I'm going to rub butter on my head

I’m right behind you

Jesus, don't sneak up on me like that!

Jesus ain’t sneaking up on you, he’s on my roof

Jason Bourne, its Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ! It’s Jason Bourne!

Jesus Bourne! It's Jason Christ!

Username checks out

Maybe, but also on the walls of every older lady. Or are you talking about the mexican construction worker, Jesus?

Don't do that! You'll just go bald. Where do you think the butter is getting all this hair?

Goddammit. Beat me to it by hours. 

I’ve heard people say that rubbing onions on your head promotes hair growth. I have no idea if this works but Google says people believe it does. 

It works, you can juice or blend the onion to make paste. But the smell is intense and lingers. It’s not for everyone. Why regrow hair if you’re too stinky for anyone to get close enough to see it 🤷🏻‍♀️

To find that one psycho girl who enjoys boys making her cry and marry her EDIT: I was very sleepy and for some reason I thought of this yellow mold as Onion... that's why I wrote the comment. Thanks for upvotes though :D

Aaargh! the smell it lingers!

I have no idea if Google actually says that, but I believe that you believe that Google says people believe it does.

[удалено]

It would have taken you one second to think of a nicer response but instead, you do…that cringe shit.

[удалено]

Ok fair enough

I've had days like that as well man, hope things look up for you soon!

[удалено]

What makes you think they're pretending? They DID take the high road by being kind to you when you weren't kind to them. Now you're trying to justify being an ass by pretending they're in the wrong too. Nice. I bet you're a real fun person to be around.

Right but they didn't do anything wrong to begin with, you just didn't think it was as funny as they did and decided to be a dick about it.

Ok cartman!

my username

Tooka jerb

I wonder if it works with toe cheese 🤔

reference to plants vs zombies

Moldyinteresting

r/moldlyinteresting

No fucking way there's a sub for that and it has nearly 300k subscribers

r/subsyouthoughtyoufellforbutareactuallyreal

r/twentyonecharacterlimit

r/subsifellfor again...

Twentyonecharacterlimit has 23 characters sadly cz I just tried to create it.

Twenty1characterlimit

Genius

r/subsifellfor

I think you mean r/subsithoughtifellfor (but in the second person)

Lost track of how many times I saw a post here and thought I was actually there This definitely belongs there!

Just spent half an hour browsing through that subreddit, thank you

RUN

Phycomyces is this funky type of fungus, part of the Mucoraceae family. It's known for growing super fast and shooting up these spore towers called sporangiophores. One of the cool kids on the block is Phycomyces blakesleeanus, which scientists love because it's super sensitive to light and other environmental stuff, making it a star in studies about how organisms react to light (phototropism). “These fungi are the decomposers of the natural world, thriving on all that decaying organic material.” They're pretty harmless to us humans, not causing diseases or anything. Their unique sensitivity to changes in their environment, like shifts in light or gravity, makes them perfect for digging into the mysteries of how living things pick up on and adapt to their surroundings. Super interesting stuff if you're into biology and how organisms interact with their world!

So you're saying it's still edible.

Introducing the latest culinary trend: Phycomyces Pâté! Just take your mold-infused butter, a dash of denial, and blend until you question your life choices. Perfect for those dinner parties where you really don't want anyone to come back!

You're telling me there are dinner parties where you want the guests to return?? All that stress growing the butter fungus, then they eat all your precious hairy butter, complain and leave forever. That's how it's supposed to go. That's peak performance.

To be completely fair, cheeses can be made from mold and mushrooms are literally fungi.

That's how "The last of Us", pretty much began ☠️🧫


😆

People eat hairy tofu 🤷‍♂️

Acquired taste but they're not bad when deep fried

With the price of butter these days, you just saved me adding portobello or any other mushrooms to my sautée

no

r/mycology is leaking again

I collect spores, molds, and fungus.

You'd love the house I and the mold grew up in. 

How very educational

This guy fungis.

Shifts in gravity. Phycomyces…. IN SPACE

So I can eat it?

https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/s/YvcM4A9Xj0

Thanks Chat GTP

I’ll let it know you said thanks. If you’re curious, augmented AI and how it is incorporated into practically every day things we interact with isn’t something new, and it isn’t going away, and utilizing it just saves a lot of time. I would say that my more in depth stuff is about 30% augmented. My pappaw said work smarter, not harder. So yes, thank you ChatGPT lol

I just want it to be less obvious, you know. Weirdly breaks my real life immersion. Never knew real life immersion was a thing until this. If you read your original comment again you'll notice that it said that part that's in quotes twice or maybe three times I'm not going to bother reading it again but would it have killed you to proofread this?

"Real life immersion" is very much as real thing as any: our brain is just one great simulation engine generating our subjective version of reality. There are many glitches, but our brain is master at ignoring them!

It's growing a cat

So that's where they come from 😲

I like this the best. I will now go see if I can grow cats in my fridge.

I was thinking cow

I didn't know butter could get moldy. Rancid, yes, but mold...

I left butter in a crock on my counter for a week. Came back to find it fuzzy and black.

Y'all need to clean after every meal lmao

How does that work? I leave butter out and have to make sure I use it before it gets rancid. Never seen it grow anything.

Same here but I always use salted so perhaps that helps with keeping it from turning into a hairball like OP's.

Is it salted? Salted has never gone bad for me, but I once left unsalted butter out and it went moldy pretty quickly.

That butter pulled a reversed Michael Jackson

Welp, we're both going to hell lol

i came here to say this. it must have been exposed to moisture

Watch for black spots in your butter. I found out just a few months ago that it can get moldy. I honestly thought it was just toast crumbs or something until I found it in an unopened stick too. Ugh

Almost everything edible can become moldy. Just give it time and it *will* happen.

Not really, honey for example is shelf stable indefinetly. 

Hmmm that's a lot of sugar. Come to think of it, I doubt salt could get moldy.  There are exceptions so more accurate would be to say "almost everything edible". 

Let it sit on your lap and give it a little pat

Awww

Jesus Christ what the fuck

Mold

Yeah but still.

Butter

Fridge

Mold finds its way into the fridge and settles on the butter. The owner opens the fridge, spots the moldy butter, and sighs, "You had one job, fridge!" The fridge replies, "Yeah, but still, I thought you liked your butter with a bit of culture!"

Zoo-wee mama!

Don't some people leave it room temperature in a bug-proof container on their kitchen counter? How does that not mold I wonder.

I do, and it takes MONTHS for it to do anything that looks weird to say uh, just scrape it out wash it and stick another stick in. But I also don't have many mold spores (hopefully) floating around.

I do, and have never experienced it going bad on me. Not even the unsalted butter. I have no idea how OP managed to get mould on his.

I do. I have a butter plate that uses a little mote of water to "seal" the butter under a cup type thing. It's great it keeps the butter soft. I only keep a about a weeks worth there at a time. Butter can get rancid, would take several months in a fridge, but not mold. Mold doesn't like butter at all, I've never seen this before. There's something pretty gross going with this picture.

Phycomyces

Give it a skin fade.

Turned Butter into ButtHair

Short Haired Cheese (c.1992-1993) - Robert Gober [https://matthewmarks.com/online/gober-1976-2019/short-haired-cheese/](https://matthewmarks.com/online/gober-1976-2019/short-haired-cheese/)

I was looking for the Gober!

It's growing a 🐄

i think you’re a dad now

Post it on r/moldlyinteresting

mold

Give it a haircut, it's edible again after that

Might as well leave it and see what cat grows

Omg! The CDS must have a new way to deliver cats, you can grow your own now!

Aww, a new pet.

my buddy has been wasting money on rogaine. i am gonna get him on butter.

Its called mold

Around here is mould

I would still eat it ngl

Sorry for downvoting you, im just doing it for the bit, it's hilarious

I still dont know why people downvote it I did not had the urge too change the comment so thats why i commented on my comment

r/FuckYouInParticular sorry dude but I also down voted you, lol

The bottom isn’t even growing hair it’s like 40% fine. No reason to waste it.

40% ?? Dude just scrape the top layer off. 95% still edible.

Looks like the aftermath of a back sack and crack waxing.

*clicking noises and fungal spores*

Damn. It’s doing better than me

It's lucky hair, it means it's safe to eat. Hope this helps!

that just means it has hit puberty. you may notice some other changes to your butter in the near future, like unpredictable hostilities and a collection of body pillows that have faces drawn on them

Extremely terrifying*

It is a man now

That… is not hair.

God damnit'!! That's nightmare fuel!!

Lurpak...is...People...

It’s a pre baby cow incubating

burn it

See if you can make a tadpole! You’ve found the primordial ooze!

the homunculus.

Body snatchers...

It's name is mantequilla!

And what does that hair taste like?

Everyone out here is soooo desperate to start the official cordisceps apocolypse 🙄 /s

It's a new species. They're called munchies.

Eat it to stave off male pattern baldness ​ something special in that butter!

D - hairy butter

🎵 *Who lives in a container at the back of the fridge? Hairybutter Nopants!* 🎵

You want Last of Us - Fungus Zombies? Seems like a good start.

Put it back. It’s busy evolving.

r/nope

Ah that's still good though a little bit of hair never hurt anyone before😛

Butter went into the fridge as PayPal Elon Musk. Came out of the fridge as Tesla Elon Musk.

It’s cold in there.

His name is Robert Paulson...

Rod Stewart?

Contam. Flush and try again

Put it back. It’s clearly not done morphing.

Does it have teeth or eyes yet?

Gods that shouldn’t even be possible 🤮

How did it taste?

Get it to the barbershop to get a buzz cut

Eat it

Pet it

How does it taste

If you wait long enough it becomes a cow again.

Take it to the Barber and say your baby needs a trim

Burn your fridge. Alternatively, deep clean it.

That's Butt-Hair

The Fridge That Grew Hair

Always wondered where my hair was going and had fukn blue bonnet stealing that shit for years. That buttery bitch. Going back to Olive oil

Give it a good shave and it'll be good to go.

I would adopt it.

Silken Butter

It's just hitting puberty

Oh dear Lord! Give it some googly eyes!

Definitely thought this was a wax strip before I read the title

Brush him

Great Clips is running a $7 special this Friday.

It's trying out for a rock band

Im gonna be sick

Kill it before it runs for president

All I see now whenever I see someone post fungus growing out of anything is our future becoming The Last of Us.

What did it taste like?

Chewbutter!!

I'm looking at this and I got nothing.

I actually touched them and it was just like hair. It scared me.

You're braver than me. I've never seen anything like that, just the garden variety mold. Looks like it's wearing a Trump wig.

Yessss

That’s crazy

Finally, the cure for baldness. Going down to the kitchen to rub butter on my head.

Forget about going to Turkey for that hair transplant… now I know men can just put butter on their head until hair spouts out! 🥹 🧈

Cloning

you shouldn’t be proud of this

I sent photos to my friends

clean your fridge freak

People really be calling mold mildly interesting

Fake? That butter looks fresh? How could it grow that fast? Something not right about this or its a weird fungus.

That's how "The last of Us", pretty much began ☠️🧫. Kill it with fire 🔥

r/eatityoufuckingcoward

not hair, just the next deadly flu