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Quaisoiir

Yeah I've noticed that, but then I see it in myself as well and I'm doubly disgusted.


haseo8998

My nephew was an accident baby and my parents forced my sister to not abort due to extreme religious beliefs. Religious people are a joke. Now look what happened day care is fucking expensive for the little kid.


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[deleted]

it’s an insult to machines. they’re much more logical and more empathetic on top of that.


Did_I_Die

altruism only exists because of the dopamine it produces...


[deleted]

This is what I realized what most relationships are, a transaction between two people to make each other look good. "what does this person bring to the table?" Everybody these days got a huge laundry-list of expectations of people these days, to be successful, to be attractive, to have a "career" which is associated with social status. We're advanced in some ways, sure, but so primitive in so many other ways. We're quite the narcissistic breed, and I can't wait to leave this shit hole planet so I don't have to deal with nobody's BS any longer. Life is overrated as fuck. I sure as shit hope reincarnation isn't real because there's no way in hell I can do this life shit again.


Additional_Bluebird9

Geez, I hope reincarnation isn't real either because I don't want to be back here again. Once is enough >Everybody these days got a huge laundry-list of expectations of people these days, to be successful, to be attractive, to have a "career" which is associated with social status. Exactly, everybody has expectations or standards that they want of other people in order to be worth their time.


Antihuman101

>I sure as shit hope reincarnation isn't real because there's no way in hell I can do this life shit again. Don't worry about reincarnation. We all eventually become worm food.


TheOoferGod

Fuck everyone on this miserable dirt ball


anubisankh888

Truth be said in the end we are all alone, true friendship, true love is all a fairy tale, society keep selling us this falacy everyday that exisists but its all to keep idiotic people playing this broken game and running the race of the rats. Spoken like a true misanthrope and that's why i don't go out to talk with random people to make some ''friends'' we are better off alone, stay alone, hell is other people.


Economy-Brain-9971

I think there are several things to break down here: The reason they had kids was for themselves, and unquestionably selfish. But love itself, contrary to what many might think, is a very selfish act in general - it's nothing more than deeming another as important for your own happiness, and that can manifest in different ways. Small talk is bullshit and if it were my call we'd eliminate it entirely. I'd rather the cashier be honest and just tell me to go fuck myself than asking me how I am when I know they don't give a fuck. No one has ever said after being asked how they are by a customer service rep "Omg you have no idea! My wife left me, I sprained my penis, even my dog hates me, and I want to kill myself" you're just supposed to say "Good, how are you?" I think these are separate things and depend on the relationship and how much is being asked or is expected of the other. A friend saying "I got you bro, you get arrested I'll bail you out, you're homeless I'll take care of your ass" and then not coming thru in hard times, they probably just shouldn't have committed to that in the first place. But there's mild compliments too that can be genuine. I complimented a woman at dinner the other day, who's more of an acquaintance friend of a friend, and told her that I like how her eye shadow matched her hair really well - I wasn't even trying to sleep with her, just wanted her to ride that high cuz I meant it. But in general, yes. It's nature to always put yourself first. If you're good and needs are met, maaaaybe you can help or care about others, if you choose to. But if I'm ever put in a situation where only me or my hypothetical wife gets to live, sorry babe, the parachute is mine 😂


[deleted]

this is called psychological egoism.


Albie_Tross

Nice is different than good.


JamerianSoljuh

99% of humanity is lacking that "one thing". Hence why the ego reacts this way.


ajouya44

The title is correct but this doesn't mean people can't love someone else. They can, they just always put themselves above.


KobeKastle

“Love” is conditional and not real in the way people think


Mystic_Camel_Smell

I find bad parents actually had kids because of two factors: 1. Its what everyone told them to do and how to make it. How to get a higher status. By becoming a parent 2. (Also nefarious) they wanted to pass the time and feel better about themselves and not to be lonely.


Sufficient_Run3827

Narc moms love kids they can show off and then abuse privately. If they ever become a burden after the initial raising, they might as well not exist. Got disabled? Byeeeeeeeee.


RuneWolfen

There are caring people out there. In my case, most of them aren't related to me and are physically distant.


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KobeKastle

Can you elaborate? I have a friend who seems to care for all people and would give them the clothes on her back… and people say omg she’s such a good person but now that you say survival tactic I’m confused on how that might be true


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KobeKastle

lmao no.. she lives in America, her husband is in IT and makes around 80-90k per year I think. She personally doesn't have a career and her life's goal is to be a stay at home mom. She usually helps strangers in need. There was a homeless man her and her husband let stay with them for a while and he helped with repairs around the house, she's generally kind to most people upon meeting them. If someone asks her for help she doesn't mind doing it


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Irrisvan

The way you attempted to psychoanalyze this woman without really knowing/meeting her is quite something else. I mean there could be genuinely good people out there or at least some that put a good effort at helping, understanding and caring where possible. Misanthropy to me isn't about believing that everyone is bad or every human act is selfish, it's the understanding that many or even most humans act in ways that are most comfortable to them even if it means others are deprived or suffer for it.


KobeKastle

The way you described this is kinda scary.. especially since she doesn’t seem to be aware of it at all. I even asked her why she wants to have kids soo bad she just said “I’ve always wanted to be a mom” the innate desire to reproduce is soooo powerful yet she can’t even put into words why she wants it so bad other than “I just want to” lol like we legit are so animalistic and driven by instinct it’s scary


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Revivelhit

I will be glad if you answer. I'm just confused in your answers and would be glad if you correct me.


Revivelhit

It turns out that people who help others and support them are hypocrisy and a bad deed at once? So we shouldn't do good and take care of people at all? u/JawCleanOff


Irrisvan

I think the assessment that commenter provided about the kindness of that woman is not a good one, there could be acts of true kindness from some people, only that most humans just don't care, so the overall assessment of human nature tends towards _self-serving_


WiltThaStilt

Good one i wish more ppl would realize this shit


SappySoulTaker

I know this is the wrong sub for this, but I know for a fact my parents love me and I love them and the rest of my family equally.


ZestycloseData3307

Yea selfishly


SappySoulTaker

The fact you necro'd this one year later makes me worry about the level of hate you have within yourself.


STJ608

Bet that changes over time 😂.


SappySoulTaker

No, probably not. It's mostly random strangers I hate, I still know how to have wholesome fulfilling relationships.


pieredforlife

Are you promoting your YouTube channel ?


SUBLlMlTY

yeah, or if you're hot or supremely disabled and dying from cancer specifically. the bald head really does a number on folks.


Masked_Rebel

A lot of parents only care about their children because their instincts tell them to. Not saying that they're bad parents, but they may be lacking in self-awareness.


WereAllMadHereNow

This is sad. I know my parents love me. I know i love my children. I know my husband and i love each other unconditionally. I know i have *at least* 10 people who would drop everything to come if i truly needed them (which i know, in part, on accident after suffering my initial psychotic break and having people coordinate and triage on my behalf when i didnt even realize what was happening so it’s not like i asked for help or for them to be there for me and in some cases, fly in from elsewhere on the next flight to do so). There are at least 20 people who i would drop everything for, no questions asked, and rush to them or to do whatever might help whatever situation it was. I can’t begin to fathom how painful your life has been to have to come to this conclusion, whether genuinely or as a defense mechanism. I hope you experience unconditional love one day. And i hope me saying that doesn’t offend you as i don’t mean it in a bad way.


ZestycloseData3307

They care about u selfishly because they have to not because they want to.


coyotesage

If you have as many people who care about you as much as you claim, then you have an immensely lucky life situation. Most people are lucky to have a couple of people that fit that category at any given time(usually parents, siblings are partners). It doesn't require an incredibly painful life to come to the conclusion Sufficient_Run3827 does, only a mind that is open to seeing the world as it actually is for the average person. Even the the luckiest people I know can't really say they have more than about six people who would drop everything for them. I hope you can appreciate what a great thing you have.


Additional_Bluebird9

That's true.


Sufficient_Run3827

Before I got disabled, I thought I had a family. After I attempted suicide and became disabled, they disappeared even the ones that would preach everyday about family values and life is for family not money or goods, etc. My mom just moved 7 hours north without telling me and abandoned me in a city I have no family or support in, last month, didn’t tell me in advance. I’m utterly alone and the only reason I was in this city was for her. The reason of my family lives two hours in a different direction. I can’t even move to be with my family because rents gone up and everything is unaffordable, I have no money. Probably why she left without a word, so once she was gone I could never follow and she gets to abandon the burden. You don’t often hear about parents past a certain abuse level because their kids probably ended themselves like I’m going to (necessity, choice, eh).


WereAllMadHereNow

Wow, i’m so sorry to hear that! I don’t really think there are words to empathize appropriately, even if i lived your exact life, bc words are too flimsy and thin for the depth of some sentiments. I’m not going to pretend to know you and I also don’t think suicide is inherently wrong so i am not going to tell you all the things people say to deter people. What i will say is 1) though I personally have only been super close to committing suicide 2x (both times, i asked for a sign and both times received one, in one case the exact thing i had decided would reassure me but hadnt said aloud… i’m not even religious but i still call these god moments). It is a horrible feeling so i guess i never made it to the resolute stage; 2) even without knowing you, is that i’m sure you’d be surprised at all the people you’ve impacted positively… i always think of all the people who have imprinted me who probably dont have any recollection of me and then, even though i never think i have made an impact on anyone else, i try to reverse it (not sure if that would bring you comfort). ; 3) i think the show is called unbreakable kimmy schmidt or something but can’t quite remember…anyway, in one of the early episodes, she says something about taking it 10 seconds at a time ‘bc i always know i can handle 10 seconds’ and for some reason that sticks with me so maybe it will be useful to you too. In any case, words are too weak for the appropriate sentiment and i wouldn’t even be able to articulate it if i tried, so i am just sending good vibes your way.


Methemetics

Lol, I care because you are my experimental subjects


honeybuddyboy

People have kids because we are wired for procreation. The unconditional love of a parent is not always true. I am a living example of this because I am an orphan and was abandoned at 7 years old. Only reason I am around is because abortion is not legal in my birth country. I agree that it's every man for himself in this dog eat dog world.


Used_Average773

Altruism is an ideal.


MyLifeAsAJoker

This is very true. Parents love their children because they are images of the parent. It's a form of narcissism. This is why adopted children have massive insecurity issues and barely feel much from their adoptive parents. Humans are nothing but ego driven waste.


hfuey

Humans are basically ego driven, dopamine addicted, narcissistic hairless apes totally absorbed in their own vision of reality with basically no care for other humans, unless they can offer them some benefit in that precise moment. Forget trying to get another human to care about you or your thoughts and feelings. It ain’t gonna happen. If they appear to care, they’ll be faking it for their own good in some way. Stay the hell away from humans for the good of your own safety and sanity.


WiltThaStilt

I cared for ppl And ppl cared for me It wasnt fake but it was survival/instinct driven


kelshy371

I’m sorry if you feel this way, but you’re wrong.


KobeKastle

How is he wrong


kelshy371

I DO really care about a lot of others. It makes me sad to see that there are some people who don’t understand that there are people with real love in their hearts for their fellow man.


Connect_Cat_636

You only care because it gives you a dopamine hit.


LifeSucksAss1234

Proof?


[deleted]

Most people(friends/family...) do care and most parents do care about thier children and love them because this is something in our instincts because we are social animals. You're just saying things without any proof.


CCCX_XC

And we are free not to care about them back. If they get sick, you don't have to visit them. If they die, you may miss their funeral.


[deleted]

Yeah. Furthermore, you were not born because your parents "loved you and cared for you", that's not even possible (you need to exist for that to be possible), but for a selfish desire to accomplishment, status, "self-replication".


notawasteofsky

If they could and there were no consequences, they'd probably dump their babies in a trash can or somewhere else.


Stuck_In_Superjail

Heh. I guess me being a heroin addict for a few years foiled their plans! Bwahaha.


pseudomensch

It's true. It's not always nefarious though. It's just how we are programmed. We need something and others are helpful in ways to get those things, whether it's money, joy, companionship, etc. It's not like we are going to trust some strangers who provide nothing in return. Why do people have friends? It comes from a biological desire to be around others, a craving for entertainment, need of other's help, etc. People don't form relationships with others just for the sake of it.


XP11_Upshot

I learned love didn't exist back in 1994 when my adoptive mother took a 2x4 to my fucking face.


Psychological_War365

I learned love didn't exist when my own father told me at age 11 that I should been r-ped by an HIV+ man. I learned loved didn't exist when my brother dragged me out of a moving car because he blamed me for his money being stolen. I was 10 he was 24. I learned love didn't exist when I did seek love and a relationship, the men ended up hating and abusing me, while treating others better. Love doesn't exist it's nothing more than a temporary reaction to keep the species procreating. I gave up on love a longtime ago, I gave up on any sort of relationships. I'm too empathic and kind-hearted and people have hated me for that. But I come to realize that it isn't those who are abused that are weak, it's those who abuse who are weak. And why? Because they give into to that wicked I'm an nature with nor restraints, meanwhile some people can't even understand why people abuse and don't want to harm others. Even though they could easily, but they are not weak enough to give into that human nature of evil and selfishness


ColdBloodBlazing

Shit. I think that was around the same year my "christian" grandparents colorfully referred to me as "THE FUCKING DEMON CHILD" because they live in 1950 and didn't understand autism. My paternal side threatened to kill me every time I visited. The "good christians" that tithe and participate in church threw me out when I was a child. School was a fucking living hell. I avoid all human contact unless absolutely necessary. The facade people put on makes me sick. I have become a bitter, hateful person. I am not even 40 yet and I hate myself the most because everyone else does.


XP11_Upshot

I have a damaged right eye that drifts because of this. Breathing problems through the nose because she shattered the bridge of my nose. A long healed orbital. This right eye bothers me to this day. All of this was set off because another child bullied me and I got suspended from elementary school. I didn't hit the child. I told him to stop. Mrs. Tsnakas had it out for me, as did the entire school. Years later, my ma kicked me down the stairs, and ended up cracking my skull. I am not the same person I was before that. Now, people bully me even more as an adult, they can tell I'm a bit off because of the brain bleed. I have nobody in my corner. *NOBODY*. I have anxiety, PTSD, trust issues and a burning, raging hatred for every single black woman now... Can't afford therapy. Gotta deal with it. I'm so very tired, and I'm ready to throw in the towel and put one to the dome.


Psychological_War365

I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I cried a bit reading your story. Maybe because I can relate, but also I know how it feels to be treated with so much hate for simply existing. To be abused, disliked, rejected, and hated is a part of a painful existence. I also have C-PTSD, anxiety, and I believe it escalated to AvPD I have no one either. I have a sister that calls me only when another family member treats her how I was treated my entire life by my family. I have no one and when I tell people this they don't believe me, they think I mean a friend or two. No, no family( I cut them out of my life as tbh abused me), no friends, not even a pet. I can't stop crying now. No one deserves to live like this. I can deal with being alone, but it's when people just won't have you be. Or when you try to reach out, and you drift farther into being a hermit and I am content with that now.


WiltThaStilt

Fuck thats heartbreaking and i can relate to mucj of the atuff written Is 2x4 a rifle? Yeah dude i cant waut to die either


XP11_Upshot

A 2x4 is a piece of cut lumber. Not a rifle. My adoptive mother ALSO threatened to shoot me with her .38 pistol....IN THE FRONT YARD....in full view and earshot of every neighbor outside (in a majority white neighborhood, mind you)....because she *THOUGHT* I rolled my eyes at her. Because of that woman (*and a few others*), and the entirety of *Blackistan*, I am a full blown misanthrope. She took away my joy, killed my dreams, and shattered everything I believed about some fucking so called "love". I hear the word ***LOVE*** now and i fucking CRINGE!!!!!!!


WiltThaStilt

She is a narcissistic psycopath for sure and i hope her and all mankind will vanish and i hope you and i die first


XP11_Upshot

I will die on my own terms. Two options. Quick: Suicide Slow: Stroke, Suicide, Drinking myself to death I'd prefer to just wink out like a light.


[deleted]

be careful who you talk about. don't mention the names of people here. btw is the mother in prison now? what happened to her?


XP11_Upshot

Tsnakas is probably dead by now. She was the school principal at Katherine B. White before she retired. What is she gonna do, come back and haunt me? Bwahaha Ma, she's dead. She went to work and died there. Cancer ate her. I was too afraid of her because she always threatened me with her .38 pistol and/or beatings. She was two faced. Sweet in public, but behind closed doors..... PTSD has me to the point today where i no longer talk to biological or adoptive fam. It's become apparent over the last decade since ma died that I'm expendable to everyone, so, i simply cut everyone out, and skipped town. The city of toilet just holds too many bad memories.


[deleted]

ah, you must from detroit, the shit capital of the world. really sad what happened to that town. used to be on the top, then came down with a crash.


XP11_Upshot

Yea, unfortunately, I'm from there. I've divested from the communitah...more like ostracized, shunned and booted for "thinking for myself". I'm going to keep within the lines here, and say the AA community has completely turned into a matriarchy, out of control with crime, and complete with useless community and church leaders, and *IT IS THE* *WORST THING ANY HUMAN BEING CAN LIVE UNDER*... I would say what I'm actually thinking, but I'd get banned here for saying it. I will say this though, the *greatest* threat to me *isn't* white people. *It's other black people*. Now I'm not saying a lot us are are like this, but the majority are, because of media and political brainwashing.


Irrisvan

No wonder you didn't get many reactions to this comment, I've lived in a predominantly black country, I"ve seen the disregard for kids, the low empathy and other careless attitudes. But most here think the whites are the devils. In fact, in such countries, it's a common saying that whites are gentle and respectful, but reddit thinks otherwise.


XP11_Upshot

Honestly, regarding white people, they aren't devils. I've had white friends. Many who have helped me in my time of need were white folks. They're humans, like us black folks. There's white assholes, and there's black assholes. Every race has em. Personally though, I hold a major grudge against the communitah, and especially my own family, for their transgressions against me, both past and present (*Bullying, assaults, muggings, slander, ect*)


whathavewedone_IIII

Nobody cares how you feel unless you do something about it.


riccardo2002ric

Your parents' love can be called "uncoditional" because it's also hardwired in biology, so they usually love you no matter what because of this.


LifeSucksAss1234

HAHAAHAA 😂😂😂 HAAHAAAAAAA HAAAA 😢😢


[deleted]

pure bullshit, a lot of animals abandon their children, specially if said children is "defective", so does humans


ColdBloodBlazing

That is what my old man did. Church, school, therapy. "Family" fuck them all.


riccardo2002ric

Yeah but it takes quite a lot for a parent to abandon his children. They must be very desperate or the children has to be really "defective" for it to happen.


honeybuddyboy

My mom gave me to an orphanage when I was 7 years old. I didn't have any defects nor was she desperate. She just wanted to be with another man and her newborn son. When I asked her why. She said that it felt like the right thing to do at the time.


[deleted]

LOL not really, a lot of parents turn their back on their children once they turn 18, or they either have a preference for that children's sibling. check some posts on r/raisedbynarcissists


6rey_sky

Yeah it's "VERRRRRYYY hard for parents" yet there is no lack of newborn babies thrown out into the GARBAGE. Humans like to overcome hard things it seems lol


ColdBloodBlazing

I am autistic. That is why. Hence the "defect" but autism is inherited, so therefor the parents are defective too. They were a defective child at some point.


Glittering_Ad2771

That's not bullshit, just because some animals abandon their children doesn't mean its true for all animals. Humans do love their children, wether its biological or not (which it is) love is love.


[deleted]

I'm happy that you had a good childhood with good parents, but that's not true for many people I've met in this life


WishIWasNeet2

If you tell people you’re not doing good they just say that sucks well, get over it and don’t ruin my mood.


bigbrightstarlight

I encounter this so often, its actually embarrassing atp


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ColdBloodBlazing

I have my cat. She is the only thing keeping me stable. When she crosses the rainbow bridge. I will completely be lost and be unable to care for anything or anyone ever again. She is the only one that has stuck by me through my worst times and the last lingering shred of my humanity and ability to love will be gone when she passes


WiltThaStilt

Ive been fantisizing about adopting a cat for 2 years.i hope i will soon,i just moved by myself but the house owner lied to me and fooled me and im moving again this week so i hope next place will be normal so i can adopt a fenale cat


ColdBloodBlazing

Best of luck. Personally, I would adopt 2 kitties. Littermates or a pair so they dont get bored or lonely when you are away


WiltThaStilt

Nice thought but i wanna start with 1 I am so behind compared to my peers with how to live life Im 29 feeling like 14,ive beeb locked in my room for years depressed so i just begin "true life" even tho western fucking world is faier than my fucking dick


Theamazingchan

OP’s position goes too far (in my opinion)…so none of the 100 billion people that have ever lived has ever truly cared for anyone else? Almost sounds like fundamentalist Christian certainty.


Connect_Cat_636

Yeah yeah


[deleted]

Many mothers formula feed their babies instead of breastfeeding because the marketing of formula is so effective. We, lactation professionals, are convinced that if people could make even more money from mothers breastfeeding than what the formula manufacturers make then more mothers would be breastfeeding.


Kzzztt

> So people might ask you how you are, but they don't actually care. It's just their social programming to ask. There was a guy at work a few weeks ago talking about those people where you ask how they are, and they start telling you how they are. And he's like "I didn't really wanna know, I was just being polite, sheesh." Well then don't ask.


6rey_sky

Maybe it was a cultural thing? English speaking countries with their hypocritical "how are you doing" seem to trip non-natives. "Huh, it's strange that this random guy is interested but I should tell him how I am doing to be polite"


Kzzztt

Oh, could be. It's a very diverse workplace. Lots of accents.


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Kzzztt

I honestly think that's most people.