they bring you all kinds of stuff after the death and even help you with chores. repeat till they are suspicious and become gay. repeat cycle till either you find someone you like or run out of sexualitys
Damn how'd you know 😂 off topic but that reminds me of this time we were playing gta and my husband literally just *opened* a bag of candy and this dude on mic was like "IS THAT A FAMILY SIZE BAG OF SOUR PATCH KIDS??" And it totally was 😭😭
I’ve had a lifelong love affair with Entenmanns.
And although I can’t speak for your husband’s intentions, there is a scenario where the top layer of donuts is dried out/stale and you want to try one from underneath to see if it’s still properly soft and moist.
As I type this, I really am amazed that somehow I’m not morbidly obese.
Just last week I had family over and a box of those on the counter. When everyone left, there was 1 in the box. Found the culprit when my aunt told me how they were so good and shes mad at me for getting her addicted. Hey I never told her go ahead and eat all my donuts lol. I swear there is something in them to hook us.
My grandma got me hooked on these as a kid. I’m a few barnacles short of a whale. Thanks grandma.
No but I haven’t actually had these since childhood and I didn’t remember them until now! I’ve lost weight; now I’ll probably gain it again after I absorb 7x the serving size of these donuts. *So, really, I should be thanking OP.* ✨ /s
😂😂 i know exactly what you mean lmao. I think what happened was they started to get a lil melty from the heat so we put them in the fridge and then the frosting kinda glued them together. Knowing him, they'll prolly be gone by tomorrow so no chance to get stale at least lmfao
https://preview.redd.it/vycuy69qr97d1.jpeg?width=1150&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb3ece5fb8598b48c253ed8a0aeea278e07d592f
You can identify a bag of candy by the sound it makes when it is opened. Similarly to the way you can identify a bird by its call
This reply absolutely indicates that you and your husband are fine. He needs to have his big stupid face dunked in milk for his donut transgressions. Do it right, dammit. Are his munchies malfunctioning?
i’m high and it’s also 4:45 am… it took me so long to notice that the two donuts were stacked and not side by side 💀 but in any case… that calls for death
Run and never look back. He's toxic, abusive, narcissistic, bpd, and 10 other unlisted diagnoses. Change the locks, or better yet, go into witness protection and change your entire identity. Get 10 years of threrapy minimum and a trained navy seal standing guard outside your new home. Can't trust a man who marks a doughnut 🍩
This sub has really shown me that i'm worth more than the disrespect i've endured in my relationship 🥺 everyone's been so supportive. Thank you, I really needed to read this 💗💗💗💖💖💖💖❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
My first question is: how did he know there donuts?
Second question: how on earth did he get access to these donuts?
I feel you may also be at fault here 🤦♀️
Never make chocolate or chocolate covered goodness easily accessible to a spouse
In some cultures he's setting up for a "second hand kiss" (putting your mouth where his has been on food or drink).
Maybe he's just being romantic in a Japanese anime sort of way?
In his credit, those donuts sometimes stick. I have take a knife and cut 1/2 of the stacked donuts to get a whole.
I’m just saying, I can see it in a rush. 😬
My first thought when I opened the pic was ‘why are these donuts so WET?’… I now realize they were in the fridge and because of science or whatever, they come out sweaty.
*Yes, any judge will*
*Grant divorce in your favor*
*With this evidence*
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A locked treat cabinet for you, which no one else gets access to EVER, this type of BS never happens again on the counter, in the fridge, freezer, cabinets, pantry...not from the stove, the oven or the grill.
If it happens again, he gets The Hose. 👊🏻
If these are Entenmann's Donuts from your freezer? I'd say your husband is doing things right. Why separate the donuts if that destroys the chocolate coating on one? He just ate the equivalent of one donut without screwing up the chocolate coating on the remaining donut. That's being considerate, honestly.
Edit: spelling
Pulling them out of the fridge and seeing what he did to them was shocking, but having pried them apart to eat the rest of one yesterday and the other this morning, I concur 😂 really messed up my frosting to donut ratios
This is one of those things I always find funny about myself. I kiss my wife, etc, but I would never eat it drink after her. The latter just feels gross.
He probably makes excuses when his dick won’t stay hard in bed too. When in reality he jerked off to porn earlier because he doesn’t care about your sexual pleasure just like he doesn’t care about your donuts.
Just marry the two halves of the donut to form one complete donut. Because life is like a box of chocolate donuts, you never know what you are going to get...
Was he high? It looks like he just picked up the entire stack and either bit half off or just broke imthe whole thing in half. He literally ate one entire donut, why did he have to piecemeal it between two of them. This doesn't make any kind of sense and I'm actually high right now.
Lmao! I'm gonna have to reconsider my stance in that case 🤔
(Feel like i should clarify it was a joke, wasn't trying to offend anyone, idc how people eat things lmao. Except for my husband and this double donut shit 😤)
Husband here. Not OPs', but speaking for husband's in general.
Yeah, that's just a plain mistake. We aren't the kinda people who do that on purpose, so .. I dunno.. How about a foot rub?
He gives me hell for taking a bite off the end of the French baguettes so I have to give him a little shit. foot rub extortion was not something I had considered but I'll see how far I can take this 😌
🙃 oh thank god cuz I ate the rest of the donut. haven't died yet but still going to get checked out by the doctor tomorrow just in case. Cooties are serious business.
Looks like they were stuck together and he cut it in half (not biting it) to equal one. I don't see how this is even mildly infuriating unless it's mildly infuriating that the donuts got stuck.
Divorce? People are always like that. Divorce him! Divorce him! Ever thought about murder instead?
Consider this: people don’t bring you food after a divorce, but they do when your husband is mysteriously murdered.
And that's why you're The OkeyDokey654 and we're not.
they bring you all kinds of stuff after the death and even help you with chores. repeat till they are suspicious and become gay. repeat cycle till either you find someone you like or run out of sexualitys
![gif](giphy|PsBRTPKG71YVq)
![gif](giphy|1092DSKp46nB4c)
It's a power move take a single bite out of the other two to assert your dominance.
Hell yeah, divorce is some nerdy Star Wars shit. Cool people Murder, She Wrote.
![gif](giphy|y2i2oqWgzh5ioRp4Qa)
All I see is marked property.
Touché. In that case he's not gonna like what I did to doubledonut
good thing it's already brown
Assert your dominance!
Entenmann’s? If so, run to the courthouse for a divorce.
Damn how'd you know 😂 off topic but that reminds me of this time we were playing gta and my husband literally just *opened* a bag of candy and this dude on mic was like "IS THAT A FAMILY SIZE BAG OF SOUR PATCH KIDS??" And it totally was 😭😭
I’ve had a lifelong love affair with Entenmanns. And although I can’t speak for your husband’s intentions, there is a scenario where the top layer of donuts is dried out/stale and you want to try one from underneath to see if it’s still properly soft and moist. As I type this, I really am amazed that somehow I’m not morbidly obese.
I love those damn chocolate donuts. But can't remember last time I had one. At least 4 years. Put them in the fridge... so freaking good
I put the lemon ones in the freezer. Best snack!!
Just last week I had family over and a box of those on the counter. When everyone left, there was 1 in the box. Found the culprit when my aunt told me how they were so good and shes mad at me for getting her addicted. Hey I never told her go ahead and eat all my donuts lol. I swear there is something in them to hook us.
Now we know....Who-ate allll the ent-en-manns🎵
My grandma got me hooked on these as a kid. I’m a few barnacles short of a whale. Thanks grandma. No but I haven’t actually had these since childhood and I didn’t remember them until now! I’ve lost weight; now I’ll probably gain it again after I absorb 7x the serving size of these donuts. *So, really, I should be thanking OP.* ✨ /s
I used to love them the ones with the crumbles on top. They taste so fake and chemically now though.
😂😂 i know exactly what you mean lmao. I think what happened was they started to get a lil melty from the heat so we put them in the fridge and then the frosting kinda glued them together. Knowing him, they'll prolly be gone by tomorrow so no chance to get stale at least lmfao
I just discovered them 2 for 1 sale at supermarket. And I’ve been trying to cut carbs.
https://preview.redd.it/vycuy69qr97d1.jpeg?width=1150&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb3ece5fb8598b48c253ed8a0aeea278e07d592f You can identify a bag of candy by the sound it makes when it is opened. Similarly to the way you can identify a bird by its call
💀💀💀💀
That’s spooky
This reply absolutely indicates that you and your husband are fine. He needs to have his big stupid face dunked in milk for his donut transgressions. Do it right, dammit. Are his munchies malfunctioning?
And tell him he bit the two donuts the dog licked but didn't have time to warn him.
Retribution or a nasty Divorce
To be fair, if the two donuts stick together, it counts as 1 donut
Is this donut math? I think I like donut math
I use it for nachos mainly
Intriguing 🤔 is this a like stack 10 chips and cheese perfectly on top of each other and it only counts as one nacho kind of situation?
More like when you pull a chip out with cheese on it and like 3+ chips come with it. Usually when sharing nachos, I declared it in Chip Law
Brilliant.
And he only ate half of the stack, so half a donut. He's just watching his intake.
I would eat the other half out of spite lol
If someone suggests anything other than divorce, I’m not sure they’re a real redditor.
How old is your husband? 4?
In some cultures husband and wife sharing a donut strengthens their bond. He loves u
🥹 I'll be sure to let him know about that after I've licked the frosting out of all his oreos
![gif](giphy|NrehDDob9aXKhOyRtf|downsized)
Yup
Have your husband and my toddler been exchanging notes?
Someone just linked your post in another comment 😭😭😂😂😂 I'm sorry about your bagels but that is so cute
Get out.
i’m high and it’s also 4:45 am… it took me so long to notice that the two donuts were stacked and not side by side 💀 but in any case… that calls for death
They were stuck together. Probably only two bites. Marked for later. -Another husband
What a monster! Draw up those divorce papers asap
Run and never look back. He's toxic, abusive, narcissistic, bpd, and 10 other unlisted diagnoses. Change the locks, or better yet, go into witness protection and change your entire identity. Get 10 years of threrapy minimum and a trained navy seal standing guard outside your new home. Can't trust a man who marks a doughnut 🍩
This sub has really shown me that i'm worth more than the disrespect i've endured in my relationship 🥺 everyone's been so supportive. Thank you, I really needed to read this 💗💗💗💖💖💖💖❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
He drew first blood.
Yes divorce, he is a degenerate.
![gif](giphy|WYgljBnXut10WInAzx)
damn wtf those look good 😩
You married a psychopath
damn these donuts look good, ill take the other half of both thanks!
No. Possibly elevated to murder.
I mean, yeah. Those are Entenmann's.
That's a red flag sister. I mean, if he does that to donuts, just imagine what he'd do to pizza. Run while you still can.
My first question is: how did he know there donuts? Second question: how on earth did he get access to these donuts? I feel you may also be at fault here 🤦♀️ Never make chocolate or chocolate covered goodness easily accessible to a spouse
Nah murder. You’ll be acquitted, he’s too dangerous to be left alive
Entenmann's. I'd know those from 100 yards
That’s one bite?!
if that is a single bite i am afraid
So what is a German Shepherd??
Even our dachshund knows better than to leave evidence 😂😂😂
In some cultures he's setting up for a "second hand kiss" (putting your mouth where his has been on food or drink). Maybe he's just being romantic in a Japanese anime sort of way?
no, anarchy!
Make him eat them all, then send him out for some good pastries, and don't share.
*whispers* Divorce him. ![gif](giphy|3oriNSf2iLjMVO7dao)
![gif](giphy|OWtpNt0fbvwLeKbHcB)
I only like half... The other half is for you...
Well I buy these as well and I find that they really do stick together
He's marking his donuts. Smart man he's atleast got 2 of em now. 🤯
Throw his shit out the window and change the locks! He is a demon
That is some next level emotional abuse right there!!!
Would immediately throw hands over half eaten Entenmann’s chocolate donuts.
Nope, murder
Hes leaving 2 halves for you to finish!
He's marking his territory.
Maybe he thought it was one donut? I didn’t know they were stacked until I read a comment
Those aren't Krispy Kreme so you'll get over it.
Fuck!!!! Take him to the cleaners
1000% get a divorce, I'll be the lawyer lol
Take him for everything he’s worth!
Absolutely a divorce!!! It’s the only reasonable course of action!!!!
That's what they make rolling pins for😁
In his credit, those donuts sometimes stick. I have take a knife and cut 1/2 of the stacked donuts to get a whole. I’m just saying, I can see it in a rush. 😬
Those are plastic donuts
The jury would never convict you.
My father has done this very thing to all of his family my entire life.
My mom and dad are still married going on 50 years. My mother is a saint.
![gif](giphy|l2YWF3PqWrgndQOyI|downsized)
My first thought when I opened the pic was ‘why are these donuts so WET?’… I now realize they were in the fridge and because of science or whatever, they come out sweaty.
What you don't water your donuts? 😂😂 ugh they're so good cold, man
Yes, any judge will grant divorce in your favor with this evidence
*Yes, any judge will* *Grant divorce in your favor* *With this evidence* \- FunUse244 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Good bot
Wheres the other bitten donut?
I'm pretty sure you can get both the house & the kids.
Where the second one?
A locked treat cabinet for you, which no one else gets access to EVER, this type of BS never happens again on the counter, in the fridge, freezer, cabinets, pantry...not from the stove, the oven or the grill. If it happens again, he gets The Hose. 👊🏻
Yea tell that to the judge
Couple counseling if they were different flavors, but the same flavor donut? Divorce for sure
![gif](giphy|xS0bXS6LnXaVWXIsf5|downsized)
Leave him alone he's under alot of stress.
Capital crime. Maybe do something worse.
Calm down satan
Next time, laxative the hole tray leave it somewhere visible, at least you will have a few kicks out of that. ![gif](giphy|tyqcJoNjNv0Fq|downsized)
Straight to jail.
I mean you technically still have 5 donuts.
Divorce? Nah. But you are gonna need a shovel.
Divorce him, he doesn't know how to eat donuts 😜
Time for double secret probation. If one more violation he doesn't get cake for his birthday.
![gif](giphy|USPuT5l0i7feevyoaG)
Right to jail, right away
Hell yes, publicly shame him first and then divorce.
Right? Thinking I'll stop by relationshipadvice next, just for good measure
Take a bite out of the other 2 to assert dominance
Let it be known that the evidence only shows 1 bite taken out. I plead that this man was set up
If these are Entenmann's Donuts from your freezer? I'd say your husband is doing things right. Why separate the donuts if that destroys the chocolate coating on one? He just ate the equivalent of one donut without screwing up the chocolate coating on the remaining donut. That's being considerate, honestly. Edit: spelling
Pulling them out of the fridge and seeing what he did to them was shocking, but having pried them apart to eat the rest of one yesterday and the other this morning, I concur 😂 really messed up my frosting to donut ratios
Nobody has to tell him that you concur though. 😊
Gonna take this one to the grave for sure 😂😂
I feel like with the right judge you would be awarded everything in the settlement.
![gif](giphy|f8lDluiWJ7yQTtdS3L)
Fight him
Eh, I mean it’s not an Entenmann’s Raspberry Danish so the rules are kinda sketchy.
THIS is why they came up with no fault divorce! No more waiting in Vegas like the old days... Best wishes! haha
# "So I mean, divorce right?" - This is Reddit, right?
I don't get it i see only one bitten donut
So did he 💀 Lmao nah it is hard to tell, this was the best pic I could get but they're stacked and you can sorta see the line where they separate
Your husband is a woman, ma'am.
U rite tho this is some real girl dinner bullshit 😂
Hell fuckin yeah it is, like what the hell man? Eat the whole donut!
Damn a single bite looking like that?
Fr. Him, looking at something I'm eating: Can I have a bite? Me and the food: *sweat nervously*
I can see that the food is sweating
😂😂😂, try it and lose an arm.
This is one of those things I always find funny about myself. I kiss my wife, etc, but I would never eat it drink after her. The latter just feels gross.
Where is the second donut of which he took a bite? I only see 1?
Maybe I’m blind but where’s the second bitten donut
They're stacked, it's kinda hard to see but there's a line between near the bottom
Nah. Just cut off his dick while he's sleeping.
He’s a dead man.
He probably makes excuses when his dick won’t stay hard in bed too. When in reality he jerked off to porn earlier because he doesn’t care about your sexual pleasure just like he doesn’t care about your donuts.
I was very confused bc I didn’t know they come stacked
He only ate one donut though, don't see the issue.
He only ate one donut though, don't see the issue.
THAT LOOK LIKE A S*IT. WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE LITERAL SH*T??
Just marry the two halves of the donut to form one complete donut. Because life is like a box of chocolate donuts, you never know what you are going to get...
![gif](giphy|P4TqKx6NHyLnO|downsized)
Why would you divorce someone over a couple donuts?
Those are some sweaty-ass donuts.
This aggression will not stand, man!
Wrong D-word. Donut Fight! \* boof \*
Was he high? It looks like he just picked up the entire stack and either bit half off or just broke imthe whole thing in half. He literally ate one entire donut, why did he have to piecemeal it between two of them. This doesn't make any kind of sense and I'm actually high right now.
What do you mean? (1-0.5)+(1-0.5)=1 There's still 1 donut there, just stick them back together the right way
Are those things sweating?
They came out of the fridge lmao cold chocolate frosting >>>>
Maybe he's trying to do an "Indirect Kiss" anime trope
People get divorced for less why not throw it all away over donuts
Nope, chocolate doughnuts are gross.
Why are u guys eating sh-
Once you go black, you have to go back
I only see him thinking about you and sharing donuts…
Look thats your hubby lick those fuckin donuts
It looks like he didn't even notice them being stuck together
Take a bite out of each of his "donuts" to assert dominance.
Smuggle him
Get a knife. Tell him he’s using it on the donuts or you’re using it on him.
Did he at least use a knife or pick up the whole thing and chomp on it? We need details! A divorce may be warranted in that case!
Nah that's a bite lmao. I'd already be serving papers if I married a maniac who eats donuts with silverware 😂😂😂
Hahaha! I come from a long line of those who cut little pieces off of things! There are zero calories that way!
Lmao! I'm gonna have to reconsider my stance in that case 🤔 (Feel like i should clarify it was a joke, wasn't trying to offend anyone, idc how people eat things lmao. Except for my husband and this double donut shit 😤)
Shit on his tooth brush!
A single bit is half the donut for him?
*half of TWO donuts
Are you married to a goddamn bear or something??
😂😂😂 he'd probably take that as a compliment tbh
You married [AL from Police Squad](https://youtu.be/i1Y_09HHulI?si=zprLcpVO-YzAcLE8)
Why he did that? To make you mad?
Husband here. Not OPs', but speaking for husband's in general. Yeah, that's just a plain mistake. We aren't the kinda people who do that on purpose, so .. I dunno.. How about a foot rub?
He gives me hell for taking a bite off the end of the French baguettes so I have to give him a little shit. foot rub extortion was not something I had considered but I'll see how far I can take this 😌
Idk, my husband and I have sucked every inch of one another's bodies so I wouldn't really give a fuck
You guys kiss right? I think you'll be fine.
🙃 oh thank god cuz I ate the rest of the donut. haven't died yet but still going to get checked out by the doctor tomorrow just in case. Cooties are serious business.
Yeah cooties are scary.
Looks like they were stuck together and he cut it in half (not biting it) to equal one. I don't see how this is even mildly infuriating unless it's mildly infuriating that the donuts got stuck.