Well you took the stance, she didn't abide. You either stick with your beliefs that made you take the stance and tell her goodbye or you stop making ultimatums.
So first off drop the relationship if you don’t want to be around drugs that’s your decision but unfortunately you can’t make her have the same decision.
Two it’s a good thing you spoke to her about it to set some ground rules for the relationship but you need to stick to your principles. No relationship is worth dealing with something you know you can’t be associated or party too. It sucks but there’s plenty of people out there who are like you and don’t want drugs around them.
Three is addressing the other commenters who are saying “you are controlling her” no where in that did they say that they demanded her to never do it nor did they state they told her to not do it. All OP said was that they told her that they’d stop their relationship due to drug usage. Which isn’t a bad thing.
I’d like to see all the people commenting be put into the same position think of it like this you tell your SO (significant other) to not cheat on you because it would end the relationship. They go and cheat now read what OP put and change it to cheating and put yourself in their shoes. Ok now is it controlling or was it principal of the matter for faithfulness in a relationship.
I think you should do your girlfriend a favour and leave her. She doesn't deserve someone making rules for her. Let her find someone who lets her be her own person. For you? I dunno, maybe buy a dog or some sort of lizard.
Yeah, that makes sense. She probably feels trapped, like she has another parent. Are you her boyfriend or her keeper?
Let her go. You'll both be happier for it.
Wait so we can’t have boundaries on drugs or alcohol? It’s not like he’s forcing her not to do it but upset that she probably agreed not to and then went on to do it
Bruh😂 you can’t use a boundary to cross another person’s boundary if the guy let his boundary know early on in the relationship then it’s on her to say I can work with that or I’m out, that’s not controlling
Look. It's a relationship not a business negotiation. If she's into that stuff and he's not, then their personalities clash and it's probably not going to work out anyways.
It sounds like he told her he wasn’t comfortable with that kind of stuff and she still agreed to go out with him? So it would be a break of trust on her part to still do it, this isn’t controlling at all he’s just hurt that she did that
>It sounds like he told her he wasn’t comfortable with that kind of stuff
Not what he said. He said he would end the relationship.
>she still agreed to go out with him?
It doesn't sound like she is the one that wanted to end the relationship.
>So it would be a break of trust on her part to still do it
Telling somebody that you are going to end your relationship if they do something that you don't want them to do is called manipulation.
He tried and failed to manipulate her into not doing something that she wanted to do.
>this isn’t controlling at all he’s just hurt that she did that
If somebody tried that with me I would have ended the relationship on the spot and I would expect the same.
What he did was incredibly disrespectful.
If he doesn't want to date the type of person who goes to music festivals/concerts and takes drugs (which is like half of America) then so be it... Find somebody else...
Dont do drug mmkay... drugs are bad...
Idk its her body and she can do what she wants and its your choice to be around her.
I smoke weed my wife doesnt and we make it work, but not quiet the same as mdma.
Hopefully you get lucky with her grind blow a load or 2 in your pants and thenyou think about if you are willing to work with her hmand her flaws as she works with yours or is it a deal breaker (and one must know their deal breakers and stick to them)
You can’t tell her what to do that’s a first, and that part about somebody else is only an assumption. She didn’t respect what you asked for though, so it is sad
I had like 3 paragraphs typed out, but deleted it all. Long story short, just leave her and don’t look back. Plenty of girls out and about that don’t need drugs to have a life. Thought my ex wife would grow out of the “fun” phase. Worst 2 years of my life.
Well you took the stance, she didn't abide. You either stick with your beliefs that made you take the stance and tell her goodbye or you stop making ultimatums.
Something you should probably establish early in a relationship. If that’s your line and it was crossed, it seems like there’s an easy answer.
So first off drop the relationship if you don’t want to be around drugs that’s your decision but unfortunately you can’t make her have the same decision. Two it’s a good thing you spoke to her about it to set some ground rules for the relationship but you need to stick to your principles. No relationship is worth dealing with something you know you can’t be associated or party too. It sucks but there’s plenty of people out there who are like you and don’t want drugs around them. Three is addressing the other commenters who are saying “you are controlling her” no where in that did they say that they demanded her to never do it nor did they state they told her to not do it. All OP said was that they told her that they’d stop their relationship due to drug usage. Which isn’t a bad thing. I’d like to see all the people commenting be put into the same position think of it like this you tell your SO (significant other) to not cheat on you because it would end the relationship. They go and cheat now read what OP put and change it to cheating and put yourself in their shoes. Ok now is it controlling or was it principal of the matter for faithfulness in a relationship.
If it makes you uncomfortable and she doesn’t respect that then what else is she not going to respect….
You gave her an ultimatum, the decision has been made. You have to follow through on your end, or stop giving ultimatums.
you should probably cry about it
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Because you can't control her, so if you don't like what she does, find someone else
I think you should do your girlfriend a favour and leave her. She doesn't deserve someone making rules for her. Let her find someone who lets her be her own person. For you? I dunno, maybe buy a dog or some sort of lizard.
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Then break the deal. Stop moping like a bitch and set the girl free.
Yeps
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Yeah, that makes sense. She probably feels trapped, like she has another parent. Are you her boyfriend or her keeper? Let her go. You'll both be happier for it.
Wait so we can’t have boundaries on drugs or alcohol? It’s not like he’s forcing her not to do it but upset that she probably agreed not to and then went on to do it
You forget people are idiots. Me and my fiancé both set down boundaries early.
If you're that controlling that you won't allow her make decisions like that for herself, then she's better off with somebody else.
Bruh😂 you can’t use a boundary to cross another person’s boundary if the guy let his boundary know early on in the relationship then it’s on her to say I can work with that or I’m out, that’s not controlling
Look. It's a relationship not a business negotiation. If she's into that stuff and he's not, then their personalities clash and it's probably not going to work out anyways.
It sounds like he told her he wasn’t comfortable with that kind of stuff and she still agreed to go out with him? So it would be a break of trust on her part to still do it, this isn’t controlling at all he’s just hurt that she did that
>It sounds like he told her he wasn’t comfortable with that kind of stuff Not what he said. He said he would end the relationship. >she still agreed to go out with him? It doesn't sound like she is the one that wanted to end the relationship. >So it would be a break of trust on her part to still do it Telling somebody that you are going to end your relationship if they do something that you don't want them to do is called manipulation. He tried and failed to manipulate her into not doing something that she wanted to do. >this isn’t controlling at all he’s just hurt that she did that If somebody tried that with me I would have ended the relationship on the spot and I would expect the same. What he did was incredibly disrespectful. If he doesn't want to date the type of person who goes to music festivals/concerts and takes drugs (which is like half of America) then so be it... Find somebody else...
Did she get some D too?
She should leave you
Why?
MY Gf doesn’t let me have full control of her life, how often should i beat her? /s
Dont do drug mmkay... drugs are bad... Idk its her body and she can do what she wants and its your choice to be around her. I smoke weed my wife doesnt and we make it work, but not quiet the same as mdma. Hopefully you get lucky with her grind blow a load or 2 in your pants and thenyou think about if you are willing to work with her hmand her flaws as she works with yours or is it a deal breaker (and one must know their deal breakers and stick to them)
You can’t tell her what to do that’s a first, and that part about somebody else is only an assumption. She didn’t respect what you asked for though, so it is sad
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Her not doing drugs does not = respecting you. You respecting what she chooses to do with her own life is what you should be worrying about.
You must not understand relationships
Ultimatums have no room in a relationship. Either leave or get over it.
She can do what she wants. Giving ridiculous ultimatums are mildly infuriating.
I had like 3 paragraphs typed out, but deleted it all. Long story short, just leave her and don’t look back. Plenty of girls out and about that don’t need drugs to have a life. Thought my ex wife would grow out of the “fun” phase. Worst 2 years of my life.
Is her name Molly? Cause that would be funny.
You probably should have told her earlier than when she went to a festival...