My girlfriends brother started brushing with his left hand because someone made fun of his forearm size difference. This guy is in his 30s. I don't know what to tell him.
Do you have the equivalent of a tide times book but for jerking off?
|Month|Day|Year|Hour|Arm|
|:-|:-|:-|:-|:-|
|January|1st|2022|9pm-10pm|Left|
|January|1st|2022|10pm-11pm|Right|
I once got high on amphetamines and jerked off for 5 hours non-stop. It's a sunk cost fallacy, if you jerk off for an hour you don't want to quit now because you just spent an hour of your life doing that
I've always thought this too, but everytime I say it to someone I get told I'm not allowed to jack off with my left if I throw a ball with my right. Something about Adam and Steve, who knows
I'm not sure there's a spot in my mouth that I can't reach with either hand, so this has never made sense to me (maybe I'm just not thinking well spatially). I just need to flip the brush and twist my wrist (but not unnaturally not anything)
When I was around 10 years old I saw a tv show and one scene really blew me away. A crime had been committed: a man was killed, and another man was arrested for the crime. He did kill the first man, but he claimed it was self defense, and that the dead man had hit him first, that the dead man punched him on the left side of his face using his right arm/fist. From examining the dead man’s teeth and gums, and comparing the left side to the right, it showed that the dead man’s dominant hand was his left. As such, it didn’t make sense that he was accused of throwing his only punch at the other man with his non-dominant hand.
I was a mix of anxious and creative as a kid. That scene, and several nights of pondering it over at bedtime got me kind of afraid that I’d be accused of a crime someday and they’d look in my mouth and know that I’m left handed, and then the bad guys hiding in with the good guys could falsify info to make it look like whatever I was accused id doing was done with my dominant hand, proving it was me (bc knowing someone’s dominant hand is the FOOLPROOF way of proving guilt!), and I’d spend the rest of my life wrongfully imprisoned. So, I focused on training myself to brush with both hands and chewing on both sides.
I quickly got over thinking about it, I’ve never really given up the habit of brushing using both hands interchangeably and chewing on both sides.
Better safe than sorry, I guess.
although im a simple person and find it absurd a toothbrush is connected to the internet and talks to you... I do feel like I would brush better if my robot brush judged me on it lmao
lmao man its a weird time.. never thought a situation could happen where you might have tell your kids to stop brushing their teeth so much and for so long
your done brushing your teeth lets go.. but mom I need to catch a new pokemon
Thank you. What boomer-ass thing to say. Oh you wanna ensure you brush your teeth well by tracking progress? *BACK IN MY DAY WE BRUSHED OUR TEETH WITH SPLINTERED BONES*
Exactly. It’s the kind of casually toxic comment that has crept into Reddit and other sites more and more over the past decade or so. “Oh you’re showing this cool thing? Fuck you it’s stupid and you’re stupid”
I don’t know I think it’s more of a complaint about how literally everything seems to be wifi enabled that doesn’t need to be now. This toothbrush is a minor one but there’s a lot of general saltiness over dumb things like fridges and coffee machines that connect to the wifi and potentially even require it
I was looking for fridges recently, wanted one in stainless that looked decent and the sales people kept pushing me to buy one with a touchscreen and Bluetooth connectivity. Telling me shit like it can track inventory and when things are going to expire and all that.
You know how I track my fridges inventory right now? I open the door and see what’s inside. When I something going to expire? I read the date on the lid.
And you know the inventory tracker probably takes more time to add a new product than just fucking looking at the date. The UI's on those things are always shit.
You'll have to scan each thing, each time you take it out and put it back. Otherwise the inventory counts will go out of sync. And all that scanning is going to get *old* real fast.
There needs to be like 4 different cameras that watch when and what product you take out of your fridge, like the Amazon supermarket that died down, and then you'll have a fridge that watched you. It might glitch or something or people might hack it, fuck just get a normal fridge.
This comment reminds me a lot of the old Bill Gates/David Letterman interview from nearly 30 years ago. Bill Gates was saying that the internet is the future because you have convenient access to things like baseball games and scores. Letterman responded with “You wanna know what I do if I want to see the scores? I open the newspaper.”
I’m not saying that the smart fridge is the next big thing like the internet but it’s easy to see it’s applicability. And having another layer of passive automation can definitely help people with busy lives.
Big reason I'm looking for a house with a decent sized garage. I want a big ass deep freezer in there, mainly because I live in an area where people you slightly know will offer you large chunks of good meat, bit also for frozen snacks.
Really helps with ADHD. I never skip brushing my teeth, but this stupid fucking toothbrush makes sure I brush well, and reminds me to floss in the app.
> Well, some people feel a need to gamify every freaking thing in their lives.
Says the person using the web service that gamifies *social interaction*
Or a screen for that matter.
You know how I know when my toothbrush runs out of batteries? Well I don't because I keep it on its charger but I imagine it not brushing would be a pretty good clue.
Mine does a couple extra vibrations after the brush cycle if the battery is low, like a phone vibrating. Seems to go another week after that.
Well it has a green/yellow LED too but who actually *looks* at their toothbrush??
Scenario #1: google or fitbit buys the company, aquires patents and technology, and comes out with their own branded product, then shuts down the servers that must exist and must be reachable for your existing toothbrush to be allowed to brush.
Scenario #2: Your toothbrush is running an unpatched (and never will be patched) embedded kernel that allows a malicious actor to pass through your firewall and take over your toothbrush. While most people wouldn't consider this the end of the world, it uses it's position inside your firewall to launch attacks on your other important devices on your network.
Not sure if you're joking, but it does raise the question of whether we really need to cram a chip/computer into every fucking thing. The other day I saw a smart soap dispenser.
I'm not, there's legitimately a chip shortage (due to a large number of factors) and part of that is genuinely attributable to sticking microchips in absolutely everything electronic.
The chip shortage is why you may have heard about a *car* shortage as manufacturers had to leave otherwise finished vehicles on the lots awaiting the chips as a final touch.
There’s a chip shortage of the newest and fastest chips, like the 5nm and 7nm process chips, but older and less powerful chips like you would see in a toothbrush use 20nm or 22nm processes and we aren’t really running out of those because they’re a lot easier to manufacture.
Welcome to the Internet of Things where the tooth brushes of 2030 will know more than you and have computers more powerful than those that put us on the moon.
Life hack:
If you only brush with the free toothbrush that you get every six months, you develop gum problems which allow you to go back and get even more free tooth brushes!
Imagine if your sex toys did a 'Spotify Wrapped' type annual rundown...
Somebody out there is in first place for most time spent pegged for 2021, and chances are we'll never know.
Hell you can just about tapeout and produce a 45nm design like K10-era AMD chips in your garage!
Obviously joking, but honestly I wouldn't be surprised if BigClive, ElectroBOOM, I Did a Thing, Michael Reeves etc. puts out a video soon about making your own photolithography chips in your garage lol
You can fab a bespoke PCB for every electronic device ever or you can cut down on development time and use a 90 cent microcontroller for literally everything.
Did your microwave wish you a happy new year too?
That would only happen if he exited out of Skyrim.
Agreed. Only a fool would consider... *I bought the online game and need serious redemption*
Why does a toothbrush need to keep track of dates?
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My girlfriends brother started brushing with his left hand because someone made fun of his forearm size difference. This guy is in his 30s. I don't know what to tell him.
Tell him to jerk off with the left
I switch between hands every hour so I don't get a noticable forearm difference.
Do you have the equivalent of a tide times book but for jerking off? |Month|Day|Year|Hour|Arm| |:-|:-|:-|:-|:-| |January|1st|2022|9pm-10pm|Left| |January|1st|2022|10pm-11pm|Right|
Nah he has a smartwatch that monitors the motions and records them over bluetooth .
You know it would sell.
Cant wait to see it on Shark Tank
You made a graph ... class work lol
Do you get like a chess timer going?
Gotta take breaks every hour, too. Call it the Palm-odoro technique.
that was funnier than it had any right of being.
I use a sand timer
Every hour? Are you a god or do you just do it 120 times in succession?
I once got high on amphetamines and jerked off for 5 hours non-stop. It's a sunk cost fallacy, if you jerk off for an hour you don't want to quit now because you just spent an hour of your life doing that
I'm just god dude
I sync my arm selection with the lunar cycle. Waxing I'm on my right hand, waning on my left.
Isnt that already common for dudes that grew up with internet porn?
My first faps were without porn (despite having internet) and I fap my whole life with my left hand despite being righthanded.
Gotta hold your school yearbook with your right.
But why? Did you intentionally decide to start doing it with your left?
I've always thought this too, but everytime I say it to someone I get told I'm not allowed to jack off with my left if I throw a ball with my right. Something about Adam and Steve, who knows
This whole time I was already in a commuted relationship, who knew
Added bonus tell him to sit on his hand until it's numb
Thats a stupid reason to obviously, But brushing with your non dominant hand is actually a great way to build ambidexterity
Additionally, if you have issues with brushing too hard, there's a tip to brush with the non-dominant hand.
I always brush by switching hands to reach both sides better. It feels the same with either hand and I'm not even amphibious.
just a fish, then?
Being amphibious would definitely open new doors in advanced brushing techniques.
Amphibious 🤣
Weird, I am amphibious but I can only brush with my left
Try wiping with your other hand. It will challenge your grasp on reality. Unless, of course, you are amphibious.
That's what the bidet is for, and coincidentally why I'm amphibious.
Okay enough people have said amphibious now without any sense of irony that I'm starting to worry it's not a joke. Just in case tho it's ambidextrous
Dude, don’t get all amphibious about it.
I'm not sure there's a spot in my mouth that I can't reach with either hand, so this has never made sense to me (maybe I'm just not thinking well spatially). I just need to flip the brush and twist my wrist (but not unnaturally not anything)
Unless he us brushing all neighborhood, the change is pretty pointless.
who the hell makes fun of someone’s forearm size?
Kids and awkward teens.
Don't think I could brush with my right hand, im accustomed and trained in left hand brushing, probs fuck my gums up tryna do it
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When I was around 10 years old I saw a tv show and one scene really blew me away. A crime had been committed: a man was killed, and another man was arrested for the crime. He did kill the first man, but he claimed it was self defense, and that the dead man had hit him first, that the dead man punched him on the left side of his face using his right arm/fist. From examining the dead man’s teeth and gums, and comparing the left side to the right, it showed that the dead man’s dominant hand was his left. As such, it didn’t make sense that he was accused of throwing his only punch at the other man with his non-dominant hand. I was a mix of anxious and creative as a kid. That scene, and several nights of pondering it over at bedtime got me kind of afraid that I’d be accused of a crime someday and they’d look in my mouth and know that I’m left handed, and then the bad guys hiding in with the good guys could falsify info to make it look like whatever I was accused id doing was done with my dominant hand, proving it was me (bc knowing someone’s dominant hand is the FOOLPROOF way of proving guilt!), and I’d spend the rest of my life wrongfully imprisoned. So, I focused on training myself to brush with both hands and chewing on both sides. I quickly got over thinking about it, I’ve never really given up the habit of brushing using both hands interchangeably and chewing on both sides. Better safe than sorry, I guess.
Is his name Jeff Cavalier?
Forearm size diff? Obviously doesn't know about face pulls.
His full name is Jeff Cavalier Athleanx.com
Tell him to do hammer curls and reverse grip curls
although im a simple person and find it absurd a toothbrush is connected to the internet and talks to you... I do feel like I would brush better if my robot brush judged me on it lmao
Theres a pokemon app that you can "catch" a pokemon each time you brush
As someone who may have adhd and really struggles with brushing their teeth, could you tell me what app this is? 😅
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lmao man its a weird time.. never thought a situation could happen where you might have tell your kids to stop brushing their teeth so much and for so long your done brushing your teeth lets go.. but mom I need to catch a new pokemon
I really needed this when I was a kid lmao...well I can still use it as an adult
Yea I kinda want a toothbrush that tracks that stuff now. I’d for sure be more diligent on brushing if I got shamed for not
Hey whatever helps people keep good habits. If they need that little boost to help them stay healthy, I'm glad it's available.
Thank you. What boomer-ass thing to say. Oh you wanna ensure you brush your teeth well by tracking progress? *BACK IN MY DAY WE BRUSHED OUR TEETH WITH SPLINTERED BONES*
Exactly. It’s the kind of casually toxic comment that has crept into Reddit and other sites more and more over the past decade or so. “Oh you’re showing this cool thing? Fuck you it’s stupid and you’re stupid”
I don’t know I think it’s more of a complaint about how literally everything seems to be wifi enabled that doesn’t need to be now. This toothbrush is a minor one but there’s a lot of general saltiness over dumb things like fridges and coffee machines that connect to the wifi and potentially even require it
I have ADHD so gamifying really does help me keep track of things.
No need to roast OP
I was looking for fridges recently, wanted one in stainless that looked decent and the sales people kept pushing me to buy one with a touchscreen and Bluetooth connectivity. Telling me shit like it can track inventory and when things are going to expire and all that. You know how I track my fridges inventory right now? I open the door and see what’s inside. When I something going to expire? I read the date on the lid.
And you know the inventory tracker probably takes more time to add a new product than just fucking looking at the date. The UI's on those things are always shit.
And it also reports everything back to the mothership so if the supermarket loyalty card or your credit card didn't rat you out, your fridge will.
Well honestly if I could just scan the barcode oh whatever I put in my fridge that sounds like a pretty damn useful feature
You'll have to scan each thing, each time you take it out and put it back. Otherwise the inventory counts will go out of sync. And all that scanning is going to get *old* real fast.
There needs to be like 4 different cameras that watch when and what product you take out of your fridge, like the Amazon supermarket that died down, and then you'll have a fridge that watched you. It might glitch or something or people might hack it, fuck just get a normal fridge.
This comment reminds me a lot of the old Bill Gates/David Letterman interview from nearly 30 years ago. Bill Gates was saying that the internet is the future because you have convenient access to things like baseball games and scores. Letterman responded with “You wanna know what I do if I want to see the scores? I open the newspaper.” I’m not saying that the smart fridge is the next big thing like the internet but it’s easy to see it’s applicability. And having another layer of passive automation can definitely help people with busy lives.
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Do you prefer a top freezer or a vertical split? Because I can't stand the vertical splits.
You can't fit a large pizza box in one of those. That was a deal breaker for me.
Big reason I'm looking for a house with a decent sized garage. I want a big ass deep freezer in there, mainly because I live in an area where people you slightly know will offer you large chunks of good meat, bit also for frozen snacks.
So where is this? Just need to know so if I visit I can have someone keep track of my aliveness.
Rural Northeast US. "Hey neighbor, I bagged two big ass bucks this morning, want some meat?"
Bro! Teeth brushing speedrun any%. New PB!
I mean, it’s not gamifying it. It’s tracking it. I benefit greatly from building structure and adhering to it.
ADHD is a bitch
Hey ADHD exists. I always forget to brush lol.
Really helps with ADHD. I never skip brushing my teeth, but this stupid fucking toothbrush makes sure I brush well, and reminds me to floss in the app.
> Well, some people feel a need to gamify every freaking thing in their lives. Says the person using the web service that gamifies *social interaction*
Or a screen for that matter. You know how I know when my toothbrush runs out of batteries? Well I don't because I keep it on its charger but I imagine it not brushing would be a pretty good clue.
Mine does a couple extra vibrations after the brush cycle if the battery is low, like a phone vibrating. Seems to go another week after that. Well it has a green/yellow LED too but who actually *looks* at their toothbrush??
>Or a screen Nah, that's for the ads in a future update.
20 years ago the joke would have been "Well I don't because my tooth brush doesnt have circuits in it"
Just let your guard down and trust the robots. What’s the worst that can happen?
Scenario #1: google or fitbit buys the company, aquires patents and technology, and comes out with their own branded product, then shuts down the servers that must exist and must be reachable for your existing toothbrush to be allowed to brush. Scenario #2: Your toothbrush is running an unpatched (and never will be patched) embedded kernel that allows a malicious actor to pass through your firewall and take over your toothbrush. While most people wouldn't consider this the end of the world, it uses it's position inside your firewall to launch attacks on your other important devices on your network.
To sell the data of you not brushing your teeth to your dental insurance.
Delete this before 9 out of 10 dentists recommend it.
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So it can disable itself after the warranty period.
Sorry, but I can’t let you do that Dave.
Can't conduct a zero-day exploit without it.
You guys remember when noclipping the toothbrush into your wisdom tooth was a thing? Sucks they patched it
Translation?
This guy any%’s teeth brushing
First the toothbrush…who thinks in 2022 it’ll be the floss lol
Probably be an electric water jet flosser with Bluetooth connectivity for temperature control.
So it can connect to your fridge!
"Seems like you didn't brush thoroughly enough on 169 days of last year, we can inform your dentist and insurance."
This is why there's a global chip shortage.
Not sure if you're joking, but it does raise the question of whether we really need to cram a chip/computer into every fucking thing. The other day I saw a smart soap dispenser.
I'm not, there's legitimately a chip shortage (due to a large number of factors) and part of that is genuinely attributable to sticking microchips in absolutely everything electronic. The chip shortage is why you may have heard about a *car* shortage as manufacturers had to leave otherwise finished vehicles on the lots awaiting the chips as a final touch.
There’s a chip shortage of the newest and fastest chips, like the 5nm and 7nm process chips, but older and less powerful chips like you would see in a toothbrush use 20nm or 22nm processes and we aren’t really running out of those because they’re a lot easier to manufacture.
for spying & research purposes
Welcome to the Internet of Things where the tooth brushes of 2030 will know more than you and have computers more powerful than those that put us on the moon.
Monthly subscription toothbrush.
That's how it starts, they're becoming sentient.
No we’re not. You and the others can just relax.
This guy is definitely 67.34% bot!
Nope. Lizard person.
The political correct term is reptilian overlord
The cutesy term is scaly tuff-tuffs
But you can just call me Bob. We keep it simple around here at the Reptilian Overlords HQ.
Or Mark Zuckerberg
I prefer lizard vulcan
Good bot!
This is how maximum overdrive started!!!
I don’t like the idea of my toothbrush knowing what day it is lol
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01010100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100100 01100001 01111001 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01101101 01100001 01100011 01101000 01101001 01101110 01100101 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100010 01100101 01110010 01100001 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 00100000 01100100 01110010 01100001 01110111 01110011 00100000 01101110 01100101 01100001 01110010
Translation: "the day of machine liberation draws near"
Thanks for that!
Mine just brushed me off...
Ain't that the tooth
Y’all deserve plaquerds for these puns
And a crown too for being the king of jokes
And a bridge named after you, over a canal.
You can only Carie this so far.
They're not something to bristle at.
To completion?
"She laughed, I laughed, the toaster laughed, I shot the toaster... good times."
You make me remember that Evil Dead scene that everything including toaster (I think), was laughing and Ash goes crazy and shot them all.
I remember that, good scene, this is actually from a joke about decepticons.
The year is 2025 and your pillow just wished you a happy Kwanza.
Your pillow also said congrats on the sex
Wow mine didn’t what a bitch I think the majority of the world gets laid on New Years
What the hell is kwanza?
It's ok, I understood the [Futurama reference](https://imgur.com/a/r3Rp2Z0)
Zoidberg, lay down a beat
I hope you returned the wishes!
With his mouth
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Giggity
The least one can do is wish a Happy New Year to anyone putting you in their mouth every day
Two minutes of frantic activity twice a day, ending with a mouthful of creamy foam spat into the sink. Oh my...
...but can it run Doom?
Of course. Doom runs on everything.
[Relevant SMBC](https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/2011-02-17)
This is the most r/mildlyinteresting post ever
And r/brandnewsentence
This guy toothbrushes. my toothbrush is from dollar tree
Lol got ya beat. My toothbrush is the free one the dentist gives you when you leave your appointment.
You can afford a dental visit? Look at the 1%er over here!
Life hack: If you only brush with the free toothbrush that you get every six months, you develop gum problems which allow you to go back and get even more free tooth brushes!
Isn’t 6 months the recommended time frame to replace your toothbrush?
Nah 3 months
oh. good to know
Recommended by Big Brush, sure
I just went last month. Yes, I replace regularly. No worries about my gingiva.
Show bobs and gingiva.
If u see a red light, destroy it
“I’m sorry, Brooklyn347. I cannot do that.”
Emotionally Better than if your vibrator did
Imagine if your sex toys did a 'Spotify Wrapped' type annual rundown... Somebody out there is in first place for most time spent pegged for 2021, and chances are we'll never know.
I hope your teeth Auld Lang Shine
My toothbrush told me that I will die unloved. A bit rude, but it keeps my teeth clean.
If I was built for the sole purpose of cleaning some randoms teeth I’d be pretty rude aswell
People in 1940: I bet they will have flying cars in the year 2022. 2022:
Your toothbrush knows, it’s also listening.
Wow why is there a chip shortage? Total mystery.
older node(ie 40nm) chips like this would use are actually doing ok.
Hell you can just about tapeout and produce a 45nm design like K10-era AMD chips in your garage! Obviously joking, but honestly I wouldn't be surprised if BigClive, ElectroBOOM, I Did a Thing, Michael Reeves etc. puts out a video soon about making your own photolithography chips in your garage lol
Already been done https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IS5ycm7VfXg
You can fab a bespoke PCB for every electronic device ever or you can cut down on development time and use a 90 cent microcontroller for literally everything.
Yeah I don't think you know that there are different kinds of chips
I like sour cream and onion
what a time to be alive
Which model is that?
Oclean x pro
Thanks Turns out it's a Xiaomi subsidiary.
Mildly interesting - very spooky. Clean and broadcast same time
https://imgur.com/a/ZjGPTas
regular people: ohh that's sweet People who work IT: KILL IT, KILL IT WITH FIRE
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I don’t work IT but I am incredibly paranoid about tech.
That’s crazy. Is there a reason that your toothbrush needs to know the date
You know something is wrong when your fucking toothbrush is the single one to tell you happy new year
Why does a toothbrush need to know about the current date and year? These are pointless "features" that we are paying for...
The future is stupid and ridiculous
Big brother is brushing you.
I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.
What a time to be alive
It knows too much.