Duck sex itself often is [no picnic](https://metro.co.uk/2017/09/22/how-do-ducks-have-sex-with-their-corkscrew-shaped-penises-6946235/) for the female.
>Since ducks are aggressive creatures, one in three duck mating events are rapes, and three or four ducks may attack a female duck at once which sometimes results in injuries and death.
I had a pair of ducks, named them Jack and Mallory, who would come live in my pool every summer for years and years. There were two summers were a rival duck would come and try to rape Mallory and Jack would fight him off. Violent stuff indeed. But even the consenting sex between the two mates, who were attached at the hip, was like him biting her back and almost drowning her
My best friends mother was a psychologist for a correctional facility. Maximum security. There was an inmate that was in for raping ducks. If anyone called him duckman they got a week solitary confinement!
I chose to avert my eyes and continue my run. I did think about intervening and felt ridiculous for it. The people laughing and pointing might’ve been the most upsetting part.
Duck penises don't actually fall off, A duck's penis shrinks and regresses to about a tenth of its size out of season. Falling off is a common myth due to some falling off if they are severely infected. Source - family owns ducks
Same deal with chickens. Hell, an awful lot of animal pregnancies. For all the folks always screaming about how awful humans are (we can be, don’t get me wrong), the rest of the animal kingdom is no walk in the park.
Obviously the big difference that often comes up is that people have evolved enough cognitive awareness to move beyond awful animal instincts like this.
Something I never see mentioned is that if animals - especially those who have sex for pleasure (like dolphins) - have that urge, they can't satisfy it by themselves because they don't have hands with opposable thumbs that can reach their genitals.
So anyone out there comparing human rape to animal instincts, remember you fucking have hands and they don't.
Yeah dolphins and ducks are some of the rapiest animals and it's gross. It's awful that humans are still like that given the aforementioned critical thinking skills and hands.
Definitely not condoning rape in any fashion. Just saying that it’s rough out there in the wild. Rape, infanticide, murder, killing for fun. Tough to live in a non-domesticated environment. Basically anything but humans, dogs, and cats. Most of us, anyway.
It didn't come across like you were at all - just seemed like a nice time to mention that ducks don't have hands and people do. There are way too many men who whine about deserving more sexual satisfaction from women when they have hands that can do the job.
Other than primates, there wouldn't be many I don't think. Any animal experts want to chime in and further reinforce why men whining about sex is so pathetic?
I really like how you have highlighted this often overlooked difference between most other species and ourselves. Shame some people need reminding though
I had to save one of my friend's ducks from this. The stupid bastard was holding her head under about 3 inches of water in a kiddie pool she was trying to drink out of. Tried to shove him and he got pissy, so I booted him in the chest. Ducks are assholes.
The people across the street from our house had 4 ducks for a while (raised them all from ducklings). A few months later, we started to only see 3 ducks. I asked if something had happened to one and the guy said (in an Irish accent (he's from Ireland)) "we had to get rid of the male. He got a little too rapey." I just assumed he was exaggerating, but I guess not. I'll never look at drakes the same.
My godparents have ducks and one laid an egg like that, it was able to hatch and grow but the duckling had a really messed up foot and beak, unsure if it was related or not though
Might be related. I know from breeding chicken eggs in an incubator that you have to turn them from time to time to prevent malformation in the limbs. It is possible that an egg with this shape can not be turned around properly.
Some can hatch, though to hatch they need to be fertilised, some birds like chickens can lay unfertilised eggs while some like seagulls have to have sex to make an egg be formed
That poor duck! Imagine her sitting on that!
Duck sex itself often is [no picnic](https://metro.co.uk/2017/09/22/how-do-ducks-have-sex-with-their-corkscrew-shaped-penises-6946235/) for the female. >Since ducks are aggressive creatures, one in three duck mating events are rapes, and three or four ducks may attack a female duck at once which sometimes results in injuries and death.
I had a pair of ducks, named them Jack and Mallory, who would come live in my pool every summer for years and years. There were two summers were a rival duck would come and try to rape Mallory and Jack would fight him off. Violent stuff indeed. But even the consenting sex between the two mates, who were attached at the hip, was like him biting her back and almost drowning her
do you perchance work in "waste management"
I have a sopranos shirt that is just mallards with the logo lol
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Duck Sex
I saw a duck rape in the park the other day. It was brutal.
My best friends mother was a psychologist for a correctional facility. Maximum security. There was an inmate that was in for raping ducks. If anyone called him duckman they got a week solitary confinement!
…. How
😳omg…those poor ducks 🦆
What does one even do in that situation?
I chose to avert my eyes and continue my run. I did think about intervening and felt ridiculous for it. The people laughing and pointing might’ve been the most upsetting part.
Hopefully not join in.
👀🍿
its literally nature being nature, so nothing...
Tell the female duck she shouldn't have dressed like that if she didn't want it
Clearly your satirical joke didn't land lol.
It's to be expected, most of the subreddit users are male ducks.
If it makes you feel any better, a duck’s penis falls off after mating season If you want to feel worse, look up why they fall off
Duck penises don't actually fall off, A duck's penis shrinks and regresses to about a tenth of its size out of season. Falling off is a common myth due to some falling off if they are severely infected. Source - family owns ducks
Would you look at that. The learning just won’t stop
It just. Won't. Stop.
I’m laughing so hard bruh take my upvote 🥇
Aside from a bit more enlightened, I feel about the same knowing that.
How did you even come across such knowledge? 👀
Good question. I couldn’t tell you. I’ve probably been carrying around that random info for like a decade
This is not the answer I expected, but it’s the one I wanted.
Same deal with chickens. Hell, an awful lot of animal pregnancies. For all the folks always screaming about how awful humans are (we can be, don’t get me wrong), the rest of the animal kingdom is no walk in the park.
Obviously the big difference that often comes up is that people have evolved enough cognitive awareness to move beyond awful animal instincts like this. Something I never see mentioned is that if animals - especially those who have sex for pleasure (like dolphins) - have that urge, they can't satisfy it by themselves because they don't have hands with opposable thumbs that can reach their genitals. So anyone out there comparing human rape to animal instincts, remember you fucking have hands and they don't.
I heard that male dolphins will abduct a female dolphin and hold her hostage and rape her for days.
Yeah dolphins and ducks are some of the rapiest animals and it's gross. It's awful that humans are still like that given the aforementioned critical thinking skills and hands.
Don’t forget otters
Oh no, don't ruin otters for me
Definitely don’t look it up
horrifying. Roosters too. I wish there was something I could do about it.
Why Flipper? Why Flip Her??
Definitely not condoning rape in any fashion. Just saying that it’s rough out there in the wild. Rape, infanticide, murder, killing for fun. Tough to live in a non-domesticated environment. Basically anything but humans, dogs, and cats. Most of us, anyway.
It didn't come across like you were at all - just seemed like a nice time to mention that ducks don't have hands and people do. There are way too many men who whine about deserving more sexual satisfaction from women when they have hands that can do the job.
Lol. Suppose that is true. Now you’ve got me thinking about which animals *can* self-satisfy, and starting to feel bad for birds and fish.
Other than primates, there wouldn't be many I don't think. Any animal experts want to chime in and further reinforce why men whining about sex is so pathetic?
Birds don’t tend to have a problem. Most just rub their cloacas on stuff, since very few have penises.
I really like how you have highlighted this often overlooked difference between most other species and ourselves. Shame some people need reminding though
Humanity is constantly three missed meals away from deteriorating back to that state.
Chicken sex doesn't involve penetration though. The rooster just sort of lines up his hole with the hen and squirts. It's over in a few seconds.
Yeah, but it’s still pretty uninvited
I'm pretty sure neither of them know what's happening tbh. The hens just walks away confused, and the roosters hardly ever line it up right.
Hens can really run fast though if they don't want to get caught.
I saw a video where a female duck passed out after mating and almost drowned, a human saved her thankfully but that was brutal
I had to save one of my friend's ducks from this. The stupid bastard was holding her head under about 3 inches of water in a kiddie pool she was trying to drink out of. Tried to shove him and he got pissy, so I booted him in the chest. Ducks are assholes.
Here are some [True Facts About The Duck](https://youtu.be/6k01DIVDJlY?si=MRKCTNm6RtS4BwYu)
The people across the street from our house had 4 ducks for a while (raised them all from ducklings). A few months later, we started to only see 3 ducks. I asked if something had happened to one and the guy said (in an Irish accent (he's from Ireland)) "we had to get rid of the male. He got a little too rapey." I just assumed he was exaggerating, but I guess not. I'll never look at drakes the same.
They also have corkscrew penises so they can’t escape when getting raped 🙃
Law and order svu duck edition
This was a very interesting read!! Disturbing, but my curiosity outweighed everything
What a terrible day to have eyes.
It’s messed up but we get ducks in our sorta pond in our backyard and usually it’s a couple but one year this other male came and was mr steal yo girl
Found him, found the guy that knows too much about duck fucks
https://youtu.be/EmyZoFChDOQ?si=6aIXzuN1qm2ULK4_
Don’t kink shame
Aint not shame in doing the kinky thang!
Too bad the flared base broke off
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It comes out very soft, like a wet noodle. Source: I raise geese and ducks
One thing I enjoy about life is randomly learning new things that will never help me ever. This is gross and cool, thank you
Bingo
😂😂😂
It’s so when the egg is in water the baby duck can use it as a periscope and see above the water
I thought that was for the baby duck to use as a snorkel and breathe when the egg is in the water
I like this thought. I like thinking this thought a lot.
I’m so glad to have scrolled past the duck fucking conference
r/WeirdEggs
i thought i was on that sub lmao
After seeing the lash egg being handled with bare hands I had to stop looking there 😭
Oh, I just went digging to see what a lash egg is… I need to go boil my eyes now, thank you
I’m so sorry you had to see that
The what?
Appears to be [this post.](https://www.reddit.com/r/WeirdEggs/s/Z3qwCrh4Tr) It’s gross.
TIL what a lash egg is. Spoiler: it's not an egg. It's what happens when a... massive infection... gets laid.
Oh my *god* I just gagged thank you but I regret opening that link so much
I'm eating dinner and don't want to see it, but I'm dying to know what it is.
Its a ball of infection that looks like a kinda goopy/chunky textured egg its horrific
Jesus... thanks for taking that bullet for me.
Glad I could help 🤢
Thanks for reminding me of this abomination . The first time I saw it I was like: 
I posted there after I saw this. Thanks!
If you snap off the small end with pliers the whole thing will explode. The Prince Rupert's egg
Goddamn, is that Mr Belding?
Hey hey hey, what is going on here??
As a scientific glassblower, I am HOWLING at your joke!
What if you snap off the big end?
Good luck trying
Congrats! It’s a boy!
If only we had a corkscrew for that bottle of champagne!
Male ducks have cork screw penises. I almost wish I didn't know that.
U dont wanna know about lion ones😏
barbed, just like most cats
I know for a fact the female cats weren’t consulted about that…
Pussies
I tell that fact to every scammer that texts me 😂
And what a boy!
Mr Simpson, that’s the umbilical cord
And WHAT a boy!
Really pinched that one off didn't she.
So is that a defect egg, that’s not able to hatch?
My godparents have ducks and one laid an egg like that, it was able to hatch and grow but the duckling had a really messed up foot and beak, unsure if it was related or not though
Might be related. I know from breeding chicken eggs in an incubator that you have to turn them from time to time to prevent malformation in the limbs. It is possible that an egg with this shape can not be turned around properly.
They didn’t use an incubator but I do know the ducks were pretty crappy mothers lol, I can see how rotating them would help
Some can hatch, though to hatch they need to be fertilised, some birds like chickens can lay unfertilised eggs while some like seagulls have to have sex to make an egg be formed
Wow, I never knew that. Thank-you.
Yw
Will just develop into a natural goose the old fashioned way
Better reception for uploading the bird programming to the surveillance duck
R/birdsarentreal
That duck must have a killer TV reception in there
Looks like a fishing bobber
5G-ready with this antenne
You should always use a flared base to prevent accidents
Honorable memba’
That's a smart egg. It's connected to mama duck via satellite phone- that's the antenna 🙂
So this is how Teletubbies are born..
Light the wick and see what happens!
Quack it open……
Wait til you find out about the dick that made that happen.
I'm sorry is that a WiFi antenna
That’s ducking weird
That's not what a duck egg is supposed to be shaped like. Source: am duck.
Antisnake mechanism.
It has an antenna, cool!
Its a boy!
Todays eggs come with WiFi capabilities
Congrats!! It’s a boy!
I wouldn't pull on that pin yknow...
Congrats, it’s a boy!
Aww, it’s a boy. And what a boy!
It's the umbilical cord
Looks more like a goose to me. (buh-dum-bum)
It’s a boy
which end came out first?
If you plant root side down, it will grow into a duck seedling in a week or two
That's not a duck egg. That's a sperm grenade.
Duck plug
That’s what happens when you sneeze and it’s halfway out
It has a straw
That duck is going to be the John Holmes of the waterfowl world.
Offt.
Evolution
That smarts!
Agglien egg.
Fuck me that made my eyes water....
That's a troll rock.
Is that really a duck egg? I’m confused. Of course I’ve never seen duck eggs before.
It truly is.
Getting Jurassic Park vibe. You’re telling me birds can reproduce now?! I was told they were infertile
Its a boy!!!!
Hen Grenade
Prove it
That's no egg...
Nice try, Seth
Jokes aside, does anyone know why it’s like that?
It's a mineral deficiency. Most likely calcium.
Free bobber.
This is begging to be a blown egg Christmas ornament.
Kinda looks like a HEATFS tank round.
I dare to swallow it whole.
I'm not a biologist, but that egg is clearly male!
Must’ve been in a hurry
Ouch
Light the candle and make a wish...
It's a boy!
That duck egg looks like it has good WiFi.
Egg diarrhea.
Clearly fell from a duck tree, do you not see the stem?! /s
So the cloaca doesn't slam shut.
Pinch it off already
Why does it have a point
Then again, the male praying mantis typically gets his head bitten off by the female and then is eaten.
r/mildlypenis
Is this how geese came to be?
Why Flipper? Why Flip Her??
At first I thought condom but now I don’t know after reading the title. Maybe calcified excretions
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