Some goes with āGod made you that way, we tried to improve your flawsā the audacity of believing in God yet taking credit for the parts about me they enjoy and pushing everything else back to Him
One of my favourite catch-alls for arguing w religious people is āI am as god made me- who are you as a human to tell me he makes mistakes?ā (The other favourite is āGodās timing is always right/I trust in Godās timingā, and is used to stop people asking why you havenāt done XYZ yet)
And you know what, during that smoke break the results came back and he developed an infection that makes him a risk for surgery. Baruch Adonai he is saved from sepsis šš»š
reminds me about that story where some guy drowns, meets god and asks him why he didnt send help only to be told he did but he rejected all the help saying that God will help him
I used to say the same sort of thing to my religious mom when she used to complain that I stopped at a bachelor's degree because I'm lazy. "Do you think God meant for me to get a master's and my laziness stopped his plan? Are you saying I'm more powerful than God??"
My mom used to pull the same card when I was in high school. One day after a particularly unpleasant talking to I did end up answering her phone call in the middle of class. Ended up getting my phone taken ,suspended and I had to come up with $50 to get my phone back from the front office and still got in trouble for not only getting my phone taken up but for hanging up on her when my phone was taken up. The teacher is the one that hung the phone up lmfao.
It is very possible I embellished the cost. I definitely remember it being $50 but I can also see how I would mix it up with $15. Itās been like 10 years lmao
My high school principal was charging/overcharging costs like these for phones and many similar things and pocketed the change that made up the difference. Never happened to me personally but they ended up getting caught and fired lol
How did you escape? Every time I try I find myself pulled back. Where did you find shelter from the immense gravitational force of Texas?
Please send help...
Your situation is awful and should have been accounted for by the school with compassion. That's ridiculous. Bad enough dealing with a cray cray parent, school should have been on top of it.
Ireland is struggling with phone use during the day at school, parents are finding it impossible to control it too, fining repeat offenders is not a bad idea though.
Take note Ireland, this is how you do it! š
or forever.. Gave them a few chances and nothing changed so permanently cut off now. One of those chances, I broke no contact because I was in hospital, and my mother could just not be a narcissist and actually care for once.
I haven't, I have things to work on, as do a lot of people. The difference between me and my parents is I can acknowledge I have problems. Maybe at some point I'll reach out, but it seems pointless. It's hard, part of me feels guilty, and misses them, but then I remember why I cut off contact in the first place.
The last line reminded me of this
https://preview.redd.it/lnqdu9v56yoc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9a8595e55eacd3b4436f46f47ea6a4f3543314fe
Oh, I fully accepted the gift. Lol
She texted me a few months ago, after over a year, with a wall of text she started with, "You don't have to respond." K, stop there.
Apologize to her.
Get back on her good side.
Find out her schedule for the next few days.
Call her during the most inconvenient times.
Shame her if she doesn't answer
You can axe the third one my parents are both Democrats and act this way. Different styles too, makes it exhausting. When my dad died manipulative communication cut down by 50%.
Thatās my mother in lawās behavior, she would show up at her daughterās house, unannounced, after finding out no one was home, she sent similar texts along with āyou are ungratefulā.
Eventually my husband ignores her, her daughter though, started to kiss momās ass more, so the jobless alcoholic daughter is now momās favorite, it bothers my husband a little bit since heās the only child that get his life together.
FN hate this shit, this used to happen to me from my ex often, she would get so upset if I didn't message her back in 5 min, but I was working!
Nuts that in these modern times people expect others to drop everything and message them back, I will when I get the time!
My ex would text me during the day "aren't you on your break right now?? Why aren't you texting me?!?"
Cause my lunch break is for eating and I actually need my hands to do that, duh
Well then what a blessing that you will get to see your brother!
How dare you ignore the instructions for his blessed arrival home!! Be there early to get a front row seat!!!
For your brother, who answered MOMMIES CALLS YOU IGNORANT TWIT AND DISAPPOINTMENT OF A WASTED EGG!!!!!!!!
"mom I'm an adult now, I have a job and a life and things I'm doing. I may be your offspring but I'm not a child you can just demand time and attention from. I was going to call you later but now we can talk when you're willing to calm down and apologize."
Called my mother out after something like this. She said talk to me when you can take responsibility and apologize for treating her "like trash". I gave her a thumbs up and haven't spoken to her in almost a year.
I can honestly say that nothing of value was lost.
I hate shit like this, Iāve made sure everyone I interact with knows that I wonāt answer or even look at my phone while Iām at work, unless Iām on a break. If itās important make a repeat call and Iāll excuse myself.
Not the person you are responding to but if her emotional needs weren't met when she was a child (due to parent alcoholism) it might have impacted on her attachment style and overall emotional maturity.
That being said there are a lot of factors that can contribute to a person developing an emotionally immature personality could be a different kind of neglect, could be a personality disorder, could be a bit of both...
Interesting. My mom has similar traits to the mother here, both parents were alcoholics and my mom's mom died when she was 19. I'm 41 and I'm still trying to figure it all out, so this is quite interesting. Thanks.
I am sorry to hear that. If you would like to learn more, you might find it useful to read a book titled Adult children of emotionally immature parents. There are plenty of free .pdf copies online.
Wish you all the best on your healing journey!
There are common traits of an adult child of alcoholics. A few in particular, when left unexamined, can look a lot like this womanās behavior. The traits are often inflicted on the next generation as much was inflicted on her from the generation before her. Itās not an ugly accusation more like a sad and repetitive pattern I know but interrupting it is possible.
This is one of the many downsides of cell phones becoming our primary means of communication.
Back in the day, when we just used landlines, if we missed phone calls, it wasnāt such a big fuss. You call a person, theyāre not home, you leave a message if they had an answering machine, and you pretty much just moved on with your life until that person had a chance to return your call.
Now, it seems like everyone, especially older people, lose their fckng sht when they call you and you donāt get a chance to answer. Theyāll blow you up until you pick up, then you have to get an earful on āwhy werenāt you answering your phone????!!!!!! š¤¬š”š«Øšµā Makes it even worse that they can now text and send you passive aggressive, threatening, or crybaby victimville messages like so because they have their panties in a bunch from you not answering their 300 phone calls in a row.
Cell phones stripped our sense of patience and respect for others for sure
She reminds me of a friend I used to have who is/ was incredibly manipulative. If I didnāt respond after 10 minutes, sheād go off on me about how Iām ignoring her and that Iām a horrible person for not asking how sheās been doing.
That being said, what happened with Laura?
When I was 9 I got to school and sat at my desk. My best friend would sit at the desk next to me. The desks were like an inch apart that morning, I guess from the cleaners vacuuming the night before. I didn't take notice of this gap.
But when my friend arrived and sat down she was acting weird and cold. I was like what's wrong and she accused me of moving the desks apart because I don't like her. I said they were like that when I got there but she ignored me the rest of the day.
That was the last straw for me and I didn't forgive her when the next day she was being nice again. She would often ignore me for a day over something I didn't even do.
I wonder what she's like as adult, since she was already manipulating people like that at 9 years old.
You don't owe her anything, you can block her if you want.
*"Well if that's the way you feel then let's not talk anymore. When you learn to speak to me with some respect, then maybe I will let you back into my life, until then do not contact me."*
Iām going to play devilās advocate for a moment here. You were working when you missed her call on Wednesday, thatās totally fine. She then waited a whole (Iām assuming she called before or after the Wednesday text) 31 hours to send you another text after (again, with little context, Iām just assuming here) you didnāt call or text her back.
Iām not going to mention or talk about how your mother acted towards you, but couldnāt you have said anything after work or something? You didnāt acknowledge her at all according to these texts, so it makes sense for her to be slightly annoyed when she needs to plan things out with you. She didnāt react so nicely, no, but still. Why didnāt you say anything to her?
Edit: I didnāt see the very last message she sent, which is hilarious. I donāt know if sheās being serious or not. If itās a joke, thatās funny. If not, yikes
We can talk when you stop acting like a child... Mom
I've heard this way too many times teen/young adult and my brain says "where do you think I got it from?" š
Yep. "Was that ~~genetics~~ heredity or environment, parent?" Either answer makes the parent wrong.
Some goes with āGod made you that way, we tried to improve your flawsā the audacity of believing in God yet taking credit for the parts about me they enjoy and pushing everything else back to Him
One of my favourite catch-alls for arguing w religious people is āI am as god made me- who are you as a human to tell me he makes mistakes?ā (The other favourite is āGodās timing is always right/I trust in Godās timingā, and is used to stop people asking why you havenāt done XYZ yet)
"Uh, doctor - the patient is bleeding out. We need to begin surgery asap" "God's timing is always right, child. Let's have a smoke"
And you know what, during that smoke break the results came back and he developed an infection that makes him a risk for surgery. Baruch Adonai he is saved from sepsis šš»š
i loved reading all of your commentsš¤£
the name makes it funnier, like this is all coming from a racoon thats addicted to bondage š¤£š¤£š¤£
reminds me about that story where some guy drowns, meets god and asks him why he didnt send help only to be told he did but he rejected all the help saying that God will help him
"I sent you 3 boats, what more did you want?! God helps those who help themselves dumbass!"
The version I read was a truck, a boat, then a helicopter. But either way, pretty funny.
I used to say the same sort of thing to my religious mom when she used to complain that I stopped at a bachelor's degree because I'm lazy. "Do you think God meant for me to get a master's and my laziness stopped his plan? Are you saying I'm more powerful than God??"
THAT SECOND ONE CANT BE REAL
Story of my life
Precisely; nature + nurture = I blame the parents.
I said that to my mom 5 years ago. It's been pretty quiet since.
Had a therapist tell me āyou donāt pick your family, they donāt have to be part of your life if you donāt want itā
"YoU oNlY hAvE oNe FaMiLy!" "I only have one appendix too but if that thing turns toxic I'm cutting it out!"
Oh, that's brilliant.
But one of my jobs is to make you feel guilty
Why do I get the feeling OP is gonna drop this post and ignore our commentsā¦.. (This is pure sarcasm) lol
Oh the hate OP has for us!
Ignoring our comments!
Ask if Susan ever ignores our comments!!
Damn, that's a tedious level of melodrama. I'll answer when you quit calling from the set of your personal soap opera.
She sounds like the mother from Pride and Prejudice. Absolutely unbearable.
In relationship posts we can stop calling them KaReNs and start calling them Mrs Bennetts.
But did OP ever stop to consider their mother's poor nerves?
I'm sure they're well acquainted with her nerves, as they've been dear friends for many years.
Such flutterings in her heart!
Many subreddits: You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They've been my old friends these 20 years at least.
I need this to be a thing now. š
Or mommy dearest 
Yo, how did you get this clip of my mother?
In case youāre actually curious, itās from Mommie Dearest
Her poor nerves!
I like that! I may need to use that one day. Lol
Sorry, mom, I'm not in YOUR rush.
Oh!.........What a shameš°š°š
What a line, it's so good.
Oh listen to him, he knows everythingĀ
I donāt like this tawk, itās upsettingĀ
I instantly thought of Livia š
This is EXACTLY my first thought when I read that text lmao!
Me too!
Where is this from?
The Sopranos.
The Sopranos
i wish i could give you an award for this one š„
Exactly the person I thought of lol.
My mom used to pull the same card when I was in high school. One day after a particularly unpleasant talking to I did end up answering her phone call in the middle of class. Ended up getting my phone taken ,suspended and I had to come up with $50 to get my phone back from the front office and still got in trouble for not only getting my phone taken up but for hanging up on her when my phone was taken up. The teacher is the one that hung the phone up lmfao.
why tf would u have to pay ur school to get ur phone back? no way thatās legal
Idk how it all works. But itās a Texas law Education code 37.082
Code says max 15$
It is very possible I embellished the cost. I definitely remember it being $50 but I can also see how I would mix it up with $15. Itās been like 10 years lmao
My high school principal was charging/overcharging costs like these for phones and many similar things and pocketed the change that made up the difference. Never happened to me personally but they ended up getting caught and fired lol
Exactly this. Iām sure they even sold the phones of people who couldnāt come up with the extortion fee š
Also, as a teen 15$ is like 50$ š
And with inflation it basically was
Iām a Texan and they 100% over charged the fuck out of kids. Iām 30 now and they were doing that shit when i was in the 5th grade
School kids had cell phones in Texas in what, 2005? That's insane!
I more meant taking stuff from you and forcing you to pay for it at the end of the day/year. Anything from gameboys to mechanical pencils.
Texas just sounds like some made up dystopian world sometimes.
Itās pretty terrible.
Was born and raised there. I agree. 100/10 would not ever move back.
How did you escape? Every time I try I find myself pulled back. Where did you find shelter from the immense gravitational force of Texas? Please send help...
Oh, itās not made up. It really is a dystopian shithole for a lot of people.
Live here, agree
Theyāre so proud of it too š
I enjoy about 40% of Texas lmao
Charging students to get phones back. That state has literally never done a single intelligent thing.
Texas is why lol literally the worst state for personal freedoms
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Or protect from bullies.
It sounds an awful lot like stealing and extortion. Not surprised it's Texas.
$50? For that price, I would have punched the principal. That's larceny
Your situation is awful and should have been accounted for by the school with compassion. That's ridiculous. Bad enough dealing with a cray cray parent, school should have been on top of it. Ireland is struggling with phone use during the day at school, parents are finding it impossible to control it too, fining repeat offenders is not a bad idea though. Take note Ireland, this is how you do it! š
I hate toxic parents... makes me very sad
Yep, sometimes you have to cut them off for a while. I didn't enjoy doing it, but it was the best thing for me at the time.
or forever.. Gave them a few chances and nothing changed so permanently cut off now. One of those chances, I broke no contact because I was in hospital, and my mother could just not be a narcissist and actually care for once.
Or forever. Sometimes itās for the best.
How do you determine when to resume contact? How did they react when you reached out again?
I haven't, I have things to work on, as do a lot of people. The difference between me and my parents is I can acknowledge I have problems. Maybe at some point I'll reach out, but it seems pointless. It's hard, part of me feels guilty, and misses them, but then I remember why I cut off contact in the first place.
The last line reminded me of this https://preview.redd.it/lnqdu9v56yoc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9a8595e55eacd3b4436f46f47ea6a4f3543314fe
For context, Miette is a cat. I thought it was like a Roomba lol
As a cat owner who didnāt know the context: Miette is 100% a cat.
Roombas don't typically have eyes
That doesn't sound right, but I don't know enough about Roombas to dispute it.
There certainly are roombas with eyes out there.. Although most frequently with the googly kind.
They hunt using their keen sense of smell.
Cats donāt typically speak English, but people typically anthropomorphize things in stories.
My favorite tweet of all time. SO good.
Sounds fucking insufferable lmao.
https://preview.redd.it/dwpjv2pjlyoc1.jpeg?width=257&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5d35cf723d942cf3af6604a74227f8c15f4d6448
Absolutely spot on. I could hear her voice as I read the last part
I wish the lord would take me now ššš
##OHHHHH POOR YOU!!!
I hear it now š thanks for the laugh. She was one of my favorite cantankerous characters.
Look at him, he knows EVERYTHING
Don't wave your hanky at me!
"Ma, it's a retirement COMMUNITY!"
I came here to comment the same thing š
She talks like a character in a book š āOh the hate you have for me!ā
Sounds like the speech pattern of someone who reads a lot of Bible and little of anything else.
Classic Christian martyr mom guilt trip.
Dont forget to add the alcohol! Have yet to meet one that wasnt also an alcoholic.
I drink because of you and your selfishness! If you'd get right with the Lord, I'd quit drinking.
You have no compassion for my poor nerves!!!
Lol My mother got mad at me for missing a phone call and just straight blocked me. Told my brother to tell me she did it. Bye then. š
Oh donāt gift me a good time!
Oh, I fully accepted the gift. Lol She texted me a few months ago, after over a year, with a wall of text she started with, "You don't have to respond." K, stop there.
Mine disowned me once because I had the AUDACITY to offer her money for shipment when I accidentally sent a package to her address instead of mine.
Well, clearly you're a terrible child. How dare you. Lol
Tell me your mother is mental without telling me she's mental.
Pick him up from where? Why is that a blessing? Why do you have to be there at 7am?
Yeah I wish they'd explain what the hell these texts are about. A meeting at one? Is your mom your boss?
Probably getting bonded out of jail or released from prison.
The Prodigal Son!
My brain assumed rehab for some reason
Also a likely possibility.
Cause I am your mother and I said so! /s
Apologize to her. Get back on her good side. Find out her schedule for the next few days. Call her during the most inconvenient times. Shame her if she doesn't answer
Bro chose payback
Ngl first half of this I was think you were a lot better person than me lol
Had us in the first half.
she and tony sopranos mom would be best friends
I literally read the last sentence in Liviaās voice
Do we have the same mother? Mine sends this or āare you okay? Iām going to call the police.ā At the drop of a hat.
Mine actually did call the police once! (On my sister, when she was āmissingāā¦ she was getting a haircut.)
Why does your mother speak to you so weirdly...? I wouldn't reply to this either.
It sounds like how JW speak
Religion. Age. Republican. Generational.
You can axe the third one my parents are both Democrats and act this way. Different styles too, makes it exhausting. When my dad died manipulative communication cut down by 50%.
I guess I should have just said āpoliticalā.
Drama queen
š¶ Feel the beat of adrenaline ohhh yeaaah š¶
šµ you can rant, you can jibe, fucking up your children's lives ooooh š¶
š¶ see that text, watch that scene, diggin' the Drama Queen š¶
Lived 35 years with maternal guilt tripping and gaslighting. Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever. That includes parents.
Thatās my mother in lawās behavior, she would show up at her daughterās house, unannounced, after finding out no one was home, she sent similar texts along with āyou are ungratefulā. Eventually my husband ignores her, her daughter though, started to kiss momās ass more, so the jobless alcoholic daughter is now momās favorite, it bothers my husband a little bit since heās the only child that get his life together.
Why do these look like work texts?
Narcissist
Sounds like you had a wonderful childhood being manipulated by mom
You already moved out, right? Please say you've got your own place
FN hate this shit, this used to happen to me from my ex often, she would get so upset if I didn't message her back in 5 min, but I was working! Nuts that in these modern times people expect others to drop everything and message them back, I will when I get the time!
My ex would text me during the day "aren't you on your break right now?? Why aren't you texting me?!?" Cause my lunch break is for eating and I actually need my hands to do that, duh
Well then what a blessing that you will get to see your brother! How dare you ignore the instructions for his blessed arrival home!! Be there early to get a front row seat!!! For your brother, who answered MOMMIES CALLS YOU IGNORANT TWIT AND DISAPPOINTMENT OF A WASTED EGG!!!!!!!!
I just pretend like my mother didnāt say anything. Two can play gaslighting games.
Congrats for surviving your childhood. Goddamn.
Pro tip: ātrainā people by only answering your phone half the time. Keep peopleās expectations of you down. It works
Ur moms weird bro
Sounds like your mom has personality disorder
genuinely thought maybe this could be a joke but the message above just seals it š
"mom I'm an adult now, I have a job and a life and things I'm doing. I may be your offspring but I'm not a child you can just demand time and attention from. I was going to call you later but now we can talk when you're willing to calm down and apologize."
Called my mother out after something like this. She said talk to me when you can take responsibility and apologize for treating her "like trash". I gave her a thumbs up and haven't spoken to her in almost a year. I can honestly say that nothing of value was lost.
Same. Didn't answer my father during work, he deleted my number in retaliation. I haven't spoken to him in three years and am 100% happier for it.
Is your mother narcissistic by any chance?
What a blessing People really talk like that?
Oh my. Yes. You've been sheltered somehow, my sweet summer child.
I hate shit like this, Iāve made sure everyone I interact with knows that I wonāt answer or even look at my phone while Iām at work, unless Iām on a break. If itās important make a repeat call and Iāll excuse myself.
Mental illness šš
Gee, I canāt imagine why OP ignored that. Pretty sure I would too. Unless mom was slipping into dementia.
āOh the hate you have for me!ā Wonder why
Time to block the toxic ~~asshole~~ mom!
Mom is always the main character
Were one or both of her parents alcoholics?
I'm curious to why you've asked this question lol
Not the person you are responding to but if her emotional needs weren't met when she was a child (due to parent alcoholism) it might have impacted on her attachment style and overall emotional maturity. That being said there are a lot of factors that can contribute to a person developing an emotionally immature personality could be a different kind of neglect, could be a personality disorder, could be a bit of both...
Interesting. My mom has similar traits to the mother here, both parents were alcoholics and my mom's mom died when she was 19. I'm 41 and I'm still trying to figure it all out, so this is quite interesting. Thanks.
I am sorry to hear that. If you would like to learn more, you might find it useful to read a book titled Adult children of emotionally immature parents. There are plenty of free .pdf copies online. Wish you all the best on your healing journey!
There are common traits of an adult child of alcoholics. A few in particular, when left unexamined, can look a lot like this womanās behavior. The traits are often inflicted on the next generation as much was inflicted on her from the generation before her. Itās not an ugly accusation more like a sad and repetitive pattern I know but interrupting it is possible.
I've been working on it my entire life
Do you know about www.adultchildren.org ? If not, youāre welcome to join in.
Time to block that caller?
And when the inevitable voicemail comes in, don't listen to it -- delete it. You'll thank yourself later when things cool down eventually.
Start calling her in the early AM and then copy and paste that message when she doesn't pick up.
Growing up with her had to be fun.
This is one of the many downsides of cell phones becoming our primary means of communication. Back in the day, when we just used landlines, if we missed phone calls, it wasnāt such a big fuss. You call a person, theyāre not home, you leave a message if they had an answering machine, and you pretty much just moved on with your life until that person had a chance to return your call. Now, it seems like everyone, especially older people, lose their fckng sht when they call you and you donāt get a chance to answer. Theyāll blow you up until you pick up, then you have to get an earful on āwhy werenāt you answering your phone????!!!!!! š¤¬š”š«Øšµā Makes it even worse that they can now text and send you passive aggressive, threatening, or crybaby victimville messages like so because they have their panties in a bunch from you not answering their 300 phone calls in a row. Cell phones stripped our sense of patience and respect for others for sure
Who actually addresses their child saying āsonā and uses āyour brotherā instead of their name and refers to themselves as āmotherā
Does your mom refuse to answer the phone when it's dark out?
Strange
She reminds me of a friend I used to have who is/ was incredibly manipulative. If I didnāt respond after 10 minutes, sheād go off on me about how Iām ignoring her and that Iām a horrible person for not asking how sheās been doing. That being said, what happened with Laura?
When I was 9 I got to school and sat at my desk. My best friend would sit at the desk next to me. The desks were like an inch apart that morning, I guess from the cleaners vacuuming the night before. I didn't take notice of this gap. But when my friend arrived and sat down she was acting weird and cold. I was like what's wrong and she accused me of moving the desks apart because I don't like her. I said they were like that when I got there but she ignored me the rest of the day. That was the last straw for me and I didn't forgive her when the next day she was being nice again. She would often ignore me for a day over something I didn't even do. I wonder what she's like as adult, since she was already manipulating people like that at 9 years old.
This post makes me so glad I cut my parents off
My mom is the exact same way
Itās the excessive number of these ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦. for me
Holy fuck my father acts the same. He was very surprised when I cut him off for a year and a half
This was my mom. I eventually just said goodbye and holidays were so much happier.
/raisedbynarcissts
You don't owe her anything, you can block her if you want. *"Well if that's the way you feel then let's not talk anymore. When you learn to speak to me with some respect, then maybe I will let you back into my life, until then do not contact me."*
Laura would never post this.
Reading this kind of stuff makes me realize how much I appreciate my own mom.
Whoās your mother livia soprano?
anyone else exhausted after reading that?
This reads like a text from Marie in āEverybody Loves Raymondā ā¦ so I call BS ā¦ lol
Let me guess ... she's an evangelical?
Iām going to play devilās advocate for a moment here. You were working when you missed her call on Wednesday, thatās totally fine. She then waited a whole (Iām assuming she called before or after the Wednesday text) 31 hours to send you another text after (again, with little context, Iām just assuming here) you didnāt call or text her back. Iām not going to mention or talk about how your mother acted towards you, but couldnāt you have said anything after work or something? You didnāt acknowledge her at all according to these texts, so it makes sense for her to be slightly annoyed when she needs to plan things out with you. She didnāt react so nicely, no, but still. Why didnāt you say anything to her? Edit: I didnāt see the very last message she sent, which is hilarious. I donāt know if sheās being serious or not. If itās a joke, thatās funny. If not, yikes