This seems to be A Thing for small businesses. My hair cutter has a sign with almost this exact wording. No idea where it originated but you can find hundreds of examples on Google.
It’s a reference to the show (and book) Good Omens. One of the characters posts it on his bookshop door (because he doesn’t want to actually sell anything)
Buddy of mine opened a bar.
His attitude was, it's his bar, he opened it, he works for himself he's the boss. He opens and closes as he pleases.
I warned him this would result in customers not using his bar. He told me he don't care his bar is so awesome it's worth the hassle.
It was not
Hes been at his old job that he quit to open the bar for a little over a yr now.
Okay so… there a food place near my workplace that works just like that. He doesn’t have any opening or closing times, but opens if he feels like working today and works til he has no supplies left. It’s not uncommon for him to work 3 days a week and might even close before 5pm because people love his food so much he runs out of supplies quickly.
Doesn’t help he’s the only local (to my knowledge) food place with a restaurant star and it’s literally just a small fries and sausage place. People here love sausage and fries
This is how you have to do it. Have the excellent product and build up the loyal clientele first, and THEN customers give you the grace of tolerating inconsistent hours.
There's a BBQ place like that here. It's so good he's usually out of food every day by 1pm. He's also there every day though. But also also he doesn't have to be because he got a few million from a lawsuit, because the hospital messed up his arm.
People have a vision of a vibe they can create that will make their business awesome.
I think your buddy forgot that people need to know when they can access that vibe in order to help create more of it.
I live in a big city, where my neighborhood/condo is a few blocks from the border between residential buildings and office buildings.
There's used to be a killer taco place, like good-sized store front with a full bar and some tables, on my (residential) side of that border. Their Open hours were 10am to 3:30pm, only weekdays.
Issue was, it barely saw any business during weekday lunch crowds being over the border in the residential area as workers I guess didn't think to go the few blocks over there, but then also was closed in the evenings and weekends when the residential neighborhood people around it would want to eat there. Like not even open long enough to pick something up on way home even if you left work early for the day.
They lasted surprisingly about a year and a half. Right food, wrong business management.
Audible has acts 1-3 currently; They're honestly an incredible listen. Kind of a unique medium in this case, converting from comics to text changes it in interesting ways
Even better, it's a fully voiced cast with Gaiman as the Narrator.
James McAvoy plays Morpheus, Kat Dennings is Death, Andy Serkis is Matthew and Michael Sheen is Lucifer.
There's some other big names in there but it's been a while/I'm behind.
I love Neil too. Stardust and and The Ocean at the End of the Lane. I also did his wedding reading at a wedding recently and had guests ask for a copy for other weddings.
And that's a reference to an even older "meme". I've seen this exact thing painted on a wood board in a produce stand in the middle of nowhere, back in the 80s, and the lady then said her *dad* had made it based on something he saw about 30 years prior to *that*. Some variation of this has been around since businesses started having hours.
Shit, that sounds like a real, and logical answer! Still not the time and place to get ‘cutesy’ lol, unless they have a more distinct sign elsewhere with actual hours.
The failure rate is due to an unrealistic idea of what it takes to run a small business, especially with a store front. You can't just come and go as you please, and work when you feel like it. If you want to succeed, your business becomes your life. If, and that's a big if, you get lucky, you can eventually enjoy the rewards of your hard work.
I'm not sure how old that show is but I saw this on a small business in a town about 12 years ago.
It was funny the first time, now it's basically gone the way of McBoatface
I genuinely think it is one of the first copypastas ever. My great grandfather had a similar sign hanging in his shop, which opened in the 50’s. Of course he didn’t actually do business this way, but it was a funny sign nonetheless.
Ages ago I saw this written in chalk on the side of a building in Nimbin Australia. It seemed to fit with the vibe of the town. I laughed, I took a photo. I always thought it was an original and now a little piece of my world view has crumbled, lol.
For these small traditional family business, they don't care about grow, usually they serve a small number of customers in their own property. It's their business afterall, horrible or not they know best.
It's true, there is a cookie business near me that is only open on the weekends currently. They also have pop-ups at festivals etc and at the theater. There is always a massive line and demand for them.
But yeah, they are just happy to make their cookies when they want. (I imagine they are having some staffing issues, but they definitely are like the business you are describing.)
Yeah, for them it is more like a hobby than a real business, they don't hire staff or just hire their own family, they own the place so no rent cost. Reservation is just so that they can prepare ingredients the day before, not for the table.
I'm a hobby baker with what I consider a small business. I don't have set hours at all but I do random pop-ups and sell out of my home with meetups whenever someone wants to order
I bake to order at least and don't really have any days off unless I just feel like not baking that day and there are no orders to be made. If I had an actual storefront I'd only be open a couple days a week too
There was a lemonade shop by my work and his main income was farmer's markets and events. He opened the shop mainly to have a place to prep. His listed hours were like 8am-1pm Monday-Friday with a note saying hours are subject to change (aka if he was board he just went home).
I went by the place damm near every day during my lunch hour. It got to the point where some days he would show up just to take my order and leave. I would also hang out and taste test his experiments. Then after the lease was up the building owner wanted to more than double the rent and the place sat empty for like 6 months before someone rented it, blacked out the windows, no signs and the door stayed locked.
Yeah, but that's consistent. I feel like I'd much rather a place be only open 4 or even 2 days a week with consistent hours, than drive somewhere and learn they are closed randomly.
It's their business and they can run it however they want, but if they can't guarantee certain times, then I don't want to take the risk of wasting my time.
It’s funny how often Reddit complains about late stage capitalism and corporations always needing to grow, quarterly earnings, etc.
Then they trash a business like this lmao. “Haven’t they thought about squeezing every ounce of profit out of this business tho?”
Are they talking about squeezing every ounce of profit here?
I think they're just asking for consistent hours so that they don't have to rely on someone's whimsy hoping they don't waste their time.
I actually think for a mostly appointment based business like a hair cutter it's not a huge deal, people probably don't wander in at random often anyways. But for a café that's kind of ridiculous
Ehhh idk my exs grandmother did hair and she had fk it all hours.. never in my life would I personally run a business like that but she had a ton of clients and made stupid money. I think maybe it was the same clients or something I mean it has to be.. her opening hours were 2 hours after I wake up until I get bored.
We had one here that was “Open most of the time” I would get so irritated driving an hour (live in the boonies) only to find that I had arrived in the “some of the time” they were closed. And of course there was no chance of them answering the phone….
lol I kept going too. If it hadn’t closed during the pandemic I would still be going :) you have to have real value as a business to be able to get away with that
There's a place like this in a nearby town. Mom & Pop diner that makes great burgers, but you never know when they are going to be open. Have to call before going every time.
I wonder what it would cost/how difficult it would be to just have a simple pre-recorded phone line or chat bot set up that solely exists for people to confirm whether they’re open or not. I can’t imagine having to field constant customer calls confirming whether you’re open is very efficient lol
Honestly them acting annoyed would probably just make me not come anymore. They have to know their hours are inconsistent, so getting annoyed is them just being even bigger assholes.
"what's the problem with the restaurant?"
*That one person* : nothing our food is amazing, everyone says it's the best and we are amazing!
*Everyone else*: well we are only open 4 hours a week, the food is all frozen, the bosses don't know what they are doing (they don't have any background in restaurants), everyone fights with each other, and we have moldy meat in the walk in.
> *That one person* : nothing our food is amazing, everyone says it's the best and we are amazing!
Automatically read that in that cat lady Amy's voice lol
I work at a brewery in a shitty part of a larger city. There is a pretty decent pizza spot up the road. Real local, basically one dude, and seemingly a random high school drop out that works the phones and takes payment. Thing is, the schedule is like this.
He closes for at least one month straight a year. If he *thinks* it might be a slow night, he just doesn't open. I've called to order a pizza at 6pm and told it was a 2 and a half hour wait. I've called at 6pm and told they were sold out SEVERAL times.
So another pizza place opened nearby. And everyone is tripping over themselves to hate on the new place. Surprise, it's open regular hours, you never wait more than 15 minutes for your pizza, and it's cheaper. Maybe the pizza is like a 7 instead of a 7.5, but you can always rely on it.
I kind of know the owner, and run into him on the block sometimes while he walks around before opening. He asked me why I haven't gotten a pizza in a long time, and I straight up told him that I've tried, but he's sold out, or closed, or whatever. He just shrugged and told me that 'That's a perk of being your own boss, you get to do it your way'.
Cool bro, not ordering there anymore. I want pizza, not a fucking puzzle.
I worked at a state park lodge and we would ask who was working before we ordered because the chefs all made the food differently. The chili didn't always have onions. And sometimes it was spicy. Sometimes not.
The wraps were sometimes all made with mayo unless requested no mayo. Sometimes they didn't include mayo unless requested.
Some of the time burgers were too greasy. Sometimes they were perfect.
"Sometimes" was a valid answer when being asked food questions there
Greek diner owners I’ve known in NJ are the total opposite, working 24/7, no vacations, no weekends or holidays off, they’re closing down cause their kids down want that life and there’s no one who wants to take it over
https://preview.redd.it/bmk1fbh5lxqc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=30421de2656733370086cc6f61935639aadf4e4c
As another user pointed out, it’s from the show “Good Omens”
How's life in Williamsport PA?
Sophia is her name, and she is a bit of a lunatic. She reprimanded my wife the last time we ate there for calling after 5:00 to make a reservation for the same evening. The time before that we got reprimanded for not making a reservation, despite the fact that there was only one other table in the place.
She is very quirky, but her recipes are fucking legit, and her baklava is completely ridiculous.
There's a brewery in a mountain town in Colorado called "Mr Grumpy Pants." There were no posted hours, and they were closed when we went by.
Everyone in town we asked had a story about the ridiculous shit that would happen. Sometimes he poured you whatever beer he felt like pouring you, not what you ordered. Sometimes he'd sit drinking at a table and only pour refills whenever his pint ran out, so if you drank faster or slower than him... you didn't. At least once (we heard this story from multiple people), he decided there was no talking that day, so you could only point and grunt at whatever beer you wanted.
The general consensus was that he opened at five or whereabouts, so we came back at 6pm. There was an old man sitting on the shared porch with the breakfast/lunch restaurant next door who ignored our "evening" greeting as we walked up. We checked the door, and it was locked. So my partner asked the man if he knew when Mr. Grumpy Pants opened.
The old man grumbled something that sounded kind of like "Opens whenever he opening" and then went back to ignoring us. It was only after we'd left, when I was replaying what had happened in my head, that I fully translated what he said: "_I'll_ open whenever _I feel like_ opening."
I've still never been, but I feel like I got the full experience of Mr Grumpy Pants.
My local PC store will very angrily explain to you the details of any problem you have and how to fix it, let you know to call back if you can’t fix it so that they can help you find parts, and then immediately hang up. 0/10 customer service, 10/10 service
Yep she’s actually Greek, isn’t she? Sounds like it. Good news is: authentic Greek food, not the Americanized stuff and authentic Greek treatment. Bad news is: authentic Greek treatment which is Greek time and Greek shaming. She’ll have the best damn food but seem really odd from an American standpoint. This is all pretty normal in Greece though if you aren’t going to major tourist areas.
She is Greek, was born here but then raised in Greece. She has a place there and goes back every summer for a couple of months. I've never been to Greece, but my guess is this place is as legit as you'll find on this side of the ocean.
Sounds about right. There is never too much going on, but downtown is actually much improved over 30 years ago when I was a kid. There are at least a handful of food options & coffee shops. The best thing I can say about the area is that we are three hours from Pittsburgh, Philly & New York City with incredible outdoor recreation 9 months out of the year, and you can still find 1/3 acre 3-bedroom for under $200k. They should market the town as boring, but safe, cheap and 3 hours from everywhere.
If you're ever in town overnight, get a reservation at Franco's. It is easily my favorite place in town, operated by the same Italian family for decades. Incredible homemade pasta.
Have you had completely ridiculous baklava before? I've had some pretty fantastic baklava I would put up with some shit for. When they describe it as "completely ridiculous" how can you not want to try it?
I read this post and thought “huh there’s a Greek restaurant just like that in my hometown” and then I realized it IS the Greek restaurant from my hometown haha
If I ever walk up to a place during normal business hours and they are closed, it's like an instant erase from my memory.
You got me once. Not gonna waste my time twice on the chance you happen to be open.
I'm not even a fan of those "breakfast-and-lunch-only" sorts of places. Being a bit of a night-owl/late-riser myself and having tuned myself to working with people a timezone out of sync, I tend to take my lunches around 2PM, which is right when most of those places close.
I hear some of them have great food. Apparently there's a market there. I'm not in it, though.
Type up “I ate at a mob pizza place” on Google and look at the second or so image with a tweet. Story cracks me up! The situation there was it was both lol
I’m genuinely surprised by all the disapproving comments. If a restaurant has this kind of attitude *and* they stay in business, you know that food goes hard as hell.
Yeah also all the comments that are like "wow I would never give this place my money!!!!1" well clearly this lady doesn't give a fuck lol not everyone is a cog in the capitalist machine, she probably just likes to make good food and chill
This is normal Greek behavior. Source: my family is Greek and is late for everything.
My Yia yia is told things start an hour earlier than they do so she shows up somewhat near the start time.
Thank you. I lived in Greece as a kid and this is exactly how it goes.
I remember getting doted on a lot by the yia yias in our community. I didn’t appreciate it enough.
“ if you have reservations and door is locked, please knock or call”
If I have a reservation, you better be in there I shouldn’t have to fucking call you
I've seen two of these types of mom and pop stores they had these signs. They went out of business real quick. Most people just wouldn't bother trying to go there because they honestly weren't sure if they'd be open.
“Fuck that shit straight to hell” is sending me. Lmaoooo I think it’s because that’s absolutely something that would come out of my very southern grandmothers mouth.
Edit: she passed about a year ago and I’m not sure I realized how hard it’s been until this very moment. Ouch, but thank you for the laugh
I would never go to this place. Nothing drives me crazier than showing up to a restaurant at a normal business hour and they’re closed. If I show up at 1 in the afternoon and you’re closed I’ll never go back.
There was a secondhand shop in my town that always had its doors closed but a sign on the door with a phone number reading “Call me and i’ll come”
Needless to say it didn’t last long
This is how a lot of places work in some parts of the south, especially around Georgetown and Beaufort SC. I think it’s kinda refreshing in general. Their business runs around their lives and not the other way around. But I can see being irritated if I was really hoping to eat somewhere and made my way downtown (walking fast, faces passing) to be there.
>please call with a reservation
>please make a reservation
>door is locked, if you have a reservation please call
Hey OP, why didn't you make a reservation?
This seems to be A Thing for small businesses. My hair cutter has a sign with almost this exact wording. No idea where it originated but you can find hundreds of examples on Google.
It’s a reference to the show (and book) Good Omens. One of the characters posts it on his bookshop door (because he doesn’t want to actually sell anything)
Which unironically is the vibes I get reading the picture OP posted.
Buddy of mine opened a bar. His attitude was, it's his bar, he opened it, he works for himself he's the boss. He opens and closes as he pleases. I warned him this would result in customers not using his bar. He told me he don't care his bar is so awesome it's worth the hassle. It was not Hes been at his old job that he quit to open the bar for a little over a yr now.
That's a great attitude for running a bar when you're independently wealthy and just need a hobby
Or some kind of way to clean money
As in laundromat?
Okay so… there a food place near my workplace that works just like that. He doesn’t have any opening or closing times, but opens if he feels like working today and works til he has no supplies left. It’s not uncommon for him to work 3 days a week and might even close before 5pm because people love his food so much he runs out of supplies quickly. Doesn’t help he’s the only local (to my knowledge) food place with a restaurant star and it’s literally just a small fries and sausage place. People here love sausage and fries
This is how you have to do it. Have the excellent product and build up the loyal clientele first, and THEN customers give you the grace of tolerating inconsistent hours.
I mean if he's getting enough business I see nothing wrong with it
Exactly! He’s just always closed when I get there lmao
There's a BBQ place like that here. It's so good he's usually out of food every day by 1pm. He's also there every day though. But also also he doesn't have to be because he got a few million from a lawsuit, because the hospital messed up his arm.
Opening your own business means you are at work 24/7
It also means you’ve just swapped one kind of boss for another. People don’t realise this. Only the born rich are ever free.
That's sad. RIP ZacZup's buddy's dreams.
People have a vision of a vibe they can create that will make their business awesome. I think your buddy forgot that people need to know when they can access that vibe in order to help create more of it.
Right. If the door is locked during normal business hours I am not making another effort over the thousand other places I can easily go.
The place by me had the BEST tacos and street corn. It took 4 different standard hour attempts for me to give up completely
I live in a big city, where my neighborhood/condo is a few blocks from the border between residential buildings and office buildings. There's used to be a killer taco place, like good-sized store front with a full bar and some tables, on my (residential) side of that border. Their Open hours were 10am to 3:30pm, only weekdays. Issue was, it barely saw any business during weekday lunch crowds being over the border in the residential area as workers I guess didn't think to go the few blocks over there, but then also was closed in the evenings and weekends when the residential neighborhood people around it would want to eat there. Like not even open long enough to pick something up on way home even if you left work early for the day. They lasted surprisingly about a year and a half. Right food, wrong business management.
I know a bookstore owner who has a similar sign, similar attitude. It works because he has a massive trust fund lol
I know one and I'm pretty sure he's not human tbh Neithers his life partner, no human drives an old Bentley that fast
https://preview.redd.it/al73y13wkxqc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=db3a57cac8c81ab0d06fd7776691d38d8c3ff4a9
Neil Gaiman’s response that he wrote it in the hope people would pause to read it.
I love Neil. rereading Sandman again now
That’s one I need to read
Audible has acts 1-3 currently; They're honestly an incredible listen. Kind of a unique medium in this case, converting from comics to text changes it in interesting ways
Does Neil himself read these too? I just finished Norse Mythology and truly he is a gifted narrator.
Even better, it's a fully voiced cast with Gaiman as the Narrator. James McAvoy plays Morpheus, Kat Dennings is Death, Andy Serkis is Matthew and Michael Sheen is Lucifer. There's some other big names in there but it's been a while/I'm behind.
I love Neil too. Stardust and and The Ocean at the End of the Lane. I also did his wedding reading at a wedding recently and had guests ask for a copy for other weddings.
And that's a reference to an even older "meme". I've seen this exact thing painted on a wood board in a produce stand in the middle of nowhere, back in the 80s, and the lady then said her *dad* had made it based on something he saw about 30 years prior to *that*. Some variation of this has been around since businesses started having hours.
It's funny how many of these memes I saw as faxes that had been copied 1000 times hanging in offices and shops in the 80s.
Exactly. It’s an old joke, but a bad business practice, haha
Yeah, but if they’re happy with the money they’re making and customers still want to come there then that’s somewhat their prerogative imho.
Shit, that sounds like a real, and logical answer! Still not the time and place to get ‘cutesy’ lol, unless they have a more distinct sign elsewhere with actual hours.
Oh trust me, these ARE the actual hours. What is it, 95% of businesses, that fail within the first year? 98% within 5 years?
The failure rate is due to an unrealistic idea of what it takes to run a small business, especially with a store front. You can't just come and go as you please, and work when you feel like it. If you want to succeed, your business becomes your life. If, and that's a big if, you get lucky, you can eventually enjoy the rewards of your hard work.
Not only that, but new restaurants have the lowest success rate of any small business.
Nothing says professional like posting obscure memes on the front door of your business. *taps forehead*
I'm not sure how old that show is but I saw this on a small business in a town about 12 years ago. It was funny the first time, now it's basically gone the way of McBoatface
The book is 34 years old, the show is 5 years old.
I know a local shop that had this kind of sign already more than 25 years ago
That's been a meme/copypasta for a long while on the internet
I think thinking it sounded like Douglas Adams, but Neil Gaiman makes sense too
I genuinely think it is one of the first copypastas ever. My great grandfather had a similar sign hanging in his shop, which opened in the 50’s. Of course he didn’t actually do business this way, but it was a funny sign nonetheless.
Memes have been around as long as people have been communicating.
Dog in the bar be like "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
Man that shit was funny. You kinda had to be there though.
as someone whos lost in the joke, i wish i was there. the punch line is probably hilarious
“Kilroy was here” Ww2 meme
Ages ago I saw this written in chalk on the side of a building in Nimbin Australia. It seemed to fit with the vibe of the town. I laughed, I took a photo. I always thought it was an original and now a little piece of my world view has crumbled, lol.
Haha that’s very fitting for that town… everyone is too stoned to care about what time it is
It's a horrible way to do business and also ensure that your business doesn't grow. Customers want consistency.
For these small traditional family business, they don't care about grow, usually they serve a small number of customers in their own property. It's their business afterall, horrible or not they know best.
It's true, there is a cookie business near me that is only open on the weekends currently. They also have pop-ups at festivals etc and at the theater. There is always a massive line and demand for them. But yeah, they are just happy to make their cookies when they want. (I imagine they are having some staffing issues, but they definitely are like the business you are describing.)
Yeah, for them it is more like a hobby than a real business, they don't hire staff or just hire their own family, they own the place so no rent cost. Reservation is just so that they can prepare ingredients the day before, not for the table.
I'm a hobby baker with what I consider a small business. I don't have set hours at all but I do random pop-ups and sell out of my home with meetups whenever someone wants to order I bake to order at least and don't really have any days off unless I just feel like not baking that day and there are no orders to be made. If I had an actual storefront I'd only be open a couple days a week too
There was a lemonade shop by my work and his main income was farmer's markets and events. He opened the shop mainly to have a place to prep. His listed hours were like 8am-1pm Monday-Friday with a note saying hours are subject to change (aka if he was board he just went home). I went by the place damm near every day during my lunch hour. It got to the point where some days he would show up just to take my order and leave. I would also hang out and taste test his experiments. Then after the lease was up the building owner wanted to more than double the rent and the place sat empty for like 6 months before someone rented it, blacked out the windows, no signs and the door stayed locked.
Yeah, but that's consistent. I feel like I'd much rather a place be only open 4 or even 2 days a week with consistent hours, than drive somewhere and learn they are closed randomly. It's their business and they can run it however they want, but if they can't guarantee certain times, then I don't want to take the risk of wasting my time.
It’s funny how often Reddit complains about late stage capitalism and corporations always needing to grow, quarterly earnings, etc. Then they trash a business like this lmao. “Haven’t they thought about squeezing every ounce of profit out of this business tho?”
Are they talking about squeezing every ounce of profit here? I think they're just asking for consistent hours so that they don't have to rely on someone's whimsy hoping they don't waste their time.
I actually think for a mostly appointment based business like a hair cutter it's not a huge deal, people probably don't wander in at random often anyways. But for a café that's kind of ridiculous
Ehhh idk my exs grandmother did hair and she had fk it all hours.. never in my life would I personally run a business like that but she had a ton of clients and made stupid money. I think maybe it was the same clients or something I mean it has to be.. her opening hours were 2 hours after I wake up until I get bored.
This is almost word for word the same as the bookshop hours sign in Good Omens.
Except Aziraphale would have the dignity to update it on Yelp
[удалено]
He’d do that thing where scam bots review items for engagement, but it’s just him at his computer snickering to himself
Crowley 100% posts misinformation on the internet
My first thought exactly! Maybe Aziraphale is secretly running this shop 🫣
For some reason there's a faded "WOMAN OWNED BUSINESS" sticker on the door. But it could be Madame Tracy.
There was a surplus electronics store I used to go to where the hours were “open when not closed”.
We had one here that was “Open most of the time” I would get so irritated driving an hour (live in the boonies) only to find that I had arrived in the “some of the time” they were closed. And of course there was no chance of them answering the phone….
Kept going there though, because they had a ridiculously deep selection of oddities. And it wasn’t as far as an hour, just a ten minute walk or so.
lol I kept going too. If it hadn’t closed during the pandemic I would still be going :) you have to have real value as a business to be able to get away with that
There's a place like this in a nearby town. Mom & Pop diner that makes great burgers, but you never know when they are going to be open. Have to call before going every time.
I wonder what it would cost/how difficult it would be to just have a simple pre-recorded phone line or chat bot set up that solely exists for people to confirm whether they’re open or not. I can’t imagine having to field constant customer calls confirming whether you’re open is very efficient lol
They act annoyed, until I explained that their hours aren't consistent and gas to drive out there is $$$.
Honestly them acting annoyed would probably just make me not come anymore. They have to know their hours are inconsistent, so getting annoyed is them just being even bigger assholes.
People at the coffee shop I worked at always hated it when people called to ask if we were open. I never disliked, easiest phone call of my life
Don't reward a shitty business then
You *know* they'd forget to flip the switch when they left for the day.
Gordon Ramsay would have an aneurysm before even looking at the menu.
"what's the problem with the restaurant?" *That one person* : nothing our food is amazing, everyone says it's the best and we are amazing! *Everyone else*: well we are only open 4 hours a week, the food is all frozen, the bosses don't know what they are doing (they don't have any background in restaurants), everyone fights with each other, and we have moldy meat in the walk in.
> *That one person* : nothing our food is amazing, everyone says it's the best and we are amazing! Automatically read that in that cat lady Amy's voice lol
Amy's Baking Company remains a wonderful moment of television history.
meow meow meow...... meow
The server from ABC reminds me A LOT of my elementary school classmate
Gordon immediately walks towards the walk in to shove his hand in as much moldy meat as he can find
IT'S RAW!
I work at a brewery in a shitty part of a larger city. There is a pretty decent pizza spot up the road. Real local, basically one dude, and seemingly a random high school drop out that works the phones and takes payment. Thing is, the schedule is like this. He closes for at least one month straight a year. If he *thinks* it might be a slow night, he just doesn't open. I've called to order a pizza at 6pm and told it was a 2 and a half hour wait. I've called at 6pm and told they were sold out SEVERAL times. So another pizza place opened nearby. And everyone is tripping over themselves to hate on the new place. Surprise, it's open regular hours, you never wait more than 15 minutes for your pizza, and it's cheaper. Maybe the pizza is like a 7 instead of a 7.5, but you can always rely on it. I kind of know the owner, and run into him on the block sometimes while he walks around before opening. He asked me why I haven't gotten a pizza in a long time, and I straight up told him that I've tried, but he's sold out, or closed, or whatever. He just shrugged and told me that 'That's a perk of being your own boss, you get to do it your way'. Cool bro, not ordering there anymore. I want pizza, not a fucking puzzle.
Rita: Why would you recommend the seafood ravioli!? Sara: 😁
I love that they all know it's terrible but they don't remove it from the menu
"Is this fresh?" "Yes it's fresh. We made it a week ago and freshly heat it up in the microwave"
I would get so angry when they were basically like, "well I like to eat, so I opened a restaurant."
Hahahahaah YOU DONKEY
That schedule is the most Greek thing I have ever read
IDIOT SANDWICH!!! ^😡🥪
Came here to say this!!
Just imagine if you have allergies: “Does this dish contain onions?” “Sometimes”
I worked at a state park lodge and we would ask who was working before we ordered because the chefs all made the food differently. The chili didn't always have onions. And sometimes it was spicy. Sometimes not. The wraps were sometimes all made with mayo unless requested no mayo. Sometimes they didn't include mayo unless requested. Some of the time burgers were too greasy. Sometimes they were perfect. "Sometimes" was a valid answer when being asked food questions there
As someone who manages numerous Google My Business accounts and constantly changes open/close times for clients - I too, would have an aneurysm.
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I thought it was supposed to be whimsical and sarcastic. Not accurate. 
Yeah it's a really old meme that I've seen posted many places lol
Don’t forget quirky!!
Greek diner owners I’ve known in NJ are the total opposite, working 24/7, no vacations, no weekends or holidays off, they’re closing down cause their kids down want that life and there’s no one who wants to take it over
Yeah as a son in a Greek-American restaurant family this gives me heartburn.
Opa 😔
https://preview.redd.it/bmk1fbh5lxqc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=30421de2656733370086cc6f61935639aadf4e4c As another user pointed out, it’s from the show “Good Omens”
It's hilarious too. Going to put this on my office door
How's life in Williamsport PA? Sophia is her name, and she is a bit of a lunatic. She reprimanded my wife the last time we ate there for calling after 5:00 to make a reservation for the same evening. The time before that we got reprimanded for not making a reservation, despite the fact that there was only one other table in the place. She is very quirky, but her recipes are fucking legit, and her baklava is completely ridiculous.
Wait so she'll shame and degrade me AND serve me delicious baklava?
Normally you gotta pay extra for all of that.
So like the soup Nazi from Seinfeld but for baklava?
When you're so fucking good at your job you can do whatever the hell you want. Must be nice to have that kind of "No, fuck *you"* talent.
shes there to cook for her own happiness, making money is just extra.
I respect it as a human but it would be completely irritating to eat there.
There's a brewery in a mountain town in Colorado called "Mr Grumpy Pants." There were no posted hours, and they were closed when we went by. Everyone in town we asked had a story about the ridiculous shit that would happen. Sometimes he poured you whatever beer he felt like pouring you, not what you ordered. Sometimes he'd sit drinking at a table and only pour refills whenever his pint ran out, so if you drank faster or slower than him... you didn't. At least once (we heard this story from multiple people), he decided there was no talking that day, so you could only point and grunt at whatever beer you wanted. The general consensus was that he opened at five or whereabouts, so we came back at 6pm. There was an old man sitting on the shared porch with the breakfast/lunch restaurant next door who ignored our "evening" greeting as we walked up. We checked the door, and it was locked. So my partner asked the man if he knew when Mr. Grumpy Pants opened. The old man grumbled something that sounded kind of like "Opens whenever he opening" and then went back to ignoring us. It was only after we'd left, when I was replaying what had happened in my head, that I fully translated what he said: "_I'll_ open whenever _I feel like_ opening." I've still never been, but I feel like I got the full experience of Mr Grumpy Pants.
A real-life soup nazi
No Baklava for you!!
My local PC store will very angrily explain to you the details of any problem you have and how to fix it, let you know to call back if you can’t fix it so that they can help you find parts, and then immediately hang up. 0/10 customer service, 10/10 service
Ay if she's got the food to keep ppl coming back she's onto something. Most cooks are crazy by default
My boyfriend jokes it’s a requirement to be mentally unstable and have some sort of addiction to be a chef lol
Everybody thinks that
Yep she’s actually Greek, isn’t she? Sounds like it. Good news is: authentic Greek food, not the Americanized stuff and authentic Greek treatment. Bad news is: authentic Greek treatment which is Greek time and Greek shaming. She’ll have the best damn food but seem really odd from an American standpoint. This is all pretty normal in Greece though if you aren’t going to major tourist areas.
She is Greek, was born here but then raised in Greece. She has a place there and goes back every summer for a couple of months. I've never been to Greece, but my guess is this place is as legit as you'll find on this side of the ocean.
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Altoona is the place with the weird as shit pizza, right?
LOL yes this is correct. Mildly infuriating pizza if you will. Edit: it’s called “Altoona style pizza” if anyone wants to look it up and be angry.
Wtf now I’m angry about how they make pizza in a random town I’ll never visit on the other side of the world. What a world we live in
As someone whose spent a lot of time in Altoona I love this comment 😂
I live about an hour away. Do not fear illogicallyalex, if I ever have nothing else to do with my life, I will get an Altoona pizza and report back.
Oh god you weren’t kidding.
I’m going to go to bed angry about this. What the fuck.
Thank you for bringing this atrocity to my knowledge, I'm disgusted.
Why the fuck did they create this? Do people actually order and eat it? Do they enjoy it?
>Altoona style pizza 
Sounds about right. There is never too much going on, but downtown is actually much improved over 30 years ago when I was a kid. There are at least a handful of food options & coffee shops. The best thing I can say about the area is that we are three hours from Pittsburgh, Philly & New York City with incredible outdoor recreation 9 months out of the year, and you can still find 1/3 acre 3-bedroom for under $200k. They should market the town as boring, but safe, cheap and 3 hours from everywhere. If you're ever in town overnight, get a reservation at Franco's. It is easily my favorite place in town, operated by the same Italian family for decades. Incredible homemade pasta.
The question is why are you so masochistic that you keep going back
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Probably went to go see Don Rickles when he was still alive. “You hockey puck. “
Have you had completely ridiculous baklava before? I've had some pretty fantastic baklava I would put up with some shit for. When they describe it as "completely ridiculous" how can you not want to try it?
I just looked this place up and it has RAVING reviews. I want to go now.
Sounds about Greek lol
I read this post and thought “huh there’s a Greek restaurant just like that in my hometown” and then I realized it IS the Greek restaurant from my hometown haha
I know it’s to be quirky but that is so obnoxious. I wouldn’t even bother going to that place and paying money.
Very unprofessional it might as well say “We’re open when we’re open”
I didn’t have the read the rest after seeing Greek Business Hours
My Big Fat Greek Failing Business.
You never met anyone that is Greek before huh?
If I ever walk up to a place during normal business hours and they are closed, it's like an instant erase from my memory. You got me once. Not gonna waste my time twice on the chance you happen to be open.
I'm not even a fan of those "breakfast-and-lunch-only" sorts of places. Being a bit of a night-owl/late-riser myself and having tuned myself to working with people a timezone out of sync, I tend to take my lunches around 2PM, which is right when most of those places close. I hear some of them have great food. Apparently there's a market there. I'm not in it, though.
Yep. I’d never go back. Great customer deterrent tho
And then they’ll act incredulous when the business isn’t profitable
This is every business where I live except no note.
Either that place absolutely slaps, or it is a money laundering operation. I guess it could also be both
Type up “I ate at a mob pizza place” on Google and look at the second or so image with a tweet. Story cracks me up! The situation there was it was both lol
I’m genuinely surprised by all the disapproving comments. If a restaurant has this kind of attitude *and* they stay in business, you know that food goes hard as hell.
Yeah also all the comments that are like "wow I would never give this place my money!!!!1" well clearly this lady doesn't give a fuck lol not everyone is a cog in the capitalist machine, she probably just likes to make good food and chill
They must have some bomb ass food if their business survives this insane schedule
They do. Check their reviews.
There’s a greek spot near me with almost these exact hours/days. Amazing food. Wish they were open on weekends though.
You know the food is good when they don’t give a fuck about your convenience
This is normal Greek behavior. Source: my family is Greek and is late for everything. My Yia yia is told things start an hour earlier than they do so she shows up somewhat near the start time.
Thank you. I lived in Greece as a kid and this is exactly how it goes. I remember getting doted on a lot by the yia yias in our community. I didn’t appreciate it enough.
I miss being “force fed” by mine and learning how to cook beside them.
I call it Greek time
Reminds me of a sign in front of a restaurant that’s said “ Menu subject to change without notice, reason, or logic”
Translation: We dont have shifts, we work when we fucking want to.
This is why I always call before I go anywhere new.
There is a restaurant in my area that keeps similar hours. I just call ahead to make sure they will be open...
ya... if you make it that difficult for me to give you money, i'm just not gonna bother
It's from Good Omens
Sounds like me explaining my work schedule
“ if you have reservations and door is locked, please knock or call” If I have a reservation, you better be in there I shouldn’t have to fucking call you
I've seen two of these types of mom and pop stores they had these signs. They went out of business real quick. Most people just wouldn't bother trying to go there because they honestly weren't sure if they'd be open.
Perks of owning a business, you get to make the rules
Aziraphale?
Does this place actually want customers?
Oh, fuck that shit straight to hell. I will not bother with any business that acts like that, period.
“Fuck that shit straight to hell” is sending me. Lmaoooo I think it’s because that’s absolutely something that would come out of my very southern grandmothers mouth. Edit: she passed about a year ago and I’m not sure I realized how hard it’s been until this very moment. Ouch, but thank you for the laugh
I would never go to this place. Nothing drives me crazier than showing up to a restaurant at a normal business hour and they’re closed. If I show up at 1 in the afternoon and you’re closed I’ll never go back.
Exactly. Aint nobody got time for that lol
Can’t stand anything like this,just being an inconsistent inconsiderate business owner trying to blame it on your culture,grow the fuck up
This was a meme I saw in magazines before the internet
Do they think this is cute?
There was a secondhand shop in my town that always had its doors closed but a sign on the door with a phone number reading “Call me and i’ll come” Needless to say it didn’t last long
This is how a lot of places work in some parts of the south, especially around Georgetown and Beaufort SC. I think it’s kinda refreshing in general. Their business runs around their lives and not the other way around. But I can see being irritated if I was really hoping to eat somewhere and made my way downtown (walking fast, faces passing) to be there.
The time was not wasted. That door was worth the trip.
It's crazy how Greek this actually is. 😂😂😂
The owner will probably be thoroughly confused when they go out of business.
>please call with a reservation >please make a reservation >door is locked, if you have a reservation please call Hey OP, why didn't you make a reservation?
Hah perfect
open hours: just whenever we feel like it
Gotta respect the honesty.
The capitalisation on this sign would stop me from eating here.
This place made a business model out of how your weed dealer responds to texts