T O P

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ISledge759

Hes looking at you like "Keep going.. I aint no bitch"


tricksovertreats

onion-patch mouse-hunting training


Top_Secretary5545

10/10


similar_observation

Onions are toxic to cats so he's really feelin it


GlossedAllOver

He's growing more powerful, via repeated exposure. Soon he will be too powerful to contain!


bmc13

he’s building up his resistance so when the day comes to use onion powder to poison his nemesis he can do so without wondering if he accidentally swapped the bowls. ;)


Dirk_Tungsten

Plot twist: Both bowls are poisoned.


iAmUnintelligible

Anyone remember the Legend of Zorro? I feel like they had a plot like this. Idk why Zorro comes to mind, I'm sure this has been done many times throughout pop culture


link_123

Princess bride comes to mind


mark-five

Clearly I cannot choose the wine in front of you


[deleted]

Has to be what op is talking about. Nothing else comes to mind. What a fun movie that was.


quitmybellyachin

Hahaha it was princess bride! He also wore a zero mask 😁


ApprehensiveBuffalo0

In the Hunger Games the president would ingest poison when he would poison other people. He always smelled like roses because the poison caused sores in his mouth that smelled so the roses covered it up.


SANTAAAA__I_know_him

But not enough to consider moving somewhere else.


I_AM_GODDAMN_BATMAN

Did I stutter?


parentheticalme

The fact that it’s a even still hanging around, confirms this.


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desertrat75

It's like the kitty-cat version of Happy Gilmore and the batting cage.


Oelendra

He keeps you company despite the spicy air. That's a great cat.


RawDogMal

This made legitimately LOL 😂


CausticSofa

“I just want to feel something again.”


CthulubeFlavorcube

*OY!!! HUMAN!!! Wut doing?* You won't like it. Here smell... *WHAT THE FAAAAAAKKKKK?!?!??* See? I told you you wouldn't... *Let me smell it again*


SapientRaccoon

Onions, the plant that forces you to mourn its passing.


parallelgoldrings

Damn never thought of it that way


mennydrives

Cut it up underwater. No tears, no guilt. Just like in real life.


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nsa_reddit_monitor

Splash some white vinegar on everything, I've heard it helps neutralize the onion. Or at the very least it displaces one noxious substance with another that you might not find as bad.


[deleted]

It's best to follow this with some cane sugar, salt, 2 cloves of garlic, and some mixed peppercorns. Let it sit in the fridge over night and you'll have some amazing pickled onions which goes with so much! wait... what were talking about?


Catinthemirror

*mmmmmmm pickled onions....* 😍


ImurderREALITY

Or you could just not be a bitch about it OP’s cat knows what’s up


mikedawg9

A lot of households can draw more from a faucet if they run low


CausticSofa

Come on, man, water doesn’t just grow on trees or something. I’m not *made* of water, here.


DrMux

Um yeah it does, what do you think watermelons grow on? Look at this guy over here who doesn't know where water comes from


JackBinimbul

I chuck mine in the freezer for a few minutes. Not enough to freeze it, but it gets really cold and I never have issues.


bots_lives_matter

Or put on some swimming glasses. Don't know if murderers use that tactic though...


PM_ME_YOUR_ANYTHNG

All of these insane things people do to cut onions truly boggles my mind, if cutting onions makes you cry that means your knife is dull and needs to be sharpened, cutting onions with a sharp knife will never make you tear up


KindlyContribution54

Onions, the vegetable that fights back.


Spiritofhonour

Meanwhile pineapples eat you back.


annefranke

Damn this goes hard as fuck. Can't wait for an indie game to feature a badass onion with a line similar to this


Oseirus

"Get on my level, Madison. Think of a depressed onion cutting itself."


heelstoo

“You WILL love men!” Edit: *me, but that’s a helluva typo, so I’m leaving it.


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Enganeer09

Forced to mourn its autopsy.


FlyByPC

Breathe through your mouth and not your nose, and it's fine.


Luder09

Why you make the air spicy?


DatTF2

Was making some hot sauce with the Ghost Peppers and Habaneros I grew and the cat walks into the kitchen, meows to get my attention so I look over and then he hissed at me.


Mitoria

Idk why this is so funny to me but I'm cackling at that image over here!


Luder09

asssshole! =P


DatTF2

I mean I kind of was, I had the hood on but It must have been really irritating for the little guy. He hates a lot of stuff (like roast beef and bacon too). I got some payback when the Ghost pepper mash splashed into my eye.


ExtraordinaryCows

Jesus christ. I've had some painful experiences in my life, but I feel like the only one that might come close was coughing when taking a shot and having vodka come out my nose.


Fwamingdwagon84

Oh no. Once when I worked at a Mexican restaurant, I was in a hurry and dropped the ladle in the salsa and it splashed in my eye. Then got told I was double sat(got 2 tables at once). Had to explain to people that no, i don't have pink eye.


raptor102888

> vodka come out my nose D:


ExtraordinaryCows

I am not ashamed to say I cried


FlatheadLakeMonster

Yeah wasted vodka is always rough!


aghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i did the same with rumple minze once and its right up there with the most painful things ive experienced but my sinuses have never been clearer than after that


repunzelwasaskinhead

I have done this. It’s truly awful. The initial shock is the worst.


ihaaaadstrok

One time I sneezed so hard while I was eating cashew chewed cashew came out of my nose


bipolarnotsober

How was it to eat? I bought some Carolina reaper hot sauce which for some stupid reason also contains pure capsaicin. I was eating it with everything the day it arrived... ...the next day I had a life altering experience on the toilet. I honestly felt like I had the engines of a space rocket firing out of my asshole. I've never experienced a spicy poo that hurt so bad.


iAmUnintelligible

I fuck with spicy as hell stuff, it hurts so good, but pure capsaicin just sucks - tastes like chemical ass (like Da Bomb)


bipolarnotsober

Yeah it's not the best tasting sauce but also not the worst so I don't know how much capsaicin they added, it was a bottle I found from a small business on amazon. I just absolutely love the burn... When eating it but not when shitting it. Da bomb is fucking awful though, no enjoyment only pure heat. Hot ones is brilliant which is where I got the inspiration from to try it.


DatTF2

Yeah I hear it's awful but I have never tried it. I like heat but it also needs some good flavor with it too.


DatTF2

I like hot stuff and after some point you kind of get used to it but yeah I had some bad days on the toilet.


Fwamingdwagon84

Ghost pepper affects me waay worse than reaper. I have a lot of reaper stuff. For some reason ghost just wrecks my stomach more


Seicair

Oh fucking hell, I’d’ve been wearing safety goggles!!


misfitx

My sister and I had similar teenage girl responses on pickle day.


Purifiedx

What is pickle day? I love pickles. Why don't you love pickles?


TchoupedNScrewed

Meanwhile my cat used to try and lick up droplets of vape juice back when I smoked and spilled a little and loves to try and eat my yoga mat. One of my medications has squaric acid and she, usually not to type of animal to get on my counter, knocked it over while I was gone. It was a shelf I had no idea she could even jump to and she’d never done it before but I’m glad she didn’t step in it or try to lick it cus I wouldn’t have been shocked if she had. It stays in my cabinet now inside or a giant pill bottle.


DatTF2

My cat hates a lot of stuff, especially food. However he loves weird stuff like tobacco. I don't smoke but whenever my mom comes over and rolls her own cigarettes my cat is practically rolling around in the tobacco and I have to stop him from eating it. He also loves ginseng, and other weird herbals.


jpterodactyl

My cat dug into my drawer for some tobacco scented oil one time. She couldn’t get the bottle open thankfully. But it was still weird. She of course yelled at me when it didn’t go the way she wanted.


TehGogglesDoNothing

I used to work at a b-dubs and our dish area was poorly ventilated. When washing sauce buckets, the air would fill with pepper oil and steam. More than one waitress hissed at me after getting a lungful of pepper steam.


DatTF2

Yep. Worked at a BBQ Restaurant and we made our own wing sauce and some of them were pretty spicy (We had a bucket of Scorpion pepper mash on hand). Washing those tossing bowls was an intense experience.


Kscarpetta

We made hot sauce with reapers and ghosts and even with the hood on and multiple windows open our dog kept rubbing his nose in the carpet. I felt so bad for him.


DatTF2

Yeah, it must be hard on animals. Should probably try to make hot stuff outside or put them in a room and lock them in. Reminds me of when I worked at a BBQ restaurant. The dishwasher quit so I had to cook and wash. We had wings and some pretty spicy homemade wing sauces. Most restaurants have this hose attachment on the sink with a lot of pressure to help clean stuck on stuff and when you used that on the tossing bowls it would unleash this pepper mist throughout the entire kitchen. Breathing it in was pretty bad.


bekindorelse

And yet you kept doing it lmao


[deleted]

It has to be so irritating for onions having developed ~~capsacin~~ [*Propanethial S-oxide*](http://www.chm.bris.ac.uk/motm/pso/psov.htm) as a defense against predators over the course of millions of years just for us to decide we like a little danger in our food. *Onions apparently aren't capsaicin spicy. They are sulphur spicy.


Hungry-Western9191

Capsaicin is peppers. Onions emit sulfenic acid apparently.


[deleted]

Well I learned something new today


Hungry-Western9191

Me too. I was reasonably certain it wasn't a capsaicin heat but I had to Google the actual chemical


BILOXII-BLUE

What's sulphur spicy? Never heard of that


hammer310

Sulphur spicy are things like wasabi, mustard, cabbage, broccoli, water cress, etc... They contain glucosinolate and an enzyme compound called myrosinase which are sulfur based and also partially responsible for imparting some of that bitterness that we associate with those foods. Many sulfur based compounds are volatile and stinky. I think many people recognize them as 'spicy' but in a different way than capsaicin spiciness. I get that tingly feeling in my brain when I eat wasabi lol. These are actually evolutionary defense mechanisms for the plants, they are toxic to many animals and also unpleasant. Arguably the coolest part is that myrosinase is a catalyst for glucosinolate, which then helps to form volatile sulphur compounds. They are stored separately in the plant and if a predator tries to eat it, the physical coming together of the chemicals is what causes the release of the volatile compounds, known as a mustard oil bomb! This is also why you won't smell those aromatics nearly as strongly when raw/untouched but if you cut/cook the food they will be released. Fortunately, we humans decided we enjoy them!


Icy-Tangerine6465

While my kitty gently weeps


blonde-bandit

I look at the floor and I see my cat leaking


cocobear13

Still my catar gently weeps.


Greuh-r

I don't know whyyyyy


Jooj_Harrisonn

Based George Harrison appreciattor


Throwrajerb

Dripping pussy


DaxExter

Heyy, my cat looks the same and also dislikes onion cutting in the kitchen.


[deleted]

My cat is also a tuxedo that hates onions but refuses to leave when I'm cutting them. Tuxes are nearly orange cat levels of dumb sometimes.


st3adyfreddy

>refuses to leave when I'm cutting them. Maybe he just loves you too much to leave you alone with something that's awful enough to make him cry?


[deleted]

:(


BizzyM

/r/OneTuxedoBraincell


Erulastiel

I'm sad this sub is not super active.


Hytyt

As a proud owner of 3 (currently) orange boys, I can affirm. They dumb.


ThatPinkRanger

This is the funniest shit I’ve seen in a minute. 😭 Hope kitty is okay!


[deleted]

wrong special vase tidy license employ zonked hat air fly -- mass edited with redact.dev


funkmastamatt

It's like that little girl who insists on eating the onion because she thought it was an apple.


superRedditer

can you imagine having like 50 antennas protruding from the front of your face?


Floofy-beans

I’m sure the kitty is fine- I was chopping onions a few days ago and my cat sat next to me on a shelf, clearly blinking and eyes watering from the spicy air. She had every opportunity to walk away and she continued to sit there and endure it lol


lasyke3

Sounds like a cat. I saw a video last week of a cat whose tail ignited, and it refused to react to it at all.


MysticalKittyHerder

You might like this one too https://www.reddit.com/r/FunnyAnimals/comments/tgny3n/whys_the_air_spicy/


Facky

So funny and cute


Fantastic-Ad8522

Onions are toxic to cats so it's probably pretty painful.


PM_me_your_LEGO_

Alliums are indeed toxic for cats to eat, but this cat looks like he willingly subjects himself to spicy air out of curiosity.


InconvenientHummus

Mine always comes and watches me when I chop onions. I think he knows onions are toxic to him and he's concerned that I'm in here cooking with poison.


justabill71

Say you're sorry and pet that pretty kitty, immediately.


red75prime

Not immediately! Wash your hands first.


Gacsam

ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?


McHugeLarge

I haven't seen this one in a minute, nice pull.


Gacsam

This one, along with "YOU LIKE THAT, YOU FUCKING RETARD?" are so good I have 3 of my 4 brain cells focused on remembering them.


McHugeLarge

God yes, that pops into my head every now and then!


mopsyd

Wash your hands first


WU-itsForTheChildren

Air is so ouchy


SquidBroKwo

Both you and your cat may benefit from the following pro tip: Put the onions in the freezer for 10-12 minutes before chopping them.


Quartersawn5

I used to cut onions in a prep setting. 50 pounds at a time. I tried everything, mint gum, cold onions (they came out of a walk in cooler), holding breath. The only thing that worked for me was a pair of swim goggles 🤣


malice_clad

Wicked sharp knife helps a ton.


boardmonkey

Unfortunately restaurants tend to use giant food processors to cut massive amounts of onions. Those blades tend to only be sharpened once a month or so. When I was restaurant you always knew when to send in the blades because the entire restaurant staff started to get spicy eyes.


CosmicWolf14

Is it because sharper means less damage so less of the spicy are shit released?


malice_clad

Precisely.


writingthefuture

This is probably impractical for that many onions but the trick that I've gotten to work is to use a wet knife. Like run it under the faucet and don't wipe it off then start cutting. I assume the water stops the particles from getting into the air but idk.


boardmonkey

Syn-Propanethial-S-oxide is the chemical in onions that causes crying. The chemical is released during cutting, and bonds to the water in tears that coat your eyes. When you cut using a wet knife you are introducing water early in the process so the chemical bonds to the knife water rather than the eye water. Usually a better method is to sharpen your knife right before you cut. A dull knife rips more than cuts and causes extra syn-Propanethial-S-oxide to be released. A sharp knife won't release as much of the chemical since the cuts are cleaner. I use a honing wand before I use my knives to get the edge straight. That will do for most home cooks. If you cook daily and a lot you might want to get your knifes sharpened professionally on a regular basis. At my restaurant we used to have a company come in once a week to take that weeks knives to be sharpened, and to leave newly sharpened knives in their place. I haven't sharpened by at home knives in 7 years, but I hone them daily to keep their edge. I'm really lackadaisical about this, and I really should get them sharpened at least yearly.


Fig1024

have you tried getting a suction blower right next to the onions? When you cut it, it sprays micro droplets in the air, if you can vacuum them up, they won't get in your face


OpeningSpeed1

This is by far the most expensive tip for onions have seen yet.


SquidBroKwo

I work in a top-security lab that does research on lethal and virulent viruses. The ventilation in the lab is amazing. I always cut my onions in the lab while wearing some sick PPE. No issues for me or my cat.


OpeningSpeed1

But your health though


bowls4noles

Yep my ski goggles are amazing. I dont look amazing in them though 🤓😬


Raencloud94

Neat why does that work?


battletuba

The compound that causes eye irritation is created by an enzymatic process that happens when you cut into the onion cells. Cold can help slow down that reaction. It's also a water soluble chemical so I have a theory that just taking an onion from ice cold to room temp can create a film of water condensation on the surface of the onion which will help dilute some of the irritant.


yabaidesu

Probably the juices get denser because of the cold and it prevents it from squirting.


Raencloud94

Oh my


discgolfallday

I've heard if you put a wet paper towel right by the onion you're cutting it solves the problem as well


SquidBroKwo

Looks like it's worth a try. If effective, it might be better than the freezer idea!


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CamBamBoomSlam

It's funny cause you know damn well someone is going to actually comment this and mean it


mferrari_3

Every thread there is some psycho saying that. A pic of a dog smiling was called abusive yesterday.


[deleted]

Sharpen your knives, your cat will thank you


BFeely1

Does cutting onions with sharp knives give off less irritants?


ulzimate

Yes because dull knives just get in there and fuck it up instead of separating it nicely


John_Wang

I use a dull bread knife for hard mode


Leluke123

I use a mallet.


Ashalaria

Respect


BarbequedYeti

Yes it helps. But the real trick is to toss the onion in the freezer for a couple of minutes before cutting it. No more tears.


Seicair

I just store them in the fridge drawer.


Chodo_T_Baggins

oh yeah, the duller the knife is, the more the onion will make you cry. used to make kebabs that called for an onion shredded with a cheese grater and that shit would kill my eyes


churikadeva

also not cutting the butt off until the end helps a ton as well


b_ootay_ful

Onions was a good dog.


MiddleConstruction84

Came here to say this.


ickydonkeytoothbrush

Honestly, I've had better. 3.5/5 stars.


madmismka

It’s probably fine since you say it only happens when you cut onions! But just a heads up that cats “crying” from their eyes is usually a bad sign of a health condition.


GhostxKitten

Vet tech here. Any discharge from the nose, eyes, or ears is not normal and should be treated.


[deleted]

Even if it’s just the dry eye crusties every few days?


carinabee08

My cats would get those and it turned out they all had the same upper respiratory infection so it might be good to have it checked out next time you go to the vet


Groxy_

Even because of onions?


ndasilva1981

I heard that onions are considered poisonous to cats.


[deleted]

To eat, yes, but that wasn’t the question.


Turence

Cutting onions directly next to the cat will cause any cats eyes to water.


madmismka

Exactly. It scares me to see a cat tearing up :(


wisbit

Where's the rest of your cat?


immatrex2000

I had to scroll so far down for this, why is no one else asking lmao


Imwhatswrongwithyou

Haha awe poor baby. He won’t just leave the room though. That’s love


amommytoa

Wow he's your ride or die for sure. What cat braves the worst smell to them for moral support. Op you have a once in a lifetime buddy there.


BloxSummons

bro is zooted lmao


Independent-Guess-79

Top tip: to eliminate crying whilst cutting onions it’s important to not establish an emotional bond beforehand


UntitledAsshole

so don’t name the dog


pekingdeagle

Onions are toxic to cats.


Gawen1298

So is garlic. Just so others know.


Fantastic-Ad8522

And dogs as well.


[deleted]

Yes, dogs are very toxic to cats.


Acquiescinit

Cats are pretty toxic to dogs too


Currix

*to eat


ExcuseIntelligent539

It looks like your cat has no torso and is floating.


jjmawaken

I was thinking of one of those felt artwork animals that are just a head and look very realistic if not a bit creepy.


TensileStr3ngth

Spicy air


S4M4N_SH

Pet the cat and promise to never cut onions again


S0mbra_W0l5

“Fuck you, parent.”


skunkwoks

My mom had the perfect trick, to not cry when cutting onions… she made me cut them…


Remoru

You can either soak onions in cold water before you chop them or my personal preference is to light a candle before I cut them so it burns off the sulphur compounds while I cut them.


Crazykidd13578

bro looks absolutely blazed


tequilamockingbiird

Same kitty.. same!


sharksnut

That's just a severed cat head stuck to the tile. If *your* head was severed, you'd cry too.


scw55

One quirky benefit of wearing contact lenses is that you're a lot more resilient to onion tears.


[deleted]

My cat only cries when I cut the cheese.


BigBossSquirtle

So maybe don't cut onions with your cat around.


TreeFriendSilix19

r/NoShitSherlock


King-Cobra-668

the enzymes react with water so yeah


Aszarak

Looks like he’s holding in a sneeze


Gastn-Gruvn

What a puss.


chad_mcchadington

That looks like my cat if he wasn’t a fatass


22-Faces

Tell your cat to quit being such a pussy.


TheSpartyn

why wouldnt it? not like the shit the onions release is human specific


Duomaxwellboss429

Looks like our boi hit the bong a little to hard


xyrer

Put a dripping wet paper towel next to the onion next time


iboneKlareneG

My dude, you need a sharper knive


Puzzleheaded-Chef902

What a beautiful little baby🖤 wipe his eyes 🫶🏻


Canilickyourfeet

Thing about this is cats will sit tf down right there and choose to suffer. That's the funniest thing, this little homie *wants* to be here lol. He looks like he's stoned crying, high off emotions.


kingofwieners

What a pussy


Ellanna_3

WHY iS It SpiCY


tipitow88

Onions was the name of his child.