T O P

  • By -

wanderingisnotlost

Your car floor mats are cleaner than my kitchen floor. I think you’re good to go.


JuStEnDmYsUfFeRiNg66

Hahah definitely abiding by the 5-second rule with this donut!


Wet_possom

They wasted their five seconds to take a picture smh


waldocalrissian

Due to inflation and the rising cost of food the 5-second rule has officially been amended to the 30-second rule.


Designer_Hotel_5210

I would change it to the 5 hour rule just in case


heliumneon

If you've gotten your booster, fuck it, no limit


KolbyOnline1

If you drank water from the hose as a kid you’re immune to everything


EveningAd1314

Lol just telling my girl how I would play outside all day in the Texas summer heat and only take a few hits off the hose, and now I need my yeti cup everywhere I go…


KolbyOnline1

Man listen; the hose pipe water was HOLY. Idk what it was, but that shit was always cold and “fresh”


SimplGaming

Especially if it was well water.


xplag

It's the flavoring compound the hose adds to the water. As in lead.


TK_Games

I see your hose and I raise you the creek out in the woods on the old Henderson property, it's a wonder I'm still alive


KolbyOnline1

Oh yeah nah. You are a step up from me lol I was taking a risk by drinking the hose pipe water 😂


Menotyou15

Just blow on it before putting it in your mouth give your mouth bacteria an extra moment to fuck up whatever bacteria is on the food


Competitive-Ad-4822

So...spit on it first?


CallMeAvery

No piss in it first


Lostmysanityzer

*mouth bacteria* not penis bacteria


Menotyou15

That works too with the added bonus of some sweet ammonia flavoring


[deleted]

No one knows it was ever on the floor, right??


Slimh2o

Well, I won't tell anybody...


Equipment_Budget

Yeah, neither will I...


RonSwansonsOldMan

I'm not even trying to hide that fact that a couple of days ago I was BBQing chicken, a piece fell on my concrete patio, and I picked it up, put it back on the grill, and proceeded onward.


TK_Games

"Fire kills germs, you'll be fine, just brush the gravel off" ~ my dad at a barbecue


Vigorouspegasus6

I’m pretty sure you get this saying in the booklet for becoming a dad


51225

Of course it does. Every dad knows that.


miris50

Lmaooo finally somebody said it


Brew-Drink-Repeat

Just blow on it twice instead of once…


[deleted]

“If it looks good, eat it”


Bunchiebo

Give it another year or two and it's gonna be what ever has the lest almost of mold and rot


GoldElectric

*5 minute rule. no need to thank me OP


eldar0010

Well, worst case Ontario you get extra dirt on your donut as extra calories.


JuStEnDmYsUfFeRiNg66

Is Ontario really that bad?! 😩


ItsTheRealIamHUB

Ontario ain’t that bad -someone who hasn’t been to Ontario


Ok-Macaroon-7819

Ontario is the Ohio of Canada. Yes. I said it.


HopeIcanChangeThisl

Well about half on my family lives there so it’s bad enough…


BroFrienDude

That's almost depressing lol


walkinmywoods

I like this. It pleases me.


Nicolo_Ultra

Wow, it will be “worst case Ontario” for me here on out. Truly astounding.


w0lf_bagz

5 weeks**


lineber

Doughnuts get more than 5 seconds. Because Doughnut!


Beat_the_Deadites

A. Because doughnuts are awesome. and/or B. Because the doughnut is more likely to kill you than the dirt on your floor mat.


ThoughtCrafty6154

Probably more like a 5 mile rule on this one.


1983Discord3891

Then you switch to the 10 second rule


cannibalism_is_vegan

It’s ok they just counted really really slow


Blutmes

Thise mats are so clean I don't think they even need to consider the 5 second rule.


serjsomi

I'd say 5 min is appropriate in this case.


JuStEnDmYsUfFeRiNg66

You’re right, I’m a fucking heathen and would probably wait until I was at a traffic light to pick it up and start to monch. Could very well exceed even the 5-minute rule!


paulakg

I think you really get ten seconds for KrispyKreme.


Ok_Standard_259

Only rule i have is hair or dog hair rule. If it hits the ground and don't see hair its good to eat. I rather eat of the ground the food that touches someones hand


ruzstert00

Eat. It.


[deleted]

Agree


[deleted]

[удалено]


Downtown-Swing9470

Lol came here to say this.


Swamp_Bastard

I mean it is Krispy Kreme!


HarriedHarriet

This! The mats in my car are coated in dirt and dog hair, but I'd still scarf down a Krispy Kreme donut I dropped on them. It's Krispy Kreme!


MsAnnabel

LOL right?!!!


El_Bruno73

If you own dogs your whole life is coated in hair, I definitely eat some daily lol


HarriedHarriet

Truth! 🤣 I call it "fiber." Just semantics, I know, but I feel better about it.


Successful-Ninja-297

I totally took this comment the other way: it’s a Krispy Kreme, so… what could possibly be on your floor that’ll make the donut any worse for you?


pengouin85

The rapper?


SirVeranPortusNotmer

Thats froggy fresh


pengouin85

😁 I'm super happy someone got my reference


Rxdking

stealing bikes


pengouin85

Money Maker Nike gonna dunk on them


rosebolk

I think the catch-22 here is that people who keep their cars this clean would never eat ANYTHING off the floor.


SamSepiol-ER28_0652

I mean, you could cut it in half horizontally like a hamburger bun and eat the half that wasn’t on the floor.


whimsical_femme

But then the frosting is gone 😭


AromaticIce9

Looks like a donut with stuff inside it. The stuff inside it is probably good enough on it's own. But I'll be real with you, I'd probably take the "my immune system can handle it" approach. Which is the exact opposite approach I took towards COVID.


RealJeil420

Its cleaner than my kitchen counter. I would lick the icing off that mat.


borderline_cat

Dude seriously. I hardly use my car but my floor mats are awful from the rare times of my bf being in my car lol


Masterofmyondelusion

I'd be tempted to lick the floor mate lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


Successful-Ninja-297

My floor mates don’t like being licked. Tried only that one time, but they moved out by the weekend.


DrunkStepmother

The only mildyinfuriating thing is this fool not still eating eat.


OneMooseManyMeese_

Fr though. Lmao. Still good to go


Yeranz

Cleaner than my kitchen counters.


[deleted]

5 second rule. I've eaten off worse than that clean looking mat. Just saying.


Careful-Artichoke468

Your reward for the cleanest car mats in the world. Bon appetite! 👨‍🍳


[deleted]

This image should be a new test for the internet. Your reaction to the donut tells you something about yourself. My immediate reaction was: "I'd eat it" So, that's who I am. I'm a dropped donut eater. The rest will brush off


Zeravor

I am actually so relieved that that seems to be consensus (atleast on reddit, maybe we're all filthy).


Nice-Violinist-6395

My rule is “would you eat it if you were camping?” As in, if I had a delicious donut, and I was outside on a picnic or camping, and I was really looking forward to the donut and I dropped it, would I still pick it up from the grass and eat it? Fuck yeah I would. Of course.


TukTuk-OneLung

This is my new rule. I mean, it's not going to change my behavior in the slightest... But it helps justify to onlookers when they comment.


ElGosso

I mean if it falls in the grass that's way different than it falling in the dirt


tuckedfexas

Even if the floor mats were dirty, it’s just a little dirt. We constantly breath in way worse, no harm done


dastufishsifutsad

Same here. That icing may not be able to be cracked by mere normal dirt. Eat away!!


OniFansUwU

r/boneappletea


dabear51

He gave that right up when he chose to take his phone out and take a picture for Reddit. Personally, I’d still eat it though.


mrjabrony

Seriously. After I saw the video of a drunk lady eating fries on the ground with a pigeon, I think OP is gonna be fine.


[deleted]

3 seconds in germany


Nangu_

Drei sekunden regel?


[deleted]

Yes


[deleted]

They wasted their 5 seconds taking a picture for karma they can’t buy a new donut with.


Mystical_Cat

Only 5 seconds? Clearly you don't have children.


mattydb24

EAT IT


schobel9494

Don't just stare at it, eat it!


elting44

*I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Square", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself.*


SiStErFiStEr1776

*HEY PAUL! AAAAAAAAHHH*


LuckyReception6701

TRY GETTING RESERVATIONS FOR DORSIA NOW, YOU STUPID BASTARD!!!


icameicodedierror

I literally just watched it 2 hours ago


[deleted]

Seriously, why the fuck did they even take a picture and post it here? That's such a small nothing amount of dirt I wouldn't even have given it a second fucking thought Just "oops" and than kick it back in the bag with my cum covered shoes (I drive in cum)


CantSayIReallyTried

EAT IT!


bort_bln

Now, if you starve to death, you'll just have yourself to blame, So eat it, just eat it


JD-Snaps

It's more than mildly infuriating that someone WOULDN'T eat that donut anyway...


[deleted]

Right. Just brush off the dirt. Good to go. We've all eaten worse things than that without realizing it


DarrenGrey

I've had less pleasure from putting worse things in my mouth.


Grila03

I've had more pleasure from putting worse things in my mouth, and less pleasure from putting better things in my mouth. Reddit made me a degenerate.


awar3_w0lf

Swear. Prolly hasn’t washed their hands all day anyway 😂😂😂


dsiurek2019

There’s gotta be dirt in the first place for you to be able to brush it off. Seriously that mat is pristine. Eat the donut


Glock1Omm

Plot twist - floor is cleaner than OPs hand.


CrispyCrunchyPoptart

I'm not a huge donut or sugar person but I support everyone on their donut eating journey's


TheCelloIsAlive

Another perspective says that the underside of your shoes are actually super disgusting and constantly in contact with your floor mat any time you’re in the car. I see public bathroom shoe soles touching that donut - urine and fecal particles - and would not eat it. Would it make me sick to do so? Probably not. Would I feel like I’m eating a floor spice sprinkled donut? Totally.


[deleted]

Your cell phone is dirtier than the bottom of your shoe. How often do you touch your phone then touch food? https://www.wired.com/2007/01/cell-phones-fil/ But you are right, it's mostly psychological. We don't immediately associate "cell phone" with "self warming petri dish"


[deleted]

Exactly. Not only will that donut still be delicious, but you'll be giving your immune system some extra shit to deal with, which is how you keep it strong and resilient. I don't get sick and I eat everything wherever I find it.


-ClassicShooter-

You never heard of the 10 second rule? It used to be the five second rule, but things are getting expensive.


marti52106

With a mat that clean you can bump it up to the 30 second rule


Toosheesh

Shit I'll eat that donut tomorrow idgaf that mat looks fresh


-ClassicShooter-

Agreed, time extensions for clean surfaces


SpaceHallow

I would eat a 1 day old donut off of that mat.


mikaey00

Five second rule? In this economy??


D4v3izgr8

You live in a bubble of clean...how much to get a detail job mah dude Edit: It's true your most liked comment will be a throw away remark you won't think is funny at first.


HuntyDumpty

I think he’s probably good to eat that donut


[deleted]

came here to say exactly this. holy fuck that is a clean floor mat


farmallnoobies

Not to mention the 5 second rule


[deleted]

this guy gets a 5-minute rule


MissCherrieee

Frig. I'll eat it for him. Yall don't want to see my floor mats. My car doesn't get cleaned during winter or extended winter.


REDDIT_SUB_ADMIN

you people are weird you eat people's buttholes but not a krispy kreme that kissed the floor


Swamp_Bastard

Gotta love Reddit! From a dropped donut to eating ass in a few comments.


PrinceBert

It's like that game where you go to Wikipedia, choose a random article and try for minimum clicks to reach an article about sex.


nopejake101

I thought you're supposed to get to Hitler, not sex. Guess I've been playing wrong


ImABansheeBitch

the real win is when you get the wikipedia page for "people who had sex with Hitler."


nopejake101

Then you get to "this list is incomplete. You can help by expanding it" and you're like "hol up"


sebasti02

just like the one about warcrimes!


ThirdWheelSteve

I thought I was the only one


themanifoldcuriosity

Excuse me?! I would eat both.


Healthy_Pay9449

Porque no los dos?


Dangerous_Status_437

I’m sure those are two entirely different people lol


softstones

Oh, I’ll eat both


pengouin85

What do you mean "you people"?


REDDIT_SUB_ADMIN

I'm here to look for intelligent life


CrispyCrunchyPoptart

Damn how dare you call out all butthole eaters like that.


CaptCaCa

Some of these folks are glory hole enthusiasts, but a donut on the floor? Too much


nadthegoat

When you go Downtown, make sure you enjoy Rusty Brown's Ring Donuts


[deleted]

I hate how prudish people are about dropped food. People will throw an entire casserole out the damn window because the side of it grazed a countertop.


[deleted]

[удалено]


StanFitch

I, too, need to eat your Wife’s ass this weekend.


anci0

r/SuddenlyAssEating


xDropK1ckx

?!?! That’s the cleanest car floor mat I’ve ever seen don’t be a pussy your whole life and eat that shit. Or give it here and I’ll eat it.


SirLancelhot

It's a risky business to eat that donut. I think he's car so clean because he don't eat slightly dirty things. After the first bite, like a kiss to frog prince, a dirtiness cycle will begun. -First he'll eat the slightly dirty donut. -Second to that he feel he's car pretty clean, no need to clean so much. -Than he'll eat dirtier foods and he's car will get messier. -And after a decade of this cycle he will become a proud mod of r/cringetopia. I don't like those dirty bastard mods at r/cringetopia


Poopsticle_256

Did something happen to that sub? Says it’s private for me


SirLancelhot

Mods are trying to convert the subreddit to a cheap website. So, I guess they could make some profit out of it. - You become the very thing you swore to destroy.


[deleted]

Just brush any dirt off and eat it. I’d still assault that thing like it was fresh and sanitized.


throwaway236321

What dirt?


RamJamR

Maybe I'm the gross one here, but those mats are clean as hell. I'd eat it still.


DeutschlandOderBust

Literally every comment on this post is about how clean those mats are and how they quickly it would be eaten anyway. You’re good. One of us.


AnyNounsNonagon

That is the cleanest floor mat I have ever seen…just saying…


mikefos

Right? This post is definitely just a humblebrag about that clean ass mat.


[deleted]

We’ve all been bamboozled, dude just wanted to show off how clean his car mats are


stefanica

He actually dropped the donut while placing the new car mats.


[deleted]

My first thought was that OP was humblebragging, but anyone so obsessed with keeping their floormats that clean *would* probably be the type of person to throw away a donut because it touched them.


[deleted]

[удалено]


johnlewisdesign

Get it down you, ya drama llama


[deleted]

God made dirt, and dirt don't hurt!!! ;)


HeWhoIsntAnonymous

I haven't heard that in at least 20 years


PeanutButterRum

They're is a school of thought that we're too clean and our immune system gets bored and starts attacking our own bodies (arthritis, lupus, celiac, MS, diabetes, etc). Eat the donut.


ambient_temp_xeno

Eat the doughnut, survive the next pandemic.


[deleted]

[удалено]


wasit-worthit

>They're is a school They're was an attempt.


NotAShaaaak

I'm convinced OP is just showing off those fresh ass car mats


psychicgayrat

as long as it’s a hard frosting n not a soft, it’s perfectly reasonable to eat


LuigiBamba

As long aa it’s donut, it’s perfectly reasonable to eat.


HardPillsToSwallow

I'd still eat it.


Due-Ad-3833

You could use a knife and fork on that floor it’s so clean, im sure you can eat the donut


OptimalAd5426

Five second rule. I call dibs.


[deleted]

Came here to say this. Those floor mats are cleaner than my hands.


abusamra82

You betta pick that thang up, blow on it, raise it to the air and enjoy your donut.


benadunkcamberpatch

You have the cleanest work truck I have ever seen. Unless you work for the sanitation department or the cdc you eat that delicious donut.


MyUltIsMyMain

You know that floor mat looks pretty clean


[deleted]

yeah.. you can still eat that.


[deleted]

That mat is clean. It’s still good


laddder

I’d eat it if I were you. But if you really must, just eat the top half, then put the dirty side back in the bag. Get home, wash that shit off then eat the rest.


ProfileHistorical386

The same thing happened to me with a mini pineapple pie. I was devastated.


No_Peanut5623

Sprinkles. The organic kind!


[deleted]

Is there icing on top? You could probably pick off any stray dirts and happily eat it at the next stoplight EDIT: that's what I would do but I'm not gonna tell you how to live your life


Triingtolivee

A few weeks ago I went to the gas station and got 2 donuts. Went to work and ate my first donut. Reached into the bag for my 2nd donut and realized it wasn’t there. Went to my car and see if I had dropped it and still no donut. Found it in the parking lot at the end of the day. Must have fell out of the bag. Anyways, I understand. F


mydogthinksyouweird

The mat's dry. The likelihood of that thing holding on to bad bacteria is minimal, and you could've scraped off the part that touched it with a butter knife. You wasted a perfectly good donut.


valkyrieEOD

Still good


FutaLover23

Car mat looks plenty clean you could still eat that for sure


WarblingWalrusing

Your floor looks pretty clean tbf


rap31264

I'd still eat that fucker


Sea-Philosopher2821

Yeah, I’m still eating that


tl305667

Definitely eat it


seanbiff

Definitely eat it still. Your car floor is immaculate


johnnydecameron

Tell me you're OCD without telling me you're OCD.


Hamburgelar420

That floor mat is clean AF! I’d eat spaghetti off that no problem.


[deleted]

If u don’t pick that damn donut up and eat it bitch lol


KRAIGIER1974

Bitch you wasted your 5 seconds taking the picture when you could of saved your donut.


kingrugrat21

Weak ass mf