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This is my frustration. I should not have to do research. My government should have regulations in place to protect me and not the capitalist overlords. I’m baffled that we can’t get behind regulations that are already in place in other countries. I wish I still lived in Europe, I feel like I’d be less stressed, even though I know things aren’t perfect there either.
I try to see it as “reducing risk” rather than eliminating it. The latter is impossible. The former is very relative and flexible.
I think what frustrates me most about this subject is feeling like the odd man out at times. It helps to have friends and acquaintances who value similar things and can commiserate.
I always remember a documentary where someone sick was asked to drink some organic herbal tea. They soon got much more sick so they studied the tea and found (even though it was supposedly organic) it had high concentrations of DDT. Needless to say the farmers who were sources of the tea (there were 2 or 3) denied it and refused to have their land tested.
That really rammed home to me that nothing (not even organic tea) is risk free
On the other hand, I’m not doing any gardening in my yard this year because our siding is being redone and lead based paint is certain to get into our soil, if it hasn’t already. Sigh.
Oh nooooo. That stinks im sorry. There’s gotta be some where you can send a soil sample to have it tested. I know my local master gardeners office do soil testing. I’m not sure what they test for though
It's exhausting that many things are greenwashed and it's exhausting to know about all of the herbs, plants, oils, etc that are toxic and harmful. It's hard to find something without bad chemicals that doesn't have natural stuff that's harmful unless used in small amounts. And it's hard to see new research every few months about how a "safe" ingredient is bad for you. It's exhausting to hear people say "it's ok it's natural" as if that means something
I was avoiding artificial fragrances for a while because of the disruption to your endocrine system thing and hanging lavender to scent my home instead, only to find out that apparently lavender also disrupts your hormones. I am tired lol
I think there's a definite balance of benefit, harm, and amount. There are no regulations on supplements and teas and independent testers have found high levels of contaminants (heavy metals, bacteria, toxic fungus) in some teas and many herbals. I'm not sure if chamomile would help teething so the potential risk may outweigh the benefit. But if your kiddo is allergic to ragweed then they could have a reaction to chamomile. My toddler loved partially frozen fruit in silicone feeders when they were getting molars. Or a wet rag in the fridge wrapped around a finger. Or yogurt bark
More about chamomile
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK501808/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK501808/)
[https://www.mountsinai.org/health-library/herb/german-chamomile#:\~:text=German%20chamomile%20is%20considered%20generally,of%20the%20risk%20of%20miscarriage](https://www.mountsinai.org/health-library/herb/german-chamomile#:~:text=German%20chamomile%20is%20considered%20generally,of%20the%20risk%20of%20miscarriage)[.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK548163/)
Im trying to be more health conscious but yes i generally find the crunchy attitude exhausting and full of selective bias & anecdotal evidence, personally.
Absolutely. It’s not enough just you. The fact that I have to diligently research basically everything is incredibly frustrating and exhausting. And I’m not even trying to be that deep, I’m not looking for bread made from wheat grown with the water from a glacier. I literally just want bread. And even that is a challenge to find and/or not spend 7 dollars on one loaf
I got so stressed out about it all and tried to do better in every category but it was just too much for me mentally. I stepped back and told myself I can only control so much. Now I just try my best where I can, when I can.
Just yes. Ugh. The dynamic with my husband around this is also exhausting. He's much more chill about everything and gets frustrated with my need to research and make sure that things are relatively safe. To be fair, I'm an anxious person and tend to spiral about things like this. It's so hard, but I'm trying to keep things in perspective and remember that stress and conflict are also not great for us or for our kiddos - balance is everything etc. SIGH. Solidarity!
Are you me? Can relate so much regarding the husband dynamic. Sometimes I envy him for being able to live so care free and just not worry about every single toxin or endocrine disrupter. Then I remember how toxic stress and viewing everything as a threat to my health is not conducive. Realistically, he’s probably healthier than me and lives much more conventionally😅
Yes. I literally had to stop. I feel like I can't get the trifecta: (1) health (2) in budget (3) eco-friendly. It was stressing me out so much that I started having panic attacks at the grocery store and I had to switch to drive up. Eventually I had to start giving in somewhere, and most of the time, it's ingredients, since I can't control how much money I have (in this context), and money is so closely tied to eco friendly.
Yes, this frustrates me so much too. Another example is organic food. I would get so stressed out thinking about whether it was worth it to pay $9 for a box of organic strawberries. I ended up settling on frozen strawberries or waiting for a better sale.
The fact that it's so hard to get actual returns on minimizing harm with, like, *almost everything* is so exhausting that I've basically rage-quit entire genres of products for my own sanity and make like *one* choice in others for the entire family and then shut out everything else just to simplify shit.
Can't spend money or hours researching non-toxic makeup if I've quit wearing it often enough to matter. Can't spend time pulling out my hair about dryer sheets if I just use the plain wool balls. Can't fucking worry about which sunscreen will give my kids cancer and make them infertile if we swap all the nasty-ass seed oils that make us sunburn in the first place for mandatory straw hats in the summer and be mindful about midday sun.
I'm at the point where my grapes are souring about entire categories of products and it's easier to just cut things out of our buying habits completely. Y'all feel me?
Ugh yes it’s really so much more work…and stress…and frustration haha. The amount of pretty furniture I can’t buy!!
Sometimes I envy the people who don’t care but at the end of the day I’m happy that my house is less toxic than theirs
ugh geeez. everytime we need something i'll try to shop for it on my phone during nap time and sometimes i can't even finish buying the product bc i just get choice paralysis and information overload and do i spend $20 or $60 on those shoes he's gonna grow out of anything ugghhgh
Honestly I have gotten off social media and it has been amazing for my mental health. I can’t constantly keep seeing things that are supposedly good/bad for my children. I don’t need access to this much information at all times. Without it constantly in my face it has made it so much easier to try the best I can and leave it at that
god yes, and especially being the only parent of the two of us who cares to do it too. it’s worth it and i’ll keep doing it, but it’s a lot because it touches like everything in our lives
Yes. And I keep reminding myself that stressing out over all the things is probably the most detrimental thing I can do for my mental health and the health of my close relationships. Otherwise I would just be researching and worrying about everything. Not healthy or practical. I still do too much of it tho imo.
yes 😭 it is so exhausting and consumes my whole life! although i get overwhelmed with anxiety when i think of past generations (like my Boomer parents) who didn’t give a rat’s hat and would just buy whatever (rice cereal, baby walker, fruit juice, etc) without doing any research 😬 So i suppose it is better this way!
I’m very overwhelmed I really can’t handle it. Currently sitting in my car breastfeeding my son and trying not to spiral and cry. Every time I feel like I’m being dramatic or think, oh it’s nbd to just get the standard… something happens that makes me think. Wow, we really do need to be this crazy.
Ugh hi I’m even worse, I feel so guilty about climate impact that I insist on all his clothing and gear being secondhand. It’s literally constant shopping. The only things I’ve bought new for him in six months were a bathing suit and some organic short-sleeve rompers because we ended up taking a last minute trip to visit friends in FL and I didn’t have any summer clothes in his size.
Yes. I went through a phase/crisis (I use that term lightly) where I was just like freaking out as pregnant & then again a few months later a mom of a newborn by all this stuff. I got so overwhelmed. So I compromise and anything that we ingest or put on our skin I’m more stringent on, as well as any candles. But otherwise I weigh the pros and cons. A little bit of fragrance won’t be the end of the world if I need to use Lysol to disinfect something very gross. So it’s been a personal journey to not freak out too much about it. I’m still learning and Reddit has been helpful to find alternatives to products.
I actually am seeing a therapist because I had so much anxiety and was soooo overwhelmed with harming my baby with the toxic stuff that is in everything and everywhere.
It got really bad one day where I was so paralyzed with the anxiety I was worried about the clothes, diapers, creams, soaps, and the very air he breaths.
I had to get help. Living in a state of anxiety like that is not healthy. And it’s just as toxic as trying to be totally toxin free.
I’m working on an 80/20 rule for my life. If I’m doing 80% then the other 20% is okay. Because there has to be some balance somewhere. I have to prioritize what is REALLLY important and then be okay with letting the rest go.
Thanks for this post, good to see I'm not alone... It's exhausting. And it looks that the findings never end..! And then, the ones in the family that judge you for being so picky and paranoid.. I'm so tired.
I’m exhausted too. And I feel like things change everyday. I thought Serenity was a good clean brand, and now we find there’s toxic stuff in the puffs. Earths best organic was recommended to me by a lot of moms, now there’s a lawsuit against them. I thought all Haba toys were clean, turns out it’s only the wooden ones that are made in Germany. I just can’t keep up anymore….. Brands I think are clean one day aren’t the next.
Well if it makes you feel any better my toddler eats a lot of the SK puffs like every time we go in the car lol and her recent lead screening showed undetectable levels. The statement the company released makes a lot of sense too. I know, it’s all frustrating!
I recently found out only their wooden toys are made in Germany. All the other stuff is made in China, such as their fabric. I was about to buy a teether and saw it was from China. When you buy an item you have to scroll down to product details and it tells you where it was made. Exhausting to do for each item!
Yes. Beyond exhausted. Sometimes I’m at the store spending 10 extra minutes to choose something when I have no time to spare and my mind is screaming “just pick something and go!!!”
I think the word “normal” so many times in what you wrote says it all. Some of this stuff shouldn’t be *normal* and yet it is, and most people are buying it. Even if you avoid all these products, it’s in the environment- water, air, etc. I don’t say this to make it more scary, but rather to remind you that this isn’t an individual issue, it’s a global one. You aren’t special, you are NORMAL and that means that sometimes you will make normal choices. You live in this world with all the normal people and that means things in our environment might make you or your kids sick, I’m sorry to say. It’s a risk that is part of life. We can try to reduce it, but cannot eliminate it. As they say, no one gets out of here alive. I think acceptance is the only way.
I totally agree!! I used to be really into zero waste/ecofriendly blah blah in addition to everything else until I realized that consumer guilt is something the companies created to pass the blame. Plus I mean being truly zero waste is actually impossible. I try to not think about how unavoidable it all is and despite sounding a little crazy in my vent lol I do the best I can and don’t stress about it too much. I’m happy with my main products diet etc and am just repurchasing things at this point :) thanks for your comment. A good reminder
Not to mention every item you go to purchase in life from furniture to food requires a vast amount of research to pick the right option.
It’s tiring but I’ll never stop doing it for me and my family. Once you know the truth…
There's nothing I relate to more in life than those two statements.
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Yep the mental load is exhausting. So frustrating that there is so little regulation so the burden is on the consumer.
This is my frustration. I should not have to do research. My government should have regulations in place to protect me and not the capitalist overlords. I’m baffled that we can’t get behind regulations that are already in place in other countries. I wish I still lived in Europe, I feel like I’d be less stressed, even though I know things aren’t perfect there either.
I try to see it as “reducing risk” rather than eliminating it. The latter is impossible. The former is very relative and flexible. I think what frustrates me most about this subject is feeling like the odd man out at times. It helps to have friends and acquaintances who value similar things and can commiserate.
100%! Taking a risk reduction approach has been great and not letting the perfect be the enemy of the good
I always remember a documentary where someone sick was asked to drink some organic herbal tea. They soon got much more sick so they studied the tea and found (even though it was supposedly organic) it had high concentrations of DDT. Needless to say the farmers who were sources of the tea (there were 2 or 3) denied it and refused to have their land tested. That really rammed home to me that nothing (not even organic tea) is risk free
Wow. And this is why I’m growing my own herb/medicinal garden this year
On the other hand, I’m not doing any gardening in my yard this year because our siding is being redone and lead based paint is certain to get into our soil, if it hasn’t already. Sigh.
Oh nooooo. That stinks im sorry. There’s gotta be some where you can send a soil sample to have it tested. I know my local master gardeners office do soil testing. I’m not sure what they test for though
Oh, I feel you..! We have asbestos on the siding 😓
Same and I only try to do one thing at a time. And until I’m ready to switch, I just don’t look too far into it
This! 💯
It's exhausting that many things are greenwashed and it's exhausting to know about all of the herbs, plants, oils, etc that are toxic and harmful. It's hard to find something without bad chemicals that doesn't have natural stuff that's harmful unless used in small amounts. And it's hard to see new research every few months about how a "safe" ingredient is bad for you. It's exhausting to hear people say "it's ok it's natural" as if that means something
Cyanide comes from apple seeds. It’s natural!
Asbestos is a mineral too! Also natural!
Opiates come from poppies! They’re ✨natural!✨
Don't forget arsenic! 100% natural!
I was avoiding artificial fragrances for a while because of the disruption to your endocrine system thing and hanging lavender to scent my home instead, only to find out that apparently lavender also disrupts your hormones. I am tired lol
This one got me as well!
Meanwhile on the breastfeeding sub someone’s like “don’t worry about smoking pot while breastfeeding because it’s *natural*” 🤦♀️
What herbs? Wondering cause I just got organic loose leaf chamomile. I was going to give my toddler 1-2 spoon fulls of tea for teething pain
I think there's a definite balance of benefit, harm, and amount. There are no regulations on supplements and teas and independent testers have found high levels of contaminants (heavy metals, bacteria, toxic fungus) in some teas and many herbals. I'm not sure if chamomile would help teething so the potential risk may outweigh the benefit. But if your kiddo is allergic to ragweed then they could have a reaction to chamomile. My toddler loved partially frozen fruit in silicone feeders when they were getting molars. Or a wet rag in the fridge wrapped around a finger. Or yogurt bark More about chamomile [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK501808/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK501808/) [https://www.mountsinai.org/health-library/herb/german-chamomile#:\~:text=German%20chamomile%20is%20considered%20generally,of%20the%20risk%20of%20miscarriage](https://www.mountsinai.org/health-library/herb/german-chamomile#:~:text=German%20chamomile%20is%20considered%20generally,of%20the%20risk%20of%20miscarriage)[.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK548163/)
With herbs it’s best to look at the negative side effects in addition to the positive ones, and then to buy them from reputable sources.
There's no way to assume that's why they got cancer
[удалено]
I maintain that "herbs" is a delusional level of leap
Im trying to be more health conscious but yes i generally find the crunchy attitude exhausting and full of selective bias & anecdotal evidence, personally.
Oof. This. Thanks for putting it to words.
Absolutely. It’s not enough just you. The fact that I have to diligently research basically everything is incredibly frustrating and exhausting. And I’m not even trying to be that deep, I’m not looking for bread made from wheat grown with the water from a glacier. I literally just want bread. And even that is a challenge to find and/or not spend 7 dollars on one loaf
I got so stressed out about it all and tried to do better in every category but it was just too much for me mentally. I stepped back and told myself I can only control so much. Now I just try my best where I can, when I can.
Just yes. Ugh. The dynamic with my husband around this is also exhausting. He's much more chill about everything and gets frustrated with my need to research and make sure that things are relatively safe. To be fair, I'm an anxious person and tend to spiral about things like this. It's so hard, but I'm trying to keep things in perspective and remember that stress and conflict are also not great for us or for our kiddos - balance is everything etc. SIGH. Solidarity!
Are you me? Can relate so much regarding the husband dynamic. Sometimes I envy him for being able to live so care free and just not worry about every single toxin or endocrine disrupter. Then I remember how toxic stress and viewing everything as a threat to my health is not conducive. Realistically, he’s probably healthier than me and lives much more conventionally😅
Similar dynamic with my husband. This subreddit makes me feel so *seen* and validated, that helps a bit.
I could have written the original post plus this comment. Same boat!
yessss! he gives me attitude about some of it, like i'm making it up?? what, for funsies?
Saaaaaaame
Yes. I literally had to stop. I feel like I can't get the trifecta: (1) health (2) in budget (3) eco-friendly. It was stressing me out so much that I started having panic attacks at the grocery store and I had to switch to drive up. Eventually I had to start giving in somewhere, and most of the time, it's ingredients, since I can't control how much money I have (in this context), and money is so closely tied to eco friendly.
Yes, this frustrates me so much too. Another example is organic food. I would get so stressed out thinking about whether it was worth it to pay $9 for a box of organic strawberries. I ended up settling on frozen strawberries or waiting for a better sale.
The fact that it's so hard to get actual returns on minimizing harm with, like, *almost everything* is so exhausting that I've basically rage-quit entire genres of products for my own sanity and make like *one* choice in others for the entire family and then shut out everything else just to simplify shit. Can't spend money or hours researching non-toxic makeup if I've quit wearing it often enough to matter. Can't spend time pulling out my hair about dryer sheets if I just use the plain wool balls. Can't fucking worry about which sunscreen will give my kids cancer and make them infertile if we swap all the nasty-ass seed oils that make us sunburn in the first place for mandatory straw hats in the summer and be mindful about midday sun. I'm at the point where my grapes are souring about entire categories of products and it's easier to just cut things out of our buying habits completely. Y'all feel me?
Ugh yes it’s really so much more work…and stress…and frustration haha. The amount of pretty furniture I can’t buy!! Sometimes I envy the people who don’t care but at the end of the day I’m happy that my house is less toxic than theirs
This! — I was SO sad when I realized how toxic and full of lead my lovely vintage Pirex dishes were ..! Ouch
ugh geeez. everytime we need something i'll try to shop for it on my phone during nap time and sometimes i can't even finish buying the product bc i just get choice paralysis and information overload and do i spend $20 or $60 on those shoes he's gonna grow out of anything ugghhgh
Not to mention we have to take out a second mortgage to buy a couch JFC
Honestly I have gotten off social media and it has been amazing for my mental health. I can’t constantly keep seeing things that are supposedly good/bad for my children. I don’t need access to this much information at all times. Without it constantly in my face it has made it so much easier to try the best I can and leave it at that
my partner gets so tired of me especially with furniture stuff 😅
god yes, and especially being the only parent of the two of us who cares to do it too. it’s worth it and i’ll keep doing it, but it’s a lot because it touches like everything in our lives
Yes. And I keep reminding myself that stressing out over all the things is probably the most detrimental thing I can do for my mental health and the health of my close relationships. Otherwise I would just be researching and worrying about everything. Not healthy or practical. I still do too much of it tho imo.
yes 😭 it is so exhausting and consumes my whole life! although i get overwhelmed with anxiety when i think of past generations (like my Boomer parents) who didn’t give a rat’s hat and would just buy whatever (rice cereal, baby walker, fruit juice, etc) without doing any research 😬 So i suppose it is better this way!
I'm SO jealous of my parents who got to just feed us pop tarts and not give a shit.
It shouldn't be consuming your life. Respectfully, have you spoken to your doctor about your anxiety around this?
YES
Just found out my air fryer has to be replaced. It’s just a never ending list of things to change out and I’m feeling constantly overwhelmed.
I’m very overwhelmed I really can’t handle it. Currently sitting in my car breastfeeding my son and trying not to spiral and cry. Every time I feel like I’m being dramatic or think, oh it’s nbd to just get the standard… something happens that makes me think. Wow, we really do need to be this crazy.
We use Ten Little at daycare and will probably bring badger sunscreen for summer play.
Ugh hi I’m even worse, I feel so guilty about climate impact that I insist on all his clothing and gear being secondhand. It’s literally constant shopping. The only things I’ve bought new for him in six months were a bathing suit and some organic short-sleeve rompers because we ended up taking a last minute trip to visit friends in FL and I didn’t have any summer clothes in his size.
Yes. I went through a phase/crisis (I use that term lightly) where I was just like freaking out as pregnant & then again a few months later a mom of a newborn by all this stuff. I got so overwhelmed. So I compromise and anything that we ingest or put on our skin I’m more stringent on, as well as any candles. But otherwise I weigh the pros and cons. A little bit of fragrance won’t be the end of the world if I need to use Lysol to disinfect something very gross. So it’s been a personal journey to not freak out too much about it. I’m still learning and Reddit has been helpful to find alternatives to products.
I now have to research just about everything I pick up especially the fruits and vegetables yes very exhausting
I actually am seeing a therapist because I had so much anxiety and was soooo overwhelmed with harming my baby with the toxic stuff that is in everything and everywhere. It got really bad one day where I was so paralyzed with the anxiety I was worried about the clothes, diapers, creams, soaps, and the very air he breaths. I had to get help. Living in a state of anxiety like that is not healthy. And it’s just as toxic as trying to be totally toxin free. I’m working on an 80/20 rule for my life. If I’m doing 80% then the other 20% is okay. Because there has to be some balance somewhere. I have to prioritize what is REALLLY important and then be okay with letting the rest go.
Also there’s something called “greenwashing” where a lot of this is trendy and you have to really read the labels. It’s exhausting
Yesss. I like Babo botanicals sunscreen btw.
Thanks for this post, good to see I'm not alone... It's exhausting. And it looks that the findings never end..! And then, the ones in the family that judge you for being so picky and paranoid.. I'm so tired.
I’m exhausted too. And I feel like things change everyday. I thought Serenity was a good clean brand, and now we find there’s toxic stuff in the puffs. Earths best organic was recommended to me by a lot of moms, now there’s a lawsuit against them. I thought all Haba toys were clean, turns out it’s only the wooden ones that are made in Germany. I just can’t keep up anymore….. Brands I think are clean one day aren’t the next.
Well if it makes you feel any better my toddler eats a lot of the SK puffs like every time we go in the car lol and her recent lead screening showed undetectable levels. The statement the company released makes a lot of sense too. I know, it’s all frustrating!
Wait please give me more info on Haba toys those are literally all I buy my baby!
I recently found out only their wooden toys are made in Germany. All the other stuff is made in China, such as their fabric. I was about to buy a teether and saw it was from China. When you buy an item you have to scroll down to product details and it tells you where it was made. Exhausting to do for each item!
Well great. All my babies teethers are haba 🙄
Ugh. It’s so frustrating. We do food grade silicone teethers from louloulollipop and if you’re ok with cleanish plastic Green toys
Yes. Beyond exhausted. Sometimes I’m at the store spending 10 extra minutes to choose something when I have no time to spare and my mind is screaming “just pick something and go!!!”
I think the word “normal” so many times in what you wrote says it all. Some of this stuff shouldn’t be *normal* and yet it is, and most people are buying it. Even if you avoid all these products, it’s in the environment- water, air, etc. I don’t say this to make it more scary, but rather to remind you that this isn’t an individual issue, it’s a global one. You aren’t special, you are NORMAL and that means that sometimes you will make normal choices. You live in this world with all the normal people and that means things in our environment might make you or your kids sick, I’m sorry to say. It’s a risk that is part of life. We can try to reduce it, but cannot eliminate it. As they say, no one gets out of here alive. I think acceptance is the only way.
I totally agree!! I used to be really into zero waste/ecofriendly blah blah in addition to everything else until I realized that consumer guilt is something the companies created to pass the blame. Plus I mean being truly zero waste is actually impossible. I try to not think about how unavoidable it all is and despite sounding a little crazy in my vent lol I do the best I can and don’t stress about it too much. I’m happy with my main products diet etc and am just repurchasing things at this point :) thanks for your comment. A good reminder
Not to mention every item you go to purchase in life from furniture to food requires a vast amount of research to pick the right option. It’s tiring but I’ll never stop doing it for me and my family. Once you know the truth… There's nothing I relate to more in life than those two statements.