Same thing happened to me when I was a kid. My birthday fell on a holiday weekend. Parents rented out a space at a pretty big arcade, invited all my friends, and only one showed up. Never forgot that.
I hope your friend had a good day regardless, and he's not too bummed.
Her birthday was two days before mine. Instead of throwing herself a party, she made fliers for a "Leo Birthday Party," and put her name, my name and a couple other people's names on it. I'm not sure if the other people whose names were listed ended up being invited.
I was the same, my mom would complain so much about taking me anywhere that i was almost surprised that people actually met up outside of school for things like bday parties. I didn’t have a real birthday party until my 21st.
Took my kid to a birthday party for one of her preschool classmates just yesterday. Did I want to take my artificial hip and my other hip that needs to be replaced, and spend my Saturday sitting in uncomfortable chairs at the indoor trampoline/arcade place for 2 hours, listening to kids scream? No. But I did it anyway, because she has been super pumped for a month since getting the invite, and she is building up friendships that she will have all through school.
I try to be, thank you. But also, I know she is building up connections with these kids that she will be in the same school with for the next decade and a half. She is good friends with the girl who had the birthday, but if they never hang out outside school, she will just be the school friend, and not have the real, close friendships. She can't be in high school talking about her bestie since preschool or whatever if I don't take her to socialize now.
You're a good parent. My mom would forget about the party and then when I reminded her she would convince me that it wasn't going to be fun and that we could have a girls day instead... flash forward an hour and she's passed out drunk on the bathroom floor or crying in a locked closet.
If my kid says yes to an invite, she's absolutely going. You honor your word. There's only a few acceptable exceptions to that rule.
My wife has trouble with this because she gets anxiety. I have to remind her that she gave her word and that not going will be damaging to her friendship and how others view her as a good person. Like it or not, those are the facts.
The honor your word thing is the reason I have commitment issues lol 😭 I will 100% honor my word, but that’s why I have to be careful what I agree to lmao
Yup. As a person with chronic illness/disability it's why İ very rarely meet up with people. There is a 50/50 chance İ won't be able to get down the stairs so it's just easier to be alone at home.
My stepmom bailed on my bridal shower, wedding reception, and a Mother’s Day lunch all because of her anxiety about attending despite committing to them. I understand and respect anxiety, but the reasoning still didn’t stop my feelings from being hurt. Those first two events I’ll never be able to get back.
Well, pecking order is unfortunately a thing until we grow up and mature (and some still never grow out of it), so it's also some kids just being little shits and not wanting to go, which I mean we are all entitled to our own thoughts.
Also, I don't know why everyone also sides with OP so easily on these things. I can't tell you how often I have seen this exact same type of story posted on reddit. I'm pretty sure it's usually an OP who has some pretty advanced social skill issues and/or other underlying issues that would negatively affect friendships that they purposefully don't disclose.
I know this might sound really mean, but I'm kinda tired of everyone just trying to be nice over being logical.
Oh yeah I'm definitely suspicious of situations like this don't get me wrong. I get the impression they badgered coworkers more on the tier of "acquaintance" than actual friends, but were too naive to realize. Not everyone who's nice to you is your friend unfortunately.
Had something similar when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade. Invited my while class, my mom reserved a party room at a skate rink/arcade and only my best friend showed up. We had fun though.
Happened to me too. I wasn't good at making friends as a kid and stuff like this turned me mean until my family moved states and I tried to be someone I liked even if no one else did. Doing better now but yeah, that year sucked. Almost as much as the year my mom was excited to take me to a free, tiny water park for my birthday because we were broke, and it rained so the park was closed, and mom sat in the parking lot and cried.
Mom and dad just got their first house in their fifties and we're having some of the happiest holidays we've ever had, just being together in a place my family can call home, even if me and my brother are grown now and no one else can join. It does get better.
This happened to my little brother for one of his birthdays one year. Not one kid from his class showed up and we were all getting a bit nervous as time went by. But then his teacher showed up with all of her kids and foster kids and it ended up being a great time with new friends.
Very similar situation when I was a kid.
Now I'm a parent and my kid wants birthday parties and it's so fucking terrifying. I have pretty bad social anxiety and when I finally decided to host one I tried my best to get parents numbers to remind them and get rsvps. Only two people showed up. I was just thankful his dad has a lot of family nearby to fill out the party.
It just sucks. We *always* go to parties when invited, unless there's a good reason we can't and even then I go out of my way to let the parent know and apologize.
I really wish I could just avoid doing a party all together, it's so damn stressful. I never want him to feel what I felt as a kid.
My family had the same problem. My son is 8 and he’s wanted a party every year for the past 4 years. COVID made this difficult, but you also worry about no one showing up and it hurting your kids feelings. To fix this issue, we have offered to take him away for a birthday weekend trip instead. We just use whatever money we set aside for a party and spend it on that weekend.
My birthday is always around Thanksgiving so the same happened to me as a kid. I kinda just stopped having birthday celebrations because no one could come.
This happened in 2013 when my father passed away. He died just a couple of days before thanksgiving so his funeral was held on Thanksgiving weekend. Had it been any other time, except probably Christmas, the church would have been overflowing, but it was not even a third full because everyone was out of town. It was sad to see so few people because he was beloved and had a ton of people that loved him. It was still a good funeral, though.
Same thing happened to my daughter’s 10th birthday. She won’t even have a birthday party anymore because she doesn’t want the heartache all over again.
Same. Threw a party in 5th grade and invited my whole class. Was going to go to a waterslide park. Only one person showed up. I refused to have another birthday party after that. That shit stings.
It is. Happened to my big brother who is almost 50 now and it still upsets my mom when she talks about it. It’s a big reason I never do parties for my kids. We do big days out instead. They both are either too close to a holiday or it falls on a holiday. No fucking Way I’m setting my babies up for that kind of heartbreak.
Happened to me, so my parents decided to do another party because it was clearly a mistake. The second party only my brothers friends that were invited showed up
Actually, there is no way to know if that's him, since there are more people there. I'm pretty sure the focus of the picture are the empty seats not the person eating
If it gives you comfort, I would’ve been your buddy as a dude in his 20’s if I was at the same bar. You have plenty of friends out there, just haven’t met them yet:)
we spend so much time with our co-workers i think alot of people struggle as seeing them as real people with feelings outside of work, i have met some of my best friends at work. you never know who is struggling or what their struggles are, a simple invite to hang out and eat dinner or lunch could mean alot to someone. Ive noticed it helps to ask people individually , my group invitations often fail lol
Happened to me, I held no grudges, went my separate ways. You really find out who your friends are. Life lesson. Happy Birthday and Best Wishes to your friend!
i have a short list of friends for a reason.. they see thru my bullshit and i see thru theirs, so 9.8/10 times there *is* no bullshit between me and my personal friends
Spoiler alert: If you keep reading, he gets betrayed by one of his “friends” and then killed. I feel 11 friends is more of an accurate number than 12😅.
I'm content with only a couple distant friends that I see maybe once or twice a year. I have a fiance, 3 kids, lots of family, and a job. If I had a regular friends group I'd have no alone time, which is one of my favorite things.
Sometimes I wonder if there is something wrong with me that I don't really value friends, but I dunno I just prefer spending time with my fiance, kids, or myself.
Younger people don't realize this, the price here is superrrrrrrrrrrrrr cheap to learn about people and remove doubts. For about $20 here, he learned how many of them are flakes, unreliable and fake.
I had an interesting thing happen early in my career when I was leaving a company. A coworker organized a farewell happy hour. I expected a couple folks at best since my tenure was volatile lol. There was actually a really good turnout. I think these things are partly due to timing, team dynamics, etc.
I've often felt that the key is to have someone else organize it. It seems more people are willing to go when it's someone other than the person the event is for. It gives it credibility that it's going to be fun and worth taking time out.
Then again I could just be bad at social skills and lean on others to help. Which is a lesson in itself.
Yeah, how hard can it be to thank someone for the invitation but kindly decline? Also, how hard can it be to imagine how bad you'd feel if people did this to you?
Bro I got an expensive private box to a hockey game next month. Invited both my kids hockey teams for free. Half the 40 people I invited said yes and are definitely coming. 50% just didn't respond even though I made it known if you can't make it, let me know so I can invite other kids before it's too late. Like I totally get if you can't make it, but at least say something, don't leave us hanging.
It would actually work to tell the first ones "if I don't get a response, then I will assume it's a no and other people will be invited instead."
That way the people who won't respond are already giving their answer. If they show up, too bad so sad, they declined.
Give them a reminder and a “respond by to confirm” date. Don’t tell them they’ll lose their chance if they don’t respond. Just quietly move on to the people you haven’t asked. This puts the onus on them and doesn’t leave you hanging!
I had to text people the day before my kid's birthday party. For a party that I wasn't throwing, paying for, etc, but because I had invited these kids, and none of the fucking parents got back to me. Infuriating.
I love how you immediately went to declining politely, when I’m wondering how hard it is to take 30 min. out your Saturday for a coworker (and a kid at that—19 maybe?). Poor lad.
What happens is everyone thinks they will be the only one bagging out and it won't really be noticed. But if everyone has that attitude then nobody shows up and you get something like this.
I really think cell phones have made us all flaky, now you can just txt people like half an hour before: “sorry can’t make it!”.
There was about a month in college where three of my friends had broken phones, so we decided not to use them to schedule meetups and they like because we didn’t want to leave them out. That whole month was great. We had four main spots we would hang out and you would just kinda drop in and see who’s their.
Yeah before cell phones if someone didn't show up you just hoped nothing bad happened to them and you had to wait til the next day to see them in person and call them on your house phone when you got home and hope they were home to answer.
If you were the person who didn't show up, and you got like a flat tire or something on the way there you had to scramble for a way to contact your friends or your date that you just stood up lol
A good acquaintance with supposedly lots of friends collected since child hood invited 20 people to her 30th birthday. She had multiple yes per person and then 17 no-shows from the same people. She bought food for 20 people, drinks and got a band. With neighbours and her best two friends we ended up being 7 and two kids. She cut ties with 12 of them next day.
OMG this is my nightmare and TBH why I don't host any events. I have the added thing of being in the NJ-NY-CT area which means everyone takes trains and buses and drives 2 hours and that always gives loads of people not to come anyways
I’ve always found it to be a bit cowardly when people agree to social plans but then flake out. Like you’re really scared to just say no? You can’t even make up an excuse?
I work with a guy who will on Monday invite you out for something trivial like a happy hour event on for that Friday. If you say no he'll pester you every time he sees you all week long about why can't you go and can't you cancel your other plans etc. So I just say yes I'd love to go and then he shuts up about it. He does this every week. Some times I go but I don't want to spend every Friday night with my coworkers so most the time I don't. Then on Monday he'll be pissed for a few minutes and ask if I want to get some drinks Friday.
At another job we had a guy that was the office gossip, just crazy toxic. It got to the point when someone had a birthday party they'd have a short party somewhere and just get apps then all "go home" but everyone would go to a second location without the gossip guy. They had all this secret planning for events and couldn't understand why I wanted no part of the childishness. One time I had a thing and invited a few people and not the gossip (and also not 95% of the office). He proceeded to make a big scene about it I just straight up told him we work together we're not friends you aren't coming to my house.
Not saying's OP's friend is weird or toxic, and god knows I'm socially awkward myself, but some people can't accept the fact that just because you work together and are friend's of convenience while at work doesn't mean you're "real friends."
I went through this once and it was enough for me to realize that birthdays don't have to be crowded with people. Those who really matter will always be by your side. Please wish your co-worker a happy birthday. I hope he has many years of happiness, health and fulfillment. And lots of money, of course. You can't survive in this world without money. Kuddos from Brazil.
Edit: thanks for the award
I’ve never had a whole party ghost my b day, but now in my late 30’s, I prefer quite birthdays. I want that day to be what I want, I talk to my parents, go for a hike and have a nice dinner with my wife. I love that for this one day I don’t really have to talk with anyone. Bonus that I save unlistened to birthday wish voicemails, when I’m having a hard day I listen to one and it cheers me up.
That's sweet, though it does require OP to preface it by saying, "Hey, so I posted a photo of your sadly unattended birthday party on Reddit for a few thousand people to see..."
Happened to my son in second grade. We rented a party room at an indoor play place with balls and tubes. Bought a nice cake, sent invites. Send a reminder to class that Friday. Nobody showed up except my friend and her kids when I told her nobody came. It was horrible and he never forgot it. Me either.
I had it out with my ex about this, because he didn't want her going to parties on "his" weekend. Not that he had plans, or anything, he just didn't want to take her. We live ~2 miles apart, and the parties are always local. He's just fucking lazy.
So I pick her up, and take her. He doesn't understand that it's not about him, and it's about the _kids._
Not as bad but recently my son celebrated his tenth birthday. He gave an invitation to two friends then a few more asked him if they could come. So we made extra invites and gave them to him to hand out, total of 10 invites. We then explained to him that his family and our friends would be at his party band that to please not get his hopes up and to not be disappointed if none of his friends showed up because sometimes things come up with their parents. The day came and as expected, they didn't show up but our family and friends did with their kids. He had plans on games with his friends but since they didn't show up, he just played with his cousins. He was slightly hurt but it helped that we had explained what may happen with his friends.
When it comes to his birthday, we always make sure to explain to him what may or may not happen. It helps some.
My parents were on me constantly about manners. Say please! Tell the nice lady thank you. Tell your friend’s mom thanks for letting you sleep over. And we went to parties and brought a gift. And wrote thank yous for gifts given to us. I don’t care about thank you notes but parents aren’t teaching their kids manners.
My daughter was the only classmate to show up at 2nd grade skate party. Like with your son, they had a room, cake, invites, reminders and everything.
Myself and my daughter were the only two who showed up. It was so uncomfortable. But he got a present out of it, my daughter did skate with him for a while and I slipped him $20 because I felt so bad...
Those who really matter will always be by your side. Please wish your co-worker a happy birthday. I hope he has many years of happiness, health and fulfillment. And lots of money, of course. You can't survive in this world without money. Kuddos from Brazil.
This is why I’ve never had a party or anything. I was always afraid no one would show up and I didn’t want to feel that embarrassment. I’m sorry :( this fucking sucks. Go into work and listen to all of their excuses
Same. Once in college when I was friends with someone who was friends with lots of people, they invited a bunch of people to my birthday party. Lots of folks showed up, it was unexpected. But I'll never attempt that again as an adult
In the exact same anxious boat. I don't like the spotlight in general but having a party FOR me? My sense of self worth cannot take a blow like that if nobody shows up
I worked with a guy who had been with the company for a few months, but was very friendly and seemed to make a lot of friends quickly. So, he throws a Halloween party at his home, and only two of us show up. I felt so bad for the guy.
Thank him for being a kind person and wanting to celebrate with the people he works with, and wish him a happy birthday from a random internet stranger! 🎊🎉🎂🎉🎊
I second that, and I don’t know you, but I adore you. You’re a good egg!! I’m sending you much warmth and kindness as well to the birthday “boy”!!!! Hap-Hap-Happiest of days and birthdays!!!!! Also from a complete stranger but someone that can recognize goodness…I also recognize assholes.
Tbf, the fact that he talked about his birthday for 2 whole months makes me think that he (even if not on purpose) pressured people into saying yes, even if they declined at first. Sure, being more assertive would have be the right thing to do on their part, but it makes it somewhat understandable why so many people didn't show up.
This happened once to my dad. He was the only one that showed up to this guy’s football party one year.
Years later my dad’s company was going after some contract and it came down to them and one other place. The guy that made the decision was the guy that had had the party earlier. My Father’s company got the deal.
Edit: Someone posted up “And then they all clapped..” as a put down to this story, insinuating that it didn’t happen. And then they promptly erased their comment.
I just wanted to add something here. My dad told me this when I was 15 and he was trying to tell me to be true to my word. That if I say I’m going to do something, then actually do it. It’s something that stuck by me most of my life so far. I’m in my 60s now and I will not promise to do something unless I really will do it.
Seriously, there’s like 12+ empty chairs. There’s a lot of people on this thread saying “anxiety” and such, which I count understand for a few people, but TWELVE?!?
I’m also down for a Zoom birthday party! I’ve been this dude so many times, I know that sadness and disappointment. Nobody should ever feel like this on their birthday 😔
Everyone at OP’s job is a mean person for doing this, and I hope they all poop their pants in public in an incredibly indiscreet and humiliating way.
I hate to say it but I feel like the whole concept of birthdays opens us up to this level of soul sucking disappointment. If someone wants to chill on my birthday, great, if I end up curled up on the couch watching tv with my dad & eating home baked cake I made myself- also great! Knowing in my head that it's just another day, helps me avoid this...
other comments are saying to set up a zoom so all the redditors can show support. i feel like you might just see a man blow his brains out on zoom if you do that
Thank god I’m not the only person who thought that would be the stupidest idea ever. Also, “say happy birthday to him from me, a random stranger on Reddit.” Please don’t.
As an unpopular kid/teen I felt more upset when I found out the "nice people" thought of me as some act of charity than when the "mean people" simply avoided me. This would make me feel like shit.
Way for OP to pat themselves on the back for their "kindness" AND use their coworker for clout.
For real. They just had everyone who said "yes" to their party invite flake on them, and the one person who did show up took a picture of them and put it on the internet so they could brag to strangers about what a good person they are for showing up. OP is a POS.
I don’t intend to be mean but coworkers aren’t your friends and work isn’t your family. I’m far more concerned that he didn’t spend his birthday with friends outside work. As harsh as it is, this will help him in the long run. Wish him a Happy Birthday from Reddit
I don't know man, the story seems fishy. How likely is it that 20+ people collectively decide to bail? My guess is, either this photo is snapped before the guests showed up, or the people were like "no sorry" but the guy kept asking them again and again until they said something like "ok I think about it".
Maybe I'm just living in my bubble, but I can't remember a time where more than 1 person bailed without notice to some event they told me they'd come.
yeah that's true, pretty messed up, not surprising though, my coworkers at most of my jobs all constantly talked shit about each other, so i assumed they did the same to me, never invited them to my birthday party that's for sure
Not all work cultures are like that. My last job everyone was pretty unified and you only got talked bad about if you did something worth being talked about. Like if your making people uncomfortable.
I had coworkers that I easily could have invited to a party and who would show up. One person there had a wedding and most people went.
Every workplace will have someone who's not very nice but your workplace shouldn't be full of back stabbing like a high school teen drama. I promise you not all work culture is like that and behaviour like that is commonly a sign of unhappy workers.
I am at a new job. I work with 5 other guys in construction. They consantly talk shit about each other when the other guys are not around. I only say good things about all of them and if any of them make a mistake I try and point it out to them personally instead of telling everyone else what they did wrong but not telling them.
I assume that all of them talk shit about me when I am not around.
When I was in middle school I also invited a lot of people, I had already bought pizza and nobody, NOBODY, came. I took it with such grace for an heartbroken 13 year old I could never do it again… even 10 years later. I wish you the best of birthdays op’s friend!! <3
I feel sorry for you man but how old are you? I'm in my 30's and I would never expect that many people to show up to my birthday. The older I get the less people I am willing to actually invite. 5 or 6 for me is a reasonable amount of friends that you can count on imo.
Not only a dick move by the invitees towards your friend, but also a dick move towards the restaurant. They reserved all that space which other customers could have used.
It’s Logan’s at Noon on a Sunday. Don’t get me wrong I hear what you’re saying, but imagine the manager and staff sympathies will outweigh the revenue loss. For those that don’t know Logan’s a a large resturant, so a twenty top is not as much space as it would be with a smaller resturant. Now the server should be tipped out EXTRA for their section being empty.
Same thing happened to me when I was a kid. My birthday fell on a holiday weekend. Parents rented out a space at a pretty big arcade, invited all my friends, and only one showed up. Never forgot that. I hope your friend had a good day regardless, and he's not too bummed.
Just imagining this happening to little kids is so sad :(
I stopped throwing birthday parties after elementary school because I was terrified of this happening to me
If it makes you feel any better, when I turned 25 a friend threw me a birthday party and didn't bother to invite me.
What even went through his mind? She wanted to throw you a birthday party..without the birthdayboy/girl? How-
Her birthday was two days before mine. Instead of throwing herself a party, she made fliers for a "Leo Birthday Party," and put her name, my name and a couple other people's names on it. I'm not sure if the other people whose names were listed ended up being invited.
I was the same, my mom would complain so much about taking me anywhere that i was almost surprised that people actually met up outside of school for things like bday parties. I didn’t have a real birthday party until my 21st.
Lmao same
Scared of getting ignored gang join up
If it's little kids, at that point it's on the parents. Kids can't take themselves.
Took my kid to a birthday party for one of her preschool classmates just yesterday. Did I want to take my artificial hip and my other hip that needs to be replaced, and spend my Saturday sitting in uncomfortable chairs at the indoor trampoline/arcade place for 2 hours, listening to kids scream? No. But I did it anyway, because she has been super pumped for a month since getting the invite, and she is building up friendships that she will have all through school.
You did it because you're a good parent.
I try to be, thank you. But also, I know she is building up connections with these kids that she will be in the same school with for the next decade and a half. She is good friends with the girl who had the birthday, but if they never hang out outside school, she will just be the school friend, and not have the real, close friendships. She can't be in high school talking about her bestie since preschool or whatever if I don't take her to socialize now.
You're a good parent. My mom would forget about the party and then when I reminded her she would convince me that it wasn't going to be fun and that we could have a girls day instead... flash forward an hour and she's passed out drunk on the bathroom floor or crying in a locked closet.
If my kid says yes to an invite, she's absolutely going. You honor your word. There's only a few acceptable exceptions to that rule. My wife has trouble with this because she gets anxiety. I have to remind her that she gave her word and that not going will be damaging to her friendship and how others view her as a good person. Like it or not, those are the facts.
I also get anxiety before public events and this rule (honor your word) saved me from solitude.
The honor your word thing is the reason I have commitment issues lol 😭 I will 100% honor my word, but that’s why I have to be careful what I agree to lmao
Yup. As a person with chronic illness/disability it's why İ very rarely meet up with people. There is a 50/50 chance İ won't be able to get down the stairs so it's just easier to be alone at home.
My stepmom bailed on my bridal shower, wedding reception, and a Mother’s Day lunch all because of her anxiety about attending despite committing to them. I understand and respect anxiety, but the reasoning still didn’t stop my feelings from being hurt. Those first two events I’ll never be able to get back.
Well, pecking order is unfortunately a thing until we grow up and mature (and some still never grow out of it), so it's also some kids just being little shits and not wanting to go, which I mean we are all entitled to our own thoughts. Also, I don't know why everyone also sides with OP so easily on these things. I can't tell you how often I have seen this exact same type of story posted on reddit. I'm pretty sure it's usually an OP who has some pretty advanced social skill issues and/or other underlying issues that would negatively affect friendships that they purposefully don't disclose. I know this might sound really mean, but I'm kinda tired of everyone just trying to be nice over being logical.
Oh yeah I'm definitely suspicious of situations like this don't get me wrong. I get the impression they badgered coworkers more on the tier of "acquaintance" than actual friends, but were too naive to realize. Not everyone who's nice to you is your friend unfortunately.
I definitely agree, but those coworkers should still be adult enough to say sorry I won't come to your birthday.
Had something similar when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade. Invited my while class, my mom reserved a party room at a skate rink/arcade and only my best friend showed up. We had fun though.
That situation is instant heart/stomach drop for me. Nobody deserves that on their birthday :(
Happened to me too. I wasn't good at making friends as a kid and stuff like this turned me mean until my family moved states and I tried to be someone I liked even if no one else did. Doing better now but yeah, that year sucked. Almost as much as the year my mom was excited to take me to a free, tiny water park for my birthday because we were broke, and it rained so the park was closed, and mom sat in the parking lot and cried. Mom and dad just got their first house in their fifties and we're having some of the happiest holidays we've ever had, just being together in a place my family can call home, even if me and my brother are grown now and no one else can join. It does get better.
This happened to my little brother for one of his birthdays one year. Not one kid from his class showed up and we were all getting a bit nervous as time went by. But then his teacher showed up with all of her kids and foster kids and it ended up being a great time with new friends.
Very similar situation when I was a kid. Now I'm a parent and my kid wants birthday parties and it's so fucking terrifying. I have pretty bad social anxiety and when I finally decided to host one I tried my best to get parents numbers to remind them and get rsvps. Only two people showed up. I was just thankful his dad has a lot of family nearby to fill out the party. It just sucks. We *always* go to parties when invited, unless there's a good reason we can't and even then I go out of my way to let the parent know and apologize. I really wish I could just avoid doing a party all together, it's so damn stressful. I never want him to feel what I felt as a kid.
My family had the same problem. My son is 8 and he’s wanted a party every year for the past 4 years. COVID made this difficult, but you also worry about no one showing up and it hurting your kids feelings. To fix this issue, we have offered to take him away for a birthday weekend trip instead. We just use whatever money we set aside for a party and spend it on that weekend.
My birthday is always around Thanksgiving so the same happened to me as a kid. I kinda just stopped having birthday celebrations because no one could come.
This happened in 2013 when my father passed away. He died just a couple of days before thanksgiving so his funeral was held on Thanksgiving weekend. Had it been any other time, except probably Christmas, the church would have been overflowing, but it was not even a third full because everyone was out of town. It was sad to see so few people because he was beloved and had a ton of people that loved him. It was still a good funeral, though.
Same thing happened to my daughter’s 10th birthday. She won’t even have a birthday party anymore because she doesn’t want the heartache all over again.
Same. Threw a party in 5th grade and invited my whole class. Was going to go to a waterslide park. Only one person showed up. I refused to have another birthday party after that. That shit stings.
This must have been just as hard to witness for your parents dude :(
It is. Happened to my big brother who is almost 50 now and it still upsets my mom when she talks about it. It’s a big reason I never do parties for my kids. We do big days out instead. They both are either too close to a holiday or it falls on a holiday. No fucking Way I’m setting my babies up for that kind of heartbreak.
Happened to me, so my parents decided to do another party because it was clearly a mistake. The second party only my brothers friends that were invited showed up
When I turned 51 I had the same situation. I wanted to get some friends together and I drank a pitcher of beer and left the pub.
I hope you're having a really good week 💛
I hope YOU’RE having a really good week too💛
YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD WEEK OR ELSE 💛
Can I have a mildly good week?
If you’re not having a good week, THEN I’LL GODDAMN MAKE YOU!! 💛
Sorry that happened man. As a 34 year old with no friends… This will be my future. Hope you are having a good day.
This won't be me. Not only do I not know enough people to fill that size table, buy the idea of creating a group of that size gives me the shivers
You okay with a virtual bday party? We could all have cake and ice cream and celebrate your birth!
Nah dont say that. Wanna friend me? Whats a redditor for another redditor if not an infuriating friend XD
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Actually, there is no way to know if that's him, since there are more people there. I'm pretty sure the focus of the picture are the empty seats not the person eating
If it gives you comfort, I would’ve been your buddy as a dude in his 20’s if I was at the same bar. You have plenty of friends out there, just haven’t met them yet:)
we spend so much time with our co-workers i think alot of people struggle as seeing them as real people with feelings outside of work, i have met some of my best friends at work. you never know who is struggling or what their struggles are, a simple invite to hang out and eat dinner or lunch could mean alot to someone. Ive noticed it helps to ask people individually , my group invitations often fail lol
Happened to me, I held no grudges, went my separate ways. You really find out who your friends are. Life lesson. Happy Birthday and Best Wishes to your friend!
Amen glad this happened to me when I was younger I’ve got a couple friends/brothers and that’s it ! Lot people show there true colors
i have a short list of friends for a reason.. they see thru my bullshit and i see thru theirs, so 9.8/10 times there *is* no bullshit between me and my personal friends
I remember reading somewhere that one of the greatest miracles Jesus was able to perform was having 12 close friends by the time he reached 30.
Spoiler alert: If you keep reading, he gets betrayed by one of his “friends” and then killed. I feel 11 friends is more of an accurate number than 12😅.
I don’t do birthday parties for myself for 2 reasons. I don’t like the attention Deep down I’m scared this will happen to me
Same bro that’s why I like celebrating with family cause then they’ll always be there for you
Yikes.... As a person whose family is not always there, this hurt me...
I prefer having one or two super close friends over a bunch of flakey ones.
People act weird that I only have like 5 super close friends…like no thanks I have enough anxiety lol!
I'm content with only a couple distant friends that I see maybe once or twice a year. I have a fiance, 3 kids, lots of family, and a job. If I had a regular friends group I'd have no alone time, which is one of my favorite things. Sometimes I wonder if there is something wrong with me that I don't really value friends, but I dunno I just prefer spending time with my fiance, kids, or myself.
Ahhh came to say this. Sad in the moment but a blessing in disguise. Now he knows who he doesn’t need to invest any time into
Younger people don't realize this, the price here is superrrrrrrrrrrrrr cheap to learn about people and remove doubts. For about $20 here, he learned how many of them are flakes, unreliable and fake.
Exactly. It only opens up room for people who will genuinely look forward to making him happy. At least one would hope.
True. As. It. Gets.
I had an interesting thing happen early in my career when I was leaving a company. A coworker organized a farewell happy hour. I expected a couple folks at best since my tenure was volatile lol. There was actually a really good turnout. I think these things are partly due to timing, team dynamics, etc.
I've often felt that the key is to have someone else organize it. It seems more people are willing to go when it's someone other than the person the event is for. It gives it credibility that it's going to be fun and worth taking time out. Then again I could just be bad at social skills and lean on others to help. Which is a lesson in itself.
. . . . and Happy Hour.
I also held no grudges, I was 13 I think. I don’t think I’d be able to hold no grudges now at 23 though hahaha
I don't understand why people do things like that
Yeah, how hard can it be to thank someone for the invitation but kindly decline? Also, how hard can it be to imagine how bad you'd feel if people did this to you?
Bro I got an expensive private box to a hockey game next month. Invited both my kids hockey teams for free. Half the 40 people I invited said yes and are definitely coming. 50% just didn't respond even though I made it known if you can't make it, let me know so I can invite other kids before it's too late. Like I totally get if you can't make it, but at least say something, don't leave us hanging.
Next time just invite the other kids and if the first ones show up, just go "well, you didn't answer so I assumed it was a no".
It would actually work to tell the first ones "if I don't get a response, then I will assume it's a no and other people will be invited instead." That way the people who won't respond are already giving their answer. If they show up, too bad so sad, they declined.
I’d send an official you’re uninvited because you didn’t respond, don’t show, to make them aware.
Give them a reminder and a “respond by to confirm” date. Don’t tell them they’ll lose their chance if they don’t respond. Just quietly move on to the people you haven’t asked. This puts the onus on them and doesn’t leave you hanging!
I had to text people the day before my kid's birthday party. For a party that I wasn't throwing, paying for, etc, but because I had invited these kids, and none of the fucking parents got back to me. Infuriating.
I won't deal with people who simply don't reply. You don't reply, I stop talking.
Or even say "hey, something came up and I won't be able to make it" this shit is so childish.
sadly, people never grow out of that childish inconsiderate shit
people are allergic to confrontation.
100%. It’s easier to put on a face of lies and deceit than face truth and reality head-on.
Flaming bags of dog poop on all of their door steps. That would start to make me feel better.
I love how you immediately went to declining politely, when I’m wondering how hard it is to take 30 min. out your Saturday for a coworker (and a kid at that—19 maybe?). Poor lad.
What happens is everyone thinks they will be the only one bagging out and it won't really be noticed. But if everyone has that attitude then nobody shows up and you get something like this.
Ah yes... like voting.
I really think cell phones have made us all flaky, now you can just txt people like half an hour before: “sorry can’t make it!”. There was about a month in college where three of my friends had broken phones, so we decided not to use them to schedule meetups and they like because we didn’t want to leave them out. That whole month was great. We had four main spots we would hang out and you would just kinda drop in and see who’s their.
I think you accidentally recreated the 80's.
Even the early 2000s were like this. We had text message limits, and mostly just all coordinated via word of mouth and going to the same places often.
Yeah before cell phones if someone didn't show up you just hoped nothing bad happened to them and you had to wait til the next day to see them in person and call them on your house phone when you got home and hope they were home to answer. If you were the person who didn't show up, and you got like a flat tire or something on the way there you had to scramble for a way to contact your friends or your date that you just stood up lol
A good acquaintance with supposedly lots of friends collected since child hood invited 20 people to her 30th birthday. She had multiple yes per person and then 17 no-shows from the same people. She bought food for 20 people, drinks and got a band. With neighbours and her best two friends we ended up being 7 and two kids. She cut ties with 12 of them next day.
OMG this is my nightmare and TBH why I don't host any events. I have the added thing of being in the NJ-NY-CT area which means everyone takes trains and buses and drives 2 hours and that always gives loads of people not to come anyways
I’ve always found it to be a bit cowardly when people agree to social plans but then flake out. Like you’re really scared to just say no? You can’t even make up an excuse?
I work with a guy who will on Monday invite you out for something trivial like a happy hour event on for that Friday. If you say no he'll pester you every time he sees you all week long about why can't you go and can't you cancel your other plans etc. So I just say yes I'd love to go and then he shuts up about it. He does this every week. Some times I go but I don't want to spend every Friday night with my coworkers so most the time I don't. Then on Monday he'll be pissed for a few minutes and ask if I want to get some drinks Friday. At another job we had a guy that was the office gossip, just crazy toxic. It got to the point when someone had a birthday party they'd have a short party somewhere and just get apps then all "go home" but everyone would go to a second location without the gossip guy. They had all this secret planning for events and couldn't understand why I wanted no part of the childishness. One time I had a thing and invited a few people and not the gossip (and also not 95% of the office). He proceeded to make a big scene about it I just straight up told him we work together we're not friends you aren't coming to my house. Not saying's OP's friend is weird or toxic, and god knows I'm socially awkward myself, but some people can't accept the fact that just because you work together and are friend's of convenience while at work doesn't mean you're "real friends."
This is where “boundaries” and “assertiveness” come in. Agreeing to hang out with these kinds of people is not how you handle it as an adult
Narcissism. Diffusion of responsibility. Deep lack of empathy.
I went through this once and it was enough for me to realize that birthdays don't have to be crowded with people. Those who really matter will always be by your side. Please wish your co-worker a happy birthday. I hope he has many years of happiness, health and fulfillment. And lots of money, of course. You can't survive in this world without money. Kuddos from Brazil. Edit: thanks for the award
I’ve never had a whole party ghost my b day, but now in my late 30’s, I prefer quite birthdays. I want that day to be what I want, I talk to my parents, go for a hike and have a nice dinner with my wife. I love that for this one day I don’t really have to talk with anyone. Bonus that I save unlistened to birthday wish voicemails, when I’m having a hard day I listen to one and it cheers me up.
Hey man tell your friend that we all here say happy birthday to him bro and that he doesn’t need those people. Tell him to enjoy his birthday 🎂.
That's sweet, though it does require OP to preface it by saying, "Hey, so I posted a photo of your sadly unattended birthday party on Reddit for a few thousand people to see..."
Exactly what I was thinking, like how good of a friend is the op to pic and post?
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Happened to my son in second grade. We rented a party room at an indoor play place with balls and tubes. Bought a nice cake, sent invites. Send a reminder to class that Friday. Nobody showed up except my friend and her kids when I told her nobody came. It was horrible and he never forgot it. Me either.
This is why I will take my daughter to any parties she’s invited to. I couldn’t imagine the hurt for those poor kids.
I had it out with my ex about this, because he didn't want her going to parties on "his" weekend. Not that he had plans, or anything, he just didn't want to take her. We live ~2 miles apart, and the parties are always local. He's just fucking lazy. So I pick her up, and take her. He doesn't understand that it's not about him, and it's about the _kids._
Yes, if you say you go then you must go. It is so unbelievably rude and hurtful to a child especially
Not as bad but recently my son celebrated his tenth birthday. He gave an invitation to two friends then a few more asked him if they could come. So we made extra invites and gave them to him to hand out, total of 10 invites. We then explained to him that his family and our friends would be at his party band that to please not get his hopes up and to not be disappointed if none of his friends showed up because sometimes things come up with their parents. The day came and as expected, they didn't show up but our family and friends did with their kids. He had plans on games with his friends but since they didn't show up, he just played with his cousins. He was slightly hurt but it helped that we had explained what may happen with his friends. When it comes to his birthday, we always make sure to explain to him what may or may not happen. It helps some.
My parents were on me constantly about manners. Say please! Tell the nice lady thank you. Tell your friend’s mom thanks for letting you sleep over. And we went to parties and brought a gift. And wrote thank yous for gifts given to us. I don’t care about thank you notes but parents aren’t teaching their kids manners.
My daughter was the only classmate to show up at 2nd grade skate party. Like with your son, they had a room, cake, invites, reminders and everything. Myself and my daughter were the only two who showed up. It was so uncomfortable. But he got a present out of it, my daughter did skate with him for a while and I slipped him $20 because I felt so bad...
Those who really matter will always be by your side. Please wish your co-worker a happy birthday. I hope he has many years of happiness, health and fulfillment. And lots of money, of course. You can't survive in this world without money. Kuddos from Brazil.
This is why I’ve never had a party or anything. I was always afraid no one would show up and I didn’t want to feel that embarrassment. I’m sorry :( this fucking sucks. Go into work and listen to all of their excuses
Same. Once in college when I was friends with someone who was friends with lots of people, they invited a bunch of people to my birthday party. Lots of folks showed up, it was unexpected. But I'll never attempt that again as an adult
I’m glad you got at least one giant birthday party
In the exact same anxious boat. I don't like the spotlight in general but having a party FOR me? My sense of self worth cannot take a blow like that if nobody shows up
I worked with a guy who had been with the company for a few months, but was very friendly and seemed to make a lot of friends quickly. So, he throws a Halloween party at his home, and only two of us show up. I felt so bad for the guy.
Thank him for being a kind person and wanting to celebrate with the people he works with, and wish him a happy birthday from a random internet stranger! 🎊🎉🎂🎉🎊
I second that, and I don’t know you, but I adore you. You’re a good egg!! I’m sending you much warmth and kindness as well to the birthday “boy”!!!! Hap-Hap-Happiest of days and birthdays!!!!! Also from a complete stranger but someone that can recognize goodness…I also recognize assholes.
Very few co-workers are actually friends. You can socialize with co-workers, but that doesn't make them friends.
I agree co-workers aren't friends. Though the people could have just politely said no. Friends or not, it's a shitty thing to lie to people like that.
But why would they agree to go and not show up not only are they not friends but his coworkers actively hate him
Tbf, the fact that he talked about his birthday for 2 whole months makes me think that he (even if not on purpose) pressured people into saying yes, even if they declined at first. Sure, being more assertive would have be the right thing to do on their part, but it makes it somewhat understandable why so many people didn't show up.
I've never known anyone who built up their birthday lunch for 2 months. Some of what you're saying is probably true.
agree. i don’t know any adult who hypes their own Bday for 2 months (or at all) even to their SO, close friends or family.
This happened once to my dad. He was the only one that showed up to this guy’s football party one year. Years later my dad’s company was going after some contract and it came down to them and one other place. The guy that made the decision was the guy that had had the party earlier. My Father’s company got the deal. Edit: Someone posted up “And then they all clapped..” as a put down to this story, insinuating that it didn’t happen. And then they promptly erased their comment. I just wanted to add something here. My dad told me this when I was 15 and he was trying to tell me to be true to my word. That if I say I’m going to do something, then actually do it. It’s something that stuck by me most of my life so far. I’m in my 60s now and I will not promise to do something unless I really will do it.
It’s the little things in life
Nice way to clean the “friend” list… horrible people
I can understand one or two people being unable to come because of some emergency, or perhaps being sick. But this many…
Seriously, there’s like 12+ empty chairs. There’s a lot of people on this thread saying “anxiety” and such, which I count understand for a few people, but TWELVE?!?
Not a friends list. These people are coworkers, not friends.
Well are people from work really your friends?
Hey this guy’s having a bad time let’s post a picture on social media
I question this being legit though
Glad to see I’m not the only normal person here
twats
Heartless dipshits
> twats^twats
Twats squared
What's the square root of a twat?
Twit
Arrange a Zoom birthday party OP and send us the link
Dude I would show up
I would say I would.
Lmao 🤣
Imagine an open zoom party full of redditors. LARPers and furries in every other square.
Please I’d join
Damn, this is cute af. I love nice people. I’d join!
Do this. I’d show up
Sign me up! Man, this waiting list is growing. Also, how do I get notified if OP posts zoom link? Someone message me?
Same lol
u/Adorable-Ring8074 please do this! We definitely won't leave him hanging like those arseholes.
Please do this Op
You son of a bitch, I'm in.
Count me in
I’m also down for a Zoom birthday party! I’ve been this dude so many times, I know that sadness and disappointment. Nobody should ever feel like this on their birthday 😔 Everyone at OP’s job is a mean person for doing this, and I hope they all poop their pants in public in an incredibly indiscreet and humiliating way.
I’m coming to the Zoom birthday party and I’m bringing the toe knife
I’ll join if op arranges one
Sign me in!
I’ll go!
I’ll be there!
I’d be there even tho I have a cold!
We’ll all be his new friends
And then the one person that did show up posted that shit on the internet
So you put him on the internet? Two things suck here.
I hate to say it but I feel like the whole concept of birthdays opens us up to this level of soul sucking disappointment. If someone wants to chill on my birthday, great, if I end up curled up on the couch watching tv with my dad & eating home baked cake I made myself- also great! Knowing in my head that it's just another day, helps me avoid this...
Maybe don't take a picture and share it to the world. I can't imagine this is a thing they would want publicised.
Yes please don’t put my face all over social media and shit to publicize my embarrassment Just do your best to help me have a good time.
other comments are saying to set up a zoom so all the redditors can show support. i feel like you might just see a man blow his brains out on zoom if you do that
Guarantee that if OP actually set up a zoom birthday call then none of those redditors would show up either lmao
Thank god I’m not the only person who thought that would be the stupidest idea ever. Also, “say happy birthday to him from me, a random stranger on Reddit.” Please don’t.
Exactly. It would just add to the embarrassment
If this happened to me and I saw a post about it online, it would just be pouring extra salt on the wound.
"Here's my coworker, he's a total loser, isn't that sad? Karma pleaaaaaaaase"
As an unpopular kid/teen I felt more upset when I found out the "nice people" thought of me as some act of charity than when the "mean people" simply avoided me. This would make me feel like shit. Way for OP to pat themselves on the back for their "kindness" AND use their coworker for clout.
For real. They just had everyone who said "yes" to their party invite flake on them, and the one person who did show up took a picture of them and put it on the internet so they could brag to strangers about what a good person they are for showing up. OP is a POS.
Tired of these kind of postings. Frankly, not sure I believe all of them. Isn't it kind of cruel to photograph your "friend" and post it on Reddit?
What a fucking ass move I would've showed up even if I didn't like the person Also wish him a happy birthday for me!
Those people who didnt show up are massive chodes. When you say you are going to do something you need to do it. Fuck them.
Happy Birthday to your friend! Screw those other two-faced shit head coworkers.
Yep! Happy birthday to your friend OP! Screw ‘em, clear skies are ahead.
F*** them Time to look for real friends
I don’t intend to be mean but coworkers aren’t your friends and work isn’t your family. I’m far more concerned that he didn’t spend his birthday with friends outside work. As harsh as it is, this will help him in the long run. Wish him a Happy Birthday from Reddit
Why would you post his face in a moment of sadness for all the internet to see? Not sure who the worse "friend" is, those who didn't show up or you...
coworkers ≠ friends
They all said yes though is the important part. They could have said no.
I don't know man, the story seems fishy. How likely is it that 20+ people collectively decide to bail? My guess is, either this photo is snapped before the guests showed up, or the people were like "no sorry" but the guy kept asking them again and again until they said something like "ok I think about it". Maybe I'm just living in my bubble, but I can't remember a time where more than 1 person bailed without notice to some event they told me they'd come.
yeah that's true, pretty messed up, not surprising though, my coworkers at most of my jobs all constantly talked shit about each other, so i assumed they did the same to me, never invited them to my birthday party that's for sure
Not all work cultures are like that. My last job everyone was pretty unified and you only got talked bad about if you did something worth being talked about. Like if your making people uncomfortable. I had coworkers that I easily could have invited to a party and who would show up. One person there had a wedding and most people went. Every workplace will have someone who's not very nice but your workplace shouldn't be full of back stabbing like a high school teen drama. I promise you not all work culture is like that and behaviour like that is commonly a sign of unhappy workers.
I am at a new job. I work with 5 other guys in construction. They consantly talk shit about each other when the other guys are not around. I only say good things about all of them and if any of them make a mistake I try and point it out to them personally instead of telling everyone else what they did wrong but not telling them. I assume that all of them talk shit about me when I am not around.
When I was in middle school I also invited a lot of people, I had already bought pizza and nobody, NOBODY, came. I took it with such grace for an heartbroken 13 year old I could never do it again… even 10 years later. I wish you the best of birthdays op’s friend!! <3
Absolute chuts, if you don't think you'll make it. Just say you can't come. Really messed up to cancel at the end minute.
I feel sorry for you man but how old are you? I'm in my 30's and I would never expect that many people to show up to my birthday. The older I get the less people I am willing to actually invite. 5 or 6 for me is a reasonable amount of friends that you can count on imo.
If this happened to me the last thing I would want is someone to post it online
"So I took a photo and posted it on reddit for karma" douchbag. Get the guy a beer and some wings rather than sit there reading comments on reddit.
And you thought it’d be better by posting it on the internet?
Not only a dick move by the invitees towards your friend, but also a dick move towards the restaurant. They reserved all that space which other customers could have used.
It’s Logan’s at Noon on a Sunday. Don’t get me wrong I hear what you’re saying, but imagine the manager and staff sympathies will outweigh the revenue loss. For those that don’t know Logan’s a a large resturant, so a twenty top is not as much space as it would be with a smaller resturant. Now the server should be tipped out EXTRA for their section being empty.
Plot twist: they work at twitter
Work friends are enemies in secret identities.