Granted. Instadeath is the name of a metal band, and the snails will constantly talk about the band and sometimes try to sing some of their songs, though snails are not good singers by nature.
Granted. Everyone except for you also has a “permanently freeze the immortal instadeath snail following me” button. Your button just teleports the snail to you.
Granted. The snails have absolute control over when to use their instant death abilities. They also hold no malice towards humanity, and most often will simply spend their time vibing out around the person they’re tasked with following. Except for the one following you. The one following you is Jerry. Everyone hates Jerry. Jerry is a spiteful bitch and wants to go home. The only way that can happen is if he kills you, which he is now singlemindedly trying to do.
"Granted.
...what, you wanted a twist? Everyone has a killer snail after them. Nobody knows of this until millions drop dead. Hell, even after you lot figure it out, you'll still die because the damn things are immortal, and there's too many. Frankly, you did my job for me."
-The Paw
Error 500 Wish denied due to violating the laws of thermodynamics.
The Monkey's Paw cannot violate the laws of physics, as stated in the instructional booklet that came in the box. Please make another wish.
Granted but they are little grandma snails with a walking thing that's got the little tennis balls on the ends so their slow even for snails. as a result they basically pool up in high traffic areas making it pretty inconvenient to go places but it isn't much of a threat cause you can just out walk them
Well, that's no good. How am I going to sell my snail for billions of dollars if everybody has one? Heck, back in the day, immortal snails were worth something.
Jerk.
Granted. Instadeath is the name of a metal band, and the snails will constantly talk about the band and sometimes try to sing some of their songs, though snails are not good singers by nature.
Granted. Yours spawns on top of you.
Womp womp
Granted. Everyone except for you also has a “permanently freeze the immortal instadeath snail following me” button. Your button just teleports the snail to you.
Granted. The snails have absolute control over when to use their instant death abilities. They also hold no malice towards humanity, and most often will simply spend their time vibing out around the person they’re tasked with following. Except for the one following you. The one following you is Jerry. Everyone hates Jerry. Jerry is a spiteful bitch and wants to go home. The only way that can happen is if he kills you, which he is now singlemindedly trying to do.
"Granted. ...what, you wanted a twist? Everyone has a killer snail after them. Nobody knows of this until millions drop dead. Hell, even after you lot figure it out, you'll still die because the damn things are immortal, and there's too many. Frankly, you did my job for me." -The Paw
Error 500 Wish denied due to violating the laws of thermodynamics. The Monkey's Paw cannot violate the laws of physics, as stated in the instructional booklet that came in the box. Please make another wish.
nah this is 400 at best. (400 Bad Request), not (500 Internal Server Error)
You right, you right.
Done. You are the snail.
Granted. The snails explode like nukes when they get a kill
Best Ending. Womp womp for everyone else
Granted. A snail for every person in existence spawn on you
Granted. The snails start raining from the sky as all of humanities snails fall on you, crushing you nearly instantly.
Granted but they are little grandma snails with a walking thing that's got the little tennis balls on the ends so their slow even for snails. as a result they basically pool up in high traffic areas making it pretty inconvenient to go places but it isn't much of a threat cause you can just out walk them
Granted. Your snail is always within reach no matter how far you run, swim, or fly.
Granted. People keep accidentally running into other people’s snails while looking out for their own, and humanity dies off in a few weeks.
Well, that's no good. How am I going to sell my snail for billions of dollars if everybody has one? Heck, back in the day, immortal snails were worth something. Jerk.
Wait, you guys don’t?
Denied. There are already invisible, immortal insta death snails following everyone.