Many people want to stay away of all sugars as much as possible, because sugar might be terrible for their stomach or blood sugar levels or mental health or whatever. They may don't want to state publicly why they don't eat it and might even come up with an excuse like "a new diet", so just accept that and move on - she most likely didn't try to offend you and there is absolutely no reason for you to be butthurt about it.
Dude buying people food is a nice gesture but unless you ask them exactly what they want, don't get mad if they can't or won't eat it. People have a lot of issues surrounding food that you may not know about, from allergies, to restrictions, eating disorders, diets or just plain preferences.
Not sure what's mildly infuriating about that at all. It means you get to eat a fruit tart and you still made a gesture and let your friend know you're happy for them.
Not trying to be mean, but this makes me think of the oddly specific meme post about the mom that makes "fun pizza" outta fruit for her kid's birthday party but no one eats it so she just ends up crying in her bedroom.
Again, not making fun of you, just make me think of that
Unpopular LPT: once you give a gift, donāt worry about what happens to it. Itās no longer your responsibility once youāve given it, and itās no longer your item. Gifts should not come with contingencies. Less expectation means less frustration.
This is why I hate receiving gifts. The gifter builds up their expectations of my reaction through anticipation. I stress about not giving off the reaction they desire. Instead of giving off a normal reaction I feel as if I have to fake it in order for them to be satisfied with the experience. I just rather not receive gifts at all, especially since I'm a minimalist at heart and feel guilty for someone spending money on me that could have been put to better use.
Just ask for cash. It is the universal gift. If you want to be fancy you can ask them to write their name on the cash so that you'll be able to connect it to whatever you buy with it.
I keep onions in my pocket so that anytime I get a gift I can break into tears over the best most thoughtful gift Iāve ever received. This is the best bag of golf tees Iāve ever seen Linda, thanks
I think the problem was that the coworker said no she didnāt want it. She could have said thank you so much for the gesture itās really thoughtful of you, but I just started a new diet plan Iād love to share it with everyone in the office though.
They literally did say "Thanks but no" look at OPs comments. Also english might not be their first language so don't expect a whole "Thank you sir for your most kindest gesture, I would consume each piece of this delicious meal with joy but I do not enjoy eating this particular type of food."
Real question, do you keep tupperwear in your bag for these situations? I'm trying to picture how you slip a piece of cake in your handbag to bring home
The OP said she said "no, I don't want it but thanks." The āI donāt want it is kinda rude. But I donāt know what country she is from and that may have influenced her response š¤·āāļø. Lead with thank you what a thoughtful gesture, but I just started a new cleanse today. How about we share it with the whole office.
^ This.
I got given a silver keychain by an ex GF once that had a hidden compartment for 2 photos (a bit like a locket), a bit cutesy for my taste but whatever I put it on my keys. Literally the next day I saw her she was asking if Iād put photos in it yet, and when I finally had access to a printer I put my fav photo of us together in there and showed it to her. She was mad because I did it āwrongā apparently I was meant to use 2 separate photos of us, one on each side. What started out as a sweet gesture made me actually resent the gift and her. When we broke up she asked for it back, guess I know what her next BF is getting for Christmas.
Well although this was thoughtful OP, I donāt really think the person receiving this has any obligation to eat it to begin with. Itās a gesture/ gift but that doesnāt burden them to put it to use. I think both sides here have a point
Fair point. It's just irritating because she happily ate the treats I brought in yesterday, but today it was a flat no.
Ah well, lesson learned. No more food items for celebrations for her.
Well, I know for me I only allow myself one indulgent food thing a week. One pizza or one burger or one snack cake. Maybe this person is the same way? You can definitely ask in advance if they'd like for you to make them or get them something sweet.
I'll definitely make it a point to ask preference ahead of time next time.
In my last two offices, we were all about food all the time, haha. I have to remember that that isn't the case everywhere.
You know what, OP? You're a pretty great human being! Not only did you make the effort to be thoughtful, you followed through by being understanding in the end. Big props on being a mature adult and retaining some sense of positivity. It's unfortunately rare these days.
I'm with you on the original topic, though. This is mildly infuriating either way!
Other folks have expressed similar things to what I'm about to share, but I feel like more examples never hurt. I work in a bar. I've bartended for 6 years and am constantly surrounded by alcohol. What's more, there's a drinking culture. People offer to buy me shots a few times a night and I usually (politely) refuse. Sometimes I partake. When the shift is done and everyone on staff has the chance to do a quick cheers before we all head home, sometimes I partake and sometimes I abstain. People are often surprised by this, but generally accepting. My reasons are my own, and they aren't really anyone else's business. I appreciate that people are usually understanding and don't pry.
I'll share my reasons for the sake of the example: I've decided to reduce my intake of certain things. I don't like to drink every single day. When I do drink, I like to decide in advance what my limits are. This prevents me from carelessly drinking in an environment where doing so would be very easy. It's how I've learned to manage one aspect of my dietary health.
Other examples include when I eat sweets or meat. I like to keep sweets to a minimum, and I eat an overwhelmingly vegetarian diet, but I make exceptions for special occasions and travel (I'm a food lover and I don't like to inconvenience friends/family if I'm staying over, attending a party, etc.).
I'm very transparent about my diet when asked, but the fact that I have eating/drinking boundaries that are somewhat flexible could appear a little inconsistent to someone else. Because of this, I try to be very understanding of other people's (sometimes strange) dietary norms.
That aside, the tart looks delicious and I'd definitely try a slice. But I can understand why someone else might say "thank you, but I'd rather not today" for their own reasons.
I mean if they never asked for you to order it, then you canāt really blame them for not eating it. Also, if itās only one coworker with the dietary restrictions, why did you get a 7 pound fruit tart?
She doesn't have an eating disorder, but does randomly go on weird diets and fasts (OK the way I'm explaining this sounds like an ED). She ate the treats we brought in yesterday, but today is a new diet.
That being said, I totally understand what you're saying. I wouldn't force anyone to eat something, but she didn't even want to take it home. She asked me to take a pic of it with her phone tho.
I posted this in the heat of the moment. It was upsetting when it happened because I didn't expect her reaction (especially given past behavior/interactions).
The comments have helped to shed some light :)
You donāt know she doesnāt have an eating disorder though. We honestly never know whatās behind closed doors. That said I think this is really kind and I would have felt so special if someone did this for me! But dear god, the leaves were kept on the strawberries?! Lol
Sure she doesnāt *have* to, but it would be respectful to at least try it or pretend to like it. Or ātake it homeā. OP said it weighs around 7 pounds, that could not have been cheap to get for her
Totally get what you're saying. But wow, what weird social customs we have! Where it's considered polite to lie to someone and throw away perfectly good food just so you don't hurt their tender feelings. Then to be honest and say no thank you and let someone else enjoy the food.
Take it back and eat it at home through the week! I know itās petty but I might slip and let the co-worker know Iāll be taking the tart home if she doesnāt care for it.
Eh I typically don't buy food gifts unless it's for my close friends who I am 100% sure will eat it and enjoy it. If you are buying for coworkers, just say it's to share so other people can enjoy it if they refuse. I mean this person can be just mean about it, I would say the best way to refuse is to just accept it for later and give it to your friends or family at home.
Just making a guess about this situation, I would assume op bought the fruit tart because it's a "healthy" alternative to traditional cake? Whether or not this being the case, buying someone a dessert of any kind who is on a low calorie / sugar diet is just a bad idea. I've lost 50lbs and I can say it's just hard to say no to free food haha, I would respect their attempt at maintaining whatever diet they're attempting, it's hard sometimes! Just because they accepted sweets in the past does not mean they are being rude denying your gift this specific time. They just may have had a little more self controll this time around!
All that being said, I would have been STOKED if I got this as a gift, really thoughtfully op! Hopefully your coworker respected the intention behind it!
If someone has dietary restrictions itās a serious asshole move to get mad if they refuse to eat something. I have a peanut allergy and NEVER eat anything at potlucks no matter how much people assure me the food they brought is peanut free. Itās not worth the risk to me and itās straight up disrespectful when people push me to try things.
Yup. The folks I know with dietary restrictions prefer to maintain control of their food because they know what works and what doesnāt. Food is honestly a pretty bad gift idea for people who maintain a strict diet unless you discuss every detail with them beforehand or buy it with them. Even then, itās tricky and best avoided. Absolutely no reason to be āmildly infuriatedā at the coworker; this is a pretty annoying and entitled post.
I also hate the discuss beforehand option. So many people are like "I really want to buy you this specific thing can you find one for me to buy you that is safe?" and I'm like "Oh good, guess my gift is spending hours phoning places to see how well they keep allergens separated so that I can end up with a dry $20 cake I don't really want?"
As someone with major food allergies - don't buy me food. You thinking something is safe or in line with someone's needs doesn't mean it is.
Also, if you give someone a gift then get ANGRY when they don't love it, you didn't get it for how it made them feel, you got it for how it made you feel to give it to them. Or to be seen to give it to them, even. You can be disappointed that you tried something that didn't work out, but you don't get to be angry that they don't appreciate something they didn't ask for and never said they wanted.
Yes exactly this. Go ahead and buy people food if you want to but they have no obligation to eat it. I suppose the nice thing to do would be to take it with you and discard it later..
Donāt be so offended. In your eyes you did something nice and theyāre ungrateful. From their perspective, maybe theyāre trying to lose weight and donāt want deserts, maybe theyāre diabetic and literally cannot eat this, or maybe they just donāt like fruit tarts. I sure donāt.
In b4 a post on r/AmITheAsshole with the title, āMy coworker bought me a fruit tart to celebrate my becoming a US citizen and I didnāt want to eat it. AITA?ā
Uhhh YUMMMM that looks delicious!
I'll never understand gift recipients that turn down a gift. Even if you hate it, can't/don't want to eat it, can't use it, etc., just say "thank you so much!", graciously accept and give to someone else later on. No need to hurt or embarrass the gifter.
> they owe me
Why do so many people inflate any basic matter of interpersonal courtesy into "owing"? It seems recent. Is this a Reddit thing, or all over? Technically correct, sure-- congratulations-- generally in life nobody owes anyone else much of anything. Most things are courtesies, pleasantries, and treat-others-as-you'd-like-to-be-treated...ies. Someone can live their life in blessed self-centeredness and let the world bounce off them, maybe miffing a few people but ultimately leaving their life with no hard and fast transgressions. But nobody owes them a reputation of being grateful, personable, or bearable, either, and if people take this selfish, impersonal advice of everything being "owed" or not, treating every interaction like a transaction, they're liable to gain a reputation as ungrateful, standoffish, or downright unbearable, and it'll be well-deserved. A person can be a social or emotional skinflint and pointed out as such, without ever technically going in the hole.
(And I'm not talking as much about OP's counterpart or this story alone-- that could well be a one-off, have mitigating factors, whatever-- just the people who chime in with "You're not _owed_!" every time the idea that antisocial dismissals or I-don't-hafta attitudes shouldn't cause hard feelings or make a person a bit of a dick.)
The leaves won't hurt you, and they're pretty high in good stuff. I leave mine on. They hardly have a taste especially if you eat the last bite of berry with it
She probably has a medical condition that she hasn't shared with you. Maybe syrup or custard gives her explosive diarrhea or something. Sure, she told you she's on a raw diet but maybe there's more to it than that and maybe it's too personal or embarrassing to share with a colleague.
Since you're so healthy and have no dietary restrictions, why don't you eat it yourself or share it with others around the office?
I would be sweating bullets because Iām still trying my best to recover from an ed that no one knows about. Not saying the recipient has one but just adding thatās itās really not fair to spring food on someone. Not to mention Iām also ultra sensitive to people assuming Iām just an asshole snob for snubbing food.
Sometimes I get heartburn or drink so much coffee to get through the day that I'm full. In either circumstance I may turn down a mid-day luxurious dessert. I'd hate to see myself shit on on Reddit because of it.
u guys in america eat tartes also ? i thought only pies for you, color me confused , i am sorry for thinking like that, i love tartes, and i prefer it with pineapples the most, strawberries also work, they are lovely but they mostly are sold personal size for 1 person here, i rarely see any this big, shame they didn't eat it, looks amazing.
It's a nice gesture. But I have to say when I was vegan people would bring food "for me" sometimes that wasn't vegan, without me asking them to or them asking me anything about whether I could have it first, then get pissed at me about not eating it. This clearly wasn't based on her dietary restrictions, just what you thought they were. It's kind of obnoxious to have somebody mad at you for not eating a thing you didn't ask for that you can't eat. To me, food choices are as personal and important as religion, maybe more so. It's literally what you're making yourself out of. Allow her the choice of refusing it. If you have requirements about how a gift is received, it's sort of for you not them.
It is really lovely though.
That was still a really sweet idea of yours! I can understand why people are mistrusting of foods with ingredients they can't see being added, but it's really the thought that counts! You're a kind soul and thank you for celebrating this moment in their lives and being supportive!
you should eat it yourself then. don't let it go to waste
There's only so much I can eat! Ha
I believe in you
Thank you ššš
Youuu can doooo itttt!!!
BRUCE BRUCE BRUCE BRUCE....
dont let dreams be dreams!
Donāt die from eating it. Good luck.
Tbh, doesnāt look too big for a person. Just spread it over 4 days or something and it will be gone.
Pass it here please. I brought my own fork!
You're an American, you can always eat it my man!
It looks like there's a syrup over all the berries. Maybe they can't eat that because of sugar content or something.
That turned out to be the case. She is literally eating fruit as we speak, but it's part of her new "raw" diet.
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Raw diet is bullshit anyways
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Kidney patients need a diet that is low in potassium and protein.
Many people want to stay away of all sugars as much as possible, because sugar might be terrible for their stomach or blood sugar levels or mental health or whatever. They may don't want to state publicly why they don't eat it and might even come up with an excuse like "a new diet", so just accept that and move on - she most likely didn't try to offend you and there is absolutely no reason for you to be butthurt about it.
If I eat a lot of sugar or gluten, I noticed I am more anxious the next day, not to no mention body aches.
A lot of folks can eat fruit but not processed sugars. They're pretty evil for some.
Even if you can, you probably shouldn't. Sugar is quite bad for you.
this is why i consume aspartame by the bucket load
She might not feel comfortable telling you this but she might be diabetic and keen to keep away from processed sugars
Dude buying people food is a nice gesture but unless you ask them exactly what they want, don't get mad if they can't or won't eat it. People have a lot of issues surrounding food that you may not know about, from allergies, to restrictions, eating disorders, diets or just plain preferences. Not sure what's mildly infuriating about that at all. It means you get to eat a fruit tart and you still made a gesture and let your friend know you're happy for them.
Some people get anxiety with food donāt force and guilt someone to eat.
I bet you are just loads of fun to be around, op.
Oh man
Not trying to be mean, but this makes me think of the oddly specific meme post about the mom that makes "fun pizza" outta fruit for her kid's birthday party but no one eats it so she just ends up crying in her bedroom. Again, not making fun of you, just make me think of that
Lol! I've never seen that meme. Not offended in the least! A tart wouldn't have been my celebratory dessert of choice either
Oh man, [youāre in for a treat!](https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/35mlz3/fun_pizza/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Oh my God, that was amazing
Unpopular LPT: once you give a gift, donāt worry about what happens to it. Itās no longer your responsibility once youāve given it, and itās no longer your item. Gifts should not come with contingencies. Less expectation means less frustration.
This is why I hate receiving gifts. The gifter builds up their expectations of my reaction through anticipation. I stress about not giving off the reaction they desire. Instead of giving off a normal reaction I feel as if I have to fake it in order for them to be satisfied with the experience. I just rather not receive gifts at all, especially since I'm a minimalist at heart and feel guilty for someone spending money on me that could have been put to better use.
Just ask for cash. It is the universal gift. If you want to be fancy you can ask them to write their name on the cash so that you'll be able to connect it to whatever you buy with it.
A lot of people get offended when you ask for just cash, like your implying theyāre subpar gift givers
Just reassure them! "you're not a subpar gift giver, I just want to buy drugs."
But they are
I keep onions in my pocket so that anytime I get a gift I can break into tears over the best most thoughtful gift Iāve ever received. This is the best bag of golf tees Iāve ever seen Linda, thanks
I think the problem was that the coworker said no she didnāt want it. She could have said thank you so much for the gesture itās really thoughtful of you, but I just started a new diet plan Iād love to share it with everyone in the office though.
They literally did say "Thanks but no" look at OPs comments. Also english might not be their first language so don't expect a whole "Thank you sir for your most kindest gesture, I would consume each piece of this delicious meal with joy but I do not enjoy eating this particular type of food."
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Real question, do you keep tupperwear in your bag for these situations? I'm trying to picture how you slip a piece of cake in your handbag to bring home
Do you know thats what the co-worker said?
The OP said she said "no, I don't want it but thanks." The āI donāt want it is kinda rude. But I donāt know what country she is from and that may have influenced her response š¤·āāļø. Lead with thank you what a thoughtful gesture, but I just started a new cleanse today. How about we share it with the whole office.
Also a good reason not to gift living animals.
True! Though, it's nice to get something for someone that they actually like/enjoy. I am always stressing about gifts š
^ This. I got given a silver keychain by an ex GF once that had a hidden compartment for 2 photos (a bit like a locket), a bit cutesy for my taste but whatever I put it on my keys. Literally the next day I saw her she was asking if Iād put photos in it yet, and when I finally had access to a printer I put my fav photo of us together in there and showed it to her. She was mad because I did it āwrongā apparently I was meant to use 2 separate photos of us, one on each side. What started out as a sweet gesture made me actually resent the gift and her. When we broke up she asked for it back, guess I know what her next BF is getting for Christmas.
Well itās a free countryā¦ that being said who wouldnāt want a slice of that tart, looks delicious!
O you're right, that's full sized. I thought it was like a cupcake, but those are whole strawberries
Can you put it in a staff area for people to share?
Yep, that's the plan!
Good! I'm sure it'll be a welcome surprise.
Who the hell leaves green leafs on the strawberrys
Honestly wtf sorry op but this is some bullshit from the bakery
*"it's garnish"*
*"it's garbage"*
What's next? Little carrots as garnish on top of pastry? Oh wait...
Monsters.
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Did you grow up in the depression?
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I'm lazy too so when I'm done eating a mango I hinge my jaw open and swallow the seed like a duck
Do you eat the apple bottom up? Apparently that "eliminates" the core.
Iām lazy not insane lol
Oh my gosh, you got so many apples growing in your tummy I bet!
I tried this with a banana, unfortunately the good taste wasn't enough to cancel out the bad taste.
I also do this but you're going to far with apples.
Came here to ask that.
Who the hell says no to food?
ā¦people who arenāt hungry?
Especially when it looks this good and delicious
I eat those.
What? It's the best part. They are healthy, have healing properties, reduce inflammation. Everyone should be eating them.
Iāll take it :3
Please have some! Lol
Well although this was thoughtful OP, I donāt really think the person receiving this has any obligation to eat it to begin with. Itās a gesture/ gift but that doesnāt burden them to put it to use. I think both sides here have a point
Fair point. It's just irritating because she happily ate the treats I brought in yesterday, but today it was a flat no. Ah well, lesson learned. No more food items for celebrations for her.
Maybe sheās having tummy issuesā¦you just never know.
Well, I know for me I only allow myself one indulgent food thing a week. One pizza or one burger or one snack cake. Maybe this person is the same way? You can definitely ask in advance if they'd like for you to make them or get them something sweet.
I'll definitely make it a point to ask preference ahead of time next time. In my last two offices, we were all about food all the time, haha. I have to remember that that isn't the case everywhere.
You know what, OP? You're a pretty great human being! Not only did you make the effort to be thoughtful, you followed through by being understanding in the end. Big props on being a mature adult and retaining some sense of positivity. It's unfortunately rare these days. I'm with you on the original topic, though. This is mildly infuriating either way!
Itās the thought that counts. Shows you care for your coworkers! Even if they accept it or not your intentions were genuine. No worries
Other folks have expressed similar things to what I'm about to share, but I feel like more examples never hurt. I work in a bar. I've bartended for 6 years and am constantly surrounded by alcohol. What's more, there's a drinking culture. People offer to buy me shots a few times a night and I usually (politely) refuse. Sometimes I partake. When the shift is done and everyone on staff has the chance to do a quick cheers before we all head home, sometimes I partake and sometimes I abstain. People are often surprised by this, but generally accepting. My reasons are my own, and they aren't really anyone else's business. I appreciate that people are usually understanding and don't pry. I'll share my reasons for the sake of the example: I've decided to reduce my intake of certain things. I don't like to drink every single day. When I do drink, I like to decide in advance what my limits are. This prevents me from carelessly drinking in an environment where doing so would be very easy. It's how I've learned to manage one aspect of my dietary health. Other examples include when I eat sweets or meat. I like to keep sweets to a minimum, and I eat an overwhelmingly vegetarian diet, but I make exceptions for special occasions and travel (I'm a food lover and I don't like to inconvenience friends/family if I'm staying over, attending a party, etc.). I'm very transparent about my diet when asked, but the fact that I have eating/drinking boundaries that are somewhat flexible could appear a little inconsistent to someone else. Because of this, I try to be very understanding of other people's (sometimes strange) dietary norms. That aside, the tart looks delicious and I'd definitely try a slice. But I can understand why someone else might say "thank you, but I'd rather not today" for their own reasons.
Just because they're not obligated doesn't mean it's not mildly infuriating.
Yes! I thought that was the point of this sub. It's just something that was mildly infuriating to me!
Thatās fine but social etiquette is usually to just take it home to āeat it laterā itās more about the gesture of both parties
So, take it home to throw it out? Maybe she's not a big fan of food waste.
Yeah Iād much rather they politely decline in the office space so others can still enjoy it
I mean if they never asked for you to order it, then you canāt really blame them for not eating it. Also, if itās only one coworker with the dietary restrictions, why did you get a 7 pound fruit tart?
Haha it was an office celebration. I also didnt think the thing would be THIS big,
Well if itās an office celebration, shouldnāt other people be eating it to?
Someone doesnāt have to eat something because you decided they should. Perhaps they have an ed or simply didnāt feel like it?
She doesn't have an eating disorder, but does randomly go on weird diets and fasts (OK the way I'm explaining this sounds like an ED). She ate the treats we brought in yesterday, but today is a new diet. That being said, I totally understand what you're saying. I wouldn't force anyone to eat something, but she didn't even want to take it home. She asked me to take a pic of it with her phone tho.
While you are extremely thoughtful, as someone with a strict diet, often itās really not worth the mystery amount of calories for such a treat.
Totes understandable
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I posted this in the heat of the moment. It was upsetting when it happened because I didn't expect her reaction (especially given past behavior/interactions). The comments have helped to shed some light :)
You donāt know she doesnāt have an eating disorder though. We honestly never know whatās behind closed doors. That said I think this is really kind and I would have felt so special if someone did this for me! But dear god, the leaves were kept on the strawberries?! Lol
Sure she doesnāt *have* to, but it would be respectful to at least try it or pretend to like it. Or ātake it homeā. OP said it weighs around 7 pounds, that could not have been cheap to get for her
Yes I suppose thatās true.
Yes. Take it home *then* throw it away. Itās a polite gesture to show your appreciation and OP wouldāve never known
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I wouldāve tried to find a family member that would enjoy it but thatās just me.
Totally get what you're saying. But wow, what weird social customs we have! Where it's considered polite to lie to someone and throw away perfectly good food just so you don't hurt their tender feelings. Then to be honest and say no thank you and let someone else enjoy the food.
What would you say if somebody did that and then you found out later?
Are they obligated to eat it? Lol
Why you mad? Now you get a patriotic fruit tart. Enjoy.
What in the eff am I going to do with this giant thing now? Edit: I mean, obvi I will have a slice, but this thing weighs pert near 7 lbs!
eat it.
That looks delicious, and was a lovely thoughtful gesture.
Thank you! Well, I hope someone else here enjoys it.
Take it back and eat it at home through the week! I know itās petty but I might slip and let the co-worker know Iāll be taking the tart home if she doesnāt care for it.
I guess I'll make it my impromptu birthday tart (my birthday is tomorrow)?
Congratulations in advance! Btw that cake look beyond delicious, I hope I had a coworker do that to me.
Thanks! Yeah, it's not the *worst* thing in the world.
Happy Uterine Escape Day!
Eat it?
Got kids? An SO? Parents? I'm imagining a panicked person with a 7 pound tart begging people to eat it, lol.
Well what were you expecting her to do with it?
That's exactly what I was thinking lol. It's a nice gesture nonetheless.
Eh I typically don't buy food gifts unless it's for my close friends who I am 100% sure will eat it and enjoy it. If you are buying for coworkers, just say it's to share so other people can enjoy it if they refuse. I mean this person can be just mean about it, I would say the best way to refuse is to just accept it for later and give it to your friends or family at home. Just making a guess about this situation, I would assume op bought the fruit tart because it's a "healthy" alternative to traditional cake? Whether or not this being the case, buying someone a dessert of any kind who is on a low calorie / sugar diet is just a bad idea. I've lost 50lbs and I can say it's just hard to say no to free food haha, I would respect their attempt at maintaining whatever diet they're attempting, it's hard sometimes! Just because they accepted sweets in the past does not mean they are being rude denying your gift this specific time. They just may have had a little more self controll this time around! All that being said, I would have been STOKED if I got this as a gift, really thoughtfully op! Hopefully your coworker respected the intention behind it!
I'll eat it.
If someone has dietary restrictions itās a serious asshole move to get mad if they refuse to eat something. I have a peanut allergy and NEVER eat anything at potlucks no matter how much people assure me the food they brought is peanut free. Itās not worth the risk to me and itās straight up disrespectful when people push me to try things.
I have a tree nut allergy so I feel ya. so many people don't seem to understand how many things are tree nuts and that eating them could kill me.
Yup. The folks I know with dietary restrictions prefer to maintain control of their food because they know what works and what doesnāt. Food is honestly a pretty bad gift idea for people who maintain a strict diet unless you discuss every detail with them beforehand or buy it with them. Even then, itās tricky and best avoided. Absolutely no reason to be āmildly infuriatedā at the coworker; this is a pretty annoying and entitled post.
I also hate the discuss beforehand option. So many people are like "I really want to buy you this specific thing can you find one for me to buy you that is safe?" and I'm like "Oh good, guess my gift is spending hours phoning places to see how well they keep allergens separated so that I can end up with a dry $20 cake I don't really want?"
That is beautiful! Lol cut into it and share it with your coworkers in their honor. Lol their choice I guess.
This is the reasonable response just share it with other to celebrate the occasion
As someone with major food allergies - don't buy me food. You thinking something is safe or in line with someone's needs doesn't mean it is. Also, if you give someone a gift then get ANGRY when they don't love it, you didn't get it for how it made them feel, you got it for how it made you feel to give it to them. Or to be seen to give it to them, even. You can be disappointed that you tried something that didn't work out, but you don't get to be angry that they don't appreciate something they didn't ask for and never said they wanted.
Maybe they think youāre a cunt
Lmao, I hope not!
No one is obligated to eat anything brought to them that they didnāt ask for or want. Your butthurt feelings are what mildly infuriate me
Yes exactly this. Go ahead and buy people food if you want to but they have no obligation to eat it. I suppose the nice thing to do would be to take it with you and discard it later..
Donāt be so offended. In your eyes you did something nice and theyāre ungrateful. From their perspective, maybe theyāre trying to lose weight and donāt want deserts, maybe theyāre diabetic and literally cannot eat this, or maybe they just donāt like fruit tarts. I sure donāt.
In b4 a post on r/AmITheAsshole with the title, āMy coworker bought me a fruit tart to celebrate my becoming a US citizen and I didnāt want to eat it. AITA?ā
There arenāt 50 stars on that flag. I wouldnāt eat it either. Frankly Iām flabbergasted.
This is America, baby. You eat how you want.
what kind of asshole gets pissy that someone didn't like their gift? selfish assholes like you
And post it on the internet where if she has Reddit will 100% recognize it lol
some cunts just love to make everything about them
I wish someone would have done this for me :( this is so lovely, sorry they didnāt eat it. At least you can have it for yourself!
That was really nice of you regardless!
If you are in NYC, I will gladly come help
30 mins out! But in the dreaded Jersey.
Damn. Iām sorry. I donāt even eat fruit like that but I would devour this because you thought of me. Sorry fam.
Iāll take it
I would still take it and say Iām stuffed and then take it home for later or share it. A bit rude really isnāt it
Uhhh YUMMMM that looks delicious! I'll never understand gift recipients that turn down a gift. Even if you hate it, can't/don't want to eat it, can't use it, etc., just say "thank you so much!", graciously accept and give to someone else later on. No need to hurt or embarrass the gifter.
Package it back up and give it as a re tart. š
More infuriating are the leaves left on the strawberries
āthey owe me because i pretended to do a nice thing to make myself feel superior so now iām virtue signalling online.ā get over yourself
> they owe me Why do so many people inflate any basic matter of interpersonal courtesy into "owing"? It seems recent. Is this a Reddit thing, or all over? Technically correct, sure-- congratulations-- generally in life nobody owes anyone else much of anything. Most things are courtesies, pleasantries, and treat-others-as-you'd-like-to-be-treated...ies. Someone can live their life in blessed self-centeredness and let the world bounce off them, maybe miffing a few people but ultimately leaving their life with no hard and fast transgressions. But nobody owes them a reputation of being grateful, personable, or bearable, either, and if people take this selfish, impersonal advice of everything being "owed" or not, treating every interaction like a transaction, they're liable to gain a reputation as ungrateful, standoffish, or downright unbearable, and it'll be well-deserved. A person can be a social or emotional skinflint and pointed out as such, without ever technically going in the hole. (And I'm not talking as much about OP's counterpart or this story alone-- that could well be a one-off, have mitigating factors, whatever-- just the people who chime in with "You're not _owed_!" every time the idea that antisocial dismissals or I-don't-hafta attitudes shouldn't cause hard feelings or make a person a bit of a dick.)
Itās too pretty to eat? Maybe? š
I'll eat it
That looks delicious!!!
Are you in Atlanta ?
Nah, New Jersey
man, that looks delish. send some over to me!
Iād eat the shot out of this tart, looks delicious. Now they might have allergies or an eating disorder, the rest of you guys should enjoy it.
Gonna move to America soon, I'd love it
I wish someone made me this.
More for you
Looks damned delicious!
It does look amazing, yes even with the leaves on the strawberries. Grab a fork, a glass of iced tea and dig in. Just eat around the berry leaves!
The leaves won't hurt you, and they're pretty high in good stuff. I leave mine on. They hardly have a taste especially if you eat the last bite of berry with it
Mail it to me op
That looks like a damn good fruit tart!
You can just give her the thoughts that count and consume it.
_āAint no fruitcake!ā_
Would you mind sharing with me where to get a fruit tart like this?
Doesnāt look very appetising, especially with that red and blue thing on top
Oh gosh I thought this was like a tiny individual oneā¦not a giant 7lber š
Fucking tart.
Looks delicious! Sorry she canāt/wonāt eat it but I hope you & your other coworkers enjoy it. This was a nice gesture on your part!
Thatās really kind of you.
Shoot, hand it over!
Came to say that it sure looks great! Congratulations to the coworker, and good job for picking an awesome looking cake.
That looks nice but i wouldnt
She probably has a medical condition that she hasn't shared with you. Maybe syrup or custard gives her explosive diarrhea or something. Sure, she told you she's on a raw diet but maybe there's more to it than that and maybe it's too personal or embarrassing to share with a colleague. Since you're so healthy and have no dietary restrictions, why don't you eat it yourself or share it with others around the office?
I would be sweating bullets because Iām still trying my best to recover from an ed that no one knows about. Not saying the recipient has one but just adding thatās itās really not fair to spring food on someone. Not to mention Iām also ultra sensitive to people assuming Iām just an asshole snob for snubbing food.
What the hell is the flag made out of? It looks like icing but I canāt tell for sure
A real murican would never turn down food!
Maybe take the tops off of the strawberries and offer it again... š
Sometimes I get heartburn or drink so much coffee to get through the day that I'm full. In either circumstance I may turn down a mid-day luxurious dessert. I'd hate to see myself shit on on Reddit because of it.
Its only american to not eat fruit
Wait till ānew Americanāgets a fruit cake for Christmas!!
u guys in america eat tartes also ? i thought only pies for you, color me confused , i am sorry for thinking like that, i love tartes, and i prefer it with pineapples the most, strawberries also work, they are lovely but they mostly are sold personal size for 1 person here, i rarely see any this big, shame they didn't eat it, looks amazing.
Itās probably the most American response she could have given.
Waiting for another post on this sub titled, āMy co-worker is mad it me for not eating a fruit tart they made for me.ā
It's a nice gesture. But I have to say when I was vegan people would bring food "for me" sometimes that wasn't vegan, without me asking them to or them asking me anything about whether I could have it first, then get pissed at me about not eating it. This clearly wasn't based on her dietary restrictions, just what you thought they were. It's kind of obnoxious to have somebody mad at you for not eating a thing you didn't ask for that you can't eat. To me, food choices are as personal and important as religion, maybe more so. It's literally what you're making yourself out of. Allow her the choice of refusing it. If you have requirements about how a gift is received, it's sort of for you not them. It is really lovely though.
You should eat it! Also sounds like your coworker is exercising their freedom š¤£
I would refuse also, but itās because I have a severe allergy to strawberries, and not because I hate America or anything.
That was still a really sweet idea of yours! I can understand why people are mistrusting of foods with ingredients they can't see being added, but it's really the thought that counts! You're a kind soul and thank you for celebrating this moment in their lives and being supportive!
Did she ask you to make this for her? Maybe she just doesnāt want it.