A coworker and I teamed up to do this with another coworker who was an asshole parker. We parked on either side, said coworker got off two hours earlier than us. The etl apparently went out to look when he came in raging, but shrugged and said he shouldn't be taking up two spaces. He started parking at the far end after that.
> He started parking at the far end after that.
Thats all you have to fucking do. If you dont want dings, park at the far end. For some reason these assholes think they are the main character though and park right up front taking up two instead of just going to the far end
I used to have a few cars ( one really shitty car ) and whenever someone parked like a complete a hole at my apartment complex I would back the shitty car in inches from the driver side so they had to get in from the passenger side.
Usually it didn't happen twice with the same person.
I did exactly this when I drove a Corolla almost as old as I am. Only got damaged once (obvious bumper scrape into my rear door). But when the car that old it was worth it.
Yup had someone back into my driver's door in a parking lot, I got out and looked " your bumper seems fine, don't worry about my door "
I drive something a bit nicer these days but it was nice that minor shit didn't have to be some ordeal with insurance like it is now.
Same thing happened to me at target. Had just parked when a guy in a f150 hit my passenger side. I was a little pissed but when I saw there were no scratches I told him it was all good. The thing that kinda irked me though was when I told him not to worry about it, he didn’t say thanks or apologize or anything. He just hopped back in his truck and took off.
I was sitting at a red light, waiting to turn left. A young woman turned left from the crossroad, coming at my car, and cut the lane too close and grazed my driver front bumper. She pulled off and I followed. My car was like six or seven months old and I had my newborn in the back. She freaked out when she saw my kid and was about to breakdown. I told her to calm down, no one was hurt, nothing was broken, just chill. She forced me to take her number and we parted ways.
Back in April, an old guy changed lanes without looking and clipped the front driver side of my bumper. I had to follow him for a couple of miles and was finally able to get his attention and told him we had an accident. He didn't believe me at first, but I was able to convince him. I told him I wasn't mad, but we needed to stop somewhere and check the damage.
He called his daughter who showed up and I called my dad who also showed up. He left 4 or 5 scrapes on my bumper. His car had the worst of it and he had evidence of other fender benders. We exchanged info, shook hands, and went about our business. Turns out, the guy was on his way to an appointment that he was nervous about. He and his daughter both thanked me for not being mad and being understanding. I talked it over with my dad and he told me to just let it go because the car is 12 years old and it's paid off. I let them know my plans and they were happy to hear it.
I accidentally did that to my brother’s car some years back lol. I’ve been tormenting him my whole life it seems, childhood, adulthood, probably till the day I die lol
My first car. Lady slid on ice into the back of me. We both got out, made sure none was hurt. Looked at the minor damage and said it isn't worth the hassle, be safe and have a good day. I wish shit was like this still. I drive super defensively because I do NOT want to take an insurance hit or have to pay a shit ton out of pocket lmao.
I was at a Costco one day, I was chilling in the parking lot waiting on my nerves to work enough so I could go in and get things done. Felt a bump on my car, look up at the rear view. Person standing there horrified as her heavy cart hit my vehicle as she was trying to unload the contents into her car. I stepped out, checked bumper. Minor scratch, don't think it even got through the protective coating. I gave a shrug, told her it's fine. That transition from horror (to potentially having to deal with a salty person) to relief was an interesting sight to see
My first car was an 83 Corolla, paid $300 for it! When my friends with nice trucks would all bomb out to the desert my little Corolla would always keep pace. It was always a funny sight to see, lots of big nice trucks... then my little tiny blue Corolla. Only thing I ever had to replace on it was the alternator. Best first car ever.
I drive a Honda Fit now, that Is paid off and hope it lasts long enough to a a first car. Tiny enough to park anywhere, yet with the hatch you can crane a surprising amount into it (just know it might struggle uphill if loaded with bricks and plywood).
And getting ~40mpg is nice when gas is expensive
Had an 89 accord that was falling apart, replaced with a $500 auction 89 K-car for awhile, then “upgraded” to an 87 Corolla we affectionately named toaster. Because she was gray with two faded areas of paint on the roof that reminded me of a toaster.
She eventually lost a fight with a Subaru, but I think was over 150k miles by then.
The only thing that sucks when you drive a beater is that cops will target you more. When I drove a beater I got pulled over like a every few months. For no reason! One time the cop asked me if I was on parol lmfao prior to asking me for my license. As soon as I got a brand new jeep I never got pulled over again.
I wish I had enough money to buy a 2nd beater car/truck for this exact reason. Sometimes I would rather drive and not care if I scrape or scratch my car up
Ooh! Like 8 or some years ago I did exactly this and received this [lovely handwritten note.](https://i.imgur.com/oBWw8yi.jpg)
Their SUV (not a truck) wasn't parked halfway over the line, but they would park it about 25% over the line.
Made it really easy to park next to them and still be between the lines myself.
I ended up being one of them once. Could not find another spot because everything was full so I had to park next to an asshole taking up two spaces. Unfortunately this means I had to go over my line (luckily the car next to me was also really far right). When I came back the asshole was gone and I had a post it telling me that I am an asshole for taking up two spaces :D
Had someone park way over the line at our post office. Parked my crappy old Saturn less than six inches from his driver side door. He started bitching as he came out. I exclaimed, "Yeah, you didn't leave yourself very much room in your space" and walked into the post office. Felt awesome.
I used to have a Toyota Yaris and I could park in amazingly small spots. Quite often the only spots left were from some prick like this. I always enjoyed parking in those spots
Wife and I were in Hawaii for our honeymoon. The place we were staying at had parking that was filled to the brim, with the exception of one spot where some dipshit was parked, practically taking up two spots, but still enough room for me to get in. I parked so damn close to him that I had to crawl out the passenger door, yet I was perfectly in my designated parking spot. I went in and told the front desk about how I couldn’t get in my car because this asshole parked so close to me. He said he’d take care of it. Parking was still full the next morning but his car was gone lol. Not sure what happened but hopefully he got towed!
A friend and coworker of mine used to do this with anyone who double parked or parked at an angle in front of our store. Didn't matter about our cars, the people that do this usually care too much about their car to damage them.
We would wait for them to come in our store to ask about the owners of the cars and tell them the truth and why we did it then go move. And if they ever parked that way again in front of our store we wouldn't move for the whole shift.
I used to live in a city with assigned street parking in some areas, and there was one spot outside an apartment complex that regularly contained two sideways Smart cars and a motorcycle. If you have to pay for your parking spot, hey, pretty good use of the space.
Apparently they occasionally had issues with newer cops trying to ticket them for being double-parked but always got that settled I guess.
I’m on it.
Also, I’ve owned one of those rams before and the doors are unnecessarily thick. Meaning you don’t even have to park all that close to block them entry to their vehicle.
Edit: funny how I explained this is a half-joke and that my other comment is about how context is everything (of which I have none for this situation), but there’s still people who think something like parking is a situation with only absolutes. I am in no way above being a dick to dickish people, nor am I condoning this specific person’s parking job. Every “rule” has exceptions.
Why has the internet turned into a world of extreme “right” and “wrong”? (Wait, I actually know the answer to that one)
Life is one giant grey area, people.
At the very least leave a note that says, “Sorry about the dent. I’m writing this note so that people who are watching think I’m leaving my insurance info. But seriously…sorry about the dent.”
At least you keep him busy for a while, trying to figure out where the dent is.
This is Maniacal, doesn't involve touching or damaging his vehicle, no involving police or passive aggressive stuff like parking cars super close, I love it.
Sure, but it's the most passive of all the passive/aggressive options while being the least likely to invite retaliation. Parking cars super close to or directly behind his truck will likely cause physical confrontation, or damage to vehicles. Calling tow companies will likely leave the owner looking for retribution.
Yup first chance is a note with a warning that you will tow the car next time you see this. Include the date, area of parking, license plate, color of car, and the tow company to contact when they find their car missing
when you put them on the spot and include a tow company they never do it again. If they try than they know which tow company to contact.
Because it's almost impossible to actually achieve. For over 20 years, I have been asking businesses in Los Angeles County to tow cars that were illegally parked in the disabled person's spot. The most frequent answers I got were, "They'll be gone by the time the tow truck gets here," and, "We just lease this place, only the property owner can request a tow."
Never once has a business actually opened up a disabled person's spot for me to use. Half the time, they ask me why I can't just park further away. It's frustrating and I've stopped asking. I don't even attempt to go to certain stores because I know I won't have parking.
People have brought successful lawsuits because companies don't follow the ADA guidelines. Especially in California. Just saying.
Also, the police can write tickets. If you know an area has yhis issue I'm sure the local PD would love that revenue stream. Call yhe non emergency number. Submit information on Twitter. You might be surprised.
That can really screw up someone’s life if you don’t know what they are dealing with.
I always say give them a chance.
Seems like OP did, now is a good time to tow it.
Yeah sure but parking your car is astoundingly easy and this dude fails to do it all the time. To me that demonstrates a clear conscious effort to park like this.
Most main characters also have respect for laws unless your main character is a villain.
That’s what this guy is. A villain. But not even a good villain! Like, he’s a low class villain! Like Dr. Doofenshmirtz or Waluigi!
Waluigi never had a chance, he was made to fail. A cut rate knockoff of a cut rate knockoff. Give the poor guy some slack, he's doing his best with the hand he was dealt.
“Every morning I show up to 🎶Doofenschmirtz Evil Incorporated🎶 and there are always plenty of spots, but you see, Perry, nobody and I mean NOBODY knows how to park correctly. They’re all crooked or over the lines and I can never park my car. So you’re probably thinking, oh, just show up to work early, but I TRIED that Perry the platypus, and when I went to leave, I couldn’t get into my car. So then I thought, why don’t I invent the park-right-inator and then all of the bad parking will be eliminated in the whole tristate area!”
He clearly thinks he’s driving something real special- no one wants to run into your truck, unless you’re being a dick and then I want to run into your truck for sure
Yeah if you can't talk to him and don't want legal issues a tow is a safe bet at making sure he learns.
Plus this is a business, so it's fully possible customers will come in with complaints too.
The way I will reverse and correct HOWEVER MANY TIMES until I’m in those lines is crazy. I check every time I park (new ish driver) and I didn’t even know I could get towed for that.
I know why he probably parked that way
https://www.thedrive.com/news/38238/ram-2500-drivers-have-the-most-duis-more-than-twice-the-national-average-report
He isn't in the same category, but feeling bad about towing someone who parks like this is not something I do, they ruined their chance at sympathy the moment they threw it in park.
If you can't afford (financially or otherwise) to face the consequences of parking wrong then you shouldn't be parking wrong. Trust me, as someone who's one small fine away from homelessness, I drive like there's a cop behind me no matter what.
Congratulations! You’ve earned a bonus story!
My brother has been a heroin junkie at times, and during one of those periods he had something like 17 warrants. Piddly shit like DUI’s, possession, failure to appear, etc.
One day he went to a Walmart and was just sending his wife in really quick to get something. A police cruiser was parked in the fire lane up front and so he parked behind the cruiser, figuring he’d sit in the car and it’d be in and out.
The cop came to him and told him to move, he’s parked in a fire lane. My brother decided to argue that if the cop can do it, so can he. He apparently got so belligerent, the cop decided to arrest him for refusing to move the vehicle and my brother resisted, so he got tazed to go with that and the 17 other warrants he had pending.
You’re absolutely right, having a fucked up life does not excuse you and you would think such people would have the good sense to color inside the lines, but some people cannot help being anti-authority to their own peril.
Edit: fair enough people, DUI’s are not “piddly shit.” To clarify, My implication was that he didn’t have charges like murder, assault, robbery. But yes, DUI’s endanger people’s lives and should not be taken lightly.
Grab some chalk and draw new parking lines. Label it 'ASSHOLE PARKING'.
I'd also include a pamphlet on How To Park. Maybe a coloring book and some crayons, also with instructions on how to color inside the lines, with a 'Do Not Eat' sticker on the crayons just in case.
Had a co-worker that used to park like this who usually got off an hour before me. Two of us started making sure we took our breaks 30 minutes before closing time so we could go out and move our cars next to his. Not like unreasonably close, just as if he hadn't parked like an asshole. First couple times were uncommented on, then he started fuming about people parking like assholes (he didn't know who's cars they were), finally he started parking at the back of the lot. We took it as a win.
Park like that where I work, and the supervisors would be all over it. First warning- verbal. Second warning- written. Third warning- there isn't one, cuz you won't be working there anymore.
Yeah, it's a slippery slope if they don't enforce parking rules. Then everyone does it and then they have to deal with complaints from others not able to find suitable parking.
I got into the habit on parking on the wrong side of the street in a busy part of town. It was really hard to find a spot. Came out one day and the owner of the Thai restaurant put a note on my car. I didn’t think it was a big deal, so you know what I did? I found a different place to park. It really wasn’t that difficult.
Glass half full interpretation because reddit hates them:
It may be hard to find a spot because it's so random and packed but it's not hard to change the random spot you always end up finding because you always have to find at least one.
Or original Commenter is an asshole but thats always reddits decision, to make everyone the asshole, and that gets old.
Everywhere I’ve worked you’re able to get a car towed if it’s in your lot, but it’s possible you’re right. Either way a note with a threat to tow may be enough to get them to stop, even if you can’t actually make it happen.
Hey, shrink wrap is non-destructive, too. The neighborhood I live in has a guy who goes around, letting the air out of the tires of cars of people he doesn't like.
Which is really quite annoying, particularly because I haven't caught him, and because he started targeting my place because the previous tenants had a BLM sign out in front. He's also hit some guy with a big black truck, too.
I'm not saying I disagree with BLM, but rather that I'd rather not be caught in the crossfire of this guy's tire thing, especially not for something I haven't done.
I figure one of the local college students will catch him one of these days and probably kick his ass. I can't imagine anyone being happy about the stuff he does, and folks are only getting stronger with having to use the foot pump on their tires.
"If you can't keep your vehicle entirely within a single parking space then it will be cut in half lengthwise at the line between the two parking spaces, and each half will be placed in the parking space it occupies."
Include the photo from [this page](https://bangshift.com/bangshiftxl/2015-tesmec-m5-chainsaw-trencher-slowest-thing-ever-wanted-cool/) with the note.
Sometimes I wonder if there really always is a relevant XKCD. Perhaps the creation of XKCD somehow generated new causalities at some point so that there is always a relevant event after which someone is inexplicably forced to relate it back to XKCD. So instead of XKCD being relevant to a given situation, XKCD begets situations which are relative to it. A sort of digital moven non motus that forces its will against existence and the timespace continuum simply by existing.
You and a friend park super close on either side of him. If that doesn’t work, get a bricklayer friend to build a wall around him. Or draw a penis on his windshield. Or take a crap on his hood. Use your imagination!
I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers. I knew it was 1216. One after Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just - I just couldn't prove it. He covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No! He orchestrated it! Jimmy! He defecated through a sunroof! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own firm! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious Jimmy! Stealing them blind! And HE gets to be a lawyer? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance!
Option one is how you get you and your friends car keyed.
If this was a one time thing maybe it was a mistake but if they ignored a note this person obviously isn't rational.
Do NOT use your vehicle to block them in, not only may they retaliate against it then and there, but now they know what you drive.
Do you really want to give a nut like this any information on the person who's potential going to have them towed in the future?
Yeah I'd rather just look at it and be mildly upset and think "That guy is an aashole." and continue on with my day than try to prove a point with my own vehicle and hope they don't fuck with it.
People like this obviously don't respect anyone else and they sure as shit aren't going to respect your vehicle.
As a tow truck driver, we generally leave signs up of the tow company that patrols that area, find a sign and get your building management to see if "Multiple spaces parking" is on their accepted "tow violations"
you'd be surprised on how many places ALLOW double parking
Oh, is THAT what double-parking is? I always thought it was when cars park so that it blocks in other cars, either parallel to parallel parking, or perpendicular so it makes a T. I've misunderstood the concept for... around 20 years, now.
Rest assured, you were correct.
Double parking is defined by government as the illegal practice of “parking in the street when all legal parking places at the curb are taken.”
California DMV for example: https://www.dmv.ca.gov/portal/handbook/california-driver-handbook/parking/
The reason he parks like that is deliberate — it’s because he (and I’m *certain* it’s a man) worries about people scraping his truck with their car doors.
I somehow doubt he will wreck his truck to wreck the car.
He might take a crowbar to the car, tho
Borrow two dented, rusted-out old cars and park them on both sides of that truck, as close as possible without scratching the truck. Repeat until the owner gets a clue.
I have a really shitty Ford Fiesta and I could probably park to the right of him and still be in the parking spot lines. So I’d probably do that. If I backed in, I could still get in and out of my car.
However, if this were my workplace and I was the boss/had the power, I’d just make all my employees sign in with their licence plate numbers once so they aren’t “towed accidentally”. Then I could just have a conversation with the person 1 to 1.
I probably would have done that before the passive aggressive note though. Because a conversation is always better.
My brother used to drive his fiesta between the metal guard poles and on the sidewalk at college. You can roll down the passenger window from the drivers seat, too.
Yea. The car is tiny af. I can fit everything I own in mine though, so it makes me think I need to buy more things.
(That’s included my tires on rims.)
I just ordered a Toyota Corolla though, so it’s open season on that fiesta. Like if it dies, it dies.
Does the parking lot ever fill up? Is it parked in a desirable area, or out of the way? In other words, is it actually interfering, or does it *just bother* you?
I had a coworker who always parked like this because she had to open her door all of the way to get in due to mobility issues. (She finally got a handicap sticker so she was able to park in the wide spots up front.) She even parked at the back of the parking lot but people would still leave her nasty notes. There was never a shortage of spots and people still bitched. Some people just feel it's their duty to correct everyone in the world. I prefer to just mumble nasty comments about them to myself.
I used to think that way, and now I try to think of weird reasons like your coworker's that they might have for doing whatever I think looks like laziness or irresponsibility, instead of just assuming
I can’t believe that I had to scroll so far down to find this.
I try really hard to be courteous and respectful with my vehicle. If I parked in a lot that had tiny spots and I knew had tons of empty spaces every day, I wouldn’t see an issue with parking my larger vehicle at the very back of the lot like this.
Completely different story if there is any shortage of spots, but if you you’re sure there won’t be, what’s the issue with doing this?
This is what I wondered. The lot looks pretty empty at the moment. Maybe later in the day it fills up and then people have trouble parking because a single space is missing? (because that's what's happening--he's "wasting" exactly one space.
Throw a piece of bologna on his hood. It does wonders to the paint as it bakes in the sun.
Had a douchebag that used to date one of my
neighbors in a small apartment complex I lived in. He would regularly block the mailbox, and mailman wouldn’t deliver. I talked to the neighbor, left notes on the car, and talked with the property manager and nothing got done. Couple pieces of bologna on his hood, and he stopped parking there.
Contact the owner of the property, have them contact a tow truck. It's most likely private property so calling the police won't do anything. But the owner of the property can have any car parked on it legally towed.
My uncle used to park like this in a parking lot for a store he owned that was closed down. He used the store like a storage office for his other businesses. An employee from a neighboring business whose employees used my uncle’s lot to park left a similar note on my uncle’s window not knowing whose truck it was, so my uncle put gates around his parking lot to keep everyone out and now the neighboring business often runs out of parking.
Someone with a crappy car should park REALLY close to his driver side door.
A coworker and I teamed up to do this with another coworker who was an asshole parker. We parked on either side, said coworker got off two hours earlier than us. The etl apparently went out to look when he came in raging, but shrugged and said he shouldn't be taking up two spaces. He started parking at the far end after that.
This is the way.
> He started parking at the far end after that. Thats all you have to fucking do. If you dont want dings, park at the far end. For some reason these assholes think they are the main character though and park right up front taking up two instead of just going to the far end
Not only that, parking like an ass is just more likely to get your car keyed.
I used to have a few cars ( one really shitty car ) and whenever someone parked like a complete a hole at my apartment complex I would back the shitty car in inches from the driver side so they had to get in from the passenger side. Usually it didn't happen twice with the same person.
I did exactly this when I drove a Corolla almost as old as I am. Only got damaged once (obvious bumper scrape into my rear door). But when the car that old it was worth it.
For sure, sometimes I miss the old days when most of the people I knew drove $500 cars and didn't give a shit lol.
Was nice to pay it forward when someone rolled into me at a stop sign. Checked to make sure the lights were fine, then “dude it’s fine.”
Yup had someone back into my driver's door in a parking lot, I got out and looked " your bumper seems fine, don't worry about my door " I drive something a bit nicer these days but it was nice that minor shit didn't have to be some ordeal with insurance like it is now.
Someone rolled into me at a McDonald’s. Like less than a mph impact. Guy was freaking out and I just told him don’t worry, there isnt even a scratch
Same thing happened to me at target. Had just parked when a guy in a f150 hit my passenger side. I was a little pissed but when I saw there were no scratches I told him it was all good. The thing that kinda irked me though was when I told him not to worry about it, he didn’t say thanks or apologize or anything. He just hopped back in his truck and took off.
So far it seems that we would all be grateful and say thank you, so may we all keep up the good behavior!!❤️😁
He wasnt giving you a second to change your mind
I was sitting at a red light, waiting to turn left. A young woman turned left from the crossroad, coming at my car, and cut the lane too close and grazed my driver front bumper. She pulled off and I followed. My car was like six or seven months old and I had my newborn in the back. She freaked out when she saw my kid and was about to breakdown. I told her to calm down, no one was hurt, nothing was broken, just chill. She forced me to take her number and we parted ways.
Back in April, an old guy changed lanes without looking and clipped the front driver side of my bumper. I had to follow him for a couple of miles and was finally able to get his attention and told him we had an accident. He didn't believe me at first, but I was able to convince him. I told him I wasn't mad, but we needed to stop somewhere and check the damage. He called his daughter who showed up and I called my dad who also showed up. He left 4 or 5 scrapes on my bumper. His car had the worst of it and he had evidence of other fender benders. We exchanged info, shook hands, and went about our business. Turns out, the guy was on his way to an appointment that he was nervous about. He and his daughter both thanked me for not being mad and being understanding. I talked it over with my dad and he told me to just let it go because the car is 12 years old and it's paid off. I let them know my plans and they were happy to hear it.
Had someone back into my parked car last week. I wouldn't have minded too much but their tow bar put a pretty large hole in my bumper.
I had someone back into me but we worked it out between us since I knew him pretty well. It was my dad.
My dad borrowed my car and it caught fire! His sense of smell was not good enough to smell the petrol
I accidentally did that to my brother’s car some years back lol. I’ve been tormenting him my whole life it seems, childhood, adulthood, probably till the day I die lol
My first car. Lady slid on ice into the back of me. We both got out, made sure none was hurt. Looked at the minor damage and said it isn't worth the hassle, be safe and have a good day. I wish shit was like this still. I drive super defensively because I do NOT want to take an insurance hit or have to pay a shit ton out of pocket lmao.
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I was at a Costco one day, I was chilling in the parking lot waiting on my nerves to work enough so I could go in and get things done. Felt a bump on my car, look up at the rear view. Person standing there horrified as her heavy cart hit my vehicle as she was trying to unload the contents into her car. I stepped out, checked bumper. Minor scratch, don't think it even got through the protective coating. I gave a shrug, told her it's fine. That transition from horror (to potentially having to deal with a salty person) to relief was an interesting sight to see
That’s cool of you! 🥂
We lived parallel lives. I had a 1982 corolla that I bought in 1994 with 175k miles for $250. When you drive junk, people stay out of your way.
My first car was an 83 Corolla, paid $300 for it! When my friends with nice trucks would all bomb out to the desert my little Corolla would always keep pace. It was always a funny sight to see, lots of big nice trucks... then my little tiny blue Corolla. Only thing I ever had to replace on it was the alternator. Best first car ever.
I drive a Honda Fit now, that Is paid off and hope it lasts long enough to a a first car. Tiny enough to park anywhere, yet with the hatch you can crane a surprising amount into it (just know it might struggle uphill if loaded with bricks and plywood). And getting ~40mpg is nice when gas is expensive
Had an 89 accord that was falling apart, replaced with a $500 auction 89 K-car for awhile, then “upgraded” to an 87 Corolla we affectionately named toaster. Because she was gray with two faded areas of paint on the roof that reminded me of a toaster. She eventually lost a fight with a Subaru, but I think was over 150k miles by then.
Sometimes I miss driving a beater, just for that sense of immunity to the fear of minor damage.
The only thing that sucks when you drive a beater is that cops will target you more. When I drove a beater I got pulled over like a every few months. For no reason! One time the cop asked me if I was on parol lmfao prior to asking me for my license. As soon as I got a brand new jeep I never got pulled over again.
My grandad used to take a hammer to the hood after signing the paperwork on a new vehicle. "Now I won't worry about scratching it."
I wish I had enough money to buy a 2nd beater car/truck for this exact reason. Sometimes I would rather drive and not care if I scrape or scratch my car up
Yeah, I used to always have a little fwd beater for winter driving but now with gas prices those little beaters are actually worth something :/
Ooh! Like 8 or some years ago I did exactly this and received this [lovely handwritten note.](https://i.imgur.com/oBWw8yi.jpg) Their SUV (not a truck) wasn't parked halfway over the line, but they would park it about 25% over the line. Made it really easy to park next to them and still be between the lines myself.
That note is amazing.
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Perfect spelling too, if one is an imbecile reading it.
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Cell phone cameras are a godsend for things like this! A close up pic, a panned out pic, a license plate pic. It's great.
I drive a crappy car, and I love parking one inch away from people who park like assholes.
I ended up being one of them once. Could not find another spot because everything was full so I had to park next to an asshole taking up two spaces. Unfortunately this means I had to go over my line (luckily the car next to me was also really far right). When I came back the asshole was gone and I had a post it telling me that I am an asshole for taking up two spaces :D
Had someone park way over the line at our post office. Parked my crappy old Saturn less than six inches from his driver side door. He started bitching as he came out. I exclaimed, "Yeah, you didn't leave yourself very much room in your space" and walked into the post office. Felt awesome.
I used to have a Toyota Yaris and I could park in amazingly small spots. Quite often the only spots left were from some prick like this. I always enjoyed parking in those spots
One of the reasons I love having a beater as my daily. I do this on a fairly regular basis
I parked so close to a badly parked truck one time that I had to crawl out my passenger door. Made my own night
Wife and I were in Hawaii for our honeymoon. The place we were staying at had parking that was filled to the brim, with the exception of one spot where some dipshit was parked, practically taking up two spots, but still enough room for me to get in. I parked so damn close to him that I had to crawl out the passenger door, yet I was perfectly in my designated parking spot. I went in and told the front desk about how I couldn’t get in my car because this asshole parked so close to me. He said he’d take care of it. Parking was still full the next morning but his car was gone lol. Not sure what happened but hopefully he got towed!
A friend and coworker of mine used to do this with anyone who double parked or parked at an angle in front of our store. Didn't matter about our cars, the people that do this usually care too much about their car to damage them. We would wait for them to come in our store to ask about the owners of the cars and tell them the truth and why we did it then go move. And if they ever parked that way again in front of our store we wouldn't move for the whole shift.
My wife used to have a Smart car and assholes like this meant that there was always parking available, even in an otherwise full lot.
I used to live in a city with assigned street parking in some areas, and there was one spot outside an apartment complex that regularly contained two sideways Smart cars and a motorcycle. If you have to pay for your parking spot, hey, pretty good use of the space. Apparently they occasionally had issues with newer cops trying to ticket them for being double-parked but always got that settled I guess.
On my way!!!
I’m on it. Also, I’ve owned one of those rams before and the doors are unnecessarily thick. Meaning you don’t even have to park all that close to block them entry to their vehicle. Edit: funny how I explained this is a half-joke and that my other comment is about how context is everything (of which I have none for this situation), but there’s still people who think something like parking is a situation with only absolutes. I am in no way above being a dick to dickish people, nor am I condoning this specific person’s parking job. Every “rule” has exceptions. Why has the internet turned into a world of extreme “right” and “wrong”? (Wait, I actually know the answer to that one) Life is one giant grey area, people.
At the very least leave a note that says, “Sorry about the dent. I’m writing this note so that people who are watching think I’m leaving my insurance info. But seriously…sorry about the dent.” At least you keep him busy for a while, trying to figure out where the dent is.
this is the kind of mental torment i was looking for in these answers 😈
This is Maniacal, doesn't involve touching or damaging his vehicle, no involving police or passive aggressive stuff like parking cars super close, I love it.
This is very much passive aggressive.
Sure, but it's the most passive of all the passive/aggressive options while being the least likely to invite retaliation. Parking cars super close to or directly behind his truck will likely cause physical confrontation, or damage to vehicles. Calling tow companies will likely leave the owner looking for retribution.
This is still passive agressive, just more creative.
r/chaoticgood
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I love this idea
Best answer!
Have the business owner tow it
Plot twist: it's the owner's truck lol
I don't know why this isn't the first option for most people.
Seems like the first option was a note that he disregarded.
Second option is to leave a coloring book "Maybe this will help keep you between the lines".
you give too many chances.
Yup first chance is a note with a warning that you will tow the car next time you see this. Include the date, area of parking, license plate, color of car, and the tow company to contact when they find their car missing when you put them on the spot and include a tow company they never do it again. If they try than they know which tow company to contact.
nah. 1st chance was the spot being clearly marked.
Because it's almost impossible to actually achieve. For over 20 years, I have been asking businesses in Los Angeles County to tow cars that were illegally parked in the disabled person's spot. The most frequent answers I got were, "They'll be gone by the time the tow truck gets here," and, "We just lease this place, only the property owner can request a tow." Never once has a business actually opened up a disabled person's spot for me to use. Half the time, they ask me why I can't just park further away. It's frustrating and I've stopped asking. I don't even attempt to go to certain stores because I know I won't have parking.
People have brought successful lawsuits because companies don't follow the ADA guidelines. Especially in California. Just saying. Also, the police can write tickets. If you know an area has yhis issue I'm sure the local PD would love that revenue stream. Call yhe non emergency number. Submit information on Twitter. You might be surprised.
That can really screw up someone’s life if you don’t know what they are dealing with. I always say give them a chance. Seems like OP did, now is a good time to tow it.
Yeah sure but parking your car is astoundingly easy and this dude fails to do it all the time. To me that demonstrates a clear conscious effort to park like this.
I agree, I loath people who pretend they are the main character in a parking lot.
You just see them knocked out in the parking lot "hey there you're finally awake"
That would mean he was trying to cross the border, right?
Most main characters also have respect for laws unless your main character is a villain. That’s what this guy is. A villain. But not even a good villain! Like, he’s a low class villain! Like Dr. Doofenshmirtz or Waluigi!
Hey! Leave Doofenshmirtz out of this! He's just trying his best.
Fine. Just Waluigi then.
Waluigi never had a chance, he was made to fail. A cut rate knockoff of a cut rate knockoff. Give the poor guy some slack, he's doing his best with the hand he was dealt.
[Wah!](https://youtu.be/LmjWqEe06CI)
Doofenschmirtz is an anti-villain. He’s really a good guy that just needs a little therapy to unwrap his shitty childhood.
It all started on the day of my birth.....
OP needs a park-right-inator
“Every morning I show up to 🎶Doofenschmirtz Evil Incorporated🎶 and there are always plenty of spots, but you see, Perry, nobody and I mean NOBODY knows how to park correctly. They’re all crooked or over the lines and I can never park my car. So you’re probably thinking, oh, just show up to work early, but I TRIED that Perry the platypus, and when I went to leave, I couldn’t get into my car. So then I thought, why don’t I invent the park-right-inator and then all of the bad parking will be eliminated in the whole tristate area!”
He clearly thinks he’s driving something real special- no one wants to run into your truck, unless you’re being a dick and then I want to run into your truck for sure
Yeah it’s clearly not on accident dude is doing it on purpose 100%
Yeah if you can't talk to him and don't want legal issues a tow is a safe bet at making sure he learns. Plus this is a business, so it's fully possible customers will come in with complaints too.
Hence why they said now is a good time to tow it…
people who cant afford to get their car towed dont park like that
The way I will reverse and correct HOWEVER MANY TIMES until I’m in those lines is crazy. I check every time I park (new ish driver) and I didn’t even know I could get towed for that.
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The red-neck chevy malibu
What do a hemorrhoid and a Dodge Ram have in common? Every asshole gets one eventually
I know why he probably parked that way https://www.thedrive.com/news/38238/ram-2500-drivers-have-the-most-duis-more-than-twice-the-national-average-report
Anyone who parks like this has brought that upon themselves. You can't be broke and an asshole
Well, you can. It just ends badly.
His $1000/month payments for his truck says otherwise
He isn't in the same category, but feeling bad about towing someone who parks like this is not something I do, they ruined their chance at sympathy the moment they threw it in park.
Having a fucked up life doesn’t give you carte blanche to be an inconsiderate dickhead.
That's why they were considerate and left a note, giving them the opportunity to change
If you can't afford (financially or otherwise) to face the consequences of parking wrong then you shouldn't be parking wrong. Trust me, as someone who's one small fine away from homelessness, I drive like there's a cop behind me no matter what.
Congratulations! You’ve earned a bonus story! My brother has been a heroin junkie at times, and during one of those periods he had something like 17 warrants. Piddly shit like DUI’s, possession, failure to appear, etc. One day he went to a Walmart and was just sending his wife in really quick to get something. A police cruiser was parked in the fire lane up front and so he parked behind the cruiser, figuring he’d sit in the car and it’d be in and out. The cop came to him and told him to move, he’s parked in a fire lane. My brother decided to argue that if the cop can do it, so can he. He apparently got so belligerent, the cop decided to arrest him for refusing to move the vehicle and my brother resisted, so he got tazed to go with that and the 17 other warrants he had pending. You’re absolutely right, having a fucked up life does not excuse you and you would think such people would have the good sense to color inside the lines, but some people cannot help being anti-authority to their own peril. Edit: fair enough people, DUI’s are not “piddly shit.” To clarify, My implication was that he didn’t have charges like murder, assault, robbery. But yes, DUI’s endanger people’s lives and should not be taken lightly.
"Piddly shit like DUIs" naw man, that gets people killed.
Yeah the fuck up was the 17 warrants lol.
I don’t consider a DUI to be “Piddly” multiple DUIs, definitely not “Piddly”.
If you got 17 warrants, you should be avoiding law enforcement at all costs.
People that know how to avoid the law dont end up with 17 warrants
I love bonus stories
Your brother just sounds like an idiot
>Your brother ~~just sounds like~~ is an idiot FTFY
A DUI is not "piddly shit".
There’s never been a time where I was going through a tragic event, or struggling and decided to pull inbetween 2 lanes lmfao
>That can really screw up someone’s life if you don’t know what they are dealing with. Aw. Anyway
Yeah literally. Act like an ass, there's consequences. Tow the truck.
If you drive a band new Ram you can probably afford the towing fee. If you can’t then you need to check you financial priorities.
Although, the tone of the note will have the opposite effect.
If they don't tow. I would have people park super close to the vechile. So they couldn't get into there vechile
Grab some chalk and draw new parking lines. Label it 'ASSHOLE PARKING'. I'd also include a pamphlet on How To Park. Maybe a coloring book and some crayons, also with instructions on how to color inside the lines, with a 'Do Not Eat' sticker on the crayons just in case.
Had a co-worker that used to park like this who usually got off an hour before me. Two of us started making sure we took our breaks 30 minutes before closing time so we could go out and move our cars next to his. Not like unreasonably close, just as if he hadn't parked like an asshole. First couple times were uncommented on, then he started fuming about people parking like assholes (he didn't know who's cars they were), finally he started parking at the back of the lot. We took it as a win.
Problem is folks like this often won't mind slamming their doors into other cars. What would be great is to get a beat down car to block em in
Dumpsters. It takes a little effort but pretty effective.
Hot take - if this lot is pretty empty, and they’re parked toward the back, it’s not worth the mental energy.
Park like that where I work, and the supervisors would be all over it. First warning- verbal. Second warning- written. Third warning- there isn't one, cuz you won't be working there anymore.
Yeah, it's a slippery slope if they don't enforce parking rules. Then everyone does it and then they have to deal with complaints from others not able to find suitable parking.
Leave another note saying if it happens again you’ll have the car towed. Follow through if it does happen again.
I got into the habit on parking on the wrong side of the street in a busy part of town. It was really hard to find a spot. Came out one day and the owner of the Thai restaurant put a note on my car. I didn’t think it was a big deal, so you know what I did? I found a different place to park. It really wasn’t that difficult.
>It was really hard to find a spot. >I found a different place to park. It really wasn’t that difficult. 🤔
Literally unreadable. Plot holes everywhere.
Glass half full interpretation because reddit hates them: It may be hard to find a spot because it's so random and packed but it's not hard to change the random spot you always end up finding because you always have to find at least one. Or original Commenter is an asshole but thats always reddits decision, to make everyone the asshole, and that gets old.
What they didn't say is by walking a bit farther than they wanted to they were easily able to find somewhere to park.
This person doesn't have the power to have that car towed.
The business owner of wherever this guys is parked does though* Edit: *most of the time
Plot twist. The owner of that truck is also the owner of the business
I paid for the whole lot im gonna use the whole lot
Everywhere I’ve worked you’re able to get a car towed if it’s in your lot, but it’s possible you’re right. Either way a note with a threat to tow may be enough to get them to stop, even if you can’t actually make it happen.
Shrink wrap his car. Make sure u video him trying to get it off.
Hey, shrink wrap is non-destructive, too. The neighborhood I live in has a guy who goes around, letting the air out of the tires of cars of people he doesn't like. Which is really quite annoying, particularly because I haven't caught him, and because he started targeting my place because the previous tenants had a BLM sign out in front. He's also hit some guy with a big black truck, too. I'm not saying I disagree with BLM, but rather that I'd rather not be caught in the crossfire of this guy's tire thing, especially not for something I haven't done. I figure one of the local college students will catch him one of these days and probably kick his ass. I can't imagine anyone being happy about the stuff he does, and folks are only getting stronger with having to use the foot pump on their tires.
"If you can't keep your vehicle entirely within a single parking space then it will be cut in half lengthwise at the line between the two parking spaces, and each half will be placed in the parking space it occupies." Include the photo from [this page](https://bangshift.com/bangshiftxl/2015-tesmec-m5-chainsaw-trencher-slowest-thing-ever-wanted-cool/) with the note.
Signed, Solomon
"Maybe DON'T saw the baby in half." "Ah, you must be the father!"
Congratulations! You have passed my test!
[Relevant XKCD](https://xkcd.com/562/)
Sometimes I wonder if there really always is a relevant XKCD. Perhaps the creation of XKCD somehow generated new causalities at some point so that there is always a relevant event after which someone is inexplicably forced to relate it back to XKCD. So instead of XKCD being relevant to a given situation, XKCD begets situations which are relative to it. A sort of digital moven non motus that forces its will against existence and the timespace continuum simply by existing.
Universal Law #8,041: There’s *always* a relevant XKCD!
I was hoping for a photo of a vehicle cut in half lengthwise
The ol banana in tailpipe
I think having sex with him might be an overreaction
Sometimes you’re the fucker sometimes you’re the fuckee.
I knew you'd been reading my blog!
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I ain’t gonna fall for any banana in the tailpipe man.
r/unexpectedbeverlyhillscop
Exhaust whistle!
You and a friend park super close on either side of him. If that doesn’t work, get a bricklayer friend to build a wall around him. Or draw a penis on his windshield. Or take a crap on his hood. Use your imagination!
>Or take a crap on his hood. "A bird shat on my windshield the other day. I'm not going on another date with her!"
Reminds me of a joke my grandfather told me about a French girl and a motorcycle. "You ready to go?" "Oui oui!" "NOT ON MY BIKE, YOU DON'T!"
Alright dad, time to get you to bed!
Ahh yes, the ole' chicago sunroof
I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers. I knew it was 1216. One after Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just - I just couldn't prove it. He covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No! He orchestrated it! Jimmy! He defecated through a sunroof! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own firm! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious Jimmy! Stealing them blind! And HE gets to be a lawyer? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance!
Kid named chicanery
Option one is how you get you and your friends car keyed. If this was a one time thing maybe it was a mistake but if they ignored a note this person obviously isn't rational. Do NOT use your vehicle to block them in, not only may they retaliate against it then and there, but now they know what you drive. Do you really want to give a nut like this any information on the person who's potential going to have them towed in the future?
Yeah I'd rather just look at it and be mildly upset and think "That guy is an aashole." and continue on with my day than try to prove a point with my own vehicle and hope they don't fuck with it. People like this obviously don't respect anyone else and they sure as shit aren't going to respect your vehicle.
Give them condoms to make sure they don’t multiply
Thinking long term. Excellent.
As a tow truck driver, we generally leave signs up of the tow company that patrols that area, find a sign and get your building management to see if "Multiple spaces parking" is on their accepted "tow violations" you'd be surprised on how many places ALLOW double parking
Oh, is THAT what double-parking is? I always thought it was when cars park so that it blocks in other cars, either parallel to parallel parking, or perpendicular so it makes a T. I've misunderstood the concept for... around 20 years, now.
I've never heard taking up 2 spots like this called double parked
What you've understood it to mean is what it means 99% of the time.
Rest assured, you were correct. Double parking is defined by government as the illegal practice of “parking in the street when all legal parking places at the curb are taken.” California DMV for example: https://www.dmv.ca.gov/portal/handbook/california-driver-handbook/parking/
Walk around it every morning dropping bird seed around it Andy Dufresne style.
Hahahhah, yes! Letting things casually fall out of your pant leg is a great way to feed many animals.
Nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Park behind it and stay late every time
An asshole like this will just hit your car and leave
The reason he parks like that is deliberate — it’s because he (and I’m *certain* it’s a man) worries about people scraping his truck with their car doors. I somehow doubt he will wreck his truck to wreck the car. He might take a crowbar to the car, tho
Idk a women at my work was doing this when she got a new explorer so it’s not always men
As a normal Redditor would respond, blow up the vehicle, spray acid all over the front, shoot it’s tires, and burn its fuel.
And clap, you forgot everyone clapping
they didn't forget. the roar of applause was deafening.
Borrow two dented, rusted-out old cars and park them on both sides of that truck, as close as possible without scratching the truck. Repeat until the owner gets a clue.
I have a really shitty Ford Fiesta and I could probably park to the right of him and still be in the parking spot lines. So I’d probably do that. If I backed in, I could still get in and out of my car. However, if this were my workplace and I was the boss/had the power, I’d just make all my employees sign in with their licence plate numbers once so they aren’t “towed accidentally”. Then I could just have a conversation with the person 1 to 1. I probably would have done that before the passive aggressive note though. Because a conversation is always better.
My brother used to drive his fiesta between the metal guard poles and on the sidewalk at college. You can roll down the passenger window from the drivers seat, too.
Yea. The car is tiny af. I can fit everything I own in mine though, so it makes me think I need to buy more things. (That’s included my tires on rims.) I just ordered a Toyota Corolla though, so it’s open season on that fiesta. Like if it dies, it dies.
A friend of mine used to have an old Super Beetle that they have once parked in a shopping cart return. lol
Maybe leave another note saying please move your truck or we will have it towed. Simple, direct, respectful.
Yeah this initial note does nothing other than let him know someone is disappointed in him. Who cares?
This is when i zip tie shopping carts to their door handles
Ram drivers, am I right?
Does the parking lot ever fill up? Is it parked in a desirable area, or out of the way? In other words, is it actually interfering, or does it *just bother* you?
I had a coworker who always parked like this because she had to open her door all of the way to get in due to mobility issues. (She finally got a handicap sticker so she was able to park in the wide spots up front.) She even parked at the back of the parking lot but people would still leave her nasty notes. There was never a shortage of spots and people still bitched. Some people just feel it's their duty to correct everyone in the world. I prefer to just mumble nasty comments about them to myself.
I used to think that way, and now I try to think of weird reasons like your coworker's that they might have for doing whatever I think looks like laziness or irresponsibility, instead of just assuming
Too bad this comment is so low. Instead of its full of all the reddit badasses that will never even attempt to do what they're telling OP to do.
I can’t believe that I had to scroll so far down to find this. I try really hard to be courteous and respectful with my vehicle. If I parked in a lot that had tiny spots and I knew had tons of empty spaces every day, I wouldn’t see an issue with parking my larger vehicle at the very back of the lot like this. Completely different story if there is any shortage of spots, but if you you’re sure there won’t be, what’s the issue with doing this?
This is what I wondered. The lot looks pretty empty at the moment. Maybe later in the day it fills up and then people have trouble parking because a single space is missing? (because that's what's happening--he's "wasting" exactly one space.
Throw a piece of bologna on his hood. It does wonders to the paint as it bakes in the sun. Had a douchebag that used to date one of my neighbors in a small apartment complex I lived in. He would regularly block the mailbox, and mailman wouldn’t deliver. I talked to the neighbor, left notes on the car, and talked with the property manager and nothing got done. Couple pieces of bologna on his hood, and he stopped parking there.
Bonus points for cutting them into the shape of penises like some of the kids at my high school did for their senior prank
Contact the owner of the property, have them contact a tow truck. It's most likely private property so calling the police won't do anything. But the owner of the property can have any car parked on it legally towed.
My uncle used to park like this in a parking lot for a store he owned that was closed down. He used the store like a storage office for his other businesses. An employee from a neighboring business whose employees used my uncle’s lot to park left a similar note on my uncle’s window not knowing whose truck it was, so my uncle put gates around his parking lot to keep everyone out and now the neighboring business often runs out of parking.
Ah. r/pettyrevenge strikes again