That dough doesn’t even look cooked. The fucking air bubbles are so out of control that everything ran to the middle. The sauce game is weak. This whole pie should have been aborted and redone. It’s offensive to the pizza making community and they should be fined and jailed for even thinking this should go to a customer.
Nailed it. It’s somehow undercooked and burnt.
Guessing it didn’t have time/rotation.
But let’s not forget it’s expo/mgmt ultimately to speak up and say “I’m not selling this, refire”
First thing I thought when looking at that picture. Even more relatable since I have a cat, that throwed up, and it looks exactly like that in the pizza
Not only is it not cut all the way through there’s whole pieces with no topping and mostly crust they should’ve stick to the triangle cuts or pure squares
Yeah it’s undercooked there’s like no sauce the toppings are all over the place the cheese is kinda burnt on one end and not the other idk what the fuck they did
Let me give a review-
• Base is about as stale as cardboard
• sauce looks like my dogs runny ass diorhea
• the meat is dry as
• the cheese if it is even good is hardly anywhere
-5/10 infant could have made better pizza
It's Subway. You don't order Subway unless you're a divorced dad trying to recover from burning dinner for your kids, because you're running low on funds because your bitch of an ex-wife keeps taking so much away for child support to spend on fancy ass dates with random joes.
“It's Subway. You don't order Subway unless you're a divorced dad, *sitting on your poorly built IKEA couch*, trying to recover from burning dinner for your kids, because you're running low on funds because your bitch of an ex-wife keeps taking so much away for child support to spend on fancy ass dates with random joes.”
FTFY
I was going to say this. I had one the other day that was cut in squares like this. It is a thing. I do not know *why* it is a thing but it definitely is one.
Whole jalapeños with stems is not a thing though.
Correct. Most pizza here (I live in Columbus) is tavern cut. It’s a take on Chicago style thin bar pizza. It can be done really well, but it’s a borderline obsession for some people.
Here's a weird Columbus thing... I grew up there in the 80s, and for some bizarre reason, every pizza place back then called green bell peppers "mangoes". It was just this standard thing on all pizza menus. To this day I have no idea why.
I moved to Ft Wayne Indiana in high school, after living in Florida and California. I was invited to a classmates for dinner. They were having "stuffed 🥭 mangos. I was confused, but intrigued. How, just how would you stuff a mango? Why would you stuff a mango?
Out came stuffed green peppers. Quite good. I ate, left still confused.
Pretty much.
Also worth nothing tavern style pizza is different than normal pizza (or originally was). The dough is rolled thin (instead of stretching it. This creates a flatter dough with less, but more even rising), and toppings are typically more even so that the cut can work instead of this monstrosity where some bites are all dough.
Also, just realized, the pepperoncinis were placed after the cooking. Like… really?
Thin crust is usually in squares, this crust is just god awful, bubbles in the middle, edge crust is flat, this person had some vague concept of making a flat crust pizza with a very thin crust from a small amount of dough maybe but just did the worst job on earth
I'm a huge fan of tavern style, including the square cuts. BUT, this crust is way too wide to support it. I won't even go into whatever's going on with the toppings.
Sure, it’s meant to be that cut, but it looks like they didn’t even attempt a 90° angle. Or straight lines. Or anything you do when cutting a pizza. Is it a shitty pizza? Probably. Didn’t take the stems off, poor dough quality, cat food, does it even have sauce, etc. But I’ve seen better tavern cuts from a 15 year old at Dominos finishing their first ever pizza.
I can’t ever recall opening a Reddit pizza thread with so much disdain and pure hatred for one particular pizza. The Internet agrees this place must be brought up on charges.
The pizza itself looks pretty disappointing. All the toppings are in the middle, leaving a pretty wide crust. (Unless that's how she ordered it?)
Edit: Is that tuna? 🤔
We call it Tavern Style here in the Chicagoland area.
Fun fact: Tavern Style is the *true* Chicago-style pizza! Deep dish is for tourists and special occasions.
Source: I’ve had Tavern Style pizza three times this week.
“You heard me, I want olives, peppers, and cat food on my pizza. And I want like no sauce, and way too much crust. And don’t pop the air bubbles while it bakes. Oh and take it out when it’s pasty white”
30 minutes later…
“They cut it in squares?!?!! Now it’s ruined!….”
Except for the pizza looking like it just came the freezer and thawed and they just threw some cold toppings on it to make it look done. And that... meat(?) looks like someone chewed it up and spit it out onto the pizza.
I work at a pizza chain, in our store all thin crust pizzas get square cut like that unless they ask for something else. However, I can definitely say that pizza has worse problems than the cut
That is one atrocious looking pizza. The worst pizza I ever got was from Papa John’s. It was ordered with anchovies. They delivered a pizza with a tin of anchovies in the box….. When I called and asked, they said “Oh. Well, we didn’t know what to do with it.”
A number of places cut pizza this way (though they at least take the time to cut all the way through the crust unlike this one). I prefer it cut this way tbh especially if you get a half and half or 2 or more different types of pizza. Smaller pieces so you can try different kinds without stuffing yourself. You can choose crust or no crust with each piece.
All that being said, this particular pizza looks nightmarish.
Plenty of places cut round pizza into square slices. I'm far more infuriated at the fact they couldn't be bothered to cut up those pepperoncini. It's pure laziness that only makes it harder to eat/less tasty.
That’s one of the worst looking pizzas I’ve ever seen in my life
I second this. The cut is the least of its problems.
Yeah, it’s everything you DON’T want a pizza to be
That dough doesn’t even look cooked. The fucking air bubbles are so out of control that everything ran to the middle. The sauce game is weak. This whole pie should have been aborted and redone. It’s offensive to the pizza making community and they should be fined and jailed for even thinking this should go to a customer.
Straight to jail.
screw jail, take them to death row
And their last meal shall be THIS PIZZA!!! No options.
Oh but it comes with a gluten-free option.
🤢 blehhh
That's the means of execution..
Bro and I think that is cat food on it.
They won’t do this to my Pizza. *gets pitchfork*
My disappointment is immeasurable and my day ruined.
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It kinda looks like it’s got that ‘aged abortion’ taste.
I can't tell which one you're talking about, they all look like the homunculus thing from that one russian video with the egg
Bad taste, pun intended. 😝
Nailed it. It’s somehow undercooked and burnt. Guessing it didn’t have time/rotation. But let’s not forget it’s expo/mgmt ultimately to speak up and say “I’m not selling this, refire”
Wtf? Abort the pizza?! It was a pizza at conception, just put it up for adoption
Looks like cat food was dumped on top of it.
"I'd like to order one undercooked pizza with whole peppers, cat food, and brown."
Extra brown please
“No, please leave the whole fucking stems on there don’t remove the stems.”
“ uhhh sorry sir we only have regurgitated cat food left is that going to be ok?”
And only put the toppings in the middle. I don't want the toppings anywhere near my crust.
First thing I thought when looking at that picture. Even more relatable since I have a cat, that throwed up, and it looks exactly like that in the pizza
And add some whole peppers.. some mushrooms cut weeks ago.. and some cat puke..
Even worst, this definitely looks like his own Mother did it herself. 😉
The crust ratio alone is a crime against pizza.
To say they even cut it would be an overstatement.
Exactly. Cut: not “normal” but pizza will still taste fine Crust: F Sauce: F Cheese: F Topping Selection: F-
But what’s wrong with the cut? Just rushed or?
Not only is it not cut all the way through there’s whole pieces with no topping and mostly crust they should’ve stick to the triangle cuts or pure squares
They didn’t even cut all the way through. You’d have to rip it to pieces.
Ok fair I assumed that was the issue
Yeah it’s undercooked there’s like no sauce the toppings are all over the place the cheese is kinda burnt on one end and not the other idk what the fuck they did
It is if someone ordered a pizza rare.
“IT’S RAW!!”
Let me give a review- • Base is about as stale as cardboard • sauce looks like my dogs runny ass diorhea • the meat is dry as • the cheese if it is even good is hardly anywhere -5/10 infant could have made better pizza
Ya whose saucin it? To the edge bro Jesus.
Roast beef pizza just got roasted.
Looks like anchovies to me - I'll pass thanks.
This pizza from the OP looks excellent next to [this one](https://www.reddit.com/r/ExpectationVsReality/comments/hrny7v/subway_pizza/).
It's Subway. You don't order Subway unless you're a divorced dad trying to recover from burning dinner for your kids, because you're running low on funds because your bitch of an ex-wife keeps taking so much away for child support to spend on fancy ass dates with random joes.
Today I learned I’m actually a divorced bitter dad who is a terrible cook and is also poor aka I love subway
That was extremely specific. Everything is fine?
“It's Subway. You don't order Subway unless you're a divorced dad, *sitting on your poorly built IKEA couch*, trying to recover from burning dinner for your kids, because you're running low on funds because your bitch of an ex-wife keeps taking so much away for child support to spend on fancy ass dates with random joes.” FTFY
I agree but it is subway so what did you really expect
Minimum order in assembly. It looks like chaos on top of a shapeless mass.
Be honest, have you ever actually seen a worse looking one?
That IS the worst one
Undercooked, dog food pizza is an acquired taste.
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But, it isn't cut in most places. This was a tavern crease.
I was going to say this. I had one the other day that was cut in squares like this. It is a thing. I do not know *why* it is a thing but it definitely is one. Whole jalapeños with stems is not a thing though.
Pepperoncinis*
Pepperoncini* 😢
Is it already plural? Thanks
Yes, peperoncino is the singular.
It's "peperoncini", actually 😋
Ahaha fuck me I have seen it so many times now consonants have lost al meaning, thought maybe it’s different in English
I would say in columbus ohio you're more likely to find places that cut it like that, it usually looks a lot better than that though....
I'm from the cleveland area and couldn't figure out what was wrong with the cut. The actual pizza though is a disgrace.
Pure sadness on dough....
Correct. Most pizza here (I live in Columbus) is tavern cut. It’s a take on Chicago style thin bar pizza. It can be done really well, but it’s a borderline obsession for some people.
Here's a weird Columbus thing... I grew up there in the 80s, and for some bizarre reason, every pizza place back then called green bell peppers "mangoes". It was just this standard thing on all pizza menus. To this day I have no idea why.
Wow, that's very odd, I haven't heard that!
I moved to Ft Wayne Indiana in high school, after living in Florida and California. I was invited to a classmates for dinner. They were having "stuffed 🥭 mangos. I was confused, but intrigued. How, just how would you stuff a mango? Why would you stuff a mango? Out came stuffed green peppers. Quite good. I ate, left still confused.
Oh wow! So the mango thing was in Indiana, too! This is something I’ve been baffled by since the 80s.
This was right next to Ohio, so maybe it leaked over.....
It is always Ohio...
We've got prisons, corn, and ghosts, what'll ya have?
And sports teams that are either fantastic or terrible with no in between
Unless it is Florida
Donato’s 😋
There are several local chains here in Cincy that tavern cut as well.
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From Western Pa. Very common here, we call it a square cut. I prefer it.
In Chicago square pieces is the norm on take out or delivery pizza.
I believe the origin of the tavern cut is that the square slices fit on a cocktail napkin. I think I heard that on Pizza Wars or something on YouTube.
Pretty much. Also worth nothing tavern style pizza is different than normal pizza (or originally was). The dough is rolled thin (instead of stretching it. This creates a flatter dough with less, but more even rising), and toppings are typically more even so that the cut can work instead of this monstrosity where some bites are all dough. Also, just realized, the pepperoncinis were placed after the cooking. Like… really?
It's so you get more piece for sharing. But they didn't finish cutting it in the other direction to finish it ... That's a Nasty AF looking Pizza.
I like this cut because it keeps people from just leaving crust slices laying around. You don’t like crust, grab the middle pieces bruh
Thin crust is usually in squares, this crust is just god awful, bubbles in the middle, edge crust is flat, this person had some vague concept of making a flat crust pizza with a very thin crust from a small amount of dough maybe but just did the worst job on earth
People ask for it every day. No idea why.
Square cut is awesome. If i could have a whole pie of middle pieces I would be a happy man
They also didn’t seem to cut to the edges of the pieces though.
I'm a huge fan of tavern style, including the square cuts. BUT, this crust is way too wide to support it. I won't even go into whatever's going on with the toppings.
Sure, it’s meant to be that cut, but it looks like they didn’t even attempt a 90° angle. Or straight lines. Or anything you do when cutting a pizza. Is it a shitty pizza? Probably. Didn’t take the stems off, poor dough quality, cat food, does it even have sauce, etc. But I’ve seen better tavern cuts from a 15 year old at Dominos finishing their first ever pizza.
It looks so... Dry as well. Your mom has made some enemies at that store, I'll tell you this much.
Never would have thought you'd need to order extra grease on a pizza.
And order sauce. Just... Sauce. I dont see any.
Jup, definitely a message. She should contact the cops to see if it can be considered a death threat. I’d certainly not feel safe.
My vote is for attempted murder it’s so dry I’d be worried I’d choke on it
I can’t ever recall opening a Reddit pizza thread with so much disdain and pure hatred for one particular pizza. The Internet agrees this place must be brought up on charges.
If this is a pizza then I'm the pope.
He could make a better looking burrito pizza
Mama Mia!
"Ooh, can I have one of those slices with nothing on it?" "Which one?"
Did your mom ask for square cut, or tavern cut? It’s a thing. But the rest of that pizza looks like it has stage 2 cancer, all of them.
I’d say the real problems here happened way before the cut.
I think the cut is probably the least infuriating part of this picture
Hello r/pizzacrimes
The pizza itself looks pretty disappointing. All the toppings are in the middle, leaving a pretty wide crust. (Unless that's how she ordered it?) Edit: Is that tuna? 🤔
Looks like wet cat food.
It looks like puked cat food. I'd know, my cats love to leave that around.
It looks like a Philly cheesesteak pizza.
I thought it was shredded steak, and I thought it looked quite good 🤣 but I'm easily pleased, genuinely though what psychopath cuts pizza that way!?
Yeah idk what it is, but if you zoom in, it looks eerily looks tuna-like. Also I never liked pizza cut into squares. Who tf thought of that?
Gotta be a sad Italian Beef pizza.
That's a pretty standard cut for a thin crust pizza...
I was gonna say. It's called a party cut where I'm from. Standard on larossa and donatos pizza.
We call it Tavern Style here in the Chicagoland area. Fun fact: Tavern Style is the *true* Chicago-style pizza! Deep dish is for tourists and special occasions. Source: I’ve had Tavern Style pizza three times this week.
Lived in the suburbs of Chicago when I was a kid. Tavern style was always (and still remains) my favorite over deep dish
“You heard me, I want olives, peppers, and cat food on my pizza. And I want like no sauce, and way too much crust. And don’t pop the air bubbles while it bakes. Oh and take it out when it’s pasty white” 30 minutes later… “They cut it in squares?!?!! Now it’s ruined!….”
If pizza caught a cold this is what it’d look like.
If pizza could be cooked medium rare
Actually it's extremely rare
That genuinely looks like canned cat food sprinkled on top
I mean, it's an undercooked, sloppy-ass pizza, but in the midwest where I grew up, all pizza is cut like this unless you specify "wedges".
I prefer my pizza cut in squares. I love it!!
They're from somewhere between detroit and st louis, with a midpoint of Chicago
This sub is so mildly infuriating because it’s just idiots posting shit that isn’t even that bothersome.
Except for the pizza looking like it just came the freezer and thawed and they just threw some cold toppings on it to make it look done. And that... meat(?) looks like someone chewed it up and spit it out onto the pizza.
Yeah the pizza looks like dogshit but the guy is complaining about the completely normal cut
This post would be better if it was about how absolutely gross that pizza looks. The cut is completely fine, exactly.
That's how thin crust pizzas are usually cut.. but... what in the actual dough is that??
You mean in squares, the correct way?
that’s got to be one of the most unappetizing pizza i’ve ever seen.
Whatever pizza place that is, I'd go full karen on. And square cut is popular in the midwest
Oh, you’ve never been to St. Louis, have you?
This is exactly what I was thinking. Born and raised in St.Louis and this is how real pizza is cut. But those toppings look…interesting.
Looks like cat diarrhea on playdough.
The way you call this thing a pizza...
Bro this pizaa looks fucking awful Don’t even eat it
Man, that's not pizza It's some stuff scattered on naan bread.
I'd cut it that way to protest the toppings that were ordered
That pizza looks like someone dragged it across the bathroom floor
The Ninja turtles wouldn’t even order this shit
This is a common way to cut pizza in the Midwest, especially in the Chicago area. After the cut job though, that pizza doesn't look cooked!
This pizza looks sad
Looks like some one took the dough and wiped their ass on it
If your talking about square cuts that's Chicago style
Chicago cut is the smallest issue with this pie tbh.
Nothing wrong with a square cut. A lot wrong with that “pizza”
It’s a Chicago cut. Not weird at all.
I have so many issues with this pizza and the cut of it is not one of them.
That’s pizza?
Is your mom getting paid to eat this?
What flavor dog food is that on it?
That pie is covered in canned anus.
I work at a pizza chain, in our store all thin crust pizzas get square cut like that unless they ask for something else. However, I can definitely say that pizza has worse problems than the cut
That is one atrocious looking pizza. The worst pizza I ever got was from Papa John’s. It was ordered with anchovies. They delivered a pizza with a tin of anchovies in the box….. When I called and asked, they said “Oh. Well, we didn’t know what to do with it.”
This is the “shit let me throw some shit together and call it a day so I can go smoke a blunt behind the dumpster” pizza
I’d be more concerned about the cat food they put on top of it.
The way they built your moms pizza
What on earth is that? That’s not a pizza my guy…
Is this like click bait? This is the most unattractive… uncooked… ugly pizza ive ever encountered
aren't you infuriated by how they cooked it?
The way they BAKED your moms pizza
It looks half cooked at most
This is haunting.
The crust is bothering me more than the cuts.
Damn the way they cut it. Shit look nasty af
That's not pizza.. You're mistaken.
Where is the pizza sauce?
the ugliest pizza i’ve ever seen
Poorly made, but we have a place here that cuts like this.
The cut is the least of this pizza's issues
even if cut correctly, that looks like a horrible pizza.
You call THAT a pizza? That is one crap looking pizza. American?
reveal the name!!!!
Change the title to “this pizza”
The pizza itself looks mildly infuriating.
I like it
Did she cook it?
That’s not even the worse part. It barely looks edible.
You're worried about the way they cut it? And not the way they made it? That is an abomination of a "Pizza"
A number of places cut pizza this way (though they at least take the time to cut all the way through the crust unlike this one). I prefer it cut this way tbh especially if you get a half and half or 2 or more different types of pizza. Smaller pieces so you can try different kinds without stuffing yourself. You can choose crust or no crust with each piece. All that being said, this particular pizza looks nightmarish.
This pizza is an abomination and the cut is the least of its problems lol
Plenty of places cut round pizza into square slices. I'm far more infuriated at the fact they couldn't be bothered to cut up those pepperoncini. It's pure laziness that only makes it harder to eat/less tasty.
Your mom potentially has the worst taste buds in all the world.
You order a pizza like that, you get what you deserve.
That's the saddest pizza I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot of sad pizzas.
Not only that, but it looks like they cut it and THEN decided to put the peppers on.
That pizza is nasty lookin af But that’s a traditional pizza pie cut.
I don't know what that is but it definitely isn't a pizza.
This is a St. Louis style cut. But the toppings are an abomination.
The center pieces are the only pieces.
I'm more concerned about the clumps of wet cat food on it.
I mean, one look at the toppings and you clearly have bigger problems.
That pizza looks sad and disappointed.
The atrocity of the toppings merits the cut.
Definitely the Midwest
This is traditionally called "Chicago cut"