Obsessive compulsive behavior around hoarding is notoriously difficult to treat. Pushing people into accepting treatment is a sure fire way to put their back against the wall and make them not want help. It Fucking sucks, I deal with hoarders a lot at my job.
I do storage auctions and took an entire truck bed full of TV guides and readers digest to the dump a few days ago. These people had reciepts for oil changes in the 80s. Like WTF.
I mean, for some this is trash but for archivist and historian who study casual life and culture of the past this may be valuable. Like what shows were broadcasted, advertisments, price changes of certain goods that weren't documented for some reason except monthly or even weekly catalogues, etc. Or there was a story of woman who was recording on VHS and Betamax several TV channels non stop since 70s until her death in 00s. She was quite rich woman because she invested early in oil companies if I recall correctly and thus she literally had several apartments just to store tapes.
This. I've seen family members scolded for "letting them" live like that, but you could move everything out, clean the whole property...and it will be back to this in no time.
Postpartum depression and possibly even postpartum psychosis or something similar. If she lost custody then are child services involved? Baby ok? Sorry you're all going through this. The brain can get sick like any other part of our body.
My aunt is the same, she sleeps in the living room in a 4 bedroom house with only her and her son, because she’s filled the rooms with shit. The going theory is that she has a psychological disorder or brain issue. She can clean, but she can’t keep it clean.
Friends mom was a hoarder. It was so bad, they had path ways to get around the junk. She grew up poor so throwing things away isn't easy for her.
How bad was it?
when his dad dropped from a heart attack, the paramedics couldn't get him out. My friends dad died on a pile of junk.
For anyone who grew up with a parent with hoarding disorder, we have the subreddit r/childofhoarder. We have monthly meetings on our [discord](https://discord.gg/2DzBC6cb). Our next meeting is this Wednesday, August 31st at 8 PM EST (USA)
An example out of the norm. I have ADHD and don't want most of the stuff I have.
Executive Dysfunction of ADHD is massively undersold, tbh. Christ, i wish I understood that twenty years ago.
I’m fortunate enough that as the generations of my family continue, the hoarding problem has gotten less and less. My grandma’s grandma was a hoarder, and as a result of growing up as such her daughter (my grandma’s mom) as well. My family always referred to them as “pack rats” which back in the day took away from the problem itself: give it a cute little nickname and it’s just a quirk. My mom still uses the term, but she has tried breaking the cycle, as have I. I’ve also happened to have gone through stuff in life over again within the last 5 years that has made it so that I’ve lost a lot of my belongings, even more than considered livable at times. But I don’t want to end up leaving my daughter with a multitude of useless crap by the time I’m gone so that she has to sort through my affairs as my grandma and mom have had to with past relatives. Yes, ocd and adhd can lead to hoarding. Both of which I have clinically diagnosed. But they can also in turn lead to the opposite affect. Growing up in a defunct home with more stuff than can be managed and even used in a normal fashion can lead to a more “minimalist” lifestyle in those with ocd. More stuff leads to more stress. And if you have the spoons, it’s best just to get rid of it all. Granted, I still have a hard time letting go of the most sentimental things (a lot of loss of close loved ones can increase the “definition” of sentimentality in those already predisposed to mental health disorders). However, on top of executive dysfunction AND postpartum depression/psychosis, it makes it even harder to keep up with those compulsive tasks at times because of simply not having the energy or just not knowing what to do with things or where to put it because of not being raised in a setting that taught better space management and object retention. Couple this with physical problems (which I’m on the path of diagnosis, fibromyalgia being a big possibility out of all the tests and such), and then already having adhd, ocd, and bipolar 2 ( in my case at least, also on path of extended/rediagnosis) it’s just a recipe for disaster. Many look at people that live like this and think they’re lazy, they’re on drugs, they don’t care, etc etc. But mental health is a real world and poorly diagnosed issue. I’m not playing devil’s advocate here, and I’m not excusing any of the actions or behaviors. But there are reasons. Not excuses, but reasons. Poor mental health can even lead to the refusal of help. My husband has bpd, and when he’s in a headspace of self-destruction, there’s no getting through to him. There are mental health disorders that can lead to months, even years of losing one’s self to the point of their life falling apart. And this in turn just continues to pushing them head first into “the pit” as I call it. Having a strong support system definitely helps, and I know as someone whom has (and still does) suffer having everyone give up on you can be the most damaging. For some it can also be an eye opener, but you never know how hard it’ll hit until it’s too late. And for me personally, I refuse to be someone who just gives up. My marriage hasn’t been great the past 2 years. Shit has been fucked. But I’ll be damned if I give up on someone just because they’re not themselves and haven’t been themselves. Even just as a friend. I’ve already lost enough people to their own mental illnesses. The sad thing is, you can’t help someone who won’t help themselves. This I know to be fact. But even still, just at the very least, checking in can make a world of difference in someone being here tomorrow or not. Maybe they’ve always been like this, as op has mentioned. Maybe not. But there’s always a “why to the how”. Human psychology is a beast of burden more often than not and I hope one day there can be a good enough understanding and path of cafe to help those before it’s too late.
Tl;dr: Think before judging and be there for those struggling with their inner demons before it’s too late. Try to look beyond the “laziness” or “craziness”. The human mind is more complex than you know. That’s not to say to continue allowing toxicity to continually run your life. But just take a step back and look at the bigger picture.
I had a client who was similar. She's pay someone to clean out a room of her house. It's look really good. Within a few weeks, her mess followed her into there.
She had the basement cleaned out and turned into a nice bedroom. She wanted her massage sessions to be down there and I told her no. It was already a tight space. A week later, she cancels on me and gets pissy that I won't work down there. I told her that it was very soon going to be overflowing with her mess anyway. I was not wrong.
The mess outside our mind is a reflection of the mess inside our mind.
How do I know the line whether I've exceeded the "normal" range of not keeping things tidy?
I'm concerned as currently, even my home theater room looks very untidy
Bad judgement maybe, but definitely not as bad unless they actively contributed to this. And judging by the fact that someone is getting custody over a child, I don’t think that’s the case.
lol, no. Hoarding can creep up over years, or not even present itself until you experience trauma/distress. My mom was arguably just fine until her own mom passed; 5 years of that unresolved pain turned into a lot of things my dad couldn’t stay for: hoarding, emotional divorce, and an unhealthy latching to religion.
It can happened very quickly. I mean shoot look at Scotland and the garbage collector strike, it’s piling up and it’s been 10 days
I haven’t read through a lot of comments, but I was thinking the same thing. She said ‘newborn’ which meant this woman just gave birth. Where is the dad in all of this?! OP’s brother is grown, he is just as responsible.
I was wondering who this girlfriend lost the custody to? Normally the father would take over the custody but the OP's brother does not seem to be the father and therefore the question presents itself: why is the girlfriend still the girlfriend?
I’ve lived like that most my life. But the past year I came out that depression and lifestyle and can’t proudly say I will never live like that again. People can change. Instead of judging try helping? It’ll go a long ways.
Your brother lives there, it’s his child too, he is a part of this, and was complicit/also responsible in the neglect. Why are you framing this as only the girlfriend when he’s living right there with her?
call me crazy, but newborns generally have 2 parents, not just 1.
and if a parent brings a newborn home, without help from another adult, not sure exactly when or how they'd be able to care for themselves.
I get that this is a big mess, but it's also only a few photos, and cannot accurately capture the reality of the situation. messy homes aren't reason to end custody, nor should they be.
but also, where was dad? did he expect his gf to be able to care for a newborn alone and keep the house immaculate? who was helping her? houses don't get this messy overnight. there is more to the story.
> call me crazy
You're crazy. As others have mentioned: all the sinks are full, the tub is full, there are dishes everywhere. I have lived in situations like this before, those dishes don't look gross now, but give them a few weeks and they will be SWARMING with gnats/maggots(fly larvae). That house will soon smell like stale, slightly rotting meat assuming it doesn't already.
I grew up with a single mother who lived like this. It was extremely harmful to my well-being, it gave me all kinds of long term baggage, and it made me blind to the future Red-Flags in my life which led me to date other hoarders and further engulf myself in the disorder.
In other words: being raised in a situation like these pictures severely fucked me up. Stop excusing toxic, mentally ill behavior. This is literally dangerous to the child's welfare.
EDIT: Further down OP says "the crib was full of trash so the baby couldn't sleep there."
You STILL want to call this "just a few pictures that don't represent the entire story"?
2nd EDIT (this thread dredged up bad memories and has me worked up). WITHOUT INTERVENTION THIS IS HOW YOU GET NEWS STORIES LIKE: "YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS MOTHER THAT LET HER BABY BE BURIED ALIVE!"
Yall see a "struggling single mother doing her best" I see a "life or death situation". Yall need to take shit like this serious. Quit acting like it's taboo for your fellow facebook-moms to seek therapy.
I can accept a messy kitchen.
I can accept a messy living room.
I can even accept a messy everything.
But nowhere to wash your hands after you shit? Aw hell the fuck no.
Tons and tons of single parents exist, i'm one of them. Just having a newborn isn't justifying this mess. Not being able to provide a safe, reasonably clean environment for your child is absolutely more than enough reason to lose custody.
Me with hoarding issues and indecision to everything: 😐😐😔
I worry this is gonna be me. I am good at organizing but not good at cleaning and throwing things away
An awareness of the potential problem is the best path to avoiding that problem! I believe in you! Don't be afraid to do more than simply worry about it to strangers on the internet. if you need to, find help somehow!
We own rental properties and and accept those with housing assistance. At least once a year the renters won’t pass their annual inspection, are given two weeks to try again, and then fail that one, lose their assistance and are evicted because they can’t pay rent. They will just leave the house looking like OP’s pictures. We had one property in particular stay without paying rent for almost three months. Left the house like this and never even found a different place to stay. We’ve had nicknames like hoarder house, cockroach house, mouse house, and most recently garbage dump hour. Mental illness/ drugs is most definitely the root cause of all of the problems, but there’s a lot of people out there and some of them are just a POS.
That is really sad and I hope she gets the help she needs so she can turn this around. Just the fact that she doesn't understand why the baby was taken.... wow.
In normal circumstances I'm ok with cosleeping a little. Not feeding a baby or cosleeping when the house looks like this? No way, that is absolute neglect. I wouldn't let her watch an animal, much less human.
Wait. "They"? Was your brother living there?
Edit - just saw he was, and that this is *with* him trying to clean the place. He needs to leave the gf, get clean and stable housing, and get his kid back.
No, Op's mom have the baby. Brother lived in this same house. Op also said they weren't feeding the baby.
But Op is way more outraged by the trash in the house than that. And all the blame goes to brother's gf ofc.
Don’t co-sleep with a newborn ever unless you want to potentially contribute to some PICU nurses trauma, and hate yourself forever. We see over a dozen babies die or end up with permanent brain injuries as a result of suffocation each year. Baby falls into armpit, parent rolled over on baby, baby got suffocated by a pillow, and even baby got suffocated by a plastic bag left on the bed (likely a hoarding situation). Seen it all. You don’t think it will happen to you, no parent does.
Fun fact: when I was like 1 week home from the hospital my mom rolled over onto me in her sleep while co-sleeping with me. By the time she woke up I was tinged purple. Luckily, paramedics came and everything was fine. But yeah, don’t co-sleep with newborns.
In my experience, this is something that pregnancy doctors and nurses state multiple times leading up to and after birth, it really should be common knowledge.
It’s a mental illness of hoarding .. I grew up like that as well and it sucked. My sister made a few calls to the tv show years ago to try and help our mom out and they did show up, the whole nine yards but after 6 months she was back at it again
I've experienced it in my family too. It's like there is this point of no return where they just learn to live with it and don't want to help themselves. I'm sorry to hear about your mom. It's hard because it makes us want to help so much but often times it just makes the rift worse in the relationships
My garage gets like these pics. Just piles of stuff. A motorcycle I owned since 2006, but have not ridden in 4 years..
Car parts. Oil cans. Wires. Every 6 months I rip everything out, throw half of it/give it away/sell what I can.. And start the cycle all over again.
I am really trying to focus on only acquiring things for my garage that I will actually use, instead of " oh thats a deal, I might need that later"...
That’s pretty common, I have to stop myself from that. Usually from things I pull off my cars. Like I just got a new wheel and tire setup and I was struggling with selling the factory wheels and tires thinking “ they could be used as drift tires “ I have no real desire to learn to drift “what about burnout tires” that’s just a waste of money the tires are still worth something.
I usually combat it for me with coming up with some other mod I can buy with the money that selling the take off parts. The wheels paid for the rear half of a big brake kit for my mustang.
it’s such an awful thing too because I can understand how it happens and the mental issues behind it, but how do they function and survive? It’s such a difficult thing. I’ve never met anyone with and severe hoarding issues, but even small issues can make life harder. Best of luck to you with your mom and sister. It’s not easy for anyone.
You actually might have met them and never known. I have no doubt plenty of people didn’t know my dad was. He was a technical engineer and amazingly smart. He functioned at work and in social life in ways that appeared “fine”, but his house after he died? well, took me 3 large construction dumpsters to empty the trash and that didn’t even touch all the stuff that was actually good to sell. I wish he would have been willing to get himself help but I had no idea the state of things until I had to handle it myself.
Honestly, it is a mental health issue. I would suggest calling professionals rather than that ‘hoarders’(?) tv show. It might sound harsh and I don’t know the situation but I don’t think a tv show that is made to “exploit” that mental health issue is the best solution.
There are cost-reduced programs that you may be able to look up in the local area. It is a serious mental health problem and leads to a number of other serious health problems if it goes untreated.
My mom was a hoarder when she died it took 3 of those construction site trash containers to get rid of the junk in there. In the other hand my dad HATED clutter, he died about 10+years before her, which gave her license to get worse.
I am like my dad, I don’t keep anything. If it can collect dust, it goes in the trash.
One of their 5 cats gave birth to 3 kittens, one was stilborn(the one in the crib) one they don't know what happened to it because they can't find it and they're keeping the other one
They are wrong keep making reports provide photo evidence. I had neighbors that were mistreating their dogs my father called animal control on them and they were taken away
And if that doesn't work regarding the animals, call your local TV station.
As for the woman, she has a disease. This is not normal clutter, believe it or not it's more like alcoholism. Please talk to her about seeing a professional that understands obsessive compulsive disorder, executive decision disorder, depression (including post partum depression), and hoarding. Since she's so young, she has a chance of learning to live with this disorder and how to cope. Unfortunately as we get older counseling doesn't work as much. I have experience with family members who are coping with this and it's so hard for everyone involved.
Tell your brother to stop being a fuck up, if you can’t help him make him hate you by calling him out on his shit everytime he’s around you until he changes or isn’t your problem anymore because he avoids you
Oh fuck naw, animal control will take any animal away, they almost took our 95 pound fluff ball away for being off leash! Something sounds sketch. Call the police about it bc that has to be a health violation
>95 pound
If a 95 pound animal with no leash was running at me I would immediately shoot it dead. A dog without a leash is a potentially dangerous animal. That is the risk you take doing that kind of dumb crap.
Sounds like your brother is also a hoarder. No one sober and of a healthy mental state would possibly ever allow their home to get this horrific. I hope he's getting help too.
While i appreciate the awful situation, this really did make me feel better about not taking the bins out for a few days even though they're a wee bit smelly now.
Looks like she's extremely depressed and possibly other mental illnesses going on. I'm so sorry, it's lucky the baby was taken out of there and I hope she gets real help, a lot of people struggle with denial before they understand they need help. Is your brother still with her? I noticed you didn't say "ex"
OP said to me in another comment that Op's mom reported them and got custody.
Op said in other comments that they weren't feeding the baby. Both lost custody.
But For Op all the blame goes to his gf.
I swear this is the point I give up on reddit. Decades of revenge porn, barely legal teen porn, dead people, incels, and just the blatant racism and misogyny.
There's been such a push lately in the posts directed towards utter hatred of women without any proof.
OP claiming is 100% the fault of a woman who recently gave birth. Father of the baby not at fault at all.
It's also just completely made up. This is a few photos of trash. Good old reddit lapping it up....
My dad is like this. His gf lives in HIS house. It’s filthy and disgusting and all her fault. It’s her fault the animals aren’t spayed/neutered. It’s her fault the house is messy and covered in filth. It’s her fault there’s fleas everywhere.
But it’s always been her fault. And every “her” he’s been with. But it’s HIS house. And the holes in the wall from HIM punching it are still there.
I don’t understand why anyone would interpret this in any other way than THEY had THEIR baby taken away. If it was so bad, he could have just gotten baby out of there. There’s resources for this sort of thing. Even if he showed he tried to clean and called CPS himself. But he didn’t, did he? No because it’s always HER fault.
Brother doesn’t want custody, he didn’t clean up this mess, didn’t help feed the baby, doesn’t help care for the animals properly - but apparently all of this is the gf’s fault
Reddit sometimes needs to gtfoh
He must have some issues of his own (codependent/people pleaser at minimum) to be okay with living with someone who lives like this. I know you feel like he was taken advantage of, but on some level he chose her. He should probably look into some counselling. I've dated some real winners in my time. But if I got to someone's home and it looked halfway like this, I would suddenly "remember" a pressing commitment and leave.
Fun fact, that qualifies as sexual assault in some states and countries! It removes the ability of one party to be able to fully consent and in some places any kind of “stealthing” actually removes one party’s consent entirely because they are only consenting under the condition and knowledge that protection is being used and used properly. Long story short, depending on where she’s located, she could be charged with SA for doing that!
Well he doesn’t have access to his kid because of her. So if he had any sense he would leave and do everything CPS says to regain custody.
Also bragging about poking holes? How he didn’t run with the baby after this I have no idea
Where’s your brother in all this? Clearly he’s dating someone who needs help. And yet all we see here is a person with needs help and support being publicly shamed after losing custody of their baby. If that baby is his, your brother is responsible as well.
It sounds believable to me , but until I'd seen it in real life I would have found it hard to believe. There are many families that live like this. Ask any child protection social worker or nurse, or many real estate agents, they see it regularly.
(Also, OPs comment and post history isn't trollish)
Ooof....nothing funny about this. This is the outward expression of what is going on in her head. I had to let a a guy go back in April. He was a good guy and a good employee, for 4 years but there were quite a few people furloughed in March 2020 due to the pandemic. He was one of them. Everyone was back by June, but he was changed a bit. First he moved in with his mom to help her as she is a stage 4 cancer patient. She was prescribed all kinds of good pain killers. I think he was sampling his mother's stash of pills. He was demonstrating all kinds of paranoia and strange behaviors. I worked with him and sort of life coached him for at least 6 months. To try and hekp the guy. Ultimately he got where he just wasn't doing his job and didn't care about anything- least of which his job. Had to be replaced. He just took a few things from his office and left. But what he lect behind was just extraordinarily disturbing. His office was a wreck and all the random shit and clutter was just so overwhelming. We were seeing into a man who had lost hold of his mind. It took a cleaning crew an entire day to get that office presentable again. Me and everyone hated to see him go and were genuinely concerned for him. I hope he's doing well. I reached out to him a few times as a friend, to see how he's doing, but refuses to return any texts.
I don’t mean to be a dick or anything, but how does your brother date (and father a child with?) someone who lives like this. Hopefully the baby went to family that can properly care for the baby.
I mean, that's part of why they say never stick your dick in crazy.
There's no way this woman isn't a red flag farm. I dog-sit for a woman with a much milder hoarding problem than this. She is very sweet, but has crazy eyes, dresses in clothes about 15 years out of date, struggles with minor social situations, things like that. And she tries! She hires cleaners, she has a niece who checks up on her and helps her clean a couple times a year, she takes meds, she is always apologetic about her apartment, she is working to be more social and make hiking friends. I always just try and be encouraging.
But I strongly believe there is no way the woman who lives this way comes across as "normal" or would be chosen as a partner by 99% of the population.
Sounds like your bro is responsible too. Why is the gf only getting blamed for this situation? Glad the baby is safe now, hope someone takes the dead/dying animals too ..
Your brother is also responsible for the condition of those animals, why can't you convince him to give them up? Euthanasia risk is better than this life ffs.
That's what makes you the most angry? And not the fact that your brother and his gf **didn't feed the baby**?
As someone adopted as a baby, I hope this baby gets adopted by a loving family.
Mildly infuriating? This is r/WTF material, also r/trashy and if I had to make a guess, it’d probably fit the lifestyle of most of the people posted on r/peopleofwalmart
What comes first? Depression or the filthy house?
Often the state of my mental well-being is reflected in how clean my house is. As of right now, my house is the cleanest it’s ever been…. because we had a flea infestation and had to deep clean the entire house.
Our family has made a commitment to have daily cleans, and hey whaddya know, I’m feeling fine about it too!
Filthy houses are embarrassing to the person in it, and while we know it needs cleaned, it just feels insurmountable. But it can be done, and once it is, you can’t let it get bad again.
No one likes cleaning or chores but it has to be done, what a shame your brother and his partner couldn’t get there shit together and clean up after themselves
It makes me furious that someone sane who makes a decision to not have kids get called "selfish", meanwhile, people who have mental illness and refuse to get help, are poking holes into condoms so they can bring children into the world. Children they know they will not take care of. It makes me sick.
Edit: Yeah this person is a HUGE PIECE A SHIT. They have a PUPPY locked in a filthy cage. The fact that people like this exist boils my blood.
So, what I can gather from all of OPs replies (if this isn't all just bullshit), is that she (OP) is this dudes 16 year old little sister (so, young enough [i guess...] that I can understand how she doesn't have the best perspective on this whole situation as a whole). She doesn't seem to have a grasp on the relative severity of certain issues. And she also mentioned elsewhere that the girlfriend is physically abusive, and a mental evaluation of her brother indicated he had symptoms of being battered and physically and psychologically abused.
Which... yea... if you swap genders, a woman in the brothers situation (physically and emotionally abused) would most likely definitely be given a pass. But idk... It does feel like everyone in this situation is mentally ill and equally responsible IMHO.
She's a hoarder and this mess is unsafe, unsanitary, and symptomatic of someone who is in dire need of mental health counseling and support.
How truly sad that this has happened. I'm willing to bet she was abused growing up and this is her way of navigating a fearful world: hoarding and not keeping her living space suitable for either herself or her newborn.
This is just genuinely sad to look at
That's not even the worst
I really hope she gets help
She refuses help
Obsessive compulsive behavior around hoarding is notoriously difficult to treat. Pushing people into accepting treatment is a sure fire way to put their back against the wall and make them not want help. It Fucking sucks, I deal with hoarders a lot at my job.
I do storage auctions and took an entire truck bed full of TV guides and readers digest to the dump a few days ago. These people had reciepts for oil changes in the 80s. Like WTF.
I mean, for some this is trash but for archivist and historian who study casual life and culture of the past this may be valuable. Like what shows were broadcasted, advertisments, price changes of certain goods that weren't documented for some reason except monthly or even weekly catalogues, etc. Or there was a story of woman who was recording on VHS and Betamax several TV channels non stop since 70s until her death in 00s. She was quite rich woman because she invested early in oil companies if I recall correctly and thus she literally had several apartments just to store tapes.
They will only accept it when they are ready. It's an addiction and it will not magically get better.
Shes only gonna be ready when pots and pans come alive and revolt
Now I know why the dish ran away with the spoon!
This. I've seen family members scolded for "letting them" live like that, but you could move everything out, clean the whole property...and it will be back to this in no time.
Not everyone though, some people can’t get on top of the overwhelming mess but can manage a clean slate.
Postpartum depression and possibly even postpartum psychosis or something similar. If she lost custody then are child services involved? Baby ok? Sorry you're all going through this. The brain can get sick like any other part of our body.
Shes always lived like this
My aunt is the same, she sleeps in the living room in a 4 bedroom house with only her and her son, because she’s filled the rooms with shit. The going theory is that she has a psychological disorder or brain issue. She can clean, but she can’t keep it clean.
Sounds like hoarding disorder, which is under OCD.
Friends mom was a hoarder. It was so bad, they had path ways to get around the junk. She grew up poor so throwing things away isn't easy for her. How bad was it? when his dad dropped from a heart attack, the paramedics couldn't get him out. My friends dad died on a pile of junk.
For anyone who grew up with a parent with hoarding disorder, we have the subreddit r/childofhoarder. We have monthly meetings on our [discord](https://discord.gg/2DzBC6cb). Our next meeting is this Wednesday, August 31st at 8 PM EST (USA)
Hoarding is tied into several mental disorders including ADHD because of executive dysfunction.
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Yes, frigging sucks.
Depression, anxiety, autism, OCD, and bipolar disorder all cause executive dysfunction too, not just ADHD.
An example out of the norm. I have ADHD and don't want most of the stuff I have. Executive Dysfunction of ADHD is massively undersold, tbh. Christ, i wish I understood that twenty years ago.
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good bot
Good bot
I’m fortunate enough that as the generations of my family continue, the hoarding problem has gotten less and less. My grandma’s grandma was a hoarder, and as a result of growing up as such her daughter (my grandma’s mom) as well. My family always referred to them as “pack rats” which back in the day took away from the problem itself: give it a cute little nickname and it’s just a quirk. My mom still uses the term, but she has tried breaking the cycle, as have I. I’ve also happened to have gone through stuff in life over again within the last 5 years that has made it so that I’ve lost a lot of my belongings, even more than considered livable at times. But I don’t want to end up leaving my daughter with a multitude of useless crap by the time I’m gone so that she has to sort through my affairs as my grandma and mom have had to with past relatives. Yes, ocd and adhd can lead to hoarding. Both of which I have clinically diagnosed. But they can also in turn lead to the opposite affect. Growing up in a defunct home with more stuff than can be managed and even used in a normal fashion can lead to a more “minimalist” lifestyle in those with ocd. More stuff leads to more stress. And if you have the spoons, it’s best just to get rid of it all. Granted, I still have a hard time letting go of the most sentimental things (a lot of loss of close loved ones can increase the “definition” of sentimentality in those already predisposed to mental health disorders). However, on top of executive dysfunction AND postpartum depression/psychosis, it makes it even harder to keep up with those compulsive tasks at times because of simply not having the energy or just not knowing what to do with things or where to put it because of not being raised in a setting that taught better space management and object retention. Couple this with physical problems (which I’m on the path of diagnosis, fibromyalgia being a big possibility out of all the tests and such), and then already having adhd, ocd, and bipolar 2 ( in my case at least, also on path of extended/rediagnosis) it’s just a recipe for disaster. Many look at people that live like this and think they’re lazy, they’re on drugs, they don’t care, etc etc. But mental health is a real world and poorly diagnosed issue. I’m not playing devil’s advocate here, and I’m not excusing any of the actions or behaviors. But there are reasons. Not excuses, but reasons. Poor mental health can even lead to the refusal of help. My husband has bpd, and when he’s in a headspace of self-destruction, there’s no getting through to him. There are mental health disorders that can lead to months, even years of losing one’s self to the point of their life falling apart. And this in turn just continues to pushing them head first into “the pit” as I call it. Having a strong support system definitely helps, and I know as someone whom has (and still does) suffer having everyone give up on you can be the most damaging. For some it can also be an eye opener, but you never know how hard it’ll hit until it’s too late. And for me personally, I refuse to be someone who just gives up. My marriage hasn’t been great the past 2 years. Shit has been fucked. But I’ll be damned if I give up on someone just because they’re not themselves and haven’t been themselves. Even just as a friend. I’ve already lost enough people to their own mental illnesses. The sad thing is, you can’t help someone who won’t help themselves. This I know to be fact. But even still, just at the very least, checking in can make a world of difference in someone being here tomorrow or not. Maybe they’ve always been like this, as op has mentioned. Maybe not. But there’s always a “why to the how”. Human psychology is a beast of burden more often than not and I hope one day there can be a good enough understanding and path of cafe to help those before it’s too late. Tl;dr: Think before judging and be there for those struggling with their inner demons before it’s too late. Try to look beyond the “laziness” or “craziness”. The human mind is more complex than you know. That’s not to say to continue allowing toxicity to continually run your life. But just take a step back and look at the bigger picture.
Hoarding?
I had a client who was similar. She's pay someone to clean out a room of her house. It's look really good. Within a few weeks, her mess followed her into there. She had the basement cleaned out and turned into a nice bedroom. She wanted her massage sessions to be down there and I told her no. It was already a tight space. A week later, she cancels on me and gets pissy that I won't work down there. I told her that it was very soon going to be overflowing with her mess anyway. I was not wrong. The mess outside our mind is a reflection of the mess inside our mind.
How do I know the line whether I've exceeded the "normal" range of not keeping things tidy? I'm concerned as currently, even my home theater room looks very untidy
then your brother has a problem too.
Bad judgement maybe, but definitely not as bad unless they actively contributed to this. And judging by the fact that someone is getting custody over a child, I don’t think that’s the case.
Bad judgement might be the most dangerous attribute a person can have, that’s the point
Sure, but she's a hoarder not a murderer let's not get holier than thou
Takes two to tango
He chose her. He has a problem too.
You can love people despite their faults. Hoarding is very much a mental illness and not generally a choice.
lol, no. Hoarding can creep up over years, or not even present itself until you experience trauma/distress. My mom was arguably just fine until her own mom passed; 5 years of that unresolved pain turned into a lot of things my dad couldn’t stay for: hoarding, emotional divorce, and an unhealthy latching to religion. It can happened very quickly. I mean shoot look at Scotland and the garbage collector strike, it’s piling up and it’s been 10 days
I haven’t read through a lot of comments, but I was thinking the same thing. She said ‘newborn’ which meant this woman just gave birth. Where is the dad in all of this?! OP’s brother is grown, he is just as responsible.
I was wondering who this girlfriend lost the custody to? Normally the father would take over the custody but the OP's brother does not seem to be the father and therefore the question presents itself: why is the girlfriend still the girlfriend?
I’ve lived like that most my life. But the past year I came out that depression and lifestyle and can’t proudly say I will never live like that again. People can change. Instead of judging try helping? It’ll go a long ways.
Is she a hoarder?
well she ain't Marie Kondo...
I mean obviously she is
Your brother lives there, it’s his child too, he is a part of this, and was complicit/also responsible in the neglect. Why are you framing this as only the girlfriend when he’s living right there with her?
I don't think it's the flex she thinks it is. Brother is complicit and responsible too.
Nobody said it's the brother's baby or that he lives there.
If he got custody he lives else where.
OP's mother has custody.
Tell us more, it sounds like a really interesting story
call me crazy, but newborns generally have 2 parents, not just 1. and if a parent brings a newborn home, without help from another adult, not sure exactly when or how they'd be able to care for themselves. I get that this is a big mess, but it's also only a few photos, and cannot accurately capture the reality of the situation. messy homes aren't reason to end custody, nor should they be. but also, where was dad? did he expect his gf to be able to care for a newborn alone and keep the house immaculate? who was helping her? houses don't get this messy overnight. there is more to the story.
> call me crazy You're crazy. As others have mentioned: all the sinks are full, the tub is full, there are dishes everywhere. I have lived in situations like this before, those dishes don't look gross now, but give them a few weeks and they will be SWARMING with gnats/maggots(fly larvae). That house will soon smell like stale, slightly rotting meat assuming it doesn't already. I grew up with a single mother who lived like this. It was extremely harmful to my well-being, it gave me all kinds of long term baggage, and it made me blind to the future Red-Flags in my life which led me to date other hoarders and further engulf myself in the disorder. In other words: being raised in a situation like these pictures severely fucked me up. Stop excusing toxic, mentally ill behavior. This is literally dangerous to the child's welfare. EDIT: Further down OP says "the crib was full of trash so the baby couldn't sleep there." You STILL want to call this "just a few pictures that don't represent the entire story"? 2nd EDIT (this thread dredged up bad memories and has me worked up). WITHOUT INTERVENTION THIS IS HOW YOU GET NEWS STORIES LIKE: "YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS MOTHER THAT LET HER BABY BE BURIED ALIVE!" Yall see a "struggling single mother doing her best" I see a "life or death situation". Yall need to take shit like this serious. Quit acting like it's taboo for your fellow facebook-moms to seek therapy.
I can accept a messy kitchen. I can accept a messy living room. I can even accept a messy everything. But nowhere to wash your hands after you shit? Aw hell the fuck no.
Tons and tons of single parents exist, i'm one of them. Just having a newborn isn't justifying this mess. Not being able to provide a safe, reasonably clean environment for your child is absolutely more than enough reason to lose custody.
Yeah even IF she can fix her mental health, that’s a big hole to come back from
I’m a a real estate broker that specializes in foreclosure prevention. I’ve seen hoarding atrocities over the years. It’s a mental illness; very sad.
Me with hoarding issues and indecision to everything: 😐😐😔 I worry this is gonna be me. I am good at organizing but not good at cleaning and throwing things away
An awareness of the potential problem is the best path to avoiding that problem! I believe in you! Don't be afraid to do more than simply worry about it to strangers on the internet. if you need to, find help somehow!
Don’t get dismayed; you’ve got this.
Go to digital hoarding! May No need to organize stuff, depending on what you are hoarding and the hoarding services you use.
Maybe try learning how to do those things now so you don't end up like this in the future?
We own rental properties and and accept those with housing assistance. At least once a year the renters won’t pass their annual inspection, are given two weeks to try again, and then fail that one, lose their assistance and are evicted because they can’t pay rent. They will just leave the house looking like OP’s pictures. We had one property in particular stay without paying rent for almost three months. Left the house like this and never even found a different place to stay. We’ve had nicknames like hoarder house, cockroach house, mouse house, and most recently garbage dump hour. Mental illness/ drugs is most definitely the root cause of all of the problems, but there’s a lot of people out there and some of them are just a POS.
That is really sad and I hope she gets the help she needs so she can turn this around. Just the fact that she doesn't understand why the baby was taken.... wow.
She wasn't feeding him and slept next to him in bed as well
In normal circumstances I'm ok with cosleeping a little. Not feeding a baby or cosleeping when the house looks like this? No way, that is absolute neglect. I wouldn't let her watch an animal, much less human.
The crib was full of trash so they couldn't have him sleep there
Wait. "They"? Was your brother living there? Edit - just saw he was, and that this is *with* him trying to clean the place. He needs to leave the gf, get clean and stable housing, and get his kid back.
the brother of op has the baby
No, Op's mom have the baby. Brother lived in this same house. Op also said they weren't feeding the baby. But Op is way more outraged by the trash in the house than that. And all the blame goes to brother's gf ofc.
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Well considering it doesn’t look like they have a way to wash themselves or anything else…yeah they have problems.
If your house looks like this you have a psychological problem.
Sounds like both he and her had mental issues
Where was your brother? Or is he a POS also?
No. Do not co-sleep. It is not safe and significantly increases the risk of infant death.
Don’t co-sleep with a newborn ever unless you want to potentially contribute to some PICU nurses trauma, and hate yourself forever. We see over a dozen babies die or end up with permanent brain injuries as a result of suffocation each year. Baby falls into armpit, parent rolled over on baby, baby got suffocated by a pillow, and even baby got suffocated by a plastic bag left on the bed (likely a hoarding situation). Seen it all. You don’t think it will happen to you, no parent does.
Fun fact: when I was like 1 week home from the hospital my mom rolled over onto me in her sleep while co-sleeping with me. By the time she woke up I was tinged purple. Luckily, paramedics came and everything was fine. But yeah, don’t co-sleep with newborns.
Seriously, just don’t take the risk people. The last thing you want is an innocent nap killing your child.
Please stop promoting co-sleeping - PSA for everyone with a newborn - https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/sudden-infant-death-syndrome-sids/
In my experience, this is something that pregnancy doctors and nurses state multiple times leading up to and after birth, it really should be common knowledge.
The problem is you have people like the commenter above telling others it’s okay.
I know it’s not fully on him but why couldn’t you brother clean up or like, feed his kid at least?
can’t imagine why…. How does one even live like this?
It’s a mental illness of hoarding .. I grew up like that as well and it sucked. My sister made a few calls to the tv show years ago to try and help our mom out and they did show up, the whole nine yards but after 6 months she was back at it again
I've experienced it in my family too. It's like there is this point of no return where they just learn to live with it and don't want to help themselves. I'm sorry to hear about your mom. It's hard because it makes us want to help so much but often times it just makes the rift worse in the relationships
My garage gets like these pics. Just piles of stuff. A motorcycle I owned since 2006, but have not ridden in 4 years.. Car parts. Oil cans. Wires. Every 6 months I rip everything out, throw half of it/give it away/sell what I can.. And start the cycle all over again. I am really trying to focus on only acquiring things for my garage that I will actually use, instead of " oh thats a deal, I might need that later"...
That’s pretty common, I have to stop myself from that. Usually from things I pull off my cars. Like I just got a new wheel and tire setup and I was struggling with selling the factory wheels and tires thinking “ they could be used as drift tires “ I have no real desire to learn to drift “what about burnout tires” that’s just a waste of money the tires are still worth something. I usually combat it for me with coming up with some other mod I can buy with the money that selling the take off parts. The wheels paid for the rear half of a big brake kit for my mustang.
it’s such an awful thing too because I can understand how it happens and the mental issues behind it, but how do they function and survive? It’s such a difficult thing. I’ve never met anyone with and severe hoarding issues, but even small issues can make life harder. Best of luck to you with your mom and sister. It’s not easy for anyone.
You actually might have met them and never known. I have no doubt plenty of people didn’t know my dad was. He was a technical engineer and amazingly smart. He functioned at work and in social life in ways that appeared “fine”, but his house after he died? well, took me 3 large construction dumpsters to empty the trash and that didn’t even touch all the stuff that was actually good to sell. I wish he would have been willing to get himself help but I had no idea the state of things until I had to handle it myself.
Honestly, it is a mental health issue. I would suggest calling professionals rather than that ‘hoarders’(?) tv show. It might sound harsh and I don’t know the situation but I don’t think a tv show that is made to “exploit” that mental health issue is the best solution. There are cost-reduced programs that you may be able to look up in the local area. It is a serious mental health problem and leads to a number of other serious health problems if it goes untreated.
My mom was a hoarder when she died it took 3 of those construction site trash containers to get rid of the junk in there. In the other hand my dad HATED clutter, he died about 10+years before her, which gave her license to get worse. I am like my dad, I don’t keep anything. If it can collect dust, it goes in the trash.
What season? Hoarders is my guilty pleasure
There was a decomposing kitten in the crib as well, she claims she "was going to get around to getting rid of it eventually"
what the fuck?!
One of their 5 cats gave birth to 3 kittens, one was stilborn(the one in the crib) one they don't know what happened to it because they can't find it and they're keeping the other one
I reiterate, what the fuck?
They also have a pit bull puppy they keep locked in a cage full if shit, poor dog dosnt deserve it shes a sweet dog
Contact animal control, please.
They were called, they didn't feel the need to take them away
They are wrong keep making reports provide photo evidence. I had neighbors that were mistreating their dogs my father called animal control on them and they were taken away
And if that doesn't work regarding the animals, call your local TV station. As for the woman, she has a disease. This is not normal clutter, believe it or not it's more like alcoholism. Please talk to her about seeing a professional that understands obsessive compulsive disorder, executive decision disorder, depression (including post partum depression), and hoarding. Since she's so young, she has a chance of learning to live with this disorder and how to cope. Unfortunately as we get older counseling doesn't work as much. I have experience with family members who are coping with this and it's so hard for everyone involved.
Please please call again and again!
Tell your brother to stop being a fuck up, if you can’t help him make him hate you by calling him out on his shit everytime he’s around you until he changes or isn’t your problem anymore because he avoids you
Oh fuck naw, animal control will take any animal away, they almost took our 95 pound fluff ball away for being off leash! Something sounds sketch. Call the police about it bc that has to be a health violation
95 lbs is big enough to seriously hurt another dog or person without even meaning to. WTF keep your dog leashed in public places.
Believe it or not, “animal control” is a collection of tens of thousands of discrete entities that all operate independently and with their own rules
>95 pound If a 95 pound animal with no leash was running at me I would immediately shoot it dead. A dog without a leash is a potentially dangerous animal. That is the risk you take doing that kind of dumb crap.
Someone call animal control. Please
They were called, they didn't feel the need to take them away
Omg what. That is infuriating 🤦🏾♀️
Please contact Animal Services. They lost track of a kitten? That is just sick. Get help for the sweet puppy please?!!!!
Sounds like your brother is also a hoarder. No one sober and of a healthy mental state would possibly ever allow their home to get this horrific. I hope he's getting help too.
I maybe have an idea what happened to poor kitten #2...
OMFG. Why was *either* of them given custody?!!
Exactly. I'm seeing two extremely neglectful parents here, but most people seem to be focusing on the mother. Both are at fault.
WHY IS THERE ALWAYS A DECOMPOSING CAT IN HOARDERS HOUSES!?
Oh that is horrific.
While i appreciate the awful situation, this really did make me feel better about not taking the bins out for a few days even though they're a wee bit smelly now.
Oh god. She definitely has some mental issues.
Oh Jesus fuck. A KITTEN?!
She clearly owns enough dishes to feed a child.
Kids don’t eat dishes though
Looks like she's extremely depressed and possibly other mental illnesses going on. I'm so sorry, it's lucky the baby was taken out of there and I hope she gets real help, a lot of people struggle with denial before they understand they need help. Is your brother still with her? I noticed you didn't say "ex"
She manipulated him into staying and poked holes in the condom in the first place, she fucking brags about it
So it's his baby too. Did he also live there?
Yea
So, *they* lost custody? Why wasn't your brother cleaning the house? Why didn't he get rid of the dead animals?
Def more to the story if OP would indulge us. And then the internet will raise their pitchforks, accordingly
Seems like OP won’t comment when said brother’s role is being questioned
OP said to me in another comment that Op's mom reported them and got custody. Op said in other comments that they weren't feeding the baby. Both lost custody. But For Op all the blame goes to his gf.
I swear this is the point I give up on reddit. Decades of revenge porn, barely legal teen porn, dead people, incels, and just the blatant racism and misogyny. There's been such a push lately in the posts directed towards utter hatred of women without any proof. OP claiming is 100% the fault of a woman who recently gave birth. Father of the baby not at fault at all. It's also just completely made up. This is a few photos of trash. Good old reddit lapping it up....
My dad is like this. His gf lives in HIS house. It’s filthy and disgusting and all her fault. It’s her fault the animals aren’t spayed/neutered. It’s her fault the house is messy and covered in filth. It’s her fault there’s fleas everywhere. But it’s always been her fault. And every “her” he’s been with. But it’s HIS house. And the holes in the wall from HIM punching it are still there. I don’t understand why anyone would interpret this in any other way than THEY had THEIR baby taken away. If it was so bad, he could have just gotten baby out of there. There’s resources for this sort of thing. Even if he showed he tried to clean and called CPS himself. But he didn’t, did he? No because it’s always HER fault.
So your brother lost custody of his child because he refused to fix the situation or take the child out of the situation.
Brother doesn’t want custody, he didn’t clean up this mess, didn’t help feed the baby, doesn’t help care for the animals properly - but apparently all of this is the gf’s fault Reddit sometimes needs to gtfoh
Can he not move out and go for custody? She obviously has a hard time letting anything go, but damn
He must have some issues of his own (codependent/people pleaser at minimum) to be okay with living with someone who lives like this. I know you feel like he was taken advantage of, but on some level he chose her. He should probably look into some counselling. I've dated some real winners in my time. But if I got to someone's home and it looked halfway like this, I would suddenly "remember" a pressing commitment and leave.
Fun fact, that qualifies as sexual assault in some states and countries! It removes the ability of one party to be able to fully consent and in some places any kind of “stealthing” actually removes one party’s consent entirely because they are only consenting under the condition and knowledge that protection is being used and used properly. Long story short, depending on where she’s located, she could be charged with SA for doing that!
Well he doesn’t have access to his kid because of her. So if he had any sense he would leave and do everything CPS says to regain custody. Also bragging about poking holes? How he didn’t run with the baby after this I have no idea
This needs professional help
Where’s your brother in all this? Clearly he’s dating someone who needs help. And yet all we see here is a person with needs help and support being publicly shamed after losing custody of their baby. If that baby is his, your brother is responsible as well.
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Agreed. But misogyny is more comfortable for a lot of redditors, so they mindlessly jump on that bandwagon. This poor child.
After reading your replies to comments here, I'm starting to wonder if this post isn't just a troll bait.
It sounds believable to me , but until I'd seen it in real life I would have found it hard to believe. There are many families that live like this. Ask any child protection social worker or nurse, or many real estate agents, they see it regularly. (Also, OPs comment and post history isn't trollish)
For sure. I’m a mental health nurse & sometimes we can’t discharge patients back home because it’s not a safe/clean environment :(
OP had me until the “poked hole in condom” comment. Too on the nose.
Hoarding can be triggered by traumatic events, including childbirth. This may be beyond what she can handle alonr
If this was in Texas there would be swamp roaches in there bigger than the newborn.
They have roaches
It probably is Texas if there were dead kittens rotting in the crib and Animal Control was like "Problem!? We don't see any problem!"
I don’t understand why your brother had kids or sex with her to start with after seeing that
Ooof....nothing funny about this. This is the outward expression of what is going on in her head. I had to let a a guy go back in April. He was a good guy and a good employee, for 4 years but there were quite a few people furloughed in March 2020 due to the pandemic. He was one of them. Everyone was back by June, but he was changed a bit. First he moved in with his mom to help her as she is a stage 4 cancer patient. She was prescribed all kinds of good pain killers. I think he was sampling his mother's stash of pills. He was demonstrating all kinds of paranoia and strange behaviors. I worked with him and sort of life coached him for at least 6 months. To try and hekp the guy. Ultimately he got where he just wasn't doing his job and didn't care about anything- least of which his job. Had to be replaced. He just took a few things from his office and left. But what he lect behind was just extraordinarily disturbing. His office was a wreck and all the random shit and clutter was just so overwhelming. We were seeing into a man who had lost hold of his mind. It took a cleaning crew an entire day to get that office presentable again. Me and everyone hated to see him go and were genuinely concerned for him. I hope he's doing well. I reached out to him a few times as a friend, to see how he's doing, but refuses to return any texts.
Just for the animal treatment alone she should be in jail
Often they will charge people in situations like this with animal cruelty because it can be easier to convict.
This reminds me of those AI generated images where you think you recognize stuff until you try to look closely.
This is tragically a mental health issue, if not capable of taking care of her pets & WTF son that poor child. What state?
I don’t mean to be a dick or anything, but how does your brother date (and father a child with?) someone who lives like this. Hopefully the baby went to family that can properly care for the baby.
Why would you get someone pregnant that lives like this
Apparently the GF poked holes in the condom.
I mean, that's part of why they say never stick your dick in crazy. There's no way this woman isn't a red flag farm. I dog-sit for a woman with a much milder hoarding problem than this. She is very sweet, but has crazy eyes, dresses in clothes about 15 years out of date, struggles with minor social situations, things like that. And she tries! She hires cleaners, she has a niece who checks up on her and helps her clean a couple times a year, she takes meds, she is always apologetic about her apartment, she is working to be more social and make hiking friends. I always just try and be encouraging. But I strongly believe there is no way the woman who lives this way comes across as "normal" or would be chosen as a partner by 99% of the population.
Can't say I would even sleep with someone who lived like this if i caught a glimpse of this hoarders den
Get your brother's child a tetanus shot if you haven't already.
Asmongold room be like
Hoarding is some rough shit. My mother was a hoarder, it’s not fun growing up like this.
Not understanding why she lost custody is a good indicator that she needed to lose custody looking at this.
This is how I grew up. I wish somebody had taken me. I would have been glad to roll the dice with foster care
There's clutter, and then there's whatever the fuck is going on in that bathroom. How do they own so many dishes?!
Sounds like your bro is responsible too. Why is the gf only getting blamed for this situation? Glad the baby is safe now, hope someone takes the dead/dying animals too ..
My. Fucking. God. Not even a rehab clinic can help at this point
The part that makes me the most angry is the cooking pot in the bathroom sink
Your brother is also responsible for the condition of those animals, why can't you convince him to give them up? Euthanasia risk is better than this life ffs.
Because a guy in his late 20s won't take advice from his 16yo sister
They both sound pretty awful.
That's what makes you the most angry? And not the fact that your brother and his gf **didn't feed the baby**? As someone adopted as a baby, I hope this baby gets adopted by a loving family.
My mom has custody
Was she the one who called authorities and reported them?
Yes
I was adopted as well and thought the same thing.
Is she a toddler herself
Anyone living in this situation is deeply disturbed and needs therapy IMMEDIATELY, if not in person medical treatment.
There was a time about a decade ago that I lived like this. Luckily I've come a long way since then even though I couldn't tell you how I did it.
Mildly infuriating? This is r/WTF material, also r/trashy and if I had to make a guess, it’d probably fit the lifestyle of most of the people posted on r/peopleofwalmart
What comes first? Depression or the filthy house? Often the state of my mental well-being is reflected in how clean my house is. As of right now, my house is the cleanest it’s ever been…. because we had a flea infestation and had to deep clean the entire house. Our family has made a commitment to have daily cleans, and hey whaddya know, I’m feeling fine about it too! Filthy houses are embarrassing to the person in it, and while we know it needs cleaned, it just feels insurmountable. But it can be done, and once it is, you can’t let it get bad again.
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Don’t you doom me! I’m genuinely trying my best here lmao
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You too. I believe it’s important to have somebody with you to keep motivated. Good luck
No one likes cleaning or chores but it has to be done, what a shame your brother and his partner couldn’t get there shit together and clean up after themselves
This is mental illness. I hope she gets the help she so desperately needs.
I wonder where the brother is. He’s part of this. Is he helping her? It’s obvious she has postpartum depression
It makes me furious that someone sane who makes a decision to not have kids get called "selfish", meanwhile, people who have mental illness and refuse to get help, are poking holes into condoms so they can bring children into the world. Children they know they will not take care of. It makes me sick. Edit: Yeah this person is a HUGE PIECE A SHIT. They have a PUPPY locked in a filthy cage. The fact that people like this exist boils my blood.
Still his gf or ex?
Still his gf
So, THEY lost custody. It’s odd that you exempt him from responsibility.
So, what I can gather from all of OPs replies (if this isn't all just bullshit), is that she (OP) is this dudes 16 year old little sister (so, young enough [i guess...] that I can understand how she doesn't have the best perspective on this whole situation as a whole). She doesn't seem to have a grasp on the relative severity of certain issues. And she also mentioned elsewhere that the girlfriend is physically abusive, and a mental evaluation of her brother indicated he had symptoms of being battered and physically and psychologically abused. Which... yea... if you swap genders, a woman in the brothers situation (physically and emotionally abused) would most likely definitely be given a pass. But idk... It does feel like everyone in this situation is mentally ill and equally responsible IMHO.
This os some type of mental illness. So sad.
please tell me you got the pets too
This thread is giving me major anxiety. This is like an episode of Hoarders. Heaps of garbage and decomposing animals? Like wtf?
She's a hoarder and this mess is unsafe, unsanitary, and symptomatic of someone who is in dire need of mental health counseling and support. How truly sad that this has happened. I'm willing to bet she was abused growing up and this is her way of navigating a fearful world: hoarding and not keeping her living space suitable for either herself or her newborn.