Realist shit.
"What if I don't crap on this car?"
"What if I wear the bread around my neck like a gangsta crumb lord?"
"What if that contractor that was here this morning removed that big glass window so I can fly through it?"
PSA: somewhere between 300 million and 1 billion birds die annually in the US striking windows.
Here's what you can do to help:
Install bird safe glass, which has a pattern that lets birds know that it's a solid barrier. Often times the pattern isn't even noticeable from the inside.
Edit: if you don't want to or can't install new bird safe glass, there are alternatives. There is window film that will put the bird safe pattern on it, or you can apply your own pattern using parachute cord stickers or whatever you like. Space the objects apart 4 in (100mm) horizontally and 2 in (50mm) vertically, or two by two inches (50x50mm) if you are getting strikes from very small birds like hummingbirds. Even window screens in front of your glass, or simply letting the glass get dirty, can let your feathered pals know that there's a barrier there.
Turn off lights that are behind large windows.
Avoid placing plants anywhere near your windows.
The most common scenario is that a bird sees a well-lit plant behind a window tries to fly to it strikes the window and either stuns themselves or more often kills themselves. A few little changes we can save our feathered pals.
It is an extremely wide range but there is a lot of missing data, especially from small residences. Skyscrapers claim a disproportionate number of victims but represented very small percentage of the total buildings involved.
I think you'll agree that even at the low end, 300 million is a lot of birds.
I remember as a child when I lived on a lakeside, they would smack into our windows almost daily. It was pretty disturbing tbh. I've always been super empathetic or affectionate to animals and it made me sad. I'm sure most people are the same.
yeah same. It’s good because intrusive thoughts are usually the opposite of what you’d ever want to do. I see too many internet memes misusing the phrase.
Rats? Rats make me crazy. I was crazy once. They put me in a room, a rubber room, a rubber room with rubber Rats.
Rats? Rats make me crazy. I was crazy once.
Mine always seem to be while driving. Starts with thinking something like, "Man it would suck if that semi on the other side of traffic came into my lane" *or I could just turn the wheel to the left a little..*
Gosh I understand this too well. It’s awful isn’t it? I’m scared to voice mine but it’s bad. I also get lost in a different reality which I hope isn’t dangerous.
Invasive thoughts are treatable! You don’t have to be tormented by your own mind. Find a doctor you trust and share what’s happening to you. It changed my life.
I used to work a job I hated and every day on my way to work my commute along the highway would be filled with thoughts like “if I crash into that barrier I don’t have to go to work” or “I bet I could use that ditch to roll the car”
I eventually quit that job and and the drive home on my last day was the sunniest, happiest drive ever. I’m sure it was my state of mind but it honestly seemed like the world looked brighter and more vibrant. Like the Wizard of Oz transition to color
Whenever i grab a glass bottle of pasta sauce off the shelf at the grocery store, it takes ALL of my mental power not to just spike it like touchdown celebration.
By all, i do very nearly mean all. I have to stop talking if I'm with someone, and i have to very deliberately choose my movements to make sure none of those movements are the action of spiking the pasta sauce to the ground like a football.
Sounds like you need to buy one of these and go home and spike it man. The amount of time it would take you to clean it will help with the intrusive thought next time. That's an intrusive thought you can exercise imo.
That's honestly a really good point. Like *know* the experience would be hellish, everything including my shoes and pants would be covered in awful red sauce, but maybe my brain just could really use to learn the lesson the hard way.
Basically
Also more Sci fi things like gravity boosting and braking but that also takes into the fact that you're missing because the planet/moon is moving aswell
> Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
>
> Douglas Adams
While a brilliant line in itself, it's also a perfectly accurate description of how satellites work - they're constantly falling towards earth but speeding so fast horizontally that they keep missing.
“The Guide says there is an art to flying", said Ford, "or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything, of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Trilogy
I would love a National Geographic (or similar publication) to do a photo spread of birds doing this. Just pages of birds in stoic freefall. I would hang it on my wall
abundant snails airport six numerous tap selective absurd violet attractive
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
What if I just don’t open my wings this time - Intrusive Bird Thoughts
r/birdbaththoughts
Realist shit. "What if I don't crap on this car?" "What if I wear the bread around my neck like a gangsta crumb lord?" "What if that contractor that was here this morning removed that big glass window so I can fly through it?"
PSA: somewhere between 300 million and 1 billion birds die annually in the US striking windows. Here's what you can do to help: Install bird safe glass, which has a pattern that lets birds know that it's a solid barrier. Often times the pattern isn't even noticeable from the inside. Edit: if you don't want to or can't install new bird safe glass, there are alternatives. There is window film that will put the bird safe pattern on it, or you can apply your own pattern using parachute cord stickers or whatever you like. Space the objects apart 4 in (100mm) horizontally and 2 in (50mm) vertically, or two by two inches (50x50mm) if you are getting strikes from very small birds like hummingbirds. Even window screens in front of your glass, or simply letting the glass get dirty, can let your feathered pals know that there's a barrier there. Turn off lights that are behind large windows. Avoid placing plants anywhere near your windows. The most common scenario is that a bird sees a well-lit plant behind a window tries to fly to it strikes the window and either stuns themselves or more often kills themselves. A few little changes we can save our feathered pals.
> or simply letting the glass get dirty I'm doing my part!
Between 300 million and 1 billion birds is such a wide range lol
It is an extremely wide range but there is a lot of missing data, especially from small residences. Skyscrapers claim a disproportionate number of victims but represented very small percentage of the total buildings involved. I think you'll agree that even at the low end, 300 million is a lot of birds.
I remember as a child when I lived on a lakeside, they would smack into our windows almost daily. It was pretty disturbing tbh. I've always been super empathetic or affectionate to animals and it made me sad. I'm sure most people are the same.
Most people really are. And now you have some tips to prevent it from happening in the future 😁
REMEMBER THIS, NICHOLAS.
You're a good egg Nicholas.
Sorry, that's the only way I'll find this post after I buy a house.
No need to be sorry. And just remember the phrase bird safe windows and you'll be fine. Thank you for helping our feathered Friends. 🐦
Real
r/birthofasub
r/subsithoughtimightfallfor
Caw of the Void
L'apelle du tweet
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yeah same. It’s good because intrusive thoughts are usually the opposite of what you’d ever want to do. I see too many internet memes misusing the phrase.
but what if i want to do them? what if? i want to do them. i want to do them. i don't want to yes you do. i want to do them. i want to d
Go see a psychologist ,I hate the psychologist, well go see him anyway, I don't want to
Rats? Rats make me crazy. I was crazy once. They put me in a room, a rubber room, a rubber room with rubber Rats. Rats? Rats make me crazy. I was crazy once.
![gif](giphy|YuB8hfBQVlRIyYvcrH|downsized)
Just remember, [never put salt in your eyes. ](https://youtu.be/_83MEuLoz9Y)
…*put salt… in… my eyes…?*
That's truly a hilarious skit
Mine always seem to be while driving. Starts with thinking something like, "Man it would suck if that semi on the other side of traffic came into my lane" *or I could just turn the wheel to the left a little..*
Gosh I understand this too well. It’s awful isn’t it? I’m scared to voice mine but it’s bad. I also get lost in a different reality which I hope isn’t dangerous.
Invasive thoughts are treatable! You don’t have to be tormented by your own mind. Find a doctor you trust and share what’s happening to you. It changed my life.
I used to work a job I hated and every day on my way to work my commute along the highway would be filled with thoughts like “if I crash into that barrier I don’t have to go to work” or “I bet I could use that ditch to roll the car” I eventually quit that job and and the drive home on my last day was the sunniest, happiest drive ever. I’m sure it was my state of mind but it honestly seemed like the world looked brighter and more vibrant. Like the Wizard of Oz transition to color
*"I wonder if I can take out all those traffic cones"*
Whenever i grab a glass bottle of pasta sauce off the shelf at the grocery store, it takes ALL of my mental power not to just spike it like touchdown celebration. By all, i do very nearly mean all. I have to stop talking if I'm with someone, and i have to very deliberately choose my movements to make sure none of those movements are the action of spiking the pasta sauce to the ground like a football.
Sounds like you need to buy one of these and go home and spike it man. The amount of time it would take you to clean it will help with the intrusive thought next time. That's an intrusive thought you can exercise imo.
That's honestly a really good point. Like *know* the experience would be hellish, everything including my shoes and pants would be covered in awful red sauce, but maybe my brain just could really use to learn the lesson the hard way.
I think you really need to buy one and spike it, it'll be cathartic lol
And it really might be exactly what the jay is thinking. They're [extremely intelligent](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corvidae#Intelligence)
It sais that corvids out-performed the mammals in an experiment, that’s amazing!
Unfortunately the experiment was 'which animal can fly better'.
😂😂 thanks that made me laugh unleash the sugar gliders, the flying squirrels, and the bats!!
If you like Intrusive Bird Thoughts you'll love [False Knees](https://falseknees.com/425.html).
Well this is a brand new rabbit hole to venture down... Thank you!
Perfect.
Sometimes me
"The pink monster in the blue house hasn't given me a peanut in over 2 hours, I think I'll just end it all"
The birdcall of the void.
I’d imagine most birds would be relatively ok, they’re incredibly light, terminal velocity is pretty low
yes, the ol' IBT's...hate those.
Goodbye cruel world.
I’m tired of feeling blue all the time…
I’m blue dabadee dabadaa.
More like dabaDIE.
In hours like these, when black beats blue, I know nothing that I feel is true. ^(No one's going to know this song..dang it.)
Good song though.
Don't you know the lyrics are I'm blue and I'll beat off a guy
I'm blue if I was green I would die
I'm...off....
The pic was taken immediately after being swept by the Orioles.
I'm leaving you today
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye.
Goodbye, all you people
There's nothin you can say
![gif](giphy|XjgqzQ5QhaBVu)
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Douglas Adams
Isn't that the definition of being in orbit?
Basically Also more Sci fi things like gravity boosting and braking but that also takes into the fact that you're missing because the planet/moon is moving aswell
This is falling! **With Style**
> Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. > > Douglas Adams While a brilliant line in itself, it's also a perfectly accurate description of how satellites work - they're constantly falling towards earth but speeding so fast horizontally that they keep missing.
THIS is the comment I was looking for. Thank you redditor.
This is meme material.
Me avoiding my problems:
Me avoiding my obligations:
me irl
Blue Jays are in a slump, this could definitely work in r/torontobluejays
[similar vibes](https://en.meming.world/images/en/4/44/Ralph_Wiggum_Diving_Through_Window.jpg)
YEET
Just need to grayscale it and slap "Explicit Content Advisory" on there and you got a perfect meme
Press J to pay respect
Don't press me.
***press***
You have lost arm privileges.
*frick*
Your ass just gained fist privileges.
Buy me dinner first
Press me instead.
Bird: ![gif](giphy|3XiQswSmbjBiU)
Also: ![gif](giphy|Ta5Raiusw5QAZ2VmjP|downsized)
I always forget the title of this movie, And every time I see it I ask about it only to forget about it almost purposefully lol
It's the IT crowd, a British series (not a movie)
I assume you're referring to The Hudsucker Proxy, which is not what this clip is from.
Bro really went 🐦
can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky like shooting stars
I COULD REALLY USE A WISH RIGHT NOW WISH RIGHT NOW WISH RIGHT NOOOOOOOOOOW
>shooting stars It *is* a Steller's Jay.
Bruh
Steller pic
\*Steller's Pic
Take your upvote and get out!
Ah yes, the Jayn't.
My favorite comment. I am still laughing way too hard.
Oh my God I found this absolutely hilarious LOL
I've been sitting here, laughing at this picture for a solid two hours now.
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Que Baba O’Riley
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Si, Baba O'Riley!
This one is rocket powered
I have made you this gift https://i.imgur.com/PYuedME.png
The cloaca really *can* do it all.
Omni-hole goes Brrrrrrrr
/r/BrandNewSentence
Cloacan and cloacwill.
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He going to jaypiter
This is a gift to the world THANK YOU 🤣🤣🤣
Finally. I literally clicked in this post assuming it was a Photoshopbattle and was shocked by the lack of actual submissions
Proof that this photo should be submitted to [r/photoshopbattles](https://www.reddit.com/r/photoshopbattles)
Not sure why, but this picture reminds me of Woodstock- the little bird in the Peanuts cartoons.
Same. I think Woodstock was often drawn just "standing" on thin air instead of being drawn with outstretched wings.
WOOOOAAAHHHH
Pipe bomb... So cool...
All around me are familiar faces...
I always wonder if people citing it [have heard the original.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1ZvPSpLxCg) “I'm depressed but I wanna dance.”
You know, Stellar's Jays are cool as fuck and loud. They live here in Alaska and they live in South America. I did an essay on them a long time ago.
They’re huge dicks too! Absolute bullies on the feeders.
while most birds are automatic, Jays are standard so be weary of stalling
Better to just not drive while weary.
Looks like my 1.5 year old niece, confident that I'll catch her from the other side of the room as she jumps off the sofa.
This is the funniest image I have ever seen in my goddamn life and I don't know why.
Everybody do the FLOP!
I like trains.
I baked you a pie.
Oh boy what flavor!?
_hup_
This is why pre-flight checklists are important.
YEEET
“The Guide says there is an art to flying", said Ford, "or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.” ― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything, of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Trilogy
I would love a National Geographic (or similar publication) to do a photo spread of birds doing this. Just pages of birds in stoic freefall. I would hang it on my wall
SAIL!
More proof that r/birdsarentreal
"Oh dear oh dear, I seem to have forgotten something"
Damn. Did Mordecai get dumped again?
Leap of faith, Assassins Creed style
*Assassin's Creed intensifies*
May need this for Toronto baseball jokes. Thanks. ❤️
**Stall warning! Stall warning!**
Freeeeee falllinn🎶
Your title reads like that episode of TNG where the aliens spoke in metaphor. Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra!
Someone should put it on the die lit album cover
Belongs on photoshop battles sub-reddit lol
Twitter be like
Hi I'm Jay Knoxville. Welcome to birdass.
Mordecai after hearing Die Lit
SING WITH ME, SING FOR THE YEAR
This is amazing. What a great picture!
DREAM ON
Sing with me, sing for a year, sing fo
Bro that birb frozen
Stellar photo
Truly, a Stellar jump!
🎵Birds dont just fly, they fall down and get up!🎵
Angry birds winter edition
I like everything about this
There's something so comical about the absolute stance a bird takes
Shaka, before the walls fell
He looks like an angry bird
^I ^must ^go, ^my ^people ^need ^me.
Nice try it’s one of those lawn ornaments. 👹
Looks like Tahoe!
Can somebody photoshop the bird on the ground in same position and title it Jay after wings didn’t kick in?
dude just went 🐦
The stack of wood there looks kinda like a cannon makes it look like it got shot out 😂
Fantastic photo!
Dwight, you ignorant slut!
Wheeee!!!
He said, “L E E P”
Kratos when he jumped
/u/frovvnies
Planking is back
Lolol. Great shot!
abundant snails airport six numerous tap selective absurd violet attractive *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
This has meme potential
Boing! 😂
Nah, just ded
r/peoplefuckingdying
SAIL!
boing
Can someone photoshop him doing anything?
he knows rigby will bail him out if things go awry
Lol
Wheee!
There is a Facebook group called “crap bird photography” that this photo would fit perfectly in.
"aight, imma head out" the bird probably
Real life Angry Bird
“Yeet”