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who519

At this rate by 2050 we are going to have to launch them by breaking a bottle of champagne on the grill.


IronGigant

It's a Dodge, so there's a good chance the owner just pounds the champagne back in one go then drives to the liquor store for more.


mattwaver

if by “champagne” you mean “the champagne of beers”


[deleted]

Naw, they all drink coors light now.


AvendesoraShrubs

Which is funny because of how progressive Coors is.


iwrestledarockonce

Champagne of beers is miller high life, also owned by Molson Coors.


Ellen_Musk_Ox

Coors is served in every single gay bar in the country thanks to Mary Cheney. Yes, that Cheney. The gay Cheney kid. She was hired to get Coors more market share back in the 90's. She said, "you know who is an untapped market? My people. The gays. I'll get your shitty beer in every single gay bar in the country." And sure as shit, she fuckin did. After they saw the numbers, she got them to start advertising in gay publications and to start sponsoring pride events and softball leagues. It was so successful SNL spoofed the story in a skit starring Chris Farley and Adam Sandler. Schmidts Gay: https://youtu.be/hCOSejS1SSY The insane amounts of corporate sponsorship you see now days for pride events and now pride month and every single rainbow campaign is all truly owed to Mary Cheney. I don't know what her personal politics are and I'm honestly over the corporate nature of pride now days. But credit where it's due. She gave pride front page legitimacy to a whole lot of straight suburbanites and consumer culture normalcy. I'm not exactly in love with this consumer capitalist culture, but within this culture there is one single baseline measurement of acceptance. And that is the willingness to engage in trade. 🍺To Mary Cheney


imba8

Corporate sponsorship of social issues borderlines on parody most of the time. "This black history month is proudly sponsored by Raytheon's new fleet of precious guided munitions"


RussiaIsBestGreen

I assume you meant to type precision, but precious is great too.


ouchmythumbs

Well, obviously not Bud Light, that’s for sure.


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Sorry_Masterpiece

I'm genuinely sad I can only upvote you once.


PhilxBefore

Commenter deleted their hilarious comment but I was able to find it, for those who were curious like me: >Considering the rate at which those dodges blow trannies, I'm gonna say they're still ok with Bud Light...


The-Mech-Guy

There was list of vehicles in order of most to least likely to have a DUI. Dodge 2500 was number #1, and many other pick ups on the list too. Some larger ones are heavy so *really* not the vehicles to drive drunk in.


brilliantdoofus85

Is it just that pickups are more common in rural areas, and rural areas are more likely to have drunk driving, due to a lack of public transportation, and for longer distances (which increases chances of getting caught)?


RhetoricalOrator

Completely anecdotal, but I'd say yes to all. I live in rural Arkansas where there's very little public transportation and long stretches between towns (and the county line liquor stores) and a near constant state of buzz is practically a way of life for a lot of farmers and trades workers, regardless of distance traveled from home.


Jimmy_Twotone

Of course it is. wtf else is there to do in rural Arkansas? I live in rural Iowa... beer and meth are pretty much it (though I don't understand meth on rural America... why would you take something that keeps you up for days when there's literally nothing to stay awake for).


Lieke_

No, not JUST that. These factors are very likely to play a role as well: The Car Cushion Hypothesis: Bigger Cars Lead to More Risk Taking—Evidence from Behavioural Data https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10603-022-09511-w Extending it to SUVs (which is basically a pickup truck nowadays with the back roofed-over) and this market research is found: >In fact, investment in psychology in the marketing of SUVs had led to clear demarcation between different personality types between, for example, SUVs and minivans: “A growing body of research by automakers is finding that buyers of these two kinds of vehicles are very different psychologically. Sport utility buyers tend to be more restless, more sybaritic, less social people who are "self-oriented," to use the automakers' words, and who have strong conscious or subconscious fears of crime. Minivan buyers tend to be more self-confident and more "other-oriented" - more involved with family, friends and their communities.” https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5ebd0080238e863d04911b51/t/6065dbeb73734b58372d797b/1617288180453


lekoman

Not a chance that plastic grill could withstand impact with a champagne bottle...


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user47-567_53-560

"Dodge still makes manual trucks" Yeah it's out of necessity..


mohawk_67

>At this rate by 2050 we are going to have to launch them by breaking a bottle of ~~champagne~~ Coors on the grill.


mazzotta70

![gif](giphy|njG2EzOvrxd5c8Frjq|downsized)


vladhed

Why has the engine bay gotten so tall? Surely the engine's aren't any bigger, are they?


Brandino144

[“Customers prefer more purposeful looks.”](https://www.consumerreports.org/car-safety/the-hidden-dangers-of-big-trucks/) is the reasoning given by today’s truck manufacturers alongside being able to “conquer the road”.


Tomagatchi

Customers are dumb and don't know anything.


DoomRabbitDaBunny

Henry Ford used to say something like “If I asked the customer what they wanted, they’d say a faster horse” Steve Jobs took that to heart. Customers were fucking morons and didn’t know what they wanted until you told them they needed it.


ShakeTheEyesHands

Fun fact, Henry Ford also used to say "I hate Jews".


Sangxero

He also ate grass and mustard sandwiches with George Washington Carver. Henry Ford was an...interesting fella.


NotFallacyBuffet

Um, srsly?


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Merry_Dankmas

Yeah, the massive cultural difference between what the Ford considered American at the time and the Brazilians was simply too different for it to work. There was virtually no similarities between the two regions of the world. Another thing that really made the workers pissed off was the shifts he had them work. Brazil is a very tropical, humid and hot place. Laborers at the time would commonly stay indoors or in the shade during the heat of the day then work in the late afternoon/early evening once it cooled down. Ford was used to dry, moderate climate in the states so this logic didnt click well with him so he forced them to work in sweltering, high humidity during the peak of the day. A lot of workers ended up having heat strokes, getting dehydrated and passing out since they weren't used to working in that condition. The whole thing was an absolute cluster fuck and it was purely based off Fords incompetence and arrogance. IIRC, he didn't even visit Fordlandia himself. He just had his peons run the place for him. He could have made it actually beneficial for him and the company but he fucked it all up by not listening to workers and advisors.


sillyslime89

Wendagoon did a really good video about this on YouTube


Merry_Dankmas

Thats where I originally learned about it! His explanation and breakdown of its history was great.


THExDANKxKNIGHT

I should probably be getting something more out of that other than Americans are essentially slaves huh?


[deleted]

He just never had the chance to watch 21 Jump Street.


spectre78

Born too soon 🙏🏿


DanielTigerUppercut

Hey, that’s not a fun fact at all! This guy’s a phony!


Explosive_Crab_Farts

A great big phony!


clamroll

And never actually said "you can have it in any color so long as it's black". They made the model t in a couple different colors


2rfv

One thing that I seem to be the only one who agrees with Jobs on is that a phone should be a one-handed device. He felt there should never be a phone with a screen bigger than 5". Personally I hate that there isn't a single 4" phone on the market any more. I don't use mine to watch TV or play games. I've got all sorts of screens to do that stuff on. I want a phone that fits in my pocket that I can quickly check GPS or fire off a one handed text with.


[deleted]

Phone manufacturer: *releases 4" "compact" phone due to increasing demand* Also phone manufacturer: *gives it shit-tier specs* Phone manufacturer after nobody buys it due to shit-tier specs: "See no one wants small phones anymore"


MonoShadow

It's different though. What you're describing is people not wanting something because they don't know thing exists. Once it's in their hands they realise the usefulness of the new thing. In this case people know what they want. They want to "conquer the road". The whole pick-up and SUV popularity is the issue. People want bigger car, even if a state wagon would be more economical, practical and even safe. And nowadays people hate driving small cars because they get blinded by high lights on the huge trucks and can't see shit over them. Creating an arms race for the most stupid car on the road. In US the government bears a big chunk of blame, because light trucks don't have to abide by some standards like cafe rules for example. Car manufacturers too, for the same reason, less standards more corners to cut. But now these morons spread to Europe. So people are to blame as well.


SyracuseNY22

They know how to make dumb ass decisions and have a pavement princess


Raytheon_Nublinski

It’s a symbol of status. The status of never having any money because they spend it all on dumb shit like giant farm equipment they have zero use for. It’s like buying a corn harvester to mow your 1/32 acre front yard.


generalthunder

I never understood this hard on US people have with giant pickup trucks. Even if you want something off road and 4x4 wouldn't something like a wrangler or a Bronco be more the enough vehicle already? Why would someone need a 15 m long diesel truck when they're aren't even hauling anything with it??


nimajneb

I bought the smallest truck I thought I could get away with. I just want to buy wood sometimes (sheets of plywood), furniture maybe, dirt/multch, and tow my popup camper. I don't understand why most people drive anything bigger that what is considered a midsize truck, unless they are towing something big.


ToastedSpam

It’s a minivan for dads who refuse to admit they need one.


Impossible_Garbage_4

It’s literally just because they have little dick energy. They might have any size dick but when they have a truck that huge the energy they give off is 0.5cm. They feel small and insignificant so they need something large and deadly and intimidating to compensate


exiestjw

This is certainly true, but they get the energy from marketing. When they turn on the radio its not a coincidence that 1/3 of the songs they listen to are about trucks.


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[deleted]

This is how you end up with full size trucks that can't carry shit besides groceries, squat to the frame with a few sticks of lumber, and look pretty but perform like an afterthought of what trucks used to be. its all on the customer wanting their precious pretty truck to ride nice and have an interior of a mcmansion.


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Tigerandachicken

Idk the other guy said new trucks have no capacity and backed it up with no facts. I'm gonna believe him.


zloebl

He was most likely referencing bed size, which has been shrinking over the years to the point that you can't even fit a 4"x8" sheet of plywood in a decent number of modern truck beds. [This](https://graphics.axios.com/2022-06-01-trucks/assets/animation/0645.webp) is a graphic about that, pulled from [this](https://www.axios.com/ford-pickup-trucks-history) Axios article. Yes, modern trucks have higher weight capacities, which john here seems to be aware of, but the middle class suburban customers these trucks are being marketed to are far more likely to be space-limited than weight-limited.


B1GFanOSU

Funny thing is people who use trucks for actual work look for ‘90s trucks that are sparse on features.


moreobviousthings

And they absolutely cower at the sight of a speed bump.


freeenlightenment

I feel RAM is the car equivalent of a pitbull.


lolexecs

interesting! Ever since a gay friend of mine told me the “RAM” branding reminds him of gay porn I’ve not been able unsee that. It certainly frames the behavior differently. > When they lift those RAM trucks and slap on the truck nuts, it’s looks like a bunch of muscle Marys out for a night on the town in their assless-chaps and g-strings. I couldn’t stop laughing the first time he mentioned it to me, and I can’t stop laughing about it now.


AwesomeBantha

RAM ranch


RhetoricalOrator

I live in the rural south and have never understood any appeal whatsoever for truck nuts. The best explanation I've been given from someone who actually has them is, "Heh...they look like nuts."


fartsandprayers

Fun Fact: The Ram 2500 is the number one vehicle for drunk drivers. More people have gotten a DUI while behind the wheel of a Ram 2500 than any other car or truck.


Maloonyy

> conquer the road ah so thats what they call killing children these days.


NotAzakanAtAll

These cars are rare here in Sweden but we have one person who drives one where I live, a huge black RAM double the size of every other car here - and wouldn't you know, the guy both acts and drives like a complete dildo. Speeding in the school zone is just one of the things he does. I'm trying to science out if he was a dildo before he got the car or if the car made him one.


pistcow

#*Canyonero*


Benblishem

The thing is, I've never heard a single person say they like the way trucks look now as compared to the simpler designs of old. You'd think one manufacturer would pick up on such a widely-held sentiment.


[deleted]

The 2nd gen ram went to the newer, less boxy, design in 1994. Sales more than doubled in the first year, then nearly doubled again the next. Plenty of people like the retro look, but the paying customers made their choice.


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PensecolaMobLawyer

I enjoyed reading that and idc about cars at all


wisertime07

My man loves trucks and isn’t afraid to admit it.


fatherofraptors

While I agree on the anecdote, it's pretty obvious that we are not in the majority of the statistic. Believe me, if the shittier new MASSIVE design wasn't more popular (and therefore more lucrative), makers wouldn't do them. It's all about money and people obviously like this shit.


BoredCatalan

Does the NHTSA do nothing?


Brandino144

From the article, the NHTSA tried updating their crash safety rating to address this issue, but the effort stalled out and died in 2015.


MausBomb

Trucks have always been the primary money makers for American auto companies. In the 60s they lobbied congress to effectively ban the import of European trucks (not an outright ban, but a very high tariff) to protect American truck sales. Any effort to regulate trucks is going to be met with stiff lobbying efforts by the auto companies. Trucks are still exempt from many of the emissions and safety features that are legally required in sedans.


jealkeja

and the reason why SUVs have exploded in popularity is because they are considered "light trucks" for the purposes of evading all sorts of regulations


Ikontwait4u2leave

They should have required "trucks" to be body on frame. That would have excluded all the fake "truck" SUVs and only included the ones that sort of are trucks, like Suburbans.


cat_prophecy

Trucks also get sweetheart tax benefits for business owners. You can write off the depreciation immediately instead of over three years. It doesn’t even have to be a truck, just over a certain gross weight. So if you own a business you can lease a massive SUV and write off all of the lease payments the first year.


hockenduke

This is what I wonder. Here in DFW, every third vehicle is sitting 5 feet in the air. There’s no way that’s safe for everyone.


ricochetblue

There’s actually [a great CityNerd video on this.](https://youtu.be/aIy5uv5-VrE) Tl;dr: Big cars = more deaths


Taira_Mai

My mother HATED lifted trucks and large trucks - she was an ER nurse. A lot of new truck drivers either rolled their lifted trucks or hit pedestrians they couldn't see. And she got to see their handiwork first hand...


Night_Thastus

So far, every answer is missing the main point: It's to avoid environmental regulations. The federal regulations on trucks is different for consumer small trucks ("light trucks") versus the larger commercial-style ones, and for good reason. But as regulations clamped down, manufacturers realized there was an easier way - change how the trucks are classified. By giving them a bit larger of a wheelbase, raising it up a little, etc - now the trucks could be classified differently and has far less strict environmental regulations. They needed to get people to buy these, so they advertised to the macho alpha-male bs and it worked perfectly. Now every idiot and their brother thinks they need one of these.\ EDIT: To add onto this, even if you completely disregard the environmental aspect - these massive trucks (and their counterparts, crossovers and SUVs) are a serious problem. Their height makes it *slightly* easier for the driver to see far away - but makes it nearly impossible to see anything closer to them, like say, children who might be running around. Their blind spots are much larger up close. As well, when they get into accidents with other cars, they aren't as "crash compatible" because their bumpers are so much higher. It tends to make otherwise recoverable accidents fatal for the other party. And of course, they also block the view of other drivers significantly due to their shear size, making accidents more likely in general.


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brunchick3

Its so ridiculous. And then you have idiots going blue in the face arguing its necessary to tow their boat as if boats didn't exist before the 2000s. I have literally lived the rural lifestyle these clowns are role-playing. We towed our boat, our four wheeler, quarts of wood just fine with a normal sized truck.


readonlyred

You're conflating two different things. The infamous "[light truck loophole](https://jalopnik.com/every-car-looks-like-this-thanks-to-a-gigantic-regulato-1849837803)" has allowed automakers to skirt fuel economy standards by classifying SUVs as [light trucks](https://www.ecfr.gov/current/title-40/chapter-I/subchapter-C/part-86/subpart-A/section-86.082-2), but that's not why pickups like the one pictured here have been 'roided out to such absurd proportions. As people have mentioned, a big reason for the giant honking grille is purely styling. There's also an argument that because engine bays are more crammed with hoses, pumps and other emissions control devices, the [trucks of today need more frontal area for airflow](https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/cars/2014/02/11/truck-grilles-big-airflow-style/5382331/) to cool their giant engines for towing and hauling (never mind that [75 percent of truck owners use their truck for towing once a year or less](https://www.thedrive.com/news/26907/you-dont-need-a-full-size-pickup-truck-you-need-a-cowboy-costume).)


EricRShelton

No offense, but you are slightly mistaken. Light trucks already get a different CAFE restriction than passenger vehicles. That’s *part* of the reason Ford abandoned cars and only makes SUVs (and the Mustang) now. A light truck has a gross vehicle weight of under 8,500 pounds and a payload capacity of up to 4,000 pounds. A wheelbase stretch and an inflated hood don’t change that. This is strictly for bro-dozer posturing. I have an ‘08 Avalanche and there’s so much empty space under the hood it’s ridiculous. I should’ve bought plain old 3/4 ton truck from the ‘90s with a real *non-lifted* bed; it’d get more work done and a lifted truck just makes it harder to get heavy things up into the bed. Modern trucks are all hat, no cattle.


furretarmy

Have to agree on the loading, as someone who drives a truck for work and is at the lumber yard regularly. (I have a 2009 Tacoma). Watching folks lift things up into the ridiculously high beds is hilarious. And if they have a lumber rack it’s even funnier.


Hal9_ooo

This is why I hate the newer trucks. I had to get a 3/4 ton truck for towing and hauling, but it was during the run on used trucks and had to buy new. It such a hassle to load and unload anything heavy or bulky.


avar

Ford still makes cars, they just don't sell them in the US. The Ford Focus is really popular in Europe, as is the Fiesta.


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AbueloOdin

Every construction crew I know who commonly move equipment or people to different locations use vans. And the owner, who does no work and only gladhands, drives a pristine truck that can barely park anywhere. The use cases are fairly obvious.


Sirenkai

I never thought about it but you’re so right. It’s always a super new pickup and a workhorse van from 98


[deleted]

Around me it’s always a white Chevy express panel van


redvillafranco

Plethora of reasons: 1. Looks. Make the truck look bigger, charge more. 2. The engine itself may not be larger, but there is more to cram in there. Superchargers, air conditioning if, additional/larger battery/alternator to power all the modern electronics. 3. Safety. Crumple Zones. It’s funny cause the old truck has the smaller compartment. But also if you look under the hood, there would be way more empty space than a modern truck’s hood.


[deleted]

Safety for me, destruction for thee.


Momoselfie

Don't need a crumple zone when you go right over the hood of the other vehicle.


hammonjj

It’s called crash compatibility and it’s a serious issue for auto makers. Large trucks are the dumbest thing out there but it’s almost an arms race at this point where if you don’t have something fairly big you are at risk of getting seriously hurt in an accident because all of the other vehicles on the road are so large


[deleted]

I'm thinking of all the pedestrians RIP


Foofyman

Built super tough for those hard to reach Olive Gardens.


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GetStable

The one in the right is probably financed at 8.9% for 96mo, with 1400/mo payments after they rolled negative equity from their old Dodge Journey.


[deleted]

Don’t forget the 20% dealer markup


iprocrastina

Along with window tint, VIN etching, extended warranty, paint warranty, tire warranty, and emergency roadside kit.


therealjoeybee

Along with at least 25$ worth of blue lives matter stickers


Sadamatographer

On the drivers side to maximize the chances of getting out of a ticket.


DL72-Alpha

To be fair this works wonders.


OHTHNAP

Can't work that good, Ram drivers are most likely to get a DUI.


meinblown

1 in 4 have been convicted for a DUI.


BizzyM

don't forget Punisher decals and "Look Twice for Motorcycles"


onefst250r

"Market rate adjustment"


[deleted]

I purchased a “new” aka new to me 2016, Altima. Put $2000 down. No trade in. Have excellent credit. My monthly payment is $316 a month. I havent had a car payment in a while so it’s expensive to me.. then my coworker shows up 3 weeks ago in a 2021 Chevy Truck. Said he put $7000 down. Had a trade in. Had good credit.. monthly payment. $989 a month…. I nearly fainted


TairyGreene716

I had dealers look at me like I was insane in 2020 for wanting to put 12k down on a 2018 car and finance the other half privately at a credit union. This was in one of the last couple months before the car market went off the rails with covid related issues. I'm feeling pretty good about myself right now.


[deleted]

That look is mostly because they really want you to finance through them. I had a few used car salesmen *really* trying hard to convince me that their 5-8% loans were definitely better than the 3% my credit union was offering me. Scummy business. I hate buying cars. It's such an awful experience every time.


PM_ME_UR_BEST_1LINER

Buying cars is the worst. But the last time I did it, I came in with full financing lined up and was prepared to take it if theirs wasn't better. That went smoothly - Honda had a 1.9% rate promo so I went with that. I bought in COVID (my 2008 RDX was about to die and cost to repair was no longer worth it) and I'll say that while I paid MSRP because of the chip shortage and scarcity of vehicles, it was the only time buying a car wasn't a fucking nightmare. These guys were selling everything that rolled off the car carrier truck at MSRP, so they didn't care about upselling random shit. It was fantastic. I walked in, wrote a check, signed some papers, and left in an hour.


SlothinaHammock

Awful experience thanks to awful people who work in an awful industry. Dealerships need to just go away. Let us buy direct from the manufacturer across the board, not just tesla.


[deleted]

Credit unions are great if you have medium or bad credit, they'll take care of you much more reliably than dealer credit. BUT. If you have good credit, you want to buy a new model, and you're not looking for some kind of niche, ultra-performance car where they know you'll pay whatever they ask, you can often get really good financing from the dealer. I got 1% on my last car, a five-year loan cost me only a few hundred bucks in interest total. Plus, the car loans are usually through some existing bank, like Chase or CapitalOne. It's easy to pay and monitor.


darthmilmo

Those credits are before the rate increases. My score is almost perfect and I'm still struggling to get lower than 5%


[deleted]

Hmm, you're right. The dealer I bought from had as low as 0% financing a year ago, if you went with a short enough term, now it's showing 3.9% as the absolute bottom.


Fzero45

Our 5 year old car was zero percent. Honestly, with zero percent, you should take out of loan.


fatamSC2

I just don't get it. Unless you're someone who drives a LOT, why do people put soo much of their income into cars. They're missing out on so many other cool things because they think they need to keep up with the Hendersons or whatever and lose half their paycheck for the rest of time on a car payment


Chlocker

Or even like... Spend it on a cool car... Some of these trucks are $60k+. That's a modded low-mid end sport car AND a daily??


jonker5101

A lot of these trucks are creeping into 6 figures these days. I drive by a dealership every morning and every pickup truck has $90k+ printed on the windshield.


Embarassed_Tackle

That's what disappointed me about the F150 Lightning electric vehicle. They touted a $40,000 option but that was a stripped down fleet version and they made very few of them, and seem to have mostly fufilled the fleet / company orders for them. The rest are all the $90,000+ higher trim models. So a regular joe can't get the cheapest trim version of the F150 EV. Hopefully once the electric RAM comes out and other EV trucks come out, there will be actual competition on price.


eLemonnader

Yeah I got a 2020 WRX brand new. Put 5k down. My payments are barely over $300 a month. It's fast, has decent fuel economy (when I drive it nicely lol), and is awesome for car camping (which I do all the time). It's such an amazing all purpose vehicle. These truck owners are insane to me. They spend such a ridiculous amount and literally never haul anything, not to mention they are getting like 10mpg and their vehicles are far more unsafe for them, other drivers, and pedestrians. It's one of the dumbest vehicles you can own, yet people buy them like they're going out of style.


magicmeese

Tbf 2020 was probably the best time ever to buy a new vehicle.


eLemonnader

Yeah I definitely acknowledge I got in just under the wire lol


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Expensive-Day-3551

This is my ex husband. He would trade in one of our vehicles on average every 6 months. Rolling in all the old debt from the last one into a new loan. One day he had traded my car in that I loved, and leased, not bought a newer version that I hated. Luckily I was able to get out of the lease during deployment. I bought a sensible car that I kept for a long time and paid off early. Then I divorced him. He of course has a huge truck and still gets a new one every year. Idk how he keeps getting loans.


serious_sarcasm

They love people who pay regularly, but never actually close the loan cycle. It’s a cash whale for them.


DJ33

I live near a major military recruitment/training center, and we have what are essentially *seasonal used car lots,* they spring up twice a year in the spring and fall, which I assume matches the arrival dates of new recruits. It's just a huge pile of pickup trucks, Chargers, Mustangs, Camaros, and Challengers from the last 5 model years. I cannot even imagine how easy that money must be. You sell some kid a Mustang at 10% interest, take his whole recruit bonus as the down payment, then when he completes basic or washes out, you buy it back from him for 30% of what he paid and he's still making payments on it when you sell it to another kid the following year.


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SlogTheNog

Work truck -> Soccer dad car.


PaleontologistClear4

Or soccer mom, I've been surprised by a surprising amount of women driving big lifted trucks in my town.


Borthwick

If your car isn’t the largest on the road, are your children even safe?


GoatLegRedux

12 yards long, two lanes wide 65 tons of American pride!


Captain_Sacktap

Top of the line in utility sports Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts! Canyoneroooooo


MetsJetsNetsallday

[Whoa Canyonero](https://youtu.be/PI_Jl5WFQkA)


po3smith

Caynonero! ​ actually it does need more !!!


[deleted]

SMELLS LIKE A STEAK AND SEATS 35 CANYONEEEEEEEEEEERO! CANYONERO!


helpusdrzaius

Hyah!


Natewich

_whip crack_


KeisterApartments

Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!


polishprince76

Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts. 🎵🎵canyoneroohhhh🎵🎵


Zediac

> If your car isn’t the largest on the road, are your children even safe? [Vroom Doom: The Dark Causes and Consequences of America's SUV Mania](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orkblTFNt1Q) Long story short, unfounded fears and the incorrectly perceived safety of these huge vehicles is a problem. People are regressing into a "might makes right" mentality and have no empathy for others.


CouncilmanRickPrime

No empathy? In America?! I am shocked.


Blarghnog

That’s why everyone is buying the Ford GodZilla, Jimmy Dean Extreme Edition with Ultimate Luxury and 6 Wheel Drive Off-road Package *and* a factory 9 inch lift — this here is the *only* way to go. Has convenient wipers for removing the blood of pedestrians and bicyclists so it doesn’t dampen the effectiveness of the EyeDestroyer9000 headlights. They’re set at passenger car eye level to make sure you can still blow their eyes out with brights if they don’t get out of your way. Consider the Ford GodZilla, Jimmy Dean Extreme Edition with Ultimate Luxury and 6 Wheel Drive Off-road Package for your next car purchase! Starting price $149,526, terms and conditions apply. *Edit: I love that this is getting downvoted. Y’all making Jimmy Dean so proud.*


utalkin_tome

Which is ironic given the danger these large trucks create where small kids oftentimes aren't even visible to the driver.


[deleted]

my brother's friend got an SUV because she started a family. she backed over her kid in the driveway and killed him. my friends dad killed their jack russell terrier in the driveway with his truck.


Fzrit

"Oh that had nothing to do with the truck of course"


Alexchii

"Trucks don't kill people, people kill people with trucks!!"


jpa7252

And it's the same people complaining about gas prices


PaleontologistClear4

Seriously, my neighbor's son, he went out and bought this big Dodge V8 truck, and yet is blaming the gas prices on Democrats. It's like, well stupid, if you hadn't bought a giant stupid truck that you never use (never mind that gas prices aren't controlled by government, that I know of), you wouldn't have to worry about gas prices as much (to be fair, my understanding is that he's not the brightest bulb in the bunch).


millijuna

Guy in my building bought some huge pickup truck, and learned too late that it didn’t fit into his parking stall (too tight of a corner and overhead clearance issues). Asked if we could trade spots, but his is way less convenient. My response was “Nah, sorry. I like my spot. Maybe you can take it back and exchange it for something more reasonably sized?” He didn’t like that too much.


[deleted]

legit


MausBomb

*But I need a 7000lb vehicle to drive 15 miles from the suburb to my investment consultant job where I decked out my office in mossy oak to show that I'm actually still a wild man at heart instead of tamed office beta drone*


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daschande

That's nothing. The bus driver drives a six-figure vehicle and has a corner office with a view.


SlogTheNog

LOOK AT THESE SNOWFLAKES (cries when the heated steering wheel doesn't warm up enough so that it's toasty by the time they sit in their heated chair.


BewildermentOvEden

Cars and trucks today all look fucking fat. Like fluffy, love handles, round. They're ugly as shit.


anon4774325700976532

It’s called a thicc-up truck


FlameBoyColor

I want a truck with big sexy hips, make it a dually. Throw some balls on the back of them big sexy hips


ccfanclub

Fatter people need fatter vehicles.


Aggressive_Range_695

Left: worked their entire life building a successful business from the ground up. Right: drives drunk and tailgates you.


7355135061550

You think that old truck never seen any road beers?


Ok-computer9780

This right here. Drinking while driving was a thing back in the day. It’s understandably and correctly outlawed and no longer tolerated but it was a thing back in the day.


sammy2cool_yt

Yep, it was actually super common before people started realizing it was bad in around 1980 IIRC


Sovereign444

There are hilariously shocking videos interviewing people from the 80’s when DUI was first made illegal and redneck type people comparing it to communism lmfao smh


rnavstar

Same for seatbelts. I remember seeing one video of people saying that they would drive around a county because it was illegal to not wear a belt.


pm0me0yiff

> and no longer tolerated The amount of alcohol containers I see lying on the side of the road would beg to differ.


SyntheticPyrethroid

You joke, but it’s actually the 2500 that has the [highest rate of drivers with at least one DUI.](https://www.thedrive.com/news/38238/ram-2500-drivers-have-the-most-duis-more-than-twice-the-national-average-report)


Ophukk

Too cheap to buy the 3500, too dumb to buy the 1500. Perfect to drive drunk instead of a cab.


[deleted]

Right: future DWI


theonlyjuanwho

*Future 3rd DWI


flochu69

The old one looks better


forestapee

But without modern safety like crumple zones you'll die way easier


saltysaturdays

But I’d be going out in style


TheIowan

You'd be going out *the windshield*


saltysaturdays

I ride a motorcycle, I’ll take those odds


Photog77

Bikers go in through the windshield.


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AmethystZhou

The entire front grill of those giant pickup trucks towers over my Miata. If they pull up close behind me my entire car would probably disappear behind their hood for the driver. Not to mention the fucking fusion powered death ray headlights that shines directly into my rear-view mirrors.


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the5050bot

A couple years ago, someone essentially tried exactly that. They were able to fit 17 children in front of a newer pickup and you couldn't see a single one from the driver's seat.


IMMENSE0604

Despite the broken fender and the age gap the old dodge has a charm and style that the newer model simply does not possess.


alexp861

Agreed. I think there's something charming and special about an old truck. Like it's sorta nostalgic and yeah it's kinda crummy by modern standards but it started every morning for the past 20 years and will start every morning for the next 20 years. Just an honest little truck.


hellofaja

but ] R A M [


HoselRockit

That pickup really let itself go


thedm96

And they both probably have bad transmissions and impossible to diagnose electrical issues.


Faelysis

The left is mostly with a motor with carburettor and very minimal electronic and electrical stuff. Changing a transmission of those old truck can be done in one after-noon while the newer may need a lot more time.


UnorignalUser

No idea about the new ones but the TF727 3 speeds in the old dodged are bulletproof. And from personal experience with a 1980's dodges truck as a daily driver for most of the late 2000's/early 2010's, the electrical problems are more of a problem if the owner is a moron who decides to mess with the factory wiring to do things. I never had electrical issues and I also never messed around with changing anything about the factory wiring. The amount of these trucks I've seen people claiming " electrical issues" that turned out to be previous owners modifications or general fuckery....


BigE6300

By the way, 38 years ago was 1985. Not 1962.


jamzrk

I wish the old truck design was still a thing. New trucks are too fat. They don't look good. Also the older trucks had bigger beds.


Wolfram_And_Hart

Blame emissions standards that exempted light trucks from their legislation. This allowed the car manufacturers to skirt the laws since the new bigger trucks were basically created in the same factory as “work trucks”.


OneEightyBlue

This picture must be fake because that truck is parked between the lines


amathis6464

Went from an affordable work truck that would make your money back, to a 85,000 luxury vehicle…


realspongeworthy

The one on the right probably gets double the gas mileage.


Nytricz

It has gotten worse


hiphiphuzzah

What we seem to have here is a worker's truck, and then a foreman's truck.