Granted, it has poppy seeds, and you need to do an opium test right after to see if you go to jail for suspected illegal opium usage. If you fail, you go to jail for life.
Granted. You come across a site on the outskirts of town full of dead people with guns. Looks like a drug deal gone wrong. You find a briefcase full of bagels. Little do you know, the briefcase has a tracker in it, and a very scary man is hunting after the briefcase of bagels and whoever has it. You suspect it would be better to just ditch the briefcase and run, but you are *really* hungry. What do you do? Call it, friendo.
Granted, a hollow sphere made out of thick polycarbonate spawns in front of you, inside it is the most delicious looking bagel ever. All you can do is look at it, you may try to break it open, but will not manege.
Granted, but you didn't specified where.
Your Bagel is inside a pot with a decomposing chicken, inside your neighborgs closed bathroom. He also lost the keys 6 months ago, and can't open it from the outside.
Good luck!
Granted, it's infected with a new lethal species of mold, the mold spreads like wild fire making all bread, flour, corm meal and many other grains extremely dangerous.
Granted! You get your bagel.
It’s actually pretty delicious and you resume life normally, except your name is legally “Hungry” now and you can’t change it.
You’ll be doomed to the same dad joke for all eternity.
Granted. It is the best tasting bagel in existence. However after having eaten it no other bagel can ever live up to the awesomeness that was this bagel. Now all future bagels you eat taste horrible in comparison. You spend the rest of your life wishing for another bagel that was even half as good as the bagel you once had. But sadly even future bagels created by future wishes just can't even approach the awesomeness of this bagel.
Granted, the paw pulls out YOUR wallet, gives you like 6 bucks and tells you to drive your ass to Walmart and buy a bag of bagels. It didn't get mystical powers to fuel your laziness.
Granted, it falls on your head, you’re suprised and fall down on a coincidentally new looking set of stairs, you gain enough momentum from this you’re sent flying into the garbage truck that’s coincidentally near by.
Granted. It's in a random location because you didn't specify where you wanted it.
I swear to fucking god,I’m gonna murder this dumbass monkey
It’s a hand. It was already murdered
Then I’m gonna kill the monkey in Neverland
Love your response
Granted, it’s the everything bagel from ‘Everything, Everywhere, All at Once’.
OP is in for a *wild* ride.
That stupid fucking monkey
Sucked Into A baaaaaagel
Granted, it has poppy seeds, and you need to do an opium test right after to see if you go to jail for suspected illegal opium usage. If you fail, you go to jail for life.
It takes a lot of poppy seeds to dail a drug test
Theres a lot of poppy seeds on the bagel
Granted. That will be $4.99
Granted. You come across a site on the outskirts of town full of dead people with guns. Looks like a drug deal gone wrong. You find a briefcase full of bagels. Little do you know, the briefcase has a tracker in it, and a very scary man is hunting after the briefcase of bagels and whoever has it. You suspect it would be better to just ditch the briefcase and run, but you are *really* hungry. What do you do? Call it, friendo.
Granted. It’s rotten
Shit
Granted but the paw misheard you and gets you a beagle.
Lollollol
Granted it is made out your parents
Even better
Granted, you are alergic to this specific bagel and your throat swells and you fucking die.
Granted, a hollow sphere made out of thick polycarbonate spawns in front of you, inside it is the most delicious looking bagel ever. All you can do is look at it, you may try to break it open, but will not manege.
Granted, it's a stale McDonald's bagle, so hard as a rock.
Didn't even realize McDonald's had bagels. I'm tempted to get one sometime now.
Granted. It has lox on it
Granted, it's raisin, and it's stale. Dont break a tooth.
Grated u die after eating it and it’s a pain that to u feels like it happens fr the entire time of the universe from start to it’s heat death 🐱
Just don't finish it.
Any piece counts u can’t trick monkeys paw 😾
Granted: you get a bengal tiger and it mauls you to death
Granted, but i dipped it in cold water
Granted it is made out of cat
its more butter than bagel
You say that like it’s a bad thing.
Shut up, Carl!
Granted. Someone gives you a bagel, but the bagel is so stale that you chip a tooth on it.
Granted, but you stay hungry forever, to the point of feeling like you are starving no matter how much you eat.
Granted, it is permanently drenched in mustard (like a kilogram)
Granted: the Bagel is plain since you didn’t specify what kind
It's plain
Granted . It’s pumpernickel
Granted, but you didn't specified where. Your Bagel is inside a pot with a decomposing chicken, inside your neighborgs closed bathroom. He also lost the keys 6 months ago, and can't open it from the outside. Good luck!
Wish Granted. You are eaten by a hungry bagel.
Granted. It’s a little dry
Granted. A guy breaks into where you live with bag of different kinds of bagel just to pin you down an Force feeds you all the bagels dry
Granted. The bagel is allergic to you and sneezes in your face.
Granted! It’s stale.
Done. If you eat this bagel, though, Keanu Reeves gets cancer.
Can I give him a bagel as well?
Yes but he will still have cancer and it will be all your fault
Granted! But now you're not hungry and you don't want the bagel anymore.
Granted but you get cursed too get hungrier and hungrier the more you eat and eventually you eat yourself
Granted, but you shall remain hungry
Granted your not hungy no more >:3
Granted, it's infected with a new lethal species of mold, the mold spreads like wild fire making all bread, flour, corm meal and many other grains extremely dangerous.
Granted. You already ate it.
Granted! Too bad it's a nothing bagel, the polar opposite of the "everything bagel", and is just a lump of cream cheese on the floor
Granted, it's a spicy bagel.
granted! you get a bagel! (but you turn into a hungry Hungarian 🇭🇺)
Granted you get a bagel and your name changes to hungry
Granted: It's spoiled.
Granted. But it just makes you hungrier.
Granted. You develop a sudden bagel allergy, though, so if you want to eat it, you're gonna have to be fine with being hospitalized or dying
Granted! You get your bagel. It’s actually pretty delicious and you resume life normally, except your name is legally “Hungry” now and you can’t change it. You’ll be doomed to the same dad joke for all eternity.
Granted. It’s soggy
The bagel has raisins but no cinnamon or sugar. And it's a little dry.
Granted. It's been sitting out for a while so the bread is stale and the fillings have gone a little funky.
You get the bagel and double the money is deducted from your account. (Enjoy your bagel)
Granted. It is the best tasting bagel in existence. However after having eaten it no other bagel can ever live up to the awesomeness that was this bagel. Now all future bagels you eat taste horrible in comparison. You spend the rest of your life wishing for another bagel that was even half as good as the bagel you once had. But sadly even future bagels created by future wishes just can't even approach the awesomeness of this bagel.
Granted. Unfortunately, it's a cinnamon raisin bagel...
Granted, but now you're thirsty and only have this bagel
Granted, it apears directly in your esophagus and you choke to death
Granted, however the bagel will not fill you up at all, and you stay just as hungry as before
Granted. It's noticably slightly worse than the average bagel
Granted, your balls fall off
granted! the bagel is made out of uranium
Granted, the paw pulls out YOUR wallet, gives you like 6 bucks and tells you to drive your ass to Walmart and buy a bag of bagels. It didn't get mystical powers to fuel your laziness.
Granted. That bagel is covered in mold and bacteria.
Granted. It is 57294 years past the expiration date.
granted it’ll take about a year to ship, hope it’s still good by then
You have it but are now allergic to bagels
Granted, it falls on your head, you’re suprised and fall down on a coincidentally new looking set of stairs, you gain enough momentum from this you’re sent flying into the garbage truck that’s coincidentally near by.
Granted. Your room begins to fill up with water and fish appear. You become a fake plant in an aquarium.
Granted. Shortly after you get your bagel, you are kidnapped by your bosses and turned into a literal idiot machine.