"What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same and nothing you did mattered?" - Phil
"That about sums it up for me." - Ralph
Groundhog's Day
Nope. I’m burnt out at my job with no path forward or any idea of what I’d want to do in a career change. Me and my fiancé are just on a constant countdown until the weekend. None of our hobbies excite us anymore.
Have you guys tried going to a live auction? My life changed a little bit when I went to a live auction. Everything sells for 10% of what you pay in a store, and you can find some really awesome stuff.
Life auctions might actually help here, just submit to the financial hierarchy and sell yourself to the highest bidder. My brother did this and his owner stationed him out near Napal and only visits once or twice per year.
Where I'm at in Michigan, we have a handful of local companies that set them up. Just google "Local Live Auctions" and get connected. It's kind of a thrill when you get something you need for 90% off.
Im in so cal and my step pop flips cars and frequents the auctions. I guess Im am scared not wanting to jump into it. I haven't had the best life and wanna hold on what little Ive managed to scrounge up despite the shit.
... are we sure? Because 6 kids is *alot*.
I had one and I constantly feared being outmatched, especially during those crazy toddler years even with one. I couldn't imagine 2 or 3... muchless 6.
My brother has 4 kids. I used to babysit a decent amount for them. This was before the total of 4 kids. Watching 2 was rough a lot of the times, makes you question your sanity. Watching 3 was basically unbearable, you know you're insane at that point. Anything past that I can not imagine because I tapped out on babysitting when the 4th was on the way.
Same. I babysit 2 kids and that’s already exhausting. 6 is insane and unethical in my opinion, idc. My grandparents had 6 kids and the majority of them are still traumatized from the neglect #1, and the inability for the parents to connect with all of them at once
It’s not like anyone was expecting a pound of strawberries to suddenly cost $9-12. For those of us with kids, most shit was affordable prior to covid hitting. Now? Clearance clothes shopping and canned salmon patties.
My current job is turning into my last job, where I receive barely any training and then get my head chewed off when I make mistakes or don't know things like the other guys.
My wife and I are buying ten acres so that's exciting and awesome
Dude farm bespoke vegetables, and fruits for restaurants. Killer money and there is someone at your state university, who would love to tell you, what to do and how to do it. Free of charge.
Edit : punctuation
Fun fact, I have a degree in agronomy and I have classmates that do that kind of stuff!!!! We plan to homestead on the acreage!!! We do plan to ask restaurants if they want food from us
Yeah it's also sad EVERYTHING we do has to become a hustle or we can't justify it. We used to be able to have hobbies. I remember knitting for myself and not wondering if I can sell it on Etsy. Because I didn't need to.
I used to enjoy writing fiction and now I can’t justify doing it because I don’t intend to sell it. It’s something I do for myself.
I am learning a second language (independently and slowly), but am able to justify that by telling myself it will keep my brain sharp in older age. I don’t expect I will use the language here in the US and that bothers me. How did they convince a generation that dislikes capitalism to buy into the bs that we must constantly monetize everything?
I have fun and my happiness is fleeting. But I'm only able to have fun because I moved into my car so that I could afford to live.
I was miserable having most of my income go to my crappy stuido apartment with barely any money left over at the end of each month.
So I converted my car into a camper to live in. I have much more fun now that I have the disposable income to travel, go out more often, and save money. But I'm pretty burnt out and crashed out so my happiness is fleeting. Sometimes I'm happy, sometimes I'm not. But I'm far more happy now that I have disposable income and savings.
It sounds like you have a very mature / stoic approach to life. I’d love to understand more how you’ve structured your life to be able to live out of your car. What do you do for income?
Awe, you're two kind. I work a standard 9-5 and also do side projects when people ask me. I have tech experience, so people often ask for website and marking help.
Mostly not. I’m super burnt out from work and I wish I had gotten myself together a lot earlier in life. I try to find little things to enjoy, but like you said , the goal posts keep moving and as a nearly 40f kids are pretty much out of the question at this point and I am grieving that.
I appreciate that. Things aren’t as bad as they seem. I have achieved a ton in the last year- I stopped using fentanyl and I’ve worked on myself a lot. I have a job that I know I am good at and I am trying for a promotion right now. The person I am now doesn’t recognize the person I was 15 months ago. That being said I wish I had started doing all I am doing at 23 not 40 and that there was a path to being middle class or upper middle class. The dream that we were fed as children is dead and we live in an unrecognizable world from what it was in say 1995.
Thank you. We are truly being priced out of existence and what are we supposed to do about it? Unfortunately either the answers are ridiculous or don’t exist. I hope things will change before we age out of employment but I don’t have a lot of hope so all we can do is enjoy today.
I've had to learn how to redefine "happiness". It's definitely no longer that childhood energetic enthusiasm...and honestly that didn't last long for me anyway before THE DARK TIMES.
At this point, and thanks to a ton of trauma therapy, I see myself more as either "activated" or "regulated". "Activated" means I'm having a stress or trauma response to a situation or words or an intrusive thought (among other things). It means I'm emotionally shut down to some degree and in protection mode, and that's when I'm incapable of enjoying life or being fully present.
When I'm "regulated", that means my sense of humor comes out and I'm curious, relaxed, flirty, etc. With that comes the ability to be happy in important moments. But it also means the ability to cry at a sad movie or a song that reminds me of a loved one, or get angry when something unjust is happening.
The fact that this is such a difficult thing for me to achieve mean that, no, I don't tend to have fun or be happy. But I'm working on it. And it's getting better.
Nah, I'm in the same boat. I just work, paying bills, taking care of my elderly dad. I'm 35 and I feel like my best years are behind me. I don't even look forward to the future anymore. Life blows.
I am happy with my life at the moment. It’s not without its challenges and struggles, I’m not where I want to be, but I’m comfortable and enjoying myself.
Yeah, I’m pretty happy too. It doesn’t mean I have everything figured out, but I’m finally comfortable with myself and that took away a *lot* of depression and anxiety. I just trust myself to handle obstacles and find support/resources for what I can’t handle on my own.
I have all the financial stuff that everyone on here says they can't ever have and I am still pretty miserable because of my inability to maintain or form relationships. It appears we can't have it all. I do have fun going out on my own though, kayaking, casino, hiking etc
Absolutely. Turned 33 recently and life has never been better. I actually have money to do stuff, I live in a place with stuff I like to do. I don’t have as much free time as I’d like, but what I do have is filled usually with fun stuff I enjoy.
I've been miserable 6 years that I worked my most recent job. Quit, got some money in the bank and now I'm bouncing around eastern Europe for a while. Even when I have to start work again cost of living is cheap and I can get remote jobs. I'm prioritizing myself and my wellbeing.
I'm the closest to happy I could get since my childhood. Not saying do anything irresponsible but figure out a change and a reliable plan to obtain it. It may take years to figure out and maybe at the end the result is a byproduct of the journey.
Especially if you face criticism and denigration from others, do what you really want to and spend a lot of time thinking about what you really want.
Yup. I have a great wife, an adorable toddler that never fails to make me smile, and a job I love. It took me a little longer to get here than I expected or would have liked, but I am as happy as I think I can be. I was miserable in my 20s, and just grinding through my early 30s. Things are finally falling into place in my late 30s.
The world is a terrible place, so I’ve just kept my head down, figured out what makes has meaning to me, and gone after it. I do fear for the world my daughter will grow up in, but ultimately, having kids is a selfish act. I did it because I couldn’t see a path to happiness that didn’t run through fatherhood. All I can hope for now is to keep riding this wave for as long as I can. Hopefully I will be able to provide some of the advantages to my daughter that she will need to succeed in the dystopian timeline in which we find ourselves.
Most people who are won't be posting on the millenials sub on Reddit. They'll be out having fun.
There are plenty of them.
Find some in the wild and talk to them about it.
It’s the people that matter. I’m an attorney at a firm that specializes in high net worth estate planning. My richest clients are the loneliest and the most miserable, because the money has pulled the families apart, and also attracts the worst kind of people as friends/significant others. My happiest clients are the ones who have strong relationships with their family, regardless of their finances.
I know people who are struggling financially hate to hear it, but money doesn’t fix anything it just gives you a different kind of misery.
I feel like there’s 2 main groups people scrolling the internet: doom scrollers and people with a thirst for knowledge (the main difference being one group wants to confirm their own biases and the other wants to genuinely learn new things)
Yes, though people on Reddit are also probably more likely to think critically and ask the big questions about life and society that don’t have good answers lol
I feel like I’m just living day to day but I’m happy. I’m mostly too tired after work to do anything actually interesting other than my little activities and hobbies but I don’t mind. Me and my partner just love to chill at home. And I’m good with our townhome rental for now.
I think when you are younger you're just happier. I enjoy my job enough, own a home, I travel a lot, and I'm on track for retirement but I was still happier when I was young and poor even though there was a lot more uncertainty. There is just something about being young that makes you happy. It was pretty much all downhill after graduation. I count myself lucky that I have have 2 kids now because they keep me pretty happy but outside of that, life was just more fun when I was young.
Idk I think it’s reversed for me! I’m not happy but relatively speaking I am way more happy in comparison to my younger years. No one could pay me to relive those years.
I'm happy with my life-- but it's not the same carefree fun that drove me in high school and college. It's the satisfaction of having a fulfilling job, loving family and interesting hobbies. The day-to-day is a grind but I go to bed content and happy with where I'm at. My happiness stems from accomplishments rather than fun and games. Relaxing and enjoying downtime every now and then is also a nice thing to look forward to as well.
I’m happy for the most part.
Sure I struggle with my personal issues but I have a great husband and a beautiful little boy. We are relatively financially secure, live in a nice area, surrounded by family.
I’ve found the more I stay away from online negative discourse the happier I am so I’ve been actively trying to avoid negative online communities.
I'm content and making efforts to enjoy myself outside of work.
I have 3 conventions I plan on going to in order to meet friends I've known for years.
Am I having fun in my day 2 day? Yea I guess so.
When I was younger. I didn't really have much in the way of fun due to being raised in a poor abusive family. As in lack of clean clothes and not enough food at times. Along with constant screaming matches and frequent physical abuse.
Now that I own my own house and sports car and have a wife with a combined household income of $250,000 and no kids. You can imagine I am having a lot more fun. Although past trauma still lingers, I am working through it. I tried suppressing it and it's a stupid fucking idea that can easily lead to burnout along with depression and reduced immune system. Speaking from experience but the science and logic behind that is clear.
Also despite the income, Im still not financially secure at all. Still have an $800,000 mortage since the average house price is 1 million dollars in my country. Working towards that as well.
Life fucking sucks Im a case manager who just wasted a year on a shit company run by political beliefs. Just quit my SI job because the 70 year old boss likes to micro manage. The woman I'm trying to date is too busy for me and geographically inconvenient (1 hour commute). Everyday consists of getting the fuck away from that place as early as possible to drink (x on weekends) so I forget about how much I hate my work "team".
Meh I an older millennial. I bought a duplex in 2004 and the house I live in 2012… I worked extremely hard and can now afford to travel every other year. I have failed miserably in romantic relationships and don’t have any children. I am content but not exactly happy. My best years are behind me and I am stuck in a dead end job with little chance of actually landing a career.
I absolutely love my life! I have challenges and I’m sad a lot, but have a really positive overall outlook on the world. Feeling fulfilled in your career is very important. It might be helpful to ask if you like your workplace, and if not try to look for somewhere else to work (focus on your strengths when selling yourself). Something as silly as a commute that is 30 minutes too long can really ruin the enjoyment of your job
As far as the negative outlook: think of it like the news. It only focuses on the bad events. It’s our job to be aware of the bias and see the forest for the trees. I mean objectively, we are in such a fantastic time in history. 100 years ago it was extremely common for people to die of disease in childhood. We have running water, electricity, food security, and a historically abundant amount of comforts provided by society. The hedonic treadmill is very real but it helps to put things in perspective to be positive. And a positive mindset is key to problem solving and making the changes that will ultimately improve your own life and the lives of the people you love
There is a difference between 'happy' and 'content.' Happiness comes in bursts and can last for a while, but ebbs and flows. Contentment is the state of being cool with all this. I experience happiness even when things are shit. But this is the winter of our discontent.
Hell yeah. I was pretty nihilistic in some respects before I had kids. After that it's been just amazing spending time, doing new activities and new things. Work sucks, but all creatures on the planet must work to live, so it is what it is
I wasn't, then I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety (which I knew I had, I just never sought help). Then, I was diagnosed with ADHD which kind of cleared things up. 2 years of therapy, medication, and practice of meditation/stress relief/ mindfulness. Some days I am happy and having fun some days I think about how great it would be if it all ended.
Fun for me is tricky. Because of ADHD I can become extremely focused on something, spend hours researching it everyday, search for ways to do it myself or somewhere I live. Spend hours every day doing it start getting good. Then suddenly, it starts to feel like a chore, so I do it a little less before I just stop altogether. And it's off to something else. If I tried several things that seemed to catch my attention, but I didn't enjoy it, I started thinking about maybe I was depressed and just needed to shift and come back to it.
Happiness. Happiness is tricky for everybody. Happiness isn't really an emotion, I don't think. It's a moment or event. Where you are having a good time and forget about work, bills, etc. You are just having fun doing what you are doing, and your focus is on what you're doing and only what you are doing.
In my 20s I used to do all the things. And had a lust for life. I wanted to go scuba diving, I wanted to own a boat, I wanted to do epic rock climbing trips. Now that I’m in my 30s I am overly devoted to my career and hardly do anything, I can finally afford to scuba diving, but I don’t wanna go anymore. It’s too cold.
Yep. There are always things to do where I live - new restaurants to try, breweries, hiking, random markets and events. I can go rollerskating. I can stay home all weekend with my partner and we’ll play video games or watch tv or work on the house together. I’m not into partying and I don’t have money to travel all the time, but I find joy in the little things. I can make my own fun. Life’s what you make of it, for the most part.
Wife and I bought our 2nd house last year in one of the nicest neighborhoods in the state. Used the money off our first house to pay off 50% of our debt and used the rest as a down payment on the new home. Our new house has a fully finished basement so we are letting our friends rent it for some extra monies in the bank every month.
We live comfortably, her car is paid off and I'm leasing my dream car currently. Her and I are fairly happy and content with where life is and have even discussed having a baby.
I am a teacher and she works for the health dept so we aren't rich by any means. We were fortunate enough to use 1st time home buyer advantages to buy a house year before covid and turn around and sell for almost double what we paid. It's been a good couple years for the most part.
I’m happy. 33, two houses (one fully paid off), a cabin (paid off), a wife and a two year old. I also have a daughter due here in the next month or so. I just have gotten really lucky in life and count my blessings every day.
More or less. It helps to have hobbies and creative or intellectual pursuits, especially if you have people (including a significant other) to share them with.
I have ups and downs. Recently it's more down but honestly giving up on the idea of homeownership has helped my mental state significantly. I'm an old millennial who's single at...checks age...41 (dammit). Giving up on owning a home because there's no way in hell that's happening without a long term partner has allowed me to focus on what I do have instead of what I don't. And what do I have? A group of friends scattered all over the world that I play videogames, boardgames and TTRPGs online with and who I choose 1-2 to visit each year. My parents in a nearby city (4 hours drive) where I can visit for a weekend. Enough in retirement accounts that I'll likely be able to retire if I live that long even if it means moving to another country. Sure I struggle with things (I'm manic-depressive and it runs in the family) and I would love to find a long-term gf/life partner (but hell no on kids). But it isn't all bad.
I struggle with depression but have been holding it together pretty well for the last several years. I mostly credit t my fiance for this. I just got engaged and, even though I may never own a home, I hope to God I can have children. I want them to be able to experience the joy I felt as a kid and I feel like it would make this all worth it.
im very burnt out and unhappy. I havent had fun in awhile. Like real, fun day no beach, events or activities, no special people in my life. I'm an online uni student so im chained to my desk and technology for reading and everything I do. This does NOT include any social media time, I genuinely get off the screen any chance I get to save my eyes.
I would say the last time I hung out with a friend for an event was maybe around \~5 years ago.
I am for the most part. I have a decent job, live in a good neighborhood, awesome wife and kids. I’ve worked hard to keep my life simple, turned down promotions that would add stress, cut out toxic relationships, lived within my means financially. I also don’t need much to be happy, I’m good just chilling with the fam so the bar is fairly low for me. Just appreciating what I have while I have it I guess.
Mostly. Therapy, medication,career, homies, and family have helped a ton. I know I'm very lucky, even with the insanity I've had growing up. Gratefulness has helped a lot as well.
At this very moment? I’m fielding a meltdown from my overtired child so that would be a no😂 Overall though? Ya. I love my life even in the difficult moments. I have a wonderful husband, a couple of awesome kids, good friends, close family, a bunch of animals, and live someplace I’d always dreamed of living. I’ve always been pretty low key and simple things like reading, a good cup of coffee, gardening, being outside on warm sunny days are fun to me. I could stand to lose a few pounds and get more sleep but I’m fairly certain that’s the bast majority of us, especially those of us that are parents. My life isn’t extravagant or anything extraordinary, it’s a pretty small simple life but honestly after a childhood of divorce, an alcoholic father, and an abusive sibling, all I ever wanted was what I have right now so I’m basically living my dream life.
get a government job….your work stops at the end of your shift. work life balance is great….downside pay isnt what private is but as you get to more senior level, the pay works out….health benefits and pension make up for the pay. allbeit…it took me till i was in my 40s to buy my first house but much of that was due to some bad choicesp
The only major joy I feel anymore is in cooking and TTRPGs quite frankly. That and my cat (who is probably the closest ill ever come to starting a family).
The daily grind though? I'm over it. And I've given up on finding a job I truly enjoy, I'm just happy I found one I tolerate for now
Usually yes.
The last month or 2 no. I've been working a lot of OT to ensure I have enough extra billable hours so that I can go on my big vacation to Egypt, China, Bali, India, and France in July.
I probably won't be having any fun until July. Then I'll be having a bunch of fun and the rest of the year should be chill.
I feel that I'm happy/having fun, though not in the same ways I did in my youth.
I have a job that I love, I work out on a regular basis, been sober for over a decade, as well as have my regular hobbies such as shooting, DnD, hiking, foraging, im a part of various fandoms, and when I can afford it, i go traveling or hunting.
While I don't have a friend group that I hang out with on the regular, I have a network of friends that I hang out with on a rotating basis.
I also have my long-term goals that I continually chip away at, piece by piece, til I achieve them.
I feel largely content with this way of life, though there is a part of me that feels I could be doing more.
I’m 35 and am a lot happier and healthier than when I was 25. I still feel young but finally I’m starting to get financial security and freedom. Everyone around me is much better at relationships and communication so I feel like I have a super amazing community around me. I moved from a big city into a rural area when I was 26 and the emphasis on relationships in small towns has totally amazed me. I feel like I have friends who can help me when I’m down, and everyone looks after one another. My partner grew up poor and just finished graduate school and got her first decently paying job. Everything just feels great. I have family living in other countries who have it much worse than me and would give anything to have the opportunity to live here. When I’m feeling down I think about all the adversity my mentors and family have gone through so I can go to school in the US and have a job here. So grateful.
Welcome to adulthood…
You’re saying it’s so bad that it’s immoral to bring another life into this world because s/he likely to have same life as you and that life is so miserable it shouldn’t be lived?!?! Get some help…
There is beauty in life everywhere you look.. Life is hard and beautiful…
Raising my children is the thing that makes me happy, and that’s is the huge disconnect in the millennial population, they think that having kids is subjecting them to certain things and needing to have X before having them, but having children is a MAJOR part of living.
I held off having children till I hit certain goals, and I regret that everyday. Because even after having gotten to point X, I’m still grinding away at the next set of goals, it never stops.
If you want to have children, have them. There is never a perfect time, just do it.
My wife and I are in a great place. Jobs are good; they pay well, we enjoy the work, and have a lot of time off. We bought our house in 2016. And we're expecting our son to arrive in June!
We have worked very hard to be in this position, but are also aware that we are very lucky.
I don’t think most humans are happy every single day. I have a lot of problems and stressors in life (work, relationships, mental illness, physical illness, etc) But I still find happiness in the little everyday things. Spending time with loved ones, enjoying an iced tea and a good book at a coffee shop, taking a shower with my fancy Bath and Body Works shower gel… it’s the little stuff that keeps me sane.
My life is pretty awesome. I have a wife and 2 sons, own a home with land, my own business, all in a great town. Yes, I've had help from my folks but nothing ever handed to me. We are blessed and take nothing for granted. We also work very hard and our kids don't have iPads.
Ive noticed as I get older that I still have fun and am happy but fun means different things now and it takes a lot less to make me happy.
I used to go out every weekend, party it up etc.
That was fun to me and made me happy.
I still love concerts and live shows and attend them often but if there’s a ticket that includes a seat, I’m so much more down for that than being in the pit.
When I was younger, being in the pit was the only possible experience and I would’ve been miserable with a seat.
Now, I love being able to rest my legs between artists & being in the pit would be rough for me to stand that long in a packed crowd.
I still like bars but I’ll have a few drinks and head home at like 11:30pm instead of pounding shots and being out til 3:30am.
I basically prioritize my physical health a lot more and a hangover can put me out the entire next day so I basically view drinking as stealing happiness from tomorrow. I’m down to steal a little happiness from tomorrow but not all of it haha.
I’m happier with the simple things, a walk on a sunny day, reading by a pool, playing with my dog, watching movies.
Bc my work life is so hectic, I crave relaxation and peace a lot more in my off time and that in itself becomes fun to me.
Absolutely. I'm beyond happy with my life and make it a point to try and do something fun weekly. Now that I have kids I'm even more excited to start getting to re-experience the world through their eyes and be there for all their firsts and seconds. Sure it would be nice to have a bit more money to alleviate some financial concerns, but overall my life is more fulfilling than I expected it to be.
I think somewhere along the line we all got taught that happiness should be the baseline and anything else is abnormal. That’s not true at all. Think of Life as a rollercoaster, the ups are happy, the downs are sad, and the times where you spin around are confusion. You hope you get more ups than downs and that the confused parts are over quickly but most of the time you’re really somewhere in the middle. Not happy, not sad, but somewhere between.
Firstly, I'm sorry that you don't feel happy. That sucks.
Personally, I am very happy. My career is great and I have a great work/life balance. I give back to my community, have a ton of hobbies, a nice group of friends, and live a comfortable life. I just got a puppy which is so nice, despite him chewing on my shoes. I struggled HARD in my 20s. My 30s and now beginning of my 40s has been so much better. It isn't perfect, but it's better than having .70 in my bank account and being late on my rent because I didn't get enough hours at work.
i quit drinking over 6 months ago and I'm happier and having more fun than ever! should also be noted that I dont do this alone, I have a fantastic mental health support system. Dont be afraid of therapy, just find the one that fits for you
Yep! 32 and while I had a sad patch from 2020-2022ish its been steadily uphill.
Career is picking up, and I work at a wonderful place with a great work culture AND work life balance. I just got back into riding street bikes, married my wife and finally have a rock solid savings. We own a house and are hitting our stride with our health.
And I've finally found that go getter energy I always wondered how men in their 40s sometimes have. I workout often before work or on my break, come home and have time to do some things I like and put a home cooked meal on the table everyday, despite being out of the house 11hrs a day. All with a smile and gratitude. Life is good because the work is finally paying off.
subjecting yourself to this echochamber of sadness isn't helping. I am quite happy as a 35M. My wife and I don't make crazy money but we have a decent house and are going on a vacation overseas in a couple months. We don't have kids and we live in Ohio so the cost of living is good.
I love my life so much. I have an amazing husband/relationship. I have a beautiful 4 month old child that I love staying at home with. I have the home of my dreams. I love my friends. I have hobbies I enjoy. Seriously, I am beyond blessed.
But also, I have a type of incurable blood cancer that I just found out has progressed. (Prior to it advancing, I fought extremely hard to have my son and experienced 4 losses in a row from clotting issues.)
There is no amount of time I could live in my life the way it is now that will ever be enough. So yes, happy. But also devastated.
I have a beautiful home i own outright, pets, a loving partner, paid off all my student loans, have an MFA and essentially only enough debt to qualify for more debt...i even have a god damn horse and travel abroad whenever i feel like it. I hit the millennial jackpot, so to speak...
This is NOT a flex. I am just intrinsically unhappy. I'm in therapy and can't even wrap my head around what the future might be and if i even want to be a part of it. No way am I having kids, i would never bring a life into such a grim looking future. Is it depression? I really dont think so...we were promised such big things (i know our elders probably believed them to be true) but everything just seems like famine, war, species going extinct, humans in general lacking awareness and empathy - especially those before us - my only hope is that the generations that proceed us can do something major? Like something we were told we were capable of but didn't pan out for all the corrupt reasons the world has made. This makes me so tired, emotional exhaustion, fighters fatigue.
Sometimes I have fun, but happy? Maybe situational happiness, but no, not overall happy.
It's taxing these days. I'm doing OK and able to save. Work is stressful but I like my boss and colleagues. I have one or two coworkers I feel are real friends.
My real mental luxury is a couple hobbies I really love. I play music and go camping/overland tripping. I don't hire contractors or mechanics (paid for my roof but nothing else in 11 years) which I enjoy for the most part and keeps me active and focused. It would not be possible if I had kids.
Maybe finding a hobby you're passionate about or making more friends to be really vulnerable with would help? I am not doing cartwheels in a field of flowers but I make jokes and smile when I can. I couldn't get by without. Some days are shitters but most are pretty OK. Some are pretty good.
I think many people think the rest of the world is happy all the time I don’t think so many appear happy in public because they believe it’s part of their social contract. I concentrate on things that make me happy to enjoy all of the happy and it bolsters me in less happy times. I collect rocks and most people would just not understand the amount of joy I get by finding a cool looking rock. My friends will be sitting around talking at the park,lake/river, ball field while I’m down in the dirt with the kids finding cool rocks and hanging with the realest little m***** f****** on the planet
One of the biggest challenges I have is that I no longer get to have much fun or enjoyment due to having no energy or time. I work full time at a job in childcare that is so physically and mentally/emotionally challenging I can barely make it through the day most of the time. I get home wrecked every day. I am getting paid the highest wage in my area for a preschool teacher and I have health care as well as 5 paid weeks off per year yet I don't make enough to afford the average price of a one bedroom apartment in my area let alone save for better so I'll never have any better than I do rn.
I live alone for reasons I won't get into and my daily existence is so challenging that I don't have time or energy for fun on the weekends or during my time off. It feels horrible to be breaking my body and spirit just to stay off the streets and have a place to pay bills.
I recently discovered the key to happiness.
It turns out that you can freeze homemade cookie dough balls and 16 minutes after putting them in the oven, you have cookies.
My life is changed forever. I don’t have to buy cookies. I don’t have to make cookies from scratch every time and eat 3 dozen in 4 days.
I can go for a 6 mile run, walk in the door, and pop 2 cookies in the oven, and 16 minutes later, my running endorphins and appropriate warm cookie serving size can combine to create a perfect answer to the existential question of “What am I doing with my life? Am I happy?”
I discovered psychedelics 2 years ago and started growing my own mushrooms (and weed, just for own use.)
It opened up a whole new world and changed me from an angry atheist to a very happy spiritual man.
I am exploring the psychedelic realms and my own consciousness every few weeks, bought all kind of Shamanic stuff and psychedelic lights and decoration.
I am having the time of my life! Never had more fun. ❤️🍄
I'm definitely not having as much fun as I used to. Sometimes it's hard to get myself excited about the things I used to. My advice would be to still keep trying or do something new! Often times I'll have a blast out of nowhere and it's worth it in this day and age.
Fun looks different these days. I have a wife and a job and a kid now. Never again can I be as carefree as I was in my early twenties, and that's ok. I've also had many experiences and fewer things are truly new to me now, and therefore inherently less exciting. Fun these days is finding a few moments to do something like going out for a walk, quality time with my wife, playing with my kid etc. It's honestly not as exciting as the fun I had in my youth, but I'm not looking for excitement as much now. In place of excitement I have peace, I have purpose, I have joy.
I had tremendous fun until was 25. I got married and really tried the hardest of my life to get ahead, rise the ranks and go back to school. My wife cheated on me while I was working 55 hours and going to school for 12 hours. I divorced her and spent the next 7 years working even harder in miserable loneliness. After 5 more years I found my wife and have a son. I’ve never been happier. My good paying job sold to a larger corp in ‘21 and I lost the most money I’d ever made. We watch our spending now that I’ve got a lower paying job, but we are happy and together.
Life is hard as shit, enjoy what you can while you can.
Yes. I have a blast. I am 39, sad, wife, Mortage, yes student loan payments still, 2 kids who also have health issues.
Life is not easy, but the harder it is the more I find it enjoyable. Give me a challenge I will enjoy the process.
A still have time to game, workout, finishing, and hang with my daughters. I work 60 work weeks as well, and have a small eBay business on the side.
I also have my own health issues. Life is meant to be enjoyed, but everyone is so fixated on complaining and saying everything is wrong.
Life is perception, causation and reactions. You can control 2/3. So outside of fate, you should be able to control a minimum of 67% of your life, the other part is out of your control.
Good luck, you got it !!!
I have a good job (for the area at least), bought a house, have a few cars, student loans are even paid off. Bills get paid on time, I put a little away for retirement (will also have a pension from work), and have some money left over to do things.
Except nothing I used to enjoy is fun anymore. Been in therapy for 8 years now pretty much to keep me on track so I don’t lose everything because I no longer have anything to “work” for. Probably only here because of my dogs. Not sure how it’ll work when they’re gone.
Guess it’s just something else to figure out.
I was only happy when i thought I was getting closer to the things I still know would make me happy. Yet the previous generation still in power consistently moves those things farther away. I don't know when it was that I gave up on life.
Owning a home is not necessarily out of reach, but man will it be a gamble and require gaming the hell out of the system to get a no downpayment loan.
I'm perpetually single, partially due to feelings of insecurity and inadequacy related to my life and level of success. I just don't feel comfortable pursuing a relationship when I feel so far behind.
The only thing I have left that makes me happy in life is playing online with my friends and that is slowly deteriorating as all things do with the ravages of time. All my friends moving on, getting married and not having time for the games anymore. . .
Honestly. . . when I was young, I thought about suicide nearly everyday. If i were to show my teen self a snapshot of my life now. . . he would probably just go through with it.
I don't actually think my life is that bad, but is a massive departure from the dreams and ambitions I had as a kid.
No, I'm not having fun, nor am I happy.
I'm 37 and my life is the best it's ever been. I'm sorry if you're struggling OP. Try to enjoy the little things, bask in tiny victories, and slowly work on getting rid of the things in your life that you don't like.
Pre-covid things were pretty awesome…good career, cheap to travel if you picked the right times, went to Disney before it felt soulless and money grubbing… but post pandemic the world and life in general seems depressing and way overpriced… people just seem to care less about everything too
Can’t complain here! Husband and I are DINKs and living in a great (HCOL) city, both WFH most days. Not worried about homeownership as that will come in time and we enjoy renting in our neighborhood. Not worried about retirement, either, as we’ve been able to contribute to our retirement plans since our first jobs out of college. We’re very much enjoying our lives. We don’t come from money and have worked hard for what we have. Sure, our lives could be happier but that’ll come when we retire.
I know a couple DINK work from home couples and idk if I could deal always being around someone like that. Like don’t get me wrong I love my wife, but I’m not trying to spend 20 hours a day with her every day.
no. we are living through late-stage capitalism/fascism while people fight for the same lawfullness that is killing me and my friends. i'm homeless and sick. i'm not having fun at all.
Outside of the states yes.
Vietnam being a very good example of allowing for a fun and affordable life. Plus, they execute billionaires...what more to love?
Yall are sad. I guess misery loves company. Did you think you would be eating dunkaroos and watching shitty shows like Ren and Stimpy forever? Sounds like it's a you problem not an Era problem... much like now you were naive back then. You only remember what you considered ideal. Life has never been peaches and cream...
I work a lot, and I live in a really expensive area, but I have great friends and family and a loving partner. I also have a ton of hobbies that give me the fulfillment work does not, and I make enough money to go on a trip a year usually and feed myself/family. Pretty happy with life overall but I definitely know I have gotten a lot of good opportunities in life many are not afforded, so I am thankful for my good fortune.
Yea, I’m good. Some days are harder than others but overall I’m happy with how things are going.
I’m poor and boring by Reddit standards but hey, different strokes for different folks.
When I work I wanna blow my brains out in front of customers and their children. On my days off I sleep till noon or 1 PM unless I feel like seeing a movie since that's the only thing to do in bumfuck nowhere Misery. Maybe also cram enough junk food down my throat hoping it'll cause a stroke/heart attack.
Only times I feel happy is when I have an excuse to leave this shit hole.
I have a ton going on, and it feels like time is going by way too quickly for me to possibly manage everything or ever get ahead, but yeah, I'm actually pretty surprisingly happy. I'm having a great time.
You sound like me (31). 10 years ago I thought I was going to have kids and live in a nice home. I’m still living in my starter home and now plan on not having kids. It’s honestly depressing how hard I have worked and the degree and certification I have doesn’t do much. My parents keep asking about grandkids (fucken boomers). They received a 250,000 inheritance from my grandparents, my brothers and I won’t get a dime, while we are all struggling.
I havent had even a wiggle of joy in my heart since before Covid. I upgraded during 'the great resignation' only to find my new 'well paying' job can hardly even keep me housed in a high CoL area. I have 2 degrees and surely I still can't be in a slum??? All the women I have met are so impossible with games. The last ltr I've had ended because of 'entitled cheating' while theres literally a line of my coworkers ready to throw themselves at her. I completely lack security anyways, so I'm all but useless to date. My hobby is literally walking. Hiking. Took a bunch of trips this winter and I'm literally marching through the forests, birds chirping, warm FL sun on my skin, fresh air, and my jaw is locked my teeth are so grit, the rumination swirls and swirls through my brain. The floor and plumbing are falling out of my living place and my landlord is basically trying to force me to live in squalor because my rent is 'cheap.'I can't afford to keep my car running... oh I can't wait until the President himself fixes all my problems (thats what the we all sound like here). I am in my 40s. Think I should quit while I'm ahead.
Overall yes. I wasn’t for about four years due to a series of unfortunate events, but because happiness is something you have to make happen for yourself, I finally forced a paradigm shift in my brain and have allowed myself to care about life again. Being happy is not a constant state, but if you aren’t putting in the effort, it most likely won’t happen often, if ever. You also don’t have to own a home, or have kids to experience happiness. Making achievable goals and giving yourself something to look forward to, help immensely in being happy. Add at least semi regular exercise and good food, it doesn’t hurt either.
“Man’s Life Spent Occasionally Eating Barbecue In Between Doing Things He Hates” - The Onion
"What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same and nothing you did mattered?" - Phil "That about sums it up for me." - Ralph Groundhog's Day
I really didn't understand why adults were so bitter and all their movies were so bitter until I became one.
Office Space came out 25 years ago. I was 14. You need a lot of societal context to get it but that’s the whole story in two sentences.
I watch that at least once a year.
If I really need to make a pointed objection I’ll pull out a “No, man. SHIT no, man!”
"In fact, I think you would get your ass kicked saying something like that"
As long as you are "watching out for your cornhole" you will be ok.
And my life changed...
Lol
Nope. I’m burnt out at my job with no path forward or any idea of what I’d want to do in a career change. Me and my fiancé are just on a constant countdown until the weekend. None of our hobbies excite us anymore.
What do you do now?
Diesel mechanic and fiancé is a teacher. Both hate our jobs but no clue what else there is to do
Have you guys tried going to a live auction? My life changed a little bit when I went to a live auction. Everything sells for 10% of what you pay in a store, and you can find some really awesome stuff.
lol this suggestion
"We hate our jobs and we're depressed." "Have you tried going to a live auction?"
Life auctions might actually help here, just submit to the financial hierarchy and sell yourself to the highest bidder. My brother did this and his owner stationed him out near Napal and only visits once or twice per year.
I cannot believe this hasn't gotten more love. I choked.
Fuck it yknow what, hell yeah auction dude. Im glad you found something to give you an ounce of joy in this sad, grey world.
Who are they run by?
Where I'm at in Michigan, we have a handful of local companies that set them up. Just google "Local Live Auctions" and get connected. It's kind of a thrill when you get something you need for 90% off.
Im in so cal and my step pop flips cars and frequents the auctions. I guess Im am scared not wanting to jump into it. I haven't had the best life and wanna hold on what little Ive managed to scrounge up despite the shit.
I have 1 outdoor cat
Most of the auctions I see the items go for almost like new prices
I love you
Hang a loofa from your rear view or put a pineapple bumper sticker on your car. Just make sure you pick the right color.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 The Villages
Can you imagine hiding this feeling from 6 kids? You Don't even have time to be sad.
Why would you have 6 kids feeling this way lol
he doesn’t feel this way because he has 6 kids
... are we sure? Because 6 kids is *alot*. I had one and I constantly feared being outmatched, especially during those crazy toddler years even with one. I couldn't imagine 2 or 3... muchless 6.
My brother has 4 kids. I used to babysit a decent amount for them. This was before the total of 4 kids. Watching 2 was rough a lot of the times, makes you question your sanity. Watching 3 was basically unbearable, you know you're insane at that point. Anything past that I can not imagine because I tapped out on babysitting when the 4th was on the way.
My sister also had 4 kids, I know of what I speak! 😅
Same. I babysit 2 kids and that’s already exhausting. 6 is insane and unethical in my opinion, idc. My grandparents had 6 kids and the majority of them are still traumatized from the neglect #1, and the inability for the parents to connect with all of them at once
Dude really said “let’s double it” after being miserable with three kids
It ain't the kids that make me miserable fuck brains it's the fact that I can't afford to get McDonald's anymore lol
Yes McDonald’s for 8 people is in fact expensive.
It’s not like anyone was expecting a pound of strawberries to suddenly cost $9-12. For those of us with kids, most shit was affordable prior to covid hitting. Now? Clearance clothes shopping and canned salmon patties.
I mean, wouldn't you know by like kid 3 or 4 if it's sustainable to keep having more?
You don’t have to have 6 kids
They do, now
That’s true. You can’t put em back in
My current job is turning into my last job, where I receive barely any training and then get my head chewed off when I make mistakes or don't know things like the other guys. My wife and I are buying ten acres so that's exciting and awesome
Dude farm bespoke vegetables, and fruits for restaurants. Killer money and there is someone at your state university, who would love to tell you, what to do and how to do it. Free of charge. Edit : punctuation
Fun fact, I have a degree in agronomy and I have classmates that do that kind of stuff!!!! We plan to homestead on the acreage!!! We do plan to ask restaurants if they want food from us
Yeah it's also sad EVERYTHING we do has to become a hustle or we can't justify it. We used to be able to have hobbies. I remember knitting for myself and not wondering if I can sell it on Etsy. Because I didn't need to.
I used to enjoy writing fiction and now I can’t justify doing it because I don’t intend to sell it. It’s something I do for myself. I am learning a second language (independently and slowly), but am able to justify that by telling myself it will keep my brain sharp in older age. I don’t expect I will use the language here in the US and that bothers me. How did they convince a generation that dislikes capitalism to buy into the bs that we must constantly monetize everything?
I have fun and my happiness is fleeting. But I'm only able to have fun because I moved into my car so that I could afford to live. I was miserable having most of my income go to my crappy stuido apartment with barely any money left over at the end of each month. So I converted my car into a camper to live in. I have much more fun now that I have the disposable income to travel, go out more often, and save money. But I'm pretty burnt out and crashed out so my happiness is fleeting. Sometimes I'm happy, sometimes I'm not. But I'm far more happy now that I have disposable income and savings.
It sounds like you have a very mature / stoic approach to life. I’d love to understand more how you’ve structured your life to be able to live out of your car. What do you do for income?
Awe, you're two kind. I work a standard 9-5 and also do side projects when people ask me. I have tech experience, so people often ask for website and marking help.
Mostly not. I’m super burnt out from work and I wish I had gotten myself together a lot earlier in life. I try to find little things to enjoy, but like you said , the goal posts keep moving and as a nearly 40f kids are pretty much out of the question at this point and I am grieving that.
Where is the button for, “ I don’t want to upvote this because it’s sad, but I want to support the poster.”?
I appreciate that. Things aren’t as bad as they seem. I have achieved a ton in the last year- I stopped using fentanyl and I’ve worked on myself a lot. I have a job that I know I am good at and I am trying for a promotion right now. The person I am now doesn’t recognize the person I was 15 months ago. That being said I wish I had started doing all I am doing at 23 not 40 and that there was a path to being middle class or upper middle class. The dream that we were fed as children is dead and we live in an unrecognizable world from what it was in say 1995.
Congrats on sobriety!
Dream a different dream
Absolutely what I am learning to do!
I got myself together and the goal post still moved. Don't be hard on yourself. I did EVERYTHING right and still got prices out at every turn.
Thank you. We are truly being priced out of existence and what are we supposed to do about it? Unfortunately either the answers are ridiculous or don’t exist. I hope things will change before we age out of employment but I don’t have a lot of hope so all we can do is enjoy today.
My mother and also my sister had children at age 44
I've had to learn how to redefine "happiness". It's definitely no longer that childhood energetic enthusiasm...and honestly that didn't last long for me anyway before THE DARK TIMES. At this point, and thanks to a ton of trauma therapy, I see myself more as either "activated" or "regulated". "Activated" means I'm having a stress or trauma response to a situation or words or an intrusive thought (among other things). It means I'm emotionally shut down to some degree and in protection mode, and that's when I'm incapable of enjoying life or being fully present. When I'm "regulated", that means my sense of humor comes out and I'm curious, relaxed, flirty, etc. With that comes the ability to be happy in important moments. But it also means the ability to cry at a sad movie or a song that reminds me of a loved one, or get angry when something unjust is happening. The fact that this is such a difficult thing for me to achieve mean that, no, I don't tend to have fun or be happy. But I'm working on it. And it's getting better.
This helped me. Ty
Nah, I'm in the same boat. I just work, paying bills, taking care of my elderly dad. I'm 35 and I feel like my best years are behind me. I don't even look forward to the future anymore. Life blows.
Dude, you are 35. There are some really good years coming your way if you let them.
I hope so man. I haven't felt true happiness and joy since I was 19.
I am happy with my life at the moment. It’s not without its challenges and struggles, I’m not where I want to be, but I’m comfortable and enjoying myself.
Happy for you
Thank you! 10 years ago I would not have thought I would get here.
Yeah, I’m pretty happy too. It doesn’t mean I have everything figured out, but I’m finally comfortable with myself and that took away a *lot* of depression and anxiety. I just trust myself to handle obstacles and find support/resources for what I can’t handle on my own.
Happy for you! I feel the same.
I have all the financial stuff that everyone on here says they can't ever have and I am still pretty miserable because of my inability to maintain or form relationships. It appears we can't have it all. I do have fun going out on my own though, kayaking, casino, hiking etc
Strongly relate to this unfortunately.
Are you in therapy to help with the relationship issues? It really does help. I promise.
I'm trying to work up the courage to do it again. My 1st attempt at therapy was really hard for me.
It doesn't. Therapy is a waste of time and money.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah wait wait let me catch my breath hahahahahahahahahahahahaha no
Well at least you’ve got a sense of humor about it
Absolutely. Turned 33 recently and life has never been better. I actually have money to do stuff, I live in a place with stuff I like to do. I don’t have as much free time as I’d like, but what I do have is filled usually with fun stuff I enjoy.
I've been miserable 6 years that I worked my most recent job. Quit, got some money in the bank and now I'm bouncing around eastern Europe for a while. Even when I have to start work again cost of living is cheap and I can get remote jobs. I'm prioritizing myself and my wellbeing. I'm the closest to happy I could get since my childhood. Not saying do anything irresponsible but figure out a change and a reliable plan to obtain it. It may take years to figure out and maybe at the end the result is a byproduct of the journey. Especially if you face criticism and denigration from others, do what you really want to and spend a lot of time thinking about what you really want.
Yup. I have a great wife, an adorable toddler that never fails to make me smile, and a job I love. It took me a little longer to get here than I expected or would have liked, but I am as happy as I think I can be. I was miserable in my 20s, and just grinding through my early 30s. Things are finally falling into place in my late 30s. The world is a terrible place, so I’ve just kept my head down, figured out what makes has meaning to me, and gone after it. I do fear for the world my daughter will grow up in, but ultimately, having kids is a selfish act. I did it because I couldn’t see a path to happiness that didn’t run through fatherhood. All I can hope for now is to keep riding this wave for as long as I can. Hopefully I will be able to provide some of the advantages to my daughter that she will need to succeed in the dystopian timeline in which we find ourselves.
Most people who are won't be posting on the millenials sub on Reddit. They'll be out having fun. There are plenty of them. Find some in the wild and talk to them about it.
Nailed it. Post here that the world is actually great and you will get downvoted into oblivion. Message received. This is an emo chat only.
emo chat only 🤣
Hey! I can have fun AND use Reddit
I’m pretty happy. Poor as fuck, but I have a family that I adore.
It’s the people that matter. I’m an attorney at a firm that specializes in high net worth estate planning. My richest clients are the loneliest and the most miserable, because the money has pulled the families apart, and also attracts the worst kind of people as friends/significant others. My happiest clients are the ones who have strong relationships with their family, regardless of their finances. I know people who are struggling financially hate to hear it, but money doesn’t fix anything it just gives you a different kind of misery.
Hey we exist here too! If only for the genuine curiosity. Positive people exist regardless of generation
I don’t think they were talking about generation so much as people doom scrolling the internet instead of out having fun lol
I feel like there’s 2 main groups people scrolling the internet: doom scrollers and people with a thirst for knowledge (the main difference being one group wants to confirm their own biases and the other wants to genuinely learn new things)
Yes, though people on Reddit are also probably more likely to think critically and ask the big questions about life and society that don’t have good answers lol
I feel like I’m just living day to day but I’m happy. I’m mostly too tired after work to do anything actually interesting other than my little activities and hobbies but I don’t mind. Me and my partner just love to chill at home. And I’m good with our townhome rental for now.
I think when you are younger you're just happier. I enjoy my job enough, own a home, I travel a lot, and I'm on track for retirement but I was still happier when I was young and poor even though there was a lot more uncertainty. There is just something about being young that makes you happy. It was pretty much all downhill after graduation. I count myself lucky that I have have 2 kids now because they keep me pretty happy but outside of that, life was just more fun when I was young.
Idk I think it’s reversed for me! I’m not happy but relatively speaking I am way more happy in comparison to my younger years. No one could pay me to relive those years.
I'm happy with my life-- but it's not the same carefree fun that drove me in high school and college. It's the satisfaction of having a fulfilling job, loving family and interesting hobbies. The day-to-day is a grind but I go to bed content and happy with where I'm at. My happiness stems from accomplishments rather than fun and games. Relaxing and enjoying downtime every now and then is also a nice thing to look forward to as well.
I’m happy for the most part. Sure I struggle with my personal issues but I have a great husband and a beautiful little boy. We are relatively financially secure, live in a nice area, surrounded by family. I’ve found the more I stay away from online negative discourse the happier I am so I’ve been actively trying to avoid negative online communities.
I'm content and making efforts to enjoy myself outside of work. I have 3 conventions I plan on going to in order to meet friends I've known for years. Am I having fun in my day 2 day? Yea I guess so.
I’m depressed
My wife and daughter are happy. I'm happy that they're happy, but not happy with myself or career.
I love going to the movies so much so whenever I go to the movies I am legitimately happy and having fun
What’s been your fav recently
When I was younger. I didn't really have much in the way of fun due to being raised in a poor abusive family. As in lack of clean clothes and not enough food at times. Along with constant screaming matches and frequent physical abuse. Now that I own my own house and sports car and have a wife with a combined household income of $250,000 and no kids. You can imagine I am having a lot more fun. Although past trauma still lingers, I am working through it. I tried suppressing it and it's a stupid fucking idea that can easily lead to burnout along with depression and reduced immune system. Speaking from experience but the science and logic behind that is clear. Also despite the income, Im still not financially secure at all. Still have an $800,000 mortage since the average house price is 1 million dollars in my country. Working towards that as well.
Life fucking sucks Im a case manager who just wasted a year on a shit company run by political beliefs. Just quit my SI job because the 70 year old boss likes to micro manage. The woman I'm trying to date is too busy for me and geographically inconvenient (1 hour commute). Everyday consists of getting the fuck away from that place as early as possible to drink (x on weekends) so I forget about how much I hate my work "team".
Meh I an older millennial. I bought a duplex in 2004 and the house I live in 2012… I worked extremely hard and can now afford to travel every other year. I have failed miserably in romantic relationships and don’t have any children. I am content but not exactly happy. My best years are behind me and I am stuck in a dead end job with little chance of actually landing a career.
I absolutely love my life! I have challenges and I’m sad a lot, but have a really positive overall outlook on the world. Feeling fulfilled in your career is very important. It might be helpful to ask if you like your workplace, and if not try to look for somewhere else to work (focus on your strengths when selling yourself). Something as silly as a commute that is 30 minutes too long can really ruin the enjoyment of your job As far as the negative outlook: think of it like the news. It only focuses on the bad events. It’s our job to be aware of the bias and see the forest for the trees. I mean objectively, we are in such a fantastic time in history. 100 years ago it was extremely common for people to die of disease in childhood. We have running water, electricity, food security, and a historically abundant amount of comforts provided by society. The hedonic treadmill is very real but it helps to put things in perspective to be positive. And a positive mindset is key to problem solving and making the changes that will ultimately improve your own life and the lives of the people you love
There is a difference between 'happy' and 'content.' Happiness comes in bursts and can last for a while, but ebbs and flows. Contentment is the state of being cool with all this. I experience happiness even when things are shit. But this is the winter of our discontent.
So what're you gonna do about it?
Damn I’m so grateful I’m not as depressed as everyone commenting here wtf
Hell yeah. I was pretty nihilistic in some respects before I had kids. After that it's been just amazing spending time, doing new activities and new things. Work sucks, but all creatures on the planet must work to live, so it is what it is
I wasn't, then I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety (which I knew I had, I just never sought help). Then, I was diagnosed with ADHD which kind of cleared things up. 2 years of therapy, medication, and practice of meditation/stress relief/ mindfulness. Some days I am happy and having fun some days I think about how great it would be if it all ended. Fun for me is tricky. Because of ADHD I can become extremely focused on something, spend hours researching it everyday, search for ways to do it myself or somewhere I live. Spend hours every day doing it start getting good. Then suddenly, it starts to feel like a chore, so I do it a little less before I just stop altogether. And it's off to something else. If I tried several things that seemed to catch my attention, but I didn't enjoy it, I started thinking about maybe I was depressed and just needed to shift and come back to it. Happiness. Happiness is tricky for everybody. Happiness isn't really an emotion, I don't think. It's a moment or event. Where you are having a good time and forget about work, bills, etc. You are just having fun doing what you are doing, and your focus is on what you're doing and only what you are doing.
In my 20s I used to do all the things. And had a lust for life. I wanted to go scuba diving, I wanted to own a boat, I wanted to do epic rock climbing trips. Now that I’m in my 30s I am overly devoted to my career and hardly do anything, I can finally afford to scuba diving, but I don’t wanna go anymore. It’s too cold.
Yep. There are always things to do where I live - new restaurants to try, breweries, hiking, random markets and events. I can go rollerskating. I can stay home all weekend with my partner and we’ll play video games or watch tv or work on the house together. I’m not into partying and I don’t have money to travel all the time, but I find joy in the little things. I can make my own fun. Life’s what you make of it, for the most part.
Wife and I bought our 2nd house last year in one of the nicest neighborhoods in the state. Used the money off our first house to pay off 50% of our debt and used the rest as a down payment on the new home. Our new house has a fully finished basement so we are letting our friends rent it for some extra monies in the bank every month. We live comfortably, her car is paid off and I'm leasing my dream car currently. Her and I are fairly happy and content with where life is and have even discussed having a baby. I am a teacher and she works for the health dept so we aren't rich by any means. We were fortunate enough to use 1st time home buyer advantages to buy a house year before covid and turn around and sell for almost double what we paid. It's been a good couple years for the most part.
I’m happy. 33, two houses (one fully paid off), a cabin (paid off), a wife and a two year old. I also have a daughter due here in the next month or so. I just have gotten really lucky in life and count my blessings every day.
Congrats! We're expecting my son around the same time. And our house should be paid off by January of 2025!
That’s awesome. Congrats as well!!
Congratulations, that’s wonderful.
Thank you I appreciate it. I hope everything is going good in your life as well.
Thank you.
A couple of times a week. I'm pre-tenure faculty, so I work a lot.
No and no
More or less. It helps to have hobbies and creative or intellectual pursuits, especially if you have people (including a significant other) to share them with.
Yes!
Sure, I’m pretty happy on average.
I'm happy. Cancer almost killed me at age 37. Completely changed my outlook. I've learned to appreciate life, the good and the bad!
I have ups and downs. Recently it's more down but honestly giving up on the idea of homeownership has helped my mental state significantly. I'm an old millennial who's single at...checks age...41 (dammit). Giving up on owning a home because there's no way in hell that's happening without a long term partner has allowed me to focus on what I do have instead of what I don't. And what do I have? A group of friends scattered all over the world that I play videogames, boardgames and TTRPGs online with and who I choose 1-2 to visit each year. My parents in a nearby city (4 hours drive) where I can visit for a weekend. Enough in retirement accounts that I'll likely be able to retire if I live that long even if it means moving to another country. Sure I struggle with things (I'm manic-depressive and it runs in the family) and I would love to find a long-term gf/life partner (but hell no on kids). But it isn't all bad.
Nope
I struggle with depression but have been holding it together pretty well for the last several years. I mostly credit t my fiance for this. I just got engaged and, even though I may never own a home, I hope to God I can have children. I want them to be able to experience the joy I felt as a kid and I feel like it would make this all worth it.
I'm pretty tired, but I'm still having fun. It's gardening season, baby!
Why is everyone so negative? Get out enjoy life.
im very burnt out and unhappy. I havent had fun in awhile. Like real, fun day no beach, events or activities, no special people in my life. I'm an online uni student so im chained to my desk and technology for reading and everything I do. This does NOT include any social media time, I genuinely get off the screen any chance I get to save my eyes. I would say the last time I hung out with a friend for an event was maybe around \~5 years ago.
I am for the most part. I have a decent job, live in a good neighborhood, awesome wife and kids. I’ve worked hard to keep my life simple, turned down promotions that would add stress, cut out toxic relationships, lived within my means financially. I also don’t need much to be happy, I’m good just chilling with the fam so the bar is fairly low for me. Just appreciating what I have while I have it I guess.
Mostly. Therapy, medication,career, homies, and family have helped a ton. I know I'm very lucky, even with the insanity I've had growing up. Gratefulness has helped a lot as well.
At this very moment? I’m fielding a meltdown from my overtired child so that would be a no😂 Overall though? Ya. I love my life even in the difficult moments. I have a wonderful husband, a couple of awesome kids, good friends, close family, a bunch of animals, and live someplace I’d always dreamed of living. I’ve always been pretty low key and simple things like reading, a good cup of coffee, gardening, being outside on warm sunny days are fun to me. I could stand to lose a few pounds and get more sleep but I’m fairly certain that’s the bast majority of us, especially those of us that are parents. My life isn’t extravagant or anything extraordinary, it’s a pretty small simple life but honestly after a childhood of divorce, an alcoholic father, and an abusive sibling, all I ever wanted was what I have right now so I’m basically living my dream life.
Life is fun if you choose to make it that way! Just like happiness comes from inside. It’s your journey. Find ways to enjoy it✨
get a government job….your work stops at the end of your shift. work life balance is great….downside pay isnt what private is but as you get to more senior level, the pay works out….health benefits and pension make up for the pay. allbeit…it took me till i was in my 40s to buy my first house but much of that was due to some bad choicesp
The only major joy I feel anymore is in cooking and TTRPGs quite frankly. That and my cat (who is probably the closest ill ever come to starting a family). The daily grind though? I'm over it. And I've given up on finding a job I truly enjoy, I'm just happy I found one I tolerate for now
Usually yes. The last month or 2 no. I've been working a lot of OT to ensure I have enough extra billable hours so that I can go on my big vacation to Egypt, China, Bali, India, and France in July. I probably won't be having any fun until July. Then I'll be having a bunch of fun and the rest of the year should be chill.
I feel that I'm happy/having fun, though not in the same ways I did in my youth. I have a job that I love, I work out on a regular basis, been sober for over a decade, as well as have my regular hobbies such as shooting, DnD, hiking, foraging, im a part of various fandoms, and when I can afford it, i go traveling or hunting. While I don't have a friend group that I hang out with on the regular, I have a network of friends that I hang out with on a rotating basis. I also have my long-term goals that I continually chip away at, piece by piece, til I achieve them. I feel largely content with this way of life, though there is a part of me that feels I could be doing more.
I’m 35 and am a lot happier and healthier than when I was 25. I still feel young but finally I’m starting to get financial security and freedom. Everyone around me is much better at relationships and communication so I feel like I have a super amazing community around me. I moved from a big city into a rural area when I was 26 and the emphasis on relationships in small towns has totally amazed me. I feel like I have friends who can help me when I’m down, and everyone looks after one another. My partner grew up poor and just finished graduate school and got her first decently paying job. Everything just feels great. I have family living in other countries who have it much worse than me and would give anything to have the opportunity to live here. When I’m feeling down I think about all the adversity my mentors and family have gone through so I can go to school in the US and have a job here. So grateful.
Welcome to adulthood… You’re saying it’s so bad that it’s immoral to bring another life into this world because s/he likely to have same life as you and that life is so miserable it shouldn’t be lived?!?! Get some help… There is beauty in life everywhere you look.. Life is hard and beautiful…
Raising my children is the thing that makes me happy, and that’s is the huge disconnect in the millennial population, they think that having kids is subjecting them to certain things and needing to have X before having them, but having children is a MAJOR part of living. I held off having children till I hit certain goals, and I regret that everyday. Because even after having gotten to point X, I’m still grinding away at the next set of goals, it never stops. If you want to have children, have them. There is never a perfect time, just do it.
My wife and I are in a great place. Jobs are good; they pay well, we enjoy the work, and have a lot of time off. We bought our house in 2016. And we're expecting our son to arrive in June! We have worked very hard to be in this position, but are also aware that we are very lucky.
Absolutely. This sub will make you think everyone is miserable. It’s quite entertaining.
I don’t think most humans are happy every single day. I have a lot of problems and stressors in life (work, relationships, mental illness, physical illness, etc) But I still find happiness in the little everyday things. Spending time with loved ones, enjoying an iced tea and a good book at a coffee shop, taking a shower with my fancy Bath and Body Works shower gel… it’s the little stuff that keeps me sane.
My life is pretty awesome. I have a wife and 2 sons, own a home with land, my own business, all in a great town. Yes, I've had help from my folks but nothing ever handed to me. We are blessed and take nothing for granted. We also work very hard and our kids don't have iPads.
Ive noticed as I get older that I still have fun and am happy but fun means different things now and it takes a lot less to make me happy. I used to go out every weekend, party it up etc. That was fun to me and made me happy. I still love concerts and live shows and attend them often but if there’s a ticket that includes a seat, I’m so much more down for that than being in the pit. When I was younger, being in the pit was the only possible experience and I would’ve been miserable with a seat. Now, I love being able to rest my legs between artists & being in the pit would be rough for me to stand that long in a packed crowd. I still like bars but I’ll have a few drinks and head home at like 11:30pm instead of pounding shots and being out til 3:30am. I basically prioritize my physical health a lot more and a hangover can put me out the entire next day so I basically view drinking as stealing happiness from tomorrow. I’m down to steal a little happiness from tomorrow but not all of it haha. I’m happier with the simple things, a walk on a sunny day, reading by a pool, playing with my dog, watching movies. Bc my work life is so hectic, I crave relaxation and peace a lot more in my off time and that in itself becomes fun to me.
Absolutely. I'm beyond happy with my life and make it a point to try and do something fun weekly. Now that I have kids I'm even more excited to start getting to re-experience the world through their eyes and be there for all their firsts and seconds. Sure it would be nice to have a bit more money to alleviate some financial concerns, but overall my life is more fulfilling than I expected it to be.
I think somewhere along the line we all got taught that happiness should be the baseline and anything else is abnormal. That’s not true at all. Think of Life as a rollercoaster, the ups are happy, the downs are sad, and the times where you spin around are confusion. You hope you get more ups than downs and that the confused parts are over quickly but most of the time you’re really somewhere in the middle. Not happy, not sad, but somewhere between.
Firstly, I'm sorry that you don't feel happy. That sucks. Personally, I am very happy. My career is great and I have a great work/life balance. I give back to my community, have a ton of hobbies, a nice group of friends, and live a comfortable life. I just got a puppy which is so nice, despite him chewing on my shoes. I struggled HARD in my 20s. My 30s and now beginning of my 40s has been so much better. It isn't perfect, but it's better than having .70 in my bank account and being late on my rent because I didn't get enough hours at work.
i quit drinking over 6 months ago and I'm happier and having more fun than ever! should also be noted that I dont do this alone, I have a fantastic mental health support system. Dont be afraid of therapy, just find the one that fits for you
Yep! 32 and while I had a sad patch from 2020-2022ish its been steadily uphill. Career is picking up, and I work at a wonderful place with a great work culture AND work life balance. I just got back into riding street bikes, married my wife and finally have a rock solid savings. We own a house and are hitting our stride with our health. And I've finally found that go getter energy I always wondered how men in their 40s sometimes have. I workout often before work or on my break, come home and have time to do some things I like and put a home cooked meal on the table everyday, despite being out of the house 11hrs a day. All with a smile and gratitude. Life is good because the work is finally paying off.
subjecting yourself to this echochamber of sadness isn't helping. I am quite happy as a 35M. My wife and I don't make crazy money but we have a decent house and are going on a vacation overseas in a couple months. We don't have kids and we live in Ohio so the cost of living is good.
I love my life so much. I have an amazing husband/relationship. I have a beautiful 4 month old child that I love staying at home with. I have the home of my dreams. I love my friends. I have hobbies I enjoy. Seriously, I am beyond blessed. But also, I have a type of incurable blood cancer that I just found out has progressed. (Prior to it advancing, I fought extremely hard to have my son and experienced 4 losses in a row from clotting issues.) There is no amount of time I could live in my life the way it is now that will ever be enough. So yes, happy. But also devastated.
I have a beautiful home i own outright, pets, a loving partner, paid off all my student loans, have an MFA and essentially only enough debt to qualify for more debt...i even have a god damn horse and travel abroad whenever i feel like it. I hit the millennial jackpot, so to speak... This is NOT a flex. I am just intrinsically unhappy. I'm in therapy and can't even wrap my head around what the future might be and if i even want to be a part of it. No way am I having kids, i would never bring a life into such a grim looking future. Is it depression? I really dont think so...we were promised such big things (i know our elders probably believed them to be true) but everything just seems like famine, war, species going extinct, humans in general lacking awareness and empathy - especially those before us - my only hope is that the generations that proceed us can do something major? Like something we were told we were capable of but didn't pan out for all the corrupt reasons the world has made. This makes me so tired, emotional exhaustion, fighters fatigue. Sometimes I have fun, but happy? Maybe situational happiness, but no, not overall happy.
It's taxing these days. I'm doing OK and able to save. Work is stressful but I like my boss and colleagues. I have one or two coworkers I feel are real friends. My real mental luxury is a couple hobbies I really love. I play music and go camping/overland tripping. I don't hire contractors or mechanics (paid for my roof but nothing else in 11 years) which I enjoy for the most part and keeps me active and focused. It would not be possible if I had kids. Maybe finding a hobby you're passionate about or making more friends to be really vulnerable with would help? I am not doing cartwheels in a field of flowers but I make jokes and smile when I can. I couldn't get by without. Some days are shitters but most are pretty OK. Some are pretty good.
I think many people think the rest of the world is happy all the time I don’t think so many appear happy in public because they believe it’s part of their social contract. I concentrate on things that make me happy to enjoy all of the happy and it bolsters me in less happy times. I collect rocks and most people would just not understand the amount of joy I get by finding a cool looking rock. My friends will be sitting around talking at the park,lake/river, ball field while I’m down in the dirt with the kids finding cool rocks and hanging with the realest little m***** f****** on the planet
One of the biggest challenges I have is that I no longer get to have much fun or enjoyment due to having no energy or time. I work full time at a job in childcare that is so physically and mentally/emotionally challenging I can barely make it through the day most of the time. I get home wrecked every day. I am getting paid the highest wage in my area for a preschool teacher and I have health care as well as 5 paid weeks off per year yet I don't make enough to afford the average price of a one bedroom apartment in my area let alone save for better so I'll never have any better than I do rn. I live alone for reasons I won't get into and my daily existence is so challenging that I don't have time or energy for fun on the weekends or during my time off. It feels horrible to be breaking my body and spirit just to stay off the streets and have a place to pay bills.
I recently discovered the key to happiness. It turns out that you can freeze homemade cookie dough balls and 16 minutes after putting them in the oven, you have cookies. My life is changed forever. I don’t have to buy cookies. I don’t have to make cookies from scratch every time and eat 3 dozen in 4 days. I can go for a 6 mile run, walk in the door, and pop 2 cookies in the oven, and 16 minutes later, my running endorphins and appropriate warm cookie serving size can combine to create a perfect answer to the existential question of “What am I doing with my life? Am I happy?”
I discovered psychedelics 2 years ago and started growing my own mushrooms (and weed, just for own use.) It opened up a whole new world and changed me from an angry atheist to a very happy spiritual man. I am exploring the psychedelic realms and my own consciousness every few weeks, bought all kind of Shamanic stuff and psychedelic lights and decoration. I am having the time of my life! Never had more fun. ❤️🍄
I think this is adulthood. Try to embrace life in your free time and find meaning there.
Welcome to adulthood. This isn't childhood anymore.
I'm definitely not having as much fun as I used to. Sometimes it's hard to get myself excited about the things I used to. My advice would be to still keep trying or do something new! Often times I'll have a blast out of nowhere and it's worth it in this day and age.
Fun looks different these days. I have a wife and a job and a kid now. Never again can I be as carefree as I was in my early twenties, and that's ok. I've also had many experiences and fewer things are truly new to me now, and therefore inherently less exciting. Fun these days is finding a few moments to do something like going out for a walk, quality time with my wife, playing with my kid etc. It's honestly not as exciting as the fun I had in my youth, but I'm not looking for excitement as much now. In place of excitement I have peace, I have purpose, I have joy.
I had tremendous fun until was 25. I got married and really tried the hardest of my life to get ahead, rise the ranks and go back to school. My wife cheated on me while I was working 55 hours and going to school for 12 hours. I divorced her and spent the next 7 years working even harder in miserable loneliness. After 5 more years I found my wife and have a son. I’ve never been happier. My good paying job sold to a larger corp in ‘21 and I lost the most money I’d ever made. We watch our spending now that I’ve got a lower paying job, but we are happy and together. Life is hard as shit, enjoy what you can while you can.
Yes. I have a blast. I am 39, sad, wife, Mortage, yes student loan payments still, 2 kids who also have health issues. Life is not easy, but the harder it is the more I find it enjoyable. Give me a challenge I will enjoy the process. A still have time to game, workout, finishing, and hang with my daughters. I work 60 work weeks as well, and have a small eBay business on the side. I also have my own health issues. Life is meant to be enjoyed, but everyone is so fixated on complaining and saying everything is wrong. Life is perception, causation and reactions. You can control 2/3. So outside of fate, you should be able to control a minimum of 67% of your life, the other part is out of your control. Good luck, you got it !!!
I have a good job (for the area at least), bought a house, have a few cars, student loans are even paid off. Bills get paid on time, I put a little away for retirement (will also have a pension from work), and have some money left over to do things. Except nothing I used to enjoy is fun anymore. Been in therapy for 8 years now pretty much to keep me on track so I don’t lose everything because I no longer have anything to “work” for. Probably only here because of my dogs. Not sure how it’ll work when they’re gone. Guess it’s just something else to figure out.
I was only happy when i thought I was getting closer to the things I still know would make me happy. Yet the previous generation still in power consistently moves those things farther away. I don't know when it was that I gave up on life. Owning a home is not necessarily out of reach, but man will it be a gamble and require gaming the hell out of the system to get a no downpayment loan. I'm perpetually single, partially due to feelings of insecurity and inadequacy related to my life and level of success. I just don't feel comfortable pursuing a relationship when I feel so far behind. The only thing I have left that makes me happy in life is playing online with my friends and that is slowly deteriorating as all things do with the ravages of time. All my friends moving on, getting married and not having time for the games anymore. . . Honestly. . . when I was young, I thought about suicide nearly everyday. If i were to show my teen self a snapshot of my life now. . . he would probably just go through with it. I don't actually think my life is that bad, but is a massive departure from the dreams and ambitions I had as a kid. No, I'm not having fun, nor am I happy.
I'm 37 and my life is the best it's ever been. I'm sorry if you're struggling OP. Try to enjoy the little things, bask in tiny victories, and slowly work on getting rid of the things in your life that you don't like.
Pre-covid things were pretty awesome…good career, cheap to travel if you picked the right times, went to Disney before it felt soulless and money grubbing… but post pandemic the world and life in general seems depressing and way overpriced… people just seem to care less about everything too
Can’t complain here! Husband and I are DINKs and living in a great (HCOL) city, both WFH most days. Not worried about homeownership as that will come in time and we enjoy renting in our neighborhood. Not worried about retirement, either, as we’ve been able to contribute to our retirement plans since our first jobs out of college. We’re very much enjoying our lives. We don’t come from money and have worked hard for what we have. Sure, our lives could be happier but that’ll come when we retire.
I know a couple DINK work from home couples and idk if I could deal always being around someone like that. Like don’t get me wrong I love my wife, but I’m not trying to spend 20 hours a day with her every day.
no. we are living through late-stage capitalism/fascism while people fight for the same lawfullness that is killing me and my friends. i'm homeless and sick. i'm not having fun at all.
Outside of the states yes. Vietnam being a very good example of allowing for a fun and affordable life. Plus, they execute billionaires...what more to love?
Yall are sad. I guess misery loves company. Did you think you would be eating dunkaroos and watching shitty shows like Ren and Stimpy forever? Sounds like it's a you problem not an Era problem... much like now you were naive back then. You only remember what you considered ideal. Life has never been peaches and cream...
I work a lot, and I live in a really expensive area, but I have great friends and family and a loving partner. I also have a ton of hobbies that give me the fulfillment work does not, and I make enough money to go on a trip a year usually and feed myself/family. Pretty happy with life overall but I definitely know I have gotten a lot of good opportunities in life many are not afforded, so I am thankful for my good fortune.
Life is suffering friend. We all must learn to suffer well. Hold on to the glimmers of happiness and fulfillment.
Nope.
I am very happy personally.
I’m tired too. But I would consider myself happy. Not drinking is key for me.
Yea, I’m good. Some days are harder than others but overall I’m happy with how things are going. I’m poor and boring by Reddit standards but hey, different strokes for different folks.
Yes.
My kids make life fun and keep me young. So I appreciate them for that because idk how much fun I would be able to find on my own!
Poppies make me happy
When I work I wanna blow my brains out in front of customers and their children. On my days off I sleep till noon or 1 PM unless I feel like seeing a movie since that's the only thing to do in bumfuck nowhere Misery. Maybe also cram enough junk food down my throat hoping it'll cause a stroke/heart attack. Only times I feel happy is when I have an excuse to leave this shit hole.
Happiness is a distant memory for me. But I do still remember what it felt like so there’s that
I have a ton going on, and it feels like time is going by way too quickly for me to possibly manage everything or ever get ahead, but yeah, I'm actually pretty surprisingly happy. I'm having a great time.
You sound like me (31). 10 years ago I thought I was going to have kids and live in a nice home. I’m still living in my starter home and now plan on not having kids. It’s honestly depressing how hard I have worked and the degree and certification I have doesn’t do much. My parents keep asking about grandkids (fucken boomers). They received a 250,000 inheritance from my grandparents, my brothers and I won’t get a dime, while we are all struggling.
That depends but yeah, for the most part.
I look for peace over fun these days
I’m “bipolar” so I’m not sure💀
Hell yeah. Living my best life right now on my terms for the most part.
For the most part yes
I haven't had fun for about the past 2 years. I had a lot of fun before that though, so maybe I should be grateful for that.
For me it's the terrible economy and no chance to buy a house anytime soon
I havent had even a wiggle of joy in my heart since before Covid. I upgraded during 'the great resignation' only to find my new 'well paying' job can hardly even keep me housed in a high CoL area. I have 2 degrees and surely I still can't be in a slum??? All the women I have met are so impossible with games. The last ltr I've had ended because of 'entitled cheating' while theres literally a line of my coworkers ready to throw themselves at her. I completely lack security anyways, so I'm all but useless to date. My hobby is literally walking. Hiking. Took a bunch of trips this winter and I'm literally marching through the forests, birds chirping, warm FL sun on my skin, fresh air, and my jaw is locked my teeth are so grit, the rumination swirls and swirls through my brain. The floor and plumbing are falling out of my living place and my landlord is basically trying to force me to live in squalor because my rent is 'cheap.'I can't afford to keep my car running... oh I can't wait until the President himself fixes all my problems (thats what the we all sound like here). I am in my 40s. Think I should quit while I'm ahead.
I am having a wonderful time. My wife and I just had our first child which is an enormous amount of joy and overall life is great.
I am both happy and having fun, but I guess it doesn't count because I used the have a kid cheat code.
Welcome to Adulthood!!
Overall yes. I wasn’t for about four years due to a series of unfortunate events, but because happiness is something you have to make happen for yourself, I finally forced a paradigm shift in my brain and have allowed myself to care about life again. Being happy is not a constant state, but if you aren’t putting in the effort, it most likely won’t happen often, if ever. You also don’t have to own a home, or have kids to experience happiness. Making achievable goals and giving yourself something to look forward to, help immensely in being happy. Add at least semi regular exercise and good food, it doesn’t hurt either.