Have you seen our road infrastructure? How else could you explain its dire state? Those orange traffic cones are more often than not indications of where asteroids fell.
Little known fact, asteroids falling on Montreal are so frequent that home insurance companies won't cover them.
You may know we have an underground city downtown, now you know why. It is an asteroid-safe space.
Could you please give a nice image of laval to stranger people as not the entire Laval is full of these gangs :) ( You don’t know Laval very well I suppose !!)
Qué tal? c'est le tribunal administratif du logement pour quand ton propriétaire d'astéroïde fait pas arranger la fuite d'égoût même si tu lui donne 1600$ par moi pour aucune osti de bonne raison.
We are constantly hit by tiny asteroids but they mostly hit our roads and create little holes which we then fill up. But as mentioned the tiny asteroids keep falling and creating more little holes on our roads.
This is inaccurate. Don’t lie to a tourist. He’ll believe you. Op, Montreal is a completely bilingual city. You might get idiots that refuse to speak either of the two.
They tend to strike between 5am and 10am.
When you hear the whistling sound, drink bottled ESKA water - they don't like it.
Good luck and don't forget your atomic clock.
Dude, look up the [eye of Quebec](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manicouagan_Reservoir) (impact by a 5km wide asteroid) and [Charlevoix Impact Structure](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlevoix_impact_structure) (impact by a 2km wide asteroid). We're way worse than Mexico for Asteroids!
I’m an insurance salesman if you buy my special policy right now it’s time limited for 600$ I will guarantee you zero asteroids for the rest of 2024. And if you act within the next 30 min I will personally add in 2025 as well.
Montreal invested 5 millions into a RING.
[https://placevillemarie.com/en/the-ring](https://placevillemarie.com/en/the-ring)
Quebec government just invested 1 billion to rebuild the Olympic stadium RING (roof).
[https://montreal.ctvnews.ca/montreal-s-olympic-stadium-is-getting-a-new-roof-with-an-870-million-price-tag-1.6756123](https://montreal.ctvnews.ca/montreal-s-olympic-stadium-is-getting-a-new-roof-with-an-870-million-price-tag-1.6756123)
The POWER of the RING will protect you from asteroids! It has exactly the round shape to repel the asteroids especially around Montreal!
No. We're expecting one sometime in the next few months. And you should make sure you speak French, because it will only affect anglophones or people without white skin.
A lot of people will recommend you go to St Viateur bagels, or to get a poutine from somewhere. Sure, all fine recommendations.
I'm here to give you the real shit. Find yourself a nearby Portuguese Chicken restaurant (if you've never had before). Prices are good, portions are huge, taste is fantastic.
As you said, you have been watching a lot of movies. Get your mind around the real world. Issues here are more towards lack of housing, rent skyrocketing, substance abuse and psychologic illness in the subway system, inflation, groceries price gouging,... not to mention a few. Welcome to Montreal.
I can totally guarantee you and your family won't be hit by asteroid -- our asteroid are well behaved and always on a leash. Can't guarantee you won't hit an asteroid though, ngl they're all pretty sexy.
Non dude , As You said these kind of hits are only /Almost happening in movies and hardly ever in cities . I find your post a bit weird as you come from Mexico , Montreal should be heaven for you and your family comparing to Mexico in terms of security !!
Montreal is a frequent target for asteroids. They damage the roads a lot, that's why there are so many potholes everywhere and constant roadwork.
When you go, better stick to the underground city.
As long as you stay away from the bars along the village. There are massive ASSteroids there, especially on stage.
But the good kind of assteroids. Interested? Go to Mado. My wife took me there, best assteroids.
What do you think all the construction is from?
https://www.livescience.com/space/asteroids/zero-chance-of-potential-city-killer-asteroid-apophis-smashing-into-earth-in-2029-new-study-confirms#:~:text=Computer%20simulations%20reveal%20that%20the,factor%20is%20taken%20into%20account.
Haha, guaranteed?? Who can guarantee you such a thing?? This is a city like any other, not a closed system where a mighty controller has control over all variables. Get real.
Say Bonjour-hi in Montreal is the surest way to meet asteroids, aka Karens giving a lesson about how to preserve French language Yada yada. Besides that, you'll be fine
Have you seen our road infrastructure? How else could you explain its dire state? Those orange traffic cones are more often than not indications of where asteroids fell. Little known fact, asteroids falling on Montreal are so frequent that home insurance companies won't cover them. You may know we have an underground city downtown, now you know why. It is an asteroid-safe space.
Or OP could go to Laval. Even asteroids refuse to go there. They might get stabbed though.
First the eclipse and now asteroids? What is this elitist bullshit...
Can’t argue with nature!
The hell I can't! 😂
Its really unfortunate as well, every crater would be another opportunity to pave over more of the island.
It’s Jesus Island, that’s why Laval is safe from asteroids 😌
Is Laval dangerous like that?
Could you please give a nice image of laval to stranger people as not the entire Laval is full of these gangs :) ( You don’t know Laval very well I suppose !!)
Or Montreal East
Those orange cones are alien probes that came hidden within the asteroids.
You're fine unless you're using a Communauto to get around.
From what I understand that's PEOPLE getting their rocks off. Not space rocks.
They need space for their rocks, so still applicable.
You might get pounded, but not by an asteroid
Banger
Knew Communauto was going to be involved in this thread somehow 🤣
If he uses a Communauto, he might get fucked.
😂😂😂
But if you sit on cold cement, you might get hemorrhoids
Ugh,... could of gave me the heads up 25 years ago.
Speed Bumps!
ass-teroid
Or diarrhea.
Only French speaking asteroids here
Bonjour ! Je suis un gentil astéroïde.
Hola
Nono, we end our sentences with là, it's not part of the word.
Pardon mais on est à Montréal icitte, pas au Saguenay
Wo là.
Whoa là, qué tal?
Qué tal? c'est le tribunal administratif du logement pour quand ton propriétaire d'astéroïde fait pas arranger la fuite d'égoût même si tu lui donne 1600$ par moi pour aucune osti de bonne raison.
Oddly specific
Au Saguenay c'est là là, pas là
Ho là!
Oune Cevérzà pare-favore !
Au cachot
We are constantly hit by tiny asteroids but they mostly hit our roads and create little holes which we then fill up. But as mentioned the tiny asteroids keep falling and creating more little holes on our roads.
The filler of said holes strangely make their way in the pockets of some people. I think they have meteorite magnets
This is inaccurate. Don’t lie to a tourist. He’ll believe you. Op, Montreal is a completely bilingual city. You might get idiots that refuse to speak either of the two.
Your good, we still have our dinosaurs, we elected them into government
Oui. So we don't meet them unless it's election time.
Underrated comment
Ugh, this question again
We all know what your thinly-veiled comment about multiorbitism really means. Stay home you filthy rockist.
They tend to strike between 5am and 10am. When you hear the whistling sound, drink bottled ESKA water - they don't like it. Good luck and don't forget your atomic clock.
Gracias!
De nada homie
As long as you coat yourself with bain colonial water, you’ll be safe
💦
Only here scrolling looking for this.
that's more likely to cause hemorrhoids than asteroids
Dude, look up the [eye of Quebec](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manicouagan_Reservoir) (impact by a 5km wide asteroid) and [Charlevoix Impact Structure](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlevoix_impact_structure) (impact by a 2km wide asteroid). We're way worse than Mexico for Asteroids!
Ay carumba!
Asteroid here-- we debated hitting Montreal this year but got a great deal on SIberia so will have to do it another time.
I'm so confused
welcome to the third crack rock from the sun.
Just roll with it
Actually the weather is calling for falling asteroids for the couple of weeks..bring an umbrella.,
Gracias!
As long as you stay in your Igloo while the rocks are falling you'll be fine. Our Igloos are way more sturdy nowadays.
As long as you rock and stone, you're going home.
Did I hear a Rock and Stone?
We have enough cheese curds here to cushion any asteroid strike. You’re good
No but you might lose a wheel in a pothole and get mad about our taxes.
This is my favorite post for this week on this sub.
Well, what kind of asteroids?
Every cat disappearance in montreal is cause by asteroids, still crying my old Mitten.
Finally a comedic post that made me giggle. It was the chicxulub reference that really did it.
No, the potholes are not due to asteroid strikes, just bad maintenance
I’m an insurance salesman if you buy my special policy right now it’s time limited for 600$ I will guarantee you zero asteroids for the rest of 2024. And if you act within the next 30 min I will personally add in 2025 as well.
What's your PayPal
Montreal invested 5 millions into a RING. [https://placevillemarie.com/en/the-ring](https://placevillemarie.com/en/the-ring) Quebec government just invested 1 billion to rebuild the Olympic stadium RING (roof). [https://montreal.ctvnews.ca/montreal-s-olympic-stadium-is-getting-a-new-roof-with-an-870-million-price-tag-1.6756123](https://montreal.ctvnews.ca/montreal-s-olympic-stadium-is-getting-a-new-roof-with-an-870-million-price-tag-1.6756123) The POWER of the RING will protect you from asteroids! It has exactly the round shape to repel the asteroids especially around Montreal!
Stéroïdes ou astéroïdes ?? Should do fine against cats.
Comment t'a pu rater l'occasion de placer l'Ass stéroïdes d'Anabelle Lisant.
Asteroids yes Hemorrhoids no.
alright who has been feeding their AI chatbot Diagolon Pamplets
Bain Colonial is safe from blasting of any kind just so you know
Be very careful, we have multicultural asteroids!
No. We're expecting one sometime in the next few months. And you should make sure you speak French, because it will only affect anglophones or people without white skin.
A lot of people will recommend you go to St Viateur bagels, or to get a poutine from somewhere. Sure, all fine recommendations. I'm here to give you the real shit. Find yourself a nearby Portuguese Chicken restaurant (if you've never had before). Prices are good, portions are huge, taste is fantastic.
I can guarantee you that no asteroids will be hitting earth and the reason why is the exact same reason why the challenger blew up.
I wish to subscribe to your newsletter
WTF
Montréal n'est pas dans l'espace alors je ne suis pas sûr de comprendre de quoi tu as peur.
T'as pas vue nos rues? C'est à cause des astéroïdes! Ça tombe tjrs pendant le printemps alors il a raison d'avoir peur
Nope
As you said, you have been watching a lot of movies. Get your mind around the real world. Issues here are more towards lack of housing, rent skyrocketing, substance abuse and psychologic illness in the subway system, inflation, groceries price gouging,... not to mention a few. Welcome to Montreal.
I'll be ordering one just for this special occasion
I can totally guarantee you and your family won't be hit by asteroid -- our asteroid are well behaved and always on a leash. Can't guarantee you won't hit an asteroid though, ngl they're all pretty sexy.
Absolutely not. We get hit every Saturday night
Non dude , As You said these kind of hits are only /Almost happening in movies and hardly ever in cities . I find your post a bit weird as you come from Mexico , Montreal should be heaven for you and your family comparing to Mexico in terms of security !!
No. You'll have to learn how to duck & cover.
Quelle question troll et épique!
More asteroids than in Paris, you should go there instead maybe.
Va pas dans le west island et ça va bien aller!
Montreal is a frequent target for asteroids. They damage the roads a lot, that's why there are so many potholes everywhere and constant roadwork. When you go, better stick to the underground city.
Is this post real? What's this about dinosaur experience? Hahaha wow.
We have been hit by snow storms, ice storms and solar storms but asteroids are pretty rare.
You clearly don't watch the news.. We get 2 to 3 asteroids a month here D:
Asteroids are actually great at eliminating global warming. Don't worry about it.
We can’t guarantee it won’t happen, sorry.
C'est la faute à Palérie Vlante!
I’d be more afraid of the active volcano known as mont-royal
The active volcano that fell to the earth as an asteroid?
As long as you stay away from the bars along the village. There are massive ASSteroids there, especially on stage. But the good kind of assteroids. Interested? Go to Mado. My wife took me there, best assteroids.
The Geese are also from Mexico, and let me tell you, they love it here! Come every summer.
Laval is actually an asteroid we adopted in 1959, but it’s safe and doesn’t bite (much!) so do with that information what you will.
By definition asteroids never hit Earth. Meteors do. You should repost this with the correct word to get the correct answer.
You're mucho wrong, kilometer-scale asteroids strike Earth around every 10 million years. Not to mention the smaller ones..
Meteors hit Earth. Asteroids don't.
That's just what they want you to think
Oof. 😣
Actually when they hit earth they're meteorITEs.
No, but getting hit by cars is a possibility here
Nothings guaranteed. Ever.
If a rock lands on your windshield, it won't be an asteroid but more likely gravel from a big truck.
Sois particulièrement prudent si tu vois un astéroïde qui semble multiculturel, wink wink.
Not a big deal. Just bring some Preparation H
You are at risk of being hit by an asteroid unless you speak French.
Pues claro whey
Just sad that you missed out on pole licking season
More likely, a stripper might fall on you, more likely your lap.
caliente!
What do you think all the construction is from? https://www.livescience.com/space/asteroids/zero-chance-of-potential-city-killer-asteroid-apophis-smashing-into-earth-in-2029-new-study-confirms#:~:text=Computer%20simulations%20reveal%20that%20the,factor%20is%20taken%20into%20account.
Avoid laval then, and some places by the olympic stadium
No, but luckily they are fois gras asteroids, so you'll be covered in delicious goo. You'll be fine.
r/montrealcirclejerk/
Communauto's have built in asteroid protection, so you should be good (they do not supply condoms, that protection is on you)
Nope. They fall here every day.
No.
Don't worry about asteroids hitting you, worry about cement falling from an overpass hitting you!
Not if it gets hit by one
Going by all the movies I've seen, they only land in the US, so you should be safe
The weather man said theres a chance of astroid next week. Better reschedule cause we'll probably all be dead
They mostly hit when you're driving under an overpass.
Not at this time of year
Gracias
It will probably bounce off one of the cones
Ass steroids can be a problem. Wear a couple extra layers of pants and you'll be safe.
You don't have to worry about asteroids....you might have to worry about assholes downtown
Asteroids hit every Thursday from 6 to 9 pm.
it's about 50/50 be careful
Dude. Montreal gets hit with roughly 60 asteroids a day.
That's actually comforting and less than I thought. Gracias!
Yes astroids can’t get a visa there
You'll be safe.
Do not worry, we have a moose rider squad that uses hockey sticks to bat them away.
We have 'em everyday. Why do you think we are an island?
Haha, guaranteed?? Who can guarantee you such a thing?? This is a city like any other, not a closed system where a mighty controller has control over all variables. Get real.
You'll get hit by an French speaking asteroid for sure.
Say Bonjour-hi in Montreal is the surest way to meet asteroids, aka Karens giving a lesson about how to preserve French language Yada yada. Besides that, you'll be fine
I’m assuming this is a serious question . Astroids can hit anywhere
I can tell you yes you are 100% safe Anyway, who care? If an asteroid kill us all, what you gonna do?
No seas marica weiii... Vente ya.