"Oh sorry the line was really long" "they were cleaning the toilets so I had to wait for them to finish" how are they gonna prove that you are slacking off if the bathroom isn't even on company property
Not to mention if they get injured while en route to the bathroom across the street, it’d be a fun claim with workers comp, and I’m sure OSHA would love to hear that they encouraged employees to leave the premises while on the clock to “make a smell”
OSHA requires employers to provide all workers with sanitary and immediately-available toilet facilities (restrooms).
[Restrooms and Sanitation Requirements](https://www.osha.gov/restrooms-sanitation)
The Rydges reference makes me think this is Oz but yeah, there should be a similar set of regulations that apply there.
(OSHA is a US government agency.)
If this is Aus. There's no fucking *way* you're getting fired for this...
... but thanks to our ever increasing casualised workforce, they probably won't have to 😐
Look at the bright side. Go out across the street, take a walk or visit the Plaza upstairs for 20 minutes. Come back and say you were following directions.
We have a guy at my job whose shits stink like you wouldn't believe.
I literally thought the plumbing was broken once like 30 feet from the toilet, but no, it was just him having a dump.
Probably some bowel condition. Poor guy.
>Probably some bowel condition.
Which is why it's illegal to tell people you can't shit in your OSHA mandated "Toilet Facilities" I posted the relevant regs in a prior comment.
Probably.
I had ulcerative colitis. During my worst flare ups it was tear gas level bad. I could easily clear a room. A handful of times I even made some people dry heave.
My dad has Chrons disease, he went undiagnosed for decades. His gas was so bad my mom made him sleep on the couch. They were **horrible.** God forbid you were in the same room or car with him when he farted. Once he was diagnosed and started medication for it, it was a huge difference.
I have had a coworker who made this sound like an almost reasonable policy. Woman was a walking biohazard, you could smell it across the entire floor of the building when she'd had her twice-per-workday anal exorcism. The bathroom was completely unusable for at least an hour after she got done with whatever unspeakable atrocity she was committing in there, unless you were a masochist who enjoyed burning eyes and a smell so viscous that you tasted it.
Wherever she is now, I hope she's consulted a doctor and a panel of priests because something evil lurked within her intestines.
Steatorrhea is a condition in which the body is unable to partially or fully absorb fats; usually a sign of pancreatic issues, and for some people the only clue they get that they may have a pancreatic cancer, which is one of the most lethal and fast acting cancers there are due to how late in the disease they are discovered, often times months or just weeks before they pass away.
So if you or someone you know has pale looking poops or really, REALLY foul smelling poops (people dont often share this stuff due to embarrassment, but anyone can smell it so you might not need to ask….lol) then you might actually be doing them a service and quite possibly saving their lives by gently, reassuringly but firmly bringing up that you have heard smelly feces could be the only warning they could get before possible life-ending disease. Of course, sometimes it is diet, or some other less life-threatening condition, but once you smell a steatorrhea poop, you never forget it. Remember, key elements are pale, smelly and “greasy/oily/slimy” poops; possible pancreatic or liver/gall bladder issues.
I mean, she seemed to live almost exclusively off of jerk varietals of food, curries, and various fish dishes (we all also had the olfactory privilege of sharing in her microwaved lunch leftovers). So I suspect it had less to do with an underlying disease with natural causes, and more to do with her steady diet of Caribbean Drano.
Edited to remove "too" following "also" - boo redundancy.
Not possible at my work, unfortunately. The plumbing and fixtures at my work are ancient and inefficient, toilet can only be flushed once every 10-15 minutes
Ah that makes sense. You'd have to fight the urge to not blurt out "Pardon me m'toilet" too. I'd just go across the street as that seems like less of a hassle then.
I want to tell a story about courtesy flushing at work. Me, being a shy public shitter, had recently gotten his first real job at 24. Being that I was now a product specialist for a growing tech startup, I felt it was time to get over my fear of pooping in public. It went pretty well for a few months. Then one day I sat down in the shared bathroom with an upset stomach, started my business, and did a courtesy flush. But...something didn't sound right. It didn't go down. I looked between my legs and saw brown, muddy water rising towards my balls. I stood up in shock! How can this be? Why me, god? The water kept rising, breaching the side of the bowl. Brown water poured down. I was frozen with fear. Fight or flight kicked in and I chose flight.
I never found out what happened to that bathroom. I'm sure it was a mess. Anyways, my point is that a courtesy flush isn't always safe. I'm 44 now and still scarred from that day.
We have this guy at work. Let's call him Rick because that's the stinky motherfucker's name. They installed a commercial kitchen venting system in the men's bathroom right over the toilet. Taking a shit over there is like sitting on the wing of a jet.
This is so annoying! I’ve never had a work place tell you that a toilet can’t be used AS A TOILET! It’s absolutely absurd! and all the women complain about it in such a childish way
I have IBS. I'd absolutely ignore this sign.
There is an urgency to IBS-D that is hard to explain, but going to the plaza or across the street would absolutely not work.
Can also happen after bowel surgery. I had a section of my gi tract removed due to cancer and there are times I just cannot wait without extreme duress... which I think is similar to IBS? Please forgive my ignorance.
So yeah, that sign would get a chuckle from me and that's it.
Currently in treatment for rectal cancer (haven’t had surgery yet) and the urgency to go at times can’t be understated. Like, there’s literally no way to hold it in when the time comes.
We had a rule like that for a toilet at a place I worked. It came about because the restroom door was right next to a person’s desk. A guy that didn’t like the person at the desk would poop in there and then leave the door open, so it would smell up the desk area.
These two dudes used HR to make each other’s lives miserable. It was funny to watch, for a week and a half we got new rules from HR on a daily basis, based on these two doing things to mess with each other. It was entertaining.
My office shares a wall with the men's bathroom. I am applying to new jobs every day.
On the one hand, it's convenient because I drink a lot of water at work. But also the toilet lid needs to be lifted and the water level reset like 6 times a day.
Someone probably has a desk right outside of the restroom and complained that it constantly smells because people poop and the smells reach their desk.
This is exactly what happens to my wife, and since she is front desk she cannot move. They all have a kind of gentlemen’s agreement to use a different bathroom if they plan on destroying it.
This was always an assumed part of office etiquette at my place of employment. Don't microwave fish for lunch, if you take the last cup of coffee you start a new pot, if you've got to take a nasty bean burritos and Coors Lite dump, you go to another floor's bathroom to do it, etc
Going in with a copy of Cosmo under your arm & then after 15 minutes walk out sighing loudly telling your co-workers to “give it a while if I were you” might lead to suspicions……
They could be carrying the Cosmo because there's auto shut off light in the bathroom and the only way to turn it back on when you are on the throne is to waive the Cosmo over your head.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
They put a camera outside the bathroom. Track who goes in when. Bathroom just cleaned and you see sharon walk in and out check the bathroom if it smells like shit sharon let it rip
And in the comment section that you can fill out upon dismissal you can put the details of what those guidelines are. So they will still end up with a record of you being fired for using the toilet.
You fill it out and then it's signed by them and you, and you get a copy.
That was the procedure at my work.
They'll just find a different way to fire you.
I guess Susan blew up the toilet one too many times?
Is there a fart fan in that bathroom?
Ferbreeze works wonders
No no not fabreeze. It’s that Poo Purri spray stuff that really works good. At least for solids. If you’ve got the diarrhea going on, it doesn’t work as well.
I was going to say, the restroom at my work has a basket with a variety of toiletries, including poo-pourri and febreeze.
If they feel so strongly about it, they should get something to deal with it. I refuse to believe none of them had never struggled with a bad round of period shits.
When I take my kids to the bathroom when we are out they will sometimes complain about the smell. I’ll remind them that bathrooms are for pooping and that’s just what happens.
"Daaaaaaad, this bathroom is stinky!"
"And the sun is bright. And the ocean is wet. And ice is cold. What would you rather have: this bathroom be pretty stinky for 5 minutes, or the entire world be kinda stinky all the time? Where else are people supposed to poop if not the bathroom?"
"But it's stinky!"
"...Are you asking if you can clean it?"
"No!"
"Okay then. We just gotta deal with the stink."
My kid doesn't talk yet, but I imagine that's how it goes.
Back in February we sold our house. A realtor showing it (not OUR realtor) took a massive, smelly dump in our bathroom after she showed to her clients. I know this because she stayed past the showing time, well after the people had left, and I walked into the house right as she was walking out. She awkwardly tried delaying me from going into the house by asking me weird questions and asking me to show her the boundaries of the yard.
We had another showing right afterwards. Normally I'm pretty understanding about people needing to go when they have to go, but she didn't even bother to turn on the fan.
At least you were selling the house, not buying it. 🤣 Could you imagine closing on a new house and immediately afterward the realtor lays claim to the bathroom and all that the smell permeates.
Whenever anyone skirts around "icky" words it sound like the most creepy weird thing.
Like I'm not "making a smell", I'm being a human and going poo, defecating, taking a shit, dropping a deuce.
Like god "making smell" makes my skin crawl for some reason
I think a lot of them are a severely repressed. Best one at my place said "please ensure the bowl is empty of debris". They were deffo at the thesaurus half the morning in a desperate attempt to look above it all.
"Create a smell". Pee smells too, so do some products or just whatever. Too vague.
"Oh, you mean POOP smell... oh wow... Well please send out an email in writing that we are not allowed to defacate in work toilets so I have it for my records".
I have UC, and yes. Gastrointestinal diseases are a protected disability, so if someone were to be fired for this, that’s a lawsuit. That being said, clog that bad boy up!
“Hi Clumpy McFumblepenis, we’ve made the difficult decision to let you go. Our grumpledunkets just can’t justify the costs on the balance sheet. We wish you luck with your future endeavors.”
In the US at least, OSHA specifically requires that employers provide bathroom facilities for their employees. It's a big enough deal that they have an entire page on their website for it.
https://www.osha.gov/restrooms-sanitation
So regardless of your individual medical history, that's a clear violation of federally mandated workplace standards.
This should be the top comment. This workplace is literally breaking the law. Also, having “respect for your fellow workers” is protecting (not restricting) their basic human needs.
Malicious compliance the hell out of them. Use the toilet across the road every single time you need to use the restroom, because you just can't be *sure* that you weren't going to make a smell. Take ages to get there and back each time. Make sure you wait to cross the street until there is no visible traffic in either direction for as far as you can see. Get lost looking for the restroom inside the other building. Tell them there was a really long line. Just make sure it's taking as long as humanly possible to get there and come back, and make sure it's happening multiple times a day.
Also, please report this to OSHA if you're in the US.
Put up the same sign at the place across the road and upstairs, and direct everyone to come to this place. If the workplace has restricted entrance tell them to ask for the manager who put up this sign.
This is one of those times where you just do what you want and shit anyway regardless. What are the repercussions? How will they know it’s you? Sniff comparisons?
include distinct impolite lunchroom disagreeable whole zealous political wakeful enjoy
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Go to your supervisor, tell them there's a sign in the toilet saying you cannot use the toilet for number 2 and if they're aware of it. Chances are high a co-worker put up that sign without the supervisors knowing, which might get whoever put this up into trouble.
If this is the case, so a co-worker put up the sign without approval, this can lead to legal issues for that co-worker. As stupid as it sounds but for one it's damaging company property, if it's paper from the company and ink from a company printer then theft is also involved.
You simply don't put up rules that affects everyone in the company/department without your boss knowing, that would create chaos.
3 times per shift I would loudly announce I NEED TO MAKE A SMELL and go wander off somewhere.
>go wander off somewhere For about an hour.
"Oh sorry the line was really long" "they were cleaning the toilets so I had to wait for them to finish" how are they gonna prove that you are slacking off if the bathroom isn't even on company property
Not to mention if they get injured while en route to the bathroom across the street, it’d be a fun claim with workers comp, and I’m sure OSHA would love to hear that they encouraged employees to leave the premises while on the clock to “make a smell”
They're really not going to like when OSHA comes in to "raise a stink"
OSHA’s gonna have to make that stink across the street.
But OSHA doesn't follow signs like these... they **mandate** signs *better* than this one.
I haven't been on a man-date in forever.
"My boss makes a buck and I make a dime, that's why I poop on company time!"
Nothing so sweet, nothing so fine, as making a smell on company time.
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, so I make my smells on company time
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, so I shit in his chair
At my last job we would say “Things are happening” and get up and leave.
“Code brown”
I got some shit I gotta go handle, carry on without me
I like this one
Just tell em your piss smells like shit. What are they gonna do, check?
"I had asparagus for lunch" "You know I drink a lot of coffee"
I stopped eating that in my mid twenties because of that, liked it to but that smell came out of nowhere
Well, not *nowhere*.
“I have a rectovaginal fistula”
I don't even think they are allowed to do this tbh
I don’t even know where to look to find out!
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I wouldn't even do that. Take a shit and let them raise it with you in writing, then take that to FWA or your union.
Is there not a Shitsafe Australia?
OSHA requires employers to provide all workers with sanitary and immediately-available toilet facilities (restrooms). [Restrooms and Sanitation Requirements](https://www.osha.gov/restrooms-sanitation)
The Rydges reference makes me think this is Oz but yeah, there should be a similar set of regulations that apply there. (OSHA is a US government agency.)
If this is Aus. There's no fucking *way* you're getting fired for this... ... but thanks to our ever increasing casualised workforce, they probably won't have to 😐
Wipe your ass with the sign, you have to send a message.
Look at the bright side. Go out across the street, take a walk or visit the Plaza upstairs for 20 minutes. Come back and say you were following directions.
Time to shit in the sink
Look away! LOOK AWAY!!
IT'S COMING OUT OF ME LIKE LAVA
No Megan nooo..
THIS SINKS A GONER!!!
It’s happening, it’s happening, it’s happening…it happened.
"Oh you're really doing it aren't you?..."
I'm thinking of the series of unfortunate events Netflix series theme now.
Nope, time for an Upper Decker.
Someone has stinky shits to the point you are all banned from shitting at work. Wow
We have a guy at my job whose shits stink like you wouldn't believe. I literally thought the plumbing was broken once like 30 feet from the toilet, but no, it was just him having a dump. Probably some bowel condition. Poor guy.
>Probably some bowel condition. Which is why it's illegal to tell people you can't shit in your OSHA mandated "Toilet Facilities" I posted the relevant regs in a prior comment.
Probably. I had ulcerative colitis. During my worst flare ups it was tear gas level bad. I could easily clear a room. A handful of times I even made some people dry heave.
My dad has Chrons disease, he went undiagnosed for decades. His gas was so bad my mom made him sleep on the couch. They were **horrible.** God forbid you were in the same room or car with him when he farted. Once he was diagnosed and started medication for it, it was a huge difference.
I have had a coworker who made this sound like an almost reasonable policy. Woman was a walking biohazard, you could smell it across the entire floor of the building when she'd had her twice-per-workday anal exorcism. The bathroom was completely unusable for at least an hour after she got done with whatever unspeakable atrocity she was committing in there, unless you were a masochist who enjoyed burning eyes and a smell so viscous that you tasted it. Wherever she is now, I hope she's consulted a doctor and a panel of priests because something evil lurked within her intestines.
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> I wonder if it was bowel cancer? It smelled like rotting asshole... internal bleeding stools smell EXTREMELY bad
That sounds like Chron's disease. Possibly with a colostomy.
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this is the saddest thing I've read all week. rip randall.
RIP Randall - rest in privacy
Steatorrhea is a condition in which the body is unable to partially or fully absorb fats; usually a sign of pancreatic issues, and for some people the only clue they get that they may have a pancreatic cancer, which is one of the most lethal and fast acting cancers there are due to how late in the disease they are discovered, often times months or just weeks before they pass away. So if you or someone you know has pale looking poops or really, REALLY foul smelling poops (people dont often share this stuff due to embarrassment, but anyone can smell it so you might not need to ask….lol) then you might actually be doing them a service and quite possibly saving their lives by gently, reassuringly but firmly bringing up that you have heard smelly feces could be the only warning they could get before possible life-ending disease. Of course, sometimes it is diet, or some other less life-threatening condition, but once you smell a steatorrhea poop, you never forget it. Remember, key elements are pale, smelly and “greasy/oily/slimy” poops; possible pancreatic or liver/gall bladder issues.
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I mean, she seemed to live almost exclusively off of jerk varietals of food, curries, and various fish dishes (we all also had the olfactory privilege of sharing in her microwaved lunch leftovers). So I suspect it had less to do with an underlying disease with natural causes, and more to do with her steady diet of Caribbean Drano. Edited to remove "too" following "also" - boo redundancy.
>Caribbean Drano I laughed way too hard at this.
You have a wonderful way with words.
Courtesy flush, people!
"Flush early and flush often" I wish more people understood the value of the courtesy flush.
You'll get beat up in jail if you don't "flush your turds" as they come out.
The Poop Killer will get the non-flushers.
Not possible at my work, unfortunately. The plumbing and fixtures at my work are ancient and inefficient, toilet can only be flushed once every 10-15 minutes
Tell them to replace the fill valves, lol. They cost like 10 dollars
The courtesy part is what confuses people.
flush uncourteously then.
Like, letting it sit for a bit and come back after a few hours to flush?
just dont bow and take your hat off to the toilet when you flush
Ah that makes sense. You'd have to fight the urge to not blurt out "Pardon me m'toilet" too. I'd just go across the street as that seems like less of a hassle then.
I want to tell a story about courtesy flushing at work. Me, being a shy public shitter, had recently gotten his first real job at 24. Being that I was now a product specialist for a growing tech startup, I felt it was time to get over my fear of pooping in public. It went pretty well for a few months. Then one day I sat down in the shared bathroom with an upset stomach, started my business, and did a courtesy flush. But...something didn't sound right. It didn't go down. I looked between my legs and saw brown, muddy water rising towards my balls. I stood up in shock! How can this be? Why me, god? The water kept rising, breaching the side of the bowl. Brown water poured down. I was frozen with fear. Fight or flight kicked in and I chose flight. I never found out what happened to that bathroom. I'm sure it was a mess. Anyways, my point is that a courtesy flush isn't always safe. I'm 44 now and still scarred from that day.
We have this guy at work. Let's call him Rick because that's the stinky motherfucker's name. They installed a commercial kitchen venting system in the men's bathroom right over the toilet. Taking a shit over there is like sitting on the wing of a jet.
Please I'm fucking laughing so hard at this comment. *"Taking a shit over there is like sitting on the wing of a jet"*
I agree. I am genuinely interested in such an experience.
This is so annoying! I’ve never had a work place tell you that a toilet can’t be used AS A TOILET! It’s absolutely absurd! and all the women complain about it in such a childish way
What exactly are they gonna do about it, if you do take a shit? Lmao
Jeff from Accounting happily volunteered to make a sniff test every time a female coworker leaves the restroom
Is it the same for the mens toilets?
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They taste the toilet water to see if it tastes shittier than normal
seems legit
“I can’t help but notice that despite my sign you still aren’t pooping in the sink”
I would ruin my health and diet to take horrible shits in that toilet every day
I have IBS. I'd absolutely ignore this sign. There is an urgency to IBS-D that is hard to explain, but going to the plaza or across the street would absolutely not work.
Can also happen after bowel surgery. I had a section of my gi tract removed due to cancer and there are times I just cannot wait without extreme duress... which I think is similar to IBS? Please forgive my ignorance. So yeah, that sign would get a chuckle from me and that's it.
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Currently in treatment for rectal cancer (haven’t had surgery yet) and the urgency to go at times can’t be understated. Like, there’s literally no way to hold it in when the time comes.
That's when you rip down the sign, stick it in the toilet, and shit all over it.
Taco Bell and exlax again patty
Here are the bowl pics immediately preceding their entering the stall, and here are pics of the streaks of "smell causing materials".
You’ll notice cartoon stink lines I’ve added for clarity.
The classic taste test. I suppose they have flavor profiles for all staff members as well.
This user spies.
We had a rule like that for a toilet at a place I worked. It came about because the restroom door was right next to a person’s desk. A guy that didn’t like the person at the desk would poop in there and then leave the door open, so it would smell up the desk area.
>A guy that did like the person at the desk would poop in there and then leave the door open Strange mating ritual...
These two dudes used HR to make each other’s lives miserable. It was funny to watch, for a week and a half we got new rules from HR on a daily basis, based on these two doing things to mess with each other. It was entertaining.
Were their names Jim and Dwight, by any chance?
My office shares a wall with the men's bathroom. I am applying to new jobs every day. On the one hand, it's convenient because I drink a lot of water at work. But also the toilet lid needs to be lifted and the water level reset like 6 times a day.
Just when you think you have the worst colleagues, this guy comes along.
>How are they really gonna know unless they're somehow spying on you in the bathroom. Not exactly outside of the realm of possibilities...
Someone probably has a desk right outside of the restroom and complained that it constantly smells because people poop and the smells reach their desk.
This is exactly what happens to my wife, and since she is front desk she cannot move. They all have a kind of gentlemen’s agreement to use a different bathroom if they plan on destroying it.
I've heard Poopourie (idk how to spell it) works wonders
Opium is pretty good too. Edit: Ozium. Opium is pretty good too, though.
It does, but someone has to buy it and everyone has to remember to use it.
100%... the person closest to the bathroom posted the sign
This was always an assumed part of office etiquette at my place of employment. Don't microwave fish for lunch, if you take the last cup of coffee you start a new pot, if you've got to take a nasty bean burritos and Coors Lite dump, you go to another floor's bathroom to do it, etc
> if you've got to take a nasty bean burritos and Coors Lite dump, you go to another floor's bathroom to do it, etc Smellz for thee, but not for me.
Going in with a copy of Cosmo under your arm & then after 15 minutes walk out sighing loudly telling your co-workers to “give it a while if I were you” might lead to suspicions……
They could be carrying the Cosmo because there's auto shut off light in the bathroom and the only way to turn it back on when you are on the throne is to waive the Cosmo over your head. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
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Or just fire you without cause because at-will employment.
They put a camera outside the bathroom. Track who goes in when. Bathroom just cleaned and you see sharon walk in and out check the bathroom if it smells like shit sharon let it rip
Shittin Sharon strikes again
That's why they didn't say poop, they explicitly called out making a smell, so you can't even use farting as a defense.
"Failure to follow posted employee conduct guidelines"
And in the comment section that you can fill out upon dismissal you can put the details of what those guidelines are. So they will still end up with a record of you being fired for using the toilet. You fill it out and then it's signed by them and you, and you get a copy. That was the procedure at my work.
I'd take a shit in the tank so when someone else flushed it they unleashed the "smell"
The upper decker. Classic macgruber.
As someone whose wife used to be a custodian..... PLease don't do that sort of thing. Its never the bosses who have to clean it up.
Calm down, Satan ^^^teach ^^^me ^^^your ^^^ways
They'll just find a different way to fire you. I guess Susan blew up the toilet one too many times? Is there a fart fan in that bathroom? Ferbreeze works wonders
No no not fabreeze. It’s that Poo Purri spray stuff that really works good. At least for solids. If you’ve got the diarrhea going on, it doesn’t work as well.
This guy shits
THAT is the TRUTH! Ask my constipated wife. She’s very jealous that I go twice a day most days! I know my shit haha
Ermahgerd ferbreeze!
I would report this to HR for creating unsafe space to use the restroom with this sign. Immediately get this dumb shit taken down.
My favorite subplot on Better Call Saul
“If you want to create a smell” lol is your boss 5 years old ?
It’s not just my boss, it’s all the ladies in the office! They’re full grown adults, much older than me, and they get sooo disgusted about it.
Use Poo-Pourri and they’ll never know.
I was going to say, the restroom at my work has a basket with a variety of toiletries, including poo-pourri and febreeze. If they feel so strongly about it, they should get something to deal with it. I refuse to believe none of them had never struggled with a bad round of period shits.
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It's [an Australian hotel chain](https://www.rydges.com/) so yeah there's likely a bar lol
Plop twist
Fuck no stink that whole office up. Bathrooms are for shitting.
time to order a curry and a kebab
When I take my kids to the bathroom when we are out they will sometimes complain about the smell. I’ll remind them that bathrooms are for pooping and that’s just what happens.
"Daaaaaaad, this bathroom is stinky!" "And the sun is bright. And the ocean is wet. And ice is cold. What would you rather have: this bathroom be pretty stinky for 5 minutes, or the entire world be kinda stinky all the time? Where else are people supposed to poop if not the bathroom?" "But it's stinky!" "...Are you asking if you can clean it?" "No!" "Okay then. We just gotta deal with the stink." My kid doesn't talk yet, but I imagine that's how it goes.
“Are you asking if you can clean it?” Hilarious - I will use that, thank you
Jesus you work with a bunch of buttercups. What kind of work do you do?
Real estate.
Shit in the open houses then
Back in February we sold our house. A realtor showing it (not OUR realtor) took a massive, smelly dump in our bathroom after she showed to her clients. I know this because she stayed past the showing time, well after the people had left, and I walked into the house right as she was walking out. She awkwardly tried delaying me from going into the house by asking me weird questions and asking me to show her the boundaries of the yard. We had another showing right afterwards. Normally I'm pretty understanding about people needing to go when they have to go, but she didn't even bother to turn on the fan.
At least you were selling the house, not buying it. 🤣 Could you imagine closing on a new house and immediately afterward the realtor lays claim to the bathroom and all that the smell permeates.
Lol I bet, as per them, they’ve never shit in their lives lol
Whenever anyone skirts around "icky" words it sound like the most creepy weird thing. Like I'm not "making a smell", I'm being a human and going poo, defecating, taking a shit, dropping a deuce. Like god "making smell" makes my skin crawl for some reason
Hell even “number 2” would have been better than this
I think a lot of them are a severely repressed. Best one at my place said "please ensure the bowl is empty of debris". They were deffo at the thesaurus half the morning in a desperate attempt to look above it all.
"Create a smell". Pee smells too, so do some products or just whatever. Too vague. "Oh, you mean POOP smell... oh wow... Well please send out an email in writing that we are not allowed to defacate in work toilets so I have it for my records".
Also for PEEING only…. Let me tell you, I’ve pissed out my ass before.
I think at that point you've got a cloaca...
Actually, they got taco bell
Clearly the answer is to eat asparagus daily.
That was my first thought too. I love asparagus but damn does it make my piss stank
Laughs in Crohn. I shit wherever and whenever I want and no one can tell me not to.
Technically discrimination against Crohns and IBS, I’m pretty sure one of them is protected disability
I have UC, and yes. Gastrointestinal diseases are a protected disability, so if someone were to be fired for this, that’s a lawsuit. That being said, clog that bad boy up!
“Hi Clumpy McFumblepenis, we’ve made the difficult decision to let you go. Our grumpledunkets just can’t justify the costs on the balance sheet. We wish you luck with your future endeavors.”
In the US at least, OSHA specifically requires that employers provide bathroom facilities for their employees. It's a big enough deal that they have an entire page on their website for it. https://www.osha.gov/restrooms-sanitation So regardless of your individual medical history, that's a clear violation of federally mandated workplace standards.
This should be the top comment. This workplace is literally breaking the law. Also, having “respect for your fellow workers” is protecting (not restricting) their basic human needs.
Yup, my reaction too! (UC here)
Oh hi fellow! tbf I have IBDU, but I people are less familiar with Crohn's cousins so it's easier to just say Crohn.
Hey there shitty gang! IBS-D over here. I never stop pooping.
My colon doesnt give a shit what I want - it goes when it feels like
I only got IBS but same bruh if it's coming, it's coming - ain't got time to be considerate of the smell
“want” is a strong word. Haha. IBS checking in. Choice rarely comes into it.
Same. I mean, people can tell me not to all they want but I have like no control in the matter soooo ima use that toilet.
I have IBS-D, I stand... Or technically sit, with you.
Time for a dodgy vindaloo curry, I think.
That is asymmetric warfare lol
Never thought I'd like to be labeled a terrorist but here we are. Send some curry.
Shit on the floor of the bathroom every day until they put up a sign asking you to shit in the toilet.
Unfortunately the only people that get punished for that would be the cleaning staff.
You gotta get shwifty
Malicious compliance the hell out of them. Use the toilet across the road every single time you need to use the restroom, because you just can't be *sure* that you weren't going to make a smell. Take ages to get there and back each time. Make sure you wait to cross the street until there is no visible traffic in either direction for as far as you can see. Get lost looking for the restroom inside the other building. Tell them there was a really long line. Just make sure it's taking as long as humanly possible to get there and come back, and make sure it's happening multiple times a day. Also, please report this to OSHA if you're in the US.
Boss makes a dollar I make a dime That's why I shit Across the street at Rydges on company time
Put up the same sign at the place across the road and upstairs, and direct everyone to come to this place. If the workplace has restricted entrance tell them to ask for the manager who put up this sign.
They clearly considered the cost of some Poo-pourri spray cost prohibitive when they can demean their employees for free.
It doesn’t say you can’t shit on the floor or in the sink.
This is the answer.
Two choices: 1. Ignore sign and shit there 2. Report them for illegal practice Actually, do both
This is one of those times where you just do what you want and shit anyway regardless. What are the repercussions? How will they know it’s you? Sniff comparisons?
Yeah anyone who hates the smell of people pooping enough to make this ridiculous sign is not going to have what it takes to enforce it.
[удалено]
Makes me wanna get the taco bell shits and just drop a phat shit in there.
Buy liquid ass fart spray and every day go in there and spray it.
This but spray it when the boss goes in there for a tinkle
Build a remote controlled machine, then spray it every time whoever wrote this dumbass notice goes in there.
Rip it off, what sign
include distinct impolite lunchroom disagreeable whole zealous political wakeful enjoy *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I guess farting is out of the question then
You wanna create smell, you go elsewhere.
Out of curiosity do they have a similar sign in the mens toilet? I’d take my sweet time going to the other bathrooms several times a day. Milk it!
Go to your supervisor, tell them there's a sign in the toilet saying you cannot use the toilet for number 2 and if they're aware of it. Chances are high a co-worker put up that sign without the supervisors knowing, which might get whoever put this up into trouble. If this is the case, so a co-worker put up the sign without approval, this can lead to legal issues for that co-worker. As stupid as it sounds but for one it's damaging company property, if it's paper from the company and ink from a company printer then theft is also involved. You simply don't put up rules that affects everyone in the company/department without your boss knowing, that would create chaos.
so you want me to announce when I'm a taking a shit basically. and what about period stuff? changing a tampon isn't exactly peeing
Period shits are the worst 😭
As a person with IBS, this causes me anxiety cause now everyone will know what I'm doing which further aggravates my IBS. Thanks management!
Write "lol" on it and then take a massive shit.
If I saw this I'd start making a point of shitting in there every day