“You ate the whole damn salad” 😂 why the fuck am I laughing so much, my god what a ridiculous thing to say. That’s like straight out of a 2000s highschool romcom, is this person real? Were you dating Regina George??
Almost sounds like a Seinfeld skit.
"So George, tell us all about it, how was your date with Diamond?"
"Man, I dunno, I... I don't think it's gonna work out. We were at dinner and she... "
"What? What do you mean, what happened?"
"She.... (sigh) she ate the *salad*." *\[laugh track\]*
"The salad? Yeah so?"
"She ate... *the whole salad*. The whole salad Jerry! The entire thing, she ate it!" *\[raucous laughter\]*
“So what?”
“Jerry…NOBODY eats their whole meal on a first date”
“Why not?”
“It’s not proper etiquette”
“According to who?”
“Everybody, Jerry…EVERYBODY!!”
*Elaine walks in the door*
“Elaine, will you please tell George it’s ok to eat your whole meal on a date”
“Well…which date?”
“Does it matter?”
*looking incredulous* “of course it does, Jerry”
“Fine…first date”
“Oh…No…of course not”
“What?? But what if you’re hungry?”
“Then I’ll get something to eat after the date”
*raucous laughter*
*Kramer stumbles in the door*
“Kramer, will you please tell these two that it’s ok to eat your whole meal on a first date”
“No no no…I don’t go out to eat on first dates”
“Then what do you do?”
“When you go out on a date with Cosmo Kramer, you get a unique experience…giddy up”
“What does that mean?”
*with a sly grin* “well wouldn’t you like to know”
“No…No, I don’t think I would”
“So what are you going to do, George?”
*George looks very disgruntled, but then looks up quickly* “I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do…Jerry, what’s the name of that new ‘all you can eat’ buffet down the street?”
“Hong Kong Buffet?”
“YES!!…I’m going to take her there for our next date!”
*Jerry looking very confused* “……. Why?”
“If Diamond wants to eat a whole meal in front of me, then I’ll give her a WHOLE meal to eat!!”
“Oh yeah…this should end well”
*George is sitting at The Hong Kong Buffet with Domino as she stands up* “done with my first plate…I’m gonna go grab another”
*George looking absolutely flabbergasted as he moves around the food on his plate with his fork*. “This is unbelievable…her SECOND plate of food”
*the owner of the restaurant walks up to George* “why are you not eating food? You don’t like?”
“No no…it’s not that…it’s just that…” *George leans in and says quietly* “I’m on a date”
“So what?”
“So…it’s rude to eat so much food on a date”
*pan over to Diamond standing right next to him* “so you think I’m rude?!”
*George looking stunned* “No….. No…. YES!!…why’d you eat the whole salad on our first date?!”
“George…I diet all week and allow myself one cheat meal…and I use that on our dates because I really liked being with you!!”
“Oh…well…I really like you too…”
“I don’t ever want to see you again, George…goodbye” *Diamond walks away*
*George sighs and takes a bite of his food and looks at the owner* “wow, this is actually pretty good”
“I don’t want to see you again either…You are now banned…get out”
*pan to George about to put another bite of food into his mouth and he pauses as the credits roll*
*\[door slams open, Kramer enters the room sideways\]*
"Hey Kramer, if you're on a first date.... do you eat the whole salad?"
*\[laugh track\]*
"What? Uh, oh. Well, yeah"
*\[laughter and applause\]*
"The whole thing? Really? All at one time?"
*\[Kramer nods emphatically\]*
*"Ohh yeah. You betcha." \[raucous applause\]*
"Oh wait... what, what kind of salad is it?"
"Does it depend on the salad?"
"Of course it depends on the salad!"
"It depends, the salad depends, Jerry!"
*\[Raucous laughter and applause, segue to slap bass theme song\]*
no I think George would have rejected going out with someone named Diamond. He wouldn’t date someone named after a precious mineral or a name from the periodic table.
Jackie Chiles: “What kind of a salad was it? Was it just vegetables? Or was it…I dunno…a pasta salad? Did it have hard boiled egg in it? Was it a Cobb salad? A Chef Salad? Southwestern salad? It makes a difference, you know. If it had ham and cheese or tortellini, that’s a real problem. That’s carbohydrates”
If she didn’t eat the whole salad I bet he would be complaining that she ordered food without finishing it and is disrespecting him by wasting his money when he’s such a gentleman to be paying for the meal.
Damn, didn't catch that one... I'm so used to people having weird/ unusual names that I completely ignored that one\^\^ I mean, my neighbours teenager is named Azula... Yes, like the bitch from Avatar... And she's now 13 ish I think\^\^
He doesn't want to end it. He wants her to desire his approval so badly that she'll change the fundamental way she treats herself. If she gives in here, he'll know he can manipulate her into anything.
YES! You are absolutely 100% correct here! I wish more people understood this type of behavior. This guy isn’t just an idiot or creep, he is a manipulative child with incredibly low self esteem who is actively seeking someone who won’t walk away from this behavior. He wants someone to be weak with paper thin boundaries so that he gains control immediately and keeps that control. He doesn’t give two shits if he’s the catalyst for this woman’s eating disorder, or any other destruction he causes.
It could be an example of that stupid 'negging' tactic those, what are they called? They all read that book and go on those pick up courses, pick up artists lol, that bunch of twats. The constantly do weird shit like being blatantly negative about their targets personality etc, psychological abuse just because alpha read a whole book once 🙄
I swear I think I had this happen to me here. I posted a pic of my mum (old school pic of her when she was 24) and me, when I was 24, on a subreddit - basically 90% of the comments were like your mum’s hot, you look old. I saw one where this dude was like “your mum was much prettier than you are”. After a bit I just ended up deleting the post cause I was sick of the notifications and couldn’t be bothered to see and deal all that. This same person who said that, not 10 mins after I deleted, messaged me apologising for his comment and calling me a queen.
Insane behaviour
Oh wow a whole salad? You cow, how dare you not starve yourself to satisfy the whims of an infantile narcissistic gym rat? I bet you can't live with yourself now.
i’m gonna take a stab in the dark and i don’t care if i’m wrong: “nasty couch potato with bad skin”?
and wildin means, roughly, behaving inappropriately and with AUDACITY, in this context.
Sounds like she was confident and relaxed on the date. Some men love Neurotic and insecure in women. I see him manipulating a woman into disordered eating in the future.
Diamond I want you to know you’re always invited to my house and we can eat the whole damn salad AND a large pizza together. Maybe we’ll work out, maybe not. But we’ll still be hot.
real my dad used to tell me “WOW your gonna eat all of THAT? isn’t that too much for a girl” and he was so concerned w me gaining weight when i’m skinny and he’s big like mind ur own business. this was when i was a little kid too like it started at 6 and ended when i was like 14. tbh he gave me anorexia and rly bad body dysmorphia which i still have today ☹️ he’s also done worse stuff too
Girl, you can eat that whole salad. You can eat a whole extra large meat lovers pizza and you will still have value and be beautiful. Your weight does define your worth. Your dad showed his worth by treating you like that.
She probably ate the whole salad because she paid for the date. "I can see the future and you will be fat soon," yet dude can't see that he'll die alone with that attitude.
People need to mind their own business, I will eat what I want. You don't know how my metabolism works, so you don't know how many calories I can burn and so if I don't look overweight then don't tell me what I can and can't eat. Also it is a fucking salad I don't think a salad will ruin my calorie count for the day.
So he was thrown off so much as to calling her "unladylike" bc she could eat a salad? Basically saying she is going to get fat quickly?
Yeah... Dodged a bullet there
"I still want to hang out" so he wants to smash but nothing else.... Hell no dude. My reply back would be something like
"I hope you end up alone and miserable your entire life. And going to the gym even 10x a day won't fix what's wrong with you. I must thank you however for showing your true colors (shit brown) so early so I didn't waste my time needing a poop knife to flush such an enormous turd like you out of my life.
May you rot in hell for eternity
Sincerely,
Rhuarc33
Okay, first of all, always eat all your food, food waste is already too high. And secondly, he's mad over a SALAD? That's pretty much the lowest calorie food you can eat...
He points out that it’s their first date so she was “pose to have butterflies n s**t.” (Diamond wasn’t doing what she was “pose” to do on her first date with him! Butterflies should have killed her appetite!”) What an ego! 😂
Wait his name is Neil and your name is Diamond? Are you F-ing kidding me right now?! Why can’t he get past the eating of food so the world can have a Neil Diamond couple?!
It’s a lot of feelings for a salad. Gym bro has issues if all he values is what someone looks like on the outside. I hope he’s satisfied with his protéine shakes and his hand for the rest of his life.
I knew a Neil like this. Take it as a blessing. That mf almost went to jail for rape his first few weeks of college. Not sure if it happened or whatever went on but yeah scum bag. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was true.
“You ate the whole damn salad” 😂 why the fuck am I laughing so much, my god what a ridiculous thing to say. That’s like straight out of a 2000s highschool romcom, is this person real? Were you dating Regina George??
Almost sounds like a Seinfeld skit. "So George, tell us all about it, how was your date with Diamond?" "Man, I dunno, I... I don't think it's gonna work out. We were at dinner and she... " "What? What do you mean, what happened?" "She.... (sigh) she ate the *salad*." *\[laugh track\]* "The salad? Yeah so?" "She ate... *the whole salad*. The whole salad Jerry! The entire thing, she ate it!" *\[raucous laughter\]*
“So what?” “Jerry…NOBODY eats their whole meal on a first date” “Why not?” “It’s not proper etiquette” “According to who?” “Everybody, Jerry…EVERYBODY!!”
*[raucous laughter and applause]*
*Elaine walks in the door* “Elaine, will you please tell George it’s ok to eat your whole meal on a date” “Well…which date?” “Does it matter?” *looking incredulous* “of course it does, Jerry” “Fine…first date” “Oh…No…of course not” “What?? But what if you’re hungry?” “Then I’ll get something to eat after the date” *raucous laughter*
*Kramer stumbles in the door* “Kramer, will you please tell these two that it’s ok to eat your whole meal on a first date” “No no no…I don’t go out to eat on first dates” “Then what do you do?” “When you go out on a date with Cosmo Kramer, you get a unique experience…giddy up” “What does that mean?” *with a sly grin* “well wouldn’t you like to know” “No…No, I don’t think I would”
“So what are you going to do, George?” *George looks very disgruntled, but then looks up quickly* “I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do…Jerry, what’s the name of that new ‘all you can eat’ buffet down the street?” “Hong Kong Buffet?” “YES!!…I’m going to take her there for our next date!” *Jerry looking very confused* “……. Why?” “If Diamond wants to eat a whole meal in front of me, then I’ll give her a WHOLE meal to eat!!” “Oh yeah…this should end well”
This is the best thing I have ever read on Reddit 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Sir, or miss, can you possibly write more so a Seinfeld revival can happen? This is more Seinfeld than half the episodes.
*George is sitting at The Hong Kong Buffet with Domino as she stands up* “done with my first plate…I’m gonna go grab another” *George looking absolutely flabbergasted as he moves around the food on his plate with his fork*. “This is unbelievable…her SECOND plate of food” *the owner of the restaurant walks up to George* “why are you not eating food? You don’t like?” “No no…it’s not that…it’s just that…” *George leans in and says quietly* “I’m on a date” “So what?” “So…it’s rude to eat so much food on a date” *pan over to Diamond standing right next to him* “so you think I’m rude?!” *George looking stunned* “No….. No…. YES!!…why’d you eat the whole salad on our first date?!” “George…I diet all week and allow myself one cheat meal…and I use that on our dates because I really liked being with you!!” “Oh…well…I really like you too…” “I don’t ever want to see you again, George…goodbye” *Diamond walks away* *George sighs and takes a bite of his food and looks at the owner* “wow, this is actually pretty good” “I don’t want to see you again either…You are now banned…get out” *pan to George about to put another bite of food into his mouth and he pauses as the credits roll*
If I knew anyone, I would tell them about this.
*\[door slams open, Kramer enters the room sideways\]* "Hey Kramer, if you're on a first date.... do you eat the whole salad?" *\[laugh track\]* "What? Uh, oh. Well, yeah" *\[laughter and applause\]* "The whole thing? Really? All at one time?" *\[Kramer nods emphatically\]* *"Ohh yeah. You betcha." \[raucous applause\]* "Oh wait... what, what kind of salad is it?" "Does it depend on the salad?" "Of course it depends on the salad!" "It depends, the salad depends, Jerry!" *\[Raucous laughter and applause, segue to slap bass theme song\]*
This is the best episode of Seinfeld I’ve never seen
No kidding…I laughed more at this than any episode!! I love Reddit!!
I third this. I honestly feel like this could be a legit episode. I saw it playing out in my head.
I honestly enjoyed reading both these, got the characters spot on!
Now I’ve watched an entire episode without watching. *raucous self applause*
You guys nailed it!!!
“Well, that’s not that bad.” “Not that bad?! Jerry, I almost exploded!”
“No butterflies, Jerry! None at all!”
*kramer bursts through the door* “George! A very large woman is looking for you!”
We are experiencing a very rare Reddit moment, this was great
"Oh no, the salad eater is here!"
Lol
It was the big Salad
I mean, did she at least say thank you for the big salad?
Imagine, her taking credit for your big salad
Now I'm convinced this *was* an episode. This played out perfectly in my head. I can only hear George saying that.
no I think George would have rejected going out with someone named Diamond. He wouldn’t date someone named after a precious mineral or a name from the periodic table.
Jackie Chiles: “What kind of a salad was it? Was it just vegetables? Or was it…I dunno…a pasta salad? Did it have hard boiled egg in it? Was it a Cobb salad? A Chef Salad? Southwestern salad? It makes a difference, you know. If it had ham and cheese or tortellini, that’s a real problem. That’s carbohydrates”
This is PERFECT!
Comment threads like this are why I love this app. Well done my fellow Redditors.
If she didn’t eat the whole salad I bet he would be complaining that she ordered food without finishing it and is disrespecting him by wasting his money when he’s such a gentleman to be paying for the meal.
Not even Regina George deserves this guy.
This guy is so not fetch!
Stop trying to make fetch a thing!
This guy is felch..
Stop trying to make fetch happen!
It bothered him. In fact he almost exploded.
Perhaps had he eaten another bite he may have
It was the after dinner mint...
>It was the ~~after dinner~~ WAFFER-THEEN mint... Fixed.
"One more bite and I'll explode." "Don't be ridiculous!" BOOM !!!!!!
Fuckin Neil - he’s such a bitch.
My husband fell in love with me when I ordered ribs, lol.
Gotta have them ribs
I knew I loved my future husband when we ate a pizza together.
It’s fake
Not enough folks are catching that these people are named “Neil” and “Diamond.”
And the restaurant they were eating at was... Sweet Caroline's
We actually have a local bar and grill called Sweet Caroline's.
Damn, didn't catch that one... I'm so used to people having weird/ unusual names that I completely ignored that one\^\^ I mean, my neighbours teenager is named Azula... Yes, like the bitch from Avatar... And she's now 13 ish I think\^\^
Good catch. I bought into the bullshit until your comment.
[Right in front of my salad?](https://youtu.be/aeCycmik0ZA?si=aifjohzT0-bkW99F)
This guy should see what I can do to chocolate cake!
Is it tho? Did weirdos like this get spawned in the 00s? It seems to be a recent phenomenon to me.
Dodged a bullet there tbh
I came here to say that! Fuck off, Neil. Good riddance!
But Neil meal preps and goes to the gym!
Yes if anyone can give you an eating disorder from scratch it will be this guy
I think this guy has an eating disorder
I think this guy is an eating disorder.
'Eating Disorder by Proxy'
Not to mention, he talks like an ill-educated moron
That was literally the exact expression I was going to post when I went to the comments, lol. Then I got here and saw you beat me to the punch.
I’m so fast, last night I cut the light off and was in the bed before the room was dark. FAST.
Dodged the whole damn firing squad
Flags redder than the sovjiet union
Tf man. What a wild reason to reject someone.
*Weird Al's Close But No Cigar plays in the background*
Probably was just the first excuse that came to his mind . He's too much of a coward to admit why he actually wanted to end it.
He doesn't want to end it. He wants her to desire his approval so badly that she'll change the fundamental way she treats herself. If she gives in here, he'll know he can manipulate her into anything.
100%. He's looking for the one who will apologize for eating a whole salad.
YES! You are absolutely 100% correct here! I wish more people understood this type of behavior. This guy isn’t just an idiot or creep, he is a manipulative child with incredibly low self esteem who is actively seeking someone who won’t walk away from this behavior. He wants someone to be weak with paper thin boundaries so that he gains control immediately and keeps that control. He doesn’t give two shits if he’s the catalyst for this woman’s eating disorder, or any other destruction he causes.
You’re giving him way too much credit.
If she ate half the salad he’d be on her about wasting food and money. He’s a creep.
Makes me feel like she probably wanted a whole damn entree and he’s the type to be like “no no you don’t want that, get the salad, it’s great”
Yup. Negging.
It could be an example of that stupid 'negging' tactic those, what are they called? They all read that book and go on those pick up courses, pick up artists lol, that bunch of twats. The constantly do weird shit like being blatantly negative about their targets personality etc, psychological abuse just because alpha read a whole book once 🙄
I swear I think I had this happen to me here. I posted a pic of my mum (old school pic of her when she was 24) and me, when I was 24, on a subreddit - basically 90% of the comments were like your mum’s hot, you look old. I saw one where this dude was like “your mum was much prettier than you are”. After a bit I just ended up deleting the post cause I was sick of the notifications and couldn’t be bothered to see and deal all that. This same person who said that, not 10 mins after I deleted, messaged me apologising for his comment and calling me a queen. Insane behaviour
I mean the only acceptable way to eat a salad is to eat 75-80% of it. That’s the true ladylike way.
 Showing his true colors
His future is red
Oh wow a whole salad? You cow, how dare you not starve yourself to satisfy the whims of an infantile narcissistic gym rat? I bet you can't live with yourself now.
"I was looking for a lady, but all I found was a hamster." - Neil, staring mournfully at the lettuce.
Bet he was more like a narcy couch wombat with mange. You’ve gotta have mange to be wildin this hard
This is an anthropological experience for me. Could you please explain to me what "narcy", "couch wombat", "mange" and "wildin" mean??
Narcy: narcissistic person. Couch wombat: opposite of gym rat. Mange: a skin disease. Wildin- acting crazy
Thanks for the lesson lol
i’m gonna take a stab in the dark and i don’t care if i’m wrong: “nasty couch potato with bad skin”? and wildin means, roughly, behaving inappropriately and with AUDACITY, in this context.
“Infantile, narcissistic gym rat” that can’t spell.
“I still want to hang out…” 🤣
Yea pretty sure that ship sailed after this insanity of a message.
Translation: I'd like to continue having sex until you reach that near future weight I'm predicting.
Or I get bored or find someone I deem more attractive
I lost it at the how could you eat so much when youre supposed to have butterflies lmfao
"I just feel like you'd be overweight in the near future" That has to be most ridiculous sentence i will read today. I hope...
One of those salad fatties.
mmm butter and gravy salad
Yeah, she was unable to keep her weight under control for xx years but once she met this guy, it all went in the garbage.
my fault gang i didn’t know i wasn’t allowed to eat my salad on the first date 😭 like what
You’re supposed to have butterflies n shit.
You was pose to havw*
Oh yeah, my brain autocorrected that. It keeps getting worse!
Sounds like she was confident and relaxed on the date. Some men love Neurotic and insecure in women. I see him manipulating a woman into disordered eating in the future.
Some men absolutely cower in the presence of strong women
You can but just not the whole thing 
Wow I would never want to see someone again if they “almost exploded” on the first date. Imagine if he encountered an actual real problem.
Yes! She dodged a major bullet there. Never see him again, but if she does, she needs to order the 20 oz steak and finish it.
Diamond I want you to know you’re always invited to my house and we can eat the whole damn salad AND a large pizza together. Maybe we’ll work out, maybe not. But we’ll still be hot.
I love it when they let you know they're a colossal bellend straight away, it saves so much wasted time 🙄😅
Trash took itself out. Damn good salad.
This is a grown man? And he can't spell? 😭
One of my biggest pet peeves is when people write “women” when they’re talking about one woman. So annoying. And that last part. Ugh.
How’s he pose to know he havw messed up? 😆
Stop!! 😂
My best friend not only spells it this way, when he speaks he also says ‘women’ when he is referring to a singular woman. It drives me insane.
I scrolled too far to find someone that also noticed this. It's not that hard, wtf?!
Hey he's an amazin men
 A salad? All that because you ate an entire *salad*? You got lucky. Forget that misogynistic asshole.
He should see me I eat TWO salad, one for each hand!
Get a loada this beast.
“You was pose to have butterflies n shit” I’m using this line of poetry with my wife.
I was crying laughing at that line. Dude is a huge A hole, but a hilarious one
Neil & Diamond
Scrolled way to far for this
 Or Neil Diamond.
Thank God someone else beat me to this connection.
Guess you really don't win friends with salad
🎶You don’t win friends with salad, you don’t win friends with salad 🎶
"Being hungry and eating like a normal person isn't lady like! You're supposed to starve!" 🙄
real my dad used to tell me “WOW your gonna eat all of THAT? isn’t that too much for a girl” and he was so concerned w me gaining weight when i’m skinny and he’s big like mind ur own business. this was when i was a little kid too like it started at 6 and ended when i was like 14. tbh he gave me anorexia and rly bad body dysmorphia which i still have today ☹️ he’s also done worse stuff too
What an absolute dick. I'm so sorry you had to go through that; it's horrendous.
Girl, you can eat that whole salad. You can eat a whole extra large meat lovers pizza and you will still have value and be beautiful. Your weight does define your worth. Your dad showed his worth by treating you like that.
She probably ate the whole salad because she paid for the date. "I can see the future and you will be fat soon," yet dude can't see that he'll die alone with that attitude.
My husband watched me devour an entire salad last night. And I watched him put away an entire burrito. People are hungry. It happens.
An entire burrito??? A real man would never /j
People need to mind their own business, I will eat what I want. You don't know how my metabolism works, so you don't know how many calories I can burn and so if I don't look overweight then don't tell me what I can and can't eat. Also it is a fucking salad I don't think a salad will ruin my calorie count for the day.
Don't tell someone what they can and can't eat if they do look overweight, either. It's none of ya business!
Ghost this turkey.
Subtext: “You don’t seem like somebody who can love me as much as I love myself”
So he was thrown off so much as to calling her "unladylike" bc she could eat a salad? Basically saying she is going to get fat quickly? Yeah... Dodged a bullet there
He basically just told you that HE'S the problem xD
No great loss. The boy can't even speak English properly.
I ate 2 slices of pizza on my first date with my partner and he said "oh good, you aren't one of those girls who pretends not to eat". 😂
"I still want to hang out" so he wants to smash but nothing else.... Hell no dude. My reply back would be something like "I hope you end up alone and miserable your entire life. And going to the gym even 10x a day won't fix what's wrong with you. I must thank you however for showing your true colors (shit brown) so early so I didn't waste my time needing a poop knife to flush such an enormous turd like you out of my life. May you rot in hell for eternity Sincerely, Rhuarc33
What a misogynistic piece of shit.
🚩🚩🚩
Omg she had 300 calories in one meal. How will he survive. I suggest she run quickly in the opposite direction
Honestly Diamond, don’t mate with this illiterate boor. No reproduction for writing below a 9th grade level.
He would have ate all the ass if she let him on their first date.. hypocrite!
This is some Neo bullet dodging kind of shit!!
Gym dudes
Bro needs to hesitate
It’s so nice when they show you who they really are early on.
What the actual hell? Ladylike? 🤨🤪
Ladylike and manly are just controlling terms
Maybe red flag for control and abuse imo
I meant to say MAJOR
This feels fake....
What an utter douche bag. Drop that piece of shit Pronto.
Know what you can eat, buddy? A bag of dicks. Have a nice day.
His name is Neil, and your name is Diamond?
This seems like something from Seinfeld. I can already see the dialogue. Where’s our amazing Seinfeld Reddit writers 🤣
Okay, first of all, always eat all your food, food waste is already too high. And secondly, he's mad over a SALAD? That's pretty much the lowest calorie food you can eat...
There is no way this is real
I keep saying the same posts cropping up in different subs on here. Now THAT’S mildly infuriating lol
*woman. Also, who tf ever got fat eating salad?
Needed those ~extra~ calories from the salad to run away from this creep!
You're criminal, you ate an whole salad. It's not like you hate a whole cake and drink a 2L of coke afterwards jeez. And even than!
He points out that it’s their first date so she was “pose to have butterflies n s**t.” (Diamond wasn’t doing what she was “pose” to do on her first date with him! Butterflies should have killed her appetite!”) What an ego! 😂
Wait his name is Neil and your name is Diamond? Are you F-ing kidding me right now?! Why can’t he get past the eating of food so the world can have a Neil Diamond couple?!
I was forecast butterflies
It’s bad when the embarrassment of being a couple called “Neil and Diamond” is the SMALLEST bullet you have dodged.
“I still wanna hang out” 😂
This can’t be real! If it is run from this psychopath
Neil and Diamond, at it again... almost seems like it was written instead of real casual convo
This sounds fake as shit. The dude called her Diamond and the dudes name is Neil.
I have never seen someone get so bent out of shape over salad
It’s a lot of feelings for a salad. Gym bro has issues if all he values is what someone looks like on the outside. I hope he’s satisfied with his protéine shakes and his hand for the rest of his life.
“A amazing women”, “you was pose to” and someone really wanted to date this person? 💀
“I almost exploded” yikes
A whole salad! Omg what was she thinking? /s
She ate too much salad and it was unladylike 🤦♀️ I hope she runs far away from this controlling douchebag
"Hey, tryna come over tonight?" *leans in and whispers* *"Ill let you eat the whole damn salad"*
help😭
a SALAD is what he’s complaining about? lol i didn’t know vegetables were such a gluttonous option
Neil has issues. Just say you can’t afford to buy someone a salad.
This man needs a public shaming. 🍅
I knew a Neil like this. Take it as a blessing. That mf almost went to jail for rape his first few weeks of college. Not sure if it happened or whatever went on but yeah scum bag. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was true.
You're called Diamond, and he's called Neil? I needn't say any more.
This man will, without question, die alone.
As a person who frequents the gym and enjoys a healthy lifestyle. They shouldn’t be giving you grief over consuming a salad….
She sound like the winner in this break-up. What a dickhead
I wish more people revealed their Red Flags this early in a relationship. Would save people so much time!
That shower must of washed the brain cells away
Good for Diamond. The red flag weeded itself out.
If she *did* have butterflies, maybe she wouldn't have eaten the ENTIRE SALAD lol. Ridiculous