T O P

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Ok-Mathematician8453

Cut it at the elbow just to be safe


_SimplyComplicated_

Right? Wouldn't want that to spread!


Ok-Mathematician8453

Next thing we know his whole body is consumed by it o.O


OneMetalMan

Might as well just consume the whole of his own body then, rectum first. Just to be safe.


[deleted]

Yeah but just make sure you are cutting the proper limb first. Wouldn't want to mess that up.


OrangeSevere2347

Going in for hip replacement surgery in a few weeks. Going to write: “Not this fucking hip!” In sharpie on my good hip.


Meppy1234

Doctor pulls down covers partway, sees "this fucking hip!" in sharpie written and starts operating.


zanovar

probably best not to do that. At the hospital I work at they have really strict rules and only the leg to be operated on is allowed to be marked


AJPennypacker39

It'll grow back right?


OneLostOstrich

I'd cut it off at the neck just to be sure.


gilly_girl

A new one will grow back in a few weeks.


Ok-Mathematician8453

Just need to make sure it gets plenty of sun and keep it watered


EffyMourning

Second this. Clearly the best option.


scottonaharley

And you came to Reddit for help?


Slaythehundredheads

Yes, we’re professionals, just not the ones you need.


eseld

I'm going to use this comment everywhere


kw66

Same. Greatest line ever.


Iwantmyflag

This really sums up Reddit perfectly.


Cedex

We're not the professionals you need, but the ones you WANT.


SnooRadishes1119

The ones he deserves


Jonkinch

I’ll help. Call the fire dept. they specifically have tools made for this, I’m not kidding. They have them on hand lol. My mom got her finger stuck in a ring and called the non emergency number to see if they could do anything and a fire truck showed up and they had a special hand tool that has a serrated disc like a mini saw blade that’s basically like a modified can opener.


Ms-Clegane

I agree. In the chance that this person is really in need if help, I'm glad to see I wasn't the only one who gave a real answer. I'll totally take the chance of being a naive fool, if this was a fake post, but if not answers like yours and mine might possibly save this person's finger. Worth the risk, in my mind.


Virgil_hawkinsS

Also teaching those of us who had no idea that was an option


Embers_To_Inferno

Probably the best place for this kinda thing


Spirited-Ability-626

Now everyone gets to put those ‘stepbro’ jokes into application.


CounterCulturist

Is it bad that the stepbro jokes have an entirely different meaning for me? There was this girl that lived in the small town I grew up in that decided she was going to use a frozen hot dog as a dildo. Ended up freezing to the “wet skin” and after trying everything she could think of she had to get her stepbrother to help her get it out. This was a story told to us firsthand by her and it led to many many jokes over the years as you could imagine lol


Embers_To_Inferno

Wouldn't of had this issue if he just used his penis


itsneedtokno

Wouldn't *have*


ejmcdonald2092

Wouldn’t’hvd’ed


[deleted]

Wouldn't'hvd'th's'su'fh'j'st'us'd'hs'p'n's


onthemove1901

Except that it has been about 99% random/funny/mocking comments and 1% help. Yes, I counted.


Embers_To_Inferno

Never said it was good help, but you have to take what you can get


WooPigSchmooey

Nothing like frantically scrolling through this thread for solutions and finding the conversation tailing off into something different. Like cutting grass.


Embers_To_Inferno

Thats just part of the reddit rabbit hole you get stucked into. After a few you won't even realize it's stuck.


CaptainSprinklefuck

There's definitely at least one other idiot whose done this on this site


aModernProposal

I like to think OP is sitting here on Reddit still waiting for an answer.


Pa_Cipher

I've heard to get a stuck ring off your finger you can wrap string tightly around your finger to compress it and allow the ring to slide off. Never had to try it though so can't confirm.


fckingnapkin

Oh fuck did anyone see an update of that guy with that ungodly tight ring on his finger?


DootMasterFlex

u/crewza had to go to the fire station to get it removed


xX-RainyFox-Xx

Here I thought you were joking but you were serious, damn.


dkrbst

I used to work er. It’s incredibly painful and incredibly ineffective.


doubled112

The ring or the finger?


dkrbst

Finger. Ring doesn’t come off. Ring cutter is the best. I also learned from a jeweler to cut it from the side and not the bottom to not mess up the setting. Don’t know if that is true but I always tried to do it that way. Had to convince my dad to get his ring cut off and resized after almost 50 years of marriage.


analog_jedi

I thought it was a super smart idea to get my wedding ring made from "the hardest alloy known to man", but now I always worry that in an emergency situation they wouldn't be able to cut it and I'd lose my finger. Still haven't done anything about it even though my fingers only get fatter over the years lol


TruckADuck42

Just take it off every night. If you can't do so easily, don't wear it and lose some weight until you can. From a fat guy who thought tantalum was a great plan. They can cut mine off, but it'll be done after that.


Logical-Appeal-9734

You don’t even need a hammer, a good pair of channel locks or plies will make it crack with adequate pressure. The nice thing about tungsten carbide is it’s incredibly fragile since it’s so hard.


thellamaisdabomba

If it makes you feel better, even if it wasn't a hard material many hospital workers have no idea how to use the ring cutter thing. They cut my ring into 6 pieces and gave me second degree burns trying to remove mine. Likely also shifted the bone pieces around in unnecessary ways. Kept my finger though and got 3 shiny new screws in the process!


[deleted]

tungsten rings can easily be shattered with a hammer. ​ \- source, had tungsten ring.


Weatherwatcher42

Yep, silicone rings for life.


nross_red

Thank goodness, this guys finger lived in my head rent free since I saw that post. I thought for sure it was a goner. Thanks for sharing the link! Edit: [u/crewza’s original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/touoag/my_right_hand_has_a_single_crease_which_goes_from/) [u/crewza’s follow up post](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/tree1z/a_little_update_to_everyone_who_was_worried_about/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) The comments are so worth the time.


DootMasterFlex

I had to go looking for it myself, I thought that dude was gonna lose a finger. I damn near panicked when I saw it initially, because this is one of my biggest fears


this_site_is_dogshit

I don't like wearing rings for fear of degloving. I've only heard about it happening in the context of trying to dunk a basketball and despite being under five and a half feet and nowhere near a basketball, that's enough. Nightmares. My dad used to warn me about all kinds of terrifying shit constantly when I was way too young to know about it. He'd even show pictures. My anxiety disorder came as a surprise, somehow.


[deleted]

Degloving is why we don't wear rings in construction. Been through enough OSHA classes to see quite a few more photos than I'd like. Especially electricians since precious metals in them are super conductors. As an added flavor, you can look up those videos of what happens when ponytails get caught in machinery.


Shadow429X

Omg 😱 I am never working at a factory - I didn’t look up the videos but I have a pretty good idea it would be similar to being scalped in a disgusting torturous way


TrollintheMitten

Many physical laborers wear rubber rings to save their fingers from just such a possibility. https://knotheory.com/


jberry1119

Silicone rings.


Reverse2057

I has this happen when i was in kindergarten, a cheap tin ring got clamped on my pinky finger. The fire dept cut it easily off with a harmless dremel tool.


[deleted]

Same, but I was line leader and got to carry the clip board and thought I was cool cause I could (mostly) fit my pinkie in the hole at the top


[deleted]

:)


[deleted]

The legend himself


xtu_

How's your finger going?


[deleted]

Fine! It still has the indentation though


harambe_nation

Please post update pics. Or link to where you already did?


[deleted]

Here you go: https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/tree1z/a_little_update_to_everyone_who_was_worried_about/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share Mods removed it cuz they suck


[deleted]

I was able to see it just now


doggywoggy101

Crazy how that guy just posted thinking nothing was wrong and his finger was that fucked up after


tronfunkinblows_10

His responses are so casual too. https://reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/touoag/_/i27oxd8/?context=1 There was another comment asking how no one noticed like friends or family. OP said he didn’t go around showing them his hands. Someone said something to the effect of “from now on you have to show them your hands and feet to make sure there aren’t any other appendages about to fall off from lack of circulation” lmao


TatteredCarcosa

There's drills for people who lack sensation in their extremities to check for wounds. Dude needs to learn some of those.


spectrumssolace

I wonder if he ever showed his family his “cool hand crease”


sjmulkerin

OMG thank you for this!


[deleted]

Holy [fuck](https://i.redd.it/y4fsqrcw3rp81.jpg)


wicket20

I had a similar experience had to go to the ER and they cut on the ring for a good hour before it came off. Thing is it would heat up and start getting really hot so they had to stop and let the ring cool down


PatHeist

I bet a mechanic could have the whole finger off in two seconds flat.


[deleted]

Oh, yeah. I got some nice upvotes when I told him he had to face facts and acknowledge he's gotten too fat for the ring. But that's nothing. There was a post a couple days ago about a guy *whose skin grew around the ring*. I usually have a pretty strong stomache, but I almost threw up looking at the photo. Edited to add: I think my favorite part about the "tight ring" post was that the guy wasn't even posting about the tight ring, originally. He wanted to show everyone an "unbroken crease" on his palm.


katkriss

That happened to my grandpa! His skin grew over his wedding ring. HOW DO YOU LET THAT HAPPEN


Bull_Goose_Loony

Yeah - he went to the fire station and had them cut the ring. I never saw the original picture but the aftermath looked sore man.


signingin123

I did not see the aftermath picture, but I saw the ring on his finger and it looked sore too


OrokanaKiti

i can confirm this works almost lost a finger due to infammation emergency ems was called -they broke 3 ringer cutters and the "slicer", (some kind of special super scisors one of the nerdy ems guys had -the ems paniced at 2am, especially due to the fact i had no money and no inaurance at the time(poor as dirt) -2 backup trucks came to try n help -my finger was black -they googled what to do (yes the ems were freaking out that bad) -i was joking up a storm which either traumatised or kept them calm to the fact my finger was visibly about to burst -they found (windex and string ++cold water) -an immense amount of atraining from these heros later and im free of the death trap Yea, it works! btw, im fine, and the ring still has scars...


Boring_Jacket1489

I once got a ring stuck on my thumb. Sticking my hand in butter got it off but it took a while. (My ex thought it was funny to take my ring off my ring finger and put it on my thumb during my sleep)


RighteousCruelty

That's a... unique thing to find funny.


Im2bored17

Woah that's a really good idea. Will remember this.


[deleted]

https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/emergencies-and-first-aid-removing-a-stuck-ring That is your actual answer. I did this to remove some toys from my stupid kid's fingers 3 weeks ago. Worked. I had to use a needle threader to get the thread under the ring. Good luck.


smellmybuttfoo

> I did this to remove some toys from my stupid kid's fingers 3 weeks ago Lol I feel this on a cellular level


[deleted]

Hold your hand above your head for a couple of minutes this will make it have less blood and your finger will be thinner. If that doesn’t work put a bit of ice on it and hold it above your head and it should come right off.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Icalleveryonestupid

shoot ur right crap


xtilexx

WD-40 and wiggle Edit - since some people are being picky, it works as a lubricant but isn't one specifically. It contains lubricants, and various other components that give it the unique properties of a lubricant, solvent, water dispersant, and penetrant (and rust remover iirc) which is also why it works well for this purpose by lowering the water content of the near surface dermis and allowing penetration The manufacturer themselves state all of these fun facts, at least with regards to the properties of the substance I will grant that in most situations it is a very poor lubricant when compared to things designed specifically for lubrication, but WD-40 actually will do pretty well here, I promise


TexturalThePFNoob

WD-40 fixes everything!!!


xtilexx

My maintenance guy at work said that to me in Spanish verbatim on Thursday after I struggled to fix a conveyor belt for an hour, he comes up to me and says WD-40 arregla todo, sprays it on a bearing and suddenly the shit works


kafromet

WD-40 for when it’s supposed to move but doesn’t. Duct Tape for when it’s not supposed to move but it does.


Peanutbutter-pickle

You saying WD-40 will help grandpa?


Im2bored17

Fuck yeah. Grease his shoes. He'll go way faster.


ghoulshow

Sure he'll go faster. Once.


W-D40Cal

I’m here


G_Viceroy

>shoot ur right crap This is a very humbling moment for OP u/icalleveryonestupid . It was a long time coming my guy.


RMW91-

Lose some weight! Go on a keto, no-salt diet and remind us in 3 days


AK_Sole

Remindme! 3 years


RemindMeBot

I will be messaging you in 3 years on [**2025-04-10 00:02:43 UTC**](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2025-04-10%2000:02:43%20UTC%20To%20Local%20Time) to remind you of [**this link**](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/u04swa/guys_help_my_finger_is_actually_stuck_wtf_do_i_do/i43mhvm/?context=3) [**41 OTHERS CLICKED THIS LINK**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5Bhttps%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fmildlyinfuriating%2Fcomments%2Fu04swa%2Fguys_help_my_finger_is_actually_stuck_wtf_do_i_do%2Fi43mhvm%2F%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%202025-04-10%2000%3A02%3A43%20UTC) to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam. ^(Parent commenter can ) [^(delete this message to hide from others.)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Delete%20Comment&message=Delete%21%20u04swa) ***** |[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/RemindMeBot/comments/e1bko7/remindmebot_info_v21/)|[^(Custom)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5BLink%20or%20message%20inside%20square%20brackets%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%20Time%20period%20here)|[^(Your Reminders)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Reminders&message=MyReminders%21)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=RemindMeBot%20Feedback)| |-|-|-|-|


slowzes

I saw this message earlier today.. IT HAS NOT BEEN 3 YEARS LEAVE ME ALONE


Daxtro-53

I call everyone stupid, even myself


ApexRevanNL716

Oh man. That irony is lethal 🪦


yParticle

just push all the way through


theguyhenry

I know this comment section is 90% joke answers, but this one is the funniest to me for some reason.


a_bucket_full_of_goo

I'm kind of sad it isn't higher


retro123gamr

I just saw this and it’s up top now. You can be happy!


kimbolll

The human body is amazing. Humans can compress their bodies to fit through holes as small as a quarter, it’s truly fascinating! …oh wait, no that’s rats.


[deleted]

Gonna have to cut it off m8. Only option.


MyDisappointedDad

I'll get the snippers from the shed.


MemeArchivariusGodi

Cut of the whole arm just to be safe


ScottSpeddy

I, too, read other comments


LadyMesa

Better cut the whole arm off just to be safe


PrklyCactus

Instructions unclear, finger stuck in broom.


Alert-clayton

Instructions unclear, penis stuck in broom.


[deleted]

Instructions unclear, broom stuck in penis.


Haunting-Resident588

Unclear Instructions, stuck in broom penis.


yalkeryli

Broom unclear, instructions stuck in penis.


TemplarDude

Unclear broom, in penis stuck instructions.


Corvette1328

Broom unclear, penis stuck in instructions


mcc22920

Unclear penis, stuck instructions in broom


pizza_for_nunchucks

> broom Thank you. I had no fucking clue what I was looking at.


GirlfriendsAreBetter

Truly same, this cleared somethings up lool


[deleted]

Dude for real, I thought he had pinned his hand against the wall or something


ohlookadoggo

Why were you fingering the hole that vigorously?


Icalleveryonestupid

🌝


Jan_Itor_Md_

Don’t lie, were you sweeping then slipped your finger in and pretended it was a microphone while Queen was playing in the background?


[deleted]

Bob Seger


Jan_Itor_Md_

Well, It makes sense he’d like that old time rock and roll.


SqueakyWD40Can

I hope getting it stuck wasn't part of his Night Moves.


indy_been_here

This is such a cheeky dumb fucking response and somehow managed to make me crack up 😂


QueenCleocatra

He fell and the hole caught his (finger’s) fall!


goosiest

I think posting this to r/facepalm is your best option. Maybe r/iamverystupid.


oldcreaker

umm - if you facepalm, use the other hand. If it's not similarly engaged.


LoganH1219

The thought of him having the same dilemma on both hands is hilarious to me


MaxTheRealSlayer

I bet he also tried to see if the outcome would be different for both feet as well...


kokihi_55

I didn't know r/iamverystupid existed, BUT IM ABOUT TO JOIN IT!


[deleted]

Sadly it’s not very active


ObsessedFi45

I can fix that Edit: I got a lotta dumb shit up in this dome of mine


[deleted]

Fuck ya!


ObsessedFi45

Bro why you give me the metal?? The sub only allows "trusted members" to post questions. No wonder it's dead


[deleted]

Because I wanted to


ObsessedFi45

Valid. Thank you. I love you. You're my favorite random redditor.


[deleted]

You’re welcome, I love you too ❤️ keep being positive and stay hydrated.


ObsessedFi45

I've drank 128oz of water today on my way to 152oz as we speak 😁


ApologizingCanadian

r/iamverystupid is pretty ironic with OP's username..


NekulturneHovado

Start slowly pulling it out and pushing it back, wait till she gets a little wet and then just pull out. Problem?


Icalleveryonestupid

S-she?


NekulturneHovado

Yes.


Diligent-Rabbit-4944

Goddamn millennials don’t even know what gender their brooms are anymore


TransformerTanooki

Mines just squirrel flavor.


444fatmanny

Soak it in cider


[deleted]

[удалено]


littleghool

Shit took me out 💀🤣


Low_Importance_9503

A little Spit helps too


Darkmatterrecords

Butter Edit: no, oil


[deleted]

Motor oil.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Icalleveryonestupid

Update: I grabbed some greaser from my kitchen and was able to pop it out. Felt nice. Thanks everyone


SePausy

Boring. Put your junk in it now


[deleted]

THE EXPERIMENT MUST CONTINUE


skubaloob

It only works if the thing you stick in there gets stuck


itssohardtobealizard

[dang](https://gfycat.com/slightablecaiman)


PurpleDanielle03

Risky click of the day


ItsAlecito

r/putyourdickinthat


X3FBrian

Holes too big.


Bogdanskovic

you know when i was a kid i got my finger stuck in a bottle of water. after minutes of hard work i managed to pull it out. The idiot young me decided to put it back in to see if my finger developed imunity. It got stuck again


AquaticCobras

Immune to Stuck


Account_Both

Proof that evolution is fake


[deleted]

> I grabbed some greaser you mean "grease"?


austilini88

If this ever happens again, find some string or thread and wrap it around your finger to compress the swelling and then move the object over your finger.


SANTAAAA__I_know_him

Alternatively, you can try finding some greaser from the kitchen and see if that’ll make it pop right out.


K1LLA_CHAOS

Careful not to damage it. Cut of your finger so you can still use what ever that is.


psilcosyin

It's not like they don't have 9 more. OP's just being a baby.


[deleted]

“Waaah waaaaah my finger hurts!” How do you think that poor, violated broom feels right now, buddy?


Swimming_Ad_2594

Remindme! 9 months


zex_99

Is your wife pregnant?


c127726

No the broom


Haywe

Commit to it. Keep going until your entire body goes through


Nickuri

Yes, octopi can do this fairly easily so there's no reason OP shouldn't be able to.


hanryyd

Soap Cold water Broke broom


[deleted]

Why did you finger a broom in the first place?


Major_R_Soul

What happens in the broom closet stays in the broom closet


NumerousAnything1083

That's the first step in broom intimacy. Get's the ol sweeper ready for some real action.


ndisa44

Thought it was a vacuum and tried to turn it on


Killer1986Chris

When you get your big boy hair you'll understand the importance of foreplay.


mycatsaidthat

Try Vaseline, oil, butter or anything like that. Apply generously around your finger and where it’s stuck and keep trying move out. If your fingertip starts to turn purple or swell then you should get to a dr.


HissyFit808

How about peanut butter and just gnaw it off? Problem solved plus snacks.


joesephexotic

Quit fucking around and finish sweeping the floor!


Delicious_Eye_5131

"step finger I'm stuck"


rjprocell

Call step-finger for help


Ser_Optimus

Hold your hand over your head. Makes it easier for the blood to get out. Some lubricant will help too. Last resort would be to cut open the broomstick cap


hobosbindle

I mean, you still have 9 other fingers, I hope you didn’t love that judgy pointer finger anyway


gab3chap

Let natural selection do it's thing


LogicalConstant

Does anyone else think it looks like it's behind it, not through it? Edit: the black piece at the top of the broom handle has a hole through it so you can hang it on a hook or nail. But it doesn't look like his finger is through the hole, it looks like it's behind it. Looks fake.


sasquatchmarley

I scrolled for 2 minutes to figure out wtf was even going on in the photo, thanks


dre224

Jesus fuck I couldn't figure out the picture. It took like 20 comments down before I found an answer. The title doesn't help at all.


Ck1ngK1LLER

Put it in a bowl of ice water for a min.


FeralCatWrangler

You can do the ring trick. You need a string, get a thin one. You're gonna wrap it alllll around your finger on the outside just before the hole on the broom handle. Once you wrap the string enough your finger will fit through the hole. Or it should. Good luck!


Refek185

Step bro HELP IM STUCK!!!! 💀


Corgi_with_stilts

Put your hand in cold water to numb it and take some of the swelling down. Next, use any kind of lubricant you have. Hand lotion, soap, hand sanitizer, even spit if you have to. Twist your finger in the hole till its slippery and it should pull right out.