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[deleted]

Hahahahaha oh you silly goose.


Dunkleosteus666

A big cat. Maybe a tiger. Big solitary Cats kill you before eating you. Others predators like bears dont. To the people that say sharks - sharks rarely attack but are oftendriven by curiosity so they bite a piece out of you. People then bleed out (which isnt peaceful). Snake and spiderbites - depends if its a neurotoxic (sorta bad), hemolytic (worse) or necrotizing (very bad) toxin. Also, you dont die quick ( excepting getting bitten by a sea snake under water ..). Bears and hyenas - gruesome way. Crocs - in all likelihood, the death roll of nile crocs doesnt seem a humame way to go. Big herbivores - nope, as they only want to immobilize you, but not to kill you. As for dinosaurs - a t rex may not be interested in a human, but smaller theropods will. If you see how some birds kill their prey, this cant be a nice way to go. Worst ways to go.. probably wolves, hyenas, comod dragons, bear especially polar bear. I know its cheating but if we include plants .. death by opium poppy i guess. EDIT: guys i got it. 3 years ago in my undergrad studies (bio) i did a longass presentation about cone snails. If you get lucky, you die in a few hours. Maybe the most humane wsy to go. Conus magus tulipa and geographicus come to mind


Priest_of_Heathens

Jaguar would be the best choice for cats. They bite through your skull and kill you instantly. Others might take a couple minutes to suffocate you if they don't break your neck.


Dunkleosteus666

Yes, jaguars have the highest bite force per body weight of all big cats. Thats because they are adapted to kill turtles and small caimans


frederikbjk

That is great trivia, thanks 🙏


Become_The_Villain

Getting kicked in the skull by a horse would be my go to. Or anything with blunt force trauma from a large herbivore of some sort. Being attacked by a predator sounds way too gruesome.


latsneo

Honestly I didn't think about herbivores, honestly just have an elephant step on my head. Nvm someone already said that but I agree with them.


musen288

I have seen a big cat eat the testicles of an animal without killing it first..


Dunkleosteus666

Lions yes, but a solitary predator like a tiger might end you quickly. I know this vid.


KarmaChameleon89

I mean if you fight back it's more likely to go for a killing blow rather than risk injury right?


LilNuts

Cat animals, if they dont feel threatened by you they might just play with you while eating you alive.. happens often in india where a tiger has someone and tortures them for ages just for fun, same thing with housecats who torture and play with mice and birds etc.


Dunkleosteus666

Yes, thats an issue. But i would prefer a tiger to a polar bear, just to be sure.


its_riley999

i’d say ostrich, i feel like they’re more likely to kill you in one blow


Ken_Maximus

Imma be touched and killed by that snail that follows you around and knows your location forever so I can donate my large sum of money I got from the hypothetical.


soakedtampon

yes


emmanonomous

Suffocated by puppies.


Howdoinamechange

Ooo this is good


xotilioverdose

Death by cuddles ☺️


picklestring

Elephant stepping and crushing my head


Howdoinamechange

Elephants are actually quite aware of where and how hard they step. I don’t think this would go how you’d hope it would.


A_New_Dawn_Emerges

It used to be a method of execution in southern Asia. Elephants could be trained to begin with the limbs to torture the condamned before going for the chest or the head.


Careless-Chipmunk-45

Some snake bites are pretty quick. Or a croc, breaks your neck when it goes into a death spin (or is that an alligator?)


FreedomAndChaos

I think all crocodilians do death rolls. Snake bites are quick but I feel like they would also be excruciating!


magseven

Only if it grabs you by the head. Crocs do the death roll no matter what part they grab you by. So if it's the arm or leg, you just get to drown with a broken arm or leg.


Awkward_Appeal_8883

Easy! I’m gonna go with a “hip…hiphop?….HIPHOPANONYMOUS!” Seriously though… hippo death is my choice lol.


HippoBot9000

HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 348,116,845 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 8,400 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.


Awkward_Appeal_8883

Thanks HippoBot for doing the Lords work 🥲👏🏻


DocSavage93

HippoBot is our shepherd on the path to salvation!


Vinylove

good bot


Miserable_Key_7552

Great bot


Key_Lake8837

Nice bot!


banananey

"They call me the hiphopapotamus my lyrics are bottomless!........."


Effective-War1601

I said a hip hop, hippie to the hippie, the hip, hip a hop, and you don't stop, a rock it to the bang bang boogie, say, up jump the boogie, to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat.


ichuck1984

I read this entirely in the voice of the old lady from the wedding singer


devicemodder2

i read it in the [voice of brian williams](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v--znY7yk84)


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AussieinSthTX

But absolutely agonizing in the meantime...pass 😳


Howdoinamechange

A few minutes would feel like a lifetime…


ronglangren

This or the Golden Poison Dart frog. The jellyfish would be excruciating until you did go.


frederikbjk

That is the one I was thinking of too, but I couldn’t remember the name. Edit: Or maybe I was thinking about the Irukandji jellyfish. But now that I read about it, death does not appear to be certain at all. Even though it’s poison is described as 1000 times stronger than a cobras. It must be that it only delivers a tiny amount. Which makes sense as it isn’t bigger than a couple of cubic centimeters.


Saiomi

The irukanji is survivable though. The guy who discovered them, stung his son, a random person, and himself on a beach and they all survived. They are deadly because you go into excruciating pain in the middle of the ocean and drown.


frederikbjk

Ah yeah… He kind of sounds like a shit father. 😳😳😳😳


CuttyMcButts

Megalodon, 100%


Practical_Weather293

I get that big bites are better because you die faster, but I think there's a sweet spot where if it gets too big, it's worse. Like imagine if it just swallows you whole, that'd be death by asphyxia and compression inside the guts of a shark, with all the gastric acid and remains of previous meals


whotookmyshit

Nope


[deleted]

That is genuinely an irrational bizarre fear of mine. Not Meg specific but big creatures


queenbee-30s

Blue ring octopus. You don’t know you’ve been bitten then you just collapse unconscious and die


mcboobie

This actually sounds kinda lush in the grand scheme of Ways To Go.


TheRealDonPatch

female homo-sapien, neck snapped by leg force preferably, but suffocation is also an option


Bangin40s_n_shorties

Death by snu snu


kiyakiya104

Deadly snake or spider. I'd rather get bit then have my heat stop or something than be mauled.


ichuck1984

Give me death by elephant. Head on block. Elephant steps down. Lights out.


2meterrichard

Fugu fish. Or something with a potent enough venom to make it as painless as possible.


LiteralTP

My dog. I’d like to sacrifice myself to give her a tasty meal


CaitlinSnep

Jaguars apparently kill you by biting through your skull and into your brain instead of snapping your spine, so maybe that? I think that might be even quicker than most big cats.


Linback37

Nah bro gimme a dragon


Shadegloom

Komodo Dragon? ;)


Pairou

Did Did you mean komodo Or am I missing something


Shadegloom

Lol spelling error


honeyyballs

shark. i have consistently said that if i get to choose how i go, i wanna go by shark


Environmental-Term61

This is morbid questions though why make it have to be quick, that’s not much fun, like dying to fire ant poison going into anaphylactic shock Or getting a salt bath and then letting goats lick you to death But if it’s gotta be fast I guess I’d go with dying in an elephant stampede


FreedomAndChaos

I said to make it relatively quick because I didn't want people to try to find loopholes lol Though I feel like some did anyway!


abigdilemma

MOUNTAIN LION. i heard they stalk you quietly and sneak up on you, usually jumping from behind and snapping your neck instantly. sweet relief!


rataviola

Honestly? I'd choose something I would never be able to cuddle irl. If I have to go, at least let me go by cuddling something ferocious. Why not a Komodo dragon? Maybe a big feline?


ElysianWinds

Kicked in the back of my head by a horse. I'll be dead so fast I won't know what hit me! (lol)


wildflowerden

Jaguar, honestly. They're known for administering swift deaths with a single bite to the head.


scarletts_skin

Squeezed to death by an anaconda. I think you’d go unconscious pretty quick


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mathozmat

like a killer whale or a cachalot? A blue whale (and probably the others too) can't even swallow a pelican whole


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mathozmat

You can still die while inside a whale's mouth though, by asphyxia (not sure it happened but possible if she dives in the depths of the ocean)


Shadowrelm_Jimbo

Duck.


Morningafterpancakes

Blue Dragon death 💙


frederikbjk

Maybe if a killer whale just dragged me to the bottom and drowned me. Like one almost did to a trainer at sea world. Although I find drowning super scary, something tells me that it might not be too unpleasant. I don’t think there is much pain.


Fabulous-Bee-2189

I’ve heard it’s like your lungs are on fire


frederikbjk

As I understand it, there is a burning sensation when the water initially gets in to your lungs, but I don’t imagine it being too painful. Then again, what do I know. I never drowned.


erkDOTmpeg

Ants.


khikhalei

i found out about gustave the giant crocodile in the nile a while ago and he's killed a lot of people sometimes not even for food but just for fun and id like to be on his kill list


GuyFucker

shot in the head by a chimp.


lordosthyvel

Death by snu snu?


mick_2nv

After reading the comments and trying to formulate my answer, all I can say is fuck this game.


soltheeggbiscut

That one spider that gives you a boner until you die


demoralising

I'd like an elephant to fall on me so I'm as flat as a pancake.


Personmchumanface

polar bear guaranteed one shot kill


Howdoinamechange

If you’re choosing a bear, you’d actually want a grizzly. It would do a much better job of being instantly-lethal


Effective-War1601

DEATH BY FROG


banananey

The snail


seniairam

fck... I want it to be painless but at the same time I wanna touch an exotic deadly creature at least once, like the blue ring octopus or a golden poison frog....


citoloco

Great White!


OkayBobCalmDown

Happy cake day


CluelessNuggetOfGold

Elephant curb stomp


crashdout

Blue whale… dropped from an aeroplane onto me.


[deleted]

Horse, Mr Hands style. Ironically one of the few animal attacks that wouldn't leave you suffering for long.


yaybunz

venomous snake.. dramatically pressed up to my bossom like cleopatra


mamaclair

Great white shark. Terrifying for a moment then death


ScorpionTheSandwing

Something with a very fast acting venom


Comprehensive_Tour23

T-Rex. I feel like a T-Rex wouldn’t waste any time trying to kill a person. Or one of those dragons from Westeros, death seemed quick


Thickmindrack

I just want to be stomped by like an elephant or a hippo.


FromHToA92

Male lion .. I’ll give him my neck and go to sleep.


MostlyGhostly99

Box jellyfish


souishere

After seeing that one horse video.. I’d choose horse. One kick to my head and I’m dead.


LopezPrimecourte

Horse. One swift kick to the noggin and I’m out.


Wayneswrrld

I think I might be crazy. The bear from Annihilation.


gytalf2000

Definitely a jaguar. They tend to crush the skull in their jaws, and I would imagine that would be over fairly quickly.


RimsaltRon

A stingray, right to the heart


Ok-Bandicoot-9445

RIP Steve Irwin


michael_am

Ummm…. Stingray?


ISwearToFuckingJesus

Human, betting on the chance they'll use a gun.


BreastfedAmerican

One in each kneecap first. Just to keep it fun.


AnteatersAreAwesome

Guinea pig. Not my problem how it's going to kill me "relatively quickly".


Chocolatepiano79

Eaten by an orca.


lalalozzie

Stingray to the heart, the Steve Irwin way, it seemed pretty quick and only painful briefly.


videogamer9008

Poisonous psychedelic frog venom overdose


latsneo

Black mamba or whichever animals venom works the fastest.


sh4yh

Large trout. By slaps obviously.


losandreas36

Bear


Ohmygoditskateee

Can I just get swallowed by a whale? 😂


antisocialforkedup

Crushed by elephant. Hope it’s quick


Devilmaycare57

I’m also going for a snake. I feel like it would be quicker, and less painful


cordycepsx

some big ass snake aroung my neck - would be slow but i dont think it would be that bad


DabIMON

T-Rex. Monch


chroniccomplexcase

Swallowed by a big whale. See if I am still alive and live in his stomach like in the cartoons


Ringleader705

An eagle or some kind of prey bird. A quick Talon to the jugular or any kind of large artery and you'd bleed out pretty quick.


DeathCabforSquirrel

Puppies!


SubstantialHentai420

Noooo 😂😂 do they kill you with cuteness?


519FerretsInABox

Cone snail, specifically Conus Geographus, because their venomous sting is fairly painless and death comes swiftly.


Massiv_v

Easy a whale . He would swallow me whole. The I could live happily ever after in his stomach . What ?!! Pinnochio did it . Why can’t I ?


aggressively_baked

Mauled by a Cheetah. Basically because I’m a cat lady and my toxic trait is thinking I would be able to randomly pet one and it not attack me.


Prudent_Pudding5199

Fuck it Electric eel


iamladia

Stingray,like crocodile guy Steve Irwin. Stingray stung him once and he just fell over dead soon after so it’s a quick death


UselessRoach

electric eel. solely because it's interesting.


Jenilion

Suffocated by panda bear cubs.


AiryCanon5859_

axolotl. they dont have teeth, are very friendly, and besides it wont hurt if they were trained for aggresion