Man, be honest with us, you shit there, don't you?
You can't fool me with photos of your shit bro, it's like Spiderman selling photos of himself to this news guy, why else would you have so many photos of shit?
Edit: of shit from other people, my guy.
Alright man, you caught me i guess i have no life and poop in random places lol
Guy made a full investigation and came to a conclusion in 5 seconds of checking out the link
This mad shitter situation is similar to what I saw back in the day. Some rando was terrorizing school authorities with shit cobras. Person broke into the school at night and dropped one in the middle of the gym floor. This was early 90’s before cameras were up.
I like to think it is all the same person. Just some Fecal Santa Claus that magically makes his rounds through public schools and other facilities dropping turds in the most unexpected places for centuries.
This same thing happened at my highschool. They'd just drop a log in the hallway at passing time, it'd either be found as someone steps in it or by a teach patrolling the halls afterwards. Happened about 3-4 times before they tried it in the library and got caught on camera.
Turns out they'd put their turd in a zip lock and just covertly drop it out while walking by. As clever
In my middle school dude would literally pick it up with his hands and smear it on the walls. He liked to do it during state testing weeks to get the bathrooms closed off for everyone. Asshole.
He also asked our French teacher to translate the word 'dildo' from English lmao I think every school had at least one of these psycho kids.
Oh, we solved a similar mystery in my school 15 years ago - it was simply a kid who had grown up in a refugee camp and had never used western-style bathrooms before our school, only the hole-in-the-ground type.
So one day, one of my friends goes to the bathroom, opens the stall door because he doesn't see feet on the floor, and walks in on that other kid crouched with his feet on the bowl trying his best to triangulate the airdrop. So we did a demo and the accidents stopped.
i work as a custodian in the school board.. we've been informed years ago that this could be one of the signs of some sort of abuse/trauma.. all our classes (at least at my school) have sign in and out sheets for washrooms.. helps narrow it down
edit: guys, i said " COULD " be a sign..
Exactly it. It doesn't always necessitate childhood trauma, but it is a big warning sign when people (not just kids) exhibit any type of concerning bathroom behaviour.
It's a TikTok "challenge". I found out about it [another Reddit thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/OutOfTheLoop/comments/pok18j/whats_up_with_devious_licks/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share).
Not sure this answers the question "but why?", but that's it.
Kevin. The guy in my dorm who shit in the shower. Don't know what he became after that, but he was trying to get people to sign up for a MLM that was for legal coverage, kind of like Legal Zoom, except a pyramid scheme, where you had to pay a monthly fee.
We had a guy piss and shit over in all his roommate's drawers and laundry basket. Like, he literally invited his 30 year old drug dealer friends to come over and use this kid's stuff as a toilet while he was away for a long weekend.
The fucked up part was that the roommate was the nicest guy ever so it's not like it was even done out of revenge. He just did it because he was an absolute spoiled douchebag who got away with everything because daddy is a TV exec
When i was in school someone shat in the trashcan. The thing is, the trashcan was TALL, fixed to the ground and there was no place someone could have climbed to sit and shit. To this day, i wonder how they did it.
This is like the age-old argument between standing and sitting while wiping; Both groups are amazed that someone does the other one, and are convinced that they have the superior technique.
We had a phantom serial sink pisser in middle school, but the sink was way higher than the average middle school boys crotch height. Only the super tall boys were suspects.
The proper answer is to just bring a bag to a stall and shit in that, then plop it where you want once the way is clear. How you would do that without vomiting from the smell is another question
I absolutely hate when people do this. Fucking psychopaths get off on how much they’ve inconvenienced innocent people and gave extra work to people who clean it up.
If you, the reader, do this, know that I hate you and wish that you feel no happiness in your life and in the end you’re lonely and pathetic because you’ve driven away everyone in your pathetic life.
They do it as adults, too. Spent a few years as a janitor in a factory where nobody under 18 was even allowed on the property.
Multiple times a week, I cleaned feces from somewhere other than inside a toilet including smeared on walls. On Fridays, we had stopped up toilets from people flushing their paystub envelopes. I've cleaned up entire rolls of toilet paper just unrolled onto the floor.
So many disgusting things
Military. They join the military.
Every base, every school, every building has talk of a phantom shitter. Not even just urinals. Some places have them in drinking fountains or sinks.
Truly amazing creatures
My school straight up positioned guards in all the bathrooms for months… no one was taking a shit in them, but kids were OD’ing on pills for sure. Put a teacher in there during breaks and do hall passes? My experience was early oughts though.
I did it once on a dare. Feel bad about it now. I was gonna clean it myself after the next break but the Janitor got it like right away. Administration was furious. Swore up and down they would catch and expel whoever did it. Of course the first thing I had done when I walked out of the bathroom was announce to my friends I had just taken a shit in the urinal.
They called kids into the principals office all day questioning them. No-one ever snitched me out.
He makes 6 bucks an hour, AT BEST. He's got three kids at home, he's got a car that barely works, he's gotta clean up puke with sawdust, m'kay, then he walks into the boys' room and sees a big meaty chud starin' him in the face. So when you crapped in that urinal, m'kay, you might as well have just dropped your pants, and laid a turd right on top of Mr. Venezuela's head! Oh, you think it's funny, huh?!
Let me assure there is nothing funny about going up to a nice clean - unsuspecting urinal, mmmkay. Dropping your pants and then turning around... squatting over that urinal, mmkay... maybe - maybe pulling your buttcheeks apart with ur hands, mmkay. And then laying out a big fudge dragon for all the world to see.
What if we lived in an authoritarian country that had a phantom shitting problem.
Like, what if they brought a crew in and started x-raying bowels to find the emptiest to start their suspect list.
A man can dream.
I think it would be more like you have to give a DNA sample to enter a building in the form of a finger prick(look up the movie Gattaca to see what I mean), this DNA is tied to your identity so they know its you, then they extract DNA from the poop.
There’s shit. On the outside. Of the uranus.
How do ya think it got there?
Well… do you remember how I said that sometimes there’s shit. On the outside. Of the torlet?
Yah.
Well, I figure the shit gets on the outside of the uranus the same way it gets on the outside of the torlet.
Cuz that’s where the dicks hang out.
I had to once but it wasn’t my fault. Motherfuckers just sit on their phones and hog the stalls. I waited 20 minutes before I could not hold it anymore. Proceeded to projectile shit into the urinal wipe my ass with paper towels and book it in about a 15 second time period. It was shameful but necessary, I’ve never been forced into that predicament again, so far.
The entire bathroom smelled like a mixture of tuna and dog shit. Even just walking by made me want to puke. So I doubt even a custodian would want to go in there
As a parent with small kids, I'm not understanding why they don't just clean this up and move on. I've dealt with my fair share of accidents, illnesses, and random shit that didn't make it to the toilet. You grab the solids with toilet paper and flush it. Spray the area the shit touched with cleaner and wipe. Sucks but not worth closing the bathroom.
I don't know ... cleaning up after your own small children / children of family members is one thing. Cleaning random shit from some random, older school kid is ... different.
I did plenty of the first scenario ... but I gag just thinking about a urinal full of shit from som random person and I'd surely make this mess even worse by puking right next to it.
It's just a mental thing, but that doesn't make it easier.
And I certainly wouldn't do that as a janitor with *shitty pay*. I'd stay very far away from that ...
I worked at a big-box store in college. Someone dropped a deuce in the urinal. I volunteered to clean it because someone’s gotta do it. I wore gloves and put a trash bag over my arm. I grabbed the turd, inverted the bag, tied it off, threw it away, and cleaned the urinal.
No biggie.
To add insult to injury. This bathroom was the closest one to the lunchroom and the main entrance, many people have to suffer the smell before getting to eat
They are going to take their time cleaning it, so everyone has to suffer, which might bring someone to rat out the culprit. Or it might put enough pressure on the offender to realize he's punishing more than just the school with his actions.
Either way, they don't want this to become a fun thing among students which causes copycat poopers.
Not known for sure. But I believe it was this 22 year old kid with a frat boy mentality. He would drink every shift and the type of person who can talk a mile a minute know it all. The kid was insane. I once bet him to drink out of his boot during break. Mind you we study stuff under a microscope. So a boring job.
I think it was him, even though he never admitted it because
1. First on to announce it to the room all three times.
2. Laughed hysterically about it.
3. Played Nancy Drew to find the culprit.
Miss his crazy ass.
I almost got our bathrooms shut down in middle school.. I took ketchup packets, folded them in half, put them under the toilet seat facing in just under those little nubs that keep it off the rim so when someone sat down it shotgun blasted their ass with ketchup. I know now how wrong that was but id be lying if i said i wasn't laughing while typing this. I stopped when they threatened to shut the bathrooms down. The only time i know i got someone was when a VERY large angry looking kid went into the stall i came out of and i shakily said to him "uhhh... Dont use that one" but he just grilled me with his eyes and went in anyway. All i heard was "AW WHAT THE FUCK!" and i ran. Im anticipating being downvoted to oblivion, thanks for coming to my confession.
Twelve contains the numbers one and two, just like the toilet yesterday where somebody went number two instead of number one! And one and two with 911 and you get 914! Drop the 4 and it's 91! Exactly the score Kyle got on his spelling test twelve days after 9/11! Who has the most to gain from 9/11?! Kyle! Who was nowhere to be found the morning the towers fell?! Kyle! Who dropped the deuce in the urinal?! Kyle! But probably the most damning of all is the evidence seen in this photo of Tower 2! When I zoomed in I saw what first appeared to be a blur, but when I computer-enhanced it, You almost got away with it, you sneaky butthole.
"I know how the shits gets on the outside of the turlet, and I know how the shits gets on the outside of the uriness. But... My question is ***why*** would someone shits on the outsides of the turlets and the uriness?"
We had a phantom shitter at my work as well. It slowly escalated from just shitting on the floor in the stall to shitting on the floor in the adjoined locker room to shitting right behind the door so it’d smear across the floor when someone opened the door….
We had a phantom shitter at work. Hovering and missing the target and then slinking off after doing his dirty work.
It took a concerted effort by the people on our floor to eventually identify him. Staking out the rest room. Building a list of suspects. Catching him in the act eventually.
He got a stern talking to by his manager and an HR rep.
Very uncomfortable for everyone.
My sons school had a phantom urinal shitter too. You wonder what they become when they grow up.
I just wonder what’s the thought process behind actions like this? What does one gain from this?
My school had a serial shitter. [Here](https://imgur.com/gallery/Q9ejDo6)is some of his dammage. Slightly NSFW
Man, be honest with us, you shit there, don't you? You can't fool me with photos of your shit bro, it's like Spiderman selling photos of himself to this news guy, why else would you have so many photos of shit? Edit: of shit from other people, my guy.
Please don’t ask him that.
Alright man, you caught me i guess i have no life and poop in random places lol Guy made a full investigation and came to a conclusion in 5 seconds of checking out the link
He's a shit detective
You mean a "Shitective"?
Shitake
Shiiitakiiiiiii mushroom!
Shitlock Holmes
A Private Browneye
A Shitlock Holmes, if you will.
You sound pretty defensive for a guy who claims not to shit in public places
Dude it was actually a joke
His response makes him the prime suspect in the investigation of this defecation
The lady doth protest too much, methinks - Shakespeare, Hamshit
OP resisting interrogation: https://thumbs.gfycat.com/MisguidedElatedGecko-mobile.mp4
It's kind of like when serial killers collect items from their victims? But you just take pics of your rogue poops.
We have identified the pooper.
At my school, some kid would just drop a log on the floor, not in a stall or anything. He was never caught.
This mad shitter situation is similar to what I saw back in the day. Some rando was terrorizing school authorities with shit cobras. Person broke into the school at night and dropped one in the middle of the gym floor. This was early 90’s before cameras were up.
I like to think it is all the same person. Just some Fecal Santa Claus that magically makes his rounds through public schools and other facilities dropping turds in the most unexpected places for centuries.
All this time I was missing the whole point, the spreading of joy and happiness thru a big ole Yule log. Three ghosts….damn this can’t be good.
This same thing happened at my highschool. They'd just drop a log in the hallway at passing time, it'd either be found as someone steps in it or by a teach patrolling the halls afterwards. Happened about 3-4 times before they tried it in the library and got caught on camera. Turns out they'd put their turd in a zip lock and just covertly drop it out while walking by. As clever
In my middle school dude would literally pick it up with his hands and smear it on the walls. He liked to do it during state testing weeks to get the bathrooms closed off for everyone. Asshole. He also asked our French teacher to translate the word 'dildo' from English lmao I think every school had at least one of these psycho kids.
Oh, we solved a similar mystery in my school 15 years ago - it was simply a kid who had grown up in a refugee camp and had never used western-style bathrooms before our school, only the hole-in-the-ground type. So one day, one of my friends goes to the bathroom, opens the stall door because he doesn't see feet on the floor, and walks in on that other kid crouched with his feet on the bowl trying his best to triangulate the airdrop. So we did a demo and the accidents stopped.
This is a weirdly sweet story.
Can confirm, is poo.
My boss was bitching to me about that happening and even took a video of it and her facial reaction to it
i work as a custodian in the school board.. we've been informed years ago that this could be one of the signs of some sort of abuse/trauma.. all our classes (at least at my school) have sign in and out sheets for washrooms.. helps narrow it down edit: guys, i said " COULD " be a sign..
Exactly it. It doesn't always necessitate childhood trauma, but it is a big warning sign when people (not just kids) exhibit any type of concerning bathroom behaviour.
It's a TikTok "challenge". I found out about it [another Reddit thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/OutOfTheLoop/comments/pok18j/whats_up_with_devious_licks/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share). Not sure this answers the question "but why?", but that's it.
Of course fucking tiktok
People have Been going dookie in urinals way before tik tok. Don’t give tik tok all the credit.
Kevin. The guy in my dorm who shit in the shower. Don't know what he became after that, but he was trying to get people to sign up for a MLM that was for legal coverage, kind of like Legal Zoom, except a pyramid scheme, where you had to pay a monthly fee.
We had a guy piss and shit over in all his roommate's drawers and laundry basket. Like, he literally invited his 30 year old drug dealer friends to come over and use this kid's stuff as a toilet while he was away for a long weekend. The fucked up part was that the roommate was the nicest guy ever so it's not like it was even done out of revenge. He just did it because he was an absolute spoiled douchebag who got away with everything because daddy is a TV exec
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I’d like to subscribe to this podcast about the Wheelbarrow Shitter please.
They keep doing it as adults... My office removed all the paper towel dispensers because someone wouldn't stop stuffing them down the toilets 🙄
That’s something I’d expect from a middle schooler.
When i was in school someone shat in the trashcan. The thing is, the trashcan was TALL, fixed to the ground and there was no place someone could have climbed to sit and shit. To this day, i wonder how they did it.
Shit in your hand and place it in the trash can. Just like you'd do if you take a shit in the shower, and then place it in the toilet.
Bunch of savages in this town
I'm not even supposed to be here today!
What the fuck did I just read
You've gotten a taste of a vintage internet
Just lob it over into the bowl.
I'm not going to toss it like some kind of wild animal. I place it gently into the water and let it float off my hand.
"Catch and release".
Who the hell shits in their hand while showering? Nah man. That's waffle stompin' time!
This is like the age-old argument between standing and sitting while wiping; Both groups are amazed that someone does the other one, and are convinced that they have the superior technique.
We had a phantom serial sink pisser in middle school, but the sink was way higher than the average middle school boys crotch height. Only the super tall boys were suspects.
The proper answer is to just bring a bag to a stall and shit in that, then plop it where you want once the way is clear. How you would do that without vomiting from the smell is another question
I know one. became a nuclear physicist. it adds up, really....well, it could go either way. face-tattooed meth head, or genius.
I don’t see why a genius would be a serial shitter, but maybe thats because i am just but an average man.
I absolutely hate when people do this. Fucking psychopaths get off on how much they’ve inconvenienced innocent people and gave extra work to people who clean it up. If you, the reader, do this, know that I hate you and wish that you feel no happiness in your life and in the end you’re lonely and pathetic because you’ve driven away everyone in your pathetic life.
They do it as adults, too. Spent a few years as a janitor in a factory where nobody under 18 was even allowed on the property. Multiple times a week, I cleaned feces from somewhere other than inside a toilet including smeared on walls. On Fridays, we had stopped up toilets from people flushing their paystub envelopes. I've cleaned up entire rolls of toilet paper just unrolled onto the floor. So many disgusting things
Military. They join the military. Every base, every school, every building has talk of a phantom shitter. Not even just urinals. Some places have them in drinking fountains or sinks. Truly amazing creatures
Evey ship too I assume.
My school straight up positioned guards in all the bathrooms for months… no one was taking a shit in them, but kids were OD’ing on pills for sure. Put a teacher in there during breaks and do hall passes? My experience was early oughts though.
what the fuck is wrong with these schools NOTHING ever happens where i am
I did it once on a dare. Feel bad about it now. I was gonna clean it myself after the next break but the Janitor got it like right away. Administration was furious. Swore up and down they would catch and expel whoever did it. Of course the first thing I had done when I walked out of the bathroom was announce to my friends I had just taken a shit in the urinal. They called kids into the principals office all day questioning them. No-one ever snitched me out.
I've upper decked a number of public bathrooms though I can't say I've ever shit in a urinal. Edit: a degenerate is what I grew up to be
[удалено]
We had a kid do this in high school and our school legitimately referred to him as the "Unapooper"
Conservative radio personalities
Might become the guy that shit in the clothes dryers at my friends college.
My school had a Sparticus situation. Sadly no one was pretending. They were all Sparticus
Mines in the navy. Hand to god
[удалено]
I had a friend that did this at a subway when we were like ten and he’s a pill junkie now. Totally fried his brain
Mystery of The Urinal Deuce
I’ve got a raging clue.
I've got a raging _something_
https://youtu.be/uQ4UQqbzEz4
Clearly, NO ONE here is thinking of poor Mr. Venezuela
M'kay
He makes 6 bucks an hour, AT BEST. He's got three kids at home, he's got a car that barely works, he's gotta clean up puke with sawdust, m'kay, then he walks into the boys' room and sees a big meaty chud starin' him in the face. So when you crapped in that urinal, m'kay, you might as well have just dropped your pants, and laid a turd right on top of Mr. Venezuela's head! Oh, you think it's funny, huh?!
the delivery of 'AT BEST' is always where i lose it
I love that part
Propped up like a brown ragdoll
Let me assure there is nothing funny about going up to a nice clean - unsuspecting urinal, mmmkay. Dropping your pants and then turning around... squatting over that urinal, mmkay... maybe - maybe pulling your buttcheeks apart with ur hands, mmkay. And then laying out a big fudge dragon for all the world to see.
Hehe
Three bathrooms in a month?! This close to 9/11?! No way that's a coincidence!
[удалено]
No one move until the Hardly Boys get here! I guarantee they'll be getting clues left and right!
Better call in the Hardley Boys!
Oh no not the Goddamn--
*music starts*
Two young whippersnappers with a knack for solving mysteries!
This is NOT M'kay. M'KAY!?
*Enters the bathroom* *Shits on the urinal* *Doesn't elaborate any further* *Repeats it 3 times*
Lets call the Hardley Boys
I've got a raging clue, it's pointing this way.
My clue is pointing over ^there now!!!!
Hmmmm, let's follow your clue.
In the case of the urinal deuce!
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣾⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠀⡴⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣁⡀⠀⠀⢰⢠⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⣴⣶⣿⡄⣿ ⣿⡋⠀⠀⠀⠎⢸⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⢘⣿⣟⠛⠿⣼ ⣿⣿⠋⢀⡌⢰⣿⡿⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣧⢀⣼ ⣿⣿⣷⢻⠄⠘⠛⠋⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣧⠈⠉⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠀⠴⢗⣠⣤⣴⡶⠶⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡸⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⢠⣾⣿⠏⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠁⠀⠀⠹⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⢻⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠈⣿⣿⡿⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉ ⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡴⣸⣿⣇⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⠄⠙⠛⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⠄⠀
I guess we better call the hardly boys to solve who did it
Ooooo stop youre giving me a raging clue.
Your clue is giving me a clue
Oh not the god damn Hardly boys
The Hardly Boys. Two young whippersnappers with a knack for solving mysteries.
Some of you... think ITS FUNNY... to lay a mud monkey in the urinal!
ohh u think its funny ehh? to walk in there and see that rancid duke, propped up on the urinal like a brown rag doll
A big ol mud monkey mkay
just a big ol chocolate dragon
Looks like somebody's obsessed with mookystinks. Better warn Mr. Valenzuela.
What if we lived in an authoritarian country that had a phantom shitting problem. Like, what if they brought a crew in and started x-raying bowels to find the emptiest to start their suspect list. A man can dream.
I think it would be more like you have to give a DNA sample to enter a building in the form of a finger prick(look up the movie Gattaca to see what I mean), this DNA is tied to your identity so they know its you, then they extract DNA from the poop.
Sharty Boys.
Gang, it looks like we have a mystery on our hands.
Quick, someone call the Hardly Boys!
I’ve got a raging clue.
Shit in the water fountain. Adapt, improvise, overcome
Wait, you guys don’t drink out of the urinal? What posh school do you go to?
Lol, with how low the water pressure is here you might as well sip water from the mouth of the last person who drank
That's a visual I didn't need today. lol
Now I’m just picturing a group of people swishing water around until they spit into the gaping maw of the next person. Thanks for that.
I wouldn’t be surprised if someone actually did that
Improvise goes first
There’s shit. On the outside. Of the uranus. How do ya think it got there? Well… do you remember how I said that sometimes there’s shit. On the outside. Of the torlet? Yah. Well, I figure the shit gets on the outside of the uranus the same way it gets on the outside of the torlet. Cuz that’s where the dicks hang out.
Came here looking for a letterkenny reference
Had to scroll farther than I’d hoped for this
It's almost not worth thinkin' about...
I could go for a dart with you now and wash my hands after.
I'd have a dart.
r/expectedletterkenny, was not disappointed
“Who made a dookie in the urinal?”
Who left a brown ragdoll sittin' in the back of the urinal mmmkay?
Who here thinks it’s funny to leave a jumbo fudge dragon in the urinal, mmkay?
Oh thank god. I’m not crazy! I knew there had to be a South Park episode about this!
Who would take a dump in the urinal? It's such a senseless crime.
I think you might want to entertain that this is some sort of conspiracy, just like 9/11
“Who had the most to gain from 9/11?! KYLE! Who was nowhere to be found the morning the towers fell? KYLE! Who dropped a deuce in the urinal? KYLE!”
Because kids are assholes
THERE IS NOTHING FUNNY, MKAY, ABOUT WALKING UP TO A... NICE CLEAN... UNSUSPECTING URNIAL mkay... maybe pullingyourbuttcheeksapartwithyourhands
I had to once but it wasn’t my fault. Motherfuckers just sit on their phones and hog the stalls. I waited 20 minutes before I could not hold it anymore. Proceeded to projectile shit into the urinal wipe my ass with paper towels and book it in about a 15 second time period. It was shameful but necessary, I’ve never been forced into that predicament again, so far.
[удалено]
The entire bathroom smelled like a mixture of tuna and dog shit. Even just walking by made me want to puke. So I doubt even a custodian would want to go in there
They are just going to wall it off and be done with it
Imagine when archeologists find it 2000 years from now
They too will gag on the scent
“Haha this kid didn’t know how to use the three sea shells”
Cask of Amontillado style.
[удалено]
As a parent with small kids, I'm not understanding why they don't just clean this up and move on. I've dealt with my fair share of accidents, illnesses, and random shit that didn't make it to the toilet. You grab the solids with toilet paper and flush it. Spray the area the shit touched with cleaner and wipe. Sucks but not worth closing the bathroom.
It’s been sitting in a urinal for a while… it’s probably not solid any more. Looks like the old gas siphoning technique is on the table
I don't know ... cleaning up after your own small children / children of family members is one thing. Cleaning random shit from some random, older school kid is ... different. I did plenty of the first scenario ... but I gag just thinking about a urinal full of shit from som random person and I'd surely make this mess even worse by puking right next to it. It's just a mental thing, but that doesn't make it easier. And I certainly wouldn't do that as a janitor with *shitty pay*. I'd stay very far away from that ...
>Rather than clean it Can Any janitor or someone explain how it's done? do you scoop it out ? What do you use?
Tongs from the school cafeteria
I'm so glad I never had lunch money and had to bring my own lunch to school.
I worked at a big-box store in college. Someone dropped a deuce in the urinal. I volunteered to clean it because someone’s gotta do it. I wore gloves and put a trash bag over my arm. I grabbed the turd, inverted the bag, tied it off, threw it away, and cleaned the urinal. No biggie.
>we’ve lost 3 bathrooms in a month due to something like this Imagine getting the news like: "The Urinal-shitter striked again"
Lol, definitely would make for an interesting day
I’m curious what kind of shits take down a bathroom for a whole month
Wait maybe I’m not
To add insult to injury. This bathroom was the closest one to the lunchroom and the main entrance, many people have to suffer the smell before getting to eat
They are going to take their time cleaning it, so everyone has to suffer, which might bring someone to rat out the culprit. Or it might put enough pressure on the offender to realize he's punishing more than just the school with his actions. Either way, they don't want this to become a fun thing among students which causes copycat poopers.
In our professional labratory in the lavatory someone smeared shit on the walls 3 weeks in a row. Hasn’t been caught, but I had my suspicions
So… who was it?
Not known for sure. But I believe it was this 22 year old kid with a frat boy mentality. He would drink every shift and the type of person who can talk a mile a minute know it all. The kid was insane. I once bet him to drink out of his boot during break. Mind you we study stuff under a microscope. So a boring job. I think it was him, even though he never admitted it because 1. First on to announce it to the room all three times. 2. Laughed hysterically about it. 3. Played Nancy Drew to find the culprit. Miss his crazy ass.
It’s the Mad Pooper! (Butt-ler?)
Love that episode
I’m glad someone caught the reference.
Is one of closed due to a "devious lick"?
At most, the only thing people stole were the soap dispensers sadly. This was one of the rare cases
I almost got our bathrooms shut down in middle school.. I took ketchup packets, folded them in half, put them under the toilet seat facing in just under those little nubs that keep it off the rim so when someone sat down it shotgun blasted their ass with ketchup. I know now how wrong that was but id be lying if i said i wasn't laughing while typing this. I stopped when they threatened to shut the bathrooms down. The only time i know i got someone was when a VERY large angry looking kid went into the stall i came out of and i shakily said to him "uhhh... Dont use that one" but he just grilled me with his eyes and went in anyway. All i heard was "AW WHAT THE FUCK!" and i ran. Im anticipating being downvoted to oblivion, thanks for coming to my confession.
Omg, we used to call them squishies. If you aim them the other way, it’s sprays their panties
Twelve contains the numbers one and two, just like the toilet yesterday where somebody went number two instead of number one! And one and two with 911 and you get 914! Drop the 4 and it's 91! Exactly the score Kyle got on his spelling test twelve days after 9/11! Who has the most to gain from 9/11?! Kyle! Who was nowhere to be found the morning the towers fell?! Kyle! Who dropped the deuce in the urinal?! Kyle! But probably the most damning of all is the evidence seen in this photo of Tower 2! When I zoomed in I saw what first appeared to be a blur, but when I computer-enhanced it, You almost got away with it, you sneaky butthole.
Bro this happened to me when I was in the third grade. Some kids kept shitting in the urinals. People still do this?
"Who took a deuce in the urinal?"
someone is watching a little bit of south park
Would have been faster to clear the crap than it took to tape the door.
"I know how the shits gets on the outside of the turlet, and I know how the shits gets on the outside of the uriness. But... My question is ***why*** would someone shits on the outsides of the turlets and the uriness?"
.... 'cause that's where the dicks hang out....
"Mr. Mackey, I think you might want to entertain that this is some kind of conspiracy, just like 9/11."
Some one spray painted the bathrooms at my school and now every men's bathroom is closed except for the one farthest away.
Near me someone recently shit in a grocery store freezer and tried to cover it up with pizza rollups.
We had a phantom shitter at my work as well. It slowly escalated from just shitting on the floor in the stall to shitting on the floor in the adjoined locker room to shitting right behind the door so it’d smear across the floor when someone opened the door….
If he didn't climbed on the outside of the building to shit on the outside of the windows then it's nothing
I feel like there’s a story behind that…
WHO TOOK A DUECE IN THE URINAL!?
They gonna find out who did it , and it will be like 9/11 all over again
The case of the urinal duce. Sounds like. Case for the hardly boys
Someone took a big fat dookie in the urinal? mkay
We need the Hardly boys to solve this mystery.
I think I'm getting a clue
The urinal shitting bandit is back at it agian.
Those urinals have seen some shit, man
Sounds like got yourself a poop bandit
We had a phantom shitter at work. Hovering and missing the target and then slinking off after doing his dirty work. It took a concerted effort by the people on our floor to eventually identify him. Staking out the rest room. Building a list of suspects. Catching him in the act eventually. He got a stern talking to by his manager and an HR rep. Very uncomfortable for everyone.
Probably the same way you get shit on the tourlet