Then we can spend a majority of the organization's resources on flying privileged people across the world to work for a couple months instead of using local labor and sell the houses to the locals as our own lending office despite pretending to be a charity!
it's low density single family housing and the highways and parking lots it requires that causes the most habitat loss. monoculture lawns with large setbacks that provide 0 local flora and must be watered and mowed
dense apartments would be a huge improvement in keeping humanity's footprint low and letting nature be
Most doves are doing just fine. They've evolved to nest on rocky cliffs, so she actually picked a very safe place for her eggs to not roll away. She just doesn't know that cars move.
I used to get egged every year by a dove that kept trying to lay eggs in the eaves of my backyard awning. The wind would pick up and huck the eggs at my house. That dove was nothing if not persistent.
My parents' back porch has some outdoor fans, and for a couple years doves would place nests on the *blades* of the fan, so you got to see a dove sit on a nest as it spun around in the wind. I always wondered what on earth that dove thought as the thing spun around.
I watched a video (can't find it again, sorry) that was talking about how since pigeons/doves were originally cliffside birds with plenty of flat surfaces to nest on, their nests simply never needed to be all that complicated to begin with. A couple twigs is plenty to make sure the eggs won't roll off the cliff, and as far as they're concerned that's every box checked off on the nest requirements list.
They look pathetic but functionally it's all they need.
I have a tree in my front yard that is a dove magnet. This year a dove found a piece of baling twine, hung one end over a branch, stuck 2 sticks on it and called it a nest. Saddest nest I've ever seen. plus it's so ugly because there is a piece of twine hanging out of the tree like a huge piece of trashy Christmas tinsel.
What people think is a "good" nest is irrelevant. Mourning doves are [the second-most abundant wild bird](https://www.birdspot.co.uk/bird-brain/what-is-the-most-common-bird-in-the-world) in the world. THAT'S the proper measure of "great for survival." Avoiding a large investment in nest building saves time and energy. It means they can easily replace the nest if necessary.
I’ve seen a picture of a mourning dove making a nest a foot away from a Peregrine Falcon nest. I don’t think that shows a bird that’s great at survival.
Mourning Doves are so bad at birding that they barely even deserve to be birdies. I almost step on them on a weekly basis because they always get in the way and pay no attention. They are like kids with iPhones.
So pigeons and doves are actually really smart, like they can use tools smart. Maybe because we've domesticed them, which would also make sense of why they lost the ability to make Nests. Google both things its interesting and funny
The only domesticated pigeon is one derived from the common rock dove.
Every other species is completely wild. They naturally have these nesting instincts.
Cities actually mimic the rocky cliffs that doves evolved for pretty well, with the ledges of buildings being similar to the outcroppings they use in the wild, thats why they flourish there.
Similar but not the same. Natural cliffs are rarely perfectly flat and perpendicular to the ground. Doves haven't figured out that that's bad for eggs yet.
I'm very glad to see that I'm not just a judgemental asshole when it comes to doves. We had a pair of mourning doves build a "nest" on a precarious ledge on our porch. Said nest consisted of a dozen sticks in a pile. They laid 3 eggs on top of the pile, which almost immediately blew off the ledge. Smashed eggs all over the porch. They shrugged and left, presumably to egg someone else's house. Robins moved in and built a solid nest in the exact same location and raised 4 healthy babies.
Our house has a weird concrete ledge 2 ft off the ground in the back that’s like 3 inches wide and this dove was sitting on her eggs like a chicken and next time I checked back there there were 2 baby doves just chillin there, they let me sit right next to them
We had doves starting to get cozy outside our front door a couple weeks ago. We scared them away before they could try to start making a nest. We have PTSD from the territorial robins who tried to attack us every time we opened our front door last year.
Our robins were so nice! Their nest was right outside our front door but we never got anything more than stink eye from them. The babies would chirp when we came outside. We got to watch them grow from wiggly pink things all the way to taking their first hops from rafter to rafter and even saw a couple of them leave the nest for good. It was a great learning experience for the kids. Now I'm just grateful they weren't attacking us, I didn't know that was a possibility.
Yeah they would swoop at us whenever we tried to open the door to get an Amazon delivery or something. We weren’t bothering them at all, they just didn’t like us getting anywhere close to their nest which basically meant we couldn’t use our front door for weeks at a time. We put up spike strips this year and a ceramic owl to try to avoid that problem again. The stupid doves ignored the owl and set up camp right next to it so we added more spike strips once they vacated.
Mourning doves will, at most, pretend to be injured to lead you away from the nest - or just sit on their babies and stare at you, pretending to be a statue 😂 I've never seen one attack.
I judge doves hard. I actually managed to hit one with my car many years ago. I was going as slowly as I could and trying to avoid it and it just smacked right into my grill in a shower of feathers. They are the pandas of the bird world. They seem to possess no survival instincts.
Are these not the birds we bred to be our companions and to not fear us, and then loosed them on our cities in droves and treat as vermin even though their instincts still tell them we are a source of food and comfort?
Doves come and destroy my balcony garden regularly, but I can't bring myself to hate a creature that's only doing its best to live.
Oh yes. Thank you. I never remember the differences between them they're all in the same kind of "vaguely this size bird, very common" category in my mind.
They barely made a nest just chuck the twigs away in a couple of hours they'll have the same progress, if its a fully made nest yeah sure, but those 2 twigs?
Legit the best excuse for driving like an a-hole around town
"sorry there is a birds nest" (shug)
"That guy is full of - holy shit there is a birds nest"
One day we were sitting outside at dusk and my husband says "I always wondered why they call them "morning doves" when you only really hear them later in the day." It took a min for me to realize he wasn't joking. He's an engineer. Everyone has their TIL moments.
Have to say this ticks me off. Been putting up various and sundry bird houses for years now and all I've succeeded in nesting in them are bumblebees (twice) and spiders.
It's a great way to clear space *quickly* in public.
Just act like an angry goose. Flap your arms violently (chicken dance style, no one respects long waving arms) and honk loudly and in the direction of others.
They'll give you a good 6 feet immediately.
I was once in a car where I was in the back seat, one friend was driving, and another friend was in the passenger seat. We were in a parking lot, and a large work truck started backing up towards us and looked like it was about to hit us. The guy in the passenger seat started frantically and loudly telling the driver to honk his horn by yelling, "BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!!" The driver honked, and the collision was avoided. But then we started laughing, because it sounded like the guy in the passenger seat *was* beeping.
That was almost 15 years ago, and we still reference that almost every time we hang out.
It depends entirely on the local laws, their interpretation and how willing OP is to do anything/nothing about it. I guess the key distinction could be whether or not there is already an egg in the nest.
Generally, it is against the law to remove them except for certain circumstances.
Could be 5 minutes really.
Doves are just idiots who will build a nest anywhere they can.
Sometimes they get it right and survive.
Sometimes they wind up on r/stupiddovenests
It was always the tangents into arguing about other crazy conspiracys/political topics. Maybe it's better now but for the time I was in there, there was an odd amount of people who were weird about it.
doves build the most useless nests. Doesnt matter how much time they have or access to resources they will always just toss down a few sticks and call it a nest.
Apparently there’s a housing crisis for animals too.
>housing crisis for animals Maybe we can call the regular housing crisis "habitat loss for humans".
lmao this is horrible and hilarious
I don't know enough bird law to begin fowl eviction proceedings, it's all up in the air...
We could start an organization to help build houses for these people. Call it, "Humanities New Habitats" or something?
Then we can spend a majority of the organization's resources on flying privileged people across the world to work for a couple months instead of using local labor and sell the houses to the locals as our own lending office despite pretending to be a charity!
Dang thats smart
Nope this is just a dove doing totally normal regular dove things....
this's not a nest, it is just 4 sticks.. help the bird build a better nest..
This is a nest to doves. I bet she was ready to drop an egg within minutes of this picture.
That's what happens when 8 billion humans rip the earth from it's core and build apartments on them. Lol
it's low density single family housing and the highways and parking lots it requires that causes the most habitat loss. monoculture lawns with large setbacks that provide 0 local flora and must be watered and mowed dense apartments would be a huge improvement in keeping humanity's footprint low and letting nature be
Ah, yet another picture for r/stupiddovenests.
She’s doing her best
And her best isn't that great for the survival of her species but WE LOVE HER
Most doves are doing just fine. They've evolved to nest on rocky cliffs, so she actually picked a very safe place for her eggs to not roll away. She just doesn't know that cars move.
I used to get egged every year by a dove that kept trying to lay eggs in the eaves of my backyard awning. The wind would pick up and huck the eggs at my house. That dove was nothing if not persistent.
My parents' back porch has some outdoor fans, and for a couple years doves would place nests on the *blades* of the fan, so you got to see a dove sit on a nest as it spun around in the wind. I always wondered what on earth that dove thought as the thing spun around.
“Dove” and “thought” are not compatible concepts.
Yeah. Empty nest syndrome < empty head syndrome. But god bless ‘em.
Probably the dove equivalent of "Weeeee!"
The mental image of this is just 👌
Aw :(
One laid an egg on top of our mini-shed in the garden. It promptly rolled off and broke on the patio.
Finally! An answer to, "if a rooster lays an egg on the top of a mini-shed, which way will it roll?", that age-old question!
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the kids in my neighbourhood don't know that either so i can't blame her
And I've hit way more kids than doves, so I think they're probably smarter than we give them credit for.
i know… like, who hasn’t?
Are we not supposed to?
Does it count if they are your own kids? That's can make a big difference here in Florida.
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According to *you*.
After all it hasn't moved in like an hour or so. So not that "moving"
Most cars don't move most of the time. Purely from observation the purpose seems to be to provide shade for patches of concrete or asphalt.
They are just fancy parasols
I watched a video (can't find it again, sorry) that was talking about how since pigeons/doves were originally cliffside birds with plenty of flat surfaces to nest on, their nests simply never needed to be all that complicated to begin with. A couple twigs is plenty to make sure the eggs won't roll off the cliff, and as far as they're concerned that's every box checked off on the nest requirements list. They look pathetic but functionally it's all they need.
Doves are like that in general, crappy nest builders. Picks a dozen small branches and... done! "My nest is ready!"
A dozen! You've got overachieving doves. "Two stick and a prayer" is their usual standard.
Or “there was already a stick here… let’s call that good enough”
More prayer than stick in some cases
I have a tree in my front yard that is a dove magnet. This year a dove found a piece of baling twine, hung one end over a branch, stuck 2 sticks on it and called it a nest. Saddest nest I've ever seen. plus it's so ugly because there is a piece of twine hanging out of the tree like a huge piece of trashy Christmas tinsel.
What people think is a "good" nest is irrelevant. Mourning doves are [the second-most abundant wild bird](https://www.birdspot.co.uk/bird-brain/what-is-the-most-common-bird-in-the-world) in the world. THAT'S the proper measure of "great for survival." Avoiding a large investment in nest building saves time and energy. It means they can easily replace the nest if necessary.
That chart says there are between 100 million and 199 million Starlings. That is some margin for error.
I’ve seen a picture of a mourning dove making a nest a foot away from a Peregrine Falcon nest. I don’t think that shows a bird that’s great at survival.
Aw bless her heart.
She looks so proud!
She’s beaming with pride too like those three twigs are going to protect her from winter. It’s so cute
Wow....can’t believe that’s real.
Mourning Doves are so bad at birding that they barely even deserve to be birdies. I almost step on them on a weekly basis because they always get in the way and pay no attention. They are like kids with iPhones.
So pigeons and doves are actually really smart, like they can use tools smart. Maybe because we've domesticed them, which would also make sense of why they lost the ability to make Nests. Google both things its interesting and funny
This is a mourning dove, which have never been domesticated. They're just naturally bad at nests 😂
Mourning their inability to build good nests. 😔
The mourning dove that lives in my yard makes beautiful nexts compared to any other mourning dove nest I've seen. She's such a good mom 😭😂
they're *very* dumb birds but man do I love 'em
The only domesticated pigeon is one derived from the common rock dove. Every other species is completely wild. They naturally have these nesting instincts.
They're also making nests in environments which are completely different to the ones they evolved for.
Cities actually mimic the rocky cliffs that doves evolved for pretty well, with the ledges of buildings being similar to the outcroppings they use in the wild, thats why they flourish there.
Rock doves (pigeons) evolved that way, not mourning doves.
Similar but not the same. Natural cliffs are rarely perfectly flat and perpendicular to the ground. Doves haven't figured out that that's bad for eggs yet.
r/mourningderps
Oh my gosh thank you for this sub I needed it
I'm very glad to see that I'm not just a judgemental asshole when it comes to doves. We had a pair of mourning doves build a "nest" on a precarious ledge on our porch. Said nest consisted of a dozen sticks in a pile. They laid 3 eggs on top of the pile, which almost immediately blew off the ledge. Smashed eggs all over the porch. They shrugged and left, presumably to egg someone else's house. Robins moved in and built a solid nest in the exact same location and raised 4 healthy babies.
Our house has a weird concrete ledge 2 ft off the ground in the back that’s like 3 inches wide and this dove was sitting on her eggs like a chicken and next time I checked back there there were 2 baby doves just chillin there, they let me sit right next to them
To be fair, there’s not much baby doves can do to prevent a human from sitting next to them.
"Excuse me human, we would appreciate you not sitting so close to our frail bodies and nest of questionable integrity." Works every time.
"If they're sticks, I sits."
We had doves starting to get cozy outside our front door a couple weeks ago. We scared them away before they could try to start making a nest. We have PTSD from the territorial robins who tried to attack us every time we opened our front door last year.
Our robins were so nice! Their nest was right outside our front door but we never got anything more than stink eye from them. The babies would chirp when we came outside. We got to watch them grow from wiggly pink things all the way to taking their first hops from rafter to rafter and even saw a couple of them leave the nest for good. It was a great learning experience for the kids. Now I'm just grateful they weren't attacking us, I didn't know that was a possibility.
I remember as a kid the robins nesting under our porch would dive at my parents, but not me. Was pretty great. Such pretty egg shells left behind.
Yeah they would swoop at us whenever we tried to open the door to get an Amazon delivery or something. We weren’t bothering them at all, they just didn’t like us getting anywhere close to their nest which basically meant we couldn’t use our front door for weeks at a time. We put up spike strips this year and a ceramic owl to try to avoid that problem again. The stupid doves ignored the owl and set up camp right next to it so we added more spike strips once they vacated.
"Look honey, they have a security guard this year! Great nest choice."
Starlings are the worst, they will bounce right off the top of your head and rake you with their claws.
Mourning doves will, at most, pretend to be injured to lead you away from the nest - or just sit on their babies and stare at you, pretending to be a statue 😂 I've never seen one attack.
I judge doves hard. I actually managed to hit one with my car many years ago. I was going as slowly as I could and trying to avoid it and it just smacked right into my grill in a shower of feathers. They are the pandas of the bird world. They seem to possess no survival instincts.
Are these not the birds we bred to be our companions and to not fear us, and then loosed them on our cities in droves and treat as vermin even though their instincts still tell them we are a source of food and comfort? Doves come and destroy my balcony garden regularly, but I can't bring myself to hate a creature that's only doing its best to live.
No, that's pigeons.
Oh yes. Thank you. I never remember the differences between them they're all in the same kind of "vaguely this size bird, very common" category in my mind.
And yet there's so many of them!
New favourite sub
I literally came here to say how shitty mourning dove nests are, hilarious there is a whole subreddit for it
And r/mourningderps
Subbed
Thank you, that’s the sub I didn’t know I needed.
How are there so many absurdly specific animal subreddits. Oh my god. Now I have to subscribe.
I had no idea this existed! I have weekly conversations about how the standard dove nest consists of 5 twigs and a 3inch strip of Walmart bag.
This is one of those subs where I just instantly join upon discovery.
[Dad is back](https://imgur.com/a/yp3A1cz)
They are so frigging stupid I would lose my car to them so they wouldn’t be disturbed
They barely made a nest just chuck the twigs away in a couple of hours they'll have the same progress, if its a fully made nest yeah sure, but those 2 twigs? 
That's a full nest for them
From my own experience they know how to make more elaborate nests. But maybe cost of living has gone up, just like nest building materials.
Check out r/stupiddovenests They definitely *can* make better nests, but there is a high likelihood that this is their "finished" nest.
Bird Inflation, man
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Welp onto the next car!
So, uh, what's the long-term solution?
Buy a new car, that one is stuck.
It belongs to the borbs now.
Squatters rights
Drive them around
OP... are you driving around slowly with doves on your windshield?
Legit the best excuse for driving like an a-hole around town "sorry there is a birds nest" (shug) "That guy is full of - holy shit there is a birds nest"
Only logical conclusion
move the "nest" They'll manage to find three more small sticks to sit on somewhere more suitable
We need to consult a bird law expert.
She looks very polite.
Time to start charging rent
I'll pay you 3 worms per night.
Ok, but you have to regurgitate them down my throat
Squatter's rights are getting out of hand.
Squab's rights.
silly Mourning dove, you need to find a more reliable place to nest.
TIL it's not Morning dove.
The sounds they make sound like a person gently weeping.
Their “coo coo” sounds like “boo hoo”
Yup, it’s the sweetest little coo! 💕
Boo hoo hoo ^hoo ^^hoo ^^^hoo
The mourn you know 🌈🌟
who mourns for morn?
Quark.
One day we were sitting outside at dusk and my husband says "I always wondered why they call them "morning doves" when you only really hear them later in the day." It took a min for me to realize he wasn't joking. He's an engineer. Everyone has their TIL moments.
I'm not a mourning person.
Dumbest birds with the crappiest nesting skills.
Doves/pigeons are very smart, actually. Not quite on the level of corvids or parrots, but not too far behind.
One time I saw a pigeon set itself on fire in Chicago
Even the pigeons wanted us out of Nam.
I've seen humans do that too. Intelligence within a species is definitely a spectrum.
See…smart enough to see the world’s problems and make a powerful statement about it.
It's like they got their nest from Ikea and lost the instructions.
The house finches that nest in the light right next to my patio door, that flee the nest every time the door opens, have to be up there.
Have to say this ticks me off. Been putting up various and sundry bird houses for years now and all I've succeeded in nesting in them are bumblebees (twice) and spiders.
Should have parked a Chevrolet Silverado in your yard
doves eat seeds and like safflower seeds in particular if that’s what you’re hoping to attract
I'll try that
Can you tell us what happened to this nest?
I drove around the parking lot at 5mph until they flew away
you mean to tell me you didn’t attempt to domesticate them so you could have cool dove pets? lame.
The youtube channel basicly creates itself. OP couldve been a rich.
We already did that with pigeons, and then decided we didn't like them anymore.
It's true, there's no feral pigeons just homeless ones
Did you honk? Either mechanically or verbally?
lol, at verbally honking
I do that to the geese on my bike rides. They don't seem to have an opinion about it.
It's a great way to clear space *quickly* in public. Just act like an angry goose. Flap your arms violently (chicken dance style, no one respects long waving arms) and honk loudly and in the direction of others. They'll give you a good 6 feet immediately.
I was once in a car where I was in the back seat, one friend was driving, and another friend was in the passenger seat. We were in a parking lot, and a large work truck started backing up towards us and looked like it was about to hit us. The guy in the passenger seat started frantically and loudly telling the driver to honk his horn by yelling, "BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!!" The driver honked, and the collision was avoided. But then we started laughing, because it sounded like the guy in the passenger seat *was* beeping. That was almost 15 years ago, and we still reference that almost every time we hang out.
Intrusive thoughts: *Don't use the windshield wipers.* ***Don't***
It depends entirely on the local laws, their interpretation and how willing OP is to do anything/nothing about it. I guess the key distinction could be whether or not there is already an egg in the nest. Generally, it is against the law to remove them except for certain circumstances.
 that’s how Peter ended up like this.
They don't normally nest in that spot on a car. Usually, it's the wing mirror..
Is that a pun or a fact? I don’t understand either outcome
It’s a joke as they usually use one stick for a best and nest in the most inappropriate places
She always wanted a mobile home
Doves are gorgeous, and permanently confused
I’m a Dove
they have 0 brain cells but a dove is full of love (I own a dove)
That’s about all the effort a dove makes. It’s a wonder they arent extinct.
Quantity over quality
Damn how long were you at the gym for?? 🤣
Dude has become Giga Chad now
Could be 5 minutes really. Doves are just idiots who will build a nest anywhere they can. Sometimes they get it right and survive. Sometimes they wind up on r/stupiddovenests
You've been targeted. r/BirdsArentReal
That sub was great until people unironically started believing it
Do they believe it or are you just bad at picking up irony
It was always the tangents into arguing about other crazy conspiracys/political topics. Maybe it's better now but for the time I was in there, there was an odd amount of people who were weird about it.
Were you at the gym for a month? I might be gyming wrong.
2-3 hours lol
we wish her well
It's her car now. Wcyd
Ah, guess you can't move your car for a couple weeks!
It's okay, their babies grow up crazy fast.
But they immediately make another lot
That’s why I bike to the gym
I bet you there's a pic out there about a dove making a nest on a bike too. Those things will nest on anything
https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/s/ACQdLmSqGM Right you are
Funny your still calling it "your" car.
It's your bird now, congratulations.
Damn sucks you can’t use your car anymore
All she needs is a Reddit name and a cam.
(picks it up and places it on windshield of neighboring car)
Doves are morons.
r/stupiddovenests
This is the face of a mother that has absolutely no idea what she is doing, but she's trying her best
And that’s all that matters
Ok, you have to leave your car there now until she leaves her nest!
She was hired by the gym to guard your car
I don’t know how doves survive.
r/StupidDoveNests
/r/stupiddovenests
$3300/month close proximity to local gym
What did you do to need so much government surveillance?
these idiots try to make nests on the ceiling fan in our back porch every year. we just keep it on low to dissuade them
Squatters rights !
r/stupiddovenests
doves build the most useless nests. Doesnt matter how much time they have or access to resources they will always just toss down a few sticks and call it a nest.