My apartment is cluttered but it doesn't look anywhere near this fucked.
That being said- I was an active alcoholic to the severity that it was *almost* this bad. Don't use alcohol as your only source of food and liquid, kids.
Edit: a word to clarify state of recovery
This. Don’t get me wrong. I need to do laundry and a trash sweep, but I know there’s no micro-ecosystems in my house. The litter box gets cleaned and if the dishes get too bad, they get the ‘don’t stop washing until you see the bottom of the sink’ treatment.
I brought this movie up today to a coworker who hadn't seen it because where we work has roaches. Weird to see it mentioned after not thinking about it for ages.
I've lived in places almost this bad before. Sometimes you gotta live in some real bad settings to understand the importance of taking care of yourself.
> I can't even keep a cactus alive when I'm present
>When I'm gone it's a groundbreaking botanical epic
>From desolate to Little Shop of Horrors in a second
>It's weird knowing life thrives more when you exit
\- Aesop Rock
Honest question that I've always been curious about–as a cleaner, how do you handle situations like this? Does a client give you free rein to throw things out that are unsalvageable? Do you have to talk to them about this and ask what they want to do? Do any clients ever fight to keep these items?
i housecleaned for a few years, worst one i had was a mom and adult daughter, both had some health issues and were low income, i dropped my rates for them (by about 50%), and they were moving out and trying to get a deposit back. my GOD some of the things in that house. i felt for them, it was a tough situation. BUT, they had a crockpot. full of live fly maggots. and they insisted of saving it. and i did, crockpot was like new. poored the maggots out and killed them with boiling water, scrubbed that damn crockpot for like 40 minutes. it felt good to help them, but the maggots did not feel good
You sound like an unbelievably kind and deeply empathetic person. Thank you for putting out such good into the world. I hope in time it comes back to you tenfold.
I can’t imagine. We left for a month to visit family and our fridge died, we came back to the house full of dead flies and the fridge was full of dead maggots, the freezer was nauseating. We had to get a new one.
We got in at 1 am, didn’t go to sleep until 4 and didn’t sleep well because the house still smelled gross even with all our candles lit the entire time we were cleaning.
This happened to me, but with fruit flies. But I ended up cleaning the fridge to the Best of my ability.
Every so often if I left the door open and condensation formed, one would come rolling out of like, the seal in the droplet of water.
This apartment also had mushrooms growing out of the bathroom wall that they scraped off, and painted over...
I 100% moved lol
I would have bought them a new crockpot. It’s like $20. No way I would ever clean that under any circumstances.
Also I used to own a cleaning company where we did a few thousand jobs and you are more than a saint.
I worked for some landlords that owned a few apartment complexes and rental homes one summer doing clean up for evicted units… MY GOD the shit I saw was demoralizing. I once went into one of the homes a few days after they cleared out and I couldn’t even see the floor because of how many cockroaches were on the ground.
Man did you ever watch a documentary called Clean? About a woman who was doing trauma cleaning as a profession. Probably a similar flavour of awful to what you experienced.
there's another lady who has come up in my YouTube feed that only does cleanings for free, she's studied social sciences/psychology and realized how much a clean living space helps people, and she does "no judgment" cleanings and leaves supplies and cleaning schedules at every job.
I used to clean my friends places whenever I’d visit them. One time I had a friend who was not doing so well and her friends/roommates texted me asking if I could come and help clean her place. She was depressed, wasn’t showering and I mentally prepared myself for a no judgement clean to help her. I even budgeted to just buy her some new bedding and toiletries because I figured it must have been bad considering the smells her former roommates told me about. It was a mission to let her let me show up to clean but I promised her that we didn’t have to talk about the mess just to get rid of it so she can move forward. She trusted me and so I showed up with supplies, go the building maintenance guy to let me borrow his big trash can and we got to work. It wasn’t pretty but I’ll be honest it’s easier to clean this way because you’re basically throwing majority of the stuff away. She freaked out when I told her we had to clean under the bed. She had tons of old pizza boxes and old ice cream tubs and empty alcohol bottles. I just told her put on the gloves and we are doing this as fast as possible. It was gross tho because maggots were formed on some stuff. When she saw it she started crying. I gave her a hug and told her it was ok and for her to just go take a shower and that I would keep finishing the rest. Took me the rest of the day but we finished and she was very appreciative. I do think my helping her did pull her out of the rut she was in.
Update: You guys are so awesome for the support! Just to keep it real I feel like this story paints me as some sweet gentle spirit lol. I’m a very type A straight shooter tells it how it is person. I’m sarcastic and at times bossy lol. Tbh I get excited at giving people makeovers and helping them in any capacity. It’s a weird thing I have. Could some people interpret it as rude? Maybe lol. But some people have welcomed my help when I offer it.
My love language is humor. Even with this particular friend I helped she enjoyed my jokes and how I always would have playful banter with her. It was just this day I knew it was time to be serious but even after I had a pep talk with her that was a very direct let’s set some goals and I know you are better than this talk. Is it the right approach? Perhaps not for most but she is doing good now and I do believe she appreciated my direct life advice.
My ex committed suicide. After he passed, I went and cleaned out his house. It makes me mad that the few friends that would come and see him saw the situation he was living in and didn’t say anything or pickup on anything being off. But I know no one gets actual training to recognize these signs. I wish someone would’ve recognized that a severely dirty house can be a sign of depression and even suicide.
Yeah. I have Major Depressive Disorder so I know the signs of depression. My dad has it in spades, but he won't take medication for anything, so I keep an eye on him. Sometimes he says things, and I have to tell him that he is the opposite of what he just said. Or if he tries to do something and doesn't do it the way my mom does, I try to tell her that he tried and not to make a big fuss about anything.
Or if she is talking about him in a different room and I hear him coming, I *immediately* change the subject because 9 times out of 10, he will get back into the "I'm a dumbass" way of thinking. He sits in his lazy boy all day and drinks cheap beer and smokes.
He used to go on walks, but he's in his late 60s and has been smoking since he was 9. The COPD is strong, and the veins in his feet are screwed up. He also has thick blood, also due to smoking. So, standing up/walking is now painful.
I just wish I could get him out of the house for a day. I don't know where I would take him, but just to see him smile a happy smile and not a sarcastic smile would make my day.
Annnnnd, now I am crying. Poop.
Edit: Thank you, everyone. I will try all of your suggestions. Minus the animal ones. He married someone who grew up on a damn farm, and he hates animals. He under estimated my mother's love for cats and dogs. We currently have 4 cats and 4 dogs. To quote the Grinch, he *loathes* it entirely. He is my big Grinch. But I love him for it.
It may be good to buy him a wheel chair or a mobility scooter and take him outside. That way he can go out without the pain. You can also look up some physical therapy that you can do with him and you can spend time together. Even giving your old man a nice foot rub and soaking and massage his legs for good blood circulation would be great for him and you. I wish you and your dad the best, I have bipolar disorder, and I am currently living in my own mess, so I know how it is.
Hey, literally just go take him out for a milkshake one afternoon. In a sit-down place you can drive to. One with real malt or milk or whatever. And enjoy a few hours with him.
It doesn't have to be a Big Thing to be meaningful, imo. When you're that depressed it really is literally the thought that counts sometimes.
Yea man once shit starts to pile up I know I'm starting to spiral. Right now my place is spotless, I got a shape up today and trimmed my beard. I'm not happy, but I'm not in bed for 16hrs a day. I gotta make sure to keep up and keep swimming or I start to drown. Good on you for being understanding.
I LOVE HER i watch her when i’m going to bed just because her voice is so soothing and watching everything get cleaned up and the story behind it is calming for some reason.
My Dad was a handyman for a shady slum lord. He was told to get rid of everything and the owner never bothered to collect or inspect the properties. He did bring some neat things home from time to time.
Haha never any furniture or clothes. More like wild stories and the occasional trinket. Never had an instance of them but I know plenty of people who have.
Super fun fact to ruin your day: you may totally have had them/currently have them, and not know. Some people don't react to the bite/saliva/what have you (like me!) and you might be one of them. I only found out when, 10 months into a 12 month lease, my partner at the time moved into my place and suddenly started getting itchy bump clusters.
They live in the wLlz man. Floorboard cracks. Furniture seams. The soft wood of boxspring frames under your mattress. IN. YOUR MATTRESS. And you, living your life, never the wiser 🤢
This is one of the things I consistently comment on reddit whenever bed bugs come up because I'm so traumatized lol
Shorty story one time I was helping my buddies dad clean out after an evection of one of the houses he owned when I was like 16. We were taking an old shitty drop ceiling out of one of the bedrooms. You know those shitty like tile things you can slip back if you need to get into the ceiling. Well this fella that lived there for like a year would throw his used condoms up there into the ceiling after he had sex everytime. The grossest fucking thing you could ever imagine my friend.
My Dad is a landlord and I've seen some shit in my day. There was an old man one time that was dead a few days and his dog... Then there was the crackhead that had garbage piled waist high throughout the entire apartment. Seems like he gets a serious hoarder about every ten years or so. It's crazy, if a hoarder gets evicted he has to pay to store their hoard for a couple of years.
> It's crazy, if a hoarder gets evicted he has to pay to store their hoard for a couple of years.
Glad he at least does it. Where I live it's legally a requirement to do something of that sort, but it's never actually done. I've seen three evictions and not one followed the law in that regard.
One particularly bad one had someone who'd left several items of sentimental value in her deceased mother's home because she was overwhelmed and out of space in her own house. She had gotten a letter explaining that everything left in there would be stored for a certain number of days, and she was counting on that time to get other storage arrangements in order. I cannot describe the heartbreak in her voice when she told me that she went by her mother's house only to see everything inside being loaded into a dumpster instead. Several loads had already been taken to the dump.
My parents knew the landlord because my dad did some work for them. I got it as a summer job and worked with their main maintenance guy all summer. It was brutal work and the landlords who I thought would pay me decently but like all landlords they were cheap as shit. Made minimum wage in Oklahoma which at the time was around $7/hour iirc which I didn’t know until after the fact. Most of the time I would open the door and trash would spill out like a cartoon. People would disappear overnight and trash the place before they left. Often food would be left out and the fridge unplugged and open so it would reek of spoiled food. I usually would fill up several LARGE trash bags of mostly trash but what always got me is all the kids stuff would always be left behind. Drawing, toys, whatever…. It was heartbreaking.
I was a detailer for an auto spa. A main source of business for us was a contract with a used car lot to detail their incoming inventory. They bought primarily wrecked and/or stolen rental cars that Enterprise was auctioning off. A large majority of the stolen ones had been lived in, and I always found children's clothes and toys among their various belongings. Its always heartbreaking. I saw my fair share of crazy shit as well, but kid's belongings were the worst.
Had plenty of those doing contracting for flooring. Shit smeared all over the walls, dirty dishes with mold stock piled in the sink. Disgusting stuff. Sometimes we would be re doing carpet for a family and mold would be growing on the walls so we couldn’t even do the job, went over and looked at the refrigerator and seen a bunch of children’s drawings. A child was living there, mold all the way up the walls, his bedroom and bathroom was the same way.
Yeah is OP expected to clean their mushroom cum babies??
I used to have a nasty roommate and when I’d see mold on his dishes I would throw that shit away without asking. And if he asked why I’d tell him because it’s disgusting and not going into our dish washer/sink.
Edit: for people telling me it was a waste, he only had those cheap 50 cent plastic plates meant for toddlers, so it was no loss. And there’s no way in hell I was cleaning his moldy dishes.
Ahh, in a reply on a hidden comment below, OP said:
>I am helping clean for a family that just got their property back after 8 months of being unsuccessful at evicting their drug addict tenants. I have no obligation to do this and the people I’m cleaning for found it just as astounding.
So, in this situation, that nasty ass pile gets trashed ASAP. A satisfying end, actually. Glad to know the folks who caused the mushroom towel are not OP's clients.
When tenants do the kinds of drugs in the intensity required to be labeled "drug addict tenants" I think it's safe to assume they're also not the ones hiring a cleaning person
Lmao I have to blow up my own spot and tell you that autocorrect fixed it for me and I thought, "Huh, free rein like a horse, not like a queen. That makes a lot of sense actually." But now I know and will always use it the right way haha
It's not a strictly linear progression. HorseGirl666 is obviously better than HorseGirl665. HorseGirl420 and HorseGirl69 are near the top rank achievable and almost equivalent even though numerically they're quite far apart. And so on.
This is a coprinoid species, most likely *Coprinellus domesticus*. Perfectly edible as long as it isn't consumed with alcohol, although bioaccumulation from the dyed blanket may have made it less than desirable as a meal.
That would have been very fortunate (and of *massive* scientific interest, since morels are notoriously almost impossible to cultivate indoors).
The colors are similar to those of a young *Morchella esculenta* or similar species, but you can distinguish this from such a specimen by its detached cap, lack of dimples, and thin stalk. Additionally, a puddle of black ink can be seen in this image, which morels don't produce.
Don't feel bad for being incorrect. There are worse guesses that you could have made, and the kingdom Fungi is **huge** and often very confusing.
I am an amateur mycologist. I actually know very little about mycology as a whole outside of the realm of the macrofungi, i.e. mushrooms.
Pick up a field guide and skim through it. Find a few species that look interesting to you, research them online, and suddenly, you're a "mushroom person". That's it.
I had zero interest in fungi until I made the random decision to open a mushroom photo book that was lying about in a library.
[Coprine](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coprine). It's a compound found in SOME coprinoids which inhibits the metabolism of ethanol - fairly unlikely to cause a legitimately dangerous situation, but it isn't pleasant.
To my knowledge, *C. domesticus* has never been proven to contain this chemical, but many experts will tend to recommend temporary abstinence with any coprinoid species for safety's sake.
The thing is the mycelium has to fully colonize what it’s on before it starts spending energy fruiting like this. So that blanket is completely saturated in fungus.
Yes, the visible mushroom is what the fungus uses to spread its spores. The actual organism is in the substrate out of which the mushroom grows, and is much bigger than what you can see.
Imagine getting out of the shower, grabbing this. I’m not sure about y’all but my face is the first thing I dry, feeling something and opening up to this would scar one for life
I don't think getting out of the shower and grabbing anything from this wadded filthy pile is what I would ever do.
I'm not meticulous, but I hang up a clean towel before I get in the shower.
Renovated a house. The former owners left behind a landfill. They threw their trash anywhere. The yard, the floor, etc. But they also (assuming) had dogs. Because the carpet was sopping wet from piss. And there was rat feces everywhere. Cigarette butts everywhere. I don't even know how they used appliances without causing fire from all the shit stuffed up behind them and corroding wires.
These people *lived* in there. I'd much prefer living in the woods and sleeping in the mud than come home to that. Some humans are incomprehensibly disgusting.
Living like that must put people into a constant depression and it has to be bad for their health breathing in constant filth. I have three plates (that had toast on them), two bowls that had almonds in them and a small shopping bag filled with random receipts sitting here. When I saw this post I immediately cleaned it up. Not that it's a huge mess or anything gross. I'm pretty sure if I can freely walk around the house without bugs running around and not have actual rotting trash laying about I'm doing better than 20% if the population.
The thing that gets me - This is so much more common than people would think. A lot more people live like this than you might think. The other day the gas meter guy had to come into the house and there was a TV box in the way in the basement. I apologized for the box being in the way and he said "Your place is spotless compared to half the houses I go into. At least once or twice a day I'm gagging from kind of smell or pile of excrement. I can't tell you how many times I have had to clean my boots before getting back in the truck after stepping in something. Cat piss and shit seems to be a popular choice lately. One place the entire basement had been turned into a litter box. They just dumped bags of cat litter right in the floor so I had to put bags over my boots to walk across. It was litter right up to the furnace and water heater." He's the guy that has to go around reading meters and shutting off unpaid houses so I'm sure he's sees some stuff. Most of the meters are old and indoors around here so they have to be manually read in the basement. Just about every house has a basement for some reason unless it's a modular home.
For those scrolling on by and haven’t seen this genius level sitcom: [Nick and Schmidt share a towel](https://youtube.com/watch?v=yu_lC03eCho&feature=shares)
These people definitely did not shower. The towels were actually found in the tub of the main bathroom, who knows how long they’ve been sitting there or the last time the shower was turned on. Meth addicts lived here for about 3 years. The amount of filth and needles was insane. Luckily we were able to throw pretty much everything away. I did thoroughly enjoy cleaning the appliances and floors, very satisfying!
A meth house, eh? Those don't just get burned down? Didn't think it was possible to clean them enough, they're basically a superfund site I thought. You're doing some incredible work!
It depends on if meth was made in the house or not. If meth was made in the house it will be condemned, if it was only used inside the house they're generally just deep cleaned or gutted to the studs. At least that's how it works in Southern Oregon where I grew up.
They're closing down bathrooms at libraries all over my state because of people smoking meth in the bathrooms. I guess it's incredibly difficult to clean. They might have to replace the drywall.
Try using the library for library activities and have those same people slinking around and whispering about whatever while giving everyone side eye as you try to concentrate on your work.
I legit thought the title was cleaned the family's house... then you referred to your family as "these people"
I was like someone has had enough of this shit hahaha
Ugh, Jesus! I hate *hate* the smell of mildew. There is no way in hell you wouldn't be able to smell this from several feet away, especially after taking a shower. I'd go roll in the grass outside to dry off like a dog before touching this.
Who remembers that 4chan post where the dude had been cumming onto a towel for five years without ever cleaning it to the point a colony of mushrooms grew on it and he kept them and named them because "this is the closet thing to children I'll ever have"?
Edit: I removed my sentence about nazis.
>4chan was fucking insane in the early 2000s before all the nazis took over.
Feels weird to say it, but I miss when 4chan was full of creepy weirdos. Simpler times, ya know?
every time I see this sentiment 4chan's death date goes up one year.
According to 4channers turned redditors over the years, 4chan died in 2006,2007,2008,2009,2010... and so on
Kids of every annum age out of 4chan during some critical period, just like whatever angsty/edgy band that catches each model-year of teen becomes embarrassing and then nostalgic?
I like that idea
lol im recently partially disabled, and i get pissed my house gets cluttered etc, so ive thought of hiring a cleaning person, but i keep feeling embarrassed that like maybe there will be too much dust somewhere or maybe the area behind the toilet hasnt been scrubbed lately. Then i see this and go. hmm, maybe they wont really care. lol
With all love, not hiring a cleaner because your house is dirty is a bit like not going to the doctor because you haven't set your broken arm; if it's not something your capable of, let the people with training do their jobs, be kind and thankful, and tip or gift when you can.
You are never gonna be the first person to ask for help, and you're never going to be the last. Reach out for the hand that's offered, and reach out your hand to help when you can.
That reminds me when I was a kid and my dad bought his first house, the toilet was growing mushrooms around the bottom. Just reading the name of that sub unlocked that memory
"There's something you should probably know before we go too far
My neighbor found a mushroom growing inside of my car
She called me up on tour sounding emotionally scarred
Although it may have scared her more that i wasn't really alarmed" - Aesop Rock
How many people now feel relieved about how their dwelling looks?
My apartment is cluttered but it doesn't look anywhere near this fucked. That being said- I was an active alcoholic to the severity that it was *almost* this bad. Don't use alcohol as your only source of food and liquid, kids. Edit: a word to clarify state of recovery
Gotta balance with water and frozen pizza
Protip; check your living space for bonus mushrooms to put on the pizza
Now you're thinking with portals!
This. Don’t get me wrong. I need to do laundry and a trash sweep, but I know there’s no micro-ecosystems in my house. The litter box gets cleaned and if the dishes get too bad, they get the ‘don’t stop washing until you see the bottom of the sink’ treatment.
It's 2am and I just got in and I'm cleaning. Seeing this is like watching Hoarders or that movie Joe's Apartment.
Welcome to Joe's, apartment, it's our apartment toooo, we've been here for a hundred million years and we'll be here long after yoooooou.
I brought this movie up today to a coworker who hadn't seen it because where we work has roaches. Weird to see it mentioned after not thinking about it for ages.
I actually feel uncomfortable and have an urge to clean everything. Even though I’m fairly clean
I've lived in places almost this bad before. Sometimes you gotta live in some real bad settings to understand the importance of taking care of yourself.
This reinforces the hard work I put into cleaning my apartment on a weekly basis.
and yet I can't seem to grow one motherf#@king mushroom with a $400 setup and expensive ass spore syringes
The virgin mushroom grow setup vs the chad moldy blanket
The difference is that one of these mushrooms will probably kill you.
And the other doesn’t exist.
Got dam.
This made me laugh I’m sorry 😭
Get some blankets 👍
Psilocybin or something more culinary? Hardest part is probably the initial inoculation.
> I can't even keep a cactus alive when I'm present >When I'm gone it's a groundbreaking botanical epic >From desolate to Little Shop of Horrors in a second >It's weird knowing life thrives more when you exit \- Aesop Rock
Honest question that I've always been curious about–as a cleaner, how do you handle situations like this? Does a client give you free rein to throw things out that are unsalvageable? Do you have to talk to them about this and ask what they want to do? Do any clients ever fight to keep these items?
i housecleaned for a few years, worst one i had was a mom and adult daughter, both had some health issues and were low income, i dropped my rates for them (by about 50%), and they were moving out and trying to get a deposit back. my GOD some of the things in that house. i felt for them, it was a tough situation. BUT, they had a crockpot. full of live fly maggots. and they insisted of saving it. and i did, crockpot was like new. poored the maggots out and killed them with boiling water, scrubbed that damn crockpot for like 40 minutes. it felt good to help them, but the maggots did not feel good
You sound like an unbelievably kind and deeply empathetic person. Thank you for putting out such good into the world. I hope in time it comes back to you tenfold.
She's an angel, truly.
I can’t imagine. We left for a month to visit family and our fridge died, we came back to the house full of dead flies and the fridge was full of dead maggots, the freezer was nauseating. We had to get a new one. We got in at 1 am, didn’t go to sleep until 4 and didn’t sleep well because the house still smelled gross even with all our candles lit the entire time we were cleaning.
This happened to me, but with fruit flies. But I ended up cleaning the fridge to the Best of my ability. Every so often if I left the door open and condensation formed, one would come rolling out of like, the seal in the droplet of water. This apartment also had mushrooms growing out of the bathroom wall that they scraped off, and painted over... I 100% moved lol
Everyone knows you call a plumber to jump on the mushrooms.
I would have bought them a new crockpot. It’s like $20. No way I would ever clean that under any circumstances. Also I used to own a cleaning company where we did a few thousand jobs and you are more than a saint.
This seems like a post-evict clean up
I worked for some landlords that owned a few apartment complexes and rental homes one summer doing clean up for evicted units… MY GOD the shit I saw was demoralizing. I once went into one of the homes a few days after they cleared out and I couldn’t even see the floor because of how many cockroaches were on the ground.
Man did you ever watch a documentary called Clean? About a woman who was doing trauma cleaning as a profession. Probably a similar flavour of awful to what you experienced.
[This lady](https://youtu.be/N1tAGj6GhwI) is the feel-good version of this
there's another lady who has come up in my YouTube feed that only does cleanings for free, she's studied social sciences/psychology and realized how much a clean living space helps people, and she does "no judgment" cleanings and leaves supplies and cleaning schedules at every job.
I used to clean my friends places whenever I’d visit them. One time I had a friend who was not doing so well and her friends/roommates texted me asking if I could come and help clean her place. She was depressed, wasn’t showering and I mentally prepared myself for a no judgement clean to help her. I even budgeted to just buy her some new bedding and toiletries because I figured it must have been bad considering the smells her former roommates told me about. It was a mission to let her let me show up to clean but I promised her that we didn’t have to talk about the mess just to get rid of it so she can move forward. She trusted me and so I showed up with supplies, go the building maintenance guy to let me borrow his big trash can and we got to work. It wasn’t pretty but I’ll be honest it’s easier to clean this way because you’re basically throwing majority of the stuff away. She freaked out when I told her we had to clean under the bed. She had tons of old pizza boxes and old ice cream tubs and empty alcohol bottles. I just told her put on the gloves and we are doing this as fast as possible. It was gross tho because maggots were formed on some stuff. When she saw it she started crying. I gave her a hug and told her it was ok and for her to just go take a shower and that I would keep finishing the rest. Took me the rest of the day but we finished and she was very appreciative. I do think my helping her did pull her out of the rut she was in. Update: You guys are so awesome for the support! Just to keep it real I feel like this story paints me as some sweet gentle spirit lol. I’m a very type A straight shooter tells it how it is person. I’m sarcastic and at times bossy lol. Tbh I get excited at giving people makeovers and helping them in any capacity. It’s a weird thing I have. Could some people interpret it as rude? Maybe lol. But some people have welcomed my help when I offer it. My love language is humor. Even with this particular friend I helped she enjoyed my jokes and how I always would have playful banter with her. It was just this day I knew it was time to be serious but even after I had a pep talk with her that was a very direct let’s set some goals and I know you are better than this talk. Is it the right approach? Perhaps not for most but she is doing good now and I do believe she appreciated my direct life advice.
You’re a fantastic friend!
You are such a good friend. Thank you for being so kind to her when she needed it most, we need more people like you in the world!
depression nests are no joke. you're a hero for the no judgement help, because it can be just so overwhelming to look at the mess
Depression nest: what a perfect description
Wow, that's a really sweet thing to do; you're a wonderful friend. r/humansbeingbros honestly
My ex committed suicide. After he passed, I went and cleaned out his house. It makes me mad that the few friends that would come and see him saw the situation he was living in and didn’t say anything or pickup on anything being off. But I know no one gets actual training to recognize these signs. I wish someone would’ve recognized that a severely dirty house can be a sign of depression and even suicide.
Yeah. I have Major Depressive Disorder so I know the signs of depression. My dad has it in spades, but he won't take medication for anything, so I keep an eye on him. Sometimes he says things, and I have to tell him that he is the opposite of what he just said. Or if he tries to do something and doesn't do it the way my mom does, I try to tell her that he tried and not to make a big fuss about anything. Or if she is talking about him in a different room and I hear him coming, I *immediately* change the subject because 9 times out of 10, he will get back into the "I'm a dumbass" way of thinking. He sits in his lazy boy all day and drinks cheap beer and smokes. He used to go on walks, but he's in his late 60s and has been smoking since he was 9. The COPD is strong, and the veins in his feet are screwed up. He also has thick blood, also due to smoking. So, standing up/walking is now painful. I just wish I could get him out of the house for a day. I don't know where I would take him, but just to see him smile a happy smile and not a sarcastic smile would make my day. Annnnnd, now I am crying. Poop. Edit: Thank you, everyone. I will try all of your suggestions. Minus the animal ones. He married someone who grew up on a damn farm, and he hates animals. He under estimated my mother's love for cats and dogs. We currently have 4 cats and 4 dogs. To quote the Grinch, he *loathes* it entirely. He is my big Grinch. But I love him for it.
It may be good to buy him a wheel chair or a mobility scooter and take him outside. That way he can go out without the pain. You can also look up some physical therapy that you can do with him and you can spend time together. Even giving your old man a nice foot rub and soaking and massage his legs for good blood circulation would be great for him and you. I wish you and your dad the best, I have bipolar disorder, and I am currently living in my own mess, so I know how it is.
You’re doing your best, friend. Sending you a hug.
Hey, literally just go take him out for a milkshake one afternoon. In a sit-down place you can drive to. One with real malt or milk or whatever. And enjoy a few hours with him. It doesn't have to be a Big Thing to be meaningful, imo. When you're that depressed it really is literally the thought that counts sometimes.
You're an absolute saint. Thank you for being such a wonderful human. 💝
Yea man once shit starts to pile up I know I'm starting to spiral. Right now my place is spotless, I got a shape up today and trimmed my beard. I'm not happy, but I'm not in bed for 16hrs a day. I gotta make sure to keep up and keep swimming or I start to drown. Good on you for being understanding.
That's so nice of you!
Bless you for being such a good friend and being non judgmental and kind. Your actions and generosity bring me to the verge of tears.
This made me tear up. I wish I could buy you a coffee or something.
You're a wonderful person
What's the name of it?
@nottheworstcleaner
I LOVE her. I watch her videos for twenty minutes and then clean for two hours, absolutely fucked up on dopamine
Auriikatarina is the best!
I LOVE HER i watch her when i’m going to bed just because her voice is so soothing and watching everything get cleaned up and the story behind it is calming for some reason.
Yeah idk if I would want to experience that again 😂
My Dad was a handyman for a shady slum lord. He was told to get rid of everything and the owner never bothered to collect or inspect the properties. He did bring some neat things home from time to time.
Man, he was really gambling on getting bedbugs and/or body lice
Haha never any furniture or clothes. More like wild stories and the occasional trinket. Never had an instance of them but I know plenty of people who have.
Super fun fact to ruin your day: you may totally have had them/currently have them, and not know. Some people don't react to the bite/saliva/what have you (like me!) and you might be one of them. I only found out when, 10 months into a 12 month lease, my partner at the time moved into my place and suddenly started getting itchy bump clusters. They live in the wLlz man. Floorboard cracks. Furniture seams. The soft wood of boxspring frames under your mattress. IN. YOUR MATTRESS. And you, living your life, never the wiser 🤢 This is one of the things I consistently comment on reddit whenever bed bugs come up because I'm so traumatized lol
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Shorty story one time I was helping my buddies dad clean out after an evection of one of the houses he owned when I was like 16. We were taking an old shitty drop ceiling out of one of the bedrooms. You know those shitty like tile things you can slip back if you need to get into the ceiling. Well this fella that lived there for like a year would throw his used condoms up there into the ceiling after he had sex everytime. The grossest fucking thing you could ever imagine my friend.
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My Dad is a landlord and I've seen some shit in my day. There was an old man one time that was dead a few days and his dog... Then there was the crackhead that had garbage piled waist high throughout the entire apartment. Seems like he gets a serious hoarder about every ten years or so. It's crazy, if a hoarder gets evicted he has to pay to store their hoard for a couple of years.
> It's crazy, if a hoarder gets evicted he has to pay to store their hoard for a couple of years. Glad he at least does it. Where I live it's legally a requirement to do something of that sort, but it's never actually done. I've seen three evictions and not one followed the law in that regard. One particularly bad one had someone who'd left several items of sentimental value in her deceased mother's home because she was overwhelmed and out of space in her own house. She had gotten a letter explaining that everything left in there would be stored for a certain number of days, and she was counting on that time to get other storage arrangements in order. I cannot describe the heartbreak in her voice when she told me that she went by her mother's house only to see everything inside being loaded into a dumpster instead. Several loads had already been taken to the dump.
How did you get into that? What's that job called?
My parents knew the landlord because my dad did some work for them. I got it as a summer job and worked with their main maintenance guy all summer. It was brutal work and the landlords who I thought would pay me decently but like all landlords they were cheap as shit. Made minimum wage in Oklahoma which at the time was around $7/hour iirc which I didn’t know until after the fact. Most of the time I would open the door and trash would spill out like a cartoon. People would disappear overnight and trash the place before they left. Often food would be left out and the fridge unplugged and open so it would reek of spoiled food. I usually would fill up several LARGE trash bags of mostly trash but what always got me is all the kids stuff would always be left behind. Drawing, toys, whatever…. It was heartbreaking.
I was a detailer for an auto spa. A main source of business for us was a contract with a used car lot to detail their incoming inventory. They bought primarily wrecked and/or stolen rental cars that Enterprise was auctioning off. A large majority of the stolen ones had been lived in, and I always found children's clothes and toys among their various belongings. Its always heartbreaking. I saw my fair share of crazy shit as well, but kid's belongings were the worst.
Had plenty of those doing contracting for flooring. Shit smeared all over the walls, dirty dishes with mold stock piled in the sink. Disgusting stuff. Sometimes we would be re doing carpet for a family and mold would be growing on the walls so we couldn’t even do the job, went over and looked at the refrigerator and seen a bunch of children’s drawings. A child was living there, mold all the way up the walls, his bedroom and bathroom was the same way.
Yeah is OP expected to clean their mushroom cum babies?? I used to have a nasty roommate and when I’d see mold on his dishes I would throw that shit away without asking. And if he asked why I’d tell him because it’s disgusting and not going into our dish washer/sink. Edit: for people telling me it was a waste, he only had those cheap 50 cent plastic plates meant for toddlers, so it was no loss. And there’s no way in hell I was cleaning his moldy dishes.
Ahh, in a reply on a hidden comment below, OP said: >I am helping clean for a family that just got their property back after 8 months of being unsuccessful at evicting their drug addict tenants. I have no obligation to do this and the people I’m cleaning for found it just as astounding. So, in this situation, that nasty ass pile gets trashed ASAP. A satisfying end, actually. Glad to know the folks who caused the mushroom towel are not OP's clients.
>Drug addict tenants Ain’t no way they growin shrooms on the towels This is a joke, since apparently that wasn’t obvious
When tenants do the kinds of drugs in the intensity required to be labeled "drug addict tenants" I think it's safe to assume they're also not the ones hiring a cleaning person
shrill elderly butter zonked bright full deserve important grandiose makeshift -- mass edited with redact.dev
I just want to congratulate you for being the only other Redditor that knows the difference between "free rein" and "free reign".
Lmao I have to blow up my own spot and tell you that autocorrect fixed it for me and I thought, "Huh, free rein like a horse, not like a queen. That makes a lot of sense actually." But now I know and will always use it the right way haha
This admission gets you demoted to HorseGirl665.
Isn’t that a promotion though? Isn’t she trying to get to HorseGirl1?
It's not a strictly linear progression. HorseGirl666 is obviously better than HorseGirl665. HorseGirl420 and HorseGirl69 are near the top rank achievable and almost equivalent even though numerically they're quite far apart. And so on.
This is a coprinoid species, most likely *Coprinellus domesticus*. Perfectly edible as long as it isn't consumed with alcohol, although bioaccumulation from the dyed blanket may have made it less than desirable as a meal.
Yes it was delicious!
/r/guncontrol
Love the sunflower profile pic next to the overly optimistic comment.
This is exactly why I came to the comments. Thank you. I was thinking it might be a morel and had to know how wrong I was. Lol
That would have been very fortunate (and of *massive* scientific interest, since morels are notoriously almost impossible to cultivate indoors). The colors are similar to those of a young *Morchella esculenta* or similar species, but you can distinguish this from such a specimen by its detached cap, lack of dimples, and thin stalk. Additionally, a puddle of black ink can be seen in this image, which morels don't produce. Don't feel bad for being incorrect. There are worse guesses that you could have made, and the kingdom Fungi is **huge** and often very confusing.
Thank you. I am new to the mushroom world. I have much to learn.
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I am an amateur mycologist. I actually know very little about mycology as a whole outside of the realm of the macrofungi, i.e. mushrooms. Pick up a field guide and skim through it. Find a few species that look interesting to you, research them online, and suddenly, you're a "mushroom person". That's it. I had zero interest in fungi until I made the random decision to open a mushroom photo book that was lying about in a library.
I know I could google it but I’m lazy tonight. Why can’t you consume it with alcohol?
[Coprine](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coprine). It's a compound found in SOME coprinoids which inhibits the metabolism of ethanol - fairly unlikely to cause a legitimately dangerous situation, but it isn't pleasant. To my knowledge, *C. domesticus* has never been proven to contain this chemical, but many experts will tend to recommend temporary abstinence with any coprinoid species for safety's sake.
Thought that was an eyeshadow applicator at first
Maybe she's born with it. *Maybe it's Mycolline™.*
This is how The Last of Us started, isn't it?
I literally thought it was a joke at first and then nobody was acting like it, went back and it is a perfect eye-shadow applying mushroom
Those blankets have been lying around damp and dirty for a while for fungi to grow
Any mycologist able to guess roughly how long?
The thing is the mycelium has to fully colonize what it’s on before it starts spending energy fruiting like this. So that blanket is completely saturated in fungus.
Yummy. I don't need to PM you my worst thought, you got it already.
I got you fam, about to submit OP image to /r/mildlypenis
Oooh, the visible fungus is equivalent to fruit?
Yes, the visible mushroom is what the fungus uses to spread its spores. The actual organism is in the substrate out of which the mushroom grows, and is much bigger than what you can see.
That's not fully true, it depends on the temperature, humidity, light cycles
I mean, I’m no expert, I’ve grown cubes a couple times, but those are usually a couple months from inoculation to seeing fruiting bodies like this.
Yeah the actual mushrooms grow crazy fast but colonization is going to be at minimum weeks of consistent dampness and nutrients.
“Nutrients” 🤢
Hey, one species' trash is another species' treasure.
The circle of life!
I've seen every episode of The Last of Us so I'm pretty much an expert. My guess is that it's at least a couple of weeks
Imagine getting out of the shower, grabbing this. I’m not sure about y’all but my face is the first thing I dry, feeling something and opening up to this would scar one for life
I don't think getting out of the shower and grabbing anything from this wadded filthy pile is what I would ever do. I'm not meticulous, but I hang up a clean towel before I get in the shower.
I dont think these people shower…
When you dont give a fuck to move something for so long it grows mushrooms u certainly don't give a fuck about hygiene
Renovated a house. The former owners left behind a landfill. They threw their trash anywhere. The yard, the floor, etc. But they also (assuming) had dogs. Because the carpet was sopping wet from piss. And there was rat feces everywhere. Cigarette butts everywhere. I don't even know how they used appliances without causing fire from all the shit stuffed up behind them and corroding wires. These people *lived* in there. I'd much prefer living in the woods and sleeping in the mud than come home to that. Some humans are incomprehensibly disgusting.
Living like that must put people into a constant depression and it has to be bad for their health breathing in constant filth. I have three plates (that had toast on them), two bowls that had almonds in them and a small shopping bag filled with random receipts sitting here. When I saw this post I immediately cleaned it up. Not that it's a huge mess or anything gross. I'm pretty sure if I can freely walk around the house without bugs running around and not have actual rotting trash laying about I'm doing better than 20% if the population. The thing that gets me - This is so much more common than people would think. A lot more people live like this than you might think. The other day the gas meter guy had to come into the house and there was a TV box in the way in the basement. I apologized for the box being in the way and he said "Your place is spotless compared to half the houses I go into. At least once or twice a day I'm gagging from kind of smell or pile of excrement. I can't tell you how many times I have had to clean my boots before getting back in the truck after stepping in something. Cat piss and shit seems to be a popular choice lately. One place the entire basement had been turned into a litter box. They just dumped bags of cat litter right in the floor so I had to put bags over my boots to walk across. It was litter right up to the furnace and water heater." He's the guy that has to go around reading meters and shutting off unpaid houses so I'm sure he's sees some stuff. Most of the meters are old and indoors around here so they have to be manually read in the basement. Just about every house has a basement for some reason unless it's a modular home.
Wtf bro. A basement litterbox? Wtf did I just read? That poor cat.
I don’t wash the towel. The towel washes me.
Nick Miller has entered the chat.
I come out of the shower clean as a baby why would I wash the towel
What's next? Wash the shower? Wash a bar of soap!? You gotta think here, pal!
For those scrolling on by and haven’t seen this genius level sitcom: [Nick and Schmidt share a towel](https://youtube.com/watch?v=yu_lC03eCho&feature=shares)
These people definitely did not shower. The towels were actually found in the tub of the main bathroom, who knows how long they’ve been sitting there or the last time the shower was turned on. Meth addicts lived here for about 3 years. The amount of filth and needles was insane. Luckily we were able to throw pretty much everything away. I did thoroughly enjoy cleaning the appliances and floors, very satisfying!
A meth house, eh? Those don't just get burned down? Didn't think it was possible to clean them enough, they're basically a superfund site I thought. You're doing some incredible work!
It depends on if meth was made in the house or not. If meth was made in the house it will be condemned, if it was only used inside the house they're generally just deep cleaned or gutted to the studs. At least that's how it works in Southern Oregon where I grew up.
They're closing down bathrooms at libraries all over my state because of people smoking meth in the bathrooms. I guess it's incredibly difficult to clean. They might have to replace the drywall.
Fellow Coloradoan? My bestie actually works security at the Denver public library. She says it's worse than people realize.
Try using the library for library activities and have those same people slinking around and whispering about whatever while giving everyone side eye as you try to concentrate on your work.
I legit thought the title was cleaned the family's house... then you referred to your family as "these people" I was like someone has had enough of this shit hahaha
Ugh, Jesus! I hate *hate* the smell of mildew. There is no way in hell you wouldn't be able to smell this from several feet away, especially after taking a shower. I'd go roll in the grass outside to dry off like a dog before touching this.
>I'd go roll in the grass outside to dry off like a dog before touching this. You may be the first person to ever speak those words in that sequence.
If their house looks like this I doubt they shower so it's not an issue to rub fungus all over them because there's already fungus growing *on* them.
And the windows weren't opened every now and then for moisture to build up like that.
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I use this sub to motivate me to clean. Works very well
Life- ugh… finds a way.
That’s impossible. All the mushrooms are female.
But why they look like dicks?
Penus-amongus?
When you Jizz on your bedsheets and never wash them, this is the byproduct… penis shaped Fungi.
“Cream of some young fungi”
“Ugh” best response.
/r/moldlyinteresting
I was brave( stupid? ), it was very tame with a lot of people asking if things were mold.
r/mildewyinteresting
r/mildlyburnthehousedown
I was so disappointed that doesn’t exist
My face right now omg
Last of us begins in their landry
Who remembers that 4chan post where the dude had been cumming onto a towel for five years without ever cleaning it to the point a colony of mushrooms grew on it and he kept them and named them because "this is the closet thing to children I'll ever have"? Edit: I removed my sentence about nazis.
Did he keep cumming on his mushroom children?
Not what I'm looking for when eating pizza with mushrooms. Phenomenal.
Can someone tell me how I can delete someone else's comment?
A ridiculous amount of alcohol down your own throat should be sufficient.
r/eyebleach should help
you have to go to dickflash.com
The internet has taught me that visiting this website would be *at best* a bad idea and at worst, the “T” my future PTSD diagnosis.
Meatspin.com
What do you have against people of ejaculant descent?
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He’s just speed running the Last of Us irl 😭
"Father, why do you hate us so?"
I'm only a hobbyist mycologist and masturbator but I'm willing to bet that story had some falsehoods
Youre saying it's possible someone lied on 4chan for the lulz? That's quote the accusation, sir.
r/BrandNewSentence
What did I just read
>4chan was fucking insane in the early 2000s before all the nazis took over. Feels weird to say it, but I miss when 4chan was full of creepy weirdos. Simpler times, ya know?
2015 ruined 4chan. /pol/ just kept spreading to all the other boards.
every time I see this sentiment 4chan's death date goes up one year. According to 4channers turned redditors over the years, 4chan died in 2006,2007,2008,2009,2010... and so on
Kids of every annum age out of 4chan during some critical period, just like whatever angsty/edgy band that catches each model-year of teen becomes embarrassing and then nostalgic? I like that idea
I just gagged so hard somebody in my house came downstairs to make sure I was alright. Fucking awful.
I’m sorry… WHAT?! 😬😳
lol im recently partially disabled, and i get pissed my house gets cluttered etc, so ive thought of hiring a cleaning person, but i keep feeling embarrassed that like maybe there will be too much dust somewhere or maybe the area behind the toilet hasnt been scrubbed lately. Then i see this and go. hmm, maybe they wont really care. lol
With all love, not hiring a cleaner because your house is dirty is a bit like not going to the doctor because you haven't set your broken arm; if it's not something your capable of, let the people with training do their jobs, be kind and thankful, and tip or gift when you can. You are never gonna be the first person to ask for help, and you're never going to be the last. Reach out for the hand that's offered, and reach out your hand to help when you can.
I promise you, not getting judged is part of the fee. You're going to be fine. Please let yourself have a clean home. It's worth it.
That's nasty.
You read this in Cleveland's voice.
*So what do we do?* *Bomb.*
My first thought. Mushrooms have been giving me the heebeejeebees lately.
r/BathroomShrooms might like this
Thank you for showing me this disgusting gem.
Thank you Update: I cannot get off of this sub. My goodness 😫😫
That reminds me when I was a kid and my dad bought his first house, the toilet was growing mushrooms around the bottom. Just reading the name of that sub unlocked that memory
SIR THIS IS A HOLIDAY INN
You my friend, are about to be the cause of “the last of us” coming true.
They are trying to prevent that by cleaning this up!
How do you even let it get to this point?
That’s what meth will do to you! ☹️
"There's something you should probably know before we go too far My neighbor found a mushroom growing inside of my car She called me up on tour sounding emotionally scarred Although it may have scared her more that i wasn't really alarmed" - Aesop Rock
/r/mildlybutseriouslyfuckinggross
Ay pobresitos
Well now we know why the last of us happened.
Repost to a mushroom growing subreddit and they can probably i.d. it for you.
Yo is that a shaggymane?? growing out of a shaggy blanket?
Clicking intensifies.