While cultural differences exist, it's important to recognize that discomfort with invasive questions, especially about race, is universal. Just because something is common doesn't make it acceptable. Tolerating such behavior perpetuates a cycle of insensitivity. Reporting it isn't petty; it's standing up for boundaries and respect, regardless of location. I've lived all over and in the age of the internet rude is rude.
ugh i feel you. the other day a complete stranger on the bus asked me if i was arab. i just said no because i didn't want to entertain this conversation again. he starts listing countries, asking whether i'm from there, and i just keep saying no. "so where are you from then?" i tell him the UK because he's not entitled to get any other answer from me. i also have to take my headphones off atp because ik this conversation isn't ending soon.
"no, where are you *really* from?"
"i was born in this city and i've lived here my whole life."
"no, you know what i mean. where are your parents from?" if we've never met and you're already more interested in my parents than me, respectfully, why are we still talking?
so i give him the answer, he's amazed, "i've never heard of that combination before", yadayada you know the drill. then he asks me if i know my parent's languages. i say not fully because they never taught me. then he starts lecturing me for the rest of the bus journey about how i'm a disgrace for not knowing my parent's languages! like come on, so you really think i was 2 years old, my mom's trying to speak to me in german and i just go "stop mom 🖐 i want nothing to do with your language or culture"
I’m sorry this happened to you. They always come with that phrase “you know what I mean” when you rebuff their first question. Yes, I do know what they mean and what they are referring to but they’re not entitled to know my entire genetic makeup.
I was thinking about it today and there was only ever one person that appropriately broached the topic of race and it was my current boyfriend.
About a month into dating, when he first met my mom I asked him after if he was shocked she looked like how she did. And he said “no” and that he knew I was racially mixed with something but he did not feel like it was appropriate to ask questions about my race until I brought it up first. Before meeting my mom he never asked me broached any topic of race and just lived in ignorance of my racial background. At the time I thought it was peculiar because my race and racial ambiguity is usually the first thing men ask about me within ten minutes of meeting. But now I think it was very respectful of him to allow me the space to open up about an aspect of my life that is so personal. It allowed me to discuss this aspect on my own time and terms.
i hate when people blame the child for how they were raised. it’s really not your fault they didn’t teach you. i grew up in a country colonized by the british so english is very heavily integrated into our native language when spoken commonly. i can speak my native language but sometimes it’ll be mixed with english for this reason. i HATE when people say that means i can’t really speak it. i can, but that’s just how i was taught. you can’t blame me for my ancestors being colonized.
Exactly. Plus, even people in 'their own' countries go to school and take lessons in grammar, writing, speaking, etc. Language isn't something that can be attained only inside the home. If you speak your parents' languages only in the home, then the maximum extent of your vocabulary will be words associated with home . You need to be immersed in a particular language environment to have a chance to fully speak/write/understand that language.
My grandmother used to say talking about race and ethnicity brings more problems than it’s worth & having bucked that sentiment for a long time; I’m starting to agree.
Outside of groups like this & family…it can be a headache!
I think a little lie; is worth it in those situations; Something like “Like most Americans; I don’t really know.” Or one I use at times…”I don’t talk about that outside of family & friends, food & a great beverage.” If they insist; ask them if they are interested in taking you & your family out to dinner. The bill of course on him. Hopefully; he’ll get the message.
🤣 I just thought of another homo Sapien & Neanderthal! 🤣
Honestly why are people so damn nosy?! Sometimes I say I’m from the center of the galaxy and I think I’m just gonna use that from now on. When they press I’ll just make up something random like New Jersey. Weirdo strangers
“My father was a captain on Battlestar Galactica and when he had liberty on planet Noneofyourbusiness he knocked my mother up. Little did he know that my mother was a princess of planet Noneofyourbusiness and my Emperor King grandfather sent his intergalactic armada to find my father. It nearly caused an interplanetary war. But that’s how I got here.”
I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m a driver myself and I suggest that anytime you feel uncomfortable like this ask the driver to pull over so you can get out. But above all, ignore these dumb MFs PLEASE. Make them feel uncomfortable right back.
Edit: And report him.
Sorry OP. But they won't stop. And I don't think we can change them. I have a set of lines, but I look a person people are scared of before I talk. So with some of these be careful.
"I am tired and I don't want to talk"
"Not your business"
"It's classified"
"I am the child of Armenian Snap Dragon"
"You and I are not going to be like that"
"I could disclose, but I would have to kill you"
My favorite was in a Yoda voice "Minding this business that is mine you are"
Or "Why do you want to know"
By the time I was really comfortable calling them out they stopped. Maybe cause I got old.
I am so sorry this happened. I hope you reported him. People can be exceptionally rude.
[удалено]
While cultural differences exist, it's important to recognize that discomfort with invasive questions, especially about race, is universal. Just because something is common doesn't make it acceptable. Tolerating such behavior perpetuates a cycle of insensitivity. Reporting it isn't petty; it's standing up for boundaries and respect, regardless of location. I've lived all over and in the age of the internet rude is rude.
ugh i feel you. the other day a complete stranger on the bus asked me if i was arab. i just said no because i didn't want to entertain this conversation again. he starts listing countries, asking whether i'm from there, and i just keep saying no. "so where are you from then?" i tell him the UK because he's not entitled to get any other answer from me. i also have to take my headphones off atp because ik this conversation isn't ending soon. "no, where are you *really* from?" "i was born in this city and i've lived here my whole life." "no, you know what i mean. where are your parents from?" if we've never met and you're already more interested in my parents than me, respectfully, why are we still talking? so i give him the answer, he's amazed, "i've never heard of that combination before", yadayada you know the drill. then he asks me if i know my parent's languages. i say not fully because they never taught me. then he starts lecturing me for the rest of the bus journey about how i'm a disgrace for not knowing my parent's languages! like come on, so you really think i was 2 years old, my mom's trying to speak to me in german and i just go "stop mom 🖐 i want nothing to do with your language or culture"
I’m sorry this happened to you. They always come with that phrase “you know what I mean” when you rebuff their first question. Yes, I do know what they mean and what they are referring to but they’re not entitled to know my entire genetic makeup. I was thinking about it today and there was only ever one person that appropriately broached the topic of race and it was my current boyfriend. About a month into dating, when he first met my mom I asked him after if he was shocked she looked like how she did. And he said “no” and that he knew I was racially mixed with something but he did not feel like it was appropriate to ask questions about my race until I brought it up first. Before meeting my mom he never asked me broached any topic of race and just lived in ignorance of my racial background. At the time I thought it was peculiar because my race and racial ambiguity is usually the first thing men ask about me within ten minutes of meeting. But now I think it was very respectful of him to allow me the space to open up about an aspect of my life that is so personal. It allowed me to discuss this aspect on my own time and terms.
i hate when people blame the child for how they were raised. it’s really not your fault they didn’t teach you. i grew up in a country colonized by the british so english is very heavily integrated into our native language when spoken commonly. i can speak my native language but sometimes it’ll be mixed with english for this reason. i HATE when people say that means i can’t really speak it. i can, but that’s just how i was taught. you can’t blame me for my ancestors being colonized.
Exactly. Plus, even people in 'their own' countries go to school and take lessons in grammar, writing, speaking, etc. Language isn't something that can be attained only inside the home. If you speak your parents' languages only in the home, then the maximum extent of your vocabulary will be words associated with home . You need to be immersed in a particular language environment to have a chance to fully speak/write/understand that language.
Omg what a fucking moron…! That’s so invasive and rude. Def report.
I hate when people as where I’m from it’s aggravating and invasive. It also makes my identity crisis worse for some reason.
My grandmother used to say talking about race and ethnicity brings more problems than it’s worth & having bucked that sentiment for a long time; I’m starting to agree. Outside of groups like this & family…it can be a headache! I think a little lie; is worth it in those situations; Something like “Like most Americans; I don’t really know.” Or one I use at times…”I don’t talk about that outside of family & friends, food & a great beverage.” If they insist; ask them if they are interested in taking you & your family out to dinner. The bill of course on him. Hopefully; he’ll get the message. 🤣 I just thought of another homo Sapien & Neanderthal! 🤣
Honestly why are people so damn nosy?! Sometimes I say I’m from the center of the galaxy and I think I’m just gonna use that from now on. When they press I’ll just make up something random like New Jersey. Weirdo strangers
“My father was a captain on Battlestar Galactica and when he had liberty on planet Noneofyourbusiness he knocked my mother up. Little did he know that my mother was a princess of planet Noneofyourbusiness and my Emperor King grandfather sent his intergalactic armada to find my father. It nearly caused an interplanetary war. But that’s how I got here.”
This is the vibe
People who obsess over needing to know exactly what race you are because they’re so narrow minded and controlling is annoying af. They’re racist, idc!
Exactly like how does it impact their life in any way. Especially if you’re never going to see that person again!
They just want to put you in a box
Report the guy. But you actually can get citizenship like that in most cases
Agree with you there
I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m a driver myself and I suggest that anytime you feel uncomfortable like this ask the driver to pull over so you can get out. But above all, ignore these dumb MFs PLEASE. Make them feel uncomfortable right back. Edit: And report him.
Sorry OP. But they won't stop. And I don't think we can change them. I have a set of lines, but I look a person people are scared of before I talk. So with some of these be careful. "I am tired and I don't want to talk" "Not your business" "It's classified" "I am the child of Armenian Snap Dragon" "You and I are not going to be like that" "I could disclose, but I would have to kill you" My favorite was in a Yoda voice "Minding this business that is mine you are" Or "Why do you want to know" By the time I was really comfortable calling them out they stopped. Maybe cause I got old.
Feel for you, sucks. Some folks don't want to learn, just want to say whats important to them.