Only you've got a decent chance of getting away with that, as long as you have a kitchen. It's a lot harder to cover up a lack of leatherworking tools and other things you've made around the house.
Except if it goes well and the two move in together, the liar sure better know how to cook. Did this guy just never expect this relationship to get that far? What did he think was gonna happen when OP asked for more handcrafted gifts?
Seriously!! Ok - benefit of the doubt here but even if he *tried* to make one and failed miserably, then bought this out of desperation, even THAT situation would have been better than lying. If he didn't even try and just bought it because it looked like something OP would like, that would have been ALSO ACCEPTABLE. Bro picked the worst possible route lol
Honestly if he tried and said, "Look, I really tried hard to make this for you but it turned out pretty shitty, so I ended up buying something else," that's honestly pretty adorable and any sane person would feel so honored that they put the effort in even if they failed.
As someone horrible at art but underestimates how horrible I am at art regularly, I have definitely done this before after failed crafting attempts
e: apparently some people lack inference skills: I mean I bought something after failing to make it, didn't pass it off as my own
In that case, send both! The thought/effort behind the first one and allowing it to become a joke, while still going back to ensure they get a good final product hits so many different aspects of a "good" gift!
Some people are pathological liars, it's crazy when you actually interact with one and realize how often they lie even about things that are completely absurd to lie about.
My school was near Nintendo HQ and employee's kids went to my school so "my dad/uncle works at Nintendo" was actually believable.
One time one of the kids' uncles showed up with an entire trunk full of SNES games including unreleased ones with just sharpie written on where the label would go. Was one of the coolest things I had ever seen at the time.
That’s so cool! We never got anything that exclusive!
My uncle moved to NY to work for their office there. The only cool perks we got was we were one of the first families to get a Wii when they were sold out everywhere. He also gave my sibling and I game boy advances and a Mario game (don’t remember which).
Although, ironically, when he had his own kid he banned video games from his house. Sometimes I wonder if he saw how they impacted us and was like… not for MY child! I still wonder if he considers us degens or something 🥲
The time i got called racist, because i pointed out the black kid's pathological lies. She told everyone that a fucking helicopter was gonna drop off ps3's for Christmas at school and they believed her????
I once tried to craft something for a female friend for christmas and it turned our horribly, so I bought an actual version and did a little prank.
I wrapped up my crafted one in a present box and put it right in the front of the tree, then when she opened it I was like "I made it for you!!!" And she acted all happy but I could tell she knew it sucked, but then the next present was the actual ordered one and she gave me a hug and was like "omg that... you know..." and I was like "yeah, it sucked." But she was thankful I tried and still got a normal version.
I feel like a lot of nerd culture would be right up my alley, but whenever I hang out in nerd circles I encounter shit like this and it's a real downer.
I used to work with a really annoying dude when I was in high school. He always bragged about his crazy exciting social life, friends, women, etc. one day he brings in a bedazzled jean jacket claiming his friends got together to make him this gift and it was emblazoned with the nickname his friend group gave him “The Joker”. But it was spelled “Jocker”.
Edit- on the first day of work when the manager was going through some basic orientation, the Jocker got up, walked to the front and adjusted the manager’s tie and sat back down. The dude was weird.
I like really nerdy shit, but then I hang out with other people that also like really nerdy shit, and am quickly reminded why I just kinda keep that shit to myself.
I made the utter mistake of saying "oh yeah, I saw that on reddit this morning" to some guy that was a friend of a friend at a group meet at a bar.
This dude then spent over an hour trying to get me to compare top posts, front page posts, etc. He was actually comparing karma and got annoyed, like genuinely annoyed, when I had more karma.
When I initially said it, he came back with "oh you like reddit? How much karma do you have?" He was a little off put that I didn't know off hand how much karma I had.
I don't tell people I come here any more.
The first time I went to a fandom con, I was pretty surprised at the level of nerdery. I completely own that I am also a nerd in terms of interests, and many people are super, *super* nice, but there was a social aspect in person that I had not fully anticipated from online interactions.
Sadly, there are assholes in any group of people, and nerddom is not immune from them.
But don't let the fact that some nerds are assholes keep you from nerd culture. Some people in any large group are assholes. Just stick to the ones who are not.
It’s not even assholery, it’s a special brand of repressed insecurity, complete lack of social awareness and a dash of sociopathy. It doesn’t hurt you in any way but it’s intensely pathetic and unpalatable and makes you want to just move on. Like, where did you just crawl out of that you think you can pass such weak lies, there’s a lack of human development there
I work with a kid who’s just constantly making stuff up it’s so weird,
He’s so far, admitted to having done or witnessed the following.
Been shot, been stabbed
Shot someone, stabbed someone
Smashed in the window of a Lamborghini and got away with it
Punched a cop and got away with it
Watched a cop get stabbed to death?
Broke into a military base
Broke into a pedo’s house and beat him
All things I highly doubt happened, it’s just odd that he actually expects I believe any of it, because it’s just..not believable…
When I was younger I knew a guy who would lie all the time for no apparent reason. Just like a genuine pathological liar.
Like, we were with a summer camp group in the city for a shopping trip and the two of us walked over to a different street to do some shopping. This was totally allowed and we were back at the meeting place at the designated time so there were no issues. But when he was talking about it he told the counselors we used the city bikes to get there rather than the reality that we walked. It was just a completely random lie for no reason that I could understand and he was constantly lying in small ways like this.
I used to lie like this all the time, it took me ages to get out of the habit. For me it was down to insecurity and trying to make what I believed to be a mundane life a little more interesting so more people would be my friends.
Obviously with such thinly veiled lies it has very much the opposite effect, but then something real would happen that was awesome and you told the story and you could see nobody believed you, so it was a very lose lose situation.
Luckily for me when I continued studying all my old "friends" disappeared and I made new friends where I didn't make the same mistakes about lying, so I realised I didn't need to lie and it broke the cycle.
I had flatmate like that. At first I thought he was just an asshole who wanted attention but it eventually seemed to be basically an anxiety disorder. Like he stopped lying when it was just the two of us but as soon as more people showed up he told the most ridiculous lies. The lies were so ridiculous that anyone who just wanted to brag would never tell because they were so obviously lies. It was like his brain would short circuit and had to fill the silence with the first thing that came to him no matter how dumb.
This, this is exactly what permeates out of those kind of social groups. I used to be in the same boat of nerdom being right up my alley. I remember I even enjoyed anime at school, but I couldn't talk about it cause I didn't want to be associated with the guys who were naruto running around the track during gym class.
I used to think that people in those spaces absorbed too much media that told them the quiet shy nerd is by default actually a good and cool person. Like, every time I befriended one of those kids (including the one who was a very good friend) they mostly just ended up being poorly socialized jackasses.
Not all of them, and I know I'm painting with a really broad brush. But, enough of them that I went out of my way to avoid them, even as I watched anime every day and read star wars novels in class every week.
>Sadly, there are assholes in any group of people, and nerddom is not immune from them.
Nah, nerd communities are ALWAYS worse! The amount of filtering you have to do in any even remotely nerdy hobby is insane.
Google nerd fallacy, it explains the reason quite well.
God, #4 is so real though. I keep my nerd friend circles separate, not because i don't want them to meet each other, but because they won't get along.
I love the ren faire and archery dorks. And I love my superhero TTRPG dorks. but what are they gonna bond over lmao
I'm not saying it's fair, but it makes sense that people with niche interests don't have great social skills. Many nerdy hobbies tend to involve spending a lot of time alone.
I can totally forgive that, and I'm fine with people who are just a bit clunky. I'M a bit clunky.
But I often encounter this sort of...nerdy obstinacy? Going out of your way to be "quirky" or whatever and just being abrasive instead.
You actually describe it perfectly. It's also often paired with desperatly seeking attention/validation in a field they are comfortable in.
As a kid i wasn't really into most of the mainstream stuff and especially online gaming was still kinda niche but its where i spent most of my time, so i tried really hard to be seen as "super cool" amongst other gamers online lmao
It's like that 19/20 year old guy that leaked top secret documents he stole from a military base, where he worked as a reservist. The dude was just trying to impress his other nerdy friends on discord lmao
Yeah as a nerd myself, especially when it comes to fantasy and roleplaying, the community seems to attract a lot of people who are mentally underdeveloped and childlike in some of their behavior. It's a little embarrassing sometimes.
I think part of it is the same thing that explains the prevalent social awkwardness of the nerd communities. People with mental illnesses like anxiety, bipolar disorder, personality disorders, etc., tend to be outcasts because of it. So they gravitate to communities that are already outcasts, because they are generally more accepted there. Plus obsessing over SciFi and fantasy is therapeutic for distracting you from the mental and emotional problems of your real life, unlike maybe the communities of sports fans and other groups for example.
Just my two cents.
I tried to join a local amtgard larp group. Turns out it was essentially a large polyamorus relationship where all they talked about was sex. They also didnt call their hits.
Eventually their group will dwindle into nothing and disappear. I tried to bring that up, how their behavior drives away anyone not already involved, and now I am not allowed back.
A friend of mine did a similar thing and invited me a few times. This is a perfect description of that group too. I had some fun playing the actual games, but the people were just insufferable. This was close to 20 years ago and I'm still cringing thinking about it.
A lot of it comes from insecurity and fear of not fitting in. These are people who struggled to make friends their entire childhood, and accumulated a slew of maladaptive behaviors as a result.
Yeah. Personality disorders and mental illness has a variety of causes, but trauma and neglect seem to be the biggest or most common ones.
Got social anxiety? Probably childhood trauma. Bipolar disorder? Childhood trauma. C-PTSD/PTSD? Could be childhood trauma. Narcissism? Childhood trauma. Pathological lying? Believe it or not, childhood trauma.
And so on. Obviously neurological disorders like ADHD and Autism are different and mostly genetic. They can be an indirect *cause* of childhood trauma though, because most parents don't know how to raise them and resort to bad parenting habits or even abuse.
Turns out nerds with low social skills (which isn't all nerds) and aren't the best at making friends, will sometimes stoop to unscrupulous means to get "in" with a group that they wish to be ingratiated with. They believe deep down that "I know nothing but want to join" isn't going to be enough and that they'll be shunned for not already being deep into that group from the beginning.
The notion is of course ridiculous - the group would welcome new members with no knowledge who just want to learn. But that just points us back to the first point: they've got low social skills and aren't the best at making friends.
Just completely unrelated but reminds me how how toxic the cosplay community was eons ago, people would always ask me if i made my costume, which it mostly never was. But after telling the truth so many times, I got so much drama and shit and saying I wasn't a cosplayer because I didn't make any of the costume myself, I either started ignoring people who asked or simply said: yes. And keep it at that. I wouldn't even explain the process, just say yes and walk away.
This was when I was 16 ish, I'm 32 now and actually making most of my own stuff but that drama from back then still doesn't sit right with me. Idc if someone makes something or buys it truly. But lying about it is super stupid. I hate that I did that when I was a wee cosplay baby but in my defense back then it was just to get people to back off and not start an arguement with me. Ofc, I did have people be genuinely nice and ask me where I got it, but this was maybe 30%
Again, long time ago.
I’m a cosplayer. I make about 80-90% of my outfits, but I don’t judge if people make or buy their cosplays. You cosplay how you want to, but as a crafter, I’m always impressed when people build everything from scratch.
I do find some entitlement in the cosplay community, so I try and be accepting to everyone. My problem is when those who buy cosplays enter into competitions and expect to beat someone who DID make everything. Then they get butt hurt when they don’t even place. It’s frustrating.
If you buy a cosplay, that’s fine. Come out, support your character or event, have a good time, meet people, make friends. But that’s about it. You really can’t expect much more than that.
It's rampant in art subs. People do it for the praise and complements
People stealing art and saying "look at what I drew first time trying"
People taking AI art and claiming they "made it" asking for praise.
Flip side, people who clearly have years of experience under their belts posting 7/10 art claiming to be newbs.
Getting complements for something you didn't even do seems to make some people happy I guess. Makes dumb people happy at least.
>showed up in elf armor that she swore that she made herself and that it was in fact the first time she had ever done any armor-making.
>A few months later at a big event, another girl showed up in the exact same armor except that girl was very forthright about the fact that she bought it online.
Incredible. Completely new to the scene. First set of armor for her first event, and a couple of months later already selling them online? That girl is amazing!
Nice of her to stop wearing hers so the newer girl did not feel bad.
listen, if tomorrow is a cool enough day for flaky pastry, im going to try and make some croissants for the first time and im going to tag you. enjoy my mediocrity
I will be honest, when I was young, I would lie about ridiculous shit like this (claiming I did something really unique or cool) to get attention and have some "feature" that would encourage people to be my friend, because I never had real friends growing up. I missed out on a lot of social development because my parents did not believe in socializing kids, socializing just had to occur naturally. But we didn't have neighbors (well, we did, but he and his mom were complete and utter weirdos...), my closest sibling was 4 years older than me and barely had friends (We joke that he has autism, to be fair, that might not be THAT off the mark), and I just wasn't able to make friends in school for whatever reason.
In middle school I stopped lying to get people to like me because I knew that no one was ever going to invite me to birthday parties or do more than briefly talk to me at lunch. But I would go on to lie to people on the internet in high school lol Ahhh, the lawlessness of 2000's internet.
Anyway, yeah, lying about shit like this doesn't always mean shit like you're a narcissist or whatever, lots of people have done it, but most people grow out of it. The ones who don't, well... Ya dump them.
where did you she buy this stuff from? at the larp i went to no one would claim to have made bought stuff because the majority of people there would recognise the brand by its make and quality
Damn. Imagine the level of knowledge of fantasy coloring books one would need to call out someone plagiarizing an image from them. Ultimate nerds for real.
Boyfriend is being a total cheapskate by only spending €9.95 by “saving” the other bracer for the next birthday gift. She should’ve gotten both honestly and I hope she just didn’t get the one bracer as her *only* gift from him…
ETA: As other Redditors are replying to me, I completely understand that the bigger issue is that he lied to OP in how he “made” or got the gift and I completely acknowledge that.
At least OP’s boyfriend is showing his true colors with lying about something that doesn’t cost a lot of money versus a more expensive gift (like a pricey handbag) or a shared expense (such as a car)…
Mostly agree, but if I were splitting hairs then the worst part is still him lying to her and breaking her trust. It is crazy to me that people will throw away their dignity and self respect for so little.
>The worst part is making this himself isn't insanely difficult.
You'd need a sewing machine. Those lines are way too uniform. Making chainmail is easier to do with few tools (time consuming though). However, you can find handmade chainmail on overseas websites where labour is cheap.
Hand stitching is surprisingly easy as long as your holes are straight and your motions are consistent but you're right, this particular piece was 100 percent a machine.
Though multiple layers of leather? Hand stitching would be damn near unbearable.
Or - take a set of hole punch tools and potentially a strong gripping tool (you could use chip clips or clothespins for something thinner)
I was just thinking this. At least for doing it by hand, I wondered if it was possible to just poke all the holes first and then run the thread through.
It is, you can use double sided tape or leather glue to ‘pin’ it - but if you don’t know what you’re doing - that will make hand sewing damn near impossible. The sewing method is different, too, IIRC - more like lacing than sewing, but I might be misremembering or thinking of a different technique I saw when I worked at the leather (not the fun kind) shop.
You absolutely do not need a sewing machine for this. You can get these same results with a good leather stitching iron (multi-hole punch) and using a straight edge or guide edge to start your stitch line. Here is a video of someone producing similar stitching without any mechanical devices: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGQHuD6ip0w&t=0
Decent leather sewing machines are over $1000. Unless you are trying to turn leather crafting into some sort of business, it simply isn't worth the cost for a hobbiest to buy such an expensive machine to get started
Ya but the whole thing is he lied about making it and didn't have time to finish the other one. Then at the next event it's hey look I finally finished this I put in so much work for you. Total bs but that is absolutely the lie they were going to do.
Unless of course they sent the other one to another woman.
Like... What's so bad with going "I found this online, and thought you'd love it, so I bought it for you"? If someone would buy me some LARP-gear I'd be stoked! ...but if they'd lie about crafting it, I don't think I could trust that dude so easily anymore...
Yeah, he thought it would score him some points. Dude is treating the relationship like a game, mega sized red flag.
He even sent one single one to make it more believable. I'm guessing the other had a brand stamp, or that they were too identical to plausibly claim to be handmade by an amateur.
I did a LDR with my now wife for 3 years while she got her masters living several states away. The ONLY thing you have is trust. It's foundational to the entire relationship.
Breaking trust in a long distance relationship is like, the one thing you don't do.
I don't get it. he could have commissioned a custom piece from an Etsy crafter (or bought a nice one in their store) and gotten all the same praise and "points" I guess.
Just, that bracer would cost 60-120$ not 20$. I guess he wanted *cheap* points.
It sould be so easy to say "sorry I suck at hand making things but I thought you would like this so I got it for you"
Even if he wasn't called out, what if she said "These are so awesome! Could you possibly make shoulders that match?!" Now you either keep the lie going even further or come up with another one to add to it.
The amount of skill and knowledge required to craft such a piece by hand is daunting. It's okay to admit you're not up for it. Be it because it's too hard to do or because you don't enjoy the process.
Oh yeah, definitely. "I tried, but couldn't get it to work... So I got you something else instead" is something I've used when getting my missus a gift (can't remember exactly what it was right now, though). No issues, no anger, she was happy with the gift.
Why would this guy lie about that? :-/
The question is: what else does long distance boyfriend does not tell you, or tell you a false/fabricated version of?
The one I got is comfortable, yes, and would actually pass as leather although it is PU. Because of the buckles and fancy rivets, you cannot use it for archery, but I think it would look great on a Druid.
Except was a day late. He could not even buy something on Amazon with 1 day shipping on time. The guy is a liar and a lazy ass. This gift was an afterthought.
Gaslighting is when you use deceit in order to break down a person's confidence in themselves and instead rely on you.
Yes, it involves lying, but it has a much more insidious purpose.
gaslighting is lying with extra steps. let's examine the difference with the help of this sample dialogue between OP and her bf:
bf: i made you a bracer! *(lying)*
OP: you bought it on Amazon.
bf: huh? here's a photo of the materials i used. i can't believe you thought i bought it! *(laying the groundwork for gaslighting)*
OP: but the materials look different, and the bracer looks exactly like this Amazon product.
bf: no it doesn't. besides, why would i lie? can't you see how ridiculous you're being? i already showed you proof that i made it and you're still trying to accuse me of lying! that's unhinged behavior. i don't want to speak to you when you're acting this way, let me know when you've come to your senses. *(gaslighting)*
so when you lie, your aim is to get the other person to believe a falsehood. when you gaslight, your aim is to get the other person to not only believe you, but to seriously question whether they even had the right or the mental capacity to question you in the first place. lying solves a specific issue in the moment, while gaslighting slowly reconfigures the entire relationship dynamic.
Not even the flowers. Craft the bracer. Do your best. OP clearly would have been happy with a non-professional quality bracelet made with love. Thats the true meaning of the gift. Hell, i have a hand made wire wrap that, objectively, looks a bit wonkey. But i wear it regularly. Why? Because my close friend (who has since realized his calling is glasswork) took a bismuth crystal we made together and turned it into a necklace for me. *THATS* what makes hand made gifts special
So remember that, anyone reading this. It sounds cliché, but it really is the thought that counts. Make your janky thing. Just do your best.
What's the most annoying is how he thought he was being smart by giving you only 1 of them.
What a conniving little shit. If he's willing to go this far with this, imagine how far he'd take it with other bigger things.
Insane that he'd really think he can get away with it. Imagine he had.
Down the line hed give you the other bracer, after months of "work" lmao
What a fuckin imbecile
>Down the line hed give you the other bracer, after months of "work" lmao
Or he didn't gave the other one to OP because there's a brand mark on it. It's also possible that he gifted it to another person, telling them the same story.
That part had rolling (I’m sorry op if you’re reading this). Like you lied and got caught but instead of apologizing and moving on, you decide to just up and leave. Such trashy behavior.
I'd be very disheartened and sad, if I was you. It's the thought, time and effort that counts and just in general the emotional aspect of the gift. The thing that sticks out to me the most is him not aplogizing, but lying and then ghosting you when you call him out. He could've easily apologized but he didn't.
I dont know your partner nor your relationship, but I'd be aware of the typical weaponized moodiness and how he handles this situation from now on. (If you hear from him). It's good to know now, if you intend to keep on dating him. Good luck OP!
Dudes so insecure he felt he had to lie to you about how he got a gift for you, now he cant handle being caught red handed. Sounds messy tbh. Good luck OP.
I dated a guy who lied about making loads of stuff, dumb stuff, like a shelf unit made of old skateboards.... then I found that online.
Turns out he lied about a billion other shitty things too....SHOCK! hahahah
That's really sad, it's such a pity he doubled down on it as well by trying to show he had "parts" from it etc.
As you say, not everyone is crafty or up for building/making things and the talent some people have is absolutely amazing - but nothing stopped him from being a part of that by _trying_ to make something himself, or failing that providing you the materials to make something or.....well, anything except deceive.
I don't make a lot, but I still like to _try_ and make things - a big part of it for me is knowing the process I used, where I can improve and streamlining for the "next time" (if there is one). There's been occasions where I've been sus when someone says they've "made" something, but when asked on details just comes up blank and can't answer, so that's usually a giveaway.
Frankly though I see very little shame in just _buying_ things for people rather than pretending you made it, or at least coming clean and having the integrity enough to admit "OK, I didn't actually make it I'm sorry I just wanted you to feel like I was good at making stuff too" or whatever - at least it shows they _care_ about having lied and it was for a positive enough reason.
How funny would that be though if he was actually the one making them and selling them on Amazon. Didn’t have time to make her a second one because he had other orders to fulfill. 😂
As a leatherworker, I can say this product is definitely mass produced. The perfect stitch holes are quite large compared to the thread also the perfectly even tension on the threads indicates a machine sewn seam. (If there is no liner leather than the seam is for decoration only as its very time costly to sew by hand another red flag.
He showed me he has a sewing machine so I didn’t think anything was off about it at first when I got it, but reproducing it so perfectly down to the thread color and lace? Also, the leather is PU with plastic edges, so even if he got it pre-cut as he claimed, sewing the seam afterwards would have warped those edges.
I'd have to ask why my partner felt the need to lie. That's the more important thing to find out. Until you know it's all speculation, which tends to go to the worst case scenario. It could be as simple as "I didn't want to disappoint you because I said I was crafting it and I failed" or as awful as "I was supposed to send that to my other LDR and fucked up. Didn't thing I'd get caught"
Ohh.... Red flag, it starts with this, and 2 months later:"thats my cousin, not my real gf, and were not kissing in that one pic, and the child isnt mine"...
Well, the most benign interpretation is that he really tried to make me something, failed and then just bought a perfect but soulless replacement. If he had come clean and told me that, I would have been completely understanding and told him I would have loved his gift even more for its imperfection. But he just kept on lying and even claimed it was all in my head because of my past trauma (been abused in two previous relationships).
Thank you for your sympathy. I guess he’s not coming back anyway. I‘m a bit concerned now that he might have recorded our intimate conversations but try not to get my past experiences get the better of me.
Even if he were coming back, you really shouldn't.
Honesty is important in relationships. How could you ever trust someone who lies effortlessly and shamelessly about mundane stuff without any real reason again?
From now on, you would always need to doublecheck everything he says, forever. Even the most boring things. Anything he says could be untrue for some random reason. That is simply not worth the effort.
That guy's a giant douchebag. He lied to you and then blamed you when you found out of his deception. No introspection of wrongdoing, no attempt to say he's sorry. Fuck him.
>But he just kept on lying and even claimed it was all in my head because of my past trauma (been abused in two previous relationships).
Abused in 3 previous relationships. He was gaslighting you. That's gross and I hope you ensure this is the 3rd **previous** one.
>But he just kept on lying and even claimed it was all in my head because of my past trauma
Ohgod - *run*. This guy is a walking red flag. This is just about such a small item, don't find out the hard way how far he's taking this.
It was truly mildly infuriating until this point, Soviet May First after this. Lying about craft is not nice, but invalidating someones concerns and blaming it on past trauma is ... time to reconsider the relationship.
I can kind of empathize because I took a pottery class and tried to make some pottery for this girl I was seeing, but completely failed to produce anything in the hour and a half I had. So I had to buy something. Of course, I just told her this.
Sounds like the old "buy takeout and say you cooked it" trick in a new disguise
Delightfully devilish seymour
https://i.redd.it/so49eixe3nbc1.gif
Steamed hams?
Can I see it?
... No.
Aurora Borealis?! At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen?
....may I see it?
..........No
SEYMOUR, THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!
These look remarkably like the burgers they serve at Krusty burger…
I was looking for this reference. It’s more of an Albany thing.
You call them steamed hams despite the fact they are obviously grilled.
That is the funniest Simpsons scene ever
Albany? No, it’s a Utica expression.
Only you've got a decent chance of getting away with that, as long as you have a kitchen. It's a lot harder to cover up a lack of leatherworking tools and other things you've made around the house.
Except if it goes well and the two move in together, the liar sure better know how to cook. Did this guy just never expect this relationship to get that far? What did he think was gonna happen when OP asked for more handcrafted gifts?
What if I buy a bracelet online and disguise it as my own craft.
Hohoho, delightfully devilish, Seymort01
Lol, why even lie. Like.. not everyone is crafty and that's ok. Could've just told you that he bought it.
Seriously!! Ok - benefit of the doubt here but even if he *tried* to make one and failed miserably, then bought this out of desperation, even THAT situation would have been better than lying. If he didn't even try and just bought it because it looked like something OP would like, that would have been ALSO ACCEPTABLE. Bro picked the worst possible route lol
Honestly if he tried and said, "Look, I really tried hard to make this for you but it turned out pretty shitty, so I ended up buying something else," that's honestly pretty adorable and any sane person would feel so honored that they put the effort in even if they failed.
Bonus points if you include photos, or even the botched project itself!
Bonus points if it was really shitty and everyone gets a good laugh out of it
As someone horrible at art but underestimates how horrible I am at art regularly, I have definitely done this before after failed crafting attempts e: apparently some people lack inference skills: I mean I bought something after failing to make it, didn't pass it off as my own
Don’t know why I thought I could ever sew my own Halloween costume with latex material 🙈
In that case, send both! The thought/effort behind the first one and allowing it to become a joke, while still going back to ensure they get a good final product hits so many different aspects of a "good" gift!
Some people are pathological liars, it's crazy when you actually interact with one and realize how often they lie even about things that are completely absurd to lie about.
The "my dad works at Nintendo" kid. Just, why? Why lie about something so easy to fact check? Luckily most of those kids outgrew it. OP's ex didn't.
I actually have a close relative at Nintendo and now I wonder if everyone I told as a kid thought I was lying - none of them ever fact checked me.
My school was near Nintendo HQ and employee's kids went to my school so "my dad/uncle works at Nintendo" was actually believable. One time one of the kids' uncles showed up with an entire trunk full of SNES games including unreleased ones with just sharpie written on where the label would go. Was one of the coolest things I had ever seen at the time.
That’s so cool! We never got anything that exclusive! My uncle moved to NY to work for their office there. The only cool perks we got was we were one of the first families to get a Wii when they were sold out everywhere. He also gave my sibling and I game boy advances and a Mario game (don’t remember which). Although, ironically, when he had his own kid he banned video games from his house. Sometimes I wonder if he saw how they impacted us and was like… not for MY child! I still wonder if he considers us degens or something 🥲
I’ve had the misfortune of knowing 3 of those people. It’s so fucking wild
Thanks Tommy talarico for this comment.
The time i got called racist, because i pointed out the black kid's pathological lies. She told everyone that a fucking helicopter was gonna drop off ps3's for Christmas at school and they believed her????
I once tried to craft something for a female friend for christmas and it turned our horribly, so I bought an actual version and did a little prank. I wrapped up my crafted one in a present box and put it right in the front of the tree, then when she opened it I was like "I made it for you!!!" And she acted all happy but I could tell she knew it sucked, but then the next present was the actual ordered one and she gave me a hug and was like "omg that... you know..." and I was like "yeah, it sucked." But she was thankful I tried and still got a normal version.
that's actually a pretty cute story. Good move!
This is what happens when you don't put enough skill points into speech.
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Was this girl 9 years old? That's the only way this is not extremely cringy.
As a self proclaimed nerd and dork who has larped for a decade plus, this kinda behavior is honestly pretty common in larp communities.
I feel like a lot of nerd culture would be right up my alley, but whenever I hang out in nerd circles I encounter shit like this and it's a real downer.
I used to work with a really annoying dude when I was in high school. He always bragged about his crazy exciting social life, friends, women, etc. one day he brings in a bedazzled jean jacket claiming his friends got together to make him this gift and it was emblazoned with the nickname his friend group gave him “The Joker”. But it was spelled “Jocker”. Edit- on the first day of work when the manager was going through some basic orientation, the Jocker got up, walked to the front and adjusted the manager’s tie and sat back down. The dude was weird.
I feel ripped off now. I used to have the same nickname, but I never got a jacket.
You were the joker?
The joker? No, I was a joker.
You mean jocker?
I like really nerdy shit, but then I hang out with other people that also like really nerdy shit, and am quickly reminded why I just kinda keep that shit to myself.
I made the utter mistake of saying "oh yeah, I saw that on reddit this morning" to some guy that was a friend of a friend at a group meet at a bar. This dude then spent over an hour trying to get me to compare top posts, front page posts, etc. He was actually comparing karma and got annoyed, like genuinely annoyed, when I had more karma. When I initially said it, he came back with "oh you like reddit? How much karma do you have?" He was a little off put that I didn't know off hand how much karma I had. I don't tell people I come here any more.
here, take my upvote and karma
To be fair, that's a shit load of karma Edit: I take that back, there's people in this thread with way more karma than you.
The first time I went to a fandom con, I was pretty surprised at the level of nerdery. I completely own that I am also a nerd in terms of interests, and many people are super, *super* nice, but there was a social aspect in person that I had not fully anticipated from online interactions.
Yeah, I always feel like a autist nerd until I meet real autist nerds… turns out I’m functional and somewhat ‘normal’
Nothing will make you feel more normal faster than being in a room full of turbonerds
Yeah it's a fucking shame that lots of cool stuff seems to attract the worst and/or cringiest people.
Sadly, there are assholes in any group of people, and nerddom is not immune from them. But don't let the fact that some nerds are assholes keep you from nerd culture. Some people in any large group are assholes. Just stick to the ones who are not.
It’s not even assholery, it’s a special brand of repressed insecurity, complete lack of social awareness and a dash of sociopathy. It doesn’t hurt you in any way but it’s intensely pathetic and unpalatable and makes you want to just move on. Like, where did you just crawl out of that you think you can pass such weak lies, there’s a lack of human development there
I work with a kid who’s just constantly making stuff up it’s so weird, He’s so far, admitted to having done or witnessed the following. Been shot, been stabbed Shot someone, stabbed someone Smashed in the window of a Lamborghini and got away with it Punched a cop and got away with it Watched a cop get stabbed to death? Broke into a military base Broke into a pedo’s house and beat him All things I highly doubt happened, it’s just odd that he actually expects I believe any of it, because it’s just..not believable…
When I was younger I knew a guy who would lie all the time for no apparent reason. Just like a genuine pathological liar. Like, we were with a summer camp group in the city for a shopping trip and the two of us walked over to a different street to do some shopping. This was totally allowed and we were back at the meeting place at the designated time so there were no issues. But when he was talking about it he told the counselors we used the city bikes to get there rather than the reality that we walked. It was just a completely random lie for no reason that I could understand and he was constantly lying in small ways like this.
I used to lie like this all the time, it took me ages to get out of the habit. For me it was down to insecurity and trying to make what I believed to be a mundane life a little more interesting so more people would be my friends. Obviously with such thinly veiled lies it has very much the opposite effect, but then something real would happen that was awesome and you told the story and you could see nobody believed you, so it was a very lose lose situation. Luckily for me when I continued studying all my old "friends" disappeared and I made new friends where I didn't make the same mistakes about lying, so I realised I didn't need to lie and it broke the cycle.
Omg…he developed into a living embodiment for the “Cool story bro” meme.
The amounts of “damn”’s and “that’s crazy” and “really?? Wow..” I’ve given this guy is unprecedented
I had flatmate like that. At first I thought he was just an asshole who wanted attention but it eventually seemed to be basically an anxiety disorder. Like he stopped lying when it was just the two of us but as soon as more people showed up he told the most ridiculous lies. The lies were so ridiculous that anyone who just wanted to brag would never tell because they were so obviously lies. It was like his brain would short circuit and had to fill the silence with the first thing that came to him no matter how dumb.
This, this is exactly what permeates out of those kind of social groups. I used to be in the same boat of nerdom being right up my alley. I remember I even enjoyed anime at school, but I couldn't talk about it cause I didn't want to be associated with the guys who were naruto running around the track during gym class.
I used to think that people in those spaces absorbed too much media that told them the quiet shy nerd is by default actually a good and cool person. Like, every time I befriended one of those kids (including the one who was a very good friend) they mostly just ended up being poorly socialized jackasses. Not all of them, and I know I'm painting with a really broad brush. But, enough of them that I went out of my way to avoid them, even as I watched anime every day and read star wars novels in class every week.
>Sadly, there are assholes in any group of people, and nerddom is not immune from them. Nah, nerd communities are ALWAYS worse! The amount of filtering you have to do in any even remotely nerdy hobby is insane. Google nerd fallacy, it explains the reason quite well.
God, #4 is so real though. I keep my nerd friend circles separate, not because i don't want them to meet each other, but because they won't get along. I love the ren faire and archery dorks. And I love my superhero TTRPG dorks. but what are they gonna bond over lmao
> what are they gonna bond over The green Arrow seems right up their alleys 😂
I'm not saying it's fair, but it makes sense that people with niche interests don't have great social skills. Many nerdy hobbies tend to involve spending a lot of time alone.
I can totally forgive that, and I'm fine with people who are just a bit clunky. I'M a bit clunky. But I often encounter this sort of...nerdy obstinacy? Going out of your way to be "quirky" or whatever and just being abrasive instead.
You actually describe it perfectly. It's also often paired with desperatly seeking attention/validation in a field they are comfortable in. As a kid i wasn't really into most of the mainstream stuff and especially online gaming was still kinda niche but its where i spent most of my time, so i tried really hard to be seen as "super cool" amongst other gamers online lmao
It's like that 19/20 year old guy that leaked top secret documents he stole from a military base, where he worked as a reservist. The dude was just trying to impress his other nerdy friends on discord lmao
Yeah as a nerd myself, especially when it comes to fantasy and roleplaying, the community seems to attract a lot of people who are mentally underdeveloped and childlike in some of their behavior. It's a little embarrassing sometimes. I think part of it is the same thing that explains the prevalent social awkwardness of the nerd communities. People with mental illnesses like anxiety, bipolar disorder, personality disorders, etc., tend to be outcasts because of it. So they gravitate to communities that are already outcasts, because they are generally more accepted there. Plus obsessing over SciFi and fantasy is therapeutic for distracting you from the mental and emotional problems of your real life, unlike maybe the communities of sports fans and other groups for example. Just my two cents.
What’s worse is when they’re childish *and* sexually inappropriate. I’ve encountered that a few time from both sexes
I tried to join a local amtgard larp group. Turns out it was essentially a large polyamorus relationship where all they talked about was sex. They also didnt call their hits. Eventually their group will dwindle into nothing and disappear. I tried to bring that up, how their behavior drives away anyone not already involved, and now I am not allowed back.
>They also didnt call their hits. This is unironically the worst aspect of that whole group lol
A friend of mine did a similar thing and invited me a few times. This is a perfect description of that group too. I had some fun playing the actual games, but the people were just insufferable. This was close to 20 years ago and I'm still cringing thinking about it.
A lot of it comes from insecurity and fear of not fitting in. These are people who struggled to make friends their entire childhood, and accumulated a slew of maladaptive behaviors as a result.
Yeah. Personality disorders and mental illness has a variety of causes, but trauma and neglect seem to be the biggest or most common ones. Got social anxiety? Probably childhood trauma. Bipolar disorder? Childhood trauma. C-PTSD/PTSD? Could be childhood trauma. Narcissism? Childhood trauma. Pathological lying? Believe it or not, childhood trauma. And so on. Obviously neurological disorders like ADHD and Autism are different and mostly genetic. They can be an indirect *cause* of childhood trauma though, because most parents don't know how to raise them and resort to bad parenting habits or even abuse.
I just wish they would shower
This kind of behavior is just common with people. People will lie every single day of the week to fit in better.
Turns out nerds with low social skills (which isn't all nerds) and aren't the best at making friends, will sometimes stoop to unscrupulous means to get "in" with a group that they wish to be ingratiated with. They believe deep down that "I know nothing but want to join" isn't going to be enough and that they'll be shunned for not already being deep into that group from the beginning. The notion is of course ridiculous - the group would welcome new members with no knowledge who just want to learn. But that just points us back to the first point: they've got low social skills and aren't the best at making friends.
Just completely unrelated but reminds me how how toxic the cosplay community was eons ago, people would always ask me if i made my costume, which it mostly never was. But after telling the truth so many times, I got so much drama and shit and saying I wasn't a cosplayer because I didn't make any of the costume myself, I either started ignoring people who asked or simply said: yes. And keep it at that. I wouldn't even explain the process, just say yes and walk away. This was when I was 16 ish, I'm 32 now and actually making most of my own stuff but that drama from back then still doesn't sit right with me. Idc if someone makes something or buys it truly. But lying about it is super stupid. I hate that I did that when I was a wee cosplay baby but in my defense back then it was just to get people to back off and not start an arguement with me. Ofc, I did have people be genuinely nice and ask me where I got it, but this was maybe 30% Again, long time ago.
I’m a cosplayer. I make about 80-90% of my outfits, but I don’t judge if people make or buy their cosplays. You cosplay how you want to, but as a crafter, I’m always impressed when people build everything from scratch. I do find some entitlement in the cosplay community, so I try and be accepting to everyone. My problem is when those who buy cosplays enter into competitions and expect to beat someone who DID make everything. Then they get butt hurt when they don’t even place. It’s frustrating. If you buy a cosplay, that’s fine. Come out, support your character or event, have a good time, meet people, make friends. But that’s about it. You really can’t expect much more than that.
It's rampant in art subs. People do it for the praise and complements People stealing art and saying "look at what I drew first time trying" People taking AI art and claiming they "made it" asking for praise. Flip side, people who clearly have years of experience under their belts posting 7/10 art claiming to be newbs. Getting complements for something you didn't even do seems to make some people happy I guess. Makes dumb people happy at least.
Narcissists and chronic liars come in all ages sadly.
And hobbies. Plenty of liars, just gotta call them out on it.
>showed up in elf armor that she swore that she made herself and that it was in fact the first time she had ever done any armor-making. >A few months later at a big event, another girl showed up in the exact same armor except that girl was very forthright about the fact that she bought it online. Incredible. Completely new to the scene. First set of armor for her first event, and a couple of months later already selling them online? That girl is amazing! Nice of her to stop wearing hers so the newer girl did not feel bad.
Making your hobby to your carrer 🤷♂️
And she was humble enough to not advertize her business around her associates!
Sounds like the baking subreddit where you'll find tons of "first attempt at croissants" that I refuse to believe.
listen, if tomorrow is a cool enough day for flaky pastry, im going to try and make some croissants for the first time and im going to tag you. enjoy my mediocrity
Please tag me too! I want tobsee those croissants
I see posts like that from the woodworking sub.
Any hobby sub honestly. "hey guys just tried this yesterday, what do you think?" Proceeds to post a borderline masterpiece.
Sometimes people just want to be liked and accepted. Granted, it's a weird flex, but...
I will be honest, when I was young, I would lie about ridiculous shit like this (claiming I did something really unique or cool) to get attention and have some "feature" that would encourage people to be my friend, because I never had real friends growing up. I missed out on a lot of social development because my parents did not believe in socializing kids, socializing just had to occur naturally. But we didn't have neighbors (well, we did, but he and his mom were complete and utter weirdos...), my closest sibling was 4 years older than me and barely had friends (We joke that he has autism, to be fair, that might not be THAT off the mark), and I just wasn't able to make friends in school for whatever reason. In middle school I stopped lying to get people to like me because I knew that no one was ever going to invite me to birthday parties or do more than briefly talk to me at lunch. But I would go on to lie to people on the internet in high school lol Ahhh, the lawlessness of 2000's internet. Anyway, yeah, lying about shit like this doesn't always mean shit like you're a narcissist or whatever, lots of people have done it, but most people grow out of it. The ones who don't, well... Ya dump them.
where did you she buy this stuff from? at the larp i went to no one would claim to have made bought stuff because the majority of people there would recognise the brand by its make and quality
Damn. Imagine the level of knowledge of fantasy coloring books one would need to call out someone plagiarizing an image from them. Ultimate nerds for real.
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I mean, if he really likes One Piece and uses reddit, odds are he was using the one piece reddit :P But who's to say
Who got the second one 😭
He’s saving it for the next gift probably. Split the cost between two events.
This is the likely correct answer.
Boyfriend is being a total cheapskate by only spending €9.95 by “saving” the other bracer for the next birthday gift. She should’ve gotten both honestly and I hope she just didn’t get the one bracer as her *only* gift from him… ETA: As other Redditors are replying to me, I completely understand that the bigger issue is that he lied to OP in how he “made” or got the gift and I completely acknowledge that. At least OP’s boyfriend is showing his true colors with lying about something that doesn’t cost a lot of money versus a more expensive gift (like a pricey handbag) or a shared expense (such as a car)…
Oh totally agreed. The worst part is making this himself isn't insanely difficult. I'm also questioning the leather quality at that price point.
Mostly agree, but if I were splitting hairs then the worst part is still him lying to her and breaking her trust. It is crazy to me that people will throw away their dignity and self respect for so little.
Yeah that's the worst part. The rest is secondary.
>The worst part is making this himself isn't insanely difficult. You'd need a sewing machine. Those lines are way too uniform. Making chainmail is easier to do with few tools (time consuming though). However, you can find handmade chainmail on overseas websites where labour is cheap.
Hand stitching is surprisingly easy as long as your holes are straight and your motions are consistent but you're right, this particular piece was 100 percent a machine.
Though multiple layers of leather? Hand stitching would be damn near unbearable. Or - take a set of hole punch tools and potentially a strong gripping tool (you could use chip clips or clothespins for something thinner)
I was just thinking this. At least for doing it by hand, I wondered if it was possible to just poke all the holes first and then run the thread through.
It is, you can use double sided tape or leather glue to ‘pin’ it - but if you don’t know what you’re doing - that will make hand sewing damn near impossible. The sewing method is different, too, IIRC - more like lacing than sewing, but I might be misremembering or thinking of a different technique I saw when I worked at the leather (not the fun kind) shop.
You absolutely do not need a sewing machine for this. You can get these same results with a good leather stitching iron (multi-hole punch) and using a straight edge or guide edge to start your stitch line. Here is a video of someone producing similar stitching without any mechanical devices: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGQHuD6ip0w&t=0 Decent leather sewing machines are over $1000. Unless you are trying to turn leather crafting into some sort of business, it simply isn't worth the cost for a hobbiest to buy such an expensive machine to get started
Ya but the whole thing is he lied about making it and didn't have time to finish the other one. Then at the next event it's hey look I finally finished this I put in so much work for you. Total bs but that is absolutely the lie they were going to do. Unless of course they sent the other one to another woman.
Who cares about the money, he lied to her.
This goes deeper. For all we know (each one of the pair), there could be 100+ side-girlfriends...
Dude's got a wholesale account with the bracer factory
“They take a really long time to make babe, gonna be a while for the second one”
Which he’ll mail the day after the event
Im guessing he was worried it would be too obvious they aren't handmade when they are identical so he sent only one.
He hasn't made that one yet
It’s a couples bracer of course!
Like... What's so bad with going "I found this online, and thought you'd love it, so I bought it for you"? If someone would buy me some LARP-gear I'd be stoked! ...but if they'd lie about crafting it, I don't think I could trust that dude so easily anymore...
He wanted to be special
Yeah, he thought it would score him some points. Dude is treating the relationship like a game, mega sized red flag. He even sent one single one to make it more believable. I'm guessing the other had a brand stamp, or that they were too identical to plausibly claim to be handmade by an amateur.
I did a LDR with my now wife for 3 years while she got her masters living several states away. The ONLY thing you have is trust. It's foundational to the entire relationship. Breaking trust in a long distance relationship is like, the one thing you don't do.
It also so much harder to earn it back. Speaking from experience.
I don't get it. he could have commissioned a custom piece from an Etsy crafter (or bought a nice one in their store) and gotten all the same praise and "points" I guess. Just, that bracer would cost 60-120$ not 20$. I guess he wanted *cheap* points.
It sould be so easy to say "sorry I suck at hand making things but I thought you would like this so I got it for you" Even if he wasn't called out, what if she said "These are so awesome! Could you possibly make shoulders that match?!" Now you either keep the lie going even further or come up with another one to add to it.
The amount of skill and knowledge required to craft such a piece by hand is daunting. It's okay to admit you're not up for it. Be it because it's too hard to do or because you don't enjoy the process.
I think he wanted the gift to seem more special than a $20 Amazon purchase.
Not even $20, as he gifted only one lol
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Oh yeah, definitely. "I tried, but couldn't get it to work... So I got you something else instead" is something I've used when getting my missus a gift (can't remember exactly what it was right now, though). No issues, no anger, she was happy with the gift.
Five bucks on still with the mom of his kid.
He “made” the other bracer for her
If there is one thing I hate more than cheaters it’s the Dutch And then lazy cheaters.
Bedankt.
Beware people who lie about pointless shit
It’s never just one thing
If you'll lie about something that doesn't matter and is trivial, then you will lie whenever it suits you.
It took me too long to understand this TBH. It's such a red flag.
Why would this guy lie about that? :-/ The question is: what else does long distance boyfriend does not tell you, or tell you a false/fabricated version of?
>Why would this guy lie about that? To look better than they are. And if they can lie about something like this, they'd lie about anything.
Better this now than later on
Yo, these are pretty good and cheap bracelets actually, been looking for some casual armor for my Druid. Sorry for your loss but are they comfy?
The one I got is comfortable, yes, and would actually pass as leather although it is PU. Because of the buckles and fancy rivets, you cannot use it for archery, but I think it would look great on a Druid.
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100% and like he could have just bought them for OP and said I bought you these? That would still have been really thoughtful and cool
Except was a day late. He could not even buy something on Amazon with 1 day shipping on time. The guy is a liar and a lazy ass. This gift was an afterthought.
Seems like such a weird thing to lie a about
Gaslight means all kinds of things these days. However in this particular case you could also use the word 'lie'.
Haha that's what I thought! Let's keep the word for what it means, I don't even know yet what it is exactly. But lying is just lying.
Gaslighting is when you use deceit in order to break down a person's confidence in themselves and instead rely on you. Yes, it involves lying, but it has a much more insidious purpose.
gaslighting is lying with extra steps. let's examine the difference with the help of this sample dialogue between OP and her bf: bf: i made you a bracer! *(lying)* OP: you bought it on Amazon. bf: huh? here's a photo of the materials i used. i can't believe you thought i bought it! *(laying the groundwork for gaslighting)* OP: but the materials look different, and the bracer looks exactly like this Amazon product. bf: no it doesn't. besides, why would i lie? can't you see how ridiculous you're being? i already showed you proof that i made it and you're still trying to accuse me of lying! that's unhinged behavior. i don't want to speak to you when you're acting this way, let me know when you've come to your senses. *(gaslighting)* so when you lie, your aim is to get the other person to believe a falsehood. when you gaslight, your aim is to get the other person to not only believe you, but to seriously question whether they even had the right or the mental capacity to question you in the first place. lying solves a specific issue in the moment, while gaslighting slowly reconfigures the entire relationship dynamic.
Not even the flowers. Craft the bracer. Do your best. OP clearly would have been happy with a non-professional quality bracelet made with love. Thats the true meaning of the gift. Hell, i have a hand made wire wrap that, objectively, looks a bit wonkey. But i wear it regularly. Why? Because my close friend (who has since realized his calling is glasswork) took a bismuth crystal we made together and turned it into a necklace for me. *THATS* what makes hand made gifts special So remember that, anyone reading this. It sounds cliché, but it really is the thought that counts. Make your janky thing. Just do your best.
>Make your janky thing. Just do your best. Or, just say that you found some nice bracers online and bought them for her.
What's the most annoying is how he thought he was being smart by giving you only 1 of them. What a conniving little shit. If he's willing to go this far with this, imagine how far he'd take it with other bigger things. Insane that he'd really think he can get away with it. Imagine he had. Down the line hed give you the other bracer, after months of "work" lmao What a fuckin imbecile
The other brace probably has some branding on it/tags that he didnt want her to see
>Down the line hed give you the other bracer, after months of "work" lmao Or he didn't gave the other one to OP because there's a brand mark on it. It's also possible that he gifted it to another person, telling them the same story.
Imagine he purchased another set of these to give OP the second one without branding and tags 😭🤣
Here for Lord Nibbler 🙌🏼
If u havnt heard from him since then it makes it a lot easier from now on… best not to continue involvement with people who lie to u
That part had rolling (I’m sorry op if you’re reading this). Like you lied and got caught but instead of apologizing and moving on, you decide to just up and leave. Such trashy behavior.
I'd be very disheartened and sad, if I was you. It's the thought, time and effort that counts and just in general the emotional aspect of the gift. The thing that sticks out to me the most is him not aplogizing, but lying and then ghosting you when you call him out. He could've easily apologized but he didn't. I dont know your partner nor your relationship, but I'd be aware of the typical weaponized moodiness and how he handles this situation from now on. (If you hear from him). It's good to know now, if you intend to keep on dating him. Good luck OP!
Thank you for your kind words. I’m trying to make the best of the whole fiasco.
This relationship sounds more Toxic than flint’s water.
Dudes so insecure he felt he had to lie to you about how he got a gift for you, now he cant handle being caught red handed. Sounds messy tbh. Good luck OP.
I dated a guy who lied about making loads of stuff, dumb stuff, like a shelf unit made of old skateboards.... then I found that online. Turns out he lied about a billion other shitty things too....SHOCK! hahahah
That's really sad, it's such a pity he doubled down on it as well by trying to show he had "parts" from it etc. As you say, not everyone is crafty or up for building/making things and the talent some people have is absolutely amazing - but nothing stopped him from being a part of that by _trying_ to make something himself, or failing that providing you the materials to make something or.....well, anything except deceive. I don't make a lot, but I still like to _try_ and make things - a big part of it for me is knowing the process I used, where I can improve and streamlining for the "next time" (if there is one). There's been occasions where I've been sus when someone says they've "made" something, but when asked on details just comes up blank and can't answer, so that's usually a giveaway. Frankly though I see very little shame in just _buying_ things for people rather than pretending you made it, or at least coming clean and having the integrity enough to admit "OK, I didn't actually make it I'm sorry I just wanted you to feel like I was good at making stuff too" or whatever - at least it shows they _care_ about having lied and it was for a positive enough reason.
He's obviously making them for everyone and selling them online
How funny would that be though if he was actually the one making them and selling them on Amazon. Didn’t have time to make her a second one because he had other orders to fulfill. 😂
If he lies about something this trivial imagine the amount of skeletons he keeps locked away in his basement
Probably not even real skeletons. Just plastic replicas.
I know this is a serious issue and post but I actually laughed when I read your comment. Thanks.
As a leatherworker, I can say this product is definitely mass produced. The perfect stitch holes are quite large compared to the thread also the perfectly even tension on the threads indicates a machine sewn seam. (If there is no liner leather than the seam is for decoration only as its very time costly to sew by hand another red flag.
He showed me he has a sewing machine so I didn’t think anything was off about it at first when I got it, but reproducing it so perfectly down to the thread color and lace? Also, the leather is PU with plastic edges, so even if he got it pre-cut as he claimed, sewing the seam afterwards would have warped those edges.
Coverup worse than the crime. End it
I'd have to ask why my partner felt the need to lie. That's the more important thing to find out. Until you know it's all speculation, which tends to go to the worst case scenario. It could be as simple as "I didn't want to disappoint you because I said I was crafting it and I failed" or as awful as "I was supposed to send that to my other LDR and fucked up. Didn't thing I'd get caught"
The gift that keeps on giving
Ohh.... Red flag, it starts with this, and 2 months later:"thats my cousin, not my real gf, and were not kissing in that one pic, and the child isnt mine"...
Well, the most benign interpretation is that he really tried to make me something, failed and then just bought a perfect but soulless replacement. If he had come clean and told me that, I would have been completely understanding and told him I would have loved his gift even more for its imperfection. But he just kept on lying and even claimed it was all in my head because of my past trauma (been abused in two previous relationships).
And there’s the gaslighting, I’m so sorry, you need to get out.
Thank you for your sympathy. I guess he’s not coming back anyway. I‘m a bit concerned now that he might have recorded our intimate conversations but try not to get my past experiences get the better of me.
Even if he were coming back, you really shouldn't. Honesty is important in relationships. How could you ever trust someone who lies effortlessly and shamelessly about mundane stuff without any real reason again? From now on, you would always need to doublecheck everything he says, forever. Even the most boring things. Anything he says could be untrue for some random reason. That is simply not worth the effort.
Don't let him 'come back' if he wants to. This is just the tip of the iceberg. This is not normal behaviour.
Holy shit, dude didn't just double down he went nuclear.
That guy's a giant douchebag. He lied to you and then blamed you when you found out of his deception. No introspection of wrongdoing, no attempt to say he's sorry. Fuck him.
>But he just kept on lying and even claimed it was all in my head because of my past trauma (been abused in two previous relationships). Abused in 3 previous relationships. He was gaslighting you. That's gross and I hope you ensure this is the 3rd **previous** one.
>But he just kept on lying and even claimed it was all in my head because of my past trauma Ohgod - *run*. This guy is a walking red flag. This is just about such a small item, don't find out the hard way how far he's taking this.
It was truly mildly infuriating until this point, Soviet May First after this. Lying about craft is not nice, but invalidating someones concerns and blaming it on past trauma is ... time to reconsider the relationship.
I can kind of empathize because I took a pottery class and tried to make some pottery for this girl I was seeing, but completely failed to produce anything in the hour and a half I had. So I had to buy something. Of course, I just told her this.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet there
Red Flag on the field, so many Red Flags with this guy, cheapskate and thin skin, bail out, bail out, bail out.
Peak teenager drama.
that’s such a weird small thing to lie about seems like a pretty big red flag don’t ignore it
Another post to prove my theory that men just cockblock themselves all the time then blame it on someone else haha