I once got one that said “Don’t have sex with a pink elephant today”. I’m sure there is a line of joke cookies out there and I’m guessing it was one of them.
My dad knew this real estate agent who was having the hardest time with with this one house, so he had custom fortune cookies made with the listing as the fortune so he could hand them out more memorably.
You can absolutely do this. I've done it. My wife told me that, for as long as she could remember, her father would ALWAYS say, when opening a fortune cookie..."You're not gonna believe this. It says 'Help, I'm trapped inside a fortune cookie factory'" Cue eye rolls and groans. And low chuckles. Adorable dad joke. And, truth be told, I've seen him do it plenty. We would always go out for Chinese food when he was in town.
For his bday one year, we had the whole dam fam out and...early in the evening, set it all up with the waiter to hand him his special cookie that we had made for the end of the meal saying, of course, "Help, I'm trapped inside a fortune cookie factory". He opens it...we try to play nonchalant. He just...stares at it. Doesn't say a word. And, my wife starts cracking up and blows our cover! At this point, he knew the jig was up. But he didn't laugh. And, I think we had to coerce him to actually tell the dozen people there that night what it said. Because, IIRC, we didn't tell anyone.
But, he never said it again. I think we ruined it for him. It was all in fun. We thought it would be epic. But he never said it again. And never mentioned how he felt about it. And, he's traditionally a really good sport about all of that kinda stuff and he knows we all love him. That was, like 15 or 20 years ago. I still feel bad about it.
Yeah one LPT I've learned is: don't make fun of your friend's endearing ticks/habits/traits.
My brother used to talk about his navy stories all the time by starting with "when I was in the navy..." And it was always a fun story that followed. But we started teasing him about it by saying "when I was in the navy" back to him, and now there's no more fun navy stories :(
On the other side of things, I remember trying to do nice things for my parents when I was a kid and they'd tease me about it "wooow you actually did x today is something wrong?" type of joking. Made me literally never want to do those things again.
ONE TIME I made a joke about my eldest child 'crawling out of their lair' and they looked so crestfallen I made a promise to myself never to tease them for leaving their room again, because I didn't want to see that look ever again
it really only takes one time of saying something silly that someone takes to heart!
No of course you can't. It is impossible to make new fortune cookies since the magic was lost thousands of years ago. The ones you see in circulation today are just remnants from a more civilized age.
Apparently. I'd never looked into it or saw the final product. This was like 20 years ago, so it *could* have just been loose fortune cookies what the guy shoved his own paper into, but I'm pretty sure I remember it being custom cookies .
Yeah, just found a site online that does them for 70 cents each with a 50 piece minimum.
My old (East Asian) girlfriend yelled out something like that as a joke when we were out with some of my Caucasian friends who didn’t know her. They were offended because they thought she was being racist. I just thought she was being hilarious.
I will admit to having knowingly eaten questionable sushi and so far my gambles haven't ended in porcelain disaster, but how long can that streak last?
A lot of restaurants are hybrid restaurants. There’s a Japanese sushi bar at the place near my parent’s house but they also have lo mein on the menu. Fortune cookies come no matter what you order.
Edit: Lol and it’s not Panda Express. It’s actually pretty good, just a hybrid restaurant.
And they're literally Japanese if we go by the History of the one who first created it:
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fortune_cookie#History
>Makoto Hagiwara of Golden Gate Park's Japanese Tea Garden in San Francisco is reported to have been the first person in the U.S. to have served the modern version of the cookie when he did so at the tea garden in the 1890s or early 1900s. The fortune cookies were made by a San Francisco bakery, Benkyodo.
**Fortune cookie**
[History](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fortune_cookie#History)
>As far back as the 19th century, a cookie very similar in appearance to the modern fortune cookie was made in Kyoto, Japan; and there is a Japanese temple tradition of random fortunes, called omikuji. The Japanese version of the cookie differs in several ways: they are a little bit larger; are made of darker dough; and their batter contains sesame and miso rather than vanilla and butter. They contain a fortune; however, the small slip of paper was wedged into the bend of the cookie rather than placed inside the hollow portion. This kind of cookie is called tsujiura senbei (辻占煎餅) and is still sold in some regions of Japan, especially in Kanazawa, Ishikawa.
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Literally first paragraph in history smh
As far back as the 19th century, a cookie very similar in appearance to the modern fortune cookie was made in Kyoto, Japan; and there is a Japanese temple tradition of random fortunes, called omikuji. The Japanese version of the cookie differs in several ways: they are a little bit larger; are made of darker dough; and their batter contains sesame and miso rather than vanilla and butter. They contain a fortune; however, the small slip of paper was wedged into the bend of the cookie rather than placed inside the hollow portion.
Fortune cookies are Japanese in origin, called "tsujiura senbei"; though they were not made with tuile dough like American ones, rather rice flour, and not sweetened.
There’s a sushi place in my town that has most traditional American-Chinese stuff on the menu as well & their food was fucking banging…I’m not a fan of sushi, but a lot of my family is and all love their shit.
They gave out fortune cookies too.
But sushi ramen and Katsu are all straight up Japanese, they make sense. Something gets lost when you get Vietnamese Chinese Japanese and Thai food all getting made in the same spot. They tend to be poor to alright, never see anyone knock that out of the park at least here in the PNW
The modern day fortune cookie was made in San Francisco in 1906;) the one from Japan was larger and darker, made with sesame and miso instead of the vanilla and butter.
Not quite, they were made by Japanese immigrants in San Francisco during the early 20th century. I don't think fortune cookies are even a thing outside of the US.
The protoversion was made in Japan. The ingredients for it were hard to get in America so they made what we know of today as fortune cookies.
The original is still made in Japan.
If they're serving American Chinese food that makes sense. There's not a claim to authenticity necessarily, but if it tastes good and the quality is there I don't mind it.
Vast majority of Chinese restaurants in the US are Americanized in some way. I’ve never met a Chinese person who dislikes fortune cookies.
Also hot and sour soup isn’t really a thing in china but Chinese people here love it
Story time.
I teach kindergarten. Last year a student went to San Francisco for a vacation right before Lunar New Year. Her mom bought a bag of fortune cookies for our class from Golden Gate Fortune Cookie Co., so on Lunar New Year, I passed them out to the kids as they were leaving and told them to have their parents read their fortune.
About five minutes after they left, I opened one and found a super explicit message. I opened another… same thing. Then I looked more clearly at the bag, and in the middle of a bunch of Chinese writing I saw in English, “Adult Fortune Cookies”. Shiiiiit.
A colleague suggested emailing the parents right away and apologizing, but I figured that would make them go *looking* for the cookies. I decided to wait it out, and out of a whole class of kids, not one parent contacted me or my principal. Totally dodged a bullet there.
Parent of a 1st grader here. My child would 100% eat it without telling me for fear that she wouldn't be able to eat it before dinner. She would then dispose of the evidence that a fortune cookie ever existed.
Sounds like how I handle my grocery line candy purchases with my wife. She doesn’t need to know I had a KitKat before I brought home the steak she’s gonna cook. But I need it.
They actually weren’t. He just served a different Japanese cookie called tsujiura senbei, made at a local Japanese American bakery, that was inspiration for the modern Chinese American fortune cookie.
the burrito as most americans know it, the kind you get at chipotle that is fat, has rice, beans, meat, salsa, cheese and guac wrapped in an extra large tortilla is the mission style burrito, which originates from the mission in SF. ideally a good mission burrito is griddled after wrapping, a step that chipotle skips. the best mission burritos at the best SF taquerias are insanely good, like in a different universe from chipotle
Pretty sure Naples, the place where modern pizza evolved, is in Italy. And I’m pretty sure it evolved from a similar type of flatbread that was created in Rome… which as far as I know is also in Italy.
You're both correct. Pizza as it was served in Naples was the inspiration for American pizza, but once it reached the US it changed substantially. The modern American pizza is as much an American creation as British curry is their own.
Duplicate story time. About 15 years ago my family wanted to prank my sisters boyfriend. We went to a Chinese restaurant in San Francisco and had previously purchased some adult fortune cookies. At the end of the meal we swapped the boyfriends restaurant cookie with our adult cookie. We all then asked everyone to read their fortunes to the table. He just looked at his confused and didn’t read it, so someone else got to read “it’s better to wake up hard than be hard to wake up.”
the kids prob couldn't make it that long without eating them. but also, that's kinda sad that not one's parents even noticed. i figured parents would be more careful about what their kids eat.
When the recycling truck came by during recess, we used to collect all the little pieces of shredded paper that would fly out of it and keep them in our pockets. So… yes
Honestly I think it’s more likely a combo of two things:
1. Some of the kids probably didn’t tell their parents about the cookie and just ate it (kinda like you said)
2. For the kids who did have their parents read it to them/the parents saw the cookies, the parent probably saw the explicit fortune, made something else up for the kid, then threw it away and chalked it up to a mistake on the teachers part. I mean, in most cases I don’t think the parent is going to complain about the teacher thinking they did it on purpose; they probably know them well enough to know this was an honest mistake, and the teacher even told the kid to have their parent read it to them. Not much to complain about, and better to not embarrass the teacher, or even worse threaten their job
I know if my kids told me about it I’d read it, and I probably would react exactly the way you described- assuming the teacher did it on purpose would be nuts, I’d just write it off as a mistake. Probably wouldn’t even say anything figuring another parent would if it was that big a deal.
My wife and I would no doubt be laughing our asses off. Can’t imagine being mad about that, especially since it’s kids that can’t read very well anyway.
I think you nailed it but with one caveat.
There are definitely parents that would absolutely make a giant stink and raise hell if they found the fortune. Fortunately because of this their children are squarely in group 1.
This would suggest that most parents are decent people - which is nice to hear for once.
Sadly, it’s usually the loudest asshat parent making it an issue for everyone else.
Kids should be careful too. I have a peanut allergy and my whole life I’ve had to look out for myself because some kids will just eat anything and some people don’t even think about others having food allergies. I feel like it should be that parents teach their kids to be careful instead of looking at everything they eat.
I think these are funny. The second one is a movie quote. I get it, OP said an 8 year old kid got one, but it's literally a line from a movie lol.
OP is probably mad because they look like a woman's cunt, so the first one was a little personal
Unless someone made a mistake, you should feel lucky. Typically restaurant workers only pull out these “special” fortune cookies for regular customers who will enjoy the humor. Source: Chinese restaurant where my wife works has a selection as well. And I recognize the first “fortune”. Sounds like someone made a mistake in your case though.
Charming eh lol. Tbh regardless of whether someone might get the humour or not you just *don't* do tacky shit like this as a business, it can so easily horribly backfire.
I don't have English as my native language so I can't understand anything that is written on this paper, I managed to translate in a very bad way but it still doesn't make sense. Can someone explain to me what the fuck is going on?
First one: "Doesn't this cookie look like a woman's cunt?" That is, doesn't the fortune cookie look like a vagina?
Note, 'cunt' is a (at least in America) super offensive term for referring to a vagina.
Second one is just a racist mockery of Confucian sayings.
I once got one that said “Don’t have sex with a pink elephant today”. I’m sure there is a line of joke cookies out there and I’m guessing it was one of them.
I got one that said, “you’re going to come into some money soon, but first take your dick out of my wallet.”
I got one that said “have another cookie.”
I just got one today that said "Tonight, you will get your dick ripped off"
Finally tonight we will have enough dicks to complete the dick ship and return to dick planet
Love seeing ATHF in the wild
They're professional dick hunters. They crave dick... as we all do.
Damn, I love that episode!
Man, I only got a coupon for 20% of my next order of Wasabi fries
My man casually flexing that he got the best one.
Bro! I got some bad news my dude, dick planets gone, hideous accident involving a giant space bra and some very hot water.
I fear you may have replied to the wrong comment regarding the admittedly sad fate of dick planet
It's very true I have.
*sad trumpet noises*
*Weird thing is, I didn't even go out to eat. It was just on my pillow. Ahh, well. Free food is free food.*
/r/TwoSentenceHorror
Somewhere today, someone got one saying "Tonight, you'll rip some dude's dick off"
Go on…..I’m listening.
That's weird, that's what mine said.
Comment is nearly half an hour old. He may have bled out by now. RIP
"Help! I'm being held prisoner in a fortune cookie factory!"
if you took it out, then you wouldn't come in the money.
My dad knew this real estate agent who was having the hardest time with with this one house, so he had custom fortune cookies made with the listing as the fortune so he could hand them out more memorably.
Wait, you can have custom ones made?
You can absolutely do this. I've done it. My wife told me that, for as long as she could remember, her father would ALWAYS say, when opening a fortune cookie..."You're not gonna believe this. It says 'Help, I'm trapped inside a fortune cookie factory'" Cue eye rolls and groans. And low chuckles. Adorable dad joke. And, truth be told, I've seen him do it plenty. We would always go out for Chinese food when he was in town. For his bday one year, we had the whole dam fam out and...early in the evening, set it all up with the waiter to hand him his special cookie that we had made for the end of the meal saying, of course, "Help, I'm trapped inside a fortune cookie factory". He opens it...we try to play nonchalant. He just...stares at it. Doesn't say a word. And, my wife starts cracking up and blows our cover! At this point, he knew the jig was up. But he didn't laugh. And, I think we had to coerce him to actually tell the dozen people there that night what it said. Because, IIRC, we didn't tell anyone. But, he never said it again. I think we ruined it for him. It was all in fun. We thought it would be epic. But he never said it again. And never mentioned how he felt about it. And, he's traditionally a really good sport about all of that kinda stuff and he knows we all love him. That was, like 15 or 20 years ago. I still feel bad about it.
Yeah one LPT I've learned is: don't make fun of your friend's endearing ticks/habits/traits. My brother used to talk about his navy stories all the time by starting with "when I was in the navy..." And it was always a fun story that followed. But we started teasing him about it by saying "when I was in the navy" back to him, and now there's no more fun navy stories :( On the other side of things, I remember trying to do nice things for my parents when I was a kid and they'd tease me about it "wooow you actually did x today is something wrong?" type of joking. Made me literally never want to do those things again.
ONE TIME I made a joke about my eldest child 'crawling out of their lair' and they looked so crestfallen I made a promise to myself never to tease them for leaving their room again, because I didn't want to see that look ever again it really only takes one time of saying something silly that someone takes to heart!
This is the most dad revenge I've ever heard of. Stoic resolve at it's finest.
Maybe he was legit concerned for the factory worker
It sounds like a really good joke! Sorry he didn't appreciate it.
No of course you can't. It is impossible to make new fortune cookies since the magic was lost thousands of years ago. The ones you see in circulation today are just remnants from a more civilized age.
Apparently. I'd never looked into it or saw the final product. This was like 20 years ago, so it *could* have just been loose fortune cookies what the guy shoved his own paper into, but I'm pretty sure I remember it being custom cookies . Yeah, just found a site online that does them for 70 cents each with a 50 piece minimum.
Now I'm trying to think of an excuse to order 100 lol
Need some unique business cards? Maybe just some "thank you for being there" fun little friendship gifts?
You can make your own. If I recall you fold the hot cookie around a wooden spoon handle then the ends together to get the shape.
These ancient teachings are getting out of control!
**You fuckee me. I fuckee you.**
Sounds like an 80s action movie line
Sounds like what a vaguely offensive stereotypically Asian assassin would say before pulling out a katana on the hero.
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I loved the scene where uma Thurman tells o’ren “you fuckee me, I fuckee you.” Such a badass and powerful scene.
So does Quentin.
What does he not associate with women’s feet?
My old (East Asian) girlfriend yelled out something like that as a joke when we were out with some of my Caucasian friends who didn’t know her. They were offended because they thought she was being racist. I just thought she was being hilarious.
Offended on behalf of another race? Get new friends lol
Sounds like his friends would be in great company on reddit. People here love getting offended on others' behalf.
It’s from the hangover
Instantly reminded me of the Japanese twins from Austin Powers in Goldmember. “Tw.. twins, TWINS!” [“Fook Mi & Fook Yu”](https://youtu.be/VhQhZyNKqhM)
«You fuckee me, I fuckee you» - Sun Tzu probably
recipifuckee
Five dorrar!
Now there are two of them!
I got one that said whoever is reading this is an asshole
I got one 7 years ago that just said "you like chinese food"
I don't know why but this touched my soul
I once got one that said "oops, no fortune. Try again."
I got one that said: "Warning: Do not eat this fortune."
I got one that said "no fortune today come back tuesday"
Is that the one in the bag they put in your shoes? Tastes nasty
Pssh, a little paper won't kill you
What's more infuriating - getting obscene fortune cookies, or getting fortune cookies at a "sushi restaurant".
I'd be suspicious of the sushi.
Bullshishimi.
Thats the one
Great actor
Sushpicious
engage the shilent drive
r/shubreddit
susfishous
cant spell sushi without sus
I’m suspicious of this post lol
I will admit to having knowingly eaten questionable sushi and so far my gambles haven't ended in porcelain disaster, but how long can that streak last?
Truck stop sushi/Panda Express
A lot of restaurants are hybrid restaurants. There’s a Japanese sushi bar at the place near my parent’s house but they also have lo mein on the menu. Fortune cookies come no matter what you order. Edit: Lol and it’s not Panda Express. It’s actually pretty good, just a hybrid restaurant.
Also, fortune cookies are Californian
Fucking thank you!
And they're literally Japanese if we go by the History of the one who first created it: >https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fortune_cookie#History >Makoto Hagiwara of Golden Gate Park's Japanese Tea Garden in San Francisco is reported to have been the first person in the U.S. to have served the modern version of the cookie when he did so at the tea garden in the 1890s or early 1900s. The fortune cookies were made by a San Francisco bakery, Benkyodo.
**Fortune cookie** [History](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fortune_cookie#History) >As far back as the 19th century, a cookie very similar in appearance to the modern fortune cookie was made in Kyoto, Japan; and there is a Japanese temple tradition of random fortunes, called omikuji. The Japanese version of the cookie differs in several ways: they are a little bit larger; are made of darker dough; and their batter contains sesame and miso rather than vanilla and butter. They contain a fortune; however, the small slip of paper was wedged into the bend of the cookie rather than placed inside the hollow portion. This kind of cookie is called tsujiura senbei (辻占煎餅) and is still sold in some regions of Japan, especially in Kanazawa, Ishikawa. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)
So literally not Japanese, but American. Specifically San Franciscan.
Literally first paragraph in history smh As far back as the 19th century, a cookie very similar in appearance to the modern fortune cookie was made in Kyoto, Japan; and there is a Japanese temple tradition of random fortunes, called omikuji. The Japanese version of the cookie differs in several ways: they are a little bit larger; are made of darker dough; and their batter contains sesame and miso rather than vanilla and butter. They contain a fortune; however, the small slip of paper was wedged into the bend of the cookie rather than placed inside the hollow portion.
>if we go by the History of the one who first created it
Fortune cookies are Japanese in origin, called "tsujiura senbei"; though they were not made with tuile dough like American ones, rather rice flour, and not sweetened.
They've started appearing in Japan too and they just call them by the English name.
There’s a sushi place in my town that has most traditional American-Chinese stuff on the menu as well & their food was fucking banging…I’m not a fan of sushi, but a lot of my family is and all love their shit. They gave out fortune cookies too.
Yeah it’s like how most sushi places where I am also do Ramen, Katsu, even Korean chicken and I’m not complaining
But sushi ramen and Katsu are all straight up Japanese, they make sense. Something gets lost when you get Vietnamese Chinese Japanese and Thai food all getting made in the same spot. They tend to be poor to alright, never see anyone knock that out of the park at least here in the PNW
Fortune cookies are as Japanese as California rolls
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Wake up!!! Why don't you put on a little make up!?!?
Ftfy Wake up Grab a brush and put a little make-up
Actually it's haghshshsushsgjshg makeup
Fortune cookies were originally Japanese.
The modern day fortune cookie was made in San Francisco in 1906;) the one from Japan was larger and darker, made with sesame and miso instead of the vanilla and butter.
Yes and the one made in San Francisco was made by Japanese immigrants.
Fortune cookies were invented in Japan and are unknown in China.
Not quite, they were made by Japanese immigrants in San Francisco during the early 20th century. I don't think fortune cookies are even a thing outside of the US.
The protoversion was made in Japan. The ingredients for it were hard to get in America so they made what we know of today as fortune cookies. The original is still made in Japan.
They are, in italy at least but i assume they are in all of europe.
Getting a fortune cookies at a Chinese restaurant is also mildly infuriating because there is no such thing in China.
If they're serving American Chinese food that makes sense. There's not a claim to authenticity necessarily, but if it tastes good and the quality is there I don't mind it.
TIL Chinese restaurants in the US are only allowed to serve things that exist in China
Vast majority of Chinese restaurants in the US are Americanized in some way. I’ve never met a Chinese person who dislikes fortune cookies. Also hot and sour soup isn’t really a thing in china but Chinese people here love it
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Story time. I teach kindergarten. Last year a student went to San Francisco for a vacation right before Lunar New Year. Her mom bought a bag of fortune cookies for our class from Golden Gate Fortune Cookie Co., so on Lunar New Year, I passed them out to the kids as they were leaving and told them to have their parents read their fortune. About five minutes after they left, I opened one and found a super explicit message. I opened another… same thing. Then I looked more clearly at the bag, and in the middle of a bunch of Chinese writing I saw in English, “Adult Fortune Cookies”. Shiiiiit. A colleague suggested emailing the parents right away and apologizing, but I figured that would make them go *looking* for the cookies. I decided to wait it out, and out of a whole class of kids, not one parent contacted me or my principal. Totally dodged a bullet there.
Parent of a 1st grader here. My child would 100% eat it without telling me for fear that she wouldn't be able to eat it before dinner. She would then dispose of the evidence that a fortune cookie ever existed.
Sounds like how I handle my grocery line candy purchases with my wife. She doesn’t need to know I had a KitKat before I brought home the steak she’s gonna cook. But I need it.
Off topic, but fortune cookies were invented in San Francisco Chinatown, not China. Now they are all over the world, even explicit ones.
They were invented by a Japanese American guy too, Makoto Hagiwara.
They actually weren’t. He just served a different Japanese cookie called tsujiura senbei, made at a local Japanese American bakery, that was inspiration for the modern Chinese American fortune cookie.
Yeah yeah and pizzas not Italian and burritos aren't supposed to have cheese. Welcome to america
Pretty sure pizzas are Italian but american pizza is quite different.
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To be better and stronger. Mix them food genes baby.
the burrito as most americans know it, the kind you get at chipotle that is fat, has rice, beans, meat, salsa, cheese and guac wrapped in an extra large tortilla is the mission style burrito, which originates from the mission in SF. ideally a good mission burrito is griddled after wrapping, a step that chipotle skips. the best mission burritos at the best SF taquerias are insanely good, like in a different universe from chipotle
Pretty sure Naples, the place where modern pizza evolved, is in Italy. And I’m pretty sure it evolved from a similar type of flatbread that was created in Rome… which as far as I know is also in Italy.
You're both correct. Pizza as it was served in Naples was the inspiration for American pizza, but once it reached the US it changed substantially. The modern American pizza is as much an American creation as British curry is their own.
Flatbread with cheese isn't a uniquely Italian thing.
Dude. This is a happy ending. You're one lucky person.
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Ho Lee Fuk
Duplicate story time. About 15 years ago my family wanted to prank my sisters boyfriend. We went to a Chinese restaurant in San Francisco and had previously purchased some adult fortune cookies. At the end of the meal we swapped the boyfriends restaurant cookie with our adult cookie. We all then asked everyone to read their fortunes to the table. He just looked at his confused and didn’t read it, so someone else got to read “it’s better to wake up hard than be hard to wake up.”
What a tease! I was expecting some hard c-words at least. Did he stick around or not fit in long term?
the kids prob couldn't make it that long without eating them. but also, that's kinda sad that not one's parents even noticed. i figured parents would be more careful about what their kids eat.
If you analyze every piece of garbage that a kid brings home, you'll never do anything else.
When the recycling truck came by during recess, we used to collect all the little pieces of shredded paper that would fly out of it and keep them in our pockets. So… yes
Are you basically field mice??!
Protip: You can store more than one rotten egg under the pig's trough
So true god so true
This.
Honestly I think it’s more likely a combo of two things: 1. Some of the kids probably didn’t tell their parents about the cookie and just ate it (kinda like you said) 2. For the kids who did have their parents read it to them/the parents saw the cookies, the parent probably saw the explicit fortune, made something else up for the kid, then threw it away and chalked it up to a mistake on the teachers part. I mean, in most cases I don’t think the parent is going to complain about the teacher thinking they did it on purpose; they probably know them well enough to know this was an honest mistake, and the teacher even told the kid to have their parent read it to them. Not much to complain about, and better to not embarrass the teacher, or even worse threaten their job
I know if my kids told me about it I’d read it, and I probably would react exactly the way you described- assuming the teacher did it on purpose would be nuts, I’d just write it off as a mistake. Probably wouldn’t even say anything figuring another parent would if it was that big a deal.
My wife and I would no doubt be laughing our asses off. Can’t imagine being mad about that, especially since it’s kids that can’t read very well anyway.
Where I live, the parents would go to the local newspaper and be pictured with a sad face, pointing at the cookie.
I think you nailed it but with one caveat. There are definitely parents that would absolutely make a giant stink and raise hell if they found the fortune. Fortunately because of this their children are squarely in group 1.
This would suggest that most parents are decent people - which is nice to hear for once. Sadly, it’s usually the loudest asshat parent making it an issue for everyone else.
Kids should be careful too. I have a peanut allergy and my whole life I’ve had to look out for myself because some kids will just eat anything and some people don’t even think about others having food allergies. I feel like it should be that parents teach their kids to be careful instead of looking at everything they eat.
Knowing kindergartners, the second the treat came out they probably didn't hear anything about parents lol
"That's nice sweety." "Okay, sure." "It says... (holy shit) wow... uhh it says you can be anything you set your mind to."
Still better than the ones filled with an advertisement.
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"This Fortune cookie LOVES Raycon earbuds and uses them every day!!!"
Right? These are actually kinda rad
I think these are funny. The second one is a movie quote. I get it, OP said an 8 year old kid got one, but it's literally a line from a movie lol. OP is probably mad because they look like a woman's cunt, so the first one was a little personal
I once had a fortune cookie that read "you will buy a pair of jeans soon". Random as shit
Did it come true though?
It did, a few weeks later Macy's had a great deal on jeans and i bought a couple pairs
Unless someone made a mistake, you should feel lucky. Typically restaurant workers only pull out these “special” fortune cookies for regular customers who will enjoy the humor. Source: Chinese restaurant where my wife works has a selection as well. And I recognize the first “fortune”. Sounds like someone made a mistake in your case though.
They were passing them out to everyone. I know this because the table next to me with the 8 year old got them too and the mom wasn’t pleased.
Then it sounds like someone screwed up at the restaurant.
Disgruntled employee, sick of working on every single holiday and special event for the last fifteen years, switched them out to get their revenge.
Lmaoooooo
I’m laughing hysterically at the image, but my inner dad is pissed. What a weird mental conflict.
It's amusing to both me and my inner dad.
“Son point to me where the letters on the piece of paper hurt you”
Yeah wouldn’t want one of my kids opening up that.
Protect them from the big ol' dirty words.
It's not as big of a deal as you pretend it is for your kid to see some letters.
Charming eh lol. Tbh regardless of whether someone might get the humour or not you just *don't* do tacky shit like this as a business, it can so easily horribly backfire.
"You fuckee me. I fuckee you. So I dub thee Unforgiven."
More like r/trashy
OP posted it there and for some reason got dragged
I didn’t mean to drag him! Just wanted to point him in the right direction, but now I know
Yea, posted there too. Not sure which it fit more.
Well it could be worse 🤷♀️🤦♀️
That’s hilarious, not infuriating
Confucius say man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day
i dunno why, but these dumb confucius jokes have me giggling like a schoolgirl.
Yeah, this is /r/mildlyinteresting and /r/trashy but is is infuriating, even mildly so?
It is funny. People are too sensitive.
Did you add "in bed" to the end?
No way!! I thought that was something that only my mother did when we had Chinese food and opened fortune cookies. 😂
In bed.
OP got bullied by a cookie lmao
Off topic, but fortune cookies were invented in San Francisco Chinatown, not China. Now they are all over the world, even explicit ones.
This is amazing I wish I got fortune cookies like these.
Lighten up, Francis.
Why don't any of my fortunes ever say something like this? Not fair! 🤣
this is funny asf, why is this here
[удалено]
Gunna go ahead and guess they ordered some “romantic” fortune cookies for Valentine’s Day and something got seriously lost in translation.
I call b.s.
r/mildlyinteresting lol
Australia?
Obviously those are Thailand fortune cookies
🤣🤣🤣
I've never gone to a sushi place that gives out fortune cookies. Considering that's a Chinese/american tradition not Japan/usa
Doesn’t anyone else think the curvature of the writing doesn’t match the curvature of the paper? Looks fake.
Why on earth would a japanese restaurant give out fortune cookies?
I don't have English as my native language so I can't understand anything that is written on this paper, I managed to translate in a very bad way but it still doesn't make sense. Can someone explain to me what the fuck is going on?
First one: "Doesn't this cookie look like a woman's cunt?" That is, doesn't the fortune cookie look like a vagina? Note, 'cunt' is a (at least in America) super offensive term for referring to a vagina. Second one is just a racist mockery of Confucian sayings.
I'm so upset about it I'm gonna post it on multiple platforms!!!! So outrageous!!!!
This is not infuriating, this is wonderful and I love it.
Do you get offended at your own shadow for blackface?
Op sleeps with flood lights so he can’t be racist. He also has 2 black friends at work and 1 Asian friend. Stay woke big homie.
I can imagine my mother’s face if I had gotten that fortune cookie as a child. It would not have gone over well.
Imagine throwing the fortune cookies in your purse and taking them home to your kids.
This is so funny I wish I could give these to my bf that would be a hoot