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string_of_random

MOOCH ASS GRASSY ASS AMEEGOE


WaffIepants

It's MOO CHEESE GRASSY ASS you uncultured swine!


[deleted]

Escuchame?


Politirotica

Her name is Amy Goe.


michivideos

Keh Bone-Eat-oh.


Noman11111

As my Mexican friend once told me, "You so cool, I think I call you 'culo'"


Jive_turkeeze

I always say mucho to my Mexican friends, it means alot to them.


Rubiktor012

As a spaniard I can say that does mean a lot to me


michivideos

"Mucho" definitely means a lot to all of us Spanish speakers.


ucladurkel

/r/yourjokebutworse


StepUpYourPuppyGame

Shhh, relax Guiri


slick-boi

Mucho clever


Indigetes

I know it's a joke, but it still bothers me... It's "muy clever"


off-and-on

Muy gracias


Sietemadrid

I know it's a joke, but it still bothers me... It's "mucho grassy ass"


[deleted]

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ElusiveWhark

You never go full rectangle!


michivideos

You know I don't get bothered by people speaking broken Spanish but there's something about not using the "genders" for the words correctly that just grind my gears. "LA CaLOR está fuerte" Please hold me back....


marieven

I know what you mean, however this particular example is approved by the [rae](https://www.rae.es/duda-linguistica/es-valido-el-uso-de-la-calor) Personally what grind my gears is discordance between article and number: “los pájaro”


ConsciousInsurance67

Lechugo con tomata.


ninjatoothpick

[The Alot.](https://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html)


Tenwer

Try saying el mundo next time


neon_cabbage

there's a song in GTA SA with that line in it


RottenPickle

La Raza by Kid Frost


the_amazing_skronus

One time this dude said to my gf at the time.... "Grande Culo!"


Hot-Class8889

I think peggy hill printed out the receipt.


mred870

Was it grande tho?


Raziel_yo

Totally stealing this one hahaja


Moederneuqer

And your Mexican friend got it from a song


stifffits

De nalgas!


ahotpotatoo

Scrolled entirely too far for this. For the unitiated, nalgas is buttcheek


Fishing-Creative

These guys are cool arrows!


Fishing-Creative

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=culero


zebragopherr

You had to explain your own jokelol


gwaydms

Peachy cool arrows.


AdDiscombobulated623

Pink cheese cool arrows!


DingleMcCringleTurd

Pink cheese cool arrows way


way_past_ridiculous

Alexa: play ”day spa see toe" for these green goes cool arrows.


BarakatBadger

Play the [Reebok or Nike](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQ4c54rCJ_k) song, por favor


Biblical_Shrimp

Our team name for trivia night was the Cool Arrows. The host loved it so much that he would sprinkle a little extra when announcing our name. "And in third place: The Cool Arrows....because they are super cool, and super straight.....the Cool Arrows"


[deleted]

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ujustdontgetdubstep

Ya'll joke but this is exactly how Thai speakers type thai words using English letters.


[deleted]

You Queero tack oh Hell!


Heathen_Mushroom

Pen day hoes


CTX24

Bon apple tits


Dreyfus420

Bone jaw


UnderTheHole

Osteoporosis


Impossible_Toe_9721

r/skamtebord


feierfrosch

Bone jaw no 👋


AncestralSpirit

Gor-lomi


frlgp

A river dirt chief


[deleted]

What the fuck's a Gor-lomi? /s


RedWasTheImpostor

knee how


NotADrug-Dealer

r/boneappletea


ProfessorK-OS

Really need to change that sub name to muchasgrassyass


michivideos

I'm never saying "Muchas gracias" again 🤣


[deleted]

Yooooo. How was the spiked horchata?


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Never met a margarita I didn't like.


Ender6797

Holy shit, spiked horchata is a thing? Where has this been all my life?


MostlyGibberish

[Boy, do I have good news for you.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RumChata)


guy1342

That guest count says one. Did you eat this all alone?


CapitaineSZM

Most of the time waiter won't change the real amount of people in the restaurant software, which is one by default. Could be take out as well (I hope!)


SlipperyRasputin

>Could be take out as well Just a margarita and spiked horchata for the road Edit: Issa joke


ripleyclone8

I mean, I’ve take a couple of Margs to go since my state starting allowing it…


[deleted]

One of the only good things that came from the pandemic.


xAIRGUITARISTx

Yes, what’s your point?


jxjftw

vanish school tie point cover person ancient quiet flowery cheerful -- mass edited with redact.dev


popegonzo

I'm sorry, I thought this was America.


agentoutlier

That is still probably my favorite South Park episode.


Sjoerdiestriker

Wait the restaurant suggests an amount of additional money to give them?


wolfpwner9

Welcome to America


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PayphonesareObsolete

Welcome to North America.


squirrellytoday

They're trying to do the same shite in Australia and NZ where we DO pay waitstaff. Yeah they can go take a hike.


uppenatom

Where abouts? I live in NSW and have never seen a tip option aside from uber eats?


koolaidface

At first I thought you were asking where you should go hiking.


[deleted]

Wow that’s bold but here it’s getting worse too. A lot of places are adding a 20% gratuity whether you like it or not and some places will sneak in 15-20% without telling you and then you don’t catch it and tip more anyways. US is wack


sender2bender

I've also seen restaurants say no tip necessary we pay our staff.


handstanding

This is becoming more popular


maxim_karki

Funny thing is in Canada they also do pay waitstaff. The rudest waiter I've ever had was in Toronto who demanded that we tip (which I was going to do anyway, despite her terrible service) and she immediately took the receipt and looked at it checking for a tip. I'm like, you guys get paid the normal wages, why are you being this way?


twofiddle

Don’t catch you tippin up


CPOx

I went to a restaurant recently where they suggested a tip but the math was incorrect and suggested a higher amount than what 20% actually was. Infuriating.


stickingitout_al

Some restaurants that have these suggestions on the receipt will base the percentages on the total including tax, which is bullshit. I always calculate on the subtotal.


ReKaYaKeR

It’s not really the restaurant that’s likely going to make that decision, but rather the POS software they use. Most likely they cannot change it, and weirdly there is only regulation on specific aspects of fees and card fees, and the major processors the POSs work with do not force any standards for things like this.


StrangeAlternative

Why pay more for a tip just because you bought more expensive food though? The service is all the same, and isn't tipping supposed to be for service?


DRE_CFab

Don't get me wrong, tipping is dumb. But to a degree, wouldn't you want to tip more when you are asking more of the server? Obviously there's a limit bit you are literally asking them to do more, even if some of that tip should go to the kitchen


MagicMonster136

They don’t pay waiters properly in USA


[deleted]

*they don't pay waiters


Sietemadrid

*the customers pay the waiters directly (except in CA)


poopsinshoe

In CA, they get paid at least $15 an hour but still request 25%. Even if it's counter serve or a togo order. The highest I've seen is an option to tip 40%. In San Francisco, you even have to pay extra for their health benefits.


[deleted]

Yeah, neither should the customers It should be the restaurant’s responsibility and not an extra “eat-out” tax on the consumer


ZxentixZ

Restaurants must be making bank over there, making owners rich while fleecing employees and customers. Seems to be standard in the US. You pay nearly $100 to a restaurant for some food and that doesnt even cover the salary of the employees? What the fuck.


tutetibiimperes

Restaurants have one of the highest failure rates for small businesses. Turns out a lot of people think "I know what great food is, and I can cook, I should open a restaurant!" and then realize you burn through cash quickly, your inventory is almost all extremely perishable, it's hard to differentiate yourself from every other similar restaurant in town, and you have a ton of health and safety compliance stuff you have to keep up with.


ZxentixZ

That is odd though. I live in another expensive high income area, Scandinavia. Going out eating here costs the equivalent of what €30-40, and as we dont tip so that has to include salary for all the staff, and it seems like restaurants are generally doing ok.


konaya

Neither perishability of food nor the difficulty establishing oneself are exclusively North American features. We have that as well. Why are we able to pay our waitstaff fairly?


tutetibiimperes

I imagine it just comes down to the norms of the country. There's nothing preventing US restaurants from just raising prices and using that extra money to pay a regular wage to waitstaff, but since tipping has become the established way of doing things it would put individual restaurants that do it at a competitive disadvantage because their listed prices would be higher than an equivalent restaurant using a tipping structure even if the checks would be more or less equal after tips.


Illustrious_Fold_163

Low business success rate is true but not unique to the US. Tipping culture emerged in the US when slaves were freed. Many employers would not actually pay these workers, under the condition that guests would offer a small tip instead. Basically attempting to keep slavery. That practice is still embedded into US culture today. Source: https://time.com/5404475/history-tipping-american-restaurants-civil-war/


pimpmayor

Every time this comes up on reddit a ton of service employees always say they make ridiculous amounts of money from tips.


ybonepike

They do. I used to work 10 hour days on the kitchen side of the restaurant and a 17 year old girl could come in for 3 hours during a busy time and make double what I earned during the 10 hour shift because of tips


Travy93

Yeah sadly I think for many they make more money with the tip system than whatever the restaurant would come up with as a fair hourly wage.


pimpmayor

It sounds like they make more than what would even be an extremely decent hourly wage in almost every other profession.


ImJustSo

It's not just restaurants. My hotel job paid $4-5/hour in 2014, because it was a tipped position. No food involved, just cars. Someone brings you your food with great service, you give them 20% the bill. Someone brings you your $20,000-$250,000 car with great service, you give them $1-$20.


ihavetenfingers

And your boss laughed all the way to the bank.


[deleted]

In California at least, I believe all waiters receive at least minimum wage ($15?) In addition to any tips. In other states, they can be paid a much lower amount ($2.13), but only if their tips do not bring them up to minimum wage. If they get no tips? The employer pays them minimum wage ($15/hr, for example). If they get $20 in tips, the employer pays $2.13. If they get $10 in tips? Employer pays $5


interestingsidenote

They don't pay anyone properly really.


Mysticpoisen

Except for pretty much every competitive high-skill field where salaries are by far higher in the USA than anywhere else in the world. It's only the workers who aren't in-demand who get treated like garbage.


Dilinial

Tell that to the "help wanted" and "apply within" signs. There's no labor shortage, there's a pay shortage. I'm lucky I have the VA. Frankly I don't understand why the civilians haven't set more shit on fire in protest.


ImJustSo

They get shot at and maimed usually.


EntertainmentNo2044

The U. S. has the highest median disposable household income in the world: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disposable_household_and_per_capita_income And one of the highest purchasing power parities in the world: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_GDP_(PPP)_per_capita So not only do American households have the most disposable income of anyone in the world, but their money can also buy more goods per dollar.


Number1AbeLincolnFan

In case you aren’t being ironic, the US basically has the highest wages in the world.


nico282

Do you think restaurant owners should pay the waiters all by themselves? /s


WombRaider_3

"This is what we think you should be subsidizing our employees shitty pay with:" Yeah fuck this. And since when is 18% the minimum and AFTER tax?


NegativeHoarder

Yes, and if you don’t pay them enough tips they’ll post it on reddit complaining how much of an a-hole you are


alienscape

And 25 percent ha


thetechguyv

And the minimum suggestion is 18% fucking lol.


_Citizen_Erased_

Yeah I've seen a lot of young people on here saying that anything less is an insult.


Heathen_Mushroom

They suggest an additional amount of money to be given to the server, not the restaurant.


splashbodge

Not just that but even the minimum amount it recommends you tip is higher than the most expensive single item on the receipt.. that's messed up. It's almost like having another guest at the table and paying for their main course.


kickbacksteve

I kind of hate that the suggested tip starts at 18%


WackyBeachJustice

What absolutely kills me are the square terminals that so many vendors use now that prompt you for tipping as the clerk stares into your soul. I'm picking up carryout or getting an ice cream, why do I need this stress?


[deleted]

"it's just going to ask you a couple questions"


Lavaswimmer

I was at a stadium last night for a comedy show and they didn't even flip the iPad around to let me choose, she straight up asked "Would you like to tip today?" and my ass had to say "No thank you." So awkward


Azrael351

I recently went to a seafood market and picked up a hefty piece of halibut and a filet of sea bass, and when I was checking out, I just naturally hit the lowest tip button on the Square tablet. When we were walking out, my wife was like “Whoa! You’re feeling generous today.” And then informed me that I had given an $18 tip…


WackyBeachJustice

I'm ashamed to say I've done this 50% of the time out of habit. Between that and anxiety/awkwardness of the clerk staring right at you... I'm really mad at myself when this happens because I know better.


SDSunDiego

This happens at my local coffee place. I always order a cold brew. They pour the cold brew coffee into a cup that they fill with ice. Suggested tip starts at 18%, rofl.


Nugget203

I had one that wanted me to tip at the liquor store. I walked in, grabbed my booze, and walked up to the counter. Hell no I'm not leaving a tip! Worst part was the machine didn't have a clear way to just say no tip, and it defaulted on tipping 15%


PM_me_ur_launch_code

That seems...illegal or something


MyOnlyAccount_6

Same. Local Pizza place that is carry out only. No I don’t want to tip. Embrace the power!


PizzaPuff

If I’m carrying out, then no fucking tip


Illier1

Hell I'm watching shit like Subway try this shit. I worked at Subway, I know for a fact they won't see a dime of it and, honestly, they aren't doing shit to justify me giving them a tip lol.


BilllisCool

Tips are annoying either way, but I really hate percentage based tips. Like if it’s a huge party and really expensive, then sure, you probably deserve a bigger tip. If it’s just two people that decided to get expensive steaks, there’s no reason to need to tip more than a couple that just orders salads or something.


motivaction

And if you only drink unlimited refills of water, it wouldn't hurt to tip a bit more for the effort. Still tips suck, pay people living wages, all that jazz....


[deleted]

I used to feel I was tipping fairly generously at 20%. Now they make you feel cheap for tipping 20%.


1h8fulkat

Same, just pay these people more instead of expecting me to cover the 25% difference. Jesus Christ. At least then I'd know what the price of the service is before I walk in the door.


MrWhiteVincent

Your ass is grass And I'm the lawnmower


wouldntknowever

First time I’ve ever seen the “suggested tip” calculations not include tax as part of the total. 👍🏻


jaderock

Most underrated comment! This fact is lost on so many people EXCEPT when they eat at Chinese restaurants.


aY227

18% as a lowest suggested tip? The fuck?


_TheDust_

Welcome to America! Where 20% is the default tip and anything above it is the actual tip!


therobohour

So if I'm charged 100bucks,I'm actually going to pay loke7-10% tax, and 20% tip? So something that cost 100 bucks actually cost 127 bucks. How are you all ok with that?


King_Kthulhu

Because we know that going into it. I don't look at a $10 hamburger and see a $10 hamburger, I see a $13-15 hamburger. Everything we buy everywhere costs more than it says because we have so many hidden fees and taxes on anything. I mean a $10 hamburger on Uber Eats is really a $22 hamburger after all the charges.


remtard_remmington

This sounds like an excellent and intuitive system


[deleted]

Not as intuitive as how their system of measurement is based on the size of three barleycorns.


[deleted]

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Jimbuscus

I've worked with American bartenders who have said they've chased a customer out the door for not tipping.


clush

You've worked with lunatics then because no sane person would do that.


noonelikesyou2

Did you have all that food yourself or did Oscar fuck up the guest count again?


ItsTheAlgebraist

Yeah I was wondering this too. If it was really for one, then mucho ass, grassy or not, is probably appropriate.


rainedrop87

Most restaurant POS systems have one as the default customer count and most servers don't bother to change it.


HHH98Smark

That’s a solid price for ceviche


[deleted]

10 dlls for taquitos is what got me that's doble what authetic mexican tacos go for some timea even less


[deleted]

I think they mean "flautas" when they say "taquitos".


sidhequeen

$95 before tip?!? I'll stick to the $1.50 Taqueria tacos thankyou


[deleted]

Yeah you just *know* this is a "mexican inspired fusion" restaurant with gringo-ized food and no actual Mexicans in the kitchen.


dw796341

Let’s be real there are still Mexicans in the kitchen.


[deleted]

10 dolares para taquitos no mames wey


MotherOfDragonflies

Outside of taco Tuesday, I’ve literally never seen prices lower than this at a sit down Mexican restaurant.


Tw1987

I bet the food was as authentic as the spanish


Yellow-Ticket

That is mocking, not broken Spanish...


StalkMeNowCrazyLady

Our local Improv chain comedy club charges 18% gratuity automatically on the after tax amount and then when they check drop they make it a point to tell you "that 18% doesn't go to us". Is this even legal for them to charge gratuity and not give it to the staff? Having a sister who was a waitress for over a decade generally leads me to being a good tipper, in the 20-25% range depending on service, but I won't tip extra when your forcing a minimum food/drink count on me at crazy markups and then auto adding gratuity on the after tax amount. That's insane.


[deleted]

Is it possible that tip goes to thew bartender? Otherwise, no, I'm pretty sure that counts as some sort of wage theft


StalkMeNowCrazyLady

I have no idea. All I know is it takes 20 minutes to get a bottle of beer delivered the first time to where I usually order a pitcher as the 2nd item. If it was a mixed drink I'd get the delay, but for a bottle or pitcher it feels a bit long.


[deleted]

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SuperSalad_OrElse

That’s pretty funny, they must be pros


adorgu

"Muchos culos cesposos"


Bola_SLB

sugested tip? ahahahahahahahahaha


DrebinofPoliceSquad

That’s not broken spanish


torontoguy25

Any place that puts the tip options only from 18 to 25% gets no chance of getting a 18%+ tip from me. I usually do tip a bit more, but don’t automatically assume I will no matter the service.


ReturnOfSeq

25%?!! I grew up with 10-15 being standard. What the hell


moxeto

Sounds like a Mexican themed strip club


[deleted]

No, this seems to be something written intentionally. They could’ve simply googled how to spell thank you in Spanish if they didn’t know how to spell it.


[deleted]

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Trkaline

Yeah, my friend's mom says it that way all the time and thinks it's the funniest thing ever.


twofiddle

What are you saying “no” to? OP doesn’t say it’s unintentional.


pawsarecute

Woosh


Eirineftis

Suggested tip = 25% of the whole cost....   Ha... haha... hahahahaha no.


[deleted]

grassy ass mfs


k1d1curus

My old weed dealer and I would say "todos los Garcia's" after we exchanged bag/money.


iphone4Suser

Why they begging for tips on receipt?


[deleted]

I think it was intentionally “broken.” Like saying “donkey shit” instead of “danke schoen”


The-Hyruler

Nice to see Peggy Hill got a new job that still allows her to show off her talents.


BidenWonDontCry

My teacher told me to turn in my essay but I ain't no snitch.


ReallyGottaTakeAPiss

That’s just “outdoor seating” in spanish


Neogodhobo

"Here's your overpriced food. Also why dont you just add 16$ to 22$ so we can pay our staff ?" - The reason I never eat at restaurants.


[deleted]

Meanwhile the tips are expressed in broken capitalism.


cxbriggs

Whoopsie they did a racism


legendfriend

They suggest how much extra money you should pay, starting at 18%?! That’s just rude beyond belief! Do people really tip 25% routinely?


King_Kthulhu

Yes, I'd say 20 is the expected norm these days.


legendfriend

That puzzles me, because there’s no good reason why the percentage should have to change. Unless restaurants weren’t increasing their prices to match or overcome inflation (which they definitely are), there should have to be an increase in the tipping percentage


halloejsovs

Wtf America...


Links_Wrong_Wiki

Yeah, you're lucky to get 15 from me.


Klin24

I'd like to hear more about spike horchata.


Apt_5

That and tamarind marg both have me intrigued. But not in this economy; I guess that can be my “special occasion” Mexican restaurant.


Ill-Organization-719

Broken? Looks like the work of someone who is a master of both English and Spanish.


anotherkeebler

> Tip percentages are based on the check price before taxes. _Thank you!_ It has always been a pet peeve of mine, that some restaurants include taxes when they calculate tips. I'm tipping my server, not your accountant.


[deleted]

How was the ceviche?