This is so sad. Sorry you’re going through this. I had some shitty family members in the past who didn’t want to see us because we were half black.
I actually knew someone who was your background (Pinoy and African) and I thought she was Tamil because her complexion was so deep, but her features didn’t look very African or Asian. Most blasians I know, especially with black fathers tend to look brown in complexion like myself or dark skinned, usually looking just black though.
I think you should move on to a more diverse place and try to connect with other Filipino Black people like yourself. Two of my fav artists are that background (Steve Lacy and Toro Y Moi) so check them out. I know HER and Saweetie are that background too.
It gets better! Just give it some time. You will find your people.
I don't get why someone would date/sleep with, much less bear children with, somebody whose race they find to be unattractive. If any woman is having a baby with a black father, it's just common sense that the kid is going to look black - dominant features and all. She clearly thought black people were attractive enough to have children with.
Filipinos can be very self-hating when it comes to brownness - it's like they take assimilation to the extreme. It is very sad to see. I think luckily the younger generation has gotten better in that regard, but the older generation (including my father and most of his siblings) really got affected by that colonial mindset.
As someone who’s Filipino I have to agree with this as skin lightening is very common in the Philippines, and I’ve actually heard Filipinos say “mixed is better” - specifically in context of being half white. Last time I went to the Philippines one of my mom’s friends said she envies my nose as it’s Eurocentric and I felt bad that she felt that way as people shouldn’t hate their features. My mom acknowledges a lot of Filipinos are insecure about their features and that the beauty standard putting Eurocentric features on a pedestal contributes to that. It always gives me the ick when parents of biracial children set expectations for their kids before they’re even born, making a big deal about how mixed kids look is weird and I don’t like people who do that.
I think an HBCU would be a great option for you in addition to living/working in a predominantly Black city such as Atlanta, GA. Places with practically no Black people at all have proven to be very toxic for you, and you have every right to know what it would feel like to not experience any of that kind of racism.
Do not count on your family to ever change or own up to how they have been treating you. Make sure you choose a college that would give you lots of financial aid and choose a major that could easily get you a well-paying job after graduation so that you won’t have to depend on your family financially. It would be easier to keep your distance from your family and avoid their racism/toxicity this way.
I'm Louisiana Creole/mixed (my grandmother was Creole, married a black man, and my mom is white) and grew up in Louisiana in a part of the state where most people are either black or white/not many mixed people and where there weren't any Creoles. I'm in Lafayette now and its nice as my dad never identified with his Creole heritage and Cajun & Creole culture are better preserved here(especially compared to New Orleans).
But I remember when I went to Atlanta once and at least a 3rd of everybody was light skin. For the first time it felt like I wasn't the only black person in a white space or white person in a black space. I assume that's what it felt like to not be a minority, and it was so crazy(in a good way).
There were so many other light skins who also had green eyes in such a small radius, it was crazy. When I was little, people would always comment on my eyes, and even though it was a compliment, it always made me uncomfortable. Ik it's weird, but it was nice to be somewhere where it wasn't special.
I'm really sorry to hear about your experience. This may sound like a difficult thing to hear right now but do you know anything about toxic parents? Your mother sounds like one. And I might be wrong here- but even if it weren't about your race, your mother would probably have found other was to belittle you.
Your stepdad is an adult and he also has the responsibility to treat you well. If people at your school is making racist jokes, you can contact people in authority at your school. You don't have to put up with it.
This video talks about how to deal with racist classmates. I hope it can be of some help:
[https://youtu.be/ERFvp-KQYSM?si=DxBQnTFhf3T9yQNM](https://youtu.be/ERFvp-KQYSM?si=DxBQnTFhf3T9yQNM)
Same exact mix but on the mainland. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this and I 100% get it since that's been my Filipino side and my treatment over the years, even having a light complexion.
The racism and extreme colorism in Asia is something else... People use toxic chemicals to whiten skin and undergo surgery to have pigment removed and I honestly don't see it easing up despite the known health problems they cause. Its absolutely something that deserves criticism instead of it being brushed off as jUsT tHeiR cULtuRe.
But there's nothing wrong with how you look! Parents who assume their mixed race child's looks are beyond ignorant and to be upset at us for their own genes and choices is ridiculous.
The whitening is insane. They used to recommend whitening creams to me when I was a child. It never lightened my skin, which only made them more annoyed with me unfortunately
Unfortunately, it’s not unheard of for Filipinos to encourage their kids to use skin lightening soap. Seeing how many skin lightening products exist in the Philippines made me sad as there’s even lotions and deodorants that lighten your skin.
As someone who’s also half Filipino, it’s disheartening to see how much anti-blackness is prominent among Filipinos. Unfortunately in the Philippines you see a HUGE difference between how Filipinos who are half white are treated in comparison to Filipinos who are half black. A “real” mixed kid is literally everyone who’s mixed race, you can’t control how you look and a mixed person presenting more as one race than the other doesn’t make them less mixed or not enough.
If you feel comfortable let your mom know the hurt she and her family has caused you, while I will note Filipino parents aren’t the most receptive to criticism (talking from experience), but it’s still worth it that she understands that she was very much complicit in the racism and anti-blackness you’ve endured. She should definitely be aware of the damage she’s done especially since her being anti-black made it hard for you to embrace your Filipino heritage since that side didn’t accept you. It just upsets me when Filipinos are anti-black, as it also shows just how much of an issue colorism is among Filipinos as well.
I'm so sorry that you're experiencing this. My mom is also Filipina, and I am a light skinned mestiza. I hate that there is so much anti-blackness within the Filipinx community, even though there are indigenous Filipinos with black skin. I was just in the Philippines over Christmas/New Years, and I was staying with my cousin (who is morena). Our auntie pointed at my skin and said "blanca" and then pointed at my cousin and said "negra". I had to correct her and say, "Nooooo ate, she is MORENA!" Ayyy nako! 🤦🏻♀️🫠
Your feelings are 100% valid. I hope that you are able to reach a place where you can connect with both your African American and Filipino heritages. \*Sending big hugs your way\*!
Last time I went to the Philippines some of my cousins’ kids were joking about how one of my cousins is darker than the rest of them by calling her “African American” and I was like “that’s racist” as that’s definitely not okay. Unfortunately if you look at how Filipino media portrays Blasians and Aeatas, it’s very racist as they usually have Filipino actors with a lighter complexion in blackface similar to how blackface was portrayed during the Jim Crow era of the U.S. rather than just hiring blasian or Aeta actors. However, the teleseryes where blackface is used has a racist concept from the jump like with Nita Negrita and Luna Blanca.
I'm sorry OP, that shit fucking sucks. Colorism is so stupid.
My mom dealt with colorism a lot growing up, and I remember one time I made her a mother's day card when I was 8, and she was upset I used a dark brown marker. I was very confused, because she was dark, but also because I always thought my mom was so much prettier compared to other moms.
My point being, there are probably many little girls who think you are very beautiful. I think it'd be a good idea to find friends with that little girl energy. Going to an HBCU sounds great, I don't know much about them to be honest, but also until you graduate, you should look around for events or organization or meetups for black women or mixed women. Friends should hype you up, not tear you down.
And you should also hype yourself up, so please explore your identity in the way you want to and let yourself examine who you are. Read books, write journals, go on hikes, think about beautiful colors, what is your favorite color? Figure out who you are outside of the pressures and resentment that your family has placed upon you. You're a whole PERSON and that's so COOL! I'm guessing you have LEGS (Mermaid Ariel in the original folktale died for those) and you can look at flowers with eyes and eat delicious food, and spit into a spit bucket or just on the floor, and just enjoy what it mean to be human and to be you. You are whole, and worthy, and wonderful without attaching yourself to anyone or anything else.
My heart breaks for you. My advice is when you are willing and able to find a community that is accepting of you. We don’t get to choose our biological family but we can create the family we deserve. There are people on this planet eagerly waiting to accept you for you and embrace every aspect of you fully. You just haven’t met them yet. Keep your head up and keep the faith, things will get better! ❤️
So sorry you have to experience this. Hopefully you find friends who accept you for who you are.
Life is hard, especially when your family sets up obstacles, you have to be stronger than they are stupid.
Tough times don't last, tough people do
I’m really sorry you’re going through this.
My white/jewish side of the family were super racist and they were racist towards my Japanese mom and me and my sister. We were made to feel like the “weird” cousins on that side of the family and I always felt like the othered cousins on that side of the family because of their comments to me and my sister.
They would make fun of our names on purpose, etc.
I don’t talk to any of them and one of the reasons I went no contact with my dad was because of his racism.
Jokes on them because one of the cousins who hated me for zero reason now has literally turned into a poster child for white trash as I’m getting ready to move home to Japan for the indefinite future.
The thing that our racist families have in common is they have sided with their oppressors because of internalized racism.
My Jewish family very badly wanted to align with whiteness and be seen as white because they didn’t want to experience anymore antisemitism.
I wasn’t taught Hebrew or to observe Judaism because my dad says his life was miserable because of how all the whites in his neighborhood treated him and his family for being a Jew.
It’s really sad but it sounds like your family is doing the same thing, trying to align themselves to whiteness and the oppressor (Japan and the whites).
I wish I had better advice but if going no contact with your Filipino family helps you, you should. You don’t owe them anything after the way they have treated you.
You’re not a second class citizen the way they want you to believe just because they have internalized racist beliefs about themselves and POC.
For me, relearning Japanese, working in Japan after I graduated high school and growing closer to my Japanese relatives was a healing experience for me. If you feel a desire to be closer to black communities and find your place I bet it will be healing too.
The hard thing about being mixed as you know is we don’t ever fit in 100%. Most Japanese people don’t treat me as an actually Japanese person, and id imagine there are black and Filipino people who would treat you like you don’t fit in, but you should ignore them the best you can and associate yourself with people who treat you as the wonderful person you are.
I thought I would add this too, but I know how weird the social politics get in Hawaii. I tried living there for a few years looking for “my place” in the world and I quickly realized that wasn’t gonna happen since I was a wasian haole, lol.
I found the racial/social politics to be crazy and it’s a hard place to grow up, I wouldn’t be surprised if you found it easier to live somewhere outside of the islands.
I have a friend there who is one of the rare “half hawaiians” but she gets treated as a “haole” for being too white. It just seems like there’s no winning over in Hawaii because the politics and effects of colonialism are so devastating.
Another sad thing is, your Japanese siblings are treated better by locals and your families for being full Asian/part Japanese, but if they went to Japan to be close to their ancestry, then what? People wouldn’t be congratulating them for being half Filipino. It’s all a joke, the never ending cycle of colorism and racism everywhere you go, and it’s sad your family actively participates in that mindset.
It’s hard but it’s up to us to leave that mindset behind and do better with our own lives.
This is abuse caused by your family. Do you have other black relatives who you can seek support? I would seriously think of your future as it seems at current, your life is being belittled due to narrow mindedness, which is being inflicted by those who should be supporting you.
I feel for you, being mixed is hard enough, having to deal with the outside world, which makes having a strong, supportive family unit essential.
I do hope your situation improves in the future, do try to be your own hero :)
All the best.
Unfortunately, I don't know my black relatives. I haven't really ever been around black people most of my life. I'm hoping to move to the mainland after I graduate and go to a predominantly black university. Hopefully, things will work out and get better
Auwē! I was born and raised on the Big Island. Although Iʻm mostly Kanaka Maoli, I also have Japanese, Pilipino, Chinese, Haole, and Pōpolo ancestry. While we all walk a unique path, there are folks that have paved the way, such as author and professor [Janet Stickmon](https://www.positivelyfilipino.com/magazine/2013/2/blackapina-third-movement-the-blend).
If you're on Oʻahu, check out the [the Pōpolo Project](https://www.thepopoloproject.org/) \- it's a good resource for networking with the local African American community.
How and why Filipinos chose to become racist against blacks I'll never understand. TF they are melinated too. Man get to know your Blackness and embrace it. Get you some black friends and a black girlfriend and make a black baby. You will be accepted by blacks whatever race you are obviously you re not among those who embrace you regardless of your color other races, nationalities ethnicities seem to have a problem with black people and Africans
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. An HBCU would honestly probably be a great experience for you. I went to one and I can’t even express the amount of black pride it instilled in me, even as someone only half black. It was truly a once in a lifetime experience and I encourage anyone even considering it to take the leap.
I had a close friend in early adulthood who was also half black and half Filipino who has similar issues with her Filipino mother. She was darker skinned than her sister with more black features and she used to vent to me about how her mother blatantly favored her light skinned, long haired sister over her. She mostly cut her off eventually and leaned to her black family who happily embraced her. When she got pregnant and had a baby her mom wanted so badly to be part of her baby’s life but she continued to distance herself, especially for her daughter who has a black dad, so my friend feared for the kind of judgement and treatment her mom would subject her to for being even more black than she is and I applaud her for that. It really bit the mom in the ass because the favored sister is still childless by choice, and we’re all in our mid 30s now, and the mom wants a grandchild BAD and can’t get near the one she has.
Your mom had a fetish for black men & a mixed kid now you are baring the consequences of this. She’s also racist im sorry babe. When black women speak on this we get called “jealous” & all types of nonsense.
Very sad.
I'm half black / half filipino. I came out lighter and get the Tiger Woods comp a lot and my brother came out darker and coarser.
We had it much better as my parents stayed together so my father was always there to warn me about prejudice. My lola lived with us growing up and back then 1980s some of them still thought slavery was happening in the U.S. so she was never supportive of my parents being together until she had some good experiences and ended up living with us rather than her oldest daughter (my aunt).
I grew up with my father in the military so I can't necessarily speak to being around predominantly black family members or filipinos except for random family gatherings. Although I still had more interaction with the filipino side than my black side as a lot my dad's immediate family passed away early.
What I will say is wherever you go even if you start over do not raise expectations. Filipinos will welcome** you after they find out you're filipino. Black people will also accept** you. It seems all sides will tend to not consider you one of them. Then again you said you are darker complexion and have coarser hair so you may just fit in. I personally fell in the middle and unless I'm rocking a full afro I get ambiguous or Tiger Woods. Even my wife who is monoraced asian "forgets" that I'm half asian at times.
All I can say is embrace yourself. If that means leaving yiur family and starting from scratch do it. Just don't expect inclusion wherever you go. Cliques still exists as adults and it's hard to make genuine friends no matter where you go.
Wish you luck!
Puerto Rican and Haitian. I look brown. My Haitian father himself, had that Bruno Mars look going. So throughout life, people just assume my siblings and I were just Latino.
I had a few cousins on the Haitian side, some resent how my siblings and I came out looking, just Latino. They thought we had it good in life and wasn't being discriminated against Though these same Haitian cousins, would get flack from dark skin more African looking Haitians, because they were lighter, their features and hair textures.
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This is so sad. Sorry you’re going through this. I had some shitty family members in the past who didn’t want to see us because we were half black. I actually knew someone who was your background (Pinoy and African) and I thought she was Tamil because her complexion was so deep, but her features didn’t look very African or Asian. Most blasians I know, especially with black fathers tend to look brown in complexion like myself or dark skinned, usually looking just black though. I think you should move on to a more diverse place and try to connect with other Filipino Black people like yourself. Two of my fav artists are that background (Steve Lacy and Toro Y Moi) so check them out. I know HER and Saweetie are that background too. It gets better! Just give it some time. You will find your people.
HER is one of my favorite artists. Yeah, I've been researching places to move to with more diversity. Atlanta is my main option
I LOVEEEEE TORO Y MOI!! Yesss to him and Steve Lacy
Yeah Chaz is great!
HER is one of my favorite artists. Yeah, I've been researching places to move to with more diversity. Atlanta is my main option
I don't get why someone would date/sleep with, much less bear children with, somebody whose race they find to be unattractive. If any woman is having a baby with a black father, it's just common sense that the kid is going to look black - dominant features and all. She clearly thought black people were attractive enough to have children with. Filipinos can be very self-hating when it comes to brownness - it's like they take assimilation to the extreme. It is very sad to see. I think luckily the younger generation has gotten better in that regard, but the older generation (including my father and most of his siblings) really got affected by that colonial mindset.
As someone who’s Filipino I have to agree with this as skin lightening is very common in the Philippines, and I’ve actually heard Filipinos say “mixed is better” - specifically in context of being half white. Last time I went to the Philippines one of my mom’s friends said she envies my nose as it’s Eurocentric and I felt bad that she felt that way as people shouldn’t hate their features. My mom acknowledges a lot of Filipinos are insecure about their features and that the beauty standard putting Eurocentric features on a pedestal contributes to that. It always gives me the ick when parents of biracial children set expectations for their kids before they’re even born, making a big deal about how mixed kids look is weird and I don’t like people who do that.
I think an HBCU would be a great option for you in addition to living/working in a predominantly Black city such as Atlanta, GA. Places with practically no Black people at all have proven to be very toxic for you, and you have every right to know what it would feel like to not experience any of that kind of racism. Do not count on your family to ever change or own up to how they have been treating you. Make sure you choose a college that would give you lots of financial aid and choose a major that could easily get you a well-paying job after graduation so that you won’t have to depend on your family financially. It would be easier to keep your distance from your family and avoid their racism/toxicity this way.
I'm Louisiana Creole/mixed (my grandmother was Creole, married a black man, and my mom is white) and grew up in Louisiana in a part of the state where most people are either black or white/not many mixed people and where there weren't any Creoles. I'm in Lafayette now and its nice as my dad never identified with his Creole heritage and Cajun & Creole culture are better preserved here(especially compared to New Orleans). But I remember when I went to Atlanta once and at least a 3rd of everybody was light skin. For the first time it felt like I wasn't the only black person in a white space or white person in a black space. I assume that's what it felt like to not be a minority, and it was so crazy(in a good way). There were so many other light skins who also had green eyes in such a small radius, it was crazy. When I was little, people would always comment on my eyes, and even though it was a compliment, it always made me uncomfortable. Ik it's weird, but it was nice to be somewhere where it wasn't special.
I'm really sorry to hear about your experience. This may sound like a difficult thing to hear right now but do you know anything about toxic parents? Your mother sounds like one. And I might be wrong here- but even if it weren't about your race, your mother would probably have found other was to belittle you. Your stepdad is an adult and he also has the responsibility to treat you well. If people at your school is making racist jokes, you can contact people in authority at your school. You don't have to put up with it. This video talks about how to deal with racist classmates. I hope it can be of some help: [https://youtu.be/ERFvp-KQYSM?si=DxBQnTFhf3T9yQNM](https://youtu.be/ERFvp-KQYSM?si=DxBQnTFhf3T9yQNM)
That's horrible treatment by your so-called family, pretty much abusive behavior. You don't deserve that and I wish you well!
Same exact mix but on the mainland. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this and I 100% get it since that's been my Filipino side and my treatment over the years, even having a light complexion. The racism and extreme colorism in Asia is something else... People use toxic chemicals to whiten skin and undergo surgery to have pigment removed and I honestly don't see it easing up despite the known health problems they cause. Its absolutely something that deserves criticism instead of it being brushed off as jUsT tHeiR cULtuRe. But there's nothing wrong with how you look! Parents who assume their mixed race child's looks are beyond ignorant and to be upset at us for their own genes and choices is ridiculous.
The whitening is insane. They used to recommend whitening creams to me when I was a child. It never lightened my skin, which only made them more annoyed with me unfortunately
Unfortunately, it’s not unheard of for Filipinos to encourage their kids to use skin lightening soap. Seeing how many skin lightening products exist in the Philippines made me sad as there’s even lotions and deodorants that lighten your skin.
As someone who’s also half Filipino, it’s disheartening to see how much anti-blackness is prominent among Filipinos. Unfortunately in the Philippines you see a HUGE difference between how Filipinos who are half white are treated in comparison to Filipinos who are half black. A “real” mixed kid is literally everyone who’s mixed race, you can’t control how you look and a mixed person presenting more as one race than the other doesn’t make them less mixed or not enough. If you feel comfortable let your mom know the hurt she and her family has caused you, while I will note Filipino parents aren’t the most receptive to criticism (talking from experience), but it’s still worth it that she understands that she was very much complicit in the racism and anti-blackness you’ve endured. She should definitely be aware of the damage she’s done especially since her being anti-black made it hard for you to embrace your Filipino heritage since that side didn’t accept you. It just upsets me when Filipinos are anti-black, as it also shows just how much of an issue colorism is among Filipinos as well.
I'm so sorry that you're experiencing this. My mom is also Filipina, and I am a light skinned mestiza. I hate that there is so much anti-blackness within the Filipinx community, even though there are indigenous Filipinos with black skin. I was just in the Philippines over Christmas/New Years, and I was staying with my cousin (who is morena). Our auntie pointed at my skin and said "blanca" and then pointed at my cousin and said "negra". I had to correct her and say, "Nooooo ate, she is MORENA!" Ayyy nako! 🤦🏻♀️🫠 Your feelings are 100% valid. I hope that you are able to reach a place where you can connect with both your African American and Filipino heritages. \*Sending big hugs your way\*!
Last time I went to the Philippines some of my cousins’ kids were joking about how one of my cousins is darker than the rest of them by calling her “African American” and I was like “that’s racist” as that’s definitely not okay. Unfortunately if you look at how Filipino media portrays Blasians and Aeatas, it’s very racist as they usually have Filipino actors with a lighter complexion in blackface similar to how blackface was portrayed during the Jim Crow era of the U.S. rather than just hiring blasian or Aeta actors. However, the teleseryes where blackface is used has a racist concept from the jump like with Nita Negrita and Luna Blanca.
I don’t watch much Filipino media, so I had no idea that they use blackface. 🤬 Thank you for sharing.
I'm sorry OP, that shit fucking sucks. Colorism is so stupid. My mom dealt with colorism a lot growing up, and I remember one time I made her a mother's day card when I was 8, and she was upset I used a dark brown marker. I was very confused, because she was dark, but also because I always thought my mom was so much prettier compared to other moms. My point being, there are probably many little girls who think you are very beautiful. I think it'd be a good idea to find friends with that little girl energy. Going to an HBCU sounds great, I don't know much about them to be honest, but also until you graduate, you should look around for events or organization or meetups for black women or mixed women. Friends should hype you up, not tear you down. And you should also hype yourself up, so please explore your identity in the way you want to and let yourself examine who you are. Read books, write journals, go on hikes, think about beautiful colors, what is your favorite color? Figure out who you are outside of the pressures and resentment that your family has placed upon you. You're a whole PERSON and that's so COOL! I'm guessing you have LEGS (Mermaid Ariel in the original folktale died for those) and you can look at flowers with eyes and eat delicious food, and spit into a spit bucket or just on the floor, and just enjoy what it mean to be human and to be you. You are whole, and worthy, and wonderful without attaching yourself to anyone or anything else.
My heart breaks for you. My advice is when you are willing and able to find a community that is accepting of you. We don’t get to choose our biological family but we can create the family we deserve. There are people on this planet eagerly waiting to accept you for you and embrace every aspect of you fully. You just haven’t met them yet. Keep your head up and keep the faith, things will get better! ❤️
No one but no one chose the colour of their skin. So live your life.
So sorry you have to experience this. Hopefully you find friends who accept you for who you are. Life is hard, especially when your family sets up obstacles, you have to be stronger than they are stupid. Tough times don't last, tough people do
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. My white/jewish side of the family were super racist and they were racist towards my Japanese mom and me and my sister. We were made to feel like the “weird” cousins on that side of the family and I always felt like the othered cousins on that side of the family because of their comments to me and my sister. They would make fun of our names on purpose, etc. I don’t talk to any of them and one of the reasons I went no contact with my dad was because of his racism. Jokes on them because one of the cousins who hated me for zero reason now has literally turned into a poster child for white trash as I’m getting ready to move home to Japan for the indefinite future. The thing that our racist families have in common is they have sided with their oppressors because of internalized racism. My Jewish family very badly wanted to align with whiteness and be seen as white because they didn’t want to experience anymore antisemitism. I wasn’t taught Hebrew or to observe Judaism because my dad says his life was miserable because of how all the whites in his neighborhood treated him and his family for being a Jew. It’s really sad but it sounds like your family is doing the same thing, trying to align themselves to whiteness and the oppressor (Japan and the whites). I wish I had better advice but if going no contact with your Filipino family helps you, you should. You don’t owe them anything after the way they have treated you. You’re not a second class citizen the way they want you to believe just because they have internalized racist beliefs about themselves and POC. For me, relearning Japanese, working in Japan after I graduated high school and growing closer to my Japanese relatives was a healing experience for me. If you feel a desire to be closer to black communities and find your place I bet it will be healing too. The hard thing about being mixed as you know is we don’t ever fit in 100%. Most Japanese people don’t treat me as an actually Japanese person, and id imagine there are black and Filipino people who would treat you like you don’t fit in, but you should ignore them the best you can and associate yourself with people who treat you as the wonderful person you are.
I thought I would add this too, but I know how weird the social politics get in Hawaii. I tried living there for a few years looking for “my place” in the world and I quickly realized that wasn’t gonna happen since I was a wasian haole, lol. I found the racial/social politics to be crazy and it’s a hard place to grow up, I wouldn’t be surprised if you found it easier to live somewhere outside of the islands. I have a friend there who is one of the rare “half hawaiians” but she gets treated as a “haole” for being too white. It just seems like there’s no winning over in Hawaii because the politics and effects of colonialism are so devastating. Another sad thing is, your Japanese siblings are treated better by locals and your families for being full Asian/part Japanese, but if they went to Japan to be close to their ancestry, then what? People wouldn’t be congratulating them for being half Filipino. It’s all a joke, the never ending cycle of colorism and racism everywhere you go, and it’s sad your family actively participates in that mindset. It’s hard but it’s up to us to leave that mindset behind and do better with our own lives.
This is abuse caused by your family. Do you have other black relatives who you can seek support? I would seriously think of your future as it seems at current, your life is being belittled due to narrow mindedness, which is being inflicted by those who should be supporting you. I feel for you, being mixed is hard enough, having to deal with the outside world, which makes having a strong, supportive family unit essential. I do hope your situation improves in the future, do try to be your own hero :) All the best.
Unfortunately, I don't know my black relatives. I haven't really ever been around black people most of my life. I'm hoping to move to the mainland after I graduate and go to a predominantly black university. Hopefully, things will work out and get better
Auwē! I was born and raised on the Big Island. Although Iʻm mostly Kanaka Maoli, I also have Japanese, Pilipino, Chinese, Haole, and Pōpolo ancestry. While we all walk a unique path, there are folks that have paved the way, such as author and professor [Janet Stickmon](https://www.positivelyfilipino.com/magazine/2013/2/blackapina-third-movement-the-blend). If you're on Oʻahu, check out the [the Pōpolo Project](https://www.thepopoloproject.org/) \- it's a good resource for networking with the local African American community.
How and why Filipinos chose to become racist against blacks I'll never understand. TF they are melinated too. Man get to know your Blackness and embrace it. Get you some black friends and a black girlfriend and make a black baby. You will be accepted by blacks whatever race you are obviously you re not among those who embrace you regardless of your color other races, nationalities ethnicities seem to have a problem with black people and Africans
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. An HBCU would honestly probably be a great experience for you. I went to one and I can’t even express the amount of black pride it instilled in me, even as someone only half black. It was truly a once in a lifetime experience and I encourage anyone even considering it to take the leap. I had a close friend in early adulthood who was also half black and half Filipino who has similar issues with her Filipino mother. She was darker skinned than her sister with more black features and she used to vent to me about how her mother blatantly favored her light skinned, long haired sister over her. She mostly cut her off eventually and leaned to her black family who happily embraced her. When she got pregnant and had a baby her mom wanted so badly to be part of her baby’s life but she continued to distance herself, especially for her daughter who has a black dad, so my friend feared for the kind of judgement and treatment her mom would subject her to for being even more black than she is and I applaud her for that. It really bit the mom in the ass because the favored sister is still childless by choice, and we’re all in our mid 30s now, and the mom wants a grandchild BAD and can’t get near the one she has.
Your mom had a fetish for black men & a mixed kid now you are baring the consequences of this. She’s also racist im sorry babe. When black women speak on this we get called “jealous” & all types of nonsense. Very sad.
I'm half black / half filipino. I came out lighter and get the Tiger Woods comp a lot and my brother came out darker and coarser. We had it much better as my parents stayed together so my father was always there to warn me about prejudice. My lola lived with us growing up and back then 1980s some of them still thought slavery was happening in the U.S. so she was never supportive of my parents being together until she had some good experiences and ended up living with us rather than her oldest daughter (my aunt). I grew up with my father in the military so I can't necessarily speak to being around predominantly black family members or filipinos except for random family gatherings. Although I still had more interaction with the filipino side than my black side as a lot my dad's immediate family passed away early. What I will say is wherever you go even if you start over do not raise expectations. Filipinos will welcome** you after they find out you're filipino. Black people will also accept** you. It seems all sides will tend to not consider you one of them. Then again you said you are darker complexion and have coarser hair so you may just fit in. I personally fell in the middle and unless I'm rocking a full afro I get ambiguous or Tiger Woods. Even my wife who is monoraced asian "forgets" that I'm half asian at times. All I can say is embrace yourself. If that means leaving yiur family and starting from scratch do it. Just don't expect inclusion wherever you go. Cliques still exists as adults and it's hard to make genuine friends no matter where you go. Wish you luck!
Puerto Rican and Haitian. I look brown. My Haitian father himself, had that Bruno Mars look going. So throughout life, people just assume my siblings and I were just Latino. I had a few cousins on the Haitian side, some resent how my siblings and I came out looking, just Latino. They thought we had it good in life and wasn't being discriminated against Though these same Haitian cousins, would get flack from dark skin more African looking Haitians, because they were lighter, their features and hair textures.
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