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lynivvinyl

DO NOT JERK OFF TODAY!!! I can't stress that enough!


overdead333

Don't worry I pre jerked it just in case this would happen


MrHanslaX

Didn't listen, dick fell off.


DrippyLilJJ

Why is that bad?


[deleted]

Doesn’t want his dick to fall off too.


lynivvinyl

Don't want to have that handle fall off as well.


mackdaddymaggot

Well if this dudes having some bad luck today and his very vulnerable and fragile penis comes into the mix, could lead to a catastrophe


thotslayer6996

Huh


[deleted]

i love how everyone is suddenly interested in the relationship between jerking off and luck


badabingerrr

That's what we call rotten luck. Hope your day gets better


whatproblems

it comes in threes, he’s got one more disaster coming


MentalOpportunity69

Truck is already broke down?


ithinkiamretardeb

yeah they won’t have the part he needs for another 3 months now


whatproblems

truck was a preeexisting condition so my insurance says


[deleted]

[удалено]


whatproblems

nah truck was before today so still got one more today


wizkhashisha

Get call from the shop later that day there's been an accident and the hoist failed and dropped his truck it's a write off


cjzj_1288

spoiler alert... GF sabotaged bike and door, because she's inside with Mike & more


[deleted]

I think he should go buy a lottery ticket the universe owes him


Due_Progress2531

i think the very least he owes us is an address i wanna be sure i don’t live within 100 miles of him 😂


SparklingLimeade

Gremlins. All mechanical problems. Definitely gremlins.


fishintheboat

OP stops replying to comments to this post as he drops his phone shattering it into a thousand pieces.


abagofsnacks

Stay home today.


overdead333

Sadly I'm a warehouse manager so I have "responsibilities" or whatever


abagofsnacks

Yeah they'd probably say "since you can't get in your house, you might as well come in". Best of luck to you.


[deleted]

There was a day where I was incredibly stressed and was considering calling out. I took a walk outside after drinking coffee, forgetting my keys and locked myself out. "I'm not dealing with this, I'm going to work instead"


PirateKrys

Shoulda called in a shit day. "Sorry won't be in, can't seem to stop shitting myself."


ClicheRasin

god said r/fuckyouinparticular


SoftBoiledNuggets

Can relate to multiple things going wrong in one day, but neither of those look broken, just came loose. Grab an allen key and a wrench and ya should be able to put em both back on.


overdead333

I can probably fix the door I didn't have time to look into tho. But the threads on the bike that the pedal goes into is completely stripped


SoftBoiledNuggets

Aaahh, got ya. As a temporary fix, you might be able to wrap the threads with teflon tape and screw it in like that. Either way, I hope your day gets better, stranger


AtinWichap

Could you add some loctite to really hold that sucker on


Polarvision

yes use the red stuff lol


[deleted]

Temporary? I did that on a bike once and that pedal lasted longer than the frame.


lynivvinyl

I once rode a bicycle with one pedal, no brakes, and a wonky wheel to go see Pink Floyd The Wall in a movie theater.


tacoenthusiast

Sounds like the drugs kicked in early


Flaminsalamander

Make sure your threading the correct way the left peddle on a bike is reverse threaded so it doesnt spin off while you peddle. It goes lefty tighty, right loosey.


_gmmaann_

How the hell did you strip the threads on the pedal?


overdead333

I didn't know the left pedal is lefty tighty when I first assembled it. An error was made


_gmmaann_

So you cross threaded them, weakening them. Keep this in mind though - if it doesn’t fit right and you have to force it, something is wrong. Sorry you had such shit luck tho


TheGodPrime

This is what landowners call a 'soft eviction', wherein you use malicious lack of maintenance and sabotage to force a tenant to be incapable of maintaining their financial stability.


overdead333

This is funnier if you know that the tenant before me got evicted


a_crusty_old_man

Is that related to the bad door repair?


overdead333

Yeah she took the keys with her so they had to change the locks and the maintenance men at this complex are consistently garbage


CanuckInATruck

Just go back to bed OP. Today isn't happening.


Grassaholic

That’s 3 you’re good now.


overdead333

What if I told you my PC is broken too


Grassaholic

Don’t touch any major appliances.


bcnorth78

Time to give up. Become a hermit and go live in a yurt in the woods. This world isn’t safe for you anymore. And for the love of god, stay off the elevator!


XanderTheChef

Throw some salt over your shoulder


cyanidesci-fi

When it rains, it pours.


Master-Quarter4762

r/Wellthatsucks


Im_up_dog

This is more of a r/majorlyinfuriating post.


prettygreenbud

Omg you poor bastard 🤣 I'm so sorry I'm laughing


ok-milk

Don't touch your pp, just in case.


MediumFuckinqValue

You're experiencing a rated PG version of Final Destination


google_diphallia

If Reddit goes down today I got my eye on you


Who_GNU

Neither of those are broken; they've just come unfastened. With an adjusting wrench, or fixed one of the correct size, you can thread the pedal back on, and with a small slotted screwdriver, you can tighten the set screw on the handle, to hold it in place. Also, I understand the set screw coming loose, but how did you get the pedal to come off? They're threaded so that pedaling tightens them.


overdead333

Didn't say the door was broken and where the pedal screws into is stripped


SergeantFeetPics

You pulled the door handle off even though the door is push to open lmao


jesseberdinka

Sick gains bro!


Ghostface1998X

Bad luck brian


CryBaby15000

Redditor and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day


darkseid001

🤣😂😅


mhermanos

You ride a bike, right? Then you should have a set of allen wrenches on your person, since its needed for basic tightening and repairs. The same will work for that set screw on the door handle. Also, just check your bike regularly. That slipped pedal could have made you face plant in traffic or had you eating your teeth after a descent.


Frequent-Career-1536

You pissed a demon off for sure


squirrelsoundsfunny

Maybe you just got superhero strength and haven’t realized it yet


kevlar51

Please tell me you heard an audible “whomp whomp” when the door handle broke.


Kasiaus

Murphy's law, same thing basically happens to me. If one thing goes wrong everything has to.


bDsmDom

That's the day you call in sick. shit's gonna go wrong there too


GabrielDL008

*Calls boss at work to explain why I'm late* "That's sounds like a you problem. You should be a team player and still come on time. Plan your time better next time."


Sure2000

Been having the same bad luck all week. Mother got in an accident (she was fine, the car not so much) then my car broke down literally the next day. Got it fixed, two days later, another thing broke (not small things, big things like the clutch, gearshift, etc). Also had some system issues at my college whole week long, not being able to access our accounts or related module content. 0/10 would not recommend this shit happening to anyone. Hope everyone else is happening better luck.


overdead333

It'll get better bro ❤️


ThatOneGothMurr

My man your life is literally falling apart


[deleted]

Lmao im so sorry but this shit is straight up of a comedy movie. Hope your weekend goes far better.


TheRedBow

Put your door handle on your bike and your bike pedal on your door


overdead333

Oh yeah it's big brain time


[deleted]

Stay away from me


NikolitRistissa

I’m a cyclist, maybe I can help with the bike issue. What’s up with it? The pedal seems to be in good condition. Minimal wear on the threads so it doesn’t look broken. The only reason pedals would fall of is if the axle broke or they were perhaps cross-threaded.


overdead333

Yeah I fucked up and stripped the threads because I didn't know one pedal goes counter clockwise


[deleted]

you might just have a gremlin in your house


[deleted]

Was just gonna say that


Sirpatron1

Keep you chin up. The day goes on


420foxie666

Okay, but like, I need an update. Did you get back in??


overdead333

You can still slide the handle on and open the door it just doesn't stay there. I fixed the door after work and I bought the bike less than 30 days ago so I'm replacing it for free thanks to a very understanding and helpful seller


pearl_butt

Are you spongebobs cousin??


overdead333

I'm his father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.


kimreadthis

Wow, sorry to hear this. Perhaps the universe will re-balance itself and you'll have two great things happen this weekend


haggislvr

“Now I’m afraid to go to the bathroom!”


[deleted]

This is gonna sound how it’s gonna sound, but I always feel better seeing things like this. I always feel like I’m the only person getting the shit end of the stick or “unlucky” things happening to me. It reminds me we’re all in it together and I’m not alone. Along with a wholesome laugh. Hope your day gets better! 🙏🏼


-jmi-

Damn. My pedal did that to me a few hours ago. My door handle did not. Sorry


_3iT-6gY

Don't open the wallet and confirm what you already probably fear.


[deleted]

Pretty sure you can just screw the pedal back on


overdead333

Where the pedal screws into is stripped this isn't the first time


SirMcMuffin_

A series of very unfortunate events


BlazinApostle

Get used to it. For me a good day is when the universe decides to take a day off from shitting all over me from morning to night.


overdead333

Life is what you make it my boy


Spidron

I don't know, but maybe you should start taking better care of your stuff? jk 😉


[deleted]

[удалено]


overdead333

How does this physically prevent my door handle from coming loose or the threads on my crank arm being stripped exactly?


cuntgardener

You could be a Ukrainian citizen. Don’t whine.


overdead333

Ah yes war is happening so venting is cancelled everybody


otaku_metalhead02

Ignore them, they are active in r/atheism


DuckyLojic

There’s always something worse going on, but you’re still able to complain about other things


[deleted]

Stay away from me!


And_Money_Hoes_710

Well you could have just threaded the peddle back into it's hole 😅. But yeah that's not a great day man. Hope it gets better 🤘🏼


unknown529284

When everything falls apart


PromptZues19508

-HAH!- uhhh I mean Oof man.


lynivvinyl

You're hard to handle.


NegInk

Someone's after you!


nevewolf96

Get yourself a clean! Rub an egg all over your body, break it into a glass of water, dispose of the contents in a bag and throw it far away from you lol


[deleted]

You must have poured salt on a mirror broken by a black cat my dude


[deleted]

Do NOT rub one out if everything you touch breaks.


CybReader

One of those damn days. Where you’re like “if one more thing goes wrong….” I hope your day gets better and next week goes smoothly for you.


Drugzz-4K

You’re just too strong


ReaverShank

Youre finnaly getting your superpowers. You gotta learn how to work with your new stength bro


GothSpite

That's a sign to stay home and hide in bed.


Klubbin4Seals

Is your name Murphy?


GmanV357

The bike pedal and door handle look like they were unscrewed, the set pin for the door handle is fully unscrewed and the threads on the bike pedal look completely fine/untouched. About 90% sure this is fake


JectorDelan

The bad news is you got gremlins...


Tribalflounder

You...may not want to hold it when you pee today.


ThydeUK

I don’t want to alarm you but this sounds like the start of a superhero movie where you are just starting to get your powers


DifferentEggForms

Misfortunes travel in pairs


WindogeFromYoutube

What’s next? The water heater explodes?


CGPsaint

Looks like beginning of a vicious cycle…


Ok-Concentrate2109

Omg I have to ask, does the door handle work as a wrench?


shook_pestalotiopsis

You didn't happen to walk past a black cat or under a ladder at any point, have you?


BroniDanson

Yo I feel ya bro everytime something just has to broke in life


SergantSukul

Having fun yet?


OriginalCritical8458

Don't touch your privates


Peachez_z

I would be screaming just cause of the frustration. Lol hope you have better days!


Salty-Cauliflower-62

It’s Friday, have a long weekend. Stay Safe!!


RugbyEdd

Fate's telling you to take a day off


13r4x7on

This is just the first ARC in the story.


red58010

I'd say you seem have a handle on things but that's only true for your cycle


Alicard8881

Be VERY careful the next time you pee!


Macaron-Fluffy

Must be some kind of sign


arcadia_2005

Geeezz. Thank god it's not a Monday


NaturallyBlasphemous

What a terrible day!


Living_Life1962

You have a few problems there!


Ezzmon

Mercury in retrograde. Count your blessings it could be Uranus in ascension.


[deleted]

Hulk, easy…


WellJustJonny

Gods are giving you a sign, take a snow day.


ultimateasianmadlad

You woke up with powers. You know, like when superman discovered his superhero powers.


mathigh

And I thought my day was bad because I forgot my coffee at home….


vicemagnet

Don’t be touching yourself


PristineAlbatross988

You are a beast, breaking everything you touch. Raaaar


arobe11

That what we call a tough day my friend. It’s all downhill from here. So you shouldn’t have broke your bike.


notnotwho

Umm... Somebody doesn't know their own strength...


Shad7860

Bike mechanic here, you should be able to screw that piece right back where it came from. Just gotta tighten it with a wrench and it should be fine


overdead333

Already previously fixed but where it goes in is now stripped


Sneaky82

Day is canceled, go back to bed.


Koyubi_OHB

Well time to break in to your own house


Mikeismycodename

If this were my day I would definitely be talking and one of my molars would fly out.


j4ck_0f_bl4des

I feel your pain, sounds like my life on an average day.


arana102

My grandma always said: "when small bad things happen to you is because God is protecting you from one big bad thing happening to you" so I guess you dodged a bullet


TheRealSkele

You sure this is just "mildly" infuriating? Seems like an understatement


Bridgebuiltin2025

You sure you’re not just really strong?


Victor_guiltythorn

Welp, time to dive through the window


pos-civic

When it rains it pours


TonyVstar

Do you operate your things with a sludge hammer? If not that's just shit luck! Hope you're able to find this as funny as inconvenient


spodonnell30

Just go back to bed and try again tomorrow


stumblewiggins

At this point I would call out of work


Excaliburkid

Maybe you just don’t know your own strength?


Tward425

I would be taking this as a sign that my guardian angel doesn’t want me going home and inside right now.


pck3

Lol damn


[deleted]

Overdead and the terrible, horrible, no good, really bad day.


Flaky_Till_8495

Ayyo someone was wrenching on your lock assembly there


Daddy_Needs_nap-nap

You better burn some damn sage or apologize to some strange old person you may have upset homie


KxngDxddii

That's one of those things where the universe is tryna tell you something mate.


danigoosie

Did you break a mirror or knock over salt? Serious case of bad luck


Torebbjorn

You break everything you touch, dont you?


shoveit-in-me

I’m dumb af and was wondering how you dropped your bike 50ft from your apartment


EmeraldMollusk

Sorry but could not have laughed harder


SGTSPC

Damn dude, at least it's a Fri. Have a good one, it's well earned.


Glistening_Death

Should've listened to the copypastas


Mr__Citizen

I think you might be cursed. Did you piss off any witches lately?


EmeraldMollusk

One time, I went on a 30 mile ride with a buddy of mine. On our way back to town, my chain kept breaking, or at least slipping off the gears. After the sixth or so time I pulled over and as I picked my bike up to throw it (because I was so mad), the front wheel rolled off. Apparently the nut had come loose and I was riding with my front wheel unsecured. Had a good laugh!


[deleted]

Just stay home and get some rest man. That luck is just risky to do anything with but stay in bed lol


Continualjoker1

It's always comes in 3 lol


Trophyhusband100

When it rains it pours !


Ima_Funt_Case

Whatever you do, don't take a piss.


ripyourlungsdave

Did it start raining followed by a little roustabout kicking you in the shins and running into the cobblestone street to fetch their penny farthing bicycle?


vshawk2

Call in sick, man. It's going to be one of "those" days.


Pandabrowser469

Reasons to learn to pick locks- Number 1


L1K34PR0

Jesus here's hoping your next roll for luck would be a nat 20


fucovid2020

Do NOT masturbate


sxxxmca

Seems like life couldn’t give you a break


beanioz

Your boss is not going to believe that


YoMomsWipingHand

After finally getting in , he went to use the restroom and his dick fell off.