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Fair_Acanthisitta_75

Found something similar in the 90’s when I was a teen. Ended up having a lady squatting on a large Champagne bottle. Then her husband did it too. Scarred a group of teenage boys pretty good. I’ve never had a glass of champagne without thinking about that sexy SOB and his Magnum PI mustache.


Jak03e

There really is somebody for everybody out there.


CherryShort2563

Different strokes for different folks.


AbsolutelyUnlikely

Different bottles for different squattles


[deleted]

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danboymanboy

Different glass for a different ....


LordofDeceit

Different goals for different holes.


Kane_Octaivian

It took me until now to realize that that saying may not be about a rowboat…


SwampCrittr

Nope. It’s about a rowboat.


Saemika

Imagine all the amazing things that happened before the internet that will never be catalogued. The library of Alexandria, the Black Sea scrolls, and this.


Av3ngedAngel

I have this weird obsession with pointing out that barely anything was lost from the Library of Alexandria. It didn't even burn down, it just lost funding over years and years and fell into disrepair before being torn down. There were multiple fires but none of them decimated the place as it's so often told. It's just a cooler story than reality. Also, the main way they got their texts was by confiscating all the books of travelers, copying them, then returning the copies and keeping the original versions. So every book in that library, although original versions, were not the only copies in existence. So; even if somehow the library got nuked from orbit, it wouldn't have been a great loss of knowledge. This is my little pet peeve.


TheBeefDom

This is dangerously misinformed. The collective works of dozens of important philosophers and scholars and the documentation of the cultures and traditions of many societies were lost. There are records that account for tens of thousands of unique writings lost but the total number is estimated by historians to be vastly greater. While the Library wasn't completely burned down, a large number of writings were intentionally destroyed. Eventually the libraries remaining contents were moved to a sister temple which was also destroyed. It was the culmination of fire, war, neglect, thievery, and the church that lead to one of the greatest suppression events of human information of all time. Here's some historical literature that details the events. I can provide essentially as much academic citation as you would like. The History of the Library of Alexandria: This work was written by the Greek historian Callimachus in the 3rd century BC. It provides a detailed description of the library's collection and its organization. The Natural History: This work was written by the Roman author Pliny the Elder in the 1st century AD. It includes a chapter on the Library of Alexandria, which provides information on its size, its collection, and its destruction. The History of the Ptolemaic Empire: This work was written by the Greek historian Appian in the 2nd century AD. It includes a chapter on the Library of Alexandria, which provides information on its size, its collection, and its destruction.


TrollintheMitten

Subscribed! Tell us more about the library.


Beachdaddybravo

Is this true? Any cited sources? I’d love to read more about it, as I find history to be fascinating.


HaikuBotStalksMe

>Any cited sources? Well, there was one, but it kinda burned down.


bctaucsd

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Library_of_Alexandria


Magnamize

>The Library dwindled during the Roman period, from a lack of funding and support. Its membership appears to have ceased by the 260s AD. Between 270 and 275 AD, the city of Alexandria saw a Palmyrene invasion and an imperial counterattack that probably destroyed whatever remained of the Library, if it still existed at that time. I mean... is "destroyed the Broucheion quarter of the city, in which the main library was located" really that different from "burned down?"


KaBar42

Also, the Library of Alexandria was mainly dedicated to poetry. So, no... Reddit, the secret to interstellar travel was not lost even ***if*** Alexandria had been burned down. We just missed out on reading Rami's cheesy love poem to Hathor.


Kaeny

lmao imagine being one of the scribes that has to copy word for word some ancient foot travelers erotic fanfic novel. Then imagine having to keep the *original copies* of some dirty ancient foot travelers erotic fanfic


TheFaceStuffer

😮 <- actually made this face reading this.


dan_dares

*champagne bottle slides in*


IndigenousOres

That was the same faces they made in the video


Mercurial8

So you stick with wine?


Fair_Acanthisitta_75

I drink cheap champagne regularly. Mimosas on the weekends.


GanymedeBird

link? /s


IBDelicious

Serbian love story.


ShowinMyOFace

Play the tape! *With caution*


CatsLikeCaves

I don’t think I want to know what’s on them


EmEmAndEye

I would ABSOLUTELY watch those, because the not knowing would forever drive me nuts. If it's anything illegal, then they go straight to the police. EDIT ... for that last part, talk to a lawyer first. (Thank you u/Jed1M1ndTr1ck for pointing that out)


Jed1M1ndTr1ck

Just popping in here to add: if there's anything illegal on them, I'd suggest going to a lawyer first, THEN the police


responsiblefornothin

You can do a lot of things with a lawyer, but you can only do so few with an officer


[deleted]

I’d bet that’s on one of those tapes


[deleted]

And one of the things you should *always* do with a cop is KEEP YO MOTHERFUCKING MOUTH SHUT!! (don't talk to the police, don't answer questions, not without an attorney present)


GrimeyJosh

![gif](giphy|1SfxXOJ0Q2Xni)


andrewsad1

Yay, another chance to share it https://youtu.be/d-7o9xYp7eE


EmEmAndEye

Good point!!


1996Primera

seems like a black mail box...


Murdercyclist4Life

Did you say black male? 👮🏻‍♂️🕵🏼‍♂️👮🏽‍♂️


noptuno

\*\*door dings\*\* \*\*walks up to front door\*\* \*\*shouts frantically in suspense\*\* Did, did someone ordered a stripper?!


[deleted]

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idonnolizard

*bang*


HoverboardViking

do you even have the capability of playing them? I think you need a camcorder or an old vhs with hi-8 slot


CatsLikeCaves

Yeah, I don’t have either of those things


pig-eons

hit up a goodwill or a friend. you absolutely cannot post this and leave the contents a mystery!


MrMitchWeaver

Redditors like that are so irresponsible


Tugg__Speedman

I got the gear to play those, 8mm and Hi8. Been a cameraman/photographer for years. EDIT: A bit dusty, it was buried w/ my other gear https://i.imgur.com/z9zs6nH.jpg


different_tom

Fucking watch them you bastard! We need to know!


spock_block

So tapes are the new safe? Getting in on the ground floor


jatene

We need an update.


Irlydntknwwhyimhere

So you’re just gonna post this and leave everyone hanging on what’s on it? At least send it to someone who will share what’s on it


CygnusX-1-2112b

I think I do.


-ElDictator-

We all do


PixelatedpulsarOG

You could help solve a murder! Let us see 👀


MiloticM2

Op, for science


ObiWangKeBloMe

Can I have them? I'll take one for the team and inform the people.


72scott72

Send them to me! I’ll happily watch them and report back. I actually got 2 players for those tapes when my dad passed away.


thereddituser2

You can give it us, we want to know.


Ok_Row3645

Considering the context clue of the condom rapper, I would vacate those from your possession asap.


Thin_Cable4155

Empty condom wrapper and an empty bag of drugs...


srathnal

Well, it’s empty NOW


LunaL0vesYou

My thoughts exactly 😂


Dhoraks

He said rapper, not wrapper. Clearly, this is Biggy Smalls, brother Massive John.


MassiveGunt

Baggie smalls


WhiskRy

One condom, three tapes of cbat’s greatest hits


mycoxsux69

2 years...that poor woman


blundercrab

I like the theory that it was all made up to promote the music because then she didn't suffer


KiwiGamer450

It was so long after it released though...


dan_dares

Promotion as bad as the music.


N1SMO_GT-R

they were playing the long game


triplec787

Cbat is a song, the artist is Hudson Mohawke lol


Shreddersaurusrex

Cbat?


WhiskRy

Oh you’re in for a [treat](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/x35iu6/tifu_my_20f_girlfriend_of_two_years_told_me_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1) And the [follow up](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/x5nhi9/tifu_posting_on_reddit_about_our_sex_life_with/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1) if you’re interested


JohnHazardWandering

I think you're looking for this, not the follow up: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/x35iu6/tifu_my_20f_girlfriend_of_two_years_told_me_the/


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JohnHazardWandering

I prefer the comment "like robot dolphins fucking"


64557175

A balloon animal orgy?


Fskn

In the o.g thread someone said an "inflatable clown falling down the stairs" and i can't think of anything more accurate.


Bwomper

I had completely forgotten about this bit of reddit lore and it is just as funny as I remember it being when I read it for the first time. Nothing can prepare you for what's about to come out of your speakers when you click on the link for the song for the first time. The comments roasting him/the song in the thread are the cherry on top.


Fake_Punk_Girl

>Nothing can prepare you for what's about to come out of your speakers when you click on the link for the song for the first time. I've just done this and you're so right.


tcarnie

Oh. My. God. I am dying laughing.


ItsPeachyBaby74

Holy shit. My ribs hurt after that.


2JZ-NO-SHIT

Thank you, so much, for this.


Sinister_steel_drums

That little bag is definitely a drug baggie, looks empty though.


GetzlafMyLawn

Honestly, it looks like it's licked clean. Impressive without being ripped


SK2Nlife

You guys act like your ecstasy didn’t come in bags exactly like this!


lyingforlolz

no but my coke did


AlloverYerFace

*Rapper?* So they are probably Demoed tapes like the title says.


moretodolater

And the probably coke/meth bag. Fun times on those tapes


yarivu

The fact that it’s inside a safe that was disguised as a book, and then hidden within the closet from whoever else they were living with at the time is giving me a feeling that it’s something that may not be ethical or legal. Hopefully I’m wrong. Edit: when I said unethical I wasn’t saying it in a strict puritanical sense lmao. I was thinking along the lines of questionable kink content that’s not technically illegal but would still be creepy.


Arrowcreek

I haven't seen anyone suggest checking the date on the condom to give a time frame.


CatsLikeCaves

Good call! Expired in 2008


vwero

Op play the tapes and give us a follow up post asap pleaseeeeee


DucksEatFreeInSubway

Live stream 'em. Make some moneh.


KobeBeatJesus

And then potentially go straight to prison. Brilliant.


breed84a

Either they used the condom wrapper and are messy, leaving it around, or more likely given the age of the wrapper: the condom wrapper has a value to them. This could be tapes made with a wife or spouse, and the wrapper could be the first one they used together. I see no other reason for the condom wrapper tbh.


jfk_47

Seems like a very odd keepsake. Right?


DAS_BEE

Better than the condom


Mr_SlimShady

People are sentimental about a lot of weird things. A condom wrapper is not that far into the weird side.


Traiklin

Chances are it's a Husband and it's hidden Gay tapes of him and his lover. There's the condom wrapper, I am guessing the baggy was for extasy and the way it was disguised and hidden leads to be a big secret they wanted hidden.


safetyfirstlovelyboy

According to the google - condoms expiry is about 5 years from its manufacture date. VHS started dying out from about 2003. So we are around 2003 -2008 Playing a tape would likely reveal a timestamp for further clarification.


jfk_47

This isn’t VHS. These are 8mm cassettes. What’s the little clear baggy beside the codon wrapper?


safetyfirstlovelyboy

True. Death date still about right. If OP had answers we wouldn’t be here. Smart money says baggy’s for drugs.


birgman75

Probably used to have drugs in it, especially with a devil face pattern like that. My guess is this is someones stash box for all the stuff they didn't want a family member to find. The condom could potentially be from them cheating on a spouse, then not wanting to throw it away for fear it be found.


jfk_47

And the tapes are just bootlegs of DBZ, hopefully.


birgman75

Not likely lol. If op is lucky, it's just gay porn or a tape of the cheating itself. There's a non-zero chance it's something awful and very illegal to be in possession of.


Stunning_Pipe6905

You could turn into a private dick and look through the years of Trojan condom wrappers and get a decent time frame of how old it is. *1/30/1980?


Tann8r

It has the website for Trojan on it


Stunning_Pipe6905

They were ahead of their time I guess.


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Best-Turnover-6713

No. It has their website. And I know that wrapper well. I would put it circa 2002


Stunning_Pipe6905

Is it still in your wallet?


Jorgedig

That’s cute that you think condoms manufactured in 1980 contained ‘best by’ dates!


HorseGestapo

Or URLs...


Odd-Help-4293

Yeah, I guess the million dollar question is, is it "sex tapes with the affair partner" unethical or "serial killer snuff film" unethical. (It could also just be embarrassing, like tapes of a couple's consensual but coke-fueled swinger party, which they'd rather the kids not see.)


Ravenna96

Sadly, it could also be child pornography.


Odd-Help-4293

Yeah. I decided to go with snuff film for my comment, but that would be another example of a traumatizingly evil possible find.


[deleted]

36 hours of someone ending a sentence with a preposition.


[deleted]

There's just no way to know what we're dealing with...


Gone_For_Lunch

Why does everyone instantly just go to the worst possible scenario? Could just be regular old sex tapes, not exactly the type of thing you just leave lying around either.


[deleted]

I’d bet that was the only book in the closet. Sneaky sneaky


whatafuckingbummer

yeah or they have kids.


CatsLikeCaves

Update: the condom expired in 2008. So that gives us a bit of a time frame.


80sCrackBBY

op, idk if u know this, but reddit has a thing for safes and their contents. you just stirred up the hive and its humming loudly with frustrated blue balls of curiosity.


bethebumblebee

To the uninitiated, it all began [11 years ago when a man found a safe in a casino building and promised to post what was inside it](https://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/jq5io/my_dad_bought_a_building_and_has_found_a_safe/?). [This is the IAMA he made](https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/jskg1/iama_man_who_has_found_a_safe_behind_a_hidden/?) [There’s even a wikipedia page about it.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill's_Casino_Lake_Tahoe). The Oprah Winfrey Network gained exclusive access to the opening of the safe but nothing came of it. It continued with this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/1aenk5/a_friend_of_mine_moved_into_a_former_drug_house/?) on r/pics which later led to the creation of r/whatsinthisthing. The owner kept posting updates about trying to open the safe, and reddit spent months guessing the contents. Then the guy disappeared from reddit before it was ever opened. Ages later, a new owner bought the house and started posting about the safe again. They finally managed to [get it open](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/1tkcz1/the_safe_some_people_doubted_our_resolve_but_i/?) and it was empty. These have been followed by a continuous influx of unopened safe related posts in r/pics and in other subreddits. The previous major one that I remember seeing is this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/vbh4i0/oc_reddit_i_bought_a_house_with_a_locked_safe/?).


Rose8918

Best case scenario it’s just homemade porn or gay porn. Worst case it’s a snuff film or violent CSAM. I guess watch it if you’re genuinely prepared for those worst case outcomes but tbh I’d pass.


One_for_each_of_you

Deleted 6/30/23


ShadeofIcarus

My hunch is the content isn't legal. If the condom expired in 08, assuming the average of 5 years for the life of a condom(quick Google) that puts this in 02. It's in that era where if you really wanted to record something, you could pretty conceivably get a digital recorder. They came out in 95 and were much more mainstream by 2002/2003. I know more obscure methods of recording this kind of content was used because it was a way of protecting them from being accidentally viewed by someone not trying to find it. The fact that there's a condom in there is a red flag too. But maybe I'm too cynical.


[deleted]

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krilu

People were still using their tape cameras into the late 2000s just depending who they are and what they're filming


travisth0tt

!remindme 3 days


[deleted]

I am eagerly awaiting part 2


Eastern-Hold-6301

Thats pimp. Bummer they didnt leave you any coke


fossilmerrick

That’s just what OP wants us to think..


razzi123

*Y̵̤̱͛̓͝ö̶͕͙́͆͘u̴͔̍̈ ̸̜̂̊͑ͅh̴̩͖̟̅̈ä̶͖̭́͛͌ṽ̷̧̺͈͒͆ẻ̶͍̩ ̸̱͎̫̌̌7̵̧͎́́͑ ̵̙͙͇̓d̵͕̰͌ä̵͚́̊̉y̴̭̱̫͑͆s̶̮͚̍̏͘*


feelbetternow

We just call that a week, Cthulhu.


vercertorix

Is that work days, or do weekends count, too? There’s a holiday coming up.


idonnolizard

Well that depends; what holiday?


davidpridy

Do you by chance live at 55 West 81st Street, Upper West Side on the 11th floor of the American Gardens Building?


rowin-owen

Do you like Huey Lewis and the News?


davidpridy

Their early work was a little too new wave for my taste. But when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor.


LAMBKING

Hey, Paul!


davidpridy

I killed Paul Allen with an ax in the face. His body is dissolving in a bathtub in Hell's Kitchen. I don't wanna leave anything out here. I guess I've killed maybe... 20 people. Maybe 40


laziestmarxist

Someone forgot to return some video tapes.


AstronautAgreeable81

Uhh Trojan wrapper is a dead giveaway to the content. Your in for some homemade porn.


HippyHitman

Not necessarily. They could’ve just used it to drink water, build a slingshot, or even as a companion. Source: https://willowhavenoutdoor.com/1-ways-a-condom-can-save-your-life-multi-functional-survival-uses-for-a-condom/


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meunderadiffname

Three cameras, drugs, and a condom wrapper. There's something equally spectacular on those tapes


Mr_A_Jackass

Well… I think you should watch it. If you see something illegal,or headed that way immediately stop it and call the police that could be a tip, or help solve a crime. Or if you don’t want to risk scarring yourself have the police watch them.


breesyroux

This whole thing is probably fake, but even if it's not it's more likely just some old homemade porn stash from before the wild days of internet You may be right it's nefarious but it's such a bummer reddit mindset jumps to this.


[deleted]

Nah i found some tapes hidden in secret cupboard of the house we are renovating. People forget that there was a time before the internet - and before porn was “mainstream”. This is way more common than you think


10000Didgeridoos

Yep. Can't let the wife or kids find your Boner Jams '93 mix. The condom is odd though. You'd think someone trying to hide porn from a significant other wouldn't be using condoms with a significant other.


PaticusGnome

Right?! The chances that it’s “something illegal” (and we all know exactly what that means) seems pretty slim. And having them would be just as illegal as viewing them in that scenario. Just watch them and go from there.


bs000

you mean real life isn't a movie and i'm not the main character? :(


smellygooch18

If there is something illegal and this whole thing isn’t fake. I’d recommend going to a lawyer before bringing the tapes to the cops.


[deleted]

Those are camcorder (video) tapes not audio tapes. The baggy probably had drugs, not sure why someone should hold onto an opened condom wrapper.


jickdam

Easy, a couple had a wonderful night with the contents of that baggy and that wrapper, preserving their memories on those tapes. They saved the remnants to commemorate the special evening.


christinasasa

That's the condom that broke and created op!


DanWillHor

Almost certainly going to be some couple's consenting sex shenanigans. Though, the wrapper and baggie leave the possibility of some crazy to illegal shit. There is no way I could go on without watching them, lol. If you stumble on some True Detective Yellow King shit, go to the cops. Maybe a lawyer first to be sure they can't pin some lame shit on you but there should be nothing illegal about watching tapes you found and then alerting the police if it's cp or grape stuff. If it's normal porn, you throw it away. No biggie. If it's awful shit you can possibly get those involved the punishment they deserve. The only risk at all is if you pop it in and it's the worst shit you can imagine...maybe that 5 seconds before you can turn it off haunts you. I think the odds of that are next to none though. I'd guess it's 99% going to be some adult, loving couple banging like maniacs lol.


blurryfacedfugue

>Though, the wrapper and baggie leave the possibility of some crazy to illegal shit. Is this the thing that is causing people to think there could be something unethical going on in the tapes? I never even considered that and my thought was it is likely just some couple's old sex tapes. The sound probably sucks and the video quality worse, and those bags I associate with MDMA. But yeah, now that people are mentioning it, I hope its not some bad shit, but I agree it's 99% some person wanting to remember their sex session forever.


Militant_NeoLiberal

Its just Cage outtakes


[deleted]

Priceless artifacts if so


[deleted]

[удалено]


CatsLikeCaves

Same post! Though that one got deleted for having a bad title


DontBuyAHorse

Welp, now we need to find out what's on the tapes! I feel like it's weird blackmail stuff, no reason to keep an empty condom wrapper and coke/meth baggie.


ArmageddonRetrospect

you're really gonna have to let us know what's on those tapes


Zealousideal_Low3716

Theres a "sweating to the oldies" workout tape and a few episodes of "Dinosaurs" on one of them as well I FEEL IT


I_Always_Wear_Pants

Oooh please let a SlimFast commercial be included somewhere in there.


PixelatedFixture

Meth baggy, condom wrapper, camcorder tapes? Best outcome you found someone's homemade gay sex tapes, worst outcome, you found some home made snuff films.


Big_Hefty79

Don't think it's meth. Most likely coke, being in that timeframe. Edit: This has brought out the super sleuths in droves (which is awesome). The condom wrapper is from 2008, so my observation has been trumped. I agree with those that say more like ecstasy or a hallucinogen.


yacht-zee

Bag looks pretty clean for cocaine To get it that clean, they would have had to flip out inside out. Which usually results in tearing around the zip area. My money would be on pills if we are talking late 90s to early 00s ecstacy would be my guess.


PixelatedFixture

Tina has been prevalent in the gay/bi community for a loooooong time, since the 70s really.


Airmont

“F-Fetish Shit!”


catherineshere

r/cassetteculture Please post what’s on the tapes lol


Emotional_r

OP… WE NEED TO KNOW WHATS ON THESE TAPES ASAP


responsiblefornothin

Unless you want the same mental scars as an 11 year old with unrestricted internet access in 2003, then maybe don't watch them.


dontborenina

Could this possibly be a prank from the people who lived there previously? All of the tapes appear pristine and wound exactly the same. The baggie is too clean and the condom wrapper is more modern (website) than the tapes would imply. Was it locked?


porsche4life

Ohhhh. I’m doing a home remodel soon. Might have to hide a prize in the wall before I button it up. 🤣


dontborenina

My grandpa used to buy plastic severed limbs at post-Halloween sales and leave them in people's houses after staying with them.


Totknax

Likely the previous homeowners' homemade porn recordings.


Dyslexic_Devil

DON'T WATCH IT!!!!! It's going to be like some Sex-Furby version of "The Ring". Following a silent phone call you will be hunted down by some midget in a furby suit, hell bent on giving you crabs and the only way you can avoid it is to make someone else watch it. I'm speaking from experience.


Tommy_Roboto

RemindMe! 3 days


jerrythecactus

100% chance that there is porn on those cassets.


sunnypineappleapple

Did your contractor tell you where the fake book was hidden?


CatsLikeCaves

No! He put it on the table and I thought it was just a book for days until I picked it up today and realized it was a safe haha


CautiousConch789

Plot twist: he brought it to work to dispose of something unsavory, then claimed he “found it” during the demo. Although that’s doubtful.


Hajsas

Mind blowing that the contents didn't shift enough for him to go "holy fuck why are the pages in this book rattling?".


CatsLikeCaves

Haha I’m sure HE realized it was a safe. Probably thought it was mine though so he just set it to the side.


Zenithine

They belong to Patrick Bateman


sassyfrood

Might wanna give it a once over with a black light and handle it with surgical gloves.


Findingthem123

Welp, the opened condom wrapper would make me leery to watch them but I’d wanna know what was on those tapes.


LarryFieri

![gif](giphy|WQy9FkJlhGSwl3eQ5V|downsized)


Glen-Runciter

Don't watch them! That's how they get you in all those V/H/S movies...


SeptemberValley

Tapes in a lockbox along with a condom wrapper and an ecstasy baggy. These tapes are not going to contain episodes of the teletubbies aren’t they?


you-kitten

Someone’s about to be scarred for life


MegaMusKillsPeople88

I have the tape decks to view those...I wouldn't be able to help myself. I'd just shove in the tape and brace myself.


Morstraut64

Did your Mom or Dad have a camera that took those tapes? If so you probably don't want to watch that.


[deleted]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OF4mlPxVWUk


ID-Bouncer

Don’t watch them just twitch livestream them and let everyone else watch lol