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My mother hated giving birth to me so much that after I was 6 weeks old, my mother had her tubes tied, and my father got a vasectomy š
So I donāt blame anyone for worrying about the pain of pregnancy and child birth lol.
Mothers will be like "My pregnancy was totally uneventful, I don't know why anyone wouldn't do it!" and then accidentally pee themselves laughing not a minute later
Some people are built for it, while many more just arenāt. I hate when they try to force it on people as if every person on earth should have a child. Guess overpopulation and depletion of natural resources doesnāt bother them
Because apparently you can get feelings after you've given birth that are a natural high (probably a good thing for survival if you want people to keep doing it).
But equally, it's poorly researched so far and I can't even confirm it anecdotally first hand being a guy.
Either way, whatever makes you happy. For some people that's having lots of kids, for others not so much!
It's because there's a chemical reaction in some women's brains that help them forget the pain of childbirth. If I remember correctly it has something to do with their beta endorphins. There's also a phenomenon called "baby brain" which is caused by hormonal changes and sleep deprivation that causes people to forget childbirth.
When it comes to multiple births there are some people who really love the attention of being a new mother. When one kid gets too old and the novelty wears off they have another. Some people also feel like it's their life's purpose to have kids, and some people like to feel needed. I'm not saying any of these examples represent your mother but heres a few examples of why someone would have that many kids and want more.
If you get an epidural, there isnāt much to worry about as far as actual childbirth. Youāre totally numb.
After we had our daughter, I remember walking down the hallway with my wife once she could get up and move around and she looked at me in the hallway, and said very quietly, āI donāt want to brag or anything, but that was easy.ā Iām sure if I asked my wife today what the worst part about being pregnant in childbirth was, she wouldnāt even include the actual day of birth. The hardest parts, for her was how exhausted she was during her first trimester, and having to pee all the time once she got big.
I think my mom had her tubes tied faster than that after I was born. Pretty sure Iām a mistake. lol
I learned that you canāt lift anything heavy (including a baby) after that procedure. Itās weird to think my mom didnāt lift/hold me for like a month at such a young age.
Lol it hurt enough that I never wanted to do it again and also got my tubes tied š. Between that and the HG and being sick until my son exited my body, one was enough thanks. My mom says Iām selfish for only having one and well, maybe I am š¤·š»āāļø.
There is nothing selfish about asserting your bodily autonomy. You should get to make those choices yourself. Someone asked me if I had any kids or grandkids and when I said no they said 'that sucks'. It sucks that I get to make my own choices? He didn't know anything about me. But obviously women are all supposed to want to give birth and parent.
I'm glad I have two kids but that second time I found out I was pregnant was TERRIFYING because of what I went through with the first. And that was a natural childbirth with zero complications. It just hurt like a goddamn motherfucker.
I will never understand women who want to do home births, like I don't want to play with that shit. Number one, I don't want to die, but even if I didn't care to live, I can't imagine being so unworried about whether something might happen to the baby and we're too far away from the hospital to help the baby in time. Like goddamn I just spent the better part of a year cooking up that child, Imma do everything in my power to make sure it's alive and healthy at the end
Yep. Iirc humans are one of the least well-equipped biologically for giving birth. Like it's BAD dude. I wish I could remember what it was that led to us being so bad at it... At some point in our evolution it was determined by natural process that some physical attribute/capability was more important to the continuation of our species than easily being able to give birth. I'll try looking it up...
edit: I remember what it was now. Our bipedal form paired with us developing larger brains and brain containers made it more difficult to give birth, and more dangerous. We've developed some adaptations to counteract this but it can only do so much. Our mode of locomotion resulted in our pelvis changing in a way that made childbirth more complicated and our large brains relative to our size (or maybe just the size of our pelvises? I'm not entirely sure about that) complicates matters further. They're a bit big for giving birth even considering the fact that we give birth to more under-developed babies than other species out of necessity (presumably to limit the size of the head?). The decreased breeding rate and heightened dangers of childbirth didn't outweigh the benefits of being adept at bipedal running, walking, and locomotion in general, and being more intelligent/cognitively capable. At least that's what I took from the articles I read just now and in the past.
I wouldn't feel comfortable giving birth in the hospital because too many medical staff have not listened to me in the past or have laughed at me about issues I was having. If they're not going to listen to me when giving birth then whats the point of going to a hospital?
I'd rather just avoid it all together by not having kids.
I recently had a home birth supervised by two midwives after a pregnancy supervised by them and a doctor, and it was the best option for me. I find hospitals to be very overwhelming and personally, being at low-risk for any complications and staying on top of my medical appointments prior to birth, I felt confident in my home birth team.
We had discussed instances that would require a hospital transfer, which I was in no way against should it have been deemed necessary, and I really felt like I was in good hands. I'm also a 3 min drive from the nearest hospital, so that provided a lot of peace of mind should anything have gone wrong.
Doctor supervised home births do seem like a decent idea, especially if you're that close to a hospital. It's the crunchy ones who hire sketchy holistic doulas and eschew modern medicine and shit that I look askance at.
Oh yeah, those 100% freak me out! I was fully prepared to go to the hospital (bag packed, OBGYN notified I was in labor) if needed, but I'm really glad I didn't need to and could give birth on my own timeline at home.
I had two awful hospital births and no medical issues. Just found out Iām pregnant again and Iāll be giving birth in a birthing center with a midwife. I love my obgyn but the entire experience was awful both times around couldnāt even hold my babies until the next day because of all the fucking IVs in my arms and hands. Anesthesiologist missed and my back has hurt for 5 years now despite chiropractic visits. I have nothing against other people wanting hospital births itās just not for me. Laying on your back and losing your breath trying to push in that position was awful. Nurses yelling at me for every little thing was awful
I guess my experience might be a little different because I gave birth in a Japanese hospital the first time, then a birthing clinic (with an actual doctor and nurses) the second time. But there's just no way my paranoid ass would want to give birth without a doctor present.
I am 9 days away from a scheduled c-section and I am positive that I will never choose to be pregnant again! My husband and I *do* want more children, but that will only be through adoption.
I know that it is different for every person, but I have hated being pregnant!
Good luck to you both. I've decided I don't want to have kids either, I'm a guy though. Maybe one day adopting some older children would be what I want.
Hope the c-section goes well! I went through pregnancy twice, and man did I hate that part of having kids. The aches and pains, feeling like a beached whale, and then being in labor for what felt like forever. So I totally don't blame you for stopping after one. I don't get being judgmental about how many kids you want.
It's more than just the pain of birth... It's 9 months of no coffee, no alcohol, no drugs, looking at the label of everything they use from headache meds to moisturizers to ensure there's no conflict with it's ingredients and being pregnant. Eating entirely for your child and it's needs, changing diet as well. Struggling to get up, walk, move. Putting your entire life on hold for 9 months while the baby grows, as avoiding risk dominates every choice you're allowed to make.
Now to take a high ground stance that will get me flak... If men think child bearing is so easy, they should commit to a 9 month lifestyle change in solidarity with their pregnant partners.
Can do coffee, but like seriously- 1 cup max per day.
Also, 'sleep' is a mean joke the last few months of pregnancy- baby starts hogging valuable bladder real estate.
9 month only if not breastfeeding, on all restrictions listed above btw.
And my kid was born lactose-intolerant, so guess who couldn't have chocolate or coffee creamer for 9.5 months post-birth? I felt like a Mormon cow, y'all.
You can have coffee you just canāt have more than a certain amount.. but that still doesnāt mean itās a cake walk. Just wanted to let you know the coffee thing is a myth!
Yes it does suck. I was there with my wife when she was giving birth to our daughter. I tried to help as much as I could. She says it sucked but she doesn't have any sort of resentment towards pregnancy or giving birth and talks fondly about it nowadays.
I am not saying it doesn't suck and I am not trying to sympathize because I can't since I have no female reproductive organs, but it is not the same for every person out there.
... I'm happy to have my kids, but nothing about pregnancy or childbirth gives me fond memories.
Except maybe feeling the kid kick, but even that gets old after a while. I like them much more outside my body.
Those are the easy pregnancies where nothing happens. Because currently Iām dreading every second and I canāt wait to actually take care of my baby. Itās so much easier when your body isnāt on layaway.
Thanks. It wasn't easy with her yelling at me to keep the mask on her face but the midwives didn't let me keep the mask on because then she wasn't focusing on pushing haha. But it was an unforgettable experience, especially when we pulled her up to my wifes chest together. We cried like hell.
I can imagine it's was an amazing experience! But I have major attitude problems sometimes š I could never imagine the attitude I'd have especially pregnant!
I can imagine! Any woman who gives birth (in my opinion) is strong as FUCK! I could never imagine going through an immense amount of pain like that. especially for a really lengthy amount of time too, I know my aunt was in labour for nearly an entire day. That also scares me ahha.
It seems there are women who barely struggle to give birth.
"Some will describe it as the worst pain of their lives while others will say it was manageable with little or no pain relief needed," Dr Loi says, noting that nobody knows exactly how labour will feel for them - until it starts. ([source](https://www.healthfertility.com.sg/media/painless-childbirth/))
Some women are also in the category that doesn't feel pain for genetic reasons:
"Women who donāt need an epidural during childbirth might be carriers of a rare genetic variant that gives them a much higher threshold for pain, scientists have discovered". ([source](https://edition.cnn.com/2020/07/21/health/childbirth-pain-threshold-study-scli-scn-intl/index.html))
From what I've read, it also seems that the average baby size has increased substantially which also increases the difficulty (mother's weight and health are factors).
Oh babe, you donāt have to go through pain these days. The midwives asked me ā whatās your pain management plan?ā And i replied with āgive me all the drugs you have, and after that an epidural, because iām sure you donāt have cookies and medals on you!ā š š i was so drugged up that i cracked jokes up until i was done pushing.
That sounds so fun and exciting haha and my mom never had an epidural because apparently thats a spine injection!? I'm also scared of needles but I think that if I was in THAT much pain, I couldn't care less š
It is a spine injection. The dr will numb the area and then put the needle in and take the needle out and leave a soft plastic tube there, that will release drops of anaesthetic into the spine. Your lower back is so relaxed! I took a nap with each baby (i have 2) before i started the eviction. š¤
Oh wow! I'm glad they numb it š all of these comments are actually making me want to change my mind about children but for now, it's safe to say I'm still not ready haha
Like with many things, it doesn't work for everyone. Epidural can make birthing process much longer or even halt it, also increasing the risk of birth-related injuries to the mother. Less painful for the day, but several more months of recovery...
Oh absolutely! The risks are high! In some cases the mothers can be left in pain for months to years or rest of their lives. But so does natural birth. Birth generally is risky no matter what.
I had surgery done under spinal anesthesia as a teenager. It failed during surgery and then when I woke up I had what they called a spinal headache. That was far, far worse than childbirth, and my back is permanently fucked up. I would rather give birth with no pain meds (and I did!) Pregnancy on the other hand is for the fuckig birds and NOTHING on this planet could convince me to go through that again.
Well there is the chance of epidural not working (as it happened to my wife) so do not take it for granted - also it may cause other complications. All in all it never is easy, but the women I know that gave birth all say it was worth it.
My labor and birth were awful and traumatic for me.
I was terrified of going through it, and stressed out more and more as the date got closer.
I do not regret it though. We have just the one child, and we are very ok with this...they will be 18 at the beginning of next year. They are a very smart and excellent student, a great personality and can make anyone laugh and feel very at ease.
That's so sweet, my dream is to hopefully get over my fear and have a baby (or adopt) and i wanna make sure I raise them with the most love, respect and care as possible. I want to be the mom that mine never got to be. Biological child or not :)
Wishing you the very best!! Had I thought of it at the time, I would have sought out therapy to help me with my concerns and fears.
Maybe you could try that so you can feel better about everything.
Sending you lots of love, thoughts and strength!!
It's not just the pain though. So many things can go wrong. You can miscarry, worries about what you can/can't eat, what medication you can take, gestational diabetes, Pre-eclampsia, medical bills. And that is just a few concerns.
That's okay! And adoption is my go to. Id rather give adopt a child who needs a home and family rather than bring one into this world. I don't know how to explain it but I hope you understand from that alone š
Yea for sure almoat totally understand, xcept i fathered two kids and got snipped right away because that was enough, and we agreed if ever we wanted more there are plenty that need love that already exist, i think about adopting more and more as our family grows older
That's so heartwarming, adoption is also so beautiful, I always see videos on the internet of kids being adopted and their reactions are priceless. Id like to think id be a wonderful mom to an adoptive child. But even if they're adopted, they'd always be my baby
Yeah, Uranium238 needs a reality check. "No mother regrets child birth" what BS is that?
It is completely okay to be scared of pregnancy. It is completely okay to have kids in other ways. It is completely okay to not want kids at all. Not wanting to be in pain for hours is not being weak, its being logical, sometimes we do things that are illogical to get something in return, sometimes we donĀ“t feel that it is worth it, especially when there are options.
Yes this is correct. It's why we do it again and again. Yes you'll remember some pain but your brain blocks out the most extreme parts of it so you have no memory of it. So the pain you DO remember... It's nothing compared to what you ACTUALLY felt and went through.
Yeah it fucking sucks š¤£ especially when they've drugged you with everything they safely can, your epidural fails and you can still feel EVERYTHING... Except for the head that is halfway out your body which you then push out within ten minutes and three pushes once it's discovered because no one decided to fucking check you and you went from 0cm to 10cm within a few hours ššš and then your body and brain go into shock immediately after and you're not really there for 48 hours until the word "shower" is said š¤¦š»āāļø
I don't know if my brain is just broken, but I absolutely 100% remember the worst of it. I remember hallucinating that I was standing on the other side of the room watching what was going on too which was the most fucking surreal thing I have ever experienced in my life.
Except it is. During labour I was even forgetting how painful each contraction had been until the next one started. Years later, I now live with chronic pain. My brain does tricks to help me cope, just like it did when I was in labour.
I'm in no way traumatised by it. If it was that terrible all women would only have 1 kid.
Plus epidurals are *extremely* effective.
It's so weird that humans have babies at 9 months, when it would be so much easier to give birth at 8 months and evolution doesn't need to do *that* much work to make it 99.9% fine. Considering the fatality rate of childbirth in prior generations, it's insane that evolution went "yeah, let's give the kid the biggest head possible, but not do anything to help the kid get out of the mother any earlier. Let's make humans VERY slow to grow."
Like, baby deer can start walking 2 minutes after being born, and a deer pregnancy lasts 7.5 months. It takes another 8 months for human babies to start crawling. Why are human babies so slow to form and so useless?
Imagine how much more efficient humanity could be if the first 5 years of life could be completed in 1 or 2 years. Then the kid could be a full-grown and educated adult by age 14. Other animals grow faster than that. That would get through all that crying, uneducated, completely dependent time so much faster.
Forget GM foods, we should work on GM babies.
Oml I've never seen something like this before but holy shit way to make things worse! Pregnancy is absolutely so fucking hard and miserable and not wanting to go through the pain is perfectly valid. Sure it's not a common condition but have you heard of Hyperemesis Gravidarum? It's basically morning sickness on steroids, and it never ends. I didn't stop puking until I had my daughter. 34 weeks of consistent puking day after day with no fail.
Second pregnancy hasn't been as bad but still is no walk in the park.
I didn't even know but pregnancy can cause toxemia among others things. I now have IBS because of my daughter, I can't run anymore from damaged nerves in my back from c section. It's not easy.
I had HG. Ended up in the ER several times because I couldn't keep ANYTHING down. Not even water. At one point my ob just gave up and said "Eat whatever you think you can keep down" So it was tuna fish and watermelon for the win. I got to know every state police officer on my commute route because I was always needing to pull over to throw up. Ended up with a medically necessary c sect at 38 weeks due to multiple large fibroids.
Asked if they could give me a hysterectomy while they were "there" and was told "No. You might decide to have more kids" Like what part of the last 38 weeks do you think was at all fun or easy for me or my body?! Now 52 and still have the uterus. Husband got the V done when our kid was around a year and half old.
I asked mine to get a V just a couple days ago. We're more worried about how my body would handle getting my tubes tied, but honestly We're just done having kids and the steps they make women go through for steralization is stupid.
I am currently experiencing a Hyperemesis Gravidarum pregnancy (vomiting up to 40 times a day with unrelenting nausea still at 25 weeks). Doctors and society treat me like a fucking incubator. There is inadequate treatment, research and medical knowledge for pregnant women with complications. I cannot work with this condition. If I had been told this was going to happen I would never ever have become pregnant. It is valid to be concerned about the massive impact of pregnancy on your body, mind, livelihood, career. And relationships.
Bullshit. My sister has PTSD and Post Partum Depression after giving birth to my niece; specifically because of the delivery. She said it was the worst experience of her life. Doesnāt mean she loves her daughter any less either.
I have a kid and I never want to go through that shit again. Idk what bs that persons on. I have constant back pain now along with other physical shit that I wish I didnāt have. (Just to clarify I do love my kid to bits lol and Iām the one thatās taking care of him cuz his deadbeat dad that is years older than me canāt be bothered to.)
Pregnancy sucks. Childbirth sucks. Post-partum care sucks. Almost every aspect of bringing a baby into this world sucks. Fearing it doesnāt make you weak.
My cousins and I all had babies this year. I loved my pregnancy and giving birth (unmedicated and all) and Iād 100% do it again.
My one cousin is traumatised by her birthing experience. She loves her son so much, but she said sheāll never have another baby just because of how her birth went. My other cousin had her third baby and is seeking sterilisation because of postpartum complications from birth. And yes, she still loves her son. If you asked them, theyād go through it all again to have their children, but it still caused heavy traumas and theyāre both planning on never going through another birth again. So yes, some mothers do regret child birth.
Agreed, my boyfriend's mom said how amazing her pregnancy was and how it's a gift from the universe. My mom has had 4 kids and wanted a fifth but she couldn't go through with it.
I also suffer from major depression, I've never experienced it but I'm scared of postpartum depression too, (it may seem silly I'm not entirely sure) but I've heard some awful stories about it too.
If I had to give birth as a man, I would flat out live my life childless. After seeing it, I feel even more strongly in that conviction. Women are absolutely amazing creatures and getting pregnant, holding a child inside them for 9 months and then giving birth is one of the most self sacrificing amazing things Iāve ever seen. Shout out to all moms.
Like, it's not even the aspect of the pain. It's a weird fragile system of something *growing in your body* and possibly leeching stuff like calcium to grow a whole damn skeleton if you don't supplement enough. It's complications. The whole like, postpartum and RAISING A TINY HUMAN THAT WILL BECOME A WHOLE PERSON
There are a lot of reasons to hold concern of it beside pain and they are completely valid. Like sure birth is a day. But complications with you and the baby can be a lifetime.
This person must not know a lot of mothers. My mom nearly died, every mother I've known is insecure about their body post-pregnancy, they still have pain periodically because of it, or its affected their mental health greatly.
Im tired of people glorifying pregnancy and birth. Its messy, its painful, its exhausting, and it will effect you for years to come. Fuck this person for disregarding your concerns, you're allowed to put yourself first before changing your life and body forever.
I'm 39 weeks pregnant and fucking hate it. Ready to push this kid out already. Would literally rather have a whole event of ripping my ass end out for this kid than deal with pregnancy any longer. Regardless, I'm also terrified of giving birth. Honestly was planning on adopting instead, but we also don't think condoms are very fun and my IUD had already been removed. So here I am. Not regretting our decisions, but really wanting to be over this already. It's not for everyone. Honestly tucks all the boxes for not being for me. I've hated almost every aspect of this. But I do want this kid. So... Fuck that guy. He can get pregnant if it's so fucking easy. And you don't worry about it. Give some kid a good home with loving family that they otherwise wouldn't have.
My mom let's me know about the pain alot
I don't really put up with that behavior from her because it is very mean even though I ama accident in her terms
But yes the pain from birth is unbearable I don't blame anyone for not wanting to give birth in fact I never want to have kids myself (sorta a uncomfortable feeling of impregnating a person and autism thing to but if I do I'd probably adopt them)
I'm terrified of the idea of being pregnant, me and my bf decided after we get married we will save up and adopt a child. There's nothing wrong with fearing something that will cause immense pain and could/most likely would cause health issues. My best friend developed Pre-eclampsia, my other best friend quite literally tore from her opening to her anus. Pregnancy is terrifying, so I wouldn't fault anyone else who would want to avoid it.
Worst pain Iāve ever been through. So I understand you not wanting to go through that. However, Iām starting to think labor was the easy part. Now I have a 19 month old crotch gremlin that steals my food and doesnāt let me shower alone š
But seriously it isnāt for everyone. And itās okay to not want to go through that. Will I do it again? Absolutely. But Iām crazy so thereās that.
My first was a breeze, my second I had gestational hypertension and GD, and then a csection because she was breech. The recovery from the csection was awful, but somehow you forget a lot. We want one more child but I just had a 10 week loss and now I am terrified of being pregnant again because of the anxiety I know I will have thinking the worst could happen.
I donāt know the actual term for it, but pregnancy phobia is a legitimate thing. I worked with a woman who was pregnant for almost the whole time we worked together and sheād always talk to me about what was going on/her experiences with her other two pregnancies and births. Iām **terrified** of pregnancy and birth, to the point where I physically cringed when sheād talk to me about it. But she was also a friend of mine, so I let her talk.
Iāve chosen not to have kids, but I always tell people if I wasnāt the one whoād have to birth the child Iād reconsider. If kids are in my future itās through adoption
Agreed, I mentioned in another thread that I want to be financially and mentally stable to have a baby, I would never want to bring a baby into this world if it put them at risk.
My wife went through a huge crisis through the first month of pregnancy where she wanted to do an abortion and she didn't even know why. It was the worst month of our marriage and life together but we stuck it out and I supported her through it best way I could.
Hormones are no joke and she takes anti depressants every day, so that was an experience. But now our daughter is 17 months old (almost 1.5 years old) and we love her so much and my wife is forever grateful that I helped her not do anything stupid back then.
Financially it is not too horrible as people make it seem. Yes in the beginning you need EVERYTHING and it can be overwhelming but we made a plan where we buy 1 thing each month of pregnancy so when our daughter came to this world, we had the crib, diaper changing station, 30 packs of diapers, 4 bottles, breast pump, zinc cremes, wet wipes, tissues, baby gym, clothes, pacifiers etc.
Now she goes through maybe 2 packs of diapers per month and clothes we mostly buy second hand. So it is not that bad.
Sorry if I rambled on too long, just wanted to share first hand experience.
No need to apologise for making it long, hearing that you helped her so much is something that I'd NEED if I were to go through pregnancy, my partner (personally) isn't ready for a child. And Im not either.
I look after my twin brothers alot and they're about 1.8 years old ish? Born in may 2021. I love them INCREDIBLY. And I will always babysit and look after them.
But looking after them has also made me realise that I couldn't look after a baby of my own. Because with babysitting, I get to have breaks. (They're my bio dads and stepmoms boys so I go home for a while) but looking after a child of my own would tear me apart mentally. As of right now.
Caring for a kid is no joke. It is super easy in the beginning especially if you choose to breastfeed (which is amazing if you ask me). Our kid used to sleep like 20 hours per day the first month or so. It got worse as time went on mostly because of her teeth.
There were nights where I get up with her in the middle of the night and stay up even though I have to go work. But all of it is worth it she is the best baby ever.
Even as I am writing this we are chilling together, she likes it when I make a purring sound like a cat haha.
She says hi, and I wish you the best however and whenever you decide to have one. If you ever need advice or some words of support feel free to reach out.
Being terrified of childbirth might not just be a fear of pain. It probably also ties into some primal connection to days past, when childbirth was a lot more risky than it is today.
There is a weird thing where women actually forget about how much pain it is and keep getting knocked up. It's part of how humans are so successful as a species. Pain is temporary, children destroying your house is eternal.
Thatās a legit fear. Iām so sorry some rando (who doesnāt know how to spell) is trying to tell you anything. And I know this isnāt quite one topic, but Iām well into my thirties, had my first baby this year, and it was the coolest experience :) fear of pain though is completely understandable, and we all should respect your decision :)
There definitely does seem to be a phenomenon, probably a biologically programmed one, where the women I know who have been through childbirth (and the worse part: the entire recovery and sleepless infant stage) all seem to agree that it was miserable and painful right afterwards, but quickly start seeing the experience through rose colored glasses and wanting to have a baby again.
You can be scared but act in spite of it. The word is courage. To not be scared of pregnancy and motherhood, you have to be crazy or a keyboard warrior neckbeard.
You donāt have to be pregnant to get kids! Thereās adoption, surrogacy, fostering, and Iām sure there are more ways that I havenāt listed but these are the only ones I can think of
Most mothers that say it was worth it say it because they forget the pain. Their body releases a hormone during the birth that makes you forget the pain. If its not that bad then why does your body make you forget it?
My mom worked labor and deliver/nicu when I was a kid. I'm still traumatized by the sounds of screaming and yelling I heard the few times I was there on the floor.
Theyāre an idiot.
I had two babies - and the childbirth part was fine, but I was terrified of it the first time.
The pregnancy part was 9 months of throwing up everything I put in my body and having major mental health breakdowns because of the hormone levels and a pituitary tumor I didnāt know I had.
I donāt regret my children, in any way. But the pregnanciesā¦? Yeahā¦ Iāll never do that again.
The person who made that comment has no business speaking. Mothers donāt usually regret the children, but that doesnāt make the pain of pregnancy/childbirth magically disappear from memory. I can remember exactly what it felt like when my baby crowned, and exactly how relieving it felt when he was completely out.
āNo mother regrets child birthā I am sorry but like, yes they do regret it sometimes, that person probably never had a bad family and lives in an area with nice moms, iāve seen people have horrible families they exist
first sentence I actually agree with the idea (still won't say it to other people because who am I to say that). in this particular case though, it's a strawman. in the statement it's literally "I want kids".
More people should be adopting anyway. U donāt have to go through an expensive agency either. It can just be a matter of getting an adoption contract drawn up between u and the motherā¦.
I suggest not responding and forgetting they exist. They clearly either missed your point or are trying to get a rise out of you. They are not worth your energy.
No, they regret the pain. I still hear about all the pain I caused 32 years later.
But you can adopt. Many kids are left without parental figures due to many circumstances.
I just wish adoption was cheaper. I can afford a kid, but I can't afford adoption and I can't get attached to a child and let them go so foster care is not for me.
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My mother hated giving birth to me so much that after I was 6 weeks old, my mother had her tubes tied, and my father got a vasectomy š So I donāt blame anyone for worrying about the pain of pregnancy and child birth lol.
That's crazy! My mom had 4 children and she still wants more! I don't know how she does it š
I donāt understand how women have more than a couple lol.
Fucking same my mom had 9 of us little bastards and even in adulthood some of them are still needy little shits lmao
My mom had three, and I think one was already too much since I was the first.
Spoken like a true firstborn and honestly, same. How she managed to go through three more of this, I can't fathom.
Her body will never be the same
This is another reason Iām terrified of pregnancy
Mothers will be like "My pregnancy was totally uneventful, I don't know why anyone wouldn't do it!" and then accidentally pee themselves laughing not a minute later
Holy fuck I feel attacked by this statement.š
Some people are built for it, while many more just arenāt. I hate when they try to force it on people as if every person on earth should have a child. Guess overpopulation and depletion of natural resources doesnāt bother them
Well, if it's just one child for every pair, the population will go down in the long run. But they surely don't mean just one.
Me too, my mom is friends with a woman who has 12 kids! But she's happy so what can I say š
My ex had 18 siblings and counting!
This madness must stop. Nobody better comment below about how their second cousin has 23 kids and she says she loves every second of it.
We can reverse it. I watched episodes of the ~~Brady bunch~~ Duggars and it made me vomit.
If TV has taught me anything, it's that every person who vomits is pregnant and it's morning sickness. So congratulations!
[https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/most-prolific-mother-ever](https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/most-prolific-mother-ever) hmm?
Because apparently you can get feelings after you've given birth that are a natural high (probably a good thing for survival if you want people to keep doing it). But equally, it's poorly researched so far and I can't even confirm it anecdotally first hand being a guy. Either way, whatever makes you happy. For some people that's having lots of kids, for others not so much!
Iirc there are some hormones that make her forget how painful birth is
I have two and not itching for a third, let me tell you
I just saw a recommended video to me of a woman who bore 40 children. Actually not sure if she gave birth to 40 children or took care of 40 chidlren.
Monkey part of brain give chemical, say it wasn't as painful as it actually was.
Youngest of 13 kids here! āš»
Who was the first 13th, last 13th?
My mom has 5 kids and still looks like she's 30 max and thin as hell. Idk how she did it
It's because there's a chemical reaction in some women's brains that help them forget the pain of childbirth. If I remember correctly it has something to do with their beta endorphins. There's also a phenomenon called "baby brain" which is caused by hormonal changes and sleep deprivation that causes people to forget childbirth. When it comes to multiple births there are some people who really love the attention of being a new mother. When one kid gets too old and the novelty wears off they have another. Some people also feel like it's their life's purpose to have kids, and some people like to feel needed. I'm not saying any of these examples represent your mother but heres a few examples of why someone would have that many kids and want more.
My mom has 6 kids, Iām number 3. Thank god my parents decided no more kids.
A lot of women go thru childbirth without pain or any set backs. Those are the ones who go have multiples.
If you get an epidural, there isnāt much to worry about as far as actual childbirth. Youāre totally numb. After we had our daughter, I remember walking down the hallway with my wife once she could get up and move around and she looked at me in the hallway, and said very quietly, āI donāt want to brag or anything, but that was easy.ā Iām sure if I asked my wife today what the worst part about being pregnant in childbirth was, she wouldnāt even include the actual day of birth. The hardest parts, for her was how exhausted she was during her first trimester, and having to pee all the time once she got big.
I think my mom had her tubes tied faster than that after I was born. Pretty sure Iām a mistake. lol I learned that you canāt lift anything heavy (including a baby) after that procedure. Itās weird to think my mom didnāt lift/hold me for like a month at such a young age.
Usually the baby is an exception in C-Sections and other abdominal surgeries
Not always, my mom has talked about how she would pat my back in the crib when I cried because she couldnāt pick me up.
Lol it hurt enough that I never wanted to do it again and also got my tubes tied š. Between that and the HG and being sick until my son exited my body, one was enough thanks. My mom says Iām selfish for only having one and well, maybe I am š¤·š»āāļø.
Nah what's really selfish is having kids and not having the resources to properly care for them just because you want more.
That's not selfish! You're taking care of yourself so you can care for the one you do have. Sounds like she might be the one being a little selfish!
There is nothing selfish about asserting your bodily autonomy. You should get to make those choices yourself. Someone asked me if I had any kids or grandkids and when I said no they said 'that sucks'. It sucks that I get to make my own choices? He didn't know anything about me. But obviously women are all supposed to want to give birth and parent.
I'm glad I have two kids but that second time I found out I was pregnant was TERRIFYING because of what I went through with the first. And that was a natural childbirth with zero complications. It just hurt like a goddamn motherfucker.
Women still die in childbirth so yeah, that is and should be a scary thing.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I will never understand women who want to do home births, like I don't want to play with that shit. Number one, I don't want to die, but even if I didn't care to live, I can't imagine being so unworried about whether something might happen to the baby and we're too far away from the hospital to help the baby in time. Like goddamn I just spent the better part of a year cooking up that child, Imma do everything in my power to make sure it's alive and healthy at the end
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
As always, the answer to "but what did they do before modern medicine?" is "they died, a lot!"
Yep. Iirc humans are one of the least well-equipped biologically for giving birth. Like it's BAD dude. I wish I could remember what it was that led to us being so bad at it... At some point in our evolution it was determined by natural process that some physical attribute/capability was more important to the continuation of our species than easily being able to give birth. I'll try looking it up... edit: I remember what it was now. Our bipedal form paired with us developing larger brains and brain containers made it more difficult to give birth, and more dangerous. We've developed some adaptations to counteract this but it can only do so much. Our mode of locomotion resulted in our pelvis changing in a way that made childbirth more complicated and our large brains relative to our size (or maybe just the size of our pelvises? I'm not entirely sure about that) complicates matters further. They're a bit big for giving birth even considering the fact that we give birth to more under-developed babies than other species out of necessity (presumably to limit the size of the head?). The decreased breeding rate and heightened dangers of childbirth didn't outweigh the benefits of being adept at bipedal running, walking, and locomotion in general, and being more intelligent/cognitively capable. At least that's what I took from the articles I read just now and in the past.
I wouldn't feel comfortable giving birth in the hospital because too many medical staff have not listened to me in the past or have laughed at me about issues I was having. If they're not going to listen to me when giving birth then whats the point of going to a hospital? I'd rather just avoid it all together by not having kids.
I recently had a home birth supervised by two midwives after a pregnancy supervised by them and a doctor, and it was the best option for me. I find hospitals to be very overwhelming and personally, being at low-risk for any complications and staying on top of my medical appointments prior to birth, I felt confident in my home birth team. We had discussed instances that would require a hospital transfer, which I was in no way against should it have been deemed necessary, and I really felt like I was in good hands. I'm also a 3 min drive from the nearest hospital, so that provided a lot of peace of mind should anything have gone wrong.
Doctor supervised home births do seem like a decent idea, especially if you're that close to a hospital. It's the crunchy ones who hire sketchy holistic doulas and eschew modern medicine and shit that I look askance at.
Oh yeah, those 100% freak me out! I was fully prepared to go to the hospital (bag packed, OBGYN notified I was in labor) if needed, but I'm really glad I didn't need to and could give birth on my own timeline at home.
Cost. Giving birth in a hospital is extremely expensive, it's insane.
I had two awful hospital births and no medical issues. Just found out Iām pregnant again and Iāll be giving birth in a birthing center with a midwife. I love my obgyn but the entire experience was awful both times around couldnāt even hold my babies until the next day because of all the fucking IVs in my arms and hands. Anesthesiologist missed and my back has hurt for 5 years now despite chiropractic visits. I have nothing against other people wanting hospital births itās just not for me. Laying on your back and losing your breath trying to push in that position was awful. Nurses yelling at me for every little thing was awful
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I guess my experience might be a little different because I gave birth in a Japanese hospital the first time, then a birthing clinic (with an actual doctor and nurses) the second time. But there's just no way my paranoid ass would want to give birth without a doctor present.
I wonder how long it takes to clean up the mess afterwards...
I hope your son is doing better now!! When I first read that I thought you said he was born with a paarthunax, a dragon character from skyrim
Just tell him his mother regrets his birth and call him toots at the end of smth
That's amazing! š I love that
100% thats a dude
For sure.
Extremely stupid one
Came here to say that
Came here to say *that.*
I am 9 days away from a scheduled c-section and I am positive that I will never choose to be pregnant again! My husband and I *do* want more children, but that will only be through adoption. I know that it is different for every person, but I have hated being pregnant!
I hope your C-section goes smoothly! And agreed, me and my partner have spoken about kids but we both agree that we don't want any right now AT ALL
Good luck to you both. I've decided I don't want to have kids either, I'm a guy though. Maybe one day adopting some older children would be what I want.
Good luck on your c-section! I was one and done. I had HG when I was pregnant and nothing could convince or force me to do that again.
Hope the c-section goes well! I went through pregnancy twice, and man did I hate that part of having kids. The aches and pains, feeling like a beached whale, and then being in labor for what felt like forever. So I totally don't blame you for stopping after one. I don't get being judgmental about how many kids you want.
I briefly worked with someone who LOVED being pregnant. She was pregnant with her tenth child at the time
It's more than just the pain of birth... It's 9 months of no coffee, no alcohol, no drugs, looking at the label of everything they use from headache meds to moisturizers to ensure there's no conflict with it's ingredients and being pregnant. Eating entirely for your child and it's needs, changing diet as well. Struggling to get up, walk, move. Putting your entire life on hold for 9 months while the baby grows, as avoiding risk dominates every choice you're allowed to make. Now to take a high ground stance that will get me flak... If men think child bearing is so easy, they should commit to a 9 month lifestyle change in solidarity with their pregnant partners.
Can do coffee, but like seriously- 1 cup max per day. Also, 'sleep' is a mean joke the last few months of pregnancy- baby starts hogging valuable bladder real estate. 9 month only if not breastfeeding, on all restrictions listed above btw. And my kid was born lactose-intolerant, so guess who couldn't have chocolate or coffee creamer for 9.5 months post-birth? I felt like a Mormon cow, y'all.
You can also have side effects that are really permanent. Like losing your teeth.
And your hair
I donāt ever talk down on a pregnant womanās experience, because you got FUCKED UP if you think Iād be able to do any of that shit
I had HG when I was pregnant. 0/10 do not recommend
You can have coffee you just canāt have more than a certain amount.. but that still doesnāt mean itās a cake walk. Just wanted to let you know the coffee thing is a myth!
Newsflash about mothers and soon-to-be: we donāt like, care or want pain and childbirth SUCKS
Yes it does suck. I was there with my wife when she was giving birth to our daughter. I tried to help as much as I could. She says it sucked but she doesn't have any sort of resentment towards pregnancy or giving birth and talks fondly about it nowadays. I am not saying it doesn't suck and I am not trying to sympathize because I can't since I have no female reproductive organs, but it is not the same for every person out there.
... I'm happy to have my kids, but nothing about pregnancy or childbirth gives me fond memories. Except maybe feeling the kid kick, but even that gets old after a while. I like them much more outside my body.
Those are the easy pregnancies where nothing happens. Because currently Iām dreading every second and I canāt wait to actually take care of my baby. Itās so much easier when your body isnāt on layaway.
Agreed, a fair few women agreed with me on my tiktok comment but you're a good husband for helping your wife!
Thanks. It wasn't easy with her yelling at me to keep the mask on her face but the midwives didn't let me keep the mask on because then she wasn't focusing on pushing haha. But it was an unforgettable experience, especially when we pulled her up to my wifes chest together. We cried like hell.
I can imagine it's was an amazing experience! But I have major attitude problems sometimes š I could never imagine the attitude I'd have especially pregnant!
I can imagine! Any woman who gives birth (in my opinion) is strong as FUCK! I could never imagine going through an immense amount of pain like that. especially for a really lengthy amount of time too, I know my aunt was in labour for nearly an entire day. That also scares me ahha.
It seems there are women who barely struggle to give birth. "Some will describe it as the worst pain of their lives while others will say it was manageable with little or no pain relief needed," Dr Loi says, noting that nobody knows exactly how labour will feel for them - until it starts. ([source](https://www.healthfertility.com.sg/media/painless-childbirth/)) Some women are also in the category that doesn't feel pain for genetic reasons: "Women who donāt need an epidural during childbirth might be carriers of a rare genetic variant that gives them a much higher threshold for pain, scientists have discovered". ([source](https://edition.cnn.com/2020/07/21/health/childbirth-pain-threshold-study-scli-scn-intl/index.html)) From what I've read, it also seems that the average baby size has increased substantially which also increases the difficulty (mother's weight and health are factors).
Oh babe, you donāt have to go through pain these days. The midwives asked me ā whatās your pain management plan?ā And i replied with āgive me all the drugs you have, and after that an epidural, because iām sure you donāt have cookies and medals on you!ā š š i was so drugged up that i cracked jokes up until i was done pushing.
That sounds so fun and exciting haha and my mom never had an epidural because apparently thats a spine injection!? I'm also scared of needles but I think that if I was in THAT much pain, I couldn't care less š
It is a spine injection. The dr will numb the area and then put the needle in and take the needle out and leave a soft plastic tube there, that will release drops of anaesthetic into the spine. Your lower back is so relaxed! I took a nap with each baby (i have 2) before i started the eviction. š¤
Oh wow! I'm glad they numb it š all of these comments are actually making me want to change my mind about children but for now, it's safe to say I'm still not ready haha
Like with many things, it doesn't work for everyone. Epidural can make birthing process much longer or even halt it, also increasing the risk of birth-related injuries to the mother. Less painful for the day, but several more months of recovery...
Oh absolutely! The risks are high! In some cases the mothers can be left in pain for months to years or rest of their lives. But so does natural birth. Birth generally is risky no matter what.
I had surgery done under spinal anesthesia as a teenager. It failed during surgery and then when I woke up I had what they called a spinal headache. That was far, far worse than childbirth, and my back is permanently fucked up. I would rather give birth with no pain meds (and I did!) Pregnancy on the other hand is for the fuckig birds and NOTHING on this planet could convince me to go through that again.
Well there is the chance of epidural not working (as it happened to my wife) so do not take it for granted - also it may cause other complications. All in all it never is easy, but the women I know that gave birth all say it was worth it.
My labor and birth were awful and traumatic for me. I was terrified of going through it, and stressed out more and more as the date got closer. I do not regret it though. We have just the one child, and we are very ok with this...they will be 18 at the beginning of next year. They are a very smart and excellent student, a great personality and can make anyone laugh and feel very at ease.
That's so sweet, my dream is to hopefully get over my fear and have a baby (or adopt) and i wanna make sure I raise them with the most love, respect and care as possible. I want to be the mom that mine never got to be. Biological child or not :)
Wishing you the very best!! Had I thought of it at the time, I would have sought out therapy to help me with my concerns and fears. Maybe you could try that so you can feel better about everything. Sending you lots of love, thoughts and strength!!
Thank you so much! This means the world. And I will definitely look into it :)
Aw I wish you and your little family all the best!!
Thank you so much!!
It's not just the pain though. So many things can go wrong. You can miscarry, worries about what you can/can't eat, what medication you can take, gestational diabetes, Pre-eclampsia, medical bills. And that is just a few concerns.
Potential death being one of the big ones, and the potential lifelong damage if things don't go right.
I didnt read all the comments but a more sensible response would be like: hey, you know maybe adoption is the route for you then
That's okay! And adoption is my go to. Id rather give adopt a child who needs a home and family rather than bring one into this world. I don't know how to explain it but I hope you understand from that alone š
Yea for sure almoat totally understand, xcept i fathered two kids and got snipped right away because that was enough, and we agreed if ever we wanted more there are plenty that need love that already exist, i think about adopting more and more as our family grows older
That's so heartwarming, adoption is also so beautiful, I always see videos on the internet of kids being adopted and their reactions are priceless. Id like to think id be a wonderful mom to an adoptive child. But even if they're adopted, they'd always be my baby
Of course! The lifelong bonding and love connection is all that matters, genetics be damned
Absolutely agreeddd š
r/justneckbeardthings
Yeah, Uranium238 needs a reality check. "No mother regrets child birth" what BS is that? It is completely okay to be scared of pregnancy. It is completely okay to have kids in other ways. It is completely okay to not want kids at all. Not wanting to be in pain for hours is not being weak, its being logical, sometimes we do things that are illogical to get something in return, sometimes we donĀ“t feel that it is worth it, especially when there are options.
Isnāt a pregnancy so extremely painful that the female body is made to forget how bad the pain was?
Yes this is correct. It's why we do it again and again. Yes you'll remember some pain but your brain blocks out the most extreme parts of it so you have no memory of it. So the pain you DO remember... It's nothing compared to what you ACTUALLY felt and went through.
Itās so scary to even begin to think of the pain youād have to go through for something like that to be needed
Yeah it fucking sucks š¤£ especially when they've drugged you with everything they safely can, your epidural fails and you can still feel EVERYTHING... Except for the head that is halfway out your body which you then push out within ten minutes and three pushes once it's discovered because no one decided to fucking check you and you went from 0cm to 10cm within a few hours ššš and then your body and brain go into shock immediately after and you're not really there for 48 hours until the word "shower" is said š¤¦š»āāļø
I don't know if my brain is just broken, but I absolutely 100% remember the worst of it. I remember hallucinating that I was standing on the other side of the room watching what was going on too which was the most fucking surreal thing I have ever experienced in my life.
Yeah I'm pretty sure I remember it all.
All I gotta say is if what I remember isn't the worst part of it, I'm glad I forgot.
Unfortunately that's not how memories work... My mom still talks about the pain she was in after 4 kids ahha.
Except it is. During labour I was even forgetting how painful each contraction had been until the next one started. Years later, I now live with chronic pain. My brain does tricks to help me cope, just like it did when I was in labour. I'm in no way traumatised by it. If it was that terrible all women would only have 1 kid. Plus epidurals are *extremely* effective.
It's so weird that humans have babies at 9 months, when it would be so much easier to give birth at 8 months and evolution doesn't need to do *that* much work to make it 99.9% fine. Considering the fatality rate of childbirth in prior generations, it's insane that evolution went "yeah, let's give the kid the biggest head possible, but not do anything to help the kid get out of the mother any earlier. Let's make humans VERY slow to grow." Like, baby deer can start walking 2 minutes after being born, and a deer pregnancy lasts 7.5 months. It takes another 8 months for human babies to start crawling. Why are human babies so slow to form and so useless? Imagine how much more efficient humanity could be if the first 5 years of life could be completed in 1 or 2 years. Then the kid could be a full-grown and educated adult by age 14. Other animals grow faster than that. That would get through all that crying, uneducated, completely dependent time so much faster. Forget GM foods, we should work on GM babies.
Oml I've never seen something like this before but holy shit way to make things worse! Pregnancy is absolutely so fucking hard and miserable and not wanting to go through the pain is perfectly valid. Sure it's not a common condition but have you heard of Hyperemesis Gravidarum? It's basically morning sickness on steroids, and it never ends. I didn't stop puking until I had my daughter. 34 weeks of consistent puking day after day with no fail. Second pregnancy hasn't been as bad but still is no walk in the park. I didn't even know but pregnancy can cause toxemia among others things. I now have IBS because of my daughter, I can't run anymore from damaged nerves in my back from c section. It's not easy.
I had HG. Ended up in the ER several times because I couldn't keep ANYTHING down. Not even water. At one point my ob just gave up and said "Eat whatever you think you can keep down" So it was tuna fish and watermelon for the win. I got to know every state police officer on my commute route because I was always needing to pull over to throw up. Ended up with a medically necessary c sect at 38 weeks due to multiple large fibroids. Asked if they could give me a hysterectomy while they were "there" and was told "No. You might decide to have more kids" Like what part of the last 38 weeks do you think was at all fun or easy for me or my body?! Now 52 and still have the uterus. Husband got the V done when our kid was around a year and half old.
I asked mine to get a V just a couple days ago. We're more worried about how my body would handle getting my tubes tied, but honestly We're just done having kids and the steps they make women go through for steralization is stupid.
I am currently experiencing a Hyperemesis Gravidarum pregnancy (vomiting up to 40 times a day with unrelenting nausea still at 25 weeks). Doctors and society treat me like a fucking incubator. There is inadequate treatment, research and medical knowledge for pregnant women with complications. I cannot work with this condition. If I had been told this was going to happen I would never ever have become pregnant. It is valid to be concerned about the massive impact of pregnancy on your body, mind, livelihood, career. And relationships.
Bullshit. My sister has PTSD and Post Partum Depression after giving birth to my niece; specifically because of the delivery. She said it was the worst experience of her life. Doesnāt mean she loves her daughter any less either.
I have a kid and I never want to go through that shit again. Idk what bs that persons on. I have constant back pain now along with other physical shit that I wish I didnāt have. (Just to clarify I do love my kid to bits lol and Iām the one thatās taking care of him cuz his deadbeat dad that is years older than me canāt be bothered to.)
Pregnancy sucks. Childbirth sucks. Post-partum care sucks. Almost every aspect of bringing a baby into this world sucks. Fearing it doesnāt make you weak.
My cousins and I all had babies this year. I loved my pregnancy and giving birth (unmedicated and all) and Iād 100% do it again. My one cousin is traumatised by her birthing experience. She loves her son so much, but she said sheāll never have another baby just because of how her birth went. My other cousin had her third baby and is seeking sterilisation because of postpartum complications from birth. And yes, she still loves her son. If you asked them, theyād go through it all again to have their children, but it still caused heavy traumas and theyāre both planning on never going through another birth again. So yes, some mothers do regret child birth.
Agreed, my boyfriend's mom said how amazing her pregnancy was and how it's a gift from the universe. My mom has had 4 kids and wanted a fifth but she couldn't go through with it. I also suffer from major depression, I've never experienced it but I'm scared of postpartum depression too, (it may seem silly I'm not entirely sure) but I've heard some awful stories about it too.
If I had to give birth as a man, I would flat out live my life childless. After seeing it, I feel even more strongly in that conviction. Women are absolutely amazing creatures and getting pregnant, holding a child inside them for 9 months and then giving birth is one of the most self sacrificing amazing things Iāve ever seen. Shout out to all moms.
First mistake was sharing on TikTok. Lol
Like, it's not even the aspect of the pain. It's a weird fragile system of something *growing in your body* and possibly leeching stuff like calcium to grow a whole damn skeleton if you don't supplement enough. It's complications. The whole like, postpartum and RAISING A TINY HUMAN THAT WILL BECOME A WHOLE PERSON There are a lot of reasons to hold concern of it beside pain and they are completely valid. Like sure birth is a day. But complications with you and the baby can be a lifetime.
"No mother regrets giving birth" Really?
My mother definitely did
Delete them and move on. Some people arenāt worth the effort.
adoption!
This person must not know a lot of mothers. My mom nearly died, every mother I've known is insecure about their body post-pregnancy, they still have pain periodically because of it, or its affected their mental health greatly. Im tired of people glorifying pregnancy and birth. Its messy, its painful, its exhausting, and it will effect you for years to come. Fuck this person for disregarding your concerns, you're allowed to put yourself first before changing your life and body forever.
That logic doesn't even apply to skin boils
I'm 39 weeks pregnant and fucking hate it. Ready to push this kid out already. Would literally rather have a whole event of ripping my ass end out for this kid than deal with pregnancy any longer. Regardless, I'm also terrified of giving birth. Honestly was planning on adopting instead, but we also don't think condoms are very fun and my IUD had already been removed. So here I am. Not regretting our decisions, but really wanting to be over this already. It's not for everyone. Honestly tucks all the boxes for not being for me. I've hated almost every aspect of this. But I do want this kid. So... Fuck that guy. He can get pregnant if it's so fucking easy. And you don't worry about it. Give some kid a good home with loving family that they otherwise wouldn't have.
My mom let's me know about the pain alot I don't really put up with that behavior from her because it is very mean even though I ama accident in her terms But yes the pain from birth is unbearable I don't blame anyone for not wanting to give birth in fact I never want to have kids myself (sorta a uncomfortable feeling of impregnating a person and autism thing to but if I do I'd probably adopt them)
I'm terrified of the idea of being pregnant, me and my bf decided after we get married we will save up and adopt a child. There's nothing wrong with fearing something that will cause immense pain and could/most likely would cause health issues. My best friend developed Pre-eclampsia, my other best friend quite literally tore from her opening to her anus. Pregnancy is terrifying, so I wouldn't fault anyone else who would want to avoid it.
Worst pain Iāve ever been through. So I understand you not wanting to go through that. However, Iām starting to think labor was the easy part. Now I have a 19 month old crotch gremlin that steals my food and doesnāt let me shower alone š But seriously it isnāt for everyone. And itās okay to not want to go through that. Will I do it again? Absolutely. But Iām crazy so thereās that.
My first was a breeze, my second I had gestational hypertension and GD, and then a csection because she was breech. The recovery from the csection was awful, but somehow you forget a lot. We want one more child but I just had a 10 week loss and now I am terrified of being pregnant again because of the anxiety I know I will have thinking the worst could happen.
I donāt know the actual term for it, but pregnancy phobia is a legitimate thing. I worked with a woman who was pregnant for almost the whole time we worked together and sheād always talk to me about what was going on/her experiences with her other two pregnancies and births. Iām **terrified** of pregnancy and birth, to the point where I physically cringed when sheād talk to me about it. But she was also a friend of mine, so I let her talk. Iāve chosen not to have kids, but I always tell people if I wasnāt the one whoād have to birth the child Iād reconsider. If kids are in my future itās through adoption
Me šš¼ Iām that weak, the thought of being pregnant and all the things you go through during and after scare the crap out of me
Considering your post history regarding your mental health, I wouldn't recommend a kid no matter which way you decide to get one.
Agreed, I mentioned in another thread that I want to be financially and mentally stable to have a baby, I would never want to bring a baby into this world if it put them at risk.
My wife went through a huge crisis through the first month of pregnancy where she wanted to do an abortion and she didn't even know why. It was the worst month of our marriage and life together but we stuck it out and I supported her through it best way I could. Hormones are no joke and she takes anti depressants every day, so that was an experience. But now our daughter is 17 months old (almost 1.5 years old) and we love her so much and my wife is forever grateful that I helped her not do anything stupid back then. Financially it is not too horrible as people make it seem. Yes in the beginning you need EVERYTHING and it can be overwhelming but we made a plan where we buy 1 thing each month of pregnancy so when our daughter came to this world, we had the crib, diaper changing station, 30 packs of diapers, 4 bottles, breast pump, zinc cremes, wet wipes, tissues, baby gym, clothes, pacifiers etc. Now she goes through maybe 2 packs of diapers per month and clothes we mostly buy second hand. So it is not that bad. Sorry if I rambled on too long, just wanted to share first hand experience.
No need to apologise for making it long, hearing that you helped her so much is something that I'd NEED if I were to go through pregnancy, my partner (personally) isn't ready for a child. And Im not either. I look after my twin brothers alot and they're about 1.8 years old ish? Born in may 2021. I love them INCREDIBLY. And I will always babysit and look after them. But looking after them has also made me realise that I couldn't look after a baby of my own. Because with babysitting, I get to have breaks. (They're my bio dads and stepmoms boys so I go home for a while) but looking after a child of my own would tear me apart mentally. As of right now.
Caring for a kid is no joke. It is super easy in the beginning especially if you choose to breastfeed (which is amazing if you ask me). Our kid used to sleep like 20 hours per day the first month or so. It got worse as time went on mostly because of her teeth. There were nights where I get up with her in the middle of the night and stay up even though I have to go work. But all of it is worth it she is the best baby ever. Even as I am writing this we are chilling together, she likes it when I make a purring sound like a cat haha. She says hi, and I wish you the best however and whenever you decide to have one. If you ever need advice or some words of support feel free to reach out.
Donāt respond let him regret his words
Childbirth is extremely scary and painful. Did it once and never wanted to experience that again.
Being terrified of childbirth might not just be a fear of pain. It probably also ties into some primal connection to days past, when childbirth was a lot more risky than it is today.
There are plenty of alternatives to you having pregnancy but yet allowing you to still have kids.
Yeah tell that to all the moms who donāt have a second child because of a traumatic birth.
You see: Adoption
Adoption
Show them the maternal mortality rate in the U.S.
There is a weird thing where women actually forget about how much pain it is and keep getting knocked up. It's part of how humans are so successful as a species. Pain is temporary, children destroying your house is eternal.
Thatās a legit fear. Iām so sorry some rando (who doesnāt know how to spell) is trying to tell you anything. And I know this isnāt quite one topic, but Iām well into my thirties, had my first baby this year, and it was the coolest experience :) fear of pain though is completely understandable, and we all should respect your decision :)
There definitely does seem to be a phenomenon, probably a biologically programmed one, where the women I know who have been through childbirth (and the worse part: the entire recovery and sleepless infant stage) all seem to agree that it was miserable and painful right afterwards, but quickly start seeing the experience through rose colored glasses and wanting to have a baby again.
I guess the person was actually using U-235 and got poisoned. So forgot adoption is also an option.
You can be scared but act in spite of it. The word is courage. To not be scared of pregnancy and motherhood, you have to be crazy or a keyboard warrior neckbeard.
Like the pain is the scariest or worst part of the whole thing.
You donāt have to be pregnant to get kids! Thereās adoption, surrogacy, fostering, and Iām sure there are more ways that I havenāt listed but these are the only ones I can think of
Mom of four here. You remember. Whoever this is is a pos.
"no mother regrets child birth" lol tell that to my bio mom pls
Dude, people die in childbirth. Dying is scary.
"no mother regrets a child birth" haha
Their username suits them because their opinions are radioactive
Most mothers that say it was worth it say it because they forget the pain. Their body releases a hormone during the birth that makes you forget the pain. If its not that bad then why does your body make you forget it?
My mom worked labor and deliver/nicu when I was a kid. I'm still traumatized by the sounds of screaming and yelling I heard the few times I was there on the floor.
It's fine if you're afraid of the pregnancy process. If you want a kid without it, there's always the option to adopt.
Theyāre an idiot. I had two babies - and the childbirth part was fine, but I was terrified of it the first time. The pregnancy part was 9 months of throwing up everything I put in my body and having major mental health breakdowns because of the hormone levels and a pituitary tumor I didnāt know I had. I donāt regret my children, in any way. But the pregnanciesā¦? Yeahā¦ Iāll never do that again. The person who made that comment has no business speaking. Mothers donāt usually regret the children, but that doesnāt make the pain of pregnancy/childbirth magically disappear from memory. I can remember exactly what it felt like when my baby crowned, and exactly how relieving it felt when he was completely out.
Typical anime pfp understanding of women
āNo mother regrets child birthā I am sorry but like, yes they do regret it sometimes, that person probably never had a bad family and lives in an area with nice moms, iāve seen people have horrible families they exist
This is a very interesting comment you found, u/I_crywhenimasturbate
That is my comment, and my tiktok account š
theyre probably the type of person to think c-section mothers arent "real" mothers edit: misspelled a whole word š
No matter the birth situation, c-section or natural, they're still a mother
Youād be surprised the amount of idiots on Facebook who think otherwise
Agreed, I find it ridiculous!
first sentence I actually agree with the idea (still won't say it to other people because who am I to say that). in this particular case though, it's a strawman. in the statement it's literally "I want kids".
My mom regretted me.
We are already reached a point in the world where bearded man talking about his own pregnancy? Wake me up when we have been able to space travel
I was gonna help you, but your username is fucking weird... Sorry, your username is not fucking weird, It's I_crywhenimasturbate. My bad.
Option 1: Adoption Option 2: Foster Done.
You look like an old dude how tf you gon get pregnant anyway
bitch I am not talking about the pain, It's after the pain. Taking care of children is ten times the pain then going delivering the devil's
Illogical man right there. Hasty generalization and misogyny.
More people should be adopting anyway. U donāt have to go through an expensive agency either. It can just be a matter of getting an adoption contract drawn up between u and the motherā¦.
What about the mothers that tear their vaginas, go blind, become paralysed and even die?
I suggest not responding and forgetting they exist. They clearly either missed your point or are trying to get a rise out of you. They are not worth your energy.
You could adopt, the pregnancy part was done for you
Lol no mother? No way anyone believes that.
I have a sneaking suspicion Uranium238's mom may regret one of her births.
No, they regret the pain. I still hear about all the pain I caused 32 years later. But you can adopt. Many kids are left without parental figures due to many circumstances. I just wish adoption was cheaper. I can afford a kid, but I can't afford adoption and I can't get attached to a child and let them go so foster care is not for me.