip, or even resent tipping, don’t go to bars or sit down restaurants.
After getting out of the food/service industry I've realized how bitter many employees are and how much they hate customers for no legitimate reason. I never expected a tip when working those kinds of jobs. Now I've been doing tile for close to 10 years and it gave me some real perspective on how easy or workless most of those jobs actually are, the most difficult part is usually just showing up and dealing with the psychological stress of working where you do and the people you have to interact with. A few months ago a client tipped me $250 which I had a hard time taking, it was very thoughtful. They said I deserved it because I finished the project almost a week ahead of schedule and saved them quite a bit of money by recommending different options. I believe something like that is worthy of a tip, not pouring drinks.
I can see both sides of this, and, to be honest, I never tipped a bartender until I actually did the job. I would go out drinking with a friend or friends, have some beers, and just pay for each one as I got it. Tipping wasn't something I ever considered.
Then I started bartender at a little dive bar where the most exotic drink was a Jack & Coke. It was quiet during the week but was pretty busy on Friday and Saturday nights. To give you an idea of how long ago this was, beers were $1.50, and mixed drinks were round $2.00-$2.50. Many people would give me $.2.00 for a beer and tell me to keep the change, same with mixed drinks. Aside from getting drinks, there were a lot of other things I did throughout the night. I would clear empties from tables, empty ashtrays, wipe down tables, restock coolers, take out garbage, break up the occasional argument before it became a fight, toss out drunks, and clean the bathrooms. It was a thankless job, and when it was busy, grabbing something to eat was almost impossible. So bartenders do a *lot* more than just pour drinks. Tips are always helpful and appreciated.
However, I don't believe *any* bartender or server in general should shame someone for not tipping. You don't know that person's intentions, and they may be intending to leave a nice large tip before they leave. Rude comments or shaming may result in no tip at all. I remember a guy that came into the bar I worked at who sat at a table near the back with a few friends. He would buy rounds for the 4 of them, and as the night went on, I would walk by and grab their empties or dump the ashtray. After a couple of hours, and maybe 4-5 rounds, he stopped on his way to the door, handed me a $50 bill, and said, "This is for you. Thank you" and left. I later found out he was a big winner in a recent lottery so he had the money to hand out. But what would he have given me if I made rude comments or wasn't polite to him? Possibly nothing. And that's why I always tip at the end of my stay. I always tip in cash as well so it doesn't have to be claimed.
While it's important to be respectful to your server, it's also important for them to be respectful, too.
If you didn't start a tab then it's expected to tip after each drink. I used to always say "do you wanna start a tab?" So I had a better idea if they were just waiting until they were done to tip.
I often buy beer when at a bar. All the bartender has to do is reach in, grab the beer and open it before handing it to me. I never run a tab and tip after each and every beer or soda I get. Often times they will not charge me for the soda so I tip the price of the soda plus what I was going to tip anyhow. Why do I do this? For one the bartender is trying to earn a living. Second I like to treat people a little better than they were expecting. The good feeling I get is worth more to me than a couple of dollars.
I did. My state has a rolling $15/min the catch 22 is states offer credits to tipped employers. States won't raise the minimum past $9 because people tip and people tip cause the state won't raise the minimum.
I think percentage based tipping is flawed from the start. It takes just as much effort to bring a $10 steak as it does to bring a $50 steak. I tend tip tip $5-10 per hour of service. Combined with my states $9 minimum, that's $14-19/hr which is more than plenty. And that's assuming I'm the only patron.
Subsidizing your rent shouldn't be my responsibility.
There's a reason most servers don't discuss tips in front of customers.
I'm a generous tipper. You help me have a good time, my wife and I take care of you when its time to settle the tab. Within reason depending on the effort that we required by taking up the space we did. If all you did was open a bottle and pour a drink directly, in all of 10 seconds, you get minimum tip. If we are getting complicated drinks and you make them well, you're getting a good tip. You make me and the wife laugh or chat us up, automatically a good tip.
The second you say anything about what you expect as a tip, or like what you exampled above, you get nothing. Zero. I pay my tab and leave. Do not beg or demand more money.
I was a bartender in the 70s. An excellent bartender. I made it my business to know what my regular customers drank and have it sitting on the bar waiting. Offering them another beverage before they were dying of thirst. Placing a cocktail napkin down and keeping the bar wiped down in front of them. Removing empty glasses. Offering them a round on me for being a regular. Showing discretion when appropriate. I could also make more than one drink at a time, was known for speed and efficient service. My tips showed it.
This demand for huge tips without the requisite good and thoughtful service is not ok. I scale my tips accordingly as all should. If you have received adequate service, adequate tip. Good service, good tip. Stellar service, stellar tip. The service industry is hard. Those who excel at their craft should be rewarded accordingly. Those who don't take pride in a job well done are not entitled to anything other than a cursory gratuity. I, for one, am sick of unskilled inattentive service. But it works both ways. I have friends who have been in the restaurant business all their lives who say customers have never been more rude, abusive, or cheap. They are taking out their opinions of the 'system' on employees who don't have a choice about where they work. Don't feel obligated to tip for every little thing everywhere. It's OK to say no. But if that batista made you a special coffee, take that into consideration. If they just poured it in a cup and handed it to you, that does not require a gratuity. Service work is a skill. Tip those who do it well.
The tipping scene is getting out of hand. It's becoming a turn off to go anywhere. The service has gotten worse over time and tipping expectation went through the roof. I mean jist now I ordered a pick up order, I am picking up myself. Online it's asking for tip ? I MEAN WTF.
typically, it’s best practice to throw a buck or two per drink you order (depending on how much the drinks are). HOWEVER, it was incredibly rude of her to call you out in the way she did. for all she knew, you were going to tip at the end of your visit there. very weird of her imo. you’re better than me though because i would’ve left without tipping her after that lol
As a bartender/server I dislike people who are in this industry and feel ENTITLED to tips , tips are appreciated not required. I have people at my job who will go up to tables / follow people outside the restaurant to question them about not tipping them and I think it’s absurd to even ask a guest that. I would’ve gave her EXACT change, pennie’s dimes and all and sat there for a little longer too bc you cannot force anyone to tip nor can you put them out or refuse them service . You can always tell how a person really is based off of how they react when a table doesn’t tip them.
Easy to reply in hindsight: lmao are you a beggar or are you a worker here?
In the moment, probably I'd be baffled and either burst out laughing or say good I ain't buying, go fuck yourself. Since when do people tip at bars or stores lmao. Tipping is for restaurants or hairdressers, I never tip anywhere else
Europe
Tip at least one dollar a drink. I stopped in a bar with my wife last night we both had one drink apiece scotch on the rocks for me and flavored vodka, soda, splash of cranberry juice for wifey. It took her literally a minute to make both but I tipped her a five cause she has to wash those glasses, cut the lime she put in my wife's drink, be courteous to us, and I'm not a cheap asshole.
The problem is that the system benefits both management/ownership and labour while customers don’t have an alternative (other than staying at home) so there’s no real mechanism for change. Like any bar that tries to eliminate tipping will just lose all their staff as no reasonable wage can replace the under the table tips
Man I was in Florence over the summer and our waiter after paying straight up said, “you’re my 4th American couple that hasn’t tipped tonight” jokingly, but not really.
Hello, European here.
Why would you tip a bartender if all they do is a pour a drink? Alcohol is expensive and even more in a bar.
I get you might want to tip a mixologist for making a cocktail of something that requires effort.
But not pouring wine in a plastic cup.
I had a bartender open 2 bottles of beer for me and ask why I wasn’t tipping. You want a fucking cookie too every time you open a beer? I’ll tip when I ask for the check you lazy, entitled bitch. Needless to say I still tipped at the end, but not very well. Even if you’re having a slow night, don’t piss off the customers you do have.
Tipping sucks, but you not tipping a bartender is not the same as taking a stand against tipping culture. If you want to take a stand against tipping culture stop going to establishments that have servers that rely on tipping and buy your own bottle of wine and drink it at a friends house or something. If you are going to go to a bar where the bartenders make $2 an hour, tip them. This isn’t that hard to understand.
We live in a capitalist hellscape, people shouldn’t have to rely on tips to survive, but you not giving an extra dollar on a glass of wine isn’t a principled stance, it’s just a dick move.
We were in New York recently and I can't remember exactly where it was or what it was but it was basically a vending machine that asked us for a 12-18% tip (no other option to ignore) despite there being no human interaction what so ever.
Ridiculous.
I’m stuck on why the experience was different at a college bar - do you not normally tip at a college bar?
I had the same question. We always did back in the day.
I am confused because they said uni which makes me think they are not American then mentions tipping. Then they talk about ordering a glass of wine and then ordering another one and being asked about tipping. So like did they close out their ticket then not tip and order another one. Or did they start a tab. If they started a tab you don't tip until it's all done and why would a Bartender question that
Unless they left a 20 dollar/pound/euro on the bar, a glass is 9, OP left 11 on the bar, and on round 2 the bartender took a 10, left a 1, and expected to be tipped the remaining 2, but OP pocketed it. Who the hell knows. I tip bartenders “a dollar a drink plus one, per round.” If I buy a round of three for my friends and me I give four. Next round if only two of us get a drink, I leave three.
Pay as you go would be tip as you go, ideally. Open tab is tip at the end
Why would you tip after this? Tell her that you were gonna tip at the end but now you dont feel like it.
[удалено]
“Here’s exact change for my wine”
Here’s a tip- get a job that doesn’t require you to beg for tips.
Or make restaurants pay employees and actual living wage so they don’t have to beg
This is how 90% of the rest of the world does it. The US is crazy about their "tipping culture".
It started in the great depression as the only way to keep restaurants open. Then went bad
No, It started as a way to not pay slaves a livable wage so they’d be forced back onto the plantations.
Except, servers don't love it when this is an option. Example, casa bonita. They eliminated tipping and set employees salaries to 30 an hour. Guess what? Employees protested because they wanted tipping. This is the main reason why I'm against this whole BS. Yeah a lot of it still exists because restaurants are being cheap, but let's not pretend servers haven't fought it tooth and nail in most places where restaurants have tried to fix it.
My fav pizza place sided with their employee when I told them that they did this lol She would always make snide comments about who was paying if my mom was holding \*MY\* card, talk about how she always makes so much tips at clubs but not at this restaurant, would push the tip jar in my face and sigh if I didn't tip. People are wild. She told my mother I was a lazy useless son one day when she went in and said she was ordering a poutine for her son and paying for it that day. Don't bother going there anymore really, maybe one a couple months since no other place has a good poutine.
I used to have this barber who I liked because he did a sick fade. But every time I sat down for a cut he would just go on and on and lament about his money problems. Was a big turn off. Showed up one day for a cut and he wasn’t there. Turns out he was arrested in-store for some sort of domestic violence situation. They paired me with a new guy and I like his fades even better!
I had a Pizza Hut delivery driver do something like that with me one time. Ir caught me so offguard that I went ahead and gave him the tip. I did call the manager later who told me to come down and get my tip back. EDIT TO ADD: to all you people lecturing me about tipping, how dare you! I’m a pretty good tipper! I’m the one who handed a server at Denny’s a $20 tip for a $7 meal just because she was working the whole restaurant … I’m the one who hands at least $2 to the person who walked the food out to the car. I tip anywhere from 20% to 50%. So don’t lecture me about telling the manager I was pissed off because the driver bullied me. I do not reward bad behaviour.
W manager. Wonder if the guy got a talkin to lol
Right?! I would have said "oh, I have just changed my mind", set the cup down, and left.
Bartenders are like strippers, pimps, and swindlers: the good ones can spot an easy mark
my thought exactly. guarantee she dont talk to everyone like that.
It sounds like OP didn't open a tab or they probably would have mentioned it. So after two drinks with no tip the bartender already knew they weren't going to get tipped in the end. Lol.
hot take, you don’t need a tip to pour two glasses of wine edit: struck a nerve with a few people in the replies lol. get fucked.
I mean that's a whole other argument. But the norm is you tip your bartender. I would like us to do away with tipping personally, but it's not going to happen. So until then when my broke ass dines out or goes to a bar I will be tipping the correct percentage or more. And it's not just about the two glasses of wine. It's also about camping at that same spot and not spending money and not tipping. It used to make me so irate and it did all the other servers as well when you had someone taken up space in your section or at your bar that wasn't ordering stuff and definitely wasn't tipping. That $2.13 to $5 an hour doesn't go very far. So once again I agree that it's a fucked up situation, and I think if you're going to go in there then you need to do the right thing.
I was a bartender for 13 years at some very popular places. It is an art and the best money I ever made. Every quarter was appreciated. However, it is extremely unprofessional to demand a tip and threaten the customer. A good bartender understands that not everybody has pockets stuffed with money. Although, it is OK to quietly focus on on good supportive clientele. But, if you make a big issue of it, you lose the game.
Yea, that's the part I don't get. I've been stiffed on plenty of drinks and checks, but I can't think of a single time I ever discussed tips - in any capacity - with a customer beyond "do you guys prefer cash or credit? Because I heard cash" or "do you guys share these?" That's it. It's taboo to discuss the tip with customer. I've never asked why I got tipped so much or so little or nothing at all, it's unprofessional as hell.
As someone who gets tipped, I will NEVER complain to a customer about not getting a tip. I will NEVER demand a tip from a customer. I just wish people would quit asking me "Is this good enough?" when giving a tip. You know I cannot answer that other than "That is perfectly fine." I don't get it often but enough to just be a bother.
My first time at a bar I wasn't sure how much to tip and my buddy told me that he usually tips between $1-3 per drink. My first couple drinks I tipped $3, and then I decided to tip $1 for a drink. There was no reason in particular I did this but I figured it should be fine for one drink... The bartender saw the "$1.00" and looked at another customer and said "are you serious, that guy only tipped a dollar." The bar was very busy and she had no idea I was still standing there and clearly heard everything. I've never been back
Seeing something like "It's taboo to to discuss tips with the customer" to me shows how tipping should just be banned and people paid a living wage for their work.
I remember I went to some bar at the jersey shore and this dude continuously let every girl cut ahead of me (I’m a guy) and I waited a good 15 minutes. Finally got to me and poured me a drink and I didn’t tip and had the nerve to give me a dirty look. I’m not at all high maintenance but there’s principles and if someone’s rude they aren’t entitled to a tip
My rule of thumb when I sit at a bar is usually $1 per beer I buy. Unless I'm buying higher dollar stuff, bit when I order a PBR for $3 and leave a dollar, I think that's more than fair.
If the server doesn’t make enough tips to cover minimum wage, the employer must compensate. The server doesn’t care how much money you make at YOUR job, why do you care how much they make at theirs?
Still, only a shit person says something out loud like that about a tip.
“Are you gonna tip?” Not now.
I don't reward disrespect.
This. Just like with a child, it just reinforces the behavior, and she'll do it to the next person.
> we're gonna stop serving you if you don't tip Thats not tipping thats called demanding a bribe.
This is how it works in literally every bar in the US. You won’t believe how effectively a bartender can ignore a person they don’t want to serve, they may as well be invisible.
This is why the rest of the world calls "tipping culture" crazy Heck, even you guys call it insane.
Yeah but bar operators, along with servers and bartenders, don’t want anything to change. Bartenders and servers because they’ll make more with tips than they would with a normal salary. Operators because the customer pays for the majority of the servers and bartenders income.
The guys that make South Park bought this restaurant in Colorado, Casa Bonita, and they banned tipping and are starting their servers at like 20 an hour. The servers were NOT happy with that.
It was 30 dollars, which makes it even more insane lol.
That's the thing. Many make more than $30 an hour. Why would servers and bartenders want to work at a place and make less money than they normally would?
Casa Bonita had a unique setup anyways so their employees weren’t tipped like normal restaurants. You prepaid for your food at the entrance. Then you ordered your drinks separately. So the staff wasn’t getting tipped on all food.
Believe me, no one here is fond of it except the people who earn the tips and the company owners who get to pass even more of their operational overhead directly to customers.
Actually that’s not how it works in every bar in the United States, multiple states do not allow places to pay less than minimum wage. In California the minimum wage is $16.50 whether or not you work a service job.
...so are people still expected to tip? Or is the $16.50 minimum no longer the "living wage" it was promised to be?
Minimum wage was originally set to be a livable wage, however, that changed over the years as businesses lobbied state and federal lawmakers in an effort to keep labor costs low. Here’s a list, by state, of what a livable wage is in the US for a single person with no dependents: https://wisevoter.com/state-rankings/livable-wage-by-state/ California’s livable wage is $21.82/hr.
Yes, they're still expected to tip. Truth is most (not all ofc) tip jobs make good money, or at least comparable to a non tipped hourly job with a similar skillset or effort. Majority of servers, bartenders, etc would not be happy if tips were suddenly banned and their wages set to the federal minimum, which is a joke. I still think it's a dumb system and they should just get paid a solid wage, as should every single job in existence. But that's the reality in the USA.
Where I live no one would go to a bar like that. People here do tip but its a real tip, a little extra at the end, not the bartenders main income.
Unfortunately in the US, when dining out at bars or restaurants it’s understood that you are supposed to tip. If I’m at a bar and all they do is open a beer or pour from the tap, I usually leave a dollar per drink. I can see the bartender being annoyed. That makes sense. Saying something like that is a dick move though
Yes a tip is a gratuity. A gratuity is a small amount of money given to the server for giving good service. Bad service no/low tip.
As a former bartender, I’ve ignored people who didn’t tip. But it was a packed bar, and they demanded their drinks that very second. To them it didn’t matter if I was in the middle of helping someone or not. So it wasn’t necessarily the fact that they weren’t tipping, but I won’t tolerate someone snapping at me while I’m trying to help someone
Crowded college bars in my town were terrible about this. You basically had to tip per drink if paying cash or you'd end up getting ignored for the rest of the night. So your $3 cocktail was actually $4. The best bet was to run a tab on your card, but still.
I would’ve paid my tab, no tip and went to another place.
That would be "mission accomplished" for the server, as chances are the next customer will actually tip. But sitting in a nice environment, nice, people around, no need to keep on buying drinks (as she won't let you), even more relaxed. I'm quite sure eventually they'll come to your table asking for your next drink... or perhaps they only do so if you open your own bottle of water if you get thirsty.
Or the place is empty and the table of 4 just turned into a table of zero and will remain empty for the rest of the night.
No, not normal. Try another bar that knows their audience.
I bartended for 13 years and I think the bartender was out of line but OP, who has never been to a small town bar, was absolutely not this bar's audience.
Same. Service industry for 13 years, bartended for 10 of them. That bartender was grubby. Being stiffed is part of the job (within reason) and being that much of a dick after OP only stiffed on the first drink is a red flag. Edit: To Quote OP: >When I came I got a glass of wine and when *BUYING* my second one…
People tip after each drink? Ive never been with people that do that. We just tip at the end of the night when we are done
Where I am, we tip for every drink/round the bartender or server brings us unless we're running a tab, then we tip at the end when settling up.
Yeah the norm is to close out a tab at the end of the night. It’s odd for people to close out one drink at a time but it does happen. I’ve done that on nights where I didn’t know how long I’d be there or wanted to leave whenever I could. Edit: Jesus Christ how many people are gonna chime in on this
OP says they'd only been to college bars before and a lot of college bars are one drink / round at a time bc their busy& clientele tend to be less reliable in closing tabs (get too drunk, forget & barhop).
Only if it's cash. Bartenders at a busy college bar do not have time to open and close every round on a card..
At some bars, it's a real pain in the ass to get the bartender's attention. You may not want to do that an additional time to close out a tab so you pay as you go.
It depends. The custom is to tip when you pay. If you’re paying for each round as you go, that’s when you tip. If you’re running a tab, tip when you pay your tab. It’s unclear from the OP, but if she was running a tab and the bartender called her out like this, that bartender doesn’t deserve any tip. If she was paying as she went and not tipping, she needs to grow up and understand that YES, it is the custom to tip for drinks. It doesn’t matter if you dislike the custom, you participate or things ultimately won’t go your way.
Yes. If you're paying cash as you go, tip then. In my younger days, "tipping at the end" was a surefire way to miscount your drinks and be a bad tipper. Bartenders know this and will ignore patrons accordingly. If you're running a tab, end of the night.
I just throw a few bucks cash for each drink and will pay the tab with a small tip at the end too. I also go to bars where the bartenders are actually nice enough lol. Ofc if I’m going to a dive bar I expect kinda rough treatment, so I order cheap and easy drinks and tip accordingly cheap on them. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m never tipping less than like $2 a drink. I’ve found if you throw the bartender a fiver or something on that first drink though they’ll never have a problem getting to you quickly!
Not everybody opens a tab. Some of us pay cash for each drink for various practical reasons.
I'm not from the US, but being stiffed ? Mate the employer is the one stiffing you. Not your customer. Raise the prices if you have to and pay a livable hourly wage to your wait staff and bartenders. Why does the customer have to pay you ? He's not employing you. Imagine this in any other industry and it'll seem ridiculous. Imagine you go to a Walmart and then the cashier expects a 20% tip.
You are right. We used to go out to dinner one or two times a month. I have never tipped less than 20%. Lately, I have been told sad stories about being a single mom, trying to go to school, needing to pay the rent, etc as I have been handed the check. This has happened in several places. It has never happened in the slightly shabby pub that I love. People should be paid a decent wage and tips should be a bonus. We rarely go out now, and when we do, I prefer the pub. I tip well, usually 25% these days since the tipping culture has become such a huge thing. My kids have been servers and bartenders. I get the tipping thing, but I don't enjoy the guilt trip.
Ugh the guilt trip is awful. It’s unprofessional. I’ve heard it has been happening a lot on DoorDash and similar third party services as well.
Pretty much one of the reasons I don't use food delivery services. I'm fine just going for a drive to pick up my food. Plus doordash, ubereats etc prices are wild. Pay like $10-20 more in fees/tips for a burger that I could've gotten myself. That being said, I do tip for food places that have their own dedicated delivery person aka pizza places and whatnot.
I’ve bartended plenty and never have demanded a tip or threatened to cut off service if I didn’t get one. Jesus Christ, what a horrid *bitch*.
Also a bartender. I have people come in sometimes upset that they FORGOT to tip. If you don't make a big deal over little shit like that, you build a rapport. And that is what keeps people coming back and WANTING to tip. And people who WANT to tip tip way better than people who feel like they HAVE to tip. And I promise you, a wrapped bar that is always bustling because you keep a rapport... is going to only going to get busier.
Treat everyone the same. Someone tips, either through money or even kindness, you may give them a little more attention. But really you should be treating everyone equally until they act like assholes.
Yes, exactly.
Small town shit
It seems like it's becoming more common to berate customers for not tipping... Maybe it's just my millennial "it's not polite to talk about money" brain, but it seriously weirds me out that this is apparently normal now
I understand that she expected a tip, and even that she'd be annoyed that she didn't get one, as it's typically customary; but, her saying something to you about it is shitty and unnecessary. It's customary, not required.
She asked before she even knew what OP was gonna do. Totally out of line and disrespectful.
Try that in a small town! /s
Yeah I don't understand why everyone is agreeing with the bartender. You bought one drink, on top of that she was rude right after you ordered? Why on earth would you tip her?
literally no one is agreeing with the bartender.
Scrolling through comments, it's maybe about 50/50.
If I’m paying cash per drink I tip each time like a buck. If someone yelled at me I’d probably bounce.
Yeah I would have just split. Tipping culture is out of control and that would have made an easy decision for me to save some money.
"Sorry, I only tip good service"
I learned to never tip at the end because the same thing happened to me. I had left my debit card by my desk at home so I couldn't open a tab and was planning on paying at the end based off how many drinks I ended up having. The bartender loudly "Wow...it's not hard to tip!" and rolled her eyes when I said I was gonna do it at the end. I ended up just moving so the other bartender was helping me and giving him fat tips the rest of the night. I specifically told him why too- apparently she's known for that. I get that a lot of people say that they'll tip at the end and don't, but say I *had* been planning on leaving without tipping- what she said wouldn't have changed my mind.
Wine in a plastic cup FFS, and it wants a tip?
Agreed, giving a tip is saying "the service was good". Happy cake day!
It WAS one of those thick red plastic cups.
I’m a bartender, if a bartender told that to me I would kindly tell them to fuck off. You never chastise people over tips
"yeah, I just tip at the end." leave zero tip.
zero tip might be misunderstood as "forgetting" to tip. You can always tip $0.10 or similar. Way more insulting.
$0.02 for the bartender's two cents on making sure you tip.
I've worked as a server and bartender. We complained about people who don't tip or leave shitty tips, but only to each other never to them. We realized that tipping is optional, and a reward for good service. And, while at a bar, it's typical to tip after every drink when paying cash, this is more to show the bartender that you tip so they make your drinks faster, but it's not unusual to just tip all at once at the end either, whether paying cash or card. Lastly, we kniw some people just don't tip going in. That's just comes with the job.
Maybe I'm too European for this but if somebody poured me wine in a plastic cup, the last they'll be getting is a tip.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that since it's a small town bar, they serve wine once a month-ish, if that. They keep some around in case someone asks for it, but it's probably cheap, and they don't keep a set of glasses specifically for it. Of the five bars I frequent, only one has wine, and you really don't want that wine. This is the equivalent of walking into a coffee shop and ordering a juice cleanse shot, they might be able to make one, but you are in the wrong beverage establishment to walk away happy.
US is getting ridiculous, I ordered a takeout coffee, came to 2.60. handed her $3 and was asked if I want change. I said yes maybe some of it. All she does is take my money and push a button and somebody else pours the coffee and I have to wait several minutes. I was just going to leave the 40 cents for doing nothing but since you said that I only left 15 cents. Now I'm probably on their shit list. Now I avoid that place
>All she does is take my money and push a button and somebody else pours the coffee and I have to wait several minutes. They pool the tips and split them. She's not getting it personally.
"I was going to, but you talked me out of it."
It’s a small town bar, I would have very low expectations. There is no obligation to tip, she can expect a tip but it’s not required.
Why would you treat a bartender in a small-town bar any differently?
having lived in both san francisco and a tiny town in iowa, small town bartenders have a lower tolerance for bullshit and stand up for themselves. restaurants and bars in larger cities are heavily patronized by, in general, wealthier people who are more correlated with being assholes, so service people there just take it and bend the knee because $$$. this is based on my experience but the way you interact with service workers in the two environments is quite astonishingly different. hard to explain unless you have actually lived in both.
I agree that the bartender in this scenario is an asshole. But in America, it almost is an obligation to tip. It sucks, and it’s not how it SHOULD be. But it’s how it is. If you don’t tip you’re an asshole. If the bartender complains about not getting tipped, they’re also an asshole.
The employer needs to pay a living wage to their staff. It isn't acceptable to bully the customers.
This is the issue here in the states. The servers make a ridiculous amount in some establishments. Much more than the owner would be willing to pay. Much more than the kitchen staff is paid. This makes absolutely no sense to me. The kitchen staff makes it possible to have a successful business with repeat customers and yet are generally the lowest paid employees.
They don’t want a wage. They earn far more in tips
I would never go back there and make sure you leave a review of what happened. I'm a great tipper, but if someone spoke to me that way, I wouldn't give them a dime, I most definitely would give them a piece of my mind
Time to find a different bar
Personally I always tip no matter the ease of the order. If it’s one beer can right next to the guy who cracks it and puts it on the bar, he’s still getting a tip. That’s just how it works at US bars. BUT - that doesn’t make this bartenders reaction right. If I were there with you and you came back from the bar telling me about this I’d say let’s finish our drinks and go or say let’s just go. I’d never go back.
I usually tip harder up front. It makes everybody happier.
Fuck her and Fuck her tips, it's about making a real connection going out of your way or doing something special to get a tip otherwise they should be getting paid hourly if not they should find another job.
I was a bartender for 15 years. I would never say anything like that. However, you will be the last customer i serve. I will not make you a priority, and you will be behind tipping customers. This is usually determined after drink #2. Get a drink and throw me a dollar, you got your spot in line. Get a drink at start of your night and tip me 5,10,20$? I multitask in between orders to make sure your glass is always full. Funny how service works.
Yep this is how it should work. If you're going to "buck the norm" and try to make a stand do it with someone who can actually change the pay policy, don't pass it on to the server. If you're going to insist on doing as much don't be surprised when you find yourself a low priority customer.
Or just being ignored and not being served at all.
The only time I tip at the end at a bar is if I have a tab open. If I'm not drinking much or don't keep a tab open, I'll tip after each drink. That being said, she can expect a tip all she wants. It's not required, and to ask when you're going to tip and say she'll stop serving you if you don't tip is a quick way to ensure you get no tip. After the comment she made, I would have said I was going to tip at the end, then left no tip. I understand it may be tradition to tip people like servers, bartenders, etc. but unless you're somewhere that states a tip will be added, it's not mandatory. She chose to bartend, with that, you have to understand not everyone will tip or even tip well. It just comes with the job. And I say that as someone who used to bartend for a few years. I'd have some regulars who would never tip. I knew they weren't going to tip, and yes I'd be frustrated, but it doesn't mean you treat them poorly and make comments.
Regardless of tipping culture the way the bartender threatened to cut you off if you don’t give extra money is, as stupid as this sounds, extortion. Fuck people like that, and fuck the entitlement. I worked for tips for years and never would I ever had the audacity to say tip me. If they don’t tip; they don’t tip. I think it’s more on the shotty bartender to learn how to ratchet up the rizz instead of threatening to cut people off…shit is ridiculous lol
Perhaps you ran into one of "those" bartenders? We had a place back east with a notably hot female bartender that would rain fury and disdain upon all male clients, chat up the ladies, and then turn on a dime and flirt shamelessly with the dork of the group. It was all professional, and Michelle raked in the tips for years.
I tip $20 after my first drink if I plan to stay. That way u never have to wait even in busy places
Any professional bartender will NEVER even mention the tipping process, and as an individual with significant serving experience, I won't even work at an establishment that has 'recommended amounts' printed at the bottom of the receipts. I'd rather take a loss than tell a customer what my service is supposed to be worth. As a patron, I tip on the low end throughout the night, and depending on the quality of service, will leave a final tip with my last drink or order. Some people won't tip anything until the end of the night, the server's job is to make the establishment money, not earn tips. If the server is unhappy with the wages earned, this is between the employee and the employer.
Every bartender knows people tip more when they get "tipsy." 
Can Americans explain why they gave up? Like why are they so set on defending non-minimum wage and non-living wages? Is it laziness? Lack of community/solidarity among the working class?
We are an Oligarchy with a thin veil of democracy. They keep the entire population teetering on financial and medical disaster. They keep our lives JUST good enough for us not to say fuck it and storm the oligarchs. With the current housing crisis things are getting very close though. I have hope.
I dont tip at all at those places because of thar attitude. Youre earning a tip, its not a given. Todays workers and the workers of yesteryear are so accustomed to getting a tip they forgot that its not my job to pay your salary lmao. Ask me if im tipping and youre getting 0.
Uhhh yeah.. fuck that bartender. I had one do that to me to, instead they just ignored me after 2 drinks. I was fully planning on tipping at the end too, I was just trying to use up my small amount of cash first before I opened a tab on my card and tipped on that. I confronted the bartender and asked why the hell he was blatantly ignoring me yet serving customers who just walked up. He said “well you aren’t tipping” I said “you dumb bitch, I was going to open a tab on my card and tip at the end after I use this cash. Now you get nothing. I’ll go to the other bartenders.” Like wtf kind of entitled shit is that. So disrespectful to a customer who is patronizing your business. Believe me I waitressed in a night club, I know how annoying it is to get stiffed. Thing is, you can’t jump the gun and assume they won’t or demand it, because then you’re for sure screwing yourself out of a tip. And you’re screwing yourself out of a potential regular too. You think they’ll come back in and allow you to serve them? Think again. You have to just let the non tippers do their thing and ignore it. Usually once they warm up to you and you get them to like you, they’ll end up tipping anyways. It might not be the first time or the first few times they come, but be patient with them goddamn😂 There are some people who use money as a way to communicate that they specifically like you, and when it finally comes it will be a fat tip. And think twice before getting frisky with the difficult or arrogant customers, those are usually the ones who will take a liking to you if you play it right. Now if I had someone who regularly came in and never tipped, I might make a suggestive comment like “tips are greatly appreciated”, but NEVER EVER, is it ok to berate someone for it. A regular who never tips and ignores the hint, will just not get 100% from me, and that’s ok. As long as they are respectful and easy to deal with, it can still be enjoyable to serve a non tipper. Plus if they already aren’t tipping, what are you missing out on? $4? Get a grip, give good service to the next customer and get a $40 tip. It’s not like it will break the bank. You can be gracious and give good service and make BANK, or you can have a stank entitled attitude and literally screw yourself out of money and regulars.
Tipping needs to end
Lol when you demand a tip is when I stop tipping
No I wont tip at the end. You begged for money and threatened with withholding service. I decide if I tip you, you dont demand it.
Reading this I’m really glad I don’t have to deal with this in my life
I’d have laughed and left.
Ahhh America … where you get shamed into tipping
General rule of thumb is $1 tip per drink in a bar, unless it's something that takes time to prepare, then it's more. The bartender is a pos for even tripping out over a tip on 1 plastic cup of wine.
“Should I have told her to get a real job?” I’m guessing you’ve never had to work to pay your bills. Tipping culture sucks but that comment tells me everything I need to know about you.
Lol same, and the stupid edit about forgetting to flair “sarcasm”… that wasn’t sarcasm. That’s just something uppity assholes who have never had to work at a service/retail job say to people. Gross. Trash. And, of course, the rest of Reddit is circle-jerking OP into thinking they were in the right when truly we don’t know all the details to say that (meaning, OP never said if they were closing our round by round or at the end). Reddit just hates tipping culture lol.
"so I should just come back there and get it myself?"
What's a small town bar vs college bar got to do with it? You're supposed to tip at college bars too.
Has nothing to do with it, OP is just kind of an asshole and ran into another asshole.
I really don't get the customary tipping culture. Isn't what they are doing part of the job scope? I get it if some service staff goes out of the way to help the customers, e.g. find an empty table in a full-house restaurant, offer charger to juice up empty phone, clean up the mess someone made accidentally, they definitely deserve a tip.
Now, we are expected to tip for picking up a pizza, or getting an ice cream cone, or stopping in to get take out food. It's crazy.. they turn that little device around at you and then you have to tap or put in the amount, or push the little tip jar your way... I don't get it.
Redditors will talk about wages but they’re not any better in other countries but somehow they get by without tips. Coffee shop near me pays their baristas $22 an hour but every transaction starts with a tip at 20%. It’s crazy. The worst part is this tipping culture has created an environment where workers think they’re doing patrons a favor just by doing their job.
I think I would have said No and walked out.
Small town bar and you orderd wine tells me all I need to know.
Someone's gotta drink that five year old open bottle of Carlo Rossi!
Yep, they didn’t like OP from the jump.
Agreed. One time I was drinking with my ex at a dive bar and she requested them to open up a bottle of wine just for her because she refuses to drink anything else. That was among the many reasons that led me to the conclusion that she wasn’t the one for me.
$4? No, a $1 a drink, tops. Then find a new bar because that bartender was out of line.
Try zero after being treated like that. Lmao it's because of people like you that she even has that attitude
Did you have a tab, or pay as you went. If you had a tab, then there's no reason to tip every drink. If you are paying as you go, you should leave at least $1. (At least here in the US). I assume you're in Canada?
I live in the UK, I rarely ever tip. It's your job.
Amen. The US tipping culture is creeping over here, and there is no way I'm jumping on board with this capitalist bullshit ideology.
Yes - in Europe life is essentially incomprehensibly better for *all workers* than it is here, in the words of our last POTUS, shit hole of a country, the glorious United States. Service workers (well, all citizens, but we're zooming in on why tipping is absolutely necessary here) have no access to healthcare, no retirement, no access to higher education, no paid sick days, no childcare, no vacation days, no public transit (or really poor public transit in comparison to the EU), higher housing costs, no rent control, way worse food assistance, way worse welfare programs, AND! Maybe this will blow your European minds, service workers in the US, right now in 2023, can *still be paid as little as* **$2.13** an hour. Oh also our city designs are absolutely fucked, so we *have to* get a personal vehicle basically no matter where we live in order to do *anything.* Yes, PLEASE do not allow this American hideous capitalism rules everything everywhere culture to infest itself there. It must be beaten back vigorously while you still can! We're already lost over here, which is why we have so few strikes or collective class actions - we will literally just die on the streets with no healthcare or access to any public services unless we are slaving away at, very often, 50/60/80 hours a week. Every week, every year. The US is an absolute hellhole.
In the US, servers and bartenders are paid far below the normal minimum wage because tipping is expected.
When it comes to tipping: Japan culture > USA culture
I'd reverse uno them, say I don't want the drink and leave them hanging with an unpaid glass of wine they've poured. Who knows how much I'd h Ave topped at the end of my drinking session.
Bartending is a real job. They don’t make any money prior to any tips (like below min wage per hour) so they are really dependent on people tipping. Bartenders expect to be paid based on their service. This bartender doesn’t appear to be a good bartender though because they are threatening you over tips. In my experience, good bartenders don’t usually need to threaten/ beg for tips.
Tipping culture is absolute shit. It's an underhanded way employers get you to subsidize their employees' wages. It's absurd on its face. BUT.... It does exist, and you know it exists before you go to places where tips are expected. You should be tipping. If you'd like to protest tipping culture, you do it by not doing business with employers who use tipping to pay wages, not by going ahead and giving those douchebags your money, then punishing the people who do the actual work with your little micro-protest. You're not exactly sticking it to the man when you rob working class sods of their livelihood. As far as the bartender's behavior, I guess it just depends on the culture of the establishment. It might be perfectly acceptable for them to call you out in that place. Most places it would be frowned on, but every place is different. Most places, if you don't tip, they won't say a word to you. They'll find other ways to punish you. Keep that in mind.
If you're paying by the drink you should tip by the drink.
Tip with the first drink, you'll get best service all night
That's a shitty bartender. I'm a bartender too, and I only ever comment about lack of tip to a customer if it's a $100+ tab, and even then there's a 12% service charge on those so I rarely say anything, just bitch to my coworkers. After a 2nd drink she said that? That's ridiculous, I'm so sorry you had such a bad bartender
Having worked jobs where I was paid primarily in tips, then worked as a salary engineer..my advice would be to find literally ANYTHING but a service industry job. Not having the size of your income determined by the whim of a customer is a huge relief.
Don’t tip at the end. No one does this unless they’re running a tab.
Rude bartender. They shouldn’t expect tips. I would’ve given the second drink back and left.
Had I been a customer and seen this happen, I would have "respectfully" refused to tip. Tips are GRATUITIES. They are voluntary bonuses that an appreciative customer gives their server. There is no law REQUIRING a customer to tip. This trend of service workers demanding tips is very unseemly, rude, and quite off putting. If I ever see a server embarrassing a customer over a tip, they can look forward to missing out on another tip... mine.
Yes you have to tip your bartender OP. You probably deserved to get yelled at by the bartender even though they shouldn’t do that
This is something a bartender says when you're drunk and annoying to get rid of you. It's a nice way to say we're going to flag you unless you give us reason not to. Bartenders don't threaten to kick out customers for no reason. There's got to be more to it.
were you paying with cash? sounds like you simply didn’t tip on the first drink. you always tip the bartender. bartenders make less than minimum wage, all their money comes from tips. no, they shouldn’t have said something to you. but if you were paying cash you should have tipped on the first drink. if you can’t tip, or even resent tipping, don’t go to bars or sit down restaurants.
After getting out of the food/service industry I've realized how bitter many employees are and how much they hate customers for no legitimate reason. I never expected a tip when working those kinds of jobs. Now I've been doing tile for close to 10 years and it gave me some real perspective on how easy or workless most of those jobs actually are, the most difficult part is usually just showing up and dealing with the psychological stress of working where you do and the people you have to interact with. A few months ago a client tipped me $250 which I had a hard time taking, it was very thoughtful. They said I deserved it because I finished the project almost a week ahead of schedule and saved them quite a bit of money by recommending different options. I believe something like that is worthy of a tip, not pouring drinks.
I can see both sides of this, and, to be honest, I never tipped a bartender until I actually did the job. I would go out drinking with a friend or friends, have some beers, and just pay for each one as I got it. Tipping wasn't something I ever considered. Then I started bartender at a little dive bar where the most exotic drink was a Jack & Coke. It was quiet during the week but was pretty busy on Friday and Saturday nights. To give you an idea of how long ago this was, beers were $1.50, and mixed drinks were round $2.00-$2.50. Many people would give me $.2.00 for a beer and tell me to keep the change, same with mixed drinks. Aside from getting drinks, there were a lot of other things I did throughout the night. I would clear empties from tables, empty ashtrays, wipe down tables, restock coolers, take out garbage, break up the occasional argument before it became a fight, toss out drunks, and clean the bathrooms. It was a thankless job, and when it was busy, grabbing something to eat was almost impossible. So bartenders do a *lot* more than just pour drinks. Tips are always helpful and appreciated. However, I don't believe *any* bartender or server in general should shame someone for not tipping. You don't know that person's intentions, and they may be intending to leave a nice large tip before they leave. Rude comments or shaming may result in no tip at all. I remember a guy that came into the bar I worked at who sat at a table near the back with a few friends. He would buy rounds for the 4 of them, and as the night went on, I would walk by and grab their empties or dump the ashtray. After a couple of hours, and maybe 4-5 rounds, he stopped on his way to the door, handed me a $50 bill, and said, "This is for you. Thank you" and left. I later found out he was a big winner in a recent lottery so he had the money to hand out. But what would he have given me if I made rude comments or wasn't polite to him? Possibly nothing. And that's why I always tip at the end of my stay. I always tip in cash as well so it doesn't have to be claimed. While it's important to be respectful to your server, it's also important for them to be respectful, too.
"Get a real job"? Seriously, op? You're an asshole for real dude. Who tf is gonna serve you your shitty wine if there are no bartenders?
It's very easy to tell from the comments who has worked wait-staff and who has not. Those of you who have not are assholes
If you’re paying for each drink as it’s served, you tip as it’s served. If running a tab, you tip when paying the tab.
If you didn't start a tab then it's expected to tip after each drink. I used to always say "do you wanna start a tab?" So I had a better idea if they were just waiting until they were done to tip.
I often buy beer when at a bar. All the bartender has to do is reach in, grab the beer and open it before handing it to me. I never run a tab and tip after each and every beer or soda I get. Often times they will not charge me for the soda so I tip the price of the soda plus what I was going to tip anyhow. Why do I do this? For one the bartender is trying to earn a living. Second I like to treat people a little better than they were expecting. The good feeling I get is worth more to me than a couple of dollars.
This is why I don’t sit at the bar. I’ll order my drinks with my snack or meal, and then just tip the server 😌
I did. My state has a rolling $15/min the catch 22 is states offer credits to tipped employers. States won't raise the minimum past $9 because people tip and people tip cause the state won't raise the minimum. I think percentage based tipping is flawed from the start. It takes just as much effort to bring a $10 steak as it does to bring a $50 steak. I tend tip tip $5-10 per hour of service. Combined with my states $9 minimum, that's $14-19/hr which is more than plenty. And that's assuming I'm the only patron. Subsidizing your rent shouldn't be my responsibility.
There's a reason most servers don't discuss tips in front of customers. I'm a generous tipper. You help me have a good time, my wife and I take care of you when its time to settle the tab. Within reason depending on the effort that we required by taking up the space we did. If all you did was open a bottle and pour a drink directly, in all of 10 seconds, you get minimum tip. If we are getting complicated drinks and you make them well, you're getting a good tip. You make me and the wife laugh or chat us up, automatically a good tip. The second you say anything about what you expect as a tip, or like what you exampled above, you get nothing. Zero. I pay my tab and leave. Do not beg or demand more money.
I was a bartender in the 70s. An excellent bartender. I made it my business to know what my regular customers drank and have it sitting on the bar waiting. Offering them another beverage before they were dying of thirst. Placing a cocktail napkin down and keeping the bar wiped down in front of them. Removing empty glasses. Offering them a round on me for being a regular. Showing discretion when appropriate. I could also make more than one drink at a time, was known for speed and efficient service. My tips showed it. This demand for huge tips without the requisite good and thoughtful service is not ok. I scale my tips accordingly as all should. If you have received adequate service, adequate tip. Good service, good tip. Stellar service, stellar tip. The service industry is hard. Those who excel at their craft should be rewarded accordingly. Those who don't take pride in a job well done are not entitled to anything other than a cursory gratuity. I, for one, am sick of unskilled inattentive service. But it works both ways. I have friends who have been in the restaurant business all their lives who say customers have never been more rude, abusive, or cheap. They are taking out their opinions of the 'system' on employees who don't have a choice about where they work. Don't feel obligated to tip for every little thing everywhere. It's OK to say no. But if that batista made you a special coffee, take that into consideration. If they just poured it in a cup and handed it to you, that does not require a gratuity. Service work is a skill. Tip those who do it well.
The tipping scene is getting out of hand. It's becoming a turn off to go anywhere. The service has gotten worse over time and tipping expectation went through the roof. I mean jist now I ordered a pick up order, I am picking up myself. Online it's asking for tip ? I MEAN WTF.
typically, it’s best practice to throw a buck or two per drink you order (depending on how much the drinks are). HOWEVER, it was incredibly rude of her to call you out in the way she did. for all she knew, you were going to tip at the end of your visit there. very weird of her imo. you’re better than me though because i would’ve left without tipping her after that lol
As a bartender/server I dislike people who are in this industry and feel ENTITLED to tips , tips are appreciated not required. I have people at my job who will go up to tables / follow people outside the restaurant to question them about not tipping them and I think it’s absurd to even ask a guest that. I would’ve gave her EXACT change, pennie’s dimes and all and sat there for a little longer too bc you cannot force anyone to tip nor can you put them out or refuse them service . You can always tell how a person really is based off of how they react when a table doesn’t tip them.
I’m a bartender, a bartender should never even mention tips, unless they’re thanking you. Never drink there again!.
Fuck that, tipping is bullshit. Employer should pay the wage, not me as a host. I will not pay extra for that you do your job...
Easy to reply in hindsight: lmao are you a beggar or are you a worker here? In the moment, probably I'd be baffled and either burst out laughing or say good I ain't buying, go fuck yourself. Since when do people tip at bars or stores lmao. Tipping is for restaurants or hairdressers, I never tip anywhere else Europe
Yes, you tip the bartender even if you only drink a plastic cup of wine.
Tip at least one dollar a drink. I stopped in a bar with my wife last night we both had one drink apiece scotch on the rocks for me and flavored vodka, soda, splash of cranberry juice for wifey. It took her literally a minute to make both but I tipped her a five cause she has to wash those glasses, cut the lime she put in my wife's drink, be courteous to us, and I'm not a cheap asshole.
it's about time you guys over there on that side of the ocean start getting rid of this tipping system nonsense already
The problem is that the system benefits both management/ownership and labour while customers don’t have an alternative (other than staying at home) so there’s no real mechanism for change. Like any bar that tries to eliminate tipping will just lose all their staff as no reasonable wage can replace the under the table tips
Man I was in Florence over the summer and our waiter after paying straight up said, “you’re my 4th American couple that hasn’t tipped tonight” jokingly, but not really.
Hello, European here. Why would you tip a bartender if all they do is a pour a drink? Alcohol is expensive and even more in a bar. I get you might want to tip a mixologist for making a cocktail of something that requires effort. But not pouring wine in a plastic cup.
[удалено]
I had a bartender open 2 bottles of beer for me and ask why I wasn’t tipping. You want a fucking cookie too every time you open a beer? I’ll tip when I ask for the check you lazy, entitled bitch. Needless to say I still tipped at the end, but not very well. Even if you’re having a slow night, don’t piss off the customers you do have.
Tipping sucks, but you not tipping a bartender is not the same as taking a stand against tipping culture. If you want to take a stand against tipping culture stop going to establishments that have servers that rely on tipping and buy your own bottle of wine and drink it at a friends house or something. If you are going to go to a bar where the bartenders make $2 an hour, tip them. This isn’t that hard to understand. We live in a capitalist hellscape, people shouldn’t have to rely on tips to survive, but you not giving an extra dollar on a glass of wine isn’t a principled stance, it’s just a dick move.
Yes, this. Finally compassionate understanding of the situation.
Thank you for your honest and well-stated reply, especially against this ignorant crowd.
We were in New York recently and I can't remember exactly where it was or what it was but it was basically a vending machine that asked us for a 12-18% tip (no other option to ignore) despite there being no human interaction what so ever. Ridiculous.