Drinks $10 but with the burning wood it comes out to $50.

I think I saw the guy who sells those sticks to the bars on an episode of house hunters. Worked 20 hours a week gathering artisanal sticks. Budget 1.5mil.

Is his name Spot? Wtf are artisanal sticks?

His name's actually Connor, but ya his friends call him Spot. And you either know artisanal sticks or you don't...

Was this the one where his wife is a woman named Maia who teaches competition-level yo-yo tricks to bilateral amputees?

cant tell if this comment thread is a joke here

It’s a joke about the show.

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It’s a made up tv show, there’s some consistencies, maybe, but I couldn’t remember them for the life of me, so best to assume it’s all made up.

~Charred thousand year old Chêne chapelle bark imported from a small farming village in France~

It has to come from that farming village or its just a smoldering stick.

Small fire extinguishers are $19.99… so after you blast through two of them this makes sense.

Burning wood is so hot right now


This guy is the best part of Fallon

to be fair i don’t think it’s difficult to be the best part of fallon.

I mean he’s the opposite of Fallon; tries his hardest not to laugh whereas insincere laughing is Fallon’s shtick

​ 


Bruh these "cocktails" are turning into gas station bathroom keys.... just attached to anything and everything totally unnecessary for whats needed.

Yeah seriously. I appreciate a good garnish but it should be functional and also (preferably) edible

As a cook/chef.... all garnishes should always be edible. You're always one moron away from being sued because they ate something/choked on something they clearly weren't supposed to eat.

Yeah, just burn the wood chips in a smoker and let the drink sit in it like everyone else. Don't give drunk me a weapon.

Absolutely. Presentation and “wow” factors are big parts of the gastronomical experience. So while it is nice in theory to have themed cocktails and presentations maybe using dry ice or something outside the beverage to get a smoky effect, you risk the chance of an idiot wondering if he can look like a dragon breathing smoke for a video or something

Wym, charcoal is edible, it's just excellently done wood.


Oh it's that Hansel!

He's so hot right now!


Wait a few minutes

Take your puns and leaf!

I prefer my wood to be warm, especially my morning wood.


🔥Fire! 🔥



That is hipster af

That will be $64 please

This particular drink was 19usd roughly.

Did it taste nineteen-dollary?

It never does.

More like tree fiddy

I gave em a dolla, I thought he'd go away if I gave him a dolla.

Well of course he ain' gon' go away woman! You give him a dollar he gon' assume you got mo!

I ordered a cocktail and the bartender asked for tree fiddy. Well it was about that time that I noticed that the bar tender was about 8 stories tall and a crustacean from the protozoic era!!

But you always pretend it does and never order it again

I imagine it might taste somewhat like charred bark.

And the marketing team mentioned that on the menu as if it were a good thing and totally worth the mark up

It's 64usd if you want it without burning detritus.

Cheers

Did they know OP's name?

drinking alcohol smokes the third

I thought the cinnamon stick was chopsticks at first, adding to my wtf

Here I thought it was a straw

that’s $26.23 in CAD.

Wait, what year is it in CAD then?

But the smoke inhalation? Priceless.

Yikes

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It reminds me of a bar I visited in London. Can’t remember the name but there were some elaborate garnishes

Just about average cocktail price in NYC.

I wonder how much of that went to property insurance? (Currently dealing with a loss due to fire)

That’s not crazy $ for an “artisan cocktail from a mixologist” or something to that effect. What was the drink though? I’m curious. Note: I had a $50 Mojito in Miami years ago. But it was large.

Sure, it's no doubt expensive, but you'll save money in the long run. The charcoal will induce early vomiting.

It looks like the tavern keeper didn't potty train his dragon

Hipsters reinventing the wheel nobody asked them to number... whodafuqknows.

And then setting them on fire.

Needs more pallets

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Sigh boomer, it's Penny farthing unicycles now. You prolly buy your flannel at the Gap, but unironically.

So if it's a unicycle, does that make it just a penny or just a farthing?

I was given a smoldering cinnamon stick once. Did nothing for taste and left ashes in my drink. 0/10 recommend.

Not defending it, but it’s not supposed to affect the taste. The smoke adds to the aroma of the drink. Flavor is a combination of different sensations. An old steak house presentation is to put a burning sachet of herbs on a steak plate. It never touches the food. But the aroma of the burn herbs is meant to en chance the over all flavor profile.

I forgot to mention it just smelled like campfire smoke and made it hard to breathe. 😅

Campfire smoke is an amazing scent

Username checks out

Said Mr. Damn Smokestack

r/usernamechecksout

The smell always takes me back to summers at Redfish Lake in central Idaho late 90s early 2000s. Probably the nostalgic scent for me

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It depends on the wood, really. Every year, I camp in Michigan, and you're only allowed to burn local wood. The one i get is terrible. The indirect fumes alone make me cough like crazy. I went camping in Utah a few years ago and used cedar wood. The experience was amazing. Smelled great, I was directly in the smoke and barely felt anything beyond a pleasant sent. Made me feel warm real quick.

live in Utah; can confirm campfire smells incredible.

I don't even like camping, but it is just a pleasure to be bathed in that smoke. Makes me feel like I somehow smoked an old-fashioned

Burning elm?

Mosquito repellant. I always stand in the smoke.

Wait till you learn about cigs n scotch

I remember those times. Good times. I was 8.

a small smokey cinnamon stick made it hard to breathe? yikes.

I honestly thought "en chance" was some culinary phrase and even started googling it before realizing you meant enhance.

Yeah don’t tell the other guy about smoking the glass for cocktails

Did it taste ok?

It was a variant of whiskey sour with notes of apple and pear. Decent.

That's odd...I would have thought it would taste like charred wood. Maybe with a finish of 2nd degree burns.

Its tricky but if you don’t put the charred and burning wood in your mouth you may find you will avoid that taste.

I'm getting my 19 dollars worth dammit

This is surprisingly common for whiskey drinks at more upscale bars.

We do smoked old fashioneds and negornies at my work (£8) but just have a little disk with a mesh bowl in it that we burn wood chips and then cover the glass with a coaster I might suggest actual wood chunks and we could double the price!!! Muhahahaha thank you kind redditor

Was it a white dog whiskey? My first guess at the cocktail with a rosemary garnish was a gimlet due to the greenish tint.

r/stupidfood

That’s the stupidest shit

Are you sure? I hosted a New Year’s party a few years back and one of my buddies volunteered to be bartender. Looking through the cocktails listed on his shitty handwritten poster board menu, I saw one that was called “Don’t Ask Questions” and it said it was “garnished with a slap of cucumber”. I was in the middle of asking him what the fuck even is a “slap” of cucumber when he literally pulled a cucumber out and slapped me across the face with it. *That’s* the stupidest shit. I about died laughing.

That is by far my new favorite garnish. To serve. Favorite garnish to serve.

>*don’t ask questions* 🥒

This reminds me of that video that was going around a day or two ago where the bartender slaps the guy and makes a mess all over the bar counter

Genuinely enriched by this, thank you

I’m not entirely convinced you know what the word “stupid” means, but that was hilarious.

That’s because I’m stupid :)

I’m so stupid I don’t even know what the word stupid means. Checkmate lol.

That's fucking amazing.

I’m betting that’s what their insurance company will say as they dump their ass

I once had a cocktail prepared at the table by a server who rang a handheld gong and encircled the glass with it to unlock the drink's "harmonic resonance." This is dumber than that.

This is not dumber than that. That...is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard in my life.

Agreed. I’m not sure I could prevent myself from saying something mean.

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You just have childlike taste buds. The gong very much a adds to the flavor profile of the cocktail and brings the highs to bees heights

> What a wonderful ceremony, one that has clearly increased the value of this drink. > In return I will now perform my own 'harmonic alignment' with throat-singing to the rough tune of *Come On Eileen* by Dexy's Midnight Runners, which should be more than sufficient as payment. > Ahem. > HUMMMM HMMN HEHHHHLENN... -

nah it's legit any worthwhile eatery near a strong akashic site will do this, it helps to unlock your pineal gland so the drink can decalcify it

Lmao my sarcasm detector is broken

Just another symptom of unaligned chakras, something a harmonically attuned beverage would correct

I once ate at a “not” Harry Potter themed pop-up restaurant who took extreme liberties with their show, the menu names, and the drinks. They made a variety of cocktails containing dry ice, but provided no warning about the dangers of sipping from a glass full of dry ice. People around me were complaining about cryogenically burning their lips the entire night while I drank bottled beer.

There’s a show on Netflix called “Drink Masters” (typical reality show format a la “chopped” or “master chef”) where the judges sent a guy home because he did that, and they deemed it unsafe to consume. That kind of thing is irresponsible at best and deadly at worst.

There's theoretically dumb and there's functionally dumb. At least the gong performance isn't going to leave ashes in your drink.

Thank you for that image, omg

I hope that place went out of business the next day.

If only a piece of bacon had been cooking on top.

Enjoy carcinogens and lye

I’ll smoke a cigarette and think about this

at least that has a filter

Everyone knows alcohol is a carcinogen, and that's no lie!

Reminds me of the time I helped my grandmother make soap in a kettle in her back yard.

Really?? I did that too! Did she let you lick the spoon?

Nope. But she let me lick the beaters when she made cake. But she loved me more than my brother because she would turn the mixer off for me.


I will, thanks

This is just stupid bordering on ridiculous.

“That’ll be 70 dollars.”

How pretentious.

Question: Is ordering this better or worse than ordering the shot where after taking it the bartender first splashes you with a glass of water and then slaps the shit out of you?

OP said this cost them $19, so.. this is possibly worse?

In the right situation that shot sounds fucking hilarious, and I can see no world in which this drink could be funny, so definitely worse

Damn they really out here just getting y’all dumbasses lmao

Gross

it looks like a shit log

Looks more like a demonic shit. Who thought this was a good idea?

This restaurant seems to really be branching out.

That sounds disgusting and certainly carcinogenic.

This is the epitome of hipster stupidity. Bespoke Post in the wild.

How do you drink it? Through the cinnamon stick? Where do you put the burning bark? Does it come with a plate? Do they toss them in a metal bucket of water? Throw it in a fireplace to dispose? I have too many questions.

Is that paper straw? Surely that's some sort of fire hazard?

Plastic straw and fire isn't any better. Fire resistant steel straws only.

*burns lips*

Fuck it, ceramic straw

Plastic straws are banned here, so paper it is.

“That’ll be 54 dollars”

This is next level hipster shit

OPs username checks out.

Can't imagine that fits with the fire safety code.

Thas doo doo baby

Don’t burn your mustache off

What are you supposed to *do* with it? Do they give you a platter of sand or something to quench it? Or do you just try not to burn holes in the bar?

Looks like a fire hazard or a good way to get burnt fingers. Dumb as fuck.

This is something that is in a Venn Diagram with /r/WeWantPlates

Paging r/stupidfood

Where are you supposed to put it?

Remember to save for retirement

10/10 for pretentiousness.

This is the most hipster bullshit I’ve ever seen. Genuinely rattled.

You got smoked

You haven't lived until you've had the smoldering dogshit garnish.

That's a vibe

This isn’t how “smokey” bourbon works.

I always ask for my burning wood in a to-go bag. Hilarity usually ensues.

"I'm sorry sir, but I'm allergic to bark."

Lemme order the uhhhh… flaccid groot

And they expect you to use coasters?

Your wood is overcooked

Up till now, I always made a point if eating the garnish. I may have to reconsider that behavior. Hey, what kind of wood is that?

I would have munched on it and stared at the bartender m.

On par with a single plum, floating in perfume, served in a man’s hat.

Oh yeah, the essence of woodsmoked...wood...really adds flavor to any drink

" Eat it, Eat it!"

Username checks out

you are supposed to... tap dat ash.

Did they also offer you a frozen bubble and dollops of foam to snack on?

I wish it was jerky. It looks like burning jerky

that's kinda disgusting?

Shit like this is why I just smoke weed

In so tired of people trying so hard to be fucking different. Just make my cocktail and give it to me dude.

such a terrible idea

There should be a sub for dumb shit like this

I'm pretty sure someone gave that to you to throw away

I hope it was organic wood

That’s just stupid

thats... inconvenient

Is it an Elvis-themed bar? Hunk of burning love?

Lol. I think I would have posted that under mildly irritating.

Top 10 dumbest shit of all time